Our Simple Lives...

Denied

2012-02-24T07:39:00.003-05:00

I was wanting to write about Girl Scout Cookies today but that will have to wait until Monday. However, since you've all been asking, I felt it was time for you to know. If you don't mind though, I'd rather not talk about the details just yet. So if you have any in-depth questions, I probably won't answer them today. Just know that our attorney has started the Appeals process. And now it really begins.

Please come back for updates on us or visit Stopthedeportations.com for stories about many other Families like ours. Well, not as cute, obviously, but in the same situation.

Thank you for contacting Senator Bob Casey and Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, on our behalf.

Have a good weekend.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Fred has finally stopped watching Glee. See, it's not all bad news today.

Happy Birthday, Bitch!

2012-02-22T12:13:00.000-05:00

Maggie! Not Fred!

Yep, today is the demon dog's birthday. She's six years old! And I couldn't care less. But on Monday, Fred emailed this to my Calendar.

Title:	ANNIVERSAIRE MAGGIE
When:	Wed Feb 22, 2012 (EST)
Where:	Blessed Art Thou Amongst B*tches
Who:	Fred
	more details »
	Going? Yes - Maybe - No

Hiding from my camera.

And then Fred told me to blog about it. And I asked, "Seriously?" He said that I had to. And so I said "Fred, if I do, I'm going to get all kinds of comments from DogBloggers. Those people are nuts! They write as if their animals are talking. I'll see comments like "Woof, Woof!" and "You can bark up my tree anytime, baby!" And he just stood there staring at me like that's a "normal" thing to do. Just then, I remembered that Fred is a DogPerson and if he were to have a personal blog, he would be King of the DoggieBloggers.

So I said okay and I set out to take some snapshots of Maggie to post. We couldn't find a party hat so I tried sticking a bow on her head to make her look more festive. She didn't like that one bit and kept knocking it off. So Claire volunteered to show that it wouldn't hurt her.

After a few shots, I was able to get something.

That's her happy face. Or sad one. Who cares!

But then she ran off and Fred tried coxing her back with some cheese.

She wasn't going for it. So, Claire stepped in again to show her how it's done.

Sit! Good girl!

After about two minutes, because that's all the patience that I have with dogs at 7:30 at night, Fred gathered the children over for a "sort of" Family photo. Sadly, this one was the best out of the batch.

It is what it is.

For better or for worse, that's what every evening looks looks like at our place. I just watch the clock waiting for it to be 8 o'clock! And I think Maggie was ready to call it a day too.

Happy Birthday, you Nutball!

There's your blog post Fred. Happy?

Your Friend, m.

"I heard he sang a good song"

2012-02-20T08:45:00.001-05:00

"I heard he had a style"

"And so I came to see him to listen for a while"

As mentioned in my last post, over a week ago, I went to a local bar to hear my Friend, Anthony, perform. Going out, on my own, is not as easy as it sounds. Let me try to explain to you what it takes for me to accomplish this task. Remember, in Cinderella, where her step-mother gave her impossible tasks to complete before she was allowed to attend the Ball? That's what it boils down to here. Forever, I had wanted to see Anthony play. But I am not the boss of my own schedule. Because I chose this life of parenthood, with all that is great and wonderful about it, comes times when you are wanting to do something else, but can't. So when I heard that Anthony(Fern) was playing, I first asked the boss(Fred) if I could go. He said "yes". It wasn't a "YES, that would be GREAT", it was a "yes". I take what I can get.

"You wanna go where everybody knows your name"

So for over a week, with the help of some very animated mice, I altered my evil step-sisters dresses. Actually, I did nothing, besides the obvious, until the Sunday, the day when he played. He was to start at 6:30. And because I wasn't going to be home to help put the kids to bed, I had to make sure that I did as much as possible before I left. That meant, I made sure all four kids had their baths, brushed their teeth, did laundry, the dishes, walked the dogs, etc.... Basically, I did everything that I would do prior to 8PM when the kids go down. But, I did it all before 6:30PM.

"Ticklin' the Ivories"!

I told Fred that I would be back by 8PM. So at 6:30, I threw on the only shirt that didn't need ironed and I drove downtown. I found a spot, up close, and went on in. The restaurant was busy with people eating and folks at the bar. Because I recognized some people at the bar from days gone by...., I knew that they were there to see Anthony. The people dining must have been folks coming into town and/or staying at local hotels who walked over.

I'll have some of that!

Confessions of a former Social Butterfly: There was a time, when being in a crowd and standing out, was my thing. Now, I prefer to stand out only in cyber-space. I immediately spotted Anthony and went to him. I took a few photos and then scanned the room. I saw some old acquaintances and went to them. "Hi Ron and Nathan"! And they introduced me to Paul and another Ron. So there I was, squished between the four of them. But not like in the old days! I actually "talked" to these guys. And that's when I mentioned to you that I thought that I bored them to death with my talk of children.

"Sing us a song, you're the Piano Man"

Here's the deal. Happily, I got nothing going in my life besides Fred and the kids. Fred and I are going on 22 years and we've been doing this parenting thing for almost 12 years now. I'm so used to Our Simple Lives that, left on my own and out of my element, I'm like a fish out of water. So, what do people without kids talk about? I have no freakin' idea! Should I talk about politics? I suppose. But did this crowd, who came to support Fern, really want to hear about which Republican candidate I'm supporting? I don't think so. I'm sure you don't either, right? wink! (Sardine Mama taught me to add a "wink" so as not to totally piss people off with my comments).

"Tipping is not a city in China"

But everyone was super nice to me and treated me like a real person. I even got a few "once-overs" which took me a few seconds to remember that I should take it as a compliment and not as a sign that I look tired and worn out. And I was like "Thank God for Chubby-Chasers"!

"Killing me softly with his song"

But although, the days of thinking that everyone in the club is there for me, are gone, I had no problem flitting around the room to take photos of Anthony and bits and pieces of everything. I bought my 1st camera a couple of months before I started this blog. I used to be nervous photographing certain situations. Now, I photograph what I want and will continue to do so until someone says not to. I'm not rude about but, if I want this diary(blog) to work, it's very important to me that I capture "moments" in time.

"Shake Shake Shake"!

Anthony is an excellent performer and is meant to be in front of a crowd. He's not as masculine as Liberace... but, the women love him too!

Don't know this chick but she sang well.

People were invited to come up to sing while he played. And luckily, only those who actually could sing, did, while I was there. When they don't come up, Antony sings. And of course, adds his own story and narrative to every song. Which is tons of fun!

I had a great time but my yearly personal hour was coming to a close. If I didn't make it home in time, my Dodge Minivan would turn back into a pumpkin. But beyond that, my glass slippers were killing me! Plus, I did tell Fred that I would be back by 8PM. For all those who are probably getting the impression that Fred rules me, let me set you straight. What I joke about as being "controlling", is actually mutual respect for one another. Does Fred mind that I went to a bar by myself? Probably. Does he trust me? Yes. Would I abuse that trust? No. You see, I have a good thing going here. Why screw that up?

I don't mean to tempt you, Julie. I just like the photo.

So I bid my Friends "farewell" and was on my way back home. I was back by five of Eight and in time to kiss all of my babies goodnight. They watched a movie while I was gone and, as far as they knew, I was down here, in the basement, blogging. Fred asked me what I felt like watching. Which is his way of saying that he wasn't mad at me for going out. I was home, and happy.

