Our Simple Lives...

Soon

2012-02-01T06:20:00.000-05:00

Photo by Claire

SonyaAnn said that I needed to put out a sentence or two letting you all know that I'm okay. I am. I'm just enjoying one of the best breaks ever.

In the meantime, I've been slummin' it on Facebook at Our Simple Lives and occasionally on Twitter at RSimpleLives if you want to visit.

Thanks for all the love, folks!

Your Friend, m.

"Thank you for being a Friend"

2012-01-17T16:55:00.002-05:00

Earlier today, Fred and I did a live interview on CNN. I was quite nervous but it is something that had to be done.

I'm going to make this post short(ish). But still, I want to say a few things.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support. I've said it before and I'll say(write) it again. I don't know how I will ever repay you for what you are doing for us. People who I have never met before are posting our story on their own blogs and Facebook and Tweeting. Sadly, they are losing Followers over this subject but they assured me that they are backing us 100% and aren't too upset about losing a few Followers. And the only way that I know that they are doing this is because I'm getting comments from people saying that they are coming over form (name a site)'s blog. So then I'll click over and there I am. The outpouring of love and support is unbelievable.

I also want to thank the tons of people who have come over here to leave comments. Beyond my regular readers, there are lots of people that I don't even know. I am completely overwhelmed. In a good way! And then I feel guilty. I love to reply to people but I have been so busy that I've replied to no one. Please know that every one of your comments is precious to me and it means so much. After this whole thing dies down, I hope you stick with me and I get to know you better. In order to respond to everyone, I would need to quite my job and do nothing but reply. I can't afford to do that yet! So please, come back. In fact, I will try to respond to any comments you leave tonight.

As a few of you have pointed out, Our Simple Lives, is not so simple after all. In fact, if you go back to my very first post in 2009, I make a point saying that a simple life is what I want, not what I have. So like most of my posts, my title is also kind of a joke. And I love the fact that you can see my humor even in my sad posts. I agree that humor is the best medicine. And I live for your funny and off colored posts. Keep 'em coming!

Taken with my phone at the Station

I need to let you know that out of all the comments, emails, phone calls..., I only received one negative (if you want to call it that) comment.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Stop the Deportations - The Story of a Bi-National...":

It's not governments on earth defining the marriage ... The Bible (God's word) says that marriage is between one man and one woman.

I don't mind this comment and I don't want you to mind it either. In fact, my blog is public and therefore, this person(Anonymous) can leave these comments. Sadly, they must have used their phone because it didn't show up on my blog but only emailed to me. Although I don't agree with their opinion(obviously), I'm glad they just left it without being mean. So please, don't any of you attack Anonymous for his/her opinion and I invite them back to see how my beautiful Family grows.

Here is who you can write to if you feel moved to do so.

Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr.

393 Russell Senate Office Building

Washington, D.C. 20510

P: 202-224-6324

Toll Free: 866-802-2833

Fax: 202-228-0604

Secretary Janet Napolitano

Department of Homeland Security

U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Washington, D.C. 20528

202-282-8000

Unless something else comes up, I am in desperate need of a break. Next week, I might do daily photo posts so you can see how I'm doing with my new camera that I never touch. I'd like to thank my Friend Kreg P., who lives up the street from us, for sending this link to me.

You are very kind and I'll never stop thanking you.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Did you see me tug at my ear piece. That was for you. m.
Hey, I almost forgot. Our Simple Lives has a Facebook page. I hope you can find it because I'm not sure I have the smarts to link over to it. m.
Update: Peter told me to past this and it will work: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Our-Simple-Lives/286840071357172
Thanks Peter! m.

THIS, is CNN

2012-01-14T17:33:00.000-05:00

That title's better if you imagine James Earl Jones saying it.

What a week it's been! And between you and me(no one else is reading, right?), I'm glad it's over. I know there is way more to come but I need a few days away from it all.

Yesterday, a film crew from CNN drove down from NYC to interview us. Upon arriving and trying to set up their equipment, Maggie wouldn't leave them alone. So I had her arrested.

Don't feel bad for her. I told you before that she has no manners. I blame her Foster Mother. "Love ya Aunt Pam"!

And they got right to town setting up their equipment in my living room. Getting my ottoman in just the right angle for visitors, took me forever. Then right before my eyes, they picked it up and moved it against the fireplace. I'll never find that perfect position again, I just know it.

I tried my best not to get in their way but my house is the size of a postage stamp so there was little I could do. I suppose had I stopped taking photos of the situation, that would have helped too. But c'mon, how often will a international news crew be in my living room?

Fred's ready for his close-up!

He looks a little washed out in that light. But that's what he gets for being born white. I had way more sense in the beginning. See my furniture against the fireplace. Why did they do that to me?

Gettin' strapped in!

Watching Fox News while waiting. Just joking, Fred would never!

The happy couple

If you watch all the videos that I posted from the past week, I think that carousel horse is always behind us. Maybe they'll make it the face of Gay Immigration.

Damn Paparazzi always following us

Don't worry, our neighbors are used to cameras in the neighborhood. But usually it's the producers of COPS. This is a nice change of pace.

Maggie escaped!

Can you see my box of Franzia peeking out from the cabinet? It was calling to me. "C'mon Mark, you know you want me"!

The Great American Melting Pot

When we bought that love seat in the late 90s, it was perfect for the two of us. The salesperson suggested that we buy the sofa instead for only $60.00 more. I didn't want a huge sofa in my living room. So I said no. I may have been wrong.

Listen, I'm not going to get all political on you today. I've had enough of it and all I really want to do is get back to my simple posts. But as mentioned before, this blog is a diary for the kids. And, well, this is what is happening in their lives.

Once again, and probably for the rest of my life now, I need to Thank you all for everything that you are doing for our Family. Our story has been shared everywhere and I'm hoping that the more people realized that this is an actual situation, the more pressure will be put on the Gov't to remove this barrier for so many Families like ours.

If this video doesn't work, here is the link: http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2012/01/14/pkg-candiotti-gay-man-faces-deportation.cnn.html

I hope to be back blogging regularly on Monday or Tuesday. I miss visiting you all and leaving inappropriate comments on your blogs. Thank you for sticking with me and I do apologize for not responding to comments over the past week. I was a little busy fighting the Federal Government. You know how it is.

Your Friend, m.

"Fame! I'm gonna live forever"!

2012-01-13T08:13:00.001-05:00

But this is not the 15 minutes of fame that I wanted.

I was just checking with the World, and apparently, everyone knows our business now. Although there could be some folks in the Conga who are still clueless. But don't worry, I've Friended them on Facebook so they should know soon enough.

I'm serious, I'd rather not be known in history books for this. I can just see it now. "World famous Blogger and Civil Rights Pioneer, Mark Himes, died today at the age of 103. Doctors say it had nothing to do with the fact that he lost two Followers in one evening. In other news, burgundy and hunter green are back in fashion"! Honestly, why didn't I do Star Search when I had the chance? But no, I had to do life the hard way.

Don't let your guard down or Love will get you.

We have another crazy day before us. And once again, you'll find out shortly. But all I want is it to be 8:30PM, and the kids in bed so I can finally watch two weeks of Top Chef. I just see it there, in my DVR, teasing me. But nope, I'm too beat by the end of the day.

Smothered by Love

Once again, I want to thank you for the comments on this site, the emails and tweets. Yesterday was nuts with everyone and their brother forwarding around Wednesday's post on Facebook. I've seen folks, who I don't even know, saying things like, "although I don't believe in Gay Marriage(Marriage Equality), I can't see why the Government would want to rip this family apart....: Total strangers I'm telling you. It was so unreal. If I do live to be 103, I'll never be able to thank all of you and those people personally. I hope you all are reading now and know that everything you are doing for us is much appreciated.

Great Organization that we worked with for years and years and years...

Because you asked, here is how you can help. You can write to Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano. And if you live in Pennsylvania, you can write to Senator Casey's office. Both, on our behalf. You can let them know that you read the story on StopTheDeportations.com or that you know of our story from another source. If you do this, I would urge you to, as best you can, write it when you're in a good mood. No one likes a nasti-gram. In fact, Senator Casey's office already knows about our story and his staff has reached out to us. And Congressman Holden's office has been exceptionally helpful. I tend to think that people are generally good and want to help when and if they can. You read my post that I copied from StopTheDeportations.com. You know that we are asking for approval of our green-card application. Or at the very least, held in abeyance and not denied. I will leave the rest to you because I don't want it to sound like a form letter. And in fact, actual letters and phone calls are the best. Next week, I will post info about how to contact those offices. My mind right now, at 6a.m., doesn't have the will power to look it up.

Bloggy-Friends, I hope to be back to "normal" next week and start visiting you all again and telling mindless stories like how Fred removed clothes from the washer, dried, folded and put them away. Sounds great, right? But sadly, I didn't wash those clothes. I just had them sitting in the washing machine until there was enough to wash. So now, what's dirty, what's clean, who knows!

In the meantime, let me make you watch another video. This was from a French documentary filmed in 2008. It was on Gay life in America. Our part was about Immigration. I think they made a French and an English speaking version. Also, Fred is called Fabien in this clip. I forget why he wanted an Alias. But, it is what it is!

Your Friend, m.
p.s. Are you sick of me yet? Well, if you can stand to see more, please read our interview in the Philadelphia Enquirer that just hit this morning: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/20120113_Gay__binational_couple_joins_fight_against_federal_antigay_law.html?page=1&c=y
fyi, I'm not the "facilities manager" as mentioned in this article. I'm in Facilties but certainly not the manager.

"I know why the caged bird sings" too!

2012-01-12T07:40:00.000-05:00

It's either that or go crazy

Yesterday was filled with emotions. Yeah. Me! Can you believe that! It started very early with rushing and panic to make sure that we had everything we needed for our day. And it ended in me reading 10,000 emails, comments, tweets, etc, etc...

We woke at 5:00a.m. to get our day started. You know, the usual Gay Agenda; walking the dogs, putting clothes in the dryer, packing lunches for the kids. But it was more rushed than usual. The only thing that we didn't have to do was to put the kids on the school bus. That is why I am so grateful for my Mom. She slept over on Tuesday night to see the kids onto the bus. Fred and I left for Philadelphia and the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services(USCIS) at 7a.m.

We were received warmly by the Officer at the USCIS. He asked us questions regarding all of our documents that Fred had compiled into a nice and orderly folder for them. Fred had originals and any copies that the Officer would ever want. The Officer asked us questions about our address, our In-law's names, date of birth.... The meeting took about 30 minutes. Our (not so secret anymore) attorney, Lavi Saloway, was with us at all times. And thank God for him because while we only knew our lives, he knew the law. At one point, the Officer asked Lavi if he practiced Immigration Law. Lavi's response was "Only". I thought that was funny. No cases, at all, are decided at the moment of the actual meeting. So, we thanked the Officer and went on our way.

We were so grateful for the fact that we, as a gay couple, even made it that far. This was unheard of just two years ago, or maybe just last year. Baby steps, people. Baby steps. And it felt good to be acknowledged as a Family and have someone listen to us. We understand that only 50 years ago, it could have been a White man and Black woman, both Americans, going through the same thing. So once again, we are grateful.

Now, the stressful wait for a response, of an approval or denial, begins.

I took my camera but have no photos. I was told several times while entering the building, that bringing it was a big No-No. And I listened.

Last night, as mentioned above, I was overwhelmed by the emails and tweets and Facebook messages. I started to thank everyone personally but it got to a point that I didn't have enough time in my evening to do so. I felt bad because I love to respond to comments and especially welcome new folks over here. But sadly, I cannot. However, I just wanted to take this moment to thank all of you for reaching out to us and with such kind things to say. I really was getting choked up last evening reading all of them. You have no idea how much it means to me. I read every single message and they are all Special. You wrote beautiful things. Unlike the comments in the CNN Interview that went out yesterday. I stopped reading those.

I need to say this too. A few of you offered us financial assistance. As wonderful as that sounds and I am honored that you offered, we are fine. Fred and I have planned for everything. The sale of two huge houses over the years and moving into a neighborhood that we can easily afford on one salary, has made it possible for us to be comfortable. But if you could buy a box of Girl-Scout Cookies from Claire which we'll donate to our Troops overseas, that would make my day. I'll tell you about that later.

Now I must leave and go get ready for work. Life goes on you know! Bloggers, Twitter and Facebook Friends, forwarding my post, tweeting and re-tweeting it, and actually writing about us on your own blogs, was an incredible thing to see. You are wonderful to me. Now I feel bad about talking about you behind your backs. But from this day on, I'm only going to use my gossiping for Good. wink!

This is a second video clip from the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, that was filmed over a two year span. The clip from yesterday was filmed while we were in a Rental. The following shows us at our previous house that we rebuilt. I'm not sure who these two guys are that are stealing the limelight from me. We're in this clip somewhere. We are two, of many thousands of people, who are going through the same thing.

