Crossway North Daily Devotional

Solid Advice for Bratty Kids

2015-01-05T07:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

The moment you held your baby for the first time was beautiful. It was a clean slate. As you projected into the future, all you could see were positive times ahead. You may have foreseen the typical problems in parenting, but you knew how you were going to handle it. The future was bright. You weren't expecting your child to one day ignore your rules, show little respect for you or others, throw tantrums to get their way, and display a consistent attitude of entitlement and lack of gratitude.

As you experience consistent bad behavior, you may be concerned that you are raising a brat. Do you feel powerless as they slip out of control? In the middle of a battle, do you feel unsure of what to do? Are you at your wit's end? You can turn that around by following a couple of easy principles. Here's advice for bratty kids.

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What does it mean to be respectful?”

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10 Hardships in Marriage and How to Overcome Them

2015-01-04T07:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

Every marriage faces hardship. It’s a given. This list covers most of the common troubles, but your situation is unique. The key point here is to face the difficulty—whatever kind of struggle it is—together with your wife.

Do you remember your marriage vows?

“For better, for worse…”

“In sickness and in health…”

“For richer, for poorer..."

These promises presuppose tough times. We went into our marriage with our eyes open, so there’s really no excuse for not bringing everything we have to the table when things—once in a while—get dicey. Here are 10 marital hardships and how to overcome them.

Huddle Up: “I want you to know that I still am committed to my marriage vows and I will love you for the rest of my life.”

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10 IDEAS FOR WINTER DATES WITH YOUR WIFE

2014-12-30T07:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by All Pro Dad

Spending cold winter days and nights with my family is wonderful. But even more wonderful is the time my wife and I spend during this time. Enjoying hot chocolate, warm cookies, warm blankets, and an occasional movie is how we like to do it.

However, several nights of sitting on the couch can get old. Having great conversation is the key to keeping those types of nights fresh. And every so often, you might want to put your hats, gloves, and scarves on and enjoy a winter night out.

No matter what you and your wife prefer, you can enjoy some cozy winter days and nights together.

Here are ideas for 10 winter dates with your wife.

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “Will you go out with me?"

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7 Common Double Standards in Marriage

2014-12-03T07:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

A friend of mine is married to an elementary school teacher. His wife has to get up early and needs her sleep to have enough energy for the kids in her class. Quite often, she will go to bed earlier than my friend who is a night owl.

Early in their marriage, on more than one occasion, he stumbled into the bedroom late without considering his volume. He found out quickly how much that agitated his wife. She gave him an earful about his lack of consideration and selfishness; he then complained about her over sensitivity and harshness.

Many mornings she woke up, turned the lights on, loudly sifted through dresser drawers, and burst through doors in a focused rush to get to work. She operated completely unaware of the disruption she made. My friend would lie in bed angry that his morning sleep was disrupted. Each held the other to a double standard. Each one expected the other to uphold standards that they broke a moment later.

Such attitudes can attack the foundation of even the strongest marriages. Here are 7 common double standards in marriage and ways to avoid them.

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have you ever been treated unfairly?”

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5 Financial Red Flags That Can Sink Your Family

2014-11-28T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by A llProDad

The joke – and it’s an old one – goes like this: Fred receives a windfall of $1,000. He asks a friend what’s the best thing to do with his money.

“Open a checking account,” his friend said. “Then, whenever you need some money, you just write out a check.”

Fred thinks that is a great idea and does exactly that. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from the bank saying, “You have an overdraft of $273.”

So Fred goes in and meets the bank manager.

“What’s an overdraft?” Fred asks.

“Well,” the banker replies, “I’ll keep this straightforward." "It means that you owe us two hundred seventy-three dollars.”

“No problem.” Fred responds. “Do you accept checks?”

The story may sound absurd, but we’re doing exactly what Fred tried to do every time we extend our credit a little more. We’re sinking deeper and deeper.

Keep your family's head above water by watching out for these 5 financial red flags that can sink your family.

