Now, I’m not talking about the stuff you need. I bought some hangars and wasp and hornet spray over the weekend - and while I was tempted by other Wal-Mart crap I didn’t buy it.

Need a quick fix? Go shopping. Push the cart around your favorite store. Put a bunch of stuff you like in the cart. Push it up to the front of the store. Now leave it. Don’t go through the check out. All the fun of shopping and none of the spending.

Have trouble not purchasing? Don’t go out. Stay home. Watch TV. Clean out a closet - and discover lots of other cheap crap you did buy. Donate it to a thrift store so someone else can buy it. Read a book…one that you got from the library.

Why wouldn’t you want to hold your baby? Babies smell good. They’re cute and funny. And when I have one, all I want to do is hold it - and when I can’t, I bundle her into a sling and carry her around. And when I can’t do that (like when taking a shower), I make sure that someone else who loves her is holding her. My God, they are only this little once - and it goes by so fast. Once it’s gone , it’s gone - so don’t waste it strapping them into car seats (unless they are actually in the car) or swings! Hold your baby! When they’re teenagers, they won’t let you near them ( and really, they’re not as cuddly as teens, I have two teens and a “tween” and I can verify this fact)!

1. Baby wearing is convenient. I’m wearing and breastfeeding my baby right now - even as I write this! Really? Yes. Really. I can do almost anything I need to do while wearing my 3.5 month old baby…except the dishes, but I find other reasons not to do them too!

2.Babies who are worn in slings or carried cry less. There is a lot of anthropological and scientific evidence of this fact, but I’ve had six babies, so far, and of the six the only colicky, constantly crying baby I had was the one I was encouraged to put down all of the time! That was my first baby. Since then, I have either held or worn all of my babies. Kiara - the latest - gets complimented all the time on being such a good baby. I think they mean quiet. And she is. During basketball games or other outings, she just sits in my lap and looks around. She rarely fusses. In fact, when she does scream, it’s usually because I’ve put her in the car seat for a trip.

3. Babies who are worn, learn more. Yes, another scientific fact! Babies who are worn spend more of their time in quiet alertness. Because your baby’s needs are being met, she doesn’t need to spend so much time looking for attention and therefore can sort out the puzzle around her - learning to adapt to the environment, seeking things to look at, etc. Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditory alertness.

4. Worn babies are smarter. OK, this might just sound like I’m bragging, but this has been proven true outside my own household! Because the mother or father of a worn baby acts like a filter, the baby is guarded from unwanted stimuli that can bombard their wee nervous systems. They also develop their ability to listen very early and therefore their language and development abilities are cultivated earlier. For example, if there is a loud clanging in the house (the toddler knocks the pots off the dish rack), a baby alone in a swing or seat will likely respond by startling and then crying. A baby in a sling, next to her mother, will still startle, but because mother is nearby, will see it’s just a noise and that she is still fine - quickly soothed by mom. The startle then becomes a learning experience that the baby is not so afraid of the next time….rather than being “rattled” every time a loud noise occurs.

5. Worn babies sleep more! Especially in the beginning. I’ve rarely felt sleep deprived, even as a new mother…and when I have it’s usually because I spend the night excitedly gazing at my new love. Wearing a baby keeps them close - think of yourself like a Kangaroo. There is a great saying - nine months in and nine months out. Thinking of the gestational period of the baby as being 18 months makes it easier to reconcile.

I felt really close to my own parents for a really long time. I used to think that if I hadn’t been born to my parents, I would have chosen them to hang out with. I still think that sometimes. Although those times are now very rare.

As I write this, I have a newborn in my lap snoozing away and a toddler laying her pretty blond head on my leg, waiting for her noodles to cook. And it makes me sad to think that not only will my own parents never share in the joy of these lovely young children - my youngest bundles of joy will probably never meet them - and I may never see them again.

I expected too much, I think. I expected that my parents would come for visits and be grandparents. But even when we only lived three hours away, we still only saw them once a year - and only if I initiated it. As anyone who has read my book Without a Net can tell you - I was the black sheep of the family. I was the not normal one. I got married and had kids starting at the age of 19. The only job I ever really wanted was that of mom - and that was unacceptable to my family. I was mocked mercilessly for choosing kids over career. Even my own mother - herself a stay-at-home mom - was patient but said painful things after an evening of drinking.