Although I'm not sure about Anthony!

And though I joked about boring my Friends at the bar with rambling non-stop about my kids, Ron and Nathan emailed me on Saturday inviting us(Fred and me) to dinner next month. So, I guess I wasn't that boring after all. Go figure!

I met Anthony exactly one week after I met Fred in April of 1990. And even though we get on each other's nerves and bad mouth one another, we are the best of Friends. So I'm very happy to be publishing this post on his birthday.

Happy Birthday "Old" Friend.

Thanks for taking pity on me and inviting me out.

Fern's Friend, m.

"It's Electric"!

2012-02-17T08:03:00.000-05:00

"Boogie woogie, woogie"!

Last week, I presented to you an imaginary conversation that happened with my parents. In reality, they don't talk Ghetto at all. Truth be told, they lean more towards trailer talk if you get my drift. Not that there's anything wrong with living in a trailer, I'm just sayin'!

Anyway, I told you to imagine them sitting on their sofa with the sofa arm flipped down for their cokes. I added, at the end, that I was only joking. Really, I thought I was. My Mom commented or called me that day to tell me that her sofa really does have that feature. So when I went down this past weekend, I brought my camera, of course! Well, not only does that middle cushion flip down, but you also can push buttons that make the entire sofa vibrate. Listen, I'm laughing so hard right now. And I was in hysterics at my Mom's. It was just too much to handle. I had no idea that my parents actually plugged their sofa into a wall.

By the way, she's selling it if anyone want to buy it. Lord knows what the next sofa will do. Any guesses?

So anyway, after I composed myself, I hung out a little bit with her and my Aunt Pam B. in the kitchen. And look what my Mom offered me.

Home made Peanut Butter Eggs.

Actually, these were made by the local church. Those damn Methodists have been making my hometown fat since 1842! And it doesn't look like there about to stop anytime soon. These bad-boy P.B. Egss are larger than ever. I think they biggie-sized them just to sabotage my diet . It's probably payback for skateboarding in their parking lot in the early 80s. I remember that organist giving me the evil-eye from the church window. It's her doing! I just know it!

Anyway, I resisted. Believe me, it took everything I had in me not to scarf them all down. And when my Mom knew that I wasn't going to cave in on the chocolates, she brought out the big guns.

It's not jalapeno but I'm not complaining!

On a different subject but also concerning my Mom, she said that my posts are becoming dirty. She said that I'm starting to sound like I'm writing soft porn. Which is sort of offensive because although I don't read soft porn, I bet it's not funny and never mentions Peanut Butter eggs. Although there could be chapters dedicated to vibrating sofas and cheese-whiz. I don't know! So maybe my Mom is right!

Anyway, she has a lot of nerve calling me pornographic. Seriously, she was no Methodist church organist when I was growing up! I think her memory's failing her these days. Bless her heart.(Hey Lauren)! Maybe she thinks of herself as a former Nun. Maybe she was! Although how many Nuns have you seen walking around town in a mini-skirt and high-heeled converse all-stars? I know, you think I'm joking, but she really did have high-heeled sneakers. And some buck-toothed biker-chick, who lived with us for a few months, stole them. My Mom still brings that up. Gail better hope that my Mom never runs into her white-trash ass again!

Gail and me. My fro was far-out!

Anyway, here's a video that I made of my Mom and Sister a billion years ago.

Okay, so I lied. That's not my Mom. Sue me! My Mom actually has dark hair. But I just wanted you to get an idea of my home-town and the grandmother of my children.

So although I might get a little naughty(just for laughs), I think she would agree that I could be way worse considering... My memory is pretty good when it comes to these sort of things. And when I can't remember something, I just pull out her photo albums, that I have, and it all comes flowing back.

I don't know what the hell she's laughing about here. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm holding my Dolly.

Have a good weekend!
My Mom's son, m.
p.s. Wish me luck. I have 172 cases of Girl-Scout cookies, in my garage, that I have to sort through today.

"Two of Hearts"

2012-02-14T06:31:00.001-05:00

"Two hearts that beat as one"

I know what you're thinking, "Oh great, another boring Valentine's Day Post". But you're wrong! It's another boring birthday post. So there!

Today is Jacob and Joshua's birthday. They are now 7 years old. How 'bout that! My babies are growing up. Which is fine by me since I'm done with babies. I proved that I could do it and now it's time to move on.

Oh, speaking of kids, let me just tell you this quickly. I actually went to a bar on Sunday to see my friend Anthony play. I hung out for a whole hour going on and on about my kids. I think the Gays next to me actually applauded when I left the place. It happens! I'll talk more about that in another post. Or maybe I won't, who knows!

But today is about my boys. They've been with us for almost three years now. To me, they still seem like the four year old boys who came to us in 2009. I know that they're getting older but I guess they'll always seem like little ones to me.

They blended perfectly into our Family as if they've always been here. It truly was a perfect match. I still, sometimes, find it hard to believe that we were chosen for these two. I told you before that since, John was a handful as a baby, Fred said "no more". Then I talked him into another because a kid needs a sibling, right? Anyway, he agreed and along came Claire. And as you know, we all revolve around her. By the way, I think she's starting to realize that she has power over us. And it took me awhile to convince Fred to adopt again. Little did he he know that two would come along. And now he realizes how amazing large Families can be. Sure, it's tons of work and we don't stop until we hit he pillow at night, but still, it's worth it.

The twins look nothing alike and they act totally different. Jacob, right above, is the more serious of the two. He's also "the brains" and his sense of humor has us cracking up. He totally borders on being a smart-ass so we have to watch that we don't break into laughter when he says something that he shouldn't. After he's reprimanded, we laugh about it when he's not listening. I'm afraid to encourage him. He needs very little prompting in this.

And Joshua can melt your heart. He's more social and more vocal. Sometimes he has no clue what he's talking about, but still, he talks. And you better make sure that if you want things private, you don't let Joshua know about it. He'll blab it to the world. He will NEVER be interviewed by CNN!

And although Jacob likes to play it cool and act like he needs no one, he's not fooling anybody. He uses Joshua to do a lot of stuff for him. We're always watching to make sure that he pulls his own weight. And Joshua is totally lost without Jacob. He follows Jacob's lead and depends heavily on Jacob's guidance.

I imagined a nice little photo shoot where I could take the boys outside and photograph them. Sunday was extremely cold. Standing and posing for me would be torture in itself for these two. I couldn't have them doing it out in the cold. So, we tried doing it in the house. I bribed them with this candy to sit still for me. I think it was the wrong thing to do.

Look, I won't go on an on today. I'm sure you know that my kids mean everything to me. I've written multiple posts about how I'm lost when they're not here. All of my children mean so much to me. And these two have their own special personalities which I love so much. And they're still small enough that I can carry them around and kiss their faces off while I'm walking.

Happy Birthday, Boys!

Jacob and Joshua's Dad, m.
p.s. With the boys' birthday on Valentine's Day, the pressure's off of me to do something romantic.
p.s.s.(?) Fred has been tinkering with this blog's look. Don't be alarmed if you see changes. I'm scared too!

