Otaku But Gangsta

Borderlands 2, How You Doin'?

Ernie Deeb — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 16:20:54 +0000

Borderlands 2 is making some noise with not only a release date, but a trailer to celebrate the release date. It doesn't have to make sense, if it's awesome. And this is most definitely awesome.

I was pretty late to the party with Borderlands, not playing until mid-2011 (judge all you want,) but after finally experiencing the dopeness I'm thinking Borderlands 2 is going to be a day 1 get. Dual wielding heavy machine guns? Fat woman cleavage? Ninja? A robot doing the robot? BAZILLIONDIER? Sold.

Retro City Rampaging Across All Formats!

Ernie Deeb — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:11:33 +0000

Well, almost all formats.

Remember that update that Retro City Rampage creator Brian Provinciano promised us last week? It came today, and it is a good one. No longer will you be confined to experiencing the throwback madness on XBLA and WiiWare, but now also on PlayStation Vita, PlayStation Network, and of course Steam. How's that for a doozy? And the Steam version is chock full of bonus goodies that will make any multi-console owner lean toward picking up that PC copy. Feel the burn, iOS/Android gamers!

So sit back, relax, watch this latest trailer - which is another frantic ode to the 80s that RCR has just about mastered - and wait for the spring release date. Preorder that bitch right here!

Akuma Comes to Street Fighter X Tekken in a Big Way

Ernie Deeb — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 22:44:58 +0000

It ain't hard to tell. I excel, then prevail. It also ain't hard to tell that I have fallen out of love with Capcom recently, mostly due to their business practices rather than the games they develop and publish. After having told myself I would swear off any purchases of new Capcom games in 2012 (used games are fair play), they had to go and release this Street Fighter X Tekken trailer - in which Akuma goes bat-shit. Also M. Bison, Ogre, etc, etc.

Seriously, this finishing move takes all of Akuma's prior super moves and drops a hot load on them. I liked Street Fighter X Tekken, but I didn't want to buy it new out of principle. But damn, this just done changed my mind. Good job Capcom. I will buy even though you'll release Hyper Super Street Fighter X Tekken Arcade Edition before 2013 rolls around.

Let's see Tokido pull this one off at the next EVO.

Soul Calibur V: Creating a Solid Fighter

Ernie Deeb — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:42:35 +0000

Soul Calibur IV is one of the only non-classic fighting games that I was playing as recently as late 2011 - 3 years after its release. Wait, does that make it a classic? Er, well instead of splitting grey hairs, let's get back to the matter at hand. Soul Calibur V has supplanted its predecessor, but how much time should you invest in this one, if any?

Soul Calibur V is set 17 years after the conclusion of the fourth. The old Nightmare has been defeated, and the Soul Edge has chosen a new master, much like the Soul Calibur has chosen one other than the ageless beast, Siegfried. The story follows the adventure of Sophitia's offspring, Patroklos and Pyrrha, as they quest against the Edge in the name of the Calibur, and in the name of revenge.

Ezio is immediately the most fitting bonus character added to a Soul Calibur title

Put simply, the story mode is atrocious. The tale is blandly told with voices layered over black-on-parchment sketches that aren't even fit for concept art. There's some sort of world map to make it seem like the player has a destination and purpose, though there is no real reason for it, the battles move forward very linearly. Every now and then the player is rewarded with a cut-scene for their hard work, which seems like more of a thrown bone than anything else. Fortunately, the fight mechanics are tight and tuned, and the battles hot and heavy.

The game has drastically changed in many ways, except for perhaps Ivy's bust size. Gone are many of the characters known and loved by the series' fan base, replaced with alternates of similar styles. Some old favorites stand the test of time, others are gone completely. Most notably, Kilik is replaced by a younger Kali Yuga disciple, Xiba. Though Kilik makes a special appearance as a hidden character, he is without pole arm, and instead uses the weapon shifting style of his mentor, the Edge Master. The complete omission of my all-time favorite style, that of Hwang/Assassin/Yun Seong is what really hurts most.

Mitsurugi remains, because the grizzled Japanese samurai is irreplaceable

Questionable design choices aside, I'm still captured by the combat. In my arcade adventures and versus violence, I grit teeth, shouted at the screen, and attempted to snap my controller on quite a few occasions. Mostly to clean, close battles as opposed to computer cheese and frustrating controls. The fighters are responsive to input commands and combos, as tricky as they are. The biggest change is perhaps the ease of firing off Critical Edge 'super' moves. Whereas they previously required a bit of skill and a bit of chance to open the window for a Critical Finish, now all you need is a full Critical Edge gauge and, boom, instant gratification at the expense of your opponent's life. As with many true 3D brawlers, command sequences are king and memorization is the queen, so the uninitiated should not expect to be pro from the go. Even with an inhumane amount of hours logged in SC4, it still took me some time to reacquaint myself with SC5's action. Button-masher beware!