Huddle Up: Take Monopoly money, give your kids the amount of a monthly paycheck, and have them pay you for the amount of each monthly expense.

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Do You Have Resilient Children? Think Again.

2014-11-18T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

When I was two, I was playing in the sandbox with my sister. My dad was mowing the lawn and he asked her to go inside and get him a drink. As he went back to his work, turning his back for a second, I decided to go for a walk. As fate would have it, the train tracks were about a quarter mile from my house. Up I went. I was only on the tracks for a short period of time when the next train came around the corner. As it approached, a passenger noticed me standing on the edge of the tracks. He signaled the engineer who hit the brakes 300 yards from me. The train skidded and eventually, the front corner hit my forehead fracturing my skull. The train shuffled past but not before cutting the left side of my head resulting in 54 stitches. At the time, and for many years after, I was unaware of the significance of that experience. However, the scar has remained and will forever.

When faced with a hurtful or perhaps traumatizing event, kids sometimes seem to function as if nothing happened. Many parents come to the mistaken conclusion that they have resilient children. However, kids just don't know how to process the wounds that have been created from painful experiences. So they place those experiences in a reservoir and continue to live life. Painful experiences for kids remain with them like a scar only to resurface at a later date.

Rather than assume they are fine, there are things we can do in the meantime that can help them process and heal.

Huddle up with your kids when things are hard and ask: “How do you feel?"

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3 Ways to Fall Back in Love with Your Wife

2014-11-13T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

This month, we change our clocks as part of daylight savings time. This is somewhat new for me because residents of Indiana haven't always adjusted their clocks. It took me a few years to remember if I should move our clocks up an hour or back an hour. Finally, someone taught me an easy way to remember. I was told to "fall back" and "spring forward". That subtle little lesson has been helpful.

In the same way, small things in our marriage can make a big difference. When you aren't careful, you can drift in marriage and may need to make small adjustments to fall back in love with your wife. I speak from experience as I allowed my marriage to grow apart. Here are my insights and 3 ways to fall back in love with your wife.

Huddle up with your wife and ask her: “What made you fall in love with me?”\

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Are You Getting Played by Your Kids?

2014-11-05T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

My wife and I had these beautiful plants in our living room. When my son was eighteen months old, he was drawn to them. Probably because we were new, uptight parents, we had stern rules that he was not to touch them. Every time he walked over to them, we consistently told him, "no." Eventually he got it. Being naïve, I thought the issue was solved. Then I watched him methodically and nonchalantly walk backwards until he "happened" to be next to the plants seemingly by accident. Without looking at the plants or us, he moved his hand down and began touching the leaves. I was amazed. It was all so calculated, brilliant, and scary.

Kids are smart and, like all humans, inherently self-focused. They want what they want and will do what they can to get it. Some strategies are somewhat innocent, like "the wear down"—simply asking over and over again until you finally breakdown and say "yes." Others, like lying, are more detrimental. However, the power play of kids that is particularly dangerous and can cause marital issues is to divide and conquer.

Huddle up with your wife and commit to never allowing the kids to divide you.

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Confronting Crazy Sports Parents

2014-10-31T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

Growing up a die-hard sports fan in Philadelphia, I have seen plenty of bad behavior from fans. Despite what is portrayed in the media about my home city, bad fan behavior is everywhere, even at little league games. Watching adults getting unruly at professional sporting events and berating grown men making millions is more tolerable. When our kids are the ones out on the field, the tension can be explosive and it's intolerable. There is nothing more frustrating than crazy sports parents.

A friend of mine was watching his son have one of the best football games of his high school career. As a father, you can imagine the enjoyment my friend was experiencing seeing his son fly around the field. Suddenly a parent from the opposing team began taunting my friend's son. What would you do in that situation? Confront the man? Ask a school official to talk to him? Sit silently annoyed? It's tough to know. Ultimately, my friend stood up and told the man that he was talking about his son. Fortunately, the mocking stopped. It could have gotten much uglier. These incidents are growing.

