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	<title>O p e n J e s u s . o r g</title>
	
	<link>http://www.openjesus.org</link>
	<description>the personal blog of Jesus Christ of Nazareth</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:01:18 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Liveblogging the Michael Jackson Judgment!</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/liveblogging-the-michael-jackson-judgment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/liveblogging-the-michael-jackson-judgment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:22:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Feedbacking the Masses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anal sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[little boys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Jackson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sodomy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[He&#8217;s here! The freakin&#8217; King of Pop is here! In a few minutes I&#8217;m going to meet my disciples outside the Gates where God will be trying Michael Jackson! We haven&#8217;t had a case this contentious in a long, long time. I&#8217;m going to be updating in real-time and tweeting or twatting or whatever it&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mark Sanford is going to Hell for extramarital sex</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/mark-sanford-is-going-to-hell-for-extramarital-sex/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/mark-sanford-is-going-to-hell-for-extramarital-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Jun 2009 21:54:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anal sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damned to hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Sanford]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whore]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1289</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I apologize, my children. I should have told you earlier that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a filthy whoremonger and cheater. As you&#8217;ve probably heard by now, he&#8217;s been outed by your mainstream media in what is only the latest in a series of running sex scandals for God&#8217;s chosen Republican Party. If they [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/mark-sanford-is-going-to-hell-for-extramarital-sex/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why fags shouldn’t have kids</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/why-fags-shouldnt-have-kids/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/why-fags-shouldnt-have-kids/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:48:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anal sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fag]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jackpot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Testament]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sodomy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1266</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My children, a great injustice has been done in Georgia. In what will unquestionably go down as one of the single worst decisions in the history of world jurisprudence, the Georgia Supreme Court has decided that the children of a man who chose late in his life to defy God and live a life of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sarah Palin is an unmitigated moron</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/sarah-palin-is-an-unmitigated-moron/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/sarah-palin-is-an-unmitigated-moron/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:39:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Letterman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sarah Palin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whore]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know, as the Son of God it is my duty to love each and every one of you more than I love even myself. I will admit that on the mornings that I catch sight of myself in the mirror this can be tougher than you&#8217;d think. You have no idea the kind of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/sarah-palin-is-an-unmitigated-moron/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>In response to your prayers for Obama’s death</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/in-response-to-your-prayers-for-obamas-death/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/in-response-to-your-prayers-for-obamas-death/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:52:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barack Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imprecatory prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wiley Drake]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1214</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[On a normal day I&#8217;ll receive somewhere in the neighborhood of ten to thirteen million prayers asking for some person or group to be killed, and on that same normal day I&#8217;ll only answer about fifty of them. It&#8217;s not that the millions of other subjects of these prayers for death don&#8217;t deserve it &#8211; [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Scott Roeder wins one for America’s babies!</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/scott-roeder-wins-one-for-americas-babies/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/scott-roeder-wins-one-for-americas-babies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:46:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edits and Revelations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[War Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby killer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1206</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an unsurprising move earlier today, the family of now-dead baby-killer George Tiller announced that the clinic which saw so many of God&#8217;s own creations snuffed out, just as He had created them to be, will be permanently closed. Although I still wish God had chosen something better than a lone devout follower with a [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>George Tiller gets aborted</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/george-tiller-gets-aborted/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/george-tiller-gets-aborted/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:33:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Straight Damnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Testament]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Purpose Driven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vengeance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1178</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Of course you&#8217;ve all heard the news by now, prominent baby killer George Tiller was late-late-term aborted by God yesterday in his home church in Kansas. George has been on God&#8217;s shitlist for a while now, being that killing babies is something He tends to frown upon. I&#8217;ve offered to take care of George personally [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Remembering mothers, and going to Hell for it</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/remembering-mothers-and-going-to-hell-for-it/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/remembering-mothers-and-going-to-hell-for-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 May 2009 05:15:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damned]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jelly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marijuana]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mothers Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1162</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My, what a busy couple of weeks it&#8217;s been. Despite heroic efforts by virtually every person outside of the United States to contain or better understand swine flu, the disease is still spreading. My team and I have been putting an extraordinary effort into breaking into Asia with the disease, as God has decreed that [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Swine flu: How to Survive God’s Wrath</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/swine-flu-how-to-survive-gods-wrath/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/swine-flu-how-to-survive-gods-wrath/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:43:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mexicans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Testament]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swine flu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vengeance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wrath]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1141</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My children, I am truly sorry. I tried hard to convince Dad to show you some leniency, but it looks like He&#8217;s going to fuck up a whole bunch of you with swine flu in very short order. It&#8217;s not the end I would have chosen for any of you, but unfortunately I&#8217;m only the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/swine-flu-how-to-survive-gods-wrath/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Smoke a joint for Jesus</title>
		<link>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/smoke-a-joint-for-jesus/</link>
		<comments>http://www.openjesus.org/2009/smoke-a-joint-for-jesus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2009 14:57:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jesus</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Words of Wisdom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[420]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cannabis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marijuana]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.openjesus.org/?p=1133</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are only a few truly exciting days in my year. Easter, Christmas, Good Friday, and all of those other half-baked pseudo-religious pagan festivals are nothing more than man-made blasphemies against God, so of course they don&#8217;t count. April 20th, however&#8230;well, let&#8217;s just say that today is important for different reasons. It may well be [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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