But I always loved being maternal - even if I wouldn’t admit to it at 15 or 16. My parents, busy with their new careers and tired of being parents, had me purchase the Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers for my much younger sisters. I loved playing mom to them: taking them to the kids’ movies, hanging out with them, you name it.

And when I was married and pregnant at 19, my parents graciously let me stay at their house with my new husband (I was scared and wanted company). But that’s where the graciousness ended. Soon after giving birth, the talk of jobs (for me, my husband was employed) and daycare and going back to college all began again. I just wanted to stay home with my baby. After we found an apartment everything was good again and my parents once again wanted to be grandparents - cuddling my new son, buying him gifts - you name it.

But I was reminded often not to even think about asking them to babysit, because “I had all those children, I could take care of them.” And I don’t mean babysit like all day day care - I mean, not even a dinner out alone with my husband!

John and I never had a weekend alone until his father and step-mother came and took all the kids away one weekend for my birthday. We haven’t been alone overnight since!:-)

And that’s about where it all ended. By the time I was pregnant with Alex, I became the running family joke and by the final three came along it was always, “don’t you know what causes that yet?” And then there were the complaints about how much Christmas and birthday gifts cost for all of my children…even though I always just asked that they maybe send a card (because my kids love mail) instead of presents.

I couldn’t even get them to stop smoking in the house if we came over for a visit. “It’s my house, I’ll smoke if I want.”

What hurts the most is when they even forget to call on one of the children’s birthdays. I used to send them reminders by email. But even then, they didn’t remember always, so I gave up. They always remembered the oldest kids - the ones they “liked.” But it almost seemed like any child I had with John, my second husband, was not included.

It saddens me because I have very fond memories of my own grandmothers. My father’s mother was much more active in my life and always remembered a birthday or holiday - even though she didn’t have a lot of money. She was famous for her wonderful chocolates and would take me to all sorts of places - including the bar where she was a bartender. She was great fun. When I was a page in the U.S.Senate, she often brought me and my friends all kinds of food from the store - and took me back to her apartment, letting me sleep until noon and eat whatever I wanted. She even chaperoned a Rod Stewart concert for us - Rod Stewart was her favorite performer.

When I had my first two kids, she came to my apartment twice a week and took us out to the store or just to McDonald’s. I didn’t have a car, so it was a welcome respite. I drove for her, but when she would drive, it cracked me up to hear her yell at the old people driving around - telling them to turn their licenses in!

Both of my grandmothers remembered every birthday and I even received cards with a dollar or two enclosed for every holiday - including Halloween and Easter. I thought that’s what grandparents did. That’s the kind of grandparent I want to be.

But, because of other stuff I won’t get into just yet, I have been shunned from my family - and because of it, poor little Seamus didn’t even rate a card - or a phone call - upon his birth. It makes me cry to write it down. I am so overwhelmed with sadness by the shunning from people I once loved so dearly that I can’t even fathom it. My little brain can’t process the information except to write it out.

Fortunately, my children are not lacking grandparents. Now that we are back in Wisconsin, we have John’s dad and his wife who are wonderful grandparents. Even when we were in Vermont, they never forgot a birthday! Now that we are here, they try and come up (we are about 2 hours up the road) around every child’s birthday and do all the grandparenty stuff that kids need.

I was going to try and make an all out blitz and beg for them to forgive me for my failings and to please pay attention to their grandchildren, but I don’t know. I mean, while I have been angry at my children - and my 17 year old has been particularly challenging - I can’t fathom just cutting them off. I can’t imagine just being happy to never speak to them - or any children they have - ever again. I so enjoy my children. Just them being around makes me a happier (98 percent of the time!:-) person. To shun them or cut them out of my life for whatever reason seems so impossible. Even Matt (the 17 year old) who said some horrible, horrible things to me last year and was being manipulative and downright mean, has come around and we have a new peace between us. I always tell him I love him and that I miss him. I want him to know always that he is loved and has a home with us.