Below is the interview that we did with CNN the other day. Since I copy/pasted it, it's hard to read. So here is the link: http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/11/us/philadelphia-gay-couple-deportation/index.html?iref=allsearch

Your Friend, m.
p.s. I will let you know soon if there is anything, that you can do at all, to help us out. Meaning, letters and such. But for now, just keep spreading yesterday's story so people are aware of this issue. Thanks for your help. m.

Philadelphia (CNN) -- Frederic Deloizy says his life began the day he met Mark Himes by chance at a birthday party in April 1990.

Himes had recently started a job with Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education, and Deloizy was studying at a nearby college. The strangers arrived at the party at the same time, and Deloizy held the door open for Himes, catching his eye.

"It was love at first sight. We felt we belonged together," Deloizy said.

Deloizy, a French national, spent the past two decades in and out of the United States leapfrogging from one visa to another, in hopes of creating a life together with Himes, who was born and raised outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

But 21 years and four adopted children later, the couple -- who were married in California in 2008 -- is fighting to stay together since Deloizy's final visa expired in September.

Deloizy faces deportation because immigration officials are barred from recognizing their marriage under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Himes filed a spousal green card petition so they can continuing living stateside in Harrisburg with their four children, John, 11, Claire, 8, and 6-year-old twins, Jacob and Joshua.

"I will no longer ride in the back of the bus. I am tired of waiting for people to give me rights," Himes said.

On Wednesday, they will appear before an immigration officer at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services' district offices in Philadelphia to defend their relationship and marriage, the usual process for opposite-sex married couples where one spouse is foreign-born and not a U.S. citizen.

From left to right is Jacob, 6, John, 11, Claire, 8, and Joshua, 6.

However, Deloizy and Himes represent a growing number of same-sex couples with a partner of foreign nationality at risk of separation under DOMA, according to the couple's immigration attorney, Lavi Soloway.

"They have sacrificed everything for their family, and the idea that the federal government wants to tear them apart in the name of the Defense of Marriage Act is preposterous and cannot [be allowed to] happen," said Soloway, co-founder of Stop The Deportations, a campaign to stop the deportations of spouses of gay and lesbian Americans.

DOMA was passed in 1996 by the GOP-controlled Congress and signed into law by Democratic President Bill Clinton. It bars federal recognition of same-sex marriages and says states cannot be forced to recognize such marriages from other states.

The couple could receive a decision Wednesday or weeks later about their green card petition, Soloway said. At best, they could buy time if their case is placed on hold until DOMA makes it to the Supreme Court. On the flip side, deportation proceedings could begin for Deloizy.

"If I'm deported, the whole family is deported. You don't split a family," Deloizy said. "It could make me mad, but it makes me sad. This is our reality."

In February, President Barack Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. Despite the order, the administration will continue to enforce the law.

"(DOMA) is clearly unconstitutional because it violates basic equality rights," said David S. Cohen, associate professor of law at Drexel University's Earle Mack School of Law. "Unless the legislative stars align themselves and make it a part of the priority to repeal DOMA, it will take some time for the courts to get to it."

The couple is not seeking special treatment, instead they're asking for equal protection under the law, Himes said.

"You live constantly with the stress of knowing that you're a second-class citizen and at any moment your family could be torn apart by the same government that permitted you to become a family," Himes said. "This is not gay life. This is two guys with a lot of kids trying to get laundry done and homework finished."

With Deloizy unable to work because of his visa status, Himes is now the sole breadwinner for the family. Deloizy runs the household when Himes is at work, packing lunches, getting the kids off to school, and shuttling their brood to doctor's appointments and activities.

"I simply could not do this by myself," Himes said. "The private schools are gone, the nice cars are gone, and the big house is gone. But we have our family and we have our love."

Himes chronicles their daily life on his blog, where he creates a "virtual scrapbook" of the couple's children: his daughter, Claire, getting her ears pierced for Christmas; his son, Jacob being rushed to the hospital when he bit his tongue after falling off his pogo stick; and the family trip to Washington for the White House Easter Egg Roll in 2010.

"It's not about being gay or straight, it's about love," Deloizy said. "If we're not a family then what are we?"

Stop the Deportations - The Story of a Bi-National Gay Couple

2012-01-11T06:59:00.000-05:00

I know, my post looks odd today. That's because I copied it directly from Stop the Deportations.com. I'm in a rush and I need to make this fast. Today is what Fred and I have been waiting for for almost 22 years now. Please read below and you'll understand how big of a deal this is.

I've been crazy busy in the past couple of days and that is why you've hardly seen me around the Blogesphere. And I'll be even more busy in the days to come.

I probably won't have time to respond to your comments but if you leave one with a question in it, I'll be sure to answer it all in the next few posts.

Thank you all for your love and support
By the time you read this, we'll be on our way to Philadelphia to meet with officials at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. We hope to be received warmly.

Here's the story behind the story that you already know.

After more than 20 years, four children, and three houses, we are still unsure of our future.

Like any other parents in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania where we live, we spend our days taking care of our family, making sure that our children are loved, happy, healthy and are learning the skills and values that will give them the most opportunities for a successful and fulfilling life.

And yet, as much as we have devoted our lives to our family and to each other, we do not enjoy what most families in America take for granted. Despite being legally married, and having become the parents of four wonderful children, our family can be torn apart at any time by my own government because of the Defense of Marriage Act and because of outdated immigration laws.

We are Mark, Frédéric, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua.

Fred and I met in April of 1990 at a birthday party for a mutual friend. As I learned later, neither one of us wanted to attend the part on that particular night, but, somehow, we both were talked into it. I arrived with my friend Rebecca at the same time that Fred arrived with his friend, Steve. As we approached the entrance, Fred said hello to me in his thick French accent. I often joke saying that “he had me at allo.” He held the door open for me that night.

After that, we spent most of the rest of the evening on the floor in the hallway simply talking about our lives. I found out that he had been in the country for the past year teaching at a university a couple hours away. By midnight, his crew was heading out. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in and gently kissed him. I don’t know what possessed me to do that. He looked shocked. After he left, I asked the host if Fred was gay, since almost everyone at the party was straight. The host responded “yes” and told me that Fred was planning on going into the priesthood. That didn’t stop me from reaching out to him. I tracked him down at his university and sent him a card. We were able to meet again a few times before he went back to France two months later. And so began unbearable seven years of flying back and forth across the ocean as often as we could.

In 1997, Frédéric was hired at a local high school to teach French. We were finally together in the same country again, and we were both elated. In 1999, we stumbled across a house in Harrisburg that was condemned and boarded up. I fell in love with it. I had to convince Fred to buy it. We paid $1.00 for it and spent the next several months bringing it back to life. It was a labor of love. We literally built a home for ourselves. Ten years after we first met we were settling down and ready to start a family.

In April of 2000, we submitted our application to an adoption agency. They called us six days later to let us know that a boy was just born and asked if we would be interested. Nervously, we said yes. Our son, John, was born on April 20th, 2000. In July 2003, we were blessed again by the birth of our daughter, Claire.

In 2004, with Fred’s work visa due to expire after he reached the limit of six years, he and his employer reached out to an immigration lawyer only to learn that they had acted too late to be eligible for any extension. We began to face the prospect, that we would be forced to leave the United States and move to France. It was very difficult for me to think of leaving my parents and my sister with severe MS, but we could not allow our children to be separated from one of their parents. Our highest priority was keeping our family together. So thinking that we were moving to France, we advertised the house for sale. We had a buyer within a couple of days. With only a few months to go, Fred was able to obtain a student visa to attend our local college. But it was too late to save the house. We moved into a rental. During this time, we experienced what so many gay binational couples come to feel: a growing sense of frustration with the blatant discrimination that prevents gay American citizens from sponsoring their partners, even when they are legally married. We were featured in the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, which profiled the experiences of a diverse group of binational couples. We felt then, as we do now, that we must stand up for our rights. We could not live on this roller coaster, without any way to plan a secure future for our family, and just sit on our hands and do nothing.

Also during that time, we found another condemned house and started renovations on that. We completed the renovations and moved into that in 2005. By 2007, with two kids in private school and Fred unable to work because of his status as a foreign student, money was running low. We decided that, once again, we had no choice but to sell the house into which we literally had poured our blood, sweat and tears. It was heartbreaking to lose our home. We sold the house quickly and purchased a much smaller house in a less expensive neighborhood so that we could keep going for as long as possible on one salary.

In 2008, we married in San Francisco, 18 years after we had first met. A French film crew came with us, and we became part of a film on gay life in America: This is Family.

On April 7, 2009, our 19th anniversary, we met our youngest sons, Jacob and Joshua who were four at that time. They easily blended into our family and overnight, we went from two children to four. We were a growing family, full of love and optimism about our future in every respect but one. A ticking clock grew ever louder, as we knew that Fred’s student visa would eventually come to an end.

In the spring and summer of 2011, we were forced again to weigh our options. Now the proud (and sometimes exhausted) parents of four children, we were forced to look for a way to remain together in this country or else leave. We started to seriously consider moving to France. However, we quickly learned, that despite some advances in French law over the years, we were trapped. We could not stay in the United States (my country) and we could not move to France (Fred’s country). We are unwanted by both. Although we are both the legal parents of four American children, and both the state and federal government recognizes our status as parents, it will not recognize our marriage because of the Defense of Marriage Act. According to the U.S. government, I am the father of our four children, and Fred is the father of the same four children, but we are legal strangers to each other. Our marriage, our nearly 22 years together, all of that amounts to nothing. Fred has no right to stay in the United States beyond the expiration date of his visa. And that day was rapidly approaching. At the same time, while France would recognize our relationship under its less-than-optimal Civil Solidarity Pact (“PACS”), and it may even permit me to reside in France legally as an immigrant on the basis of our relationship (but not our marriage), the French government refuses to recognize the adoption of our children, because under French law same-sex couples are prohibited from adopting children. We are trapped by U.S. law that refuses to see our marriage, and French law that refuses to see our children. We cannot continue to live this way, and we cannot be torn apart. .. so we decided to fight back.

Over the past years, we have built our entire lives in the U.S. All of our family and friends are here. Our children should not be put through the trauma of seeing one of their parents forced out of the country, nor should we be uprooted and turned into refugees searching for a third country that will take us in. It is an outrage that my own government has created this situation and allows it to persist, when it has the power to solve the problem both in the short-term with interim policy changes, and in the long-run by defeating DOMA. We are thankful that this administration is fighting DOMA in court alongside lesbian and gay couples. Those cases will hopefully bring an end one day to that law and its cruel, unnecessary impact. But we need the administration to help all LGBT families like ours today by putting in place policies that protect us.

This past summer we decided to join The DOMA Project and fight for full equality for our family. After many discussions with our lawyer, we decided that I would file a “green card” petition on behalf of Fred, as my spouse. We have done this because we cannot continue to exist from one visa to another, we cannot put our children through the stress, and we cannot allow the status quo, in which our future is so unstable, to continue. We believe that we must set an example for our children by living our lives in a way that assumes we are all equal.

On Wednesday, January 11, 2012, Fred and I will go to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Philadelphia to be interviewed in connection with the marriage-based immigration petition I filed last summer. We will go into that interview expecting to be treated equally. A USCIS officer will ask us about our marriage, review our evidence of cohabitation and commingled finances, and proof that that we have a marital relationship. We have dutifully compiled a pile of documents and photographs for review. We welcome the opportunity to be treated just like everyone else: to prove that our marriage is real. While we look forward to the interview, we have no illusions of what we are up against. We will prove that we are, in every way, qualified for Fred to receive a green card, but he will still be denied. And that is where the next stage of our fight will begin.

We have notified our elected officials and we will continue to fight for our case to be approved or, at the very least, held in abeyance, and not denied. We are painfully aware of the Obama administration’s position that DOMA, despite being unconstitutional, must be enforced. We know that President Obama believes that DOMA prevents the Immigration Service from “recognizing” our marriage. Even so, there is no reason that our marriage cannot be respected and our family protected. We need bold leadership to create remedies that keep all families together. Our four children, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua, deserve no less.

Your Friend, m.

The downside of raising straight boys

2012-01-09T08:19:00.000-05:00

Here we go again!

A couple of months ago, Johnny had to be rushed to the hospital because he sliced his finger nearly off. Apparently, Jacob was jealous because of all the attention that Johnny was receiving, so...

He thought he'd give it a shot!

Claire slept over at her Friend Riley's house on Friday night. At 3PM on Saturday, I picked her up and as we were leaving, Riley's Mom, JHo(as I call her) came running out with her phone saying that Fred was on the line. In a rushed voice, Fred said, "I just called 911 and the ambulance is on its way. Jacob fell off his pogo stick and bit his tongue off"! I said I'd be right there. I handed the phone back to JHo and told her that I'd call her later. I rushed home. It should have only taken a few minutes but I was stuck in Farm Show traffic. Damn that Farm Show! Fred called me again to let me know that our neighbor, Ellen, was at the house with John and Joshua and that he was leaving with the ambulance. I was pulling in as Fred and the ambulance were rolling down the street.