"Walk like a man"

2012-02-10T07:56:00.000-05:00

I do the best that I can

First, the photos that you're about to see were taking while I was actually walking very quickly. There's tons of blur and not the cool kind of blur that was in the photos of my last post. So if you get dizzy and throw up during this post, just remember that you've been warned.

As you know, I walk to work now. I started about a month ago. Not really a New Year's Resolution but I guess close enough. Who cares! The point is I now walk two miles in the morning and two miles home. It takes me exactly 30 minutes each way. I told you before that I don't look forward to it and I don't enjoy it while I'm doing it. But, I still do it. I've only lost three pounds which makes the journey even worse.

Leaving home

I'm about 5'8", give or take 5 inches. Just kidding. I am 5'8". Not the tallest guy in the world. Anyway, body charts say that I should weigh 160 pounds. Listen, I'm opening up to you people so don't laugh at me. Okay, you can laugh but I better not hear it. Anyway, last month, I stepped on the scale at the office(gym) at it read exactly 200 pounds. Of course I stepped on and off of it a billion times just to get an accurate reading. But always 200 pounds. A few days later, I was at the drug store and stepped on the scale there. Exactly 200 pounds, again. After I swallowed the vomit that came up in my mouth, I decided to start walking.

When I was Mark, B.C.(Before Children), I would walk Roman(our Golden) four miles in the morning. Then after work, I would hit the gym for two hours. Then I came home and walked the dog the same four miles. 160 was always what I tried to maintain. I looked quite thin and I was loving life. I ate everything around me because I knew that exercising most of my waking hours would keep me fit. And it did! Then came John, born in 2000. I kept my membership at the Gym for 6 months before I finally gave it up. I still walked the dog and kept Johnny in a carrying sack(whatever they're called) but I didn't walk as much. John was a difficult baby and he totally wore me out. And now he's a preteen who totally wears me out. He's consistent, I'll give him that.

Focus on the branches, you won't get dizzy.

So, I slowly started to gain weight. And actually, I looked pretty darn good at around 180. And people actually said that I didn't look as sickly as I did when I was 160. By the way, I like that "sickly" look. Give me the body of a crack-head any day! Then I hit 190 and stayed that way for awhile. It was alright as long as I didn't gain any more. Over the past year, I've been noticing that my clothes were getting tighter. Uh oh! Yep, I knew it but I just didn't want to talk about it or even get close to a scale. But of course I did.

I wonder what stuff happens under this bridge at night?

Long paragraph ahead. You can skip it if you want. I'm just going on about my mornings.

So each morning, I'm up between 5 and 5:30a.m. I grab my coffee and head to the basement to feed the cats and release them. I don't like cats wondering around me at night. I don't like dogs doing it either. Actually, you know what, I'm just totally uptight when I sleep and I don't like anything happening! How's that? Anyway, I either start laundry or fold laundry or something laundry related. I check out a few blogs and emails and try to quickly get through them before 6a.m. I like to get the dogs walked before the sun rises. I don't like my neighbors seeing me looking like hell. I'm a gay man, they expect me to look better then them. And I really hate to disappoint. So I get get back from my walk and Fred is already on round one of breakfast for the kids. Johnny's awake and that's like having 15 kids awake. I avoid eye contact with him for fear that he'll ask something of me. I run upstairs to start getting ready for work. Pause: Why am I telling you all this crap? Who knows! But now I need to finish. Anyway, my bed must be made before I leave the house and before Claire wakes and comes into my room to watch whatever Disney show we recorded for her. She needs at least 30 minutes awake before anybody can address her. Then I wake up the twins a little before 7. While Fred has them sit for breakfast, I'm getting ready for work and laying out the boys' clothes for school. I grab some oatmeal and eat it while I'm packing my bag. Brush my teeth and I'm out the door by 7:30. Already exhausted and I'm just beginning my walk.

I didn't win the 23 million.

So now I walk. I'm thinking that I want to lose about 20 pounds before I start "working out" again. At this point, I'm not even sure if my head-band and leg warmers still fit.

"Here comes the sun"

My problem with working out is that I have to do it at home. The last time I tried this, I had four kids jumping on me while I was trying to do push-ups and then they started to complain that I was hoggin' up the t.v. I could barely concentrate. In fact, they are upstairs right now screaming at each other about something and I can barely concentrate on this.

Who doesn't love a little black pussy every now and then?

I sometimes hear stories about actors being 5'11" and weighing 150 pounds. And I think to myself, what the hell? I can't imagine myself at that weight. I was rail thin at 160. I couldn't get any thinner. So I think my ideal weight must be around 175 or so.

That background blurriness bothers me in this photo.

Unfortunately, I was cursed with massive thighs, a powerful chest, and broad shoulders. I know, disgusting, right? No, it's okay as long as I don't gain weight. But 160 is way too low for me. I really don't think those weight charts take into consideration one's build. I don't have a skinny frame and and that's why I looked sickly at 160.

"Hey Mister Man on your toilet"! I'm only foolin'! That's an office

I've told you before, whenever anything is wrong in my life, I blame my Mom. "Hi Mom, love ya"! She reads this you know. But she's used to the abuse that I give her. Plus, I'm making her famous. Anyway, my Mom set no eating boundaries growing up. She had/has the best pantry in the world. You want it, she got it! And no generic brands for her. It's Oreo's all the way.

You know you're hitting Harrisburg City when the roads start to look like this.

Still, to this day, whenever I go to my parent's house, I head straight to her cupboards. I'm purely driven by instinct. Just last week when I picked up John and Claire from her house, she slipped me an Easter Peanut Butter egg. She knows my weakness and she feeds upon it. Truly, she's like a drug dealer. But one who deals only in chocolate and Krimpets.

This church is for sale. The price is right but City taxes are crazy high!

I try to resist but the situation usually goes down like this. Picture my Mom and Dad sitting in their overstuffed love-seat with flip down cushions with built in drink holders.

Mom: Want some Chicken-in-the-biscuit?

Me: No, I'm okay.

Dad: We have a new can of Cheeze-Whiz for them. It's jalapeno!

Me: No, I'm just picking up the kids.

Mom: How 'bout some Molasses Cookies? I know you like them.

Me: Yeah, I like it all. I'm just trying to cut down on the snacks.

Mom: I bought them just for you!

Dad: He thinks he's better than us!

Me: No, I'm just saying that I eat too much of this stuff and it's not good for me.

Mom: "This, STUFF"? Why you frontin' like this?

Me: Listen, I just want the kids and I gotta get home.

Dad: Yo Bitch, why you treatin' your "Moms" like this?

Mom: You're so ungrateful. I should have aborted your sorry ass!

Me: Can I go now?

Mom: Just one f*^@3ing cookie?

Me: Alright!!!!

Half a box later, I'm walking out the door with the rest of the box, a meatloaf and a jar of pickled eggs under my arms. Claire has the can of jalapeno Cheeze-whiz in her overnight bag.

Dad: That's right, Bitch, you know you like it!

The sad thing is, he's right, I do!

Italian Lake. It's prettier in the Summer.

Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little bit with how my parents talk. They're actually quite loving and all that jazz. Plus, their sofa doesn't have drink holders. And don't worry for my Mom, she knows how I am.

Almost there!