I’m a forgive and forget kind of person. I can’t hold a grudge for very long - like 10 minutes tops. So to have grudges held against me is painful. But again, it’s not about me. It’s about the kids - and I hate that they are punished for my perceived failings as a person.

Like the woman in the essay on Babble, I too wanted to just cut the cord and never speak to my parents again - or let my children speak to them. I am refusing any and all gifts from them because I believe that if one is “remembered” on a birthday, they all should be. My husband actually suggested that he buy extra presents for them on their birthdays and at Christmas so that they wouldn’t feel ignored, but I don’t know if that’s a great idea. I simply told all of my kids who are old enough to email that they could continue to communicate with their grandparents either that way or by phone or whatever, but that I thought it was unfair that only some of them received gifts. The older ones thought that was fair. I was impressed by their understanding and loyalty to younger siblings.

In the end, I guess I can’t force any type of relationship on either my parents or my children with them. My parents have chosen to not pursue a relationship with me. Perhaps one day that will change, but I can’t force it. I’ve tried, it doesn’t work. I pray that my own children will never know this type of sadness. I hope more never to cause it.

Here are, then, my top five ways to make sure an editor never reads anything your write!

1. Spell the editor’s name wrong - also use the wrong address, bad punctuation and lowercase letters only in your email.

Want to be impressive? Utilize your initial email like a business letter. Put your address in the header; put the date in the upper right hand corner; address the person you are emailing with “Dear ….”

2. Don’t state your purpose right away. Open your letter with a lot of information about yourself that isn’t relevant and then load up the letter with lots of links to articles you’ve written that aren’t at all relevant to the topic you are proposing.

3. Don’t study the publication before offering to write for it. In fact, send the same query letter that you’ve sent to five or 10 magazines and don’t tailor the letters at all to the publication.

4. Do include a list of other places that you’ve submitted the article idea to that have rejected it. This will guarantee you a freelance offer! In fact, you might also want to pepper your letter with references to how long you’ve worked on the article, how many of your friends think it’s a great idea or how much you expect to be paid for said article.

5. Do insult the editor if he or she doesn’t believe that this article your proposing is the best idea they’ve seen in a long time. For example, I’ve seen letters that end like this: “If you don’t think that I’m the most qualified person to write for your publication then I’ll be happy to take my work elsewhere.” My response? “Please do!”

You know all that lint in your lint screen? Yup - it’s your clothes, falling apart, right in front of your eyes! Who knows - maybe that’s where the other sock goes to die…it doesn’t disappear, it just disintegrates into lint!

Hanging your laundry is also a great way to “bleach” your clothes without using bleach. I have hung stained whites on the line and been surprised to find them bleached and stain-free when I come back to take them down later in the day. The sun has bleached - and sanitized - my clothes for me and it didn’t cost a dime.

This is also a great way to keep cloth diapers fresh and clean.

Have a frugal and green tip? Email Michelle!

From Jan Tritten - At Midwifery Today…

1. A good midwife is worth her weight in gold if you want a good birth experience. Shop carefully and pay her well.
2. Thou shalt eat a healthy diet: 80-100 grams of protein, salt food to taste and lots of fruits and veggies and eat seafood; and be happy.
3. Trust Birth, trust yourself. You can do it.
4. Prenatal care is what you do between your visits to your care provider. Eat well. Love lots. Reduce stress. Your baby will appreciate it!
5. Homebirth: the gold standard. If possible, stay home for your birth. Birth centers are a good option, too. When necessary, hospitals save lives.
6. Avoid unnecessary technology like the plague. It may be the plague - including ultrasound (Dopplers and scans) during pregnancy!
7. Just say no to drugs and intervention.
8. Your body is perfectly designed to carry, grow and birth your baby. If that isn’t enough, your body can feed your baby too!!
9. Birth Works; let it. Know that you can do it. It is an awesome and important step to motherhood -  a miracle you can achieve.
10. Thou shalt breastfeed your baby for as long as possible. The health benefit for motherbaby is unsurpassed by any other act. Breast is best.

Jan Tritten

Midwifery Today

There are some great things about being pregnant. One of my favorites is being awoken in the morning by the stretching and kicking of the baby inside. And while it’s not always the most comfortable feeling, when the baby is born, I miss that feeling. I love to sit on the couch at night and watch the baby move around. As silly as it sounds, I always feel a little empty (literally!) after the baby is born - although I won’t miss swollen ankles and trying to turn over in bed.