WARNING: BLOOD AHEAD!!!

I hope our Adoption caseworker isn't reading this.

First, I would like to thank Fred for not grabbing one of my linen napkins this time. But as you can see, he grabbed one of the towels that his Mother brought from France in April as a gift to me because she thinks my towels are dingy. So she'll be happy to see that I've kept this one pretty white. Well, except for the blood stains that is. Otherwise, as clean as the day she brought them!

Little Man

As I was rushing to close the house down again and um, well, grabbing my camera, I asked Ellen what she knew. She said that she had only arrived to occupy the kids so that Fred could deal with Jacob and the medics. She really didn't know much. Yes, that is a DS that Jacob is holding above. I know from the last time that kids go nuts without something to do in Emergency Rooms. So I locked up, threw the kids in the minivan and off we went.

It's not a hike in the woods but what can you do?

I've told you before that I don't get hysterical in these matters. After almost 22 years, I've learned to take whatever Fred tells me, about a situation, and dial it back by half. I knew that he told me that Jacob bit off his tongue but I was hoping for something less traumatic. I won't leave you hanging. I was right. Now mind you, it is a major gash in the top and bottom part of his tongue but like Johnny's finger, it is able to be saved. Okay, let's continue.

Fred calling my Parents

Listen, it's sort of mandatory that we call my Mom and Dad. If we don't, we'll never hear the end of it. So, the first call is always 911 and then to my Mom. She'd prefer it the other way around but we have to draw the line somewhere.

We always luck-out and get the best doctors.

And yes, again, I asked her if I could photograph her examining him and she agreed. To hell with those HIPAA laws! By the way, I really don't have my children get hurt to increase the popularity of this blog. But, since they do get hurt, why not grab my camera! Oh, stop. You're just jealous because you don't think to grab yours in the midst of an emergency. I'm right, aren't I?

She photographed the tongue and emailed it to the surgeon to determine what to do. He emailed back and said that it wasn't bad enough to operate. Although his tongue looks horrible, apparently tongues have an incredible blood/vein/artery system that can heal itself quickly. I'm only going by what they said. So we have several days of blended food to prepare for him.

I made him "scooch" over so that I could love him up

That's the problem with having a lot of children, the chances of someone getting hurt increases. And of course, as the parent, you hurt right along with them. And if you don't, there's something wrong with you.

But as long as they're not the hurt ones, my kids kind of like the hospital. As soon as we walk in, all I hear is "Where are the vending machines? Can we get a snack? How about a coke? Can I get a coke and Doritos...? Are there any Snickers in that machine"? Seriously, it's Kids Gone Wild. And although Jacob couldn't join in on our "dinner", he took the opportunity to relax and catch up on his shows.

His Highness was in charge of the remote.

Luckily, he put on a show that I sometimes watch too. And sometimes, I watch it by myself. Good Luck Charlie. Oh, don't look down on me. I only watch it for the Mom on that show. She kills me!

Wouldn't you agree, Tracy?

He'll be off school on Monday. And when he goes back to school, Fred will pack a container of mush for him to drink. Doesn't that sound yummy? But there is a silver lining to this saga. He hasn't talked back to me in at least 24 hours. See, it ain't all bad!

"Why so quiet, Jacob, cat got your tongue"?

I think my Comment system corrected itself over this past weekend. I finally got email notifications that people left comments on my site. Days later, but still, I got them. They all came in at one time. Please, send your thoughts and prayers to my comment system.

Come back on Wednesday. I think that's the day when you learn my "Big Secret". And no, it's not that I'm actually a Mommy Blogger in disguise. I think that secret's out.

Your Friend, m.

A little off track

2012-01-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

More or less.

I think I'm starting this year negatively. My last post was all about how I hate my new camera and this post is more along those same lines. And while talking about being negative, I was speaking with a co-worker of mine earlier in the week and we were complaining about something. And she said, "Mark, we're turning into those negative women who used to work here who bitched about everything". We laughed it off because we're really not like them at all. The difference is that those women hated their jobs and marked the days off on calendars until they could retire. My Friend and I love our jobs. But sometimes, a bitch-session really comes in handy.

As mentioned earlier in the week, Fred help me declutter the kitchen cabinets. I was so grateful to him because that's not his thing. And also as mentioned, I had stacked everything on the table to photograph and then chuck in the trash or donate. It was there a couple of days and, because I'm not touching my camera, I did nothing with the stuff. Wednesday night, I took Claire to Brownies and came home around 8PM. We settled the kids in bed and then we relaxed ourselves. When I woke up yesterday and walked through the dining room, the entire table had been cleared of my last remaining items to complete my 365 day project.

Long story short, Fred, who doesn't follow this blog, assumed that my project ended on December 31st, not January 14th. Therefore, he did me the "favor" of tossing everything into the trash. As he was telling this to me, I could hear the garbage truck leaving our block. Needless to say, I was upset. But in his defense, he was trying to help me. Still, it kind of ruined my mood yesterday. And then of course, today was suppose to be the day where I declared my Victory over my Clutter. I now have until the 14th to try and find 37 more items. Removing the last 100 items out of this house caused arguing because it wasn't my stuff. I'm not sure I want to go there again. This may be the death of my de-cluttering project.

I have been walking ever since Tuesday. And since I'm writing on Friday morning, you can see that I didn't die afterall. I leave the house exactly at 7:30 and arrive at work at exactly 8a.m. on the dot. I do a 15 minute mile and if I start to slack, I speed up my walking. All the time making sure that I don't look like a stupid-ass speed walker. Any faster and I'd have to invest in a matching jogging suit and fanny pack. It wouldn't be pretty.

I'm not about to say that I enjoy walking to work. I can tell you that I don't hate it. It's not like it's a stroll through the park or something. It's to get from point A to point B in 30 minutes and that's it. To tell you the truth, it's kind of boring. Obviously, it's way better than walking on a treadmill, but still, a little boring. I've varied my route a few times just for a change of scenery. It's cold so there aren't many souls outside to say hi to. Also, I don't listen to music or anything like that. I prefer to be aware of what's around me so if my mind is occupied by music, I'd worry that someone would come up behind me and slash my throat. And it doesn't help that Fred and I are currently watching The Tudors, The Borgias and The Medici Family, simultaneously, on Netflix. I'm a tad paranoid.

I stepped on the scale at the office(we have a gym that I don't use) only to discover that I'm heavier than I thought I was. I felt sick. But sadly, my lunch had already been digested so there was little I could do about it at that point. What I can tell you so far is that, because I'm walking heavily, I don't feel the need to gorge on food like I do. And because I arrive home later than usual and am thirsty, I don't run to my Merlot. I think that's all helping.

And I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good about myself. I showered and started to get dressed. I only felt fat while putting my underwear on. I stood there shaving and uncomfortable thinking how I could let myself get to this point. Then I realized that I was wearing Johnny's underwear. I don't think I need to explain how disturbing, on so many levels, that realization was. I really can't even "go there". Let me just say this. There is nothing positive at all about wearing your children's underwear. I don't care how thin you are. The only thing I thanked God for was that I wasn't wearing Claire's Good Luck Charlie underwear.

I promise to pick up my camera and practice this weekend. Other than color coding everyone's underwear, I have no plans for Saturday and Sunday. So perhaps I'll take the kids to the forest and shoot them. Yes, I know how that sounds.

I've received several emails from folks saying that they are unable to comment on this site. I have a love/hate relationship with my Comment System. When it works, it's beautiful. That is, again, when it works. A lot of the times, I'm not getting notified that you have left a message. I only know because when I click on this blog, I see that there are more comments. I need to let you know that I respond to a lot of those comments. If you don't see an email response, there is probably one that I left for you here. If you are having problems leaving a comment, perhaps it's the browser that you're using. I really have no idea. But I thank you for trying.

Have a good weekend Folks
Your Friend, m.

I hate my new camera

2012-01-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

And other observations

A couple of weeks before Christmas, Fred purchased a new camera for me. I am now the proud owner of a Canon 7D. For a year, I've been struggling between a Canon and a Nikon. Jim over at Ocean Breezes gave me some great advice. The models that I compared had practically the same ratings and reviews. But in the end, I decided upon a Canon. I was thrilled. It came a couple of days later.

So now, I'm the proud owner of a very expensive camera that I hate. I think the reason that I hate it so much is that it makes me feel stupid. Honestly, when I bought my Sony A230 a few years back, I opened the box, snapped the lens on and went to town. This thing just sits here, right beside me, mocking me. I'm looking at it now and I detest it's smugness. Not only does it tease me, but it's rude to my Sony. I keep them separated now. I hate bullies!

My blogapist(Blog Therapist) and real life Friend, Lauren of Still + Life, keeps telling me to "Practice Practice Practice, and you'll start to get the hang of it". She's such a slave driver. I hate her! No I don't. I'm just frustrated and I'd rather take it out on her. My main problem is that I have a hard time focusing with it. That damn lens just won't focus for me. Lauren sent me info that indicated that this is not only my issue, but tons of others. However, it read, that once you master the lens, you'll never put the camera down. So, my goal for 2012 is to learn how to use this thing. In other words, I will make this camera my Bitch! FYI, these photos were taken with the new camera. So far, I think I've only taken pictures of a Christmas tree and plants. And when it's not windy! They don't move like children do.

In other news, I'm a big fat pig! Yes, it's true. I used to be just a run of the mill kinda pig. But then, after four kids, I gained some weight. Truth be told, I actually didn't give birth to these kids of mine. Yep, the cat's out of the bag! But still, I gained 10lbs with each of my Birthmother's pregnancy. Talk about sympathetic pregnancy! Look, I'm not a "real" mama, so why in God's name must I look like one? Honestly, I'm almost ready to call my Mom and ask her if she'll take me for my first training bra.

Okay, it's not that bad. And I know what you're thinking, "Mark, you're gorgeous, I've never seen anyone more beautiful". Awe, thank you, that's very kind of you for saying so. You were thinking that, right? Of course you were, I'm crazy! Anyway, I need to drop about 25lbs. I'm not kidding, I really do! I'll talk more about it in a couple of weeks. But for right now, I'll be walking to and from work starting on Tuesday. It's only two miles each way. I told Fred to expect a text from me from about four blocks down asking that he come pick me up. Otherwise, the township will have to bring in a forklift to remove my carcass from the road.

Fred helped me remove unwanted cups and such things from the kitchen yesterday. I have everything piled up on the table to take a photo and then get rid of. I didn't count but I'm sure that I hit the 37 things that I need in order to meet my goal. But I was really hoping for more big things to remove from this house. So, I'll probably meet my challenge but it will be a dud of a victory. I think I'll do that posting on Friday. Aren't you thrilled? No, I'm not either.

Johnny has been bugging for a Facebook account. I told him that we'll talk when he's twelve this year. He slept over at a friend's house last evening. They were both here this afternoon(Monday). The children's computer is right beside mine so I can see everything. His friend sat down and logged on to "John's account". I said, "What's that"? John jumped, "He signed me up"! We sent his friend home. I looked at his account. While there, a message popped up, for John, from a friend of his from school. It read, "Wassup Faggot"? That "modern greeting" doesn't offend me. I just deleted the account and now John will have to wait until at least 13 to try again. "Thems the breaks"!

Joy: Waking up to see that you have a 192 comments on your last post.
Pain: Realizing that your comment system doubled 75% of those comments.
Death: Having to go through and delete 50+ duplicate comments.

Stupid me for thinking that I hit it big time.

Alright then, that's about it. See, that was an easy post.

But while you're here in Blogistan, swing on over to my Friend Ron's site, From Sophie's View and wish him a Happy Birthday.

Hey, I just realized that this is my first post of the year.
Happy New Year!

See you all on Friday!
Your Friend, m.

2011

2011-12-30T08:13:00.001-05:00

Late Spring 2009(also, the first photo that I ever posted on this blog)

Long post ahead! You've been warned.

Late Summer 2009

Let's recap 2011! Just kidding. I wouldn't make you sit through 12 months of my rambling nonsense. So instead, I give to you, new nonsense! I'm not even going to get into "What a Year it's been" kinda talk. Every year has its highs and its lows and everything in between. From this site, you've seen me funny(just agree), angry(not really, I take that out on Fred and my Mom), lost(when my kids are gone), overwhelmed(when my kids return), and sad(must we go there again?). But hopefully, while writing about our domestic adventures, I've been able to entertain you. And after all that I've written this year, who knew that a trip to the Piercing Pagoda would prove to be my most popular post ever? Maybe all my posts should be Mall related! How's this for a title: "Skinny-Jeans for overweight middle aged gay men. My adventures at Hollisters"

Fall 2009

By the way, it's 3:30a.m. on Friday morning. I just woke up and can't get back to sleep. I knew I wanted to do a post today but am truly "winging it". I have no new photos so I went to the archives. I also have no idea how long this post will be. If you want to get credit for visiting me, just skip this whole mess and write something like, "Great photos, Happy New Year". It's all the same, right? Oh, hey! Before I forget, if you comment from your phone, your comment is sent to me but usually hours later and I then have to manually enter it. I'm not sure why it does that. Let's continue.