Why are parents like this and what should you do about it?

Huddle up with your kids tonight and ask: "How should people behave at sporting events?"

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4 Tips for Having a Family Dinner

2014-10-26T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

How many nights per week do you have a family dinner together at home? According to a Gallup poll, only one out of four families eat dinner together every day. It used to be the norm, but now it’s a thing of the past.

Most families are busy, so much so that eating meals at home together is very difficult. Like most, our family fits into this category. One way we try to be different is by eating dinner at home daily. I’ll admit that sometimes those family dinners are as simple as sandwiches and chips. But the point is, we have family dinners consistently.

Being together for meals at home is something our kids have come to depend on. It allows our kids to share what’s on their minds and gives us a doorway into their lives. This month, it’s the Basic Training habit we encourage you to adopt. Here are 4 practical ways to make this happen.

Sunday Suppers offers easy recipes for full meals once a week. Get cooking with your family!

Huddle up with your kids tonight and ask: "What's your favorite thing about a family dinner?"

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The Effects of Pornography on Marriage

2014-10-21T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

The effects of porn on marriage are widespread and devastating. Researcher Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. completed a major study of pornography and called it a "quiet family killer." His study found that 56% of divorces had one partner with an obsessive interest in porn.

On average, 40 million Americans regularly view porn, and the overwhelming majority are men. That's the admitted figure. I feel safe writing to you that I believe well over 90% of the men that will read this (including the one writing it) have viewed porn on the internet. It's a simple click away at all times. It is the number one temptation facing all adult men. If allowed to fester in our lives, porn slowly erodes not only our rational senses, but our very souls. A marriage is diseased when outside sexual influences work their way into it, and as those influences progress, the marriage falls deeper and deeper into despair.

This is a difficult topic for us to talk about. It's one of those things that we just keep silent. But the reason we are here, the reason this site exists, is to teach us to strive to become better men. Something as treacherous as pornography undermines everything we try to achieve as husbands and fathers. With that in mind, let's focus on the effects of porn on marriage.

Huddle up with your wife tonight and ask her if she’s ever felt like you weren’t really present during sex.

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How to Be a Healthy Family

2014-10-16T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

Have you woken up and glanced in the mirror only to notice you’ve packed on some extra pounds? You may convince yourself it’s not that bad. Then your phone goes off with a Facebook notification. Your friend from college has tagged you in a “Throw Back Thursday” picture. It’s very noticeable that you were in amazing shape. You look back in the mirror and ask yourself, “What happened?” Now it’s time for the moment of truth... the scale. You step on and see the numbers roll up and realize you’ve gained significant weight in the last six months. You have a decision. You can continue to convince yourself it’s not that bad as you hit the McDonald’s drive-thru on your way to work or you can make a change—lay off the fast food, eat healthy, and exercise. A healthy family starts with you.

If you want to make a change, here are some practical ways.

Huddle up with your wife tonight and ask: “What is the first rule we should start with?”

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9 Reasons Why Getting Old is Awesome

2014-10-07T08:00:00.000+11:00

Posted by AllProDad

"The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy."
-Steve Coogan (Actor and Comedian).

Men, there are no loopholes to cheat time. There is no guy that your buddy knows who will give you a great deal on aging slower. But as the very funny Mr. Coogan astutely points out, there is great benefit to using the situation to your advantage. One of the first things a middle aged man does to fight his situation is try to buy himself out of it. There is no need to waste a portion of the children's college fund on two jet skis and a month long sabbatical in Europe. It's going to be alright.

Getting old is a blessing! As the years progress, so do our levels of expertise and wisdom. I was always told that it's important for a man to be "comfortable in his own skin." Each year brings a man closer to that goal, with time shedding away inhibitions and immature fears, allowing him to mature into a man ready to discover his true purposes.

Getting older is awesome, so check out our 9 reasons as to why we think it is.