Since I had my third child, everyone asks me if this is the last one. I often wonder myself. I go through bouts of “I’ve had it, I’m getting my tubes tied this time!” Usually this happens after a particularly disappointing day. Yesterday, Father’s Day, was such a day. We had a few very hot days in a row and everyone has been grouchy. We suffered a lot from the “gimmes” and “I wants.” And of course, I had an idea in my head of how Father’s Day was going to go! So, when it became a bickering free for all between the 11, 13 and 4 year olds - I almost lost my mind - and started to wonder what on earth I was thinking when I decided to have all of these kids!

Of course, everything looks better in the morning and with less swollen ankles and a little rest in my pocket, I’m once again happy to have so many - even though I still don’t know why I like having such a big family, or whether or not this is my last!

Bye Bye House!

So, I found a really beautiful house online one afternoon while preparing for our move from Vermont to Green Bay. It had everything I wanted in a house - beautiful new appliances, four bedrooms, a sunroom, a large backyard - you name it. I had never had a truly beautiful bathroom before - and this one, though small, fit the bill. After years of living in fixer-uppers and that time in the car…well, I thought I had really found my first “real” house.

Because we were moving so far and into a neighborhood I had never lived in before (we had lived in Green Bay before), we decided to take the rent with the option to buy rather than just buy it, sight unseen. Even though we had sent several friends through the house to check it out, I still didn’t want to commit a huge sum of money to a house I had never seen!

So we sent away a down payment, the deposit, the rent, and signed all kinds of papers for the option. We loaded up our trucks and headed down the road. The house was everything we hoped it would be. While it did have a few quirks, it was exactly what I wanted - and much bigger than I had thought. I was very happy with my choice…and knew that I would end up buying it. I made all sorts of plans, talked with mortgage brokers, got the kids established in school and went about being pregnant and living my life.

That’s when we started getting weird phone calls. We started receiving phone calls about past debt and debt collections to the owner of the house. Then the owner of the house started to call my husband at work and demanded payments for arbitrary things that weren’t in the lease. Also, she started making up strange dates to have things paid by. We were skeptical and suspicious. She was acting like a person who needed money fast. While I wish I could say that I did a background check on her before we rented, I did not. I never thought I needed to do a background check on a landlord…but I did - and the results were revealing. A bankruptcy was in the works for her - and her mortgage on the house was through a sub-prime lender and it was interest-only. In fact, her asking price for the house was $50,000 more than the assessment on the house - and all of a sudden she was unwilling to negotiate lower - even though our contract said we could pay fair market value for the house.

In our neighborhood, fair market value, was quite a bit less than her asking price - and there were many homes for sale and rent in the area.

I just kept paying the rent - and hoping that things would sort themselves out. Then we got “the letter” telling us we had two weeks to vacate the premises. Why? Not because we had done anything wrong - but because our landlord was now in foreclosure.

What a slap in the face! I had heard stories of this happening to people, but I thought they were flukes. Really, there is very little a renter can do, unless a state legislature has mandated that banks assume the leases of people who are renting foreclosures. At the mercy of the powers that be, and unable to get back any of our security deposit or down payment, we scraped together another deposit and first month’s rent on a different house.

I cried for quite a while. I thought I had found the house I was going to live in for the rest of my life - or at least a lot of it - and I almost ended up with six kids out on the sidewalk again. I actually tried to picture how the logistics of living in my truck would go!

Fortunately, we did find a new place…in the neighboring college town, on the river, and in a school district that’s 100 percent better than the one we were in. Unfortunately, the house is UGLY and I have a lot of work to do! But, that’s OK, I was getting spoiled by all that luxury living - and there isn’t nearly as much pressure to keep a fixer-upper spotless with almost seven kids (oh yeah, and my teenage son’s best friend) as there was to keep the old “perfect” house clean. Just sweeping and mopping around here makes me look like Martha Stewart. It’s big though - with lots of bedrooms and a nice sunny deck. I am still very fortunate. I have beautiful, healthy children and a great husband who still has a job. Our ugly foreclosure story did not turn out as ugly as some.