So, for the most part, I've cut out the snacking of junk food. But being the ultimate State Worker, that's really hard. I can't walk 10 feet in my office without running into donuts or bagels or someone's homemade cake. And it would be rude of me not to accept their wonderful offer. If it were me who had baked a cake, I would be insulted if no one ate it.

The final stretch.

So, I'll continue to walk. In the past 2 weeks, there has been no weight loss. However, I have noticed that I don't feel so bloated. I'm sure that's because I quit with the mass amounts of junk food. Fred is a wonderful cook and if I just stuck with what he prepared for me, I'd be okay.

The Zembo Mosque in the background.

I know that I have to do this now because I'm sure it gets more difficult the older I get. And it's certainly no piece of cake now. Geez, did I just write cake again?

My office. Actually, the back entrance. But I prefer entering in the rear.

I get in there, change my shoes and I'm ready to go! Eight hours and I'm hoofing it again.

I really hope to lose 25pounds by May or June. Bikini season is upon us and I'm hoping to slip back into my Summer 1989 International Male speedo again. Please pray for me.

New Profile Photo?

Your Friend, who if I were a Straight dude, none of this crap would matter, m.

"Back to life, back to reality"

2012-02-07T06:27:00.000-05:00

How many of you will be singing that song all week?

Yes, I'm back! And I have so much to say! Actually, I have nothing to say. But, luckily, I have the gift to stretch "nothing" out forever.

First, I must tell you that the last three weeks have been just what the doctor ordered. When I first went "on break", it felt a little odd not keeping track of you and not journaling. Then, in about day three or so, I finally realized that I was actually enjoying not blogging. I know, even thinking that could totally get me shot by the Blogger hit men. You think I care? Okay, I do a little bit. But seriously, I owe nothing to no one, yet, and until I sell my soul to the Blogger demons, I can say what I want. I'm sure, before I know it, I'll be kissin' the asses of the Queen Bloggers for a mention on their sites. Yeah, it's totally sad, I know.

Just kidding! They'll never mention me. First, I'm too lowly. Second, I'm sure I piss them off with my total disregard to the "art" of blogging. Sure, I am taking full advantage of Social Media. But my main goal is to keep a diary of our lives. That will always come first. And if I become, by chance, the King of the Mommy Bloggers along the way, so be it! I'll wear my tiara, I mean, Crown, proudly.

Here's the deal. Remember my multiple posts regarding Advertising? I think that time is coming soon. I told you before that if Fred starts to pay attention to my little toy here, he'll get all up in my business. And as it is, it seems that we're going to have major legal bills for longer than I expected. So Fred said that I should consider Ads to help out so we all don't starve to death. And although I'm no fan of the idea of Ads, I think he's right. Look, life is grabbing us by the short hairs. We have to do something. So I'll be looking into what's out there. Okay fellow Bloggers, let me know what the best way to do this is.

Yes, I mentioned continual legal bills. And you're wondering what our status is. Let me put it to you this way. When our attorney says that I can blog about it, believe me, I will. Until then, you can continue to pray for us, sending positive energy and write to our leaders. But please, don't ask me. I don't want to answer you. Read into that what you want.

I've kept up with my walking. I still don't love it. But I have lost three pounds! I don't want to jinx anything but I was happy to see the number go down. The mornings are a bit hectic since I have to get out of here 30 minutes earlier to be at work on time. And I know it's all about the food with me. I'm not happy unless I'm constantly eating. So I'm trying to think about what I eat. Gone are the days when I could shove any old thing into my mouth. And swallowing is completely out of the question. Empty calories, my friends!

All the kids are doing just fine. The report cards came home the other day. I need to let you know that a few(3) of Johnny's teachers wrote that he was a "joy to have in class". I double checked the name on the card thinking that he switched it with another kid's. But nope, it was his! He's nowhere near an A student but I'm thrilled that he is behaving in school and actually likes to go. And Claire of course got straight As, again. She's so boring and predictable. And just so she doesn't get cocky, I remind her that she's in public school now. Anybody can get straight A's! Just kidding. I was a horrible student. I didn't even know they made a letter A until the 8th grade. And don't even get me started on numbers. When it comes to math, I'm a total girl. But with better driving skills!

As you can see, I've been practicing with the camera. When the film crew from CNN was in the house, one mentioned to me to that I needed to buy a 35mm and a 50mm for my camera and I would be happy. So after much pleading and begging, Fred gave in and bought the 50mm for me. I need to tell you that it has changed my life completely. It's allowing me to get the type of images that appeal to my eye and that I've always dreamed of taking. Do you know what this means? That's right! Any fool who can afford a good camera and lens can take a great picture. And here I thought I was a Special Fool!

But here's what I'm finding with this lens. You can correct me if I'm wrong. It does very well with close up detailed shots. But "my thing" is photographing the kids and people in general. I've yet to practice, while outside, photographing the kids being themselves. I mean, I can only take so many pictures of garden hoses before you all get sick of me.

Back of a chair in the basement.

That was the first photo taken with the new lens. It's special to me. Even if it is of a dumb chair!

Okay, that's about it. It's been pretty quiet around these parts and that's just fine by me.

Thank you to all the new readers who showed up while I was resting. I appreciate you joining and lending your support.

Your Friend, m.

And remember, I'm on Facebook as Our Simple Lives. Come visit me! And why wouldn't you? You got nothing else going on, right? m.

Soon

2012-02-01T06:20:00.000-05:00

Photo by Claire

SonyaAnn said that I needed to put out a sentence or two letting you all know that I'm okay. I am. I'm just enjoying one of the best breaks ever.

In the meantime, I've been slummin' it on Facebook at Our Simple Lives and occasionally on Twitter at RSimpleLives if you want to visit.

Thanks for all the love, folks!

Your Friend, m.

"Thank you for being a Friend"

2012-01-17T16:55:00.002-05:00

Earlier today, Fred and I did a live interview on CNN. I was quite nervous but it is something that had to be done.

I'm going to make this post short(ish). But still, I want to say a few things.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support. I've said it before and I'll say(write) it again. I don't know how I will ever repay you for what you are doing for us. People who I have never met before are posting our story on their own blogs and Facebook and Tweeting. Sadly, they are losing Followers over this subject but they assured me that they are backing us 100% and aren't too upset about losing a few Followers. And the only way that I know that they are doing this is because I'm getting comments from people saying that they are coming over form (name a site)'s blog. So then I'll click over and there I am. The outpouring of love and support is unbelievable.

I also want to thank the tons of people who have come over here to leave comments. Beyond my regular readers, there are lots of people that I don't even know. I am completely overwhelmed. In a good way! And then I feel guilty. I love to reply to people but I have been so busy that I've replied to no one. Please know that every one of your comments is precious to me and it means so much. After this whole thing dies down, I hope you stick with me and I get to know you better. In order to respond to everyone, I would need to quite my job and do nothing but reply. I can't afford to do that yet! So please, come back. In fact, I will try to respond to any comments you leave tonight.

As a few of you have pointed out, Our Simple Lives, is not so simple after all. In fact, if you go back to my very first post in 2009, I make a point saying that a simple life is what I want, not what I have. So like most of my posts, my title is also kind of a joke. And I love the fact that you can see my humor even in my sad posts. I agree that humor is the best medicine. And I live for your funny and off colored posts. Keep 'em coming!