Huddle up with your friends and discuss the benefits of getting old.

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Confession: I'm Too Harsh with My Kids

2014-10-02T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

I realized I'm too harsh with my kids. The other day, I was driving with my two kids in the backseat. My daughter started to do things that annoyed my son. He was clearly upset and started laying into her. Immediately, I noticed his harsh words and tone. My daughter was hurt and began to cry. That didn't stop him from continuing. Then I became upset and was about to shout at him to stop when he slammed her with familiar words, "Don't you ever do that again!" He used the same exact words and tone I had used with him before. It was ugly. He was merely acting out what I had modeled to him. Too many times, I respond in frustration rather than good sound guidance.

Parents need to be firm, but harshness can cause significant damage. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes a harsh truth is an appropriate wake-up call for personal growth. This is particularly true when the person continues in repeated misbehavior. However, it is an issue when harshness is the norm. These 4 simple steps helped me change harsh and angry to strong and sound. If you struggle with this, it will help you too.

Huddle up with your kids and ask: “Are there times when I’m too harsh?”

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Mission Summer: Adventures in Dining

2014-09-27T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

I was never really into food before I was married. Consistently throughout my life, I have been made fun of for my pickiness. I’ll even admit that I have the palate of a fifth grader. In my wife’s family, food is love. She opened a whole new world to me. We want to instill that love in our kids. We watch the Food Network and every time we travel we find one of the restaurants profiled.

The adventures into new restaurants and conversations about food have fed our relationship as well as satisfied our taste buds. Combine the love for food with some competitive fun with your family by becoming food critics this summer. Here are fun ways to do it.

Read more.

Huddle up with your family tonight and choose a restaurant or food to try first.

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Instilling the Qualities in Overcoming Adversity

2014-09-22T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

In the darkness surrounding Mount Everest, Beck Weathers was left for dead. Attempting to summit the world’s highest mountain, he was struck with snow blindness. The sun’s UV rays in the thinned air had burnt his cornea. It was May 10, 1996. He was part of an expedition working its way down the mountain when a fast moving and ferocious storm swept up from the valley. It produced hurricane force winds and the temperature dropped to a hundred below zero. The climbers were trapped in a perilous situation.

Out of bottled oxygen, exhausted, and freezing, Weathers’ condition was deteriorating quickly. Making it worse, he had gotten separated from everyone. He sat there waiting. No one was coming for him. He didn’t feel any more pain. The easy thing for him to do would be to drift off to sleep and die.

Suddenly he had a vision. He could see his family in front of him. Coming to his senses he mustered all of the energy he could and started walking. He decided that he was either going to reach the camp or fall off the side of the mountain. Driven by the love for his family, he staggered, stumbled, and fell… but eventually got there.

Life is filled with adversity. These 7 characteristics are commonly found in people that have overcome tremendous adversity. It is important to instill these in our children to prepare them to triumph when trouble rears its head. Read more.

With kids age 12 and above:

Huddle up and watch this 20 minute short film. Then ask, “How did the main character overcome adversity and how did it affect others?”

With kids 11 and below:

Huddle up and ask: “What is something difficult that you have had to deal with?”

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August Basic Training: Have a Real Talk with Your Kids

2014-09-15T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

Sometimes being a dad is just tough. I recently had a real talk with my 8-year-old son about a kid who was trying to bully him. I don’t know if my advice was the best, but I believe it opened the door for deeper conversations in the future.

You may be there, too. The time for a difficult conversation may be now. It could be the “birds and the bees” or it could be about hanging out with the wrong crew. Whatever it is, don’t shy away from it. Step up and have a real talk with your kids by using these great conversation starters.

Huddle up with your kids tonight and use one of these conversation starters.

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Mission Summer: Water Wars II

2014-09-10T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

A friend of mine was enjoying a nice bike ride across campus while in college. Suddenly he was ambushed by a water balloon that hit him square in the face. The force of the impact knocked him off of his bike. The guy who threw the balloon, a floor mate, laughed wildly.