Christmas evening 2009

I'm feeling better as a writer/blogger this year. I rarely(most times) make the mistake of writing its when I want to write it's anymore. And it goes the same for then vs than. Yes, it has taken me 43 years to correct that but still, I did it! Sadly though, my fingers type faster than(I used to write "then") my brain thinks and therefore, I occasionally leave out words or sometimes entire sentences from paragraphs. It's really bad when I'm trying to make a joke and leave out the punch line only to discover it a day later after 500 people read it and realize that I'm an idiot. Still, you gotta hand it to me for getting that "it's" thing down. "It's" been a real bitch!

Winter 2010

It also took me awhile to find the right balance for me as far as blogging goes. You've seen a few posts, over this year, with me struggling through how often to blog. Although it seems small, two times a week seems to be the right amount for me. I could do more but a couple of things would happen. I would get tired, frustrated and then breakdown. And, the quality would certainly go down hill. Two times a week seems to give me time to work, play and think in between posts. I've also learned, from you, that not blogging for a while is okay too. Thanks! But I think the greatest thing, for me, is not blogging on the weekend. Maybe one day, when the kids are more independent, I can do that again. But for right now, I just can't.

Spring 2010

If I may, I'm proud of myself for keeping this blog mainly about the children. I've gone to other topics sometimes but I always come back to the kids. No one else knows the topic/subject of my children better than I do. I don't know much about anything else but them. And the best part is, no one can question my facts or sources.

Summer 2010

And while visiting other blogs, I've learned quite a lot about other bloggers. Here are just a few things:

When dealing with Liberal Baby Boomers about politics, know your facts. They'll eat you alive!
Lesbians love to write about feelings and emotions. Pages and pages and pages of feelings. I don't really "do" feelings. At the same time, I love hanging out with my Lesbian Friends while they're are going on an on and I still beg for me.
Mommy Bloggers only care about your opinion if you agree with them 100%. Otherwise, don't comment.
Bloggers who post only negative things post after post, should really just stick to posting to Facebook where that's the norm.
Some of my favorite bloggers have closed up shop or are on a very long holiday. That makes me sad. I still have my fingers crossed that they'll return.
And finally, Gay Male Bloggers. I'm one of you! Although I walk around like a mother duck with her babies following behind, I'm still you. If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you decorate with Queen Anne furniture, do I not talk about you behind your back? If you put on a Donna Summer album, do I not dance? Obviously, I have some gay male followers but not as many as I thought I would have. Please guys, correct me if I'm wrong. Do you not think that I'm "down with the struggle" and that I sold out to be a parent? If so, I need you to stick around and soon you'll learn what it has cost me just because I am Gay and live in the U.S. And when you do, you will kneel before me in wonderment. And while you're down there, you might as well make yourself useful.

Late Summer 2010

Some more observations.

If I'm the only one who ever comments on your site, it would be nice if you just stopped in to say "hi" every now and then. I'm just sayin'!
Some of you are Writers by nature or training. You're very smart, I get that! However, you don't need to impress me with your "smartitude". If you were born and raised by factory workers in Ohio, take pride in it. It's called a livingroom, not a Parlour.
And please, I beg of you, don't write that you "settled" for adoption. It's insulting to me and your children.

Early Fall 2010

Ah, I feel better now. I'm glad I got that all out. Do I have any Followers left? You know I love you. I just like to mess with you every now and then. I'm so glad that you know that I'm harmless and even though I fill my blog with "snarkyness" and sarcasm, I'm glad that you are all smart enough to read between the lines and know that I mean nothing by it. Except when I wrote about mixing Hunter Green with Burgundy. There are some things I just can't joke about. Hmmm, am I being funny or serious right now? It's hard to tell. I know! Just don't chance it!

Winter 2010

Oh stop it! You know that I'm head over heels in love with you. And here's why. I want my blog to succeed so that my children have this to look back on. Yes, I wrote before you all came along and if you bailed on me today, I'd still write. But you, by visiting and leaving donations(comments), encourage me to keep on going. So as it is, you are also giving a gift to my children. So thank you.

Late Winter 2011

I want to take another break. I really do. And it's time that I do that. However, Our Simple Lives(our real lives) are/is about to get more "interesting". And what kind of good for nothing blogger would I be if I didn't write about the "juicy stuff"?

Fall 2011

You've all been great this past year. Without even knowing it, you forced me to improve in so many ways. You've made me laugh(especially when using the word parlour) and I may have even shed a tear or two over some of your posts. And no, I do not have pictures of me crying! Just take my word for it. And most importantly, you were there(blog wise) to get me through December. Otherwise known as Hell Month 2011.

I'll see you all next year. Because I was too lazy to make a new one, please enjoy the year end video that I made for 2009. And you can see how my babies have grown since then. Note: The twins joined us in April of that year.

Happy New Year!
Your Friend, m.
p.s. It's now 5:30a.m. and I finally feel like I can sleep. Except I have to proof read this mess of a post. I'll take a nap and schedule it to post later.
p.s.s. If I made the "it's vs its" mistake without even realizing it, don't tell me.
m.

"Is this the little girl I carried"

2011-12-27T09:41:00.000-05:00

Her Majesty and me, 2004

Last week, my Mom and I took Claire out to the Mall for an early Christmas present.

Remember when my girl looked like this?

Claire 2010

After years of begging, mostly from my Mom, I caved in and let Claire get her ears pierced.

Seriously, all of her friends have their ears pierced but was I holding out. And because my Mom kept planting the idea into her head, Claire continued to ask for it more often. Then, a couple of months ago, Fred suggested that we do it for her for Christmas.

So then it was three against one(me). I just wanted her to stay my baby for as long as possible or forever. Whichever came first. Obviously, Claire is not my youngest child but she is my baby girl. And in a house full of men, she is a protected Class. It's really how I think. If I come from upstairs and I don't spot Claire, I'll ask Fred, "Where's Claire". He'll say, "I don't know, outside somewhere". Then I go into crazy mode until I find out where she is. Usually, I find her in some corner reading a book or something but it freaks me out that I don't know where she is 24/7. Obviously, I go nuts if I don't know where any of my children are, but girls are special and need to be guarded.

So once again, I gave in and Claire was thrilled. I had her call my Mom and tell her that we'd come for her the following day and head out to the Mall. We picked up my Mom around 6PM and drove out.

In the car, I asked Claire if she was happy. She said was happy and nervous. I asked, "Why nervous?". She replied, "I've been waiting my whole life for this". She really knows how to get to me sometimes.

The young women at the Piercing Pagoda were extremely kind and professional. I was so grateful for that. Beyond some of my "minor" issues, I have major issues with Customer Service. If I get "attitude", Lord help the person who just gave it to me. My only problem was, what should have been both shots to the ears at the exact same time, didn't happen. Still my girl was a trooper.

Oh, I need to let you in on something. I got a new camera about two weeks ago. I basically feel like I'm back to the drawing board when it come to photography. Please excuse the non-sharpness of these photos. I will get better.

So Claire has her started-earrings in for the next month. I'm sure my Mom is currently shopping for big hoop Donna Summer earring as I type. Unless she passes down hers from 1979.

Yep, that's me behind the pickled eggs and german potato salad.

But now, it's all over. I've dreaded this day forever. I fear that it's a slippery slope once one's ears are pierced. Pierced ears, butterfly tattoos, Pontiac Firebird, defendant on Judge Judy, Crack-Whore. I'm pretty sure that's how it progresses. Good thing I enrolled her in the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow Convent on the day of her birth. I look ahead!

See, she already got the look down pat.

But don't worry for Claire. She knows what she's doing.

She's a girl with a plan.

It won't be my plan but I hear that's usually how it goes. And although I want to keep her a baby, I think she is growing up. "Blossoming even as we gaze".

If I have my way, Sister Claire's dad, m.

This is my Christmas post

2011-12-23T07:36:00.000-05:00

Hang in there little buddy. It's almost over.

The kids are counting the days down. Joshua gives me updates every morning at breakfast. How he keeps track of that, when he can barely put his underwear on the right way, I'll never know. But in him, I see a child's Joy at Christmastime. And that's nice. I'll take it!

It's been a busy month and I've not had one break. And my body and mind are noticing it. The only reason that I can think of for Fred not strangling me is that it must be a Christmas miracle. I've been an absolute bear. And not the fun kind with leather and chaps either.

Johnny has to put in volunteer hours through the school and so he and I worked at the Food Bank on Monday night. Tuesday, he had a choral concert. He moved his lips but I'm not sure if he actually sang. But he looked so cute that I just wanted to run up on stage and kiss his face off. But apparently they frown at that in this school. Wednesday night I took Claire to Brownies. Like a fool, I accepted the role of Cookie Mom for our troop's Girl Scout Cookie sale starting next month. Those poor Moms have no idea what they're in for with me running the sale. Claire may be the only girl left in her troop come March. Then last night, my Mom and I took Claire out for an early Christmas present. I'll tell you about it next week.

I'm off work today and will not go back until January 3rd. My house is a pigsty and so I'll spend today cleaning. I'm in the mood to just tear through and start tossing stuff in the trash. Unfortunately, since I'll be doing it without anyone in the house noticing, you won't see it here as part of my decluttering mission. But believe, I'll be feeling good come 4PM. Then I'll have a couple glasses of wine, and while I'm drunk, I'll leave incoherent and trashy comments on your beautifully written and Holy Christmas posts. Would you like me to visit you?

We'll spend Saturday rushing to organize the house, buying last minute food items and generally getting everything in order for my Parents when they arrive Sunday morning for Christmas. Why Fred spends the day worrying about the meal and I go nuts worrying about how things look, is beyond me. My Mom and Dad don't give a lick about how the house looks and would be just as happy to be served Swanson Chicken Pot Pies. Still, it's what we do. The Gays are good with major productions. And don't even get me started with the closing ceremonies and my "Away in the Manger" solo number complete with three wardrobe changes . I've hardly had time to practice at all! And if the livestock doesn't arrive by Noon, I'm totally screwed.

Then, after the kids go down, we'll be up late wrapping presents and placing them perfectly under the tree as if winged Angels, with flowing blond hair, courtesy of Loreal, placed them there themselves. And if no child wakes me up in the middle of the night, I may be able to squeeze in six hours of sleep. Doesn't that sound exciting? But it's all good. Because come Christmas morning, we are running on total adrenaline and caffeine and it will all be a total silver and gold blur by 1PM.

I'm not sure yet if I'll take the kids to the Chrildren's Mass on Saturday evening or the Sunday morning service. We'll see. Or I just may end up going alone. That may be a Christmas present to myself. Who knows!

I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and get everything that you want and not what you actually deserve. See, I just made a "funny". Not funny? Oh well. Geez, you're so sensitive.

Oh, I almost forget. Remember last week when I acted all "I'm better than you because I'm not ready for advertising on this blog". Since then, I've been contacted by two different companies wanting to promote their site here. I didn't care for the first one's approach so I ignored him. However, the second one came across as sincere and very pleasant. Still, since I made a stand, I need to stick by that. That said, I did write back to Liz, thanked her very much for what she was offering me but said that I couldn't do it just yet. But because I liked how she contacted me and I like her company's product(s), I told her that I would link her site in my next post. And just so you know, I am not getting paid(boo hoo) and I'm not accepting what they offered me for free(don't tell Fred). I just wanted to give them a Christmas gift. So if you have a second, click on over and check out their site. I hope they make a million dollars off of my gift to them. Please visit mymemories.com.

But truly, the Holiday Season is meant to bring out the best in everyone. Let it do that for you. Open your hearts to all the goodness. And don't you worry your pretty little heads over crazy ole me.

"I'm barely getting through tomorrow"

"But still I won't let sorrow bring me way down"

"I'll be just fine and dandy"

Is it just me or does it look like she's performing on The Love Boat? I half expected to see Isacc walk over to hand her a drink.

Merry Christmas.
Your Friend, m.

In Perspective

2011-12-20T08:09:00.000-05:00

Fred's Birthday Post

Thank you all so much for reaching out and wishing Fred a Happy Birthday. Although I had to force him even to read what I wrote. It's very rare that Fred actually reads my blog. I suppose I could confess horrible sins on the blog and he would never know. Then maybe he would find out some other way and be upset. And I would say, "Fred, I confessed to you in writing. I thought you were fine with it since you didn't say anything. Didn't you read my post?" See how I would turn it around to make it his fault.