Taken with my phone at the Station

I need to let you know that out of all the comments, emails, phone calls..., I only received one negative (if you want to call it that) comment.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Stop the Deportations - The Story of a Bi-National...":

It's not governments on earth defining the marriage ... The Bible (God's word) says that marriage is between one man and one woman.

I don't mind this comment and I don't want you to mind it either. In fact, my blog is public and therefore, this person(Anonymous) can leave these comments. Sadly, they must have used their phone because it didn't show up on my blog but only emailed to me. Although I don't agree with their opinion(obviously), I'm glad they just left it without being mean. So please, don't any of you attack Anonymous for his/her opinion and I invite them back to see how my beautiful Family grows.

Here is who you can write to if you feel moved to do so.

Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr.

393 Russell Senate Office Building

Washington, D.C. 20510

P: 202-224-6324

Toll Free: 866-802-2833

Fax: 202-228-0604

Secretary Janet Napolitano

Department of Homeland Security

U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Washington, D.C. 20528

202-282-8000

Unless something else comes up, I am in desperate need of a break. Next week, I might do daily photo posts so you can see how I'm doing with my new camera that I never touch. I'd like to thank my Friend Kreg P., who lives up the street from us, for sending this link to me.

You are very kind and I'll never stop thanking you.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Did you see me tug at my ear piece. That was for you. m.
Hey, I almost forgot. Our Simple Lives has a Facebook page. I hope you can find it because I'm not sure I have the smarts to link over to it. m.
Update: Peter told me to past this and it will work: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Our-Simple-Lives/286840071357172
Thanks Peter! m.

THIS, is CNN

2012-01-14T17:33:00.000-05:00

That title's better if you imagine James Earl Jones saying it.

What a week it's been! And between you and me(no one else is reading, right?), I'm glad it's over. I know there is way more to come but I need a few days away from it all.

Yesterday, a film crew from CNN drove down from NYC to interview us. Upon arriving and trying to set up their equipment, Maggie wouldn't leave them alone. So I had her arrested.

Don't feel bad for her. I told you before that she has no manners. I blame her Foster Mother. "Love ya Aunt Pam"!

And they got right to town setting up their equipment in my living room. Getting my ottoman in just the right angle for visitors, took me forever. Then right before my eyes, they picked it up and moved it against the fireplace. I'll never find that perfect position again, I just know it.

I tried my best not to get in their way but my house is the size of a postage stamp so there was little I could do. I suppose had I stopped taking photos of the situation, that would have helped too. But c'mon, how often will a international news crew be in my living room?

Fred's ready for his close-up!

He looks a little washed out in that light. But that's what he gets for being born white. I had way more sense in the beginning. See my furniture against the fireplace. Why did they do that to me?

Gettin' strapped in!

Watching Fox News while waiting. Just joking, Fred would never!

The happy couple

If you watch all the videos that I posted from the past week, I think that carousel horse is always behind us. Maybe they'll make it the face of Gay Immigration.

Damn Paparazzi always following us

Don't worry, our neighbors are used to cameras in the neighborhood. But usually it's the producers of COPS. This is a nice change of pace.

Maggie escaped!

Can you see my box of Franzia peeking out from the cabinet? It was calling to me. "C'mon Mark, you know you want me"!

The Great American Melting Pot

When we bought that love seat in the late 90s, it was perfect for the two of us. The salesperson suggested that we buy the sofa instead for only $60.00 more. I didn't want a huge sofa in my living room. So I said no. I may have been wrong.

Listen, I'm not going to get all political on you today. I've had enough of it and all I really want to do is get back to my simple posts. But as mentioned before, this blog is a diary for the kids. And, well, this is what is happening in their lives.

Once again, and probably for the rest of my life now, I need to Thank you all for everything that you are doing for our Family. Our story has been shared everywhere and I'm hoping that the more people realized that this is an actual situation, the more pressure will be put on the Gov't to remove this barrier for so many Families like ours.

If this video doesn't work, here is the link: http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2012/01/14/pkg-candiotti-gay-man-faces-deportation.cnn.html

I hope to be back blogging regularly on Monday or Tuesday. I miss visiting you all and leaving inappropriate comments on your blogs. Thank you for sticking with me and I do apologize for not responding to comments over the past week. I was a little busy fighting the Federal Government. You know how it is.

Your Friend, m.

"Fame! I'm gonna live forever"!

2012-01-13T08:13:00.001-05:00

But this is not the 15 minutes of fame that I wanted.

I was just checking with the World, and apparently, everyone knows our business now. Although there could be some folks in the Conga who are still clueless. But don't worry, I've Friended them on Facebook so they should know soon enough.

I'm serious, I'd rather not be known in history books for this. I can just see it now. "World famous Blogger and Civil Rights Pioneer, Mark Himes, died today at the age of 103. Doctors say it had nothing to do with the fact that he lost two Followers in one evening. In other news, burgundy and hunter green are back in fashion"! Honestly, why didn't I do Star Search when I had the chance? But no, I had to do life the hard way.

Don't let your guard down or Love will get you.

We have another crazy day before us. And once again, you'll find out shortly. But all I want is it to be 8:30PM, and the kids in bed so I can finally watch two weeks of Top Chef. I just see it there, in my DVR, teasing me. But nope, I'm too beat by the end of the day.

Smothered by Love

Once again, I want to thank you for the comments on this site, the emails and tweets. Yesterday was nuts with everyone and their brother forwarding around Wednesday's post on Facebook. I've seen folks, who I don't even know, saying things like, "although I don't believe in Gay Marriage(Marriage Equality), I can't see why the Government would want to rip this family apart....: Total strangers I'm telling you. It was so unreal. If I do live to be 103, I'll never be able to thank all of you and those people personally. I hope you all are reading now and know that everything you are doing for us is much appreciated.

Great Organization that we worked with for years and years and years...

Because you asked, here is how you can help. You can write to Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano. And if you live in Pennsylvania, you can write to Senator Casey's office. Both, on our behalf. You can let them know that you read the story on StopTheDeportations.com or that you know of our story from another source. If you do this, I would urge you to, as best you can, write it when you're in a good mood. No one likes a nasti-gram. In fact, Senator Casey's office already knows about our story and his staff has reached out to us. And Congressman Holden's office has been exceptionally helpful. I tend to think that people are generally good and want to help when and if they can. You read my post that I copied from StopTheDeportations.com. You know that we are asking for approval of our green-card application. Or at the very least, held in abeyance and not denied. I will leave the rest to you because I don't want it to sound like a form letter. And in fact, actual letters and phone calls are the best. Next week, I will post info about how to contact those offices. My mind right now, at 6a.m., doesn't have the will power to look it up.

Bloggy-Friends, I hope to be back to "normal" next week and start visiting you all again and telling mindless stories like how Fred removed clothes from the washer, dried, folded and put them away. Sounds great, right? But sadly, I didn't wash those clothes. I just had them sitting in the washing machine until there was enough to wash. So now, what's dirty, what's clean, who knows!

In the meantime, let me make you watch another video. This was from a French documentary filmed in 2008. It was on Gay life in America. Our part was about Immigration. I think they made a French and an English speaking version. Also, Fred is called Fabien in this clip. I forget why he wanted an Alias. But, it is what it is!