My excitement for Soul Calibur V lie directly tied to the revamped character creation tools, the very thing that kept me locked on Soul Calibur IV for so long. This time around the tools do not disappoint, with the ability to add numerous patterns to clothing, position pre-made labels, and tack on extra bits of equipment just about anywhere on your characters person. Make yourself and your friends, make your favorite movie stars, hell, even make fighters from other games. Just about anything is possible. The selection of faces leaves a bit to be desired, but the other customization options are so robust, I'm pretty sure the avid creator will not mind too much. Unfortunately, back is the limit of 50 characters, which I probably shouldn't be bitching about, but here I am doing it anyway. Creation is as addictive as huffing spray paint, so if you're anything like me you'll hit that 50 character limit in no time flat.

Ronald McDonald, created by the boys at Japanese blog Esuteru

Offline modes are a bit limited, with the usual story, arcade, training, and versus fares. Online multiplayer on the other hand, has quite a few interesting option for the brave digital warrior. Player matches allow you to jump in a room of up to 8 people, with rotating battles where the winner stays on, and all others become a voyeur. You can voice and text chat with everyone else in the room, so be sure you cheer against the guy who just kicked your ass. Ranked matches pit you one-on-one, where victory leads to a load of player points for increasing your rank, and a loss nets you comparatively less. The most interesting online mode is probably Global Colosseo, where you can choose one of an assortment of regional lobbies, which house dozens of fighters. Once settled, you can see an overview of all players in the coliseum, and from there you select a specific player to battle, or drop your name into a digital hat, letting the system match you up against a random who has done the same. It's a neat take on instant action, and probably the mode I enjoyed most, since I rarely had to wait to take on my next opponent, who most times was a created character that looked no where as lovingly detailed as my own.

The story of Soul Calibur V doesn't make much sense, nor does it need to. The engine is tight, the action is smooth and deliberately paced, beneficial of those who train themselves to be the best, rather than button mashing. While series fans may be rebuffed at the exclusion of some old favorites - give me Hwang/Yun Seong as DLC! - the new additions fill the gaps well enough. If you're a crafty creator, and love going to war with the models of your machination, Soul Calibur V's character creation is second only to wrestling games in the fighting genre. It's enough to keep me entranced, and I feel is a fine 60 bucks spent, especially if you're playing with a group of friends or constantly hitting the online stage.

The Score: 8 outta 10 Blasters!

Shank 2: A Probable Get

Ernie Deeb — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:11:54 +0000

In case you may not have heard, Shank 2 has released! As I toil away here at work, I am imagining what it would be like to put on the bandana (and chainsaw, and machete, and shotgun, and pistols, etc) again. Just the thought is making me glow like a New Jersian guido.

The original Shank was a wild romp of blood, weaponry, and style; three things that rank highly on my food chart of consumable dopeness. Look for a review up here very soon, but in the mean time you should probably play it yourself. With better visuals, more ridiculous scenarios, outrageous costumes, and tightened gameplay, I think Shank 2 will be worth your $10.

Retro City Rampage Release Reveal Date?

Ernie Deeb — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:53:40 +0000

Brian Provinciano is a fucking beast. As the man behind my much hyped Retro City Rampage, dude has been putting in work in a multitude of ways. Though there is one particular bone he hasn't thrown us, a release date. Brian and Phil Fish of indie platformer Fez are probably sitting at a wooden roundtable adorned with goats heads, candles, and naked virgins, both cackling madly as they keep their fan bases dangling in suspense.

This here is the latest teaser for Retro City Rampage. It doesn't feature anything new or amazing aside from the 8-bit 1980's lunacy that originally suckered us in. It does, however, have a big 'but' that would make Sir Mix-a-lot pop wood. A very committed non-committal date of February 20, less than two weeks from today.

What could it be? A release date? A reveal of the release date? An incredible trolling? I have no clue, but I am freaking PUMPED for it. This vein on my forehead is ready to burst! Damn you, your beastly ways, and the hemorrhage you are about to cause me, Brian Provinciano!