But honestly, as much as I pour my heart out and think that I making a nice gift by blogging about him, I really need to remember that Blogging is my thing and not his. He would be very happy to never be known of in the first place. I'm the one that obviously needs to stand on a mountain top and scream out "Here I am! Love me"! I'll open this question up to everyone. Do your spouses think it's very odd that you get excited by blogging and sharing everything. By the way, I really don't share "everything".

Post Pirating

Last week, I had a great(I thought so) post that I was going to do this week. I knew my topic and even had the title picked out. Then Sunday night as I was 'Marking All As Read', I saw my title on another Blogger's site. As I've mentioned before, I don't blog on the weekends anymore. However, I stopped and read it. And I thought to myself, "Are you f*&^#ing kiddin' me?" It was exactly what I wanted to write. Well, almost. Sadly, it was probably written better than what I would have done. At least in my mind. Here's the funny thing too. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote something and then started reading pieces from others posted hours before mine. And wouldn't you know it that this same person had something almost identical. So had that person read mine, I would have looked like a huge copy cat. So because I think this person is a fabulous writer and I never want to be accused of copying, I'm not doing my post topic.

After my Sister's passing

I went back to work the very next day. It was the wrong thing to do. Although I had a huge project to attack, looking back, it could have waited two or three more days. If you want to know what's basically happening in my life, read my blog. And although my boss has this site, I now know that he doesn't read it because he didn't mention my sister. Just so you know, I share my site with mostly everyone. It keeps me honest. Anyway, he gave me some assignments. I wrote them down. I left his office, misplaced my notes and then forgot about them. He emailed me a week later wanting updates. I felt like crap. It took me all of 15 minutes to gather the info that he needed but still, I felt like I had failed.

Also, as is common in our office, when something like that happens, usually a Supervisor will put word out to everyone about the loss. And although my site is out there, I still didn't want an email sent out. I know I'm nuts but I feel like it says, "Look at me! Pity me"! Although I do feel pity for some of you. I mean, I see how you think you can still use hunter green and burgundy in your design pallet. But I would never tell you that to your face. I have manners you know!

Anyway, I really should have let him send that email out. Because just when I feel I'm getting over it, I get another sympathy card in the mail from one of my caring co-workers who just heard. I think a ton of sympathy cards at one time would have been better than opening a card now, expecting to see Santa, and I see a Cross in the sky with doves flying around it. What an odd mail combination I'm getting these day. "Sorry for your loss. Ho Ho Ho"!

Is Christmas over yet?

I wonder if I'm actually depressed? I know, this has been what you all have been waiting for. Me to breakdown before you with tears flying all over the place like a Japanese cartoon character. Oh, but I won't give you that glory. I'm strong, dammit! You won't see me crack. Although that would increase my blog popularity. Last year and the year before, I was going nuts with Christmas posts. I couldn't stop myself. This year, have you seen one yet from me? No. It's just not in me.

And I want to thank all of you who reached out to me, via email, asking me how I was doing. You know who you are. You're the ones that I didn't reply to. I wanted to, really I did. I just couldn't go there. I thought it would be better to ignore the situation and continue writing funny posts and leaving vulgar comments on your blogs. You see, if I spend my day laughing, there is no time to cry.

Thank you for letting me get that all out there. I'm sure I'll get my "funny" back one of these days. I know I left it around here somewhere.

Your Friend, m.

Happy Birthday Fred

2011-12-16T08:07:00.000-05:00

I'm totally ga-ga over this guy.

He refused to let me photograph him properly so I'm stuck with pulling out old photos. The one above was taken in the Fall of 2010. And since I'm on a kick of showing you old photos this week, I'll continue it. Just deal, okay?

Yes, today is Papa's birthday. He's, well, old! I'm not gonna sugar-coat it. But my Fred is lucky. Only because the older he gets, the more attractive I find him. Sure, he was a total doll when I met him 21 plus years ago.

Don't you just love him!

But I'm not into boys. I'm no Sandusky. There is something about the lines in his face that drive me crazy. Or maybe it's his eyes. Although it's probably his nose. But it's most likely one of his other parts.

Visiting Fred's village in 1990

In my last post, you saw a photo of us on the day we met. I look like total hell in that photo because I didn't want to be at that party. Neither did Fred. But we were dragged there and we met at the door. I went with my Friend Rebecca and a friend named Chip. Inside, Chip said "I wanna meet that guy." I said, "I don't think so, Chip!" The party was a mix of everyone. Including kids around 20 who had rich parents, hated those parents, dressed like they were in the Cure, and thought they knew everything about the world. This was not my crowd.

Fred, my Mom and my Sister when she could still get around with a walker.

We talked all night. Mostly about our Families. I let him know that I had visited France while in high school and I did my best to try to remember the names of the towns. I failed miserably. He didn't seem to mind. I'm not sure he was interested in my brain anyway at that point. Good thing!

Fred, John and Roman, Summer 2000

When he and his friends were leaving the party to head back to the college, where they were studying and teaching for that year, we said our goodbyes. I was lost. I didn't know what to do so I kissed him. He looked shocked. I got scared. I asked the host, Don, if Fred was even Gay. Don said yes but that he was studying to be a monk. That wasn't about to stop me.

Fred with John and Claire in 2003

The following Monday, I called his college from my office.. I said, "This is Mark blah blah from the blah blah blah office in blah blah and I hosted a party this past Saturday evening and there was a French teacher from your college who attended. I wanted to thank him for coming and was wondering if you had his address" They proceeded to give me his life's story. I sent him a card. I wanted to text him but it hadn't been invented yet.

Fred and Claire in 2004

He wrote back immediately. I mean, I would too if I had a chance with hooking up with me. We planned a rendezvous. That's French for "let's get it on" I was still living at Home and not quite Out so I had to make up a lie for my Mom's sake. I told her that I was with Rebecca visiting her friends in NY. But in reality, I was traveling along the river and through the woods past Penn State to see Fred. When I got home, my Mom questioned why there were so many dead bugs on my windshield since I was in the city. I thought, "Who is she, Ms. Fletcher on Murder she wrote"? Either I came up with another lie which threw her off or Oprah came on. Whichever, the case was closed.

Fred, John and Claire. Epiphany 2006

That was about how it went for the next month. But in late May, his temporary teaching assignment was over and he had to return to France. I went to visit him in December. Still not Out, I told my Mom that I was travelling for work. I would call her from France( no caller i.d. back then ) so she wouldn't worry. She questioned if I got caught up in the rain storm that passed through last night. I said I slept right through it. See how scary it is to be in the closet. I hope some of you parents are taking notes.

Fred, Jacob and Joshua in 2009

For seven years, we flew back and forth to France and the U.S. to be together. Finally, in 1997, Fred got a job teaching at a local high school. Roman, our puppy back then, came to us soon after. In 1999, we bought a condemned Victorian in the city for a dollar(city program) and rebuilt it. John came to us in May of 2000 and so our Family began to form.

Fred and Joshua

Claire came to us in July of 2003. Thinking that we were moving to Reunion Island, we sold our house(for much more than one dollar) in 2004. We never moved to the island but it was too late to keep the house. If you drive past it today, it looks as if it's about to be condemned again.

Fred and Jacob

Also in 2004, Fred was no longer working and became a full time college student, again. We rented for about 18 months and purchased another condemned home and rebuilt it. It was and still is my dream home. I litterlaly poured blood, sweat and tears into that house. But we bought it as an investment and sold it as such in 2007. We took the profit, banked it and then downsized into where we are now. Then with a house 1/2 the size of the last one, we added two more children. I often think about how small this house is and how tight it is. Then I think that when this house was built in the 40s, the original owners probably had six kids shoved in here. Then I feel better, until I visit your blogs and see your Mansions. Then I hate myself and you. But I still leave a nice message. I'm kind like that.

Fred, Roman and Maggie

After six years, Fred finally started working again. The only thing that saved us, during that time, was the sale of that house in 2007. Four kids in private school and Fred in college, needless to say, we pinched pennies.

Most of the time

Fred receiving yet another package from Amazon

Although looking back, and perhaps I'm romanticizing it, but I don't remember struggling. All I remember is living. Alright, I do remember the stress. But I'm trying to block it from memory. So if you could not bring it up, I'd really appreciate it.

Taking a "boy's" desk and chckafying it.

It doesn't seem like almost 22 years. We really are good Friends. Everyone likes Fred. Sure, I'd like to strangle him sometimes. But then who would cook and do all the paperwork in the house? I gave up doing the bills years ago. And as far as cooking goes, forget about it!

The Triplets

We got a good thing going. And as hard as it's been to keep a bi-national relationship together, it's about to get a lot worse. Don't ask because I'm not telling you anything yet. But this coming year will prove to be our most difficult. I promise, as soon as I can tell you about it, I will.

All this, because I kissed him.

1992

But the important thing is that we have each other and we've overcome so many obstacles in the past 2 decades+ years. When you hear the story behind our story, you'll wonder how we made it at all. For any of you who already know what I'm talking about, this is not the time to discuss it.

2010

But it is the time for you all to wish Fred a Happy Birthday. And for those of you whose native tongue is French, I'm sure Fred would enjoying hearing from you. But don't go all "La-Ghetto" with your language either. Fred is a total snob when it comes to French. But don't let that scare you.

Fred's old man, m.

Not Ready. Not Yet.

2011-12-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

Meeting Fred. April 7th, 1990

Just recently, I was presented with the opportunity to be part of a larger blogging community. Basically, to join a group of like minded(sorta) bloggers. That sounds great and all, but part of it was to allow advertising on my site. It's not the first time that I was presented with something like that. And also, I've always thought about allowing ads here. But still, I'm not ready for it. Something inside me says that once I give in and do something like that, my whole way of blogging will change. And I don't want that to happen. Will it actually change? I'm not sure.

As I always do, I run my blogging thoughts through my blog-therapist, and longtime real life Friend, Lauren of Still+Life. Lauren introduced me to the world of blogging. I was a virgin until she had her way with me. Anyway, yesterday's session was on my blog controlling me. Would my writing style or topics change if I had advertisers? Would I be forced to promote their products? I suppose I have a billion questions but my point is, I don't want my blog to change. In fact, I'm anti-change! If you ever see a change on this site with how it looks, it's because Fred has logged on and found it boring. So he'll tweek it. I've written before how I enjoy the boring(ness) of it. It's real simple. I post a photo and I write about it. Anything fancier than that makes my head spin.

Meeting John. May 2nd 2000

And if change has to come, I prefer it to come slowly. Sudden moves make me nervous. A few months ago, I did a guest post over at Jessica's at FourPlusAnAngel. Because of that, I had like 20 new followers overnight. Although I loved doing that guest post and Jessica was so generous for opening her blog up like that for me, I don't see myself ever doing it again. Sure, you know I love Followers(guilty). But because I like to learn everything about them, seeing 20 new ones overnight was way too much for me to handle. I know, I sound like an ungrateful bitch, don't I? But suddenly, I had to(because that's me and I'm nuts) look back and check all these new folks out. Most of you stuck with me because really, you had no choice. I tend to be clingy and you can't get rid of me. It's sort of my thing. Some find it charming. Most find it creepy. So although I would love to have this blog go crazy-nuts with Followers, I think I'm better suited to the occasional one signing up at a time. Welcome Dawn!

Meeting Claire July 11, 2003

I enjoy my own personal style of writing and getting to know folks. I've mentioned before that if you go back to the beginning, I haven't changed how I write at all. I'm happy because of that. So for right now, I'm going to say no to Advertisers on this site. I won't be doing any more guest posts. I won't be linking up for writing cues or memes(what does that mean anyway?). I'm not holding any contests or promoting waffle irons or any such thing. And just recently, as you already know, I stopped with the weekend blogging which is heavenly. And, don't get pissed at me for this, but if I can't relate to your post, you don't want me to comment. That would be like lying to you. And that works both ways too. If my stuff doesn't interest you, don't feel like you even have to say "boo!" And for that matter, if you're totally bored with my blog, please feel free to bow out. I'm a big boy(now) and I can handle it. At least I think I can. Well hopefully. Maybe. We'll see!

Meeting Jacob and Joshua. April 7th 2009

As blogged about 400 million times before, I started this blog to journal the lives and growth of my children. I hardly go back and read old posts. Mostly because I fear stumbling over a two year old typo. However, when I do, I'm always surprised to see how little my kids were even only 2 years ago. And when they read this in the future, I'm sure they're be pretty annoyed if I do entire posts on the heath benefits on a Sharper Image foot massager. Even if Sharper Image did give me a free one to sample. Which I would love!

So I'm going to stay with what I know best, and that's my Family. I may have strayed once or twice, but I always come back. I don't know much about anything except them anyway. So why not stick to what I do know? I'm not closing the book on Advertising forever. I just might do it one day. Maybe even soon! But for today, I'm just fine. Now if Fred had his way, my blog would be a giant billboard. And I probably would have had a Sharper Image foot massager by now.