Several weeks later, my friend caught the perpetrator filling another water balloon right below the bathroom window on their floor, five floors up. He ran up to the bathroom looking for something to fill with water to teach the perpetrator a lesson. The only thing he could find was an industrial trash bag. He filled it to the brim with water and tied it off. Recruiting the help of other guys on the floor, they managed to get it to the window. The target was still filling up water balloons below, completely ignorant of the impending doom above.

The ultimate water balloon was released and scored a direct hit. However, it didn’t pop, acting more like a sandbag and flattening him like Frogger. The view from the window showed a huge trash bag with two arms and legs just barely visible. When they ran down to make sure he was okay, they found him physically fine but incredibly confused.

And now, some safe and fun water games you can play with the kids that provide good times and laughter.

Huddle up with your family tonight and choose one of these games to play.

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How to Get Out of a Rut

2014-09-05T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

All men are susceptible to getting into ruts where it’s hard to break free. The definition of a rut is a “fixed and usually boring routine.” They can occur in our marriages, parenting, friendships, careers, and the things we do outside of all of those.

“Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy.” – Henri de Lubac.

What do we do when we realize we’re bogged down in a rut? If life is to be a journey of continued personal growth, then we can’t remain on the same worn paths and expect different results. Oftentimes, our greatest achievements and fondest memories occur at the moments we break out of our comfort zones and embrace change.

Start a fresh path in your life by learning How to Get Out of a Rut.

Huddle up with your wife tonight and ask her if she thinks your marriage is in rut and what she feels might push it forward on a healthier path.

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4 Creative Ways to Date Your Wife When the Kids Go Back to School

2014-08-30T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

If you listen closely, you can probably hear the words, “Yes!” as well as mini-celebrations over the next several days and weeks. Why? Parents all over the country are celebrating as its time for our kids to go back to school!

If your family is like most, including mine, then your summer has been pretty busy. Each year as the summer winds down, we look up and wonder where the time went. The fun of vacations, summer camps, and sports makes summer seem like a blur.

If you aren’t careful, the summer can end and you’ll realize you had a blast, but you didn’t get as much one-on-one time with your wife. Back to school time provides a great opportunity to get some of that lost “adult time” back.

Here are 4 Creative Ways to Date Your Wife When the Kids Go Back to School.

Huddle up with your wife tonight and say: “Once the kids go back to school, let’s find some extra time to spend together.”

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10 Tips for Back to School

2014-08-25T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

Depending on where you live, your kids may already be thinking about school supplies, new schedules, and what the next grade is going to look like. Here are a few tips for back to school so you won't be blindsided by what's coming. Whatever age your children are, you can be a step ahead of the game but also be their number one resource too.

There’s a lot that on-the-ball dads can do to make sure home and school are well connected. From computer hook-ups to being aware of carry-over academic challenges, we can have a game plan in place designed to give everyone involved a solid start and a leg up.

Sometimes the details can appear overwhelming, but there’s a lot we can do now to make life smoother in the Fall. Check out these 10 Tips for Back to School and get ready to look like the hero you are.

Huddle up with your family tonight and have everyone list two things they’re excited for about the new year and one concern that they’re worried about.

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2014-08-21T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

The mid-afternoon sun is scorching through your windshield and mocking all attempts of your AC to contain it. The gas light is on and you didn’t have time to stop and fill up. And the parent in the big SUV just cut the line 5 cars in front of you without resistance. Your blood pressure begins to boil and the crazy meter is rising fast. Welcome to the car line: every parent’s nightmare.

It might be hard to fathom, but there are ways to navigate the car line and keep your sanity. Without question, it is a learn-by-experience situation because no car line is created equal. However, in every case, there are the consistent variables and violations, and when they can be pinpointed and planned for, the experience becomes much more efficient.

Here are The Top 6 Carpool Line Violations and our suggestions on how to deal with them.