Your Friend, m.
p.s. Are you sick of me yet? Well, if you can stand to see more, please read our interview in the Philadelphia Enquirer that just hit this morning: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/20120113_Gay__binational_couple_joins_fight_against_federal_antigay_law.html?page=1&c=y
fyi, I'm not the "facilities manager" as mentioned in this article. I'm in Facilties but certainly not the manager.

"I know why the caged bird sings" too!

2012-01-12T07:40:00.000-05:00

It's either that or go crazy

Yesterday was filled with emotions. Yeah. Me! Can you believe that! It started very early with rushing and panic to make sure that we had everything we needed for our day. And it ended in me reading 10,000 emails, comments, tweets, etc, etc...

We woke at 5:00a.m. to get our day started. You know, the usual Gay Agenda; walking the dogs, putting clothes in the dryer, packing lunches for the kids. But it was more rushed than usual. The only thing that we didn't have to do was to put the kids on the school bus. That is why I am so grateful for my Mom. She slept over on Tuesday night to see the kids onto the bus. Fred and I left for Philadelphia and the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services(USCIS) at 7a.m.

We were received warmly by the Officer at the USCIS. He asked us questions regarding all of our documents that Fred had compiled into a nice and orderly folder for them. Fred had originals and any copies that the Officer would ever want. The Officer asked us questions about our address, our In-law's names, date of birth.... The meeting took about 30 minutes. Our (not so secret anymore) attorney, Lavi Saloway, was with us at all times. And thank God for him because while we only knew our lives, he knew the law. At one point, the Officer asked Lavi if he practiced Immigration Law. Lavi's response was "Only". I thought that was funny. No cases, at all, are decided at the moment of the actual meeting. So, we thanked the Officer and went on our way.

We were so grateful for the fact that we, as a gay couple, even made it that far. This was unheard of just two years ago, or maybe just last year. Baby steps, people. Baby steps. And it felt good to be acknowledged as a Family and have someone listen to us. We understand that only 50 years ago, it could have been a White man and Black woman, both Americans, going through the same thing. So once again, we are grateful.

Now, the stressful wait for a response, of an approval or denial, begins.

I took my camera but have no photos. I was told several times while entering the building, that bringing it was a big No-No. And I listened.

Last night, as mentioned above, I was overwhelmed by the emails and tweets and Facebook messages. I started to thank everyone personally but it got to a point that I didn't have enough time in my evening to do so. I felt bad because I love to respond to comments and especially welcome new folks over here. But sadly, I cannot. However, I just wanted to take this moment to thank all of you for reaching out to us and with such kind things to say. I really was getting choked up last evening reading all of them. You have no idea how much it means to me. I read every single message and they are all Special. You wrote beautiful things. Unlike the comments in the CNN Interview that went out yesterday. I stopped reading those.

I need to say this too. A few of you offered us financial assistance. As wonderful as that sounds and I am honored that you offered, we are fine. Fred and I have planned for everything. The sale of two huge houses over the years and moving into a neighborhood that we can easily afford on one salary, has made it possible for us to be comfortable. But if you could buy a box of Girl-Scout Cookies from Claire which we'll donate to our Troops overseas, that would make my day. I'll tell you about that later.

Now I must leave and go get ready for work. Life goes on you know! Bloggers, Twitter and Facebook Friends, forwarding my post, tweeting and re-tweeting it, and actually writing about us on your own blogs, was an incredible thing to see. You are wonderful to me. Now I feel bad about talking about you behind your backs. But from this day on, I'm only going to use my gossiping for Good. wink!

This is a second video clip from the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, that was filmed over a two year span. The clip from yesterday was filmed while we were in a Rental. The following shows us at our previous house that we rebuilt. I'm not sure who these two guys are that are stealing the limelight from me. We're in this clip somewhere. We are two, of many thousands of people, who are going through the same thing.

Below is the interview that we did with CNN the other day. Since I copy/pasted it, it's hard to read. So here is the link: http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/11/us/philadelphia-gay-couple-deportation/index.html?iref=allsearch

Your Friend, m.
p.s. I will let you know soon if there is anything, that you can do at all, to help us out. Meaning, letters and such. But for now, just keep spreading yesterday's story so people are aware of this issue. Thanks for your help. m.

Philadelphia (CNN) -- Frederic Deloizy says his life began the day he met Mark Himes by chance at a birthday party in April 1990.

Himes had recently started a job with Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education, and Deloizy was studying at a nearby college. The strangers arrived at the party at the same time, and Deloizy held the door open for Himes, catching his eye.

"It was love at first sight. We felt we belonged together," Deloizy said.

Deloizy, a French national, spent the past two decades in and out of the United States leapfrogging from one visa to another, in hopes of creating a life together with Himes, who was born and raised outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

But 21 years and four adopted children later, the couple -- who were married in California in 2008 -- is fighting to stay together since Deloizy's final visa expired in September.

Deloizy faces deportation because immigration officials are barred from recognizing their marriage under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Himes filed a spousal green card petition so they can continuing living stateside in Harrisburg with their four children, John, 11, Claire, 8, and 6-year-old twins, Jacob and Joshua.

"I will no longer ride in the back of the bus. I am tired of waiting for people to give me rights," Himes said.

On Wednesday, they will appear before an immigration officer at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services' district offices in Philadelphia to defend their relationship and marriage, the usual process for opposite-sex married couples where one spouse is foreign-born and not a U.S. citizen.

From left to right is Jacob, 6, John, 11, Claire, 8, and Joshua, 6.

However, Deloizy and Himes represent a growing number of same-sex couples with a partner of foreign nationality at risk of separation under DOMA, according to the couple's immigration attorney, Lavi Soloway.

"They have sacrificed everything for their family, and the idea that the federal government wants to tear them apart in the name of the Defense of Marriage Act is preposterous and cannot [be allowed to] happen," said Soloway, co-founder of Stop The Deportations, a campaign to stop the deportations of spouses of gay and lesbian Americans.

DOMA was passed in 1996 by the GOP-controlled Congress and signed into law by Democratic President Bill Clinton. It bars federal recognition of same-sex marriages and says states cannot be forced to recognize such marriages from other states.

The couple could receive a decision Wednesday or weeks later about their green card petition, Soloway said. At best, they could buy time if their case is placed on hold until DOMA makes it to the Supreme Court. On the flip side, deportation proceedings could begin for Deloizy.

"If I'm deported, the whole family is deported. You don't split a family," Deloizy said. "It could make me mad, but it makes me sad. This is our reality."

In February, President Barack Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. Despite the order, the administration will continue to enforce the law.

"(DOMA) is clearly unconstitutional because it violates basic equality rights," said David S. Cohen, associate professor of law at Drexel University's Earle Mack School of Law. "Unless the legislative stars align themselves and make it a part of the priority to repeal DOMA, it will take some time for the courts to get to it."

The couple is not seeking special treatment, instead they're asking for equal protection under the law, Himes said.

"You live constantly with the stress of knowing that you're a second-class citizen and at any moment your family could be torn apart by the same government that permitted you to become a family," Himes said. "This is not gay life. This is two guys with a lot of kids trying to get laundry done and homework finished."

With Deloizy unable to work because of his visa status, Himes is now the sole breadwinner for the family. Deloizy runs the household when Himes is at work, packing lunches, getting the kids off to school, and shuttling their brood to doctor's appointments and activities.