See you all on Friday.
Your Friend, m.

Gettin' down to the Nitty-Gritty

2011-12-09T07:47:00.001-05:00

With Special Guest, Melissa!

It's time to de-clutter again. As it is, I only have until January 14th to meet my goal of removing 365 things from this house. When last we met, I had 83 things to go. Are you nervous? I'm nervous! With each thing removed at this point, comes weeping and gnashing of teeth. What does "gnashing of teeth" mean anyway? You would think that I would actually take the time to understand phrases before I used them, wouldn't you? It doesn't sound pretty though. Will one of you rush to let me know what that is? Because right now, it's sounding major "drama queen" to me.

Anyway, yes, that's my old Friend Melissa sitting pretty up there on top. I gave up that chair and she wanted it so we made a deal.

Me: I don't want this chair anymore.

Melissa: I'll take it!

Me: What do I get out of it?

Melissa: Um, what?

Me: Well, you get a nice rattan chair and I walk away unsatisfied.

Melissa: Oh My! What could you possibly want?

Me: C'mon Melissa. We've been here before. You know what I want.

Melissa: Okay, but, um, you won't tell my husband will ya?

Me: And get my face punched in? Ah, I don't think so!

Melissa: Alright then. Just relax.

So she went ahead and gave me one of the best Mani-Pedis that I ever had. It was mind blowing!

Okay, it didn't actually go down like that. But as you can see from her face, I had her laughing and she could barely keep from busting a gut. So in reality, the payment for that chair was a photo and for me to totally abuse her on my site. "Thanks Girl"!

That photo was taken after our hike in November. Everyone came back to my house so she could pick up that chair. But I also wanted to give this picture and frame to her.

This was actually hers, and about 7 years ago, she gave it to me. Once upon a time, we had a huge house and I needed things to hang up on walls. This went into a hallway on our second floor. I was never in love with it but it was something. Plus, I had plan to remove the art at one point and re-purpose the frame. Never did! So it's been in my garage for the past four years or so. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted it back and she said yes. She also planned to remove the picture and put something else in there. And knowing Melissa, she probably found a piece of art that evening at some gallery and did it up that night. I'm just happy that it's gone from my life. One less thing to stick in a Tupperware container when I bite the bullet(crap! I meant dust).

They're wrong, you can buy happiness.

Joshua's toys

Did I ever tell you before that I buy the kid's toys from them? Well if not, I'm telling you now. "I buy the kid's toys from them". As much as I want them to actually care for and treasure their toys, they don't. And whenever something goes wrong in my life, I blame my Mom and Fred. Don't worry, they know I do. They're used to it. But you see, those two can't stop buying for the kids. I've been "Bad Cop" for almost 12 years now. I don't like my role but I've come to accept it as my lot in life.

Jacob's toys

There are times when I think to myself, "Gee Mark(I'm very polite when addressing myself), I wish it were me who took the kids on a shopping frenzy today". But then I look around at all the broken crap and that wish fades quickly. So unlike that whole "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" deal. Around here, it's more like "The Papa giveth and the Daddy taketh away". However, in my defense, I actually "buyeth" away.

Claire's toys

I know the kids don't play with 95% of what they have. And sadly, they mope around here saying that they're bored all the time. It gets to me. So to make us all happy. I pull out the wallet and they start circling. For each toy that they give to me, larger than a mug, I will give them a dollar. The scurrying begins!

Johnny's toys

Johnny has the most toys in the house. Not because he's been with us the longest, but because he is constantly asking for stuff. His favorite sentences begin with "Can you buy..." and "Will you take me...". It's enough to drive you batty. My Mom always says yes. Fred's split 50/50. Can you guess how I reply? Needless to say, he never comes to me to ask for anything anymore. So once again, I pay them to give up their toys that they're not using. It's a win-win situation. After I pay them, Fred takes them shopping. And yes, I understand that they are buying more things. But you see, they just gave up 26 huge things and may come back with a video game that's the size of my thumbnail. I'm about "space" people. I just would like to walk around my house and not trip over anything. Is that too much ask?

More clothes

Clothes are something that come in and go out constantly. I'd like to say that I'm ahead of the game but I'm sure I went right out and bought larger versions of this stuff shortly after this photo was taken. Still, I'm taking credit for this. If you are new to my personal de-cluttering challenge. I count stacks of clothes as One Item. Also, a pair of shoes is One Item. Just so you know, those three lone shoes did find their mates eventually. Sixteen more things!

No more babies.

Ikea dresser/changing table

I have no more babies in this house. Therefore, I have no need to plop up one of the kids on a table and change their diapers. In other words, I'm free!!!! Well, almost. But you get the idea. I advertised this on Craigslist. No responses. Three weeks later, I pulled it into the Family Room, down here in the dungeon and started using it to store toys and games and such. That evening, two people wrote to me inquiring about it. I hesitated but I told them that they could come and see it. The first couple showed up and it will work for them. They were super sweet and I'm glad it's going to a nice home.

I bought that bed, in the background, a couple of years ago. The "old me" like to shop for items that he didn't need. I still love it and I just put it there as I was moving it from the garage to the basement. I don't usually stand brass beds up against our fireplace.

Don't feel bad for him.

This was a bike that my Mom's neighbor left behind last year when they moved out. John brought the bike home but it needed work in order to ride it. It was never fixed and he has another one so I told him that if he wanted to keep it, to take it to my parents. I'd rather it rust down there than at my house.

That's it! 46 things gone!
Those toys aren't the biggest things in the house, but put them all together and they fill up a couple of containers. I'm not kidding when I say that it so nice being able to walk around and not have stuff everywhere. And then of course, getting rid of that chair, bike and dresser, freed up a lot of space. To be honest, I love that chair. But you see, I didn't need it. So I gave it away. If I were bossy, which I'M NOT, but if I were, I would suggest that you free yourself of unused things too. Even if you do like them. I promise you that it's a better feeling than storing it. And would I lie to you? Well, maybe. But I don't have a reason to. So there!

46 things gone.
37 more things to go.
And because you've all been so good lately, you deserve some music. Plus, I saw a lot of my Family this week and it brought back some great memories of trailer court family get-togethers. I wish my kids could experience how great those days were.

Your Friend, m.

November's Photo Dump

2011-12-06T07:34:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna take it easy on you this month.

Generally speaking, it was a slow month. And then of course, it ended with a crappy bang. And during this time, I decided that after I finish December's Photo Dump, I'm done with monthly ones and will only do it when I have about 10 or so photos. I realize that looking at 30 photos + is overwhelming. Spell checking those long posts is more than overwhelming. So I'll do something like Periodic Pictures Posts or something like that. We'll see. I have no real plan yet.

Thank again for all your wonderful comments and emails sent to me last week. I used your comments as my personal therapy. And no, you can not bill me for that. I'm sure you owe me somewhere along the line anyway. So we'll call it even. Let's start!

Shadow Dancing

I met a guy. No, not that way. A real life photographer came into the office who was going to do a shoot for a group that was meeting there. I pounced on him immediately! There are things, technical, that I do not know about photography and whenever I see someone who looks like they know something, I'm all over them. So I asked him a question about his equipment... and he ended up spending an hour talking to me. Later, we hooked-up downtown during the evening to shoot. It's been years since I've been downtown after 7PM. It was wild! But what he taught me for free was greatly appreciated. I have major issues shooting in very low light/the dark. I won't go on and on but I owe him a world of thanks. If you ever need a real photographer for a wedding or such, look him up. Here's his site. I can tell you now that I'm just not ready for formal weddings.

ZUMBA

That's my baby girl shaking her groove thing. One of the Brownie Moms teaches Zumba and she invited the girls to a class. If you can't tell, that's me in the mirror with the flash.

I don't know why this woman is picking weeds and putting them into her container. But when I saw her doing this, I just felt it was photo worthy. That's it. Nothing else. Please move on.

Zoo America

I escorted Claire and her brownie troop down to Hershey Zoo earlier in the month. I can only speak for myself but I find this the most boring zoo in the world. I could be wrong considering that I've not yet visited every zoo in the world. Maybe there's a suckier one. Who knows!

Johnny went with us.

The twins were with my Mom and John was bored so I invited him to go. I won't make that mistake twice. From the moment we got there, he was asking when we were leaving. Not even his DS could make him happy. But I got this surprise shot of him standing against this wall. My 11 year old baby is now 5'4". Sometimes I wear his coats. I would like to wear his Hollister jeans but sadly, I don't have a 28 inch waist.

Can you see the bison?

You can stop looking. They're not there. During the flood this past Summer, one drowned and because they didn't have time to get the other one out of this pen, they shot it.

Stumped

Over the Summer, I kept walking by, what was a tree with a tire swing on it. Every time that I saw it, I kept thinking, I should photograph that because it screams "Summer". But I never did and then a big wind came down along the river and knocked the tree over. So now you get to see a stump. Likewise with this one.

This tree was gorgeous all year round and for a few years now, I thought that it would be nice to shoot this tree in every season so that you could see what it looks like all the time. The tree behind it fell and the township decided to cut both down. So now I really do try to photograph what I want when I see it. You may say that it's only a tree. But the same goes with people. One day they are here and blossoming and then the next day, cut down. So, take a picture, it lasts longer.

During one of our hikes.

A very nice lady took our photo while we were hiking. Unless I make people take my picture, I'm rarely in them. So when people offer, I jump on the opportunity.

This won't be on our Christmas Card.

I know that I shouldn't laugh but, poor Claire, it looks as if she's about to vomit. Our actual Christmas Card came from this outing. First, Fred rejected it but then after realizing that I wasn't going to organize the kids again for another shoot, he accepted it. You'll see it eventually.

Coming to America

Only a month in the country from the Dominican Republic, Mariangel is now one of Claire's new friends. She and her Mom just moved four doors down. For never speaking English until November of this year, she does quite well. Soon I'll be asking her how to use lie and lay properly in a sentence. "Cuz my English ain't so good". But my "American" is perfect!

I love a Parade!

I actually don't "love" them but as the kids get older and I'm not as worried about people walking off with them, I'm starting to like these things again. So last month's parade was actually kind of nice. And I really enjoyed when these guys came marching through.

Ah, it makes me miss the 70s. Real bad! Not that I was doing "anything" in the 70s but still. Movember should last all year round.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Everyday Life, mailed a homemade loaf of bread to me that arrived the day before Thanksgiving. On her site, she showed how she made the bread. I don't cook but I commented something like, "I don't cook but if you could send one to me, I'd really appreciate it". So she did! I love getting gifts from blogger friends. So far, I've received art, chocolates, and soap and jam from Anke. But I just looked and I have over 200 Followers. So, what's up with the rest of you? And thanks Becca. It was delicious!

I could really go for one of these!

Too bad they're all empty. Well, except for the one that holds a bag of peas. I told my Friend Fern(Anthony) that he needed to hire me to clean his loft. Anthony struggles with domestic activities. So I went over there and he wasn't home yet and I snapped this photo. You should have seen the rest of the house. But oddly, he wouldn't let me take any more photos. Hmmm?

She's smart too!

But when you're pretty, you don't have to worry about books and learning stuff. Still, she loves to learn. Oh well! When I grow up, I want to be just like Claire. No, I don't mean having two grown men bend over backwards to please me. Although.... I'm just saying that she's pretty cool and she's gorgeous too. And although we can't go anywhere without people talking about and wanting to touch her hair, she hates her curls. Did I mention that she's nuts too?

Paula doesn't live here anymore.

My Dad, Johnny and I went out last week to clear out Sis's room. I was a little upset to see her name already gone under her room number. I wanted to save it. I don't know why, I just did.

But there it is, her whole life, now in five plastic containers.

Let me leave you with something happy.

Jacob, Luke, Kaseem and Joshua

Kids are coming out of the woodwork around here. Every five seconds, the doorbell is ringing or I'm walking though the house and there goes another one running by me. It really is hard for me to keep track of their names but I'm trying. I'm just happy that my kids have lots of buddies to pal around with. I'd like to move but I'd feel mean moving the kids away from so many neighborhood friends. So I guess I'm stuck here for awhile.

Done!

I told you that would be fast and easy this month. If you're new here and leave a message for me, make sure you plug in your email address or a link back to your site. I received some nice comments during last week's post but I'm unable to write back to say Thank You.

Your Friend, m.

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"

2011-12-02T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's been a shitty week

I know, I wrote a bad word. But I just had to get that out. Everyday this week I'm talking death and making some sort of "arrangement". Leave it to my Sister to die at a most inconvenient time. I mean, I had some laughing out loud blog posts to share with you all. But now it's all gloom, gloom, gloom. You people do know that I'm joking, right? It's actually all awful but I deal with life and death through humor. Seriously, who wants to hear someone whine all the time? I know I certainly don't. Plus, frowning gives you wrinkles and I'm not ready for those. Well, any more of those that is.