Edit: A lot of people would be extremely happy to have a Steam version of RCR announced on two-twenty, and you know what? I don't blame them. That would be an awesome addition to this already amazing appearing title.

It's Not Real To Me, Dammit!

Ernie Deeb — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:53:03 +0000

Written by Jimmy Donofrio

Hey THQ, let’s be real, okay?

Professional wrestling is fake.

That’s not a bad thing, millions of people all around the world love professional wrestling – myself included. But we’re not morons. With the genesis of the “Reality Era”, where guys like CM Punk and Chris Jericho sit atop the business with gimmicks that laugh in the face of kayfabe, it’s time that our wrestling video games followed suit.

WWE ’12 was supposed be a refreshing change from the formula that THQ has trotted out since 2004. Well, that was the idea, at least. Realistically, wrestling games haven’t changed all that much since the days of the original Playstation, and there hasn’t been a truly great wrestling video game since the incredible WWF No Mercy for Nintendo 64.

The WWE has changed the way they do business in the last year. They’ve let WWE Champion CM Punk shoot from the hip instead of from some script written by Michael P.S. Hayes. They strapped the various belts on true fan favorites, guys that have clawed their way to the top through the independent circuits, instead of the manufactured big men of yore. There’s a little more transparency on our tv from week to week, and it should translate in our games, as well.

So here is what I’m proposing, THQ: Let’s forget the silly “Road To Wrestlemania” or “WWE Universe” game modes, and give WWE ’13 the kind of Career Mode that truly represents professional wrestling and the plight of your everyday WWE Superstar.

Sheamus wrestled in Europe for 5 years before getting his break in '07. Two years later, he won his first WWE Championship.

1. Instead of letting the player be in control of a wrestler, let the player be in control of a performer (sure, this changes the game from a “fighting” affair to more of a “roleplaying” one, but isn’t that what professional wrestling has been forever? It’s really just a stage play with steel chairs). You’ll still be able to punch, kick, run, grapple, etc., but you’ll also be able to sell a hit, control the flow of a match, and put over another wrestler if need be.

2. In turn, you need to change the goal of each match. A WWE Superstar doesn’t go out to the ring to win, he goes out to tell a story. So lay out each match ahead of time, with a timeline on the screen, marking off certain spots that need to be hit and a predetermined winner. If you’re a good wrestler, you’ll hit your spots, tell your story and extend your career. As your career progresses, your matches will become more complex…

3. …and you’ll run the gamut of cliché wrestling storylines. The difficulty: sometimes you have to be the loser. Sometimes you need to get squashed. Sometimes you need to put over a weaker wrestler to show you've got the goods, even when you're supposed to be bad. And, in turn, you’ll get your big breaks. Let’s pull back the curtain and delve into the backstage atmosphere that creates this multi-million dollar product.

4. This isn’t going to be like those NFL Head Coach or MLB Front Office Manager abortions. There will still be ridiculous entrances, outrageous matches, larger-than-life personalities on full display. There will still be wrestling. The context, however, is completely different: you want to actually put on a great show instead of just emulating one.

This, of course, is a very rough outline. The point is, the wrestling business isn’t some kind of big secret – we know it’s fake, and we love it anyway. We know how hard these guys work, and we love them because of it. THQ, give us a game that does both the industry and its superstars justice. We play Madden to be a football player, Zelda to be a Hylian warrior, a whole host of games to be some kind of space marine guy. When we play WWE ’13, let us, finally, be a professional wrestler.

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan is an indy wrestling legend, and has jobbed on almost every continent, and even a few back yards.

Dustforce: Sweep the Ledge, Johnny

Ernie Deeb — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:16:37 +0000

The Independent game scene is a frequent mess, but here is Dustforce to clean things up in this early part of 2012. Half tricky platformer and half high-school janitor, Dustforce has the allure of simplicity skinned over a core of wicked difficulty by way of its demand for perfection. Wanna know why you would play a game about cleaning?

Dustforce sees you take control of one of four neat freaks, who can be likened to the cleanest of ninjas. While the game controls fairly simply, it seems different characters have different difficulty curves. The two broom pushers are the easiest to control, thanks to their balance of range and speed. The young feather duster is fast with limited range, and the old vacuum slow with good range. You'll find a favorite player to clean the town with, but I suggest staying away from the latter pair until you're used to the game.