Huddle up with other neighborhood parents and form a carpool.

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Principles for Divorced Men

2014-08-12T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

Divorce is a fact of life in America. But are there rules of etiquette when it comes to the aftermath of failed marriages? It is going to be difficult on everyone, especially the children, but there are ways to lessen the blow and let the healing process begin. We can moderate our behavior and words in ways that, at the very least, do not create more trouble.

The relationship we forge post-marriage with our ex, and how much integrity with which we conduct ourselves, will go a long way in determining how the family pulls through. There is hope in making it better by considering this code of honor for the divorced dad.

Read more.

Last chance! Enter to win airfare for 2, two-night hotel stay at the Hyatt, and 2 VIP access tickets to All Pro Dad Live! The giveaway closes at midnight tonight.

Huddle up with your ex-wife and seek to declare a truce.

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Mission Summer: Pass on Your Family Tradition

2014-08-02T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

When I was young my family took an annual trip to the New Jersey shore. One of my favorite things we did was we would get up early and walk to the local donut place. It was one of those mom and pop places where they would let their customers watch them make the donuts. Then we would all choose a donut and walk back home. It was simple, but it was special.

Now that I have kids of my own I am passing on that tradition to them. Unfortunately, my town doesn’t have that great local donut shop. However, it does have a place where we can watch pretzel dogs being made. So every Friday night over the summer we take our kids to get pretzel dogs for dinner. They love it, as did I when I was a kid. What is your favorite summer tradition from childhood?

Here are 11 more traditions you could pass on to your kids.

Huddle up with your family tonight and think of a new tradition.

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5 Attitudes Designed to Help Your Family Live in Peace

2014-07-28T08:00:00.000+10:00

Posted by AllProDad

In 1938, as Europe hurtled toward another world war, Britain’s Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, signed the Munich Agreement. Chamberlain remembered World War One only too well, and he desperately wanted things to be different. He waved his little piece of paper at the airport, and he declared he had secured, “Peace in our time.”

But in avoiding conflict at any cost, the prime minister made a move than virtually guaranteed a more devastating confrontation in the future. Chamberlain did not understand that a peace that counts is anything but passive; he didn’t grasp the truth that active peace brings something intentional to the table, he didn’t remember that real peace has nothing to do with fear.

Likewise, it’s too easy for families to dodge conflict, shut down communication, secure “a little peace and quiet,” and cost themselves the opportunity for coming together. Peace is not a negative value; it’s not the absence of anything. No, it turns out to be a lot more proactive than that.

5 Attitudes Designed to Help Your Family Live in Peace.

Huddle up with your family tonight and discuss what it means to be a peacemaker.

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Crossway North Daily Devotional

Solid Advice for Bratty Kids

10 Hardships in Marriage and How to Overcome Them

10 IDEAS FOR WINTER DATES WITH YOUR WIFE

7 Common Double Standards in Marriage

5 Financial Red Flags That Can Sink Your Family

Do You Have Resilient Children? Think Again.

3 Ways to Fall Back in Love with Your Wife

Are You Getting Played by Your Kids?

Confrontin​g Crazy Sports Parents

4 Tips for Having a Family Dinner

The Effects of Pornograph​y on Marriage

How to Be a Healthy Family

9 Reasons Why Getting Old is Awesome

Confession​: I'm Too Harsh with My Kids

Mission Summer: Adventures in Dining

Instilling the Qualities in Overcoming Adversity

August Basic Training: Have a Real Talk with Your Kids

Mission Summer: Water Wars II

How to Get Out of a Rut

4 Creative Ways to Date Your Wife When the Kids Go Back to School

10 Tips for Back to School

Principles for Divorced Men

Mission Summer: Pass on Your Family Tradition

5 Attitudes Designed to Help Your Family Live in Peace

Confronting Crazy Sports Parents

The Effects of Pornography on Marriage

Confession: I'm Too Harsh with My Kids