The last thing that I ever wanted to be when I grew up was an only child. So this is sort of sucking right now. You can ask my Mom, I was good little boy. My Sister was the rebel. As soon as I left home, I took advantage of my non-acne face and hit the town running, while my Sister met someone and calmed down. Only by the grace of God did I survive the 80's. You can figure that one out yourself. I can only assume that my mission was to grow old and provide for these children that God has sent my way. What else could it be? But all this week, I've been thinking about keeping safe and staying alive. I don't think my parents could handle any more of this crap.

I worked on Monday and Tuesday. I had a huge project to get done and I had set aside those two days, weeks ago, to accomplish it. I found it therapeutic to work and keep busy. But everyone around me was telling me that I needed to take time off. So I've been off since Wednesday. I should have stayed at work because I hate wondering around this house with nothing to do but think. Thinking is overrated. No wonder I've avoided it for years.

My Mom is having a rough time of it. She says that she has her "moments". My Dad has kept busy like me. We're both firm believers in don't ask, don't tell. But I'm sure he has his "moments" too. Plus, they have my Aunts and neighbors dropping in on them. Fred keeps wanting to talk about my feelings. Ugh. "Feelings" work my nerves. Who needs them! Remember, deep down inside, I'm still a Republican. I've learned to control those pesky emotions. I just think Fred wants me to crack and breakdown so he can comfort me. Maybe I'll do it just for him. I'll fake it.

The outpouring of love and caring from the community through Facebook or the on-line obituary and on this blog was overwhelming. Yesterday, I gave a group "Thank you" to those on Facebook. And because I was in no mood to reply to all your comments this week, please accept this as a most sincere Thank You to you. I'm always impressed with the effort that you all put into your comments on this site. It's like having a conversation with you and that's good for me. Also, I received comments from total strangers and over this next weekend, I will reach out to them personally. They didn't need to reveal themselves but they did. Kind souls. Plus, thank you to all of you who let me know through private emails or through those comments about your personal stories similar to mine. I know I'm not alone.

Okay, during my alone time, I got out there to shoot some random photos. It may be a downer so if you're not in the mood, just avoid it. I promise to be back to my 'trying to be funny, talking nonsense' self next week.

Your Friend, m.
p.s. If you want to leave a funny or snarky comment, I'm so ready for it now.

Free at last; Free at last!

2011-11-28T06:30:00.001-05:00

Paula Michele Himes - 1970-2011

My Sister, Paula, passed away over the weekend. For half of her life, my Sister has been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis. Finally, her body grew tired of fighting and she let go. My Sister was my oldest and dearest Friend on this planet. I shared all of my secrets with her. Even the big ones! I knew that I could trust her. In her youth, she was feisty and vibrant and she spoke her mind. She feared nothing. She was kind and everybody loved her. They loved her because she had a gentle heart.

It hurts to write about this but I do call my blog a journal and this is a part of life. I am happy that my Sister can move on. I hated to see her suffer for so long. She had faith and I believe that she is in a better place. In fact, we both came into the Catholic Church in our late 20s. We weren't raised in any organized religion and my parents are still scratching their heads on where they went wrong in bringing us up.(you can laugh)

As you can imagine, this is not easy for my parents. I can't even finish this thought. I'm sure you can figure out, on your own, what they are going through right now.

It's Sunday evening and I'm so tired of thinking. Maybe I'll write more later. If you are new to this site, following is what I posted on my Sister's birthday this past January which actually was copied from the previous January.

For those of you who already heard this news over the weekend and reached out to me, thank you very much.

Your thoughts and prayers for my parents would be greatly appreciated.

If you leave some kinds words, thank you. But I don't think I can't bring myself to respond to those comments.

Paula's brother, m.

Note: This is from January

My Sister Paula turns 41 today.

Have you ever seen a cuter child before? The answer's "No Mark, I haven't." just in case you were thinking about it.

Because I'm lazy, I'm just going to cut and paste my post from last year. Nothing has really changed from then. Wait! I take that back. Last year, I mentioned my paternal Grandmother a few times. She passed last April so I guess something did change. Something big.

I love my sister as much as I love my children. To see her suffer, kills me. But life goes on. She suffers from Multiple Sclerosis. If she needed a kidney or something like that, I'd cut mine out myself and hand it over to her. But there is nothing that I can do for her except to visit and hold her hand. And while visiting her, I also take the opportunity to yell at the staff at the nursing home. But I will say this for them. Since my family is there everyday and will speak our minds when we need to, her care has gotten a lot better.

I am no Debbie Downer and I'd much rather write a post where she is healthy, maybe three times married and I could complain about her bratty children. But none of that ever became reality and so this is what you get instead. I try to make light of every situation, including death sometimes, but I can only do so much. So with all that said, I give you my Sister Paula.

Today is my Sister Paula's Birthday. As you can see, she's gorgeous and always has been. I can tell by my Ikea table(which sits in the basement for the kids now) and that radiator cover in the background, that this picture was taken in 1992 or 1993 when I lived at Riveriew Manor in Harrisburg. And because it's that time, Sis(we all call her that) had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis for about two years by then. I think that she could still walk with some assistance. But to do anything quickly, we pulled that wheelchair out.

What's funny is that her birthday is shared with the Feast Day of Saint Paula(what a drama queen) who died on this day in 404. I'm sure that Fred knows this. He likes to retain useless information. My Mom will probably call now and say that she knew that too. But no, Paula(Sis) was named after my Mom's uncle Paul who died in WWII and her brother Paul who died in the early 90s of Cancer. The name doesn't have a good track record.

So I wanted to Post something special for my beautiful little sister. I made a video at the bottom. You'll see that she was quite vibrant before she got sick. In school, Sis was very popular. She hung out with kids much older than the both of us; the cool kids. It was totally backwards. She pulled me into her circle. There would be no way that I would hang out at the courts or the Handy Market(a local chain store that went away years ago) by myself. Without her, her friends would look at me and think "what is he doing here? Doesn't he know how this cool thing works?" But let me tell you something about those "cool" friends. When she got sick and her health started to decline, those friends that she had for years slowly stopped visiting until there were none. The worst part is that she was aware of this, at that time. Who didn't stop visiting her and has stayed with her all of these 20+ years is her long time companion, Steve. We are so grateful for him.

There are only two of us. I think that if you have always been an only child, you don't know anything different. But if you have sisters or brothers, hold onto them as long as you can. Don't be a jerk and hold grudges. You'll regret it. Especially if you only have one sibling. I continually remind the kids how lucky they are to have each other. Hopefully they get it.

The following picture is of Sis and my Gran in the mid-90s-ish. I'm not quite sure when but it was obviously before both became too ill to be properly cared for at home. They now are just 100 yards and one floor away from each other at the nursing home.

Don't laugh at my Mom's furniture, Country was "in". Actually, it wasn't. I'm just trying to make her laugh since I'm sure she's balling her eyes out right about now.

Okay, so what have we learned?

Sis was beautiful
She was cool
Saint Paula needed a man in the worst way
Sis's friends were all Asses.
Steve should be a saint himself
Call your siblings already. This is that sign you've been waiting for. Hello?
Furniture with a pumpkin design has never been "in"

Enjoy the video below. It is mostly of my sister and me together over the years. At least I hope that it's me and my sister. Some of the pictures are so old and beat up, it's hard to tell. Family, don't point out any mistakes.

Okay, here is the video. I tried to put the photos into some type of order by year. I may have messed up. Family,once again, if I did, don't let me know. I prefer ignorance.

People, I almost forgot! My parents didn't have three kids. There were just tons of cousins always with us. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Mom, time to grab another box of tissues.

Happy 40th Sis.
Your Friend and Brother, Mark

Added: 01/26/11:
Happy 41st Birthday Sis. Love, Mark

Added 11/27/11:
"Sis, you were the best Sister a brother could ask for and I'll love you forever. Do me a favor and send my love to Uncle Paul".

"And give kisses to the Grans and Tete for me".

"I miss you all so much. Don't have fun till I get there"!

Mark

Harrisburg Holiday Parade

2011-11-25T08:05:00.001-05:00

It was either this or scrubbing toilets. And I was outvoted.

Just kidding. This is a fun thing to do and the kids really love to go. If for nothing else, something different to do. This was last Saturday.

It's not the biggest parade in the world but you still have to get there early if you want a good spot. It was to start at Noon so I decided to go down around 10:30 to secure our place. Because you had to wait, I told Fred that I would go down, set up our chairs and just hang out. He could bring the kids down closer to the start time. I just didn't want them to hang out in the cold.

Claire wanted to come with me and although I tried to talk her out of it, she insisted. Which worked out well since I was carry a ton of folding chairs. I do this every year and the children never sit on them. Please, one of you remind me next year that this is unnecessary. I won't believe you so you'll have to send this link back to me. Okay?

It was a good thing that we drove down early because the traffic was already building up. But we arrived and I loaded up my 45lb daughter with folding chairs and we started walking. After a block, I was carrying 5 folding chairs and one tired daughter.

Crap that I didn't buy for the kids.

While starting to set up, I hear my name and coming across the street was my cousin Ronece's husband, Ted. They had arrived even earlier with their six kids and invited me to go and sit with them. That was great! "Thanks Ronece".

Oh, Hi Officer! Thanks for posing for me.

As always, it was freezing cold. And also as always, I forgot that the City tends to be colder and windier than up at our house. So, Claire was cold because I forget to put a hat on her. I called home and told Fred to make sure the others had a hat and to grab something out of the box for Claire. I'm glad that I called him in time.

Not the Mayor. But she may have been the Master of Ceremonies.

Fred arrived shortly before the parade started, dropped off the boys and a hat for Claire and got the hell out of there. Yes, this was all on me and Fred wanted nothing to do with it. It's okay, we take turns and know when each other needs a break.

So the parade started with the Master of Ceremonies introducing the Mayor. Mind you, I don't live in the City and she is not my mayor. However, when introduced, a large portion of the crowd booed her which I thought was horrible manners. Once again, she is not my mayor but I think it is terribly disrespectful to boo someone.

This is the chick that interviewed me during Halloween.

Still, the parade started and the kids really had a great time watching everything. And I stayed back guarding my perfectly arranged folding chairs that sat empty and patting myself on the back for being so organized.

I stood in middle of the parade for this shot. Yes I did and so what?

And I was so proud of the kids too. Not for one second did they ask for junk food or to buy some carni-crap. They know from years past that my answer is always "no", so they don't even bother. Ah, they're finally learning.

A fun snack that my kids didn't have. But I did let them look at it.

And we were having a great time, despite the cold, and until you-know-who showed up.

Seriously folks, I'm still trying to get one of them to write something for me/you. I'm even following the guy I interviewed, with the green hat, on Twitter and still, nothing. I won't stop though. Because I did promise you.

I love a good sense of humor.

Aren't the kids the cutest! Honestly, just look at that girl in the middle.

The hat Fred chose for Claire. This is why I'm in charge of clothes around here.

Elvis isn't dead. He lives in Harrisburg.

Pretty talented, huh?

I told the kids, the more noise that they made with cheering and applauding, the more people would throw candy at them.

They listened!

I love when people pose for me.

Let the Season begin!

Afterwards, the downtown Mall offered cookies and hot chocolate. I stood in line with the other beggars waiting for my free handout. Now I know what the 99% feel like.

But we took a moment to sit and eat our free grub and we were out of there.

While trying to leave the parking garage, I was waiting forever and these very nice folks let me move my car in. Since I was ahead of them, I decided to pay a few dollars of their parking fee. Then, I let someone back up and get in front of me since they were waiting forever. When I arrived to pay, the people that I let in, paid $5.00 of my fee. So I paid it forward and I would like to think that others did the same.

Enjoy the vid. But watch it in at least, 720hd, or it will look blurry.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. My Mom and Aunt cooked and all I did was wash the dishes and then I took a nap in my parent's bed. It was heaven. And no, I did not nap between my Mom and Dad. You're sick!
Your Friend, m.

Go take a hike!

2011-11-21T07:41:00.001-05:00

In fact, we took two of them.

Last week, I had mentioned that I took the kids on a hike on that previous Saturday. And then the very next day, my Friend, Melissa asked me to go on another one.

These are some of the photos from those two days. First, Saturday and then on to Sunday with Melissa and her crew.

I give strict orders to my kids, when they turn six or seven, not to smile at me until those teeth grow back in. And this photo should explain why.

See, doesn't he look better with his mouth closed?

Curly, Moe and Larry

Don't ask me why she's looking so sad. I allow her to smile now.

"Walking on Sunshine"

This is now one of my favorite photos ever. Being "asked to leave" Catholic school was the best thing that could have happened to Johnny. I just didn't know it at the time. In his new school, where there are thousands of kids, he's found his own group and is allowed to be himself for the most part. John can't handle other folk's ideas of the way things need to be. And to see him play with Claire, joyfully, is beyond anything that I could have ever hoped for in him.