"I simply could not do this by myself," Himes said. "The private schools are gone, the nice cars are gone, and the big house is gone. But we have our family and we have our love."

Himes chronicles their daily life on his blog, where he creates a "virtual scrapbook" of the couple's children: his daughter, Claire, getting her ears pierced for Christmas; his son, Jacob being rushed to the hospital when he bit his tongue after falling off his pogo stick; and the family trip to Washington for the White House Easter Egg Roll in 2010.

"It's not about being gay or straight, it's about love," Deloizy said. "If we're not a family then what are we?"

Stop the Deportations - The Story of a Bi-National Gay Couple

2012-01-11T06:59:00.000-05:00

I know, my post looks odd today. That's because I copied it directly from Stop the Deportations.com. I'm in a rush and I need to make this fast. Today is what Fred and I have been waiting for for almost 22 years now. Please read below and you'll understand how big of a deal this is.

I've been crazy busy in the past couple of days and that is why you've hardly seen me around the Blogesphere. And I'll be even more busy in the days to come.

I probably won't have time to respond to your comments but if you leave one with a question in it, I'll be sure to answer it all in the next few posts.

Thank you all for your love and support
By the time you read this, we'll be on our way to Philadelphia to meet with officials at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. We hope to be received warmly.

Here's the story behind the story that you already know.

After more than 20 years, four children, and three houses, we are still unsure of our future.

Like any other parents in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania where we live, we spend our days taking care of our family, making sure that our children are loved, happy, healthy and are learning the skills and values that will give them the most opportunities for a successful and fulfilling life.

And yet, as much as we have devoted our lives to our family and to each other, we do not enjoy what most families in America take for granted. Despite being legally married, and having become the parents of four wonderful children, our family can be torn apart at any time by my own government because of the Defense of Marriage Act and because of outdated immigration laws.

We are Mark, Frédéric, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua.

Fred and I met in April of 1990 at a birthday party for a mutual friend. As I learned later, neither one of us wanted to attend the part on that particular night, but, somehow, we both were talked into it. I arrived with my friend Rebecca at the same time that Fred arrived with his friend, Steve. As we approached the entrance, Fred said hello to me in his thick French accent. I often joke saying that “he had me at allo.” He held the door open for me that night.

After that, we spent most of the rest of the evening on the floor in the hallway simply talking about our lives. I found out that he had been in the country for the past year teaching at a university a couple hours away. By midnight, his crew was heading out. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in and gently kissed him. I don’t know what possessed me to do that. He looked shocked. After he left, I asked the host if Fred was gay, since almost everyone at the party was straight. The host responded “yes” and told me that Fred was planning on going into the priesthood. That didn’t stop me from reaching out to him. I tracked him down at his university and sent him a card. We were able to meet again a few times before he went back to France two months later. And so began unbearable seven years of flying back and forth across the ocean as often as we could.

In 1997, Frédéric was hired at a local high school to teach French. We were finally together in the same country again, and we were both elated. In 1999, we stumbled across a house in Harrisburg that was condemned and boarded up. I fell in love with it. I had to convince Fred to buy it. We paid $1.00 for it and spent the next several months bringing it back to life. It was a labor of love. We literally built a home for ourselves. Ten years after we first met we were settling down and ready to start a family.

In April of 2000, we submitted our application to an adoption agency. They called us six days later to let us know that a boy was just born and asked if we would be interested. Nervously, we said yes. Our son, John, was born on April 20th, 2000. In July 2003, we were blessed again by the birth of our daughter, Claire.

In 2004, with Fred’s work visa due to expire after he reached the limit of six years, he and his employer reached out to an immigration lawyer only to learn that they had acted too late to be eligible for any extension. We began to face the prospect, that we would be forced to leave the United States and move to France. It was very difficult for me to think of leaving my parents and my sister with severe MS, but we could not allow our children to be separated from one of their parents. Our highest priority was keeping our family together. So thinking that we were moving to France, we advertised the house for sale. We had a buyer within a couple of days. With only a few months to go, Fred was able to obtain a student visa to attend our local college. But it was too late to save the house. We moved into a rental. During this time, we experienced what so many gay binational couples come to feel: a growing sense of frustration with the blatant discrimination that prevents gay American citizens from sponsoring their partners, even when they are legally married. We were featured in the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, which profiled the experiences of a diverse group of binational couples. We felt then, as we do now, that we must stand up for our rights. We could not live on this roller coaster, without any way to plan a secure future for our family, and just sit on our hands and do nothing.

Also during that time, we found another condemned house and started renovations on that. We completed the renovations and moved into that in 2005. By 2007, with two kids in private school and Fred unable to work because of his status as a foreign student, money was running low. We decided that, once again, we had no choice but to sell the house into which we literally had poured our blood, sweat and tears. It was heartbreaking to lose our home. We sold the house quickly and purchased a much smaller house in a less expensive neighborhood so that we could keep going for as long as possible on one salary.

In 2008, we married in San Francisco, 18 years after we had first met. A French film crew came with us, and we became part of a film on gay life in America: This is Family.

On April 7, 2009, our 19th anniversary, we met our youngest sons, Jacob and Joshua who were four at that time. They easily blended into our family and overnight, we went from two children to four. We were a growing family, full of love and optimism about our future in every respect but one. A ticking clock grew ever louder, as we knew that Fred’s student visa would eventually come to an end.

In the spring and summer of 2011, we were forced again to weigh our options. Now the proud (and sometimes exhausted) parents of four children, we were forced to look for a way to remain together in this country or else leave. We started to seriously consider moving to France. However, we quickly learned, that despite some advances in French law over the years, we were trapped. We could not stay in the United States (my country) and we could not move to France (Fred’s country). We are unwanted by both. Although we are both the legal parents of four American children, and both the state and federal government recognizes our status as parents, it will not recognize our marriage because of the Defense of Marriage Act. According to the U.S. government, I am the father of our four children, and Fred is the father of the same four children, but we are legal strangers to each other. Our marriage, our nearly 22 years together, all of that amounts to nothing. Fred has no right to stay in the United States beyond the expiration date of his visa. And that day was rapidly approaching. At the same time, while France would recognize our relationship under its less-than-optimal Civil Solidarity Pact (“PACS”), and it may even permit me to reside in France legally as an immigrant on the basis of our relationship (but not our marriage), the French government refuses to recognize the adoption of our children, because under French law same-sex couples are prohibited from adopting children. We are trapped by U.S. law that refuses to see our marriage, and French law that refuses to see our children. We cannot continue to live this way, and we cannot be torn apart. .. so we decided to fight back.

Over the past years, we have built our entire lives in the U.S. All of our family and friends are here. Our children should not be put through the trauma of seeing one of their parents forced out of the country, nor should we be uprooted and turned into refugees searching for a third country that will take us in. It is an outrage that my own government has created this situation and allows it to persist, when it has the power to solve the problem both in the short-term with interim policy changes, and in the long-run by defeating DOMA. We are thankful that this administration is fighting DOMA in court alongside lesbian and gay couples. Those cases will hopefully bring an end one day to that law and its cruel, unnecessary impact. But we need the administration to help all LGBT families like ours today by putting in place policies that protect us.