I may not have the richest house on the block anymore - but I’m still the richest girl in town!

A couple of quick renting tips:

1. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Rent with option is fine - but don’t send any more money for “deposit” than what’s required (first month’s rent and security). You are not yet buying the house - you only have the first right of refusal when it goes up for sale.

2. Don’t give the landlord any more money each month than you’ve agreed to pay. Save the extra towards a down payment if you want to eventually buy the house.

3. Do a background check. Your potential landlord is going to do one on you, after all. Go to intellius.com and find out about who you are renting the house from. Also, go to your local county government website and make sure the taxes are up to date - and find out for sure whose name is on the deed!

We are a pizza-eating family. We love it. If you can put it on a pizza - we will…in fact, we will put a lot of things on a pizza that some people have never heard of - like BBQ chicken and pork!

Pizza is the ultimate fast food in our culture. And while I will eat almost anything called a “pizza” - I won’t always like it. I also often have the feeling that I could have saved myself $20 if I had just put the extra effort into making pizza myself. The funny thing is, that making your own pizza doesn’t really take that much effort.

I make my own dough, because I like a thick doughy crust with bubbles in it. My husband, on the other hand, likes a thin crust pizza - rolled flat and loaded up. For me, pizza is about the dough. For him, it’s about the stuff. But we are big fans of each other’s pizza!

This dough recipe: http://organicallyinclined.org/2008/11/07/my-homemade-bread-recipe-also-pizza-dough-and-garlic-knots/ will make a great versatile dough for whichever style you like.

Of course, a “regular” pizza consists of tomato sauce, mozzerella cheese and whatever you like on top. But you can do a lot by mixing it up a bit. Have some leftover chicken? Use BBQ sauce as your base and cheddar mixed with mozzerella. Top it off with the leftover chicken, pulled into bite-size pieces.

Want a Greek-inspired pizza? Try feta, spinach, Kalamata olives and a little red onion.

How about a white pizza? Whip up some ricotta with some basil (OK, not truly white) and chopped garlic. Spread that on your pizza dough and then add your mozz and provolone mix. I actually really like this pizza with fresh mushrooms and big hunks of roasted garlic and Vidalia onions…but that’s just me.

My daughter loves Hawaiian pizza. This pizza is best made with peanut butter on the dough first (yes, peanut butter…just try it), then a little sauce. Place pineapple rings and thin slices of ham (your choice in style, I like Canadian bacon for this pizza) all around - layer it up nice! Add sweet onion to your taste…

Pizzas are fun and cheap to make. I love to make little rounds for the kids to pound out and decorate themselves. We also like to give pizza tossing classes to all the kids friends! The floor gets pretty messy - but it’s great fun!

I’m not a huge coupon fan - I often find that the generic version is cheaper, but this one seemed like a good deal. If you buy a 13.5 lb. or larger bag of Kingsford Charcoal plus one of the following brands: KC Masterpiece, Hidden Valley Ranch, Vlasic Pickles or Relish and Wet Ones - you get $6 off a pork item. My suggestion for the way to make the most of this coupon? Buy a nice pork roast or tenderloin (it will feed a many) and a packet of the dry HVR dressing to use in a marinade! The coupon doesn’t expire until the end of the year - so don’t worry about hurrying! Go to Gatherroundthegrill.com

Learn to Live Large - on very little! One of my favorite blogs is Wisebread.com. They are a blog compendium of frugal and finance writers. I have found some great deals there as well as helpful hints. They have written a new book and I have been pleased to receive a copy for review (which I will write and post soon). However, if you want to check it out before my review (it’s a good review, don’t worry), they will give you $15 in an Ebates account for buying it at Amazon.com. Pretty sweet! The book, then, is essentially free - and it’s a regular book - not an eBook or a “booklet.” Go here to learn more!

Free Quiznos sammie when you sign-up for their club! Why not? I like a decent sandwich!

If you like your kids to take part in summer reading programs, then Barnes and Noble might have a good one for you. They are offering all children who take part in their summer reading program, a free children’s book.

I might have my kids participate, but really, the best free books are at the library!