And I think, with him being allowed to express himself, it is bringing him out of his depression. I don't want to jinx anything but this has been a wonderful year for him. Full of smiles!

Getting tired of me taking his picture.

Don't worry kids, we'll do this again some day.

Like the very next day!

Melissa

Melissa and I, both, have very small houses. So when we get together and all of our kids are with us, it's usually outside where the kids can run and go nuts. And where I'm not yelling at them.

And not only did we have our crew, but Johnny's friend, Darius, came out with us.

We like him. He's funny!

Scarlet and Darius

Claire and Isabella

A lot of my photos came out blurry. I'm a lazy photographer and usually keep my camera on Auto. But I met an actual photographer who is forcing me not to be so lazy and to work on Manual. So for this past month, it's all I've been doing. I'm a slow learner and so this process isn't easy for me. But I guess I have to grow up sometime.

Awe, I heart you too little Salamander dude.

John and Amias

Scarlet, Claire and Isabella

Scarlet and her Mama, my Friend Melissa(with a sassy new Do!)

And that's it! Except now I'm going to make you sit through a video. If you saw this one last year, you may be excused. But the rest of you have to watch it if you want credit. It counts for 40% of your grade. Around this same time last year, Melissa and I did a similar walk. I hope you enjoy it.

Your Friend, m.
p.s. I'll have you know that I didn't blog this weekend. It felt so good not thinking about it.

Dear Birth Mother

2011-11-18T07:58:00.002-05:00

In honor of National Adoption Day and Month

I think about you everyday. Every time that I look at these children, you are in my thoughts. Never, for one moment, did I not want you in my head like you are. I think about what you gave to us. Two of you had a plan. One of you had no choice. Still, you do receive the photos that I send to you. And I keep safe, the letters and the photos that you send to us. One day we'll meet and we'll be best friends. Take my word for it.

These children are everything to us. They are our lives. Our Simple Lives. If not for my old photos, I would forget what my life was before them. They take everything from me. Or perhaps I give too much of myself. Either way, I'm dog-tired. But when they are not here, I am lost. What will I do when they are grown and gone? Since I live and breathe them, I fear that I will become nothing and might simply float away.

As it is, two of them are growing up faster than I care to think. Yesterday, I carried them around in a sack while I vacuumed the house. Then I blinked and today, I escorted one to a school dance. That was fast! No, I don't want them to be babies again. It's just hard to believe that I'll have a teenager soon.

I had no idea how to parent when I began this journey in 2000. But quickly, I learned the ropes. Now I'm an old pro.

For you that planned this life out for your children, I pray that you are still pleased with that decision. And for you who struggled to hold onto your children, please know that they are safe and loved. And when that day comes when you finally see them again, I promise you that you will be quite pleased with how your babies turned out. Even though you didn't raise them, you gave them a beautiful life. And that's what good Mothers are suppose to do.

You are not forgotten.
Your Friend, m.

I'm no weekend blogger

2011-11-15T07:56:00.000-05:00

I'm not a fly-by-night one either

I really do try to keep up with you. But sometimes, I become overwhelmed and can't do it. If you're one who keeps your blog to journal about your personal life, I work hard to follow along. I remember your names and everyone around you. And if I miss one episode(blog post), I get worried that I missed something big. I feel, if you are going to reveal yourself to me, I'd be an awful friend(blogger friend) not to pay attention.

Perhaps if you started each post with "Previously on...." I could keep up. During the week, I'm do pretty well with following you. But when the weekend comes, I'm "The Biggest Loser". Monday through Friday(like right now) comes with schedules. But Saturday and Sunday are all over the place. Well, Saturday mornings are pretty busy with cleaning and organizing the house. This Saturday was especially busy since I went through the kid's clothes. Come Noon, I was beat. We have down-time but Johnny wanted to go out. I told him that if he went out, not to come back until 2:30. I know, that does sound rough, but I needed to rest and not have John and his friends walking all through the house making noise. The little ones were hanging out here in the Family Room and I went upstairs. I actually took a 1.5 hour nap. It was heavenly. After that, I took the kids on a hike on a local trail. Before you knew it, it was time for supper, showers, a quick show and then bedtime.

I went to Mass(by myself) on Sunday morning. It was peaceful. I liked it. Back home, set the table and Fred had dinner ready by Noon. My Friend Melissa called to see if I wanted to go hiking with her and her kids around 3PM. I did. We rested and then went hiking. At 5 o'clock, I sat down here on the computer and opened my Google Reader to see what you've been up to. I commented on two blogs and then gave up. Don't hate me but I Marked As Read, 97 posts. It was horrible and refreshing all at the same time. There was no way that I was going to spend Sunday night on the computer. I just couldn't do it.

As mentioned, there are schedules during the week and that leaves me with known time to visit you. But the kids have a lot of free time on the weekends and I give all I have to them. As it is, I spend a lot of time blogging. I used to post three or four times a week. And when I had my photo blog, it was every single day. I can't do it. My time doesn't belong to me. Perhaps in 10 years or so but certainly not now. If you can stay with me that long, I promise to bombard you with daily posts come 2020 or so. But for right now, I can only do a couple of posts a week. Remember what I told you before? You can have it all, just not all at the same time. I'm trying to live by my own words.

Right now, I do tons of things with my children and take millions of photos of our domestic adventures. My only regret is that because I want to keep this blog timely and I can't keep up, you'll never see most of those photos and I'll never have time to journal for the kids to read in the future. It's my own struggle. And writing it right now is my way or working through it. But don't worry, it's all cool!

I really appreciate you reading though my thoughts on this Monday night. Fred has the kids right now and they are out shopping for something. I don't even ask any more. Here's something funny. During my last post, I lost a Follower. I used to get so upset when that would happen. I know, it's ridiculous but I'm being honest with you. Anyway, I'm not sure who it was or what I said to piss them off. I noticed it but I no longer care. See, I'm making progress! Baby steps, people.

My intention this weekend, while hiking with the kids, was to take hundreds of photos of Autumn Leaves and then put them into a video/slide show. But because of the snow a couple of weeks ago, our beautiful leaves fell quickly and really, all I could fine, were the last remaining in the photos above.

See you soon.
Your Friend, m.

Type 2 Control Freak. Moi?

2011-11-10T13:01:00.001-05:00

"Everybody wants to rule the world"

As I was leaving the house this morning, Fred was working on the same Excel Spreadsheet that he's been working on forever. Two weeks ago, I asked him a question about Excel. Since then, he has been working on it non-stop. At this point, he has created a spreadsheet that is so advanced, that it would take me an entire Semester to understand how it's built. If you recall in my last post, I let you know that I'm not the biggest fan of learning stuff. And if you put me in any sort of classroom setting, brick building or on-line, I'm a total mess. On the other hand, Fred is a born, and trained, teacher and can't get that out of his system. Therefore, I've learned, over 21 years, not to ask him questions for fear that he might actually answer. And he won't just answer with a sentence, he'll go on and on and on and on until I feel like taking a steak knife and stabbing it into my chest.

So upon exiting for work today, I "innocently..." told him to stop worrying about my question because I didn't care anymore and to start organizing the house because it was falling apart. My final minute while trying to get out the door wasn't pretty. When I arrived at work just a few minutes later, this was in my In-Box:

Sent: Thursday, November 10, 2011 8:04 AM

To: Mark

Subject: FYI :): house falling apart!?????

Type 2 Control Freaks: The Type 2 control freak is also trying to manage their anxiety but they are very aware of you as opposed to the Type 1 control freak. The Type 2 needs to diminish you to feel better. Their mood rises as they push you down. They do not just want to prevail; they also need to believe that they have defeated you. They need you to feel helpless so they will not feel helpless. Their belief is that someone must feel helpless in any interchange and they desperately do not want it to be them. The Type 1 needs control. The Type 2 needs to control you.

And then he added this photo:

True, I might have a teeny tiny issue with control. Although it's so small that you hardly ever notice... But here's the deal, everything would fall apart if someone didn't control it. So it might as well be me, right?

Fred called a little later and said, "Hey, what do you think about what I sent to you"?

I said, "Thanks for giving me something to blog about".

It's about time he helped out with the material on this site.

Now go make your husbands happy and get that house cleaned. And a little make-up wouldn't hurt either!

You're welcome!

Your Friend, m.

p.s. Let me know if you need any more advice on how to be a good wife. I'm full of it. Advice that is!!!

Interview with an Occupier

2011-11-07T07:56:00.001-05:00

Just like Fox News, I'm fair and balanced.

In my last post, I did a fake conversation with a handful of folks from the Harrisburg Occupy Movement. Most of you didn't comment on it. A few of you agreed with me and some spoke up.

And I was thrilled to know that those I suspected of reading this blog, actually came forward to say "shame on you, Mark". But I was so happy to have folks actually engage me and even disagree. If you don't already know, I lean to the Right on a lot of issues. Don't start with me. I know how odd it sounds for a Gay man to say that. But with that said, I'll have you know that I'm actually a Democrat. However, I only became one in 2007 or 08 during the Primary when I felt the need to vote against Hillary Clinton. But because of my laziness in not changing back, I remain one, but only on paper. I'll get back to "normal" soon. So whatever you have to yell at me about, believe me, Fred is doing that on your behalf. And as I wrote before, there is no bigger Liberal than a French one.

Jim of Ocean Breezes basically said that instead of just imagining what they would say, to go and sit with them and I might be surprised. I agree. My conversation was completely imaginary. But that's what made it funny. I never claimed to be speaking the truth and until today, never actually sat down with any of these people from the Movement and to hear them out.

So I responded back to Jim and the others(some emailed me directly) who said that I was being unfair and told them that I would make it a point to meet up with some members of the Movement and try to figure out what they are all about. Sunday afternoon, I drove downtown to a site that the Movement had sat up along Riverfront Park in Harrisburg. At first I met up with a guy(not pictured) and introduced myself. After about 5 minutes, I could tell that he had no information and was simply mad at the world because he is not successful. He had no facts at all to give me other than to point out how the wealthy should share their money. I questioned him about what he was doing to try to "make it" and then he got mad at me, called me "Negative" and then walked away. I then went to find someone else who I knew must know something. I stumbled across these folks pictured who spent about an hour and a half talking about the Movement.

I took pages of notes and can tell you that I have never felt so unprepared and uninformed in all my life. By the way, I handed my camera over to one of their friends and directed him to take photos. Oh yes I did! He was happy to oblige. Oh my God! I forgot the most important part. When I approached these folks, I told them all about my one-sided conversation on my blog, gave them my card(web address and email address). I told them that I wasn't really on their side but I was open to listening to them and to spread their word. It's called "honesty", people. Upon that, they were happy to talked to me. In fact, they could be reading right now. And I hope that they are.

I really did feel it was important to share with them like that. I didn't want them to think that I was "faking" being on their side or that I was a news reporter or something. You know what, I just remembered something else. There was a local news crew there filming us while we were speaking. If I find any clips of myself, I'll post them. It was WHP by the way if anyone can find me in a clip.

Anyway, as mentioned, I took tons of notes and I have to take my time going through them. One thing that I did not expect to come out of this meeting was homework. These guys totally inundated me with information that I now have to research. Ugh! I should have initiated the conversation with "I hate learning. Now please tell me about...." The poor guys, they thought that they were talking to someone who had at least a basic understanding of the world. I did let them know that I was quite comfortable in my little suburban bubble. In fact, they invited me to a rally which is happening as I type here on Sunday night. They said it started at 7PM and to bring the kids. "Yeah right", I told them. "That's when I'm getting the kids ready for bed and plus, there's a new Desperate Housewives on tonight". I honestly told them that. They did laugh. Probably more out of pity but still, I choose to think that they thought I was witty.

But I did try to take in as much info as I could. And then I went into what I thought they were saying and what I found wrong about their logic. Listen, I wasn't dealing with dummies here so my argument had to be based on facts, as I knew them. It was a great debate and we all treated each other with absolute respect. I am grateful for that.

Okay, I woke up this morning and my entire paragraph that was in this spot is gone. I don't know where it went to. But basically, this is what I wrote last night. Because I don't want to misquote these folks, I invited them to email me. The guy seated with me is in some sort of Google Connect something or other. Anyway, instead of me writing what I think that they are trying to say, I encouraged them to submit to me personal Statements about what the Cause is all about. This gentleman has my email address and said that he would send the word out for Statements. My hope is that I can get some Statements to simply copy/paste into a Post for you all to see. That way, my blog can be their voice. Even if it's just a whisper.

Andreson Cooper can suck it!

Sorry if this post was a big pile of rambling and typos. I don't have time tonight to organize it.

Your Friend, m.
"Okay Jim, are you proud of me yet"?