Dustforce's physics are a tricky beast. As nimble as each of the characters are, they generally have a bit of heft to them, which takes some adjusting. Coming from Super Meat Boy, where the skinless Boy wonder is light as a feather and incredibly responsive, Dustforce's heroes feel almost sluggish. I say this in the best possible way, as the weight doesn't at all detract from the experience. Platforming fans with less twitch reflex will probably love that about this game. Aside from running and jumping, your street sweeper can double jump, air and ground dash, and do things like run up walls and run on ceilings in brief spurts. You have two buttons for light and heavy attack, and when landed, attacks can allow you to continue chaining forward moving maneuvers to assure you complete the stage with the best time possible. As you traverse trash-tinged terrain and dispose of soiled assailants - who reveal creatures of good when dispatched a la Sonic the Hedgehog - you build a combo meter that grants you a burst ability when filled. This ability clears your surroundings of all pollution and enemies, useful for ending stages due to its quick work and the sick looking slow-mo effect.

The game is pretty much a continued rush to set new scores. Your performance is graded on completion; how much dust you force away, and finesse; some weird combination of speed, combo, and life. While any old score will allow you to advance, certain stages will only become unlocked upon achieving the elusive S rank for both completion and finesse. I can easily say you will not double S many stages, Dustforce is HARD. It demands perfection. Much like my my current favorite platformer Super Meat Boy, you will fail often. Though where failure in SMB was usually brought about by an untimely death, in Dustforce if you so much as lose pace when defeating a slew of slime-slicked scientists, the precious double S rank will be swept away. Be prepared to "miss a spot" on more than one occasion, where restarting the entire level is a better idea than backtracking if only for 3 seconds.

The soundtrack belies Dustforce's difficulty, as most of the stages are set to chill, downbeat electro tunes that would have your head nodding if you weren't so fucking focused on cleaning everything in broom's reach. I really hope Hitbox team puts out a soundtrack before Dustforce's eventual Humble Bundle inclusion, because I could always use the fix of a mellow vibe.

There's not much bad with this clean indie title, though for reasons undefined my beast PC struggled to run the game full screen at max settings. I wanted to do a bit of video capturing to detail my beautiful struggles, but alas, Dustforce wasn't having it. The frame rate issues that arose in full screen with high settings, while video capping are not conducive to a platformer where one wrong move is the difference between invincibility and indignity. Though it would be unfair to pin this on Dustforce at all, as the issue could be attributed to motherboard and graphics card incompatibilities, even though both items are brand new. Damn you AMD! At this time the issue is still unsolved, however good on Hitbox Team for owning up to it and keeping the community abreast of an eventual fix on the Steam forum.

Dustforce is a fun, addictive, sleek and slick adventure in the world of cleaning. Like the underrated Burning Rangers, Dustforce has taken a topic almost unsuitable for a game, slapped a bit of style and vibrance on it, and pushed out a sleeper hit. Though the game can be played through relatively quickly, trying to attain SS ranks to unlock new stages will have the perfectionist in me picking up the broom again and again until the entire world is free of mess. The impending user created content hub will make absolutely sure of that, if nothing else.

The Price: $9.99 on Steam
The Score: 8 outta 10 Blasters!

-

Ernie Deeb — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:38:11 +0000

Don't Brush Off Dustforce

Ernie Deeb — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:29:00 +0000

Dear readers,

I apologize for not taking the time out of my schedule sooner to discuss Dustforce. It's one of those games that I've been following closely, though I've never quite had the time to share with you. I figured this would be as good a day as any to bring Dustforce to light, since it will be releasing on Steam on January 17, a mere two days time.

Dustforce is a game about cleaning. Say what? Yes, cleaning. Like myself and many other level-headed adults, you probably hate cleaning. So, this raises two questions. First, why would anyone make a game about cleaning? And second, why should you care about that game? How bold and brash of developers Hitbox Team to create a title centered around such a hated chore! Dustforce takes your grade school janitor, gives him the skill-set of a ninja, puts you in control, and says "have fun!" How could that not be enjoyable? You air dash, double-jump, and wall jump through 50 plus dust, leaf, slime, and garbage infested stages in which you sweep, buff, and vaccuum while fending off polluted pugilists. Don't brush it off, because it really looks like a bucket of fun.

Dustforce has all the makings of an OBG classic. Unique, stylish art and animation? Smooth, fast-paced action? Head-noddable soundtrack? Replays? Leaderboards? Yes. And though it's local only, they've even included multiplayer modes for the group of friends or family who clean together. I hate cleaning, but I think I'll love Dustforce. Get it on Steam on January 17.