This past summer we decided to join The DOMA Project and fight for full equality for our family. After many discussions with our lawyer, we decided that I would file a “green card” petition on behalf of Fred, as my spouse. We have done this because we cannot continue to exist from one visa to another, we cannot put our children through the stress, and we cannot allow the status quo, in which our future is so unstable, to continue. We believe that we must set an example for our children by living our lives in a way that assumes we are all equal.

On Wednesday, January 11, 2012, Fred and I will go to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Philadelphia to be interviewed in connection with the marriage-based immigration petition I filed last summer. We will go into that interview expecting to be treated equally. A USCIS officer will ask us about our marriage, review our evidence of cohabitation and commingled finances, and proof that that we have a marital relationship. We have dutifully compiled a pile of documents and photographs for review. We welcome the opportunity to be treated just like everyone else: to prove that our marriage is real. While we look forward to the interview, we have no illusions of what we are up against. We will prove that we are, in every way, qualified for Fred to receive a green card, but he will still be denied. And that is where the next stage of our fight will begin.

We have notified our elected officials and we will continue to fight for our case to be approved or, at the very least, held in abeyance, and not denied. We are painfully aware of the Obama administration’s position that DOMA, despite being unconstitutional, must be enforced. We know that President Obama believes that DOMA prevents the Immigration Service from “recognizing” our marriage. Even so, there is no reason that our marriage cannot be respected and our family protected. We need bold leadership to create remedies that keep all families together. Our four children, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua, deserve no less.

Your Friend, m.

The downside of raising straight boys

2012-01-09T08:19:00.000-05:00

Here we go again!

A couple of months ago, Johnny had to be rushed to the hospital because he sliced his finger nearly off. Apparently, Jacob was jealous because of all the attention that Johnny was receiving, so...

He thought he'd give it a shot!

Claire slept over at her Friend Riley's house on Friday night. At 3PM on Saturday, I picked her up and as we were leaving, Riley's Mom, JHo(as I call her) came running out with her phone saying that Fred was on the line. In a rushed voice, Fred said, "I just called 911 and the ambulance is on its way. Jacob fell off his pogo stick and bit his tongue off"! I said I'd be right there. I handed the phone back to JHo and told her that I'd call her later. I rushed home. It should have only taken a few minutes but I was stuck in Farm Show traffic. Damn that Farm Show! Fred called me again to let me know that our neighbor, Ellen, was at the house with John and Joshua and that he was leaving with the ambulance. I was pulling in as Fred and the ambulance were rolling down the street.

WARNING: BLOOD AHEAD!!!

I hope our Adoption caseworker isn't reading this.

First, I would like to thank Fred for not grabbing one of my linen napkins this time. But as you can see, he grabbed one of the towels that his Mother brought from France in April as a gift to me because she thinks my towels are dingy. So she'll be happy to see that I've kept this one pretty white. Well, except for the blood stains that is. Otherwise, as clean as the day she brought them!

Little Man

As I was rushing to close the house down again and um, well, grabbing my camera, I asked Ellen what she knew. She said that she had only arrived to occupy the kids so that Fred could deal with Jacob and the medics. She really didn't know much. Yes, that is a DS that Jacob is holding above. I know from the last time that kids go nuts without something to do in Emergency Rooms. So I locked up, threw the kids in the minivan and off we went.

It's not a hike in the woods but what can you do?

I've told you before that I don't get hysterical in these matters. After almost 22 years, I've learned to take whatever Fred tells me, about a situation, and dial it back by half. I knew that he told me that Jacob bit off his tongue but I was hoping for something less traumatic. I won't leave you hanging. I was right. Now mind you, it is a major gash in the top and bottom part of his tongue but like Johnny's finger, it is able to be saved. Okay, let's continue.

Fred calling my Parents

Listen, it's sort of mandatory that we call my Mom and Dad. If we don't, we'll never hear the end of it. So, the first call is always 911 and then to my Mom. She'd prefer it the other way around but we have to draw the line somewhere.

We always luck-out and get the best doctors.

And yes, again, I asked her if I could photograph her examining him and she agreed. To hell with those HIPAA laws! By the way, I really don't have my children get hurt to increase the popularity of this blog. But, since they do get hurt, why not grab my camera! Oh, stop. You're just jealous because you don't think to grab yours in the midst of an emergency. I'm right, aren't I?

She photographed the tongue and emailed it to the surgeon to determine what to do. He emailed back and said that it wasn't bad enough to operate. Although his tongue looks horrible, apparently tongues have an incredible blood/vein/artery system that can heal itself quickly. I'm only going by what they said. So we have several days of blended food to prepare for him.

I made him "scooch" over so that I could love him up

That's the problem with having a lot of children, the chances of someone getting hurt increases. And of course, as the parent, you hurt right along with them. And if you don't, there's something wrong with you.

But as long as they're not the hurt ones, my kids kind of like the hospital. As soon as we walk in, all I hear is "Where are the vending machines? Can we get a snack? How about a coke? Can I get a coke and Doritos...? Are there any Snickers in that machine"? Seriously, it's Kids Gone Wild. And although Jacob couldn't join in on our "dinner", he took the opportunity to relax and catch up on his shows.

His Highness was in charge of the remote.

Luckily, he put on a show that I sometimes watch too. And sometimes, I watch it by myself. Good Luck Charlie. Oh, don't look down on me. I only watch it for the Mom on that show. She kills me!

Wouldn't you agree, Tracy?

He'll be off school on Monday. And when he goes back to school, Fred will pack a container of mush for him to drink. Doesn't that sound yummy? But there is a silver lining to this saga. He hasn't talked back to me in at least 24 hours. See, it ain't all bad!

"Why so quiet, Jacob, cat got your tongue"?

I think my Comment system corrected itself over this past weekend. I finally got email notifications that people left comments on my site. Days later, but still, I got them. They all came in at one time. Please, send your thoughts and prayers to my comment system.

Come back on Wednesday. I think that's the day when you learn my "Big Secret". And no, it's not that I'm actually a Mommy Blogger in disguise. I think that secret's out.

Your Friend, m.

A little off track

2012-01-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

More or less.

I think I'm starting this year negatively. My last post was all about how I hate my new camera and this post is more along those same lines. And while talking about being negative, I was speaking with a co-worker of mine earlier in the week and we were complaining about something. And she said, "Mark, we're turning into those negative women who used to work here who bitched about everything". We laughed it off because we're really not like them at all. The difference is that those women hated their jobs and marked the days off on calendars until they could retire. My Friend and I love our jobs. But sometimes, a bitch-session really comes in handy.

As mentioned earlier in the week, Fred help me declutter the kitchen cabinets. I was so grateful to him because that's not his thing. And also as mentioned, I had stacked everything on the table to photograph and then chuck in the trash or donate. It was there a couple of days and, because I'm not touching my camera, I did nothing with the stuff. Wednesday night, I took Claire to Brownies and came home around 8PM. We settled the kids in bed and then we relaxed ourselves. When I woke up yesterday and walked through the dining room, the entire table had been cleared of my last remaining items to complete my 365 day project.

Long story short, Fred, who doesn't follow this blog, assumed that my project ended on December 31st, not January 14th. Therefore, he did me the "favor" of tossing everything into the trash. As he was telling this to me, I could hear the garbage truck leaving our block. Needless to say, I was upset. But in his defense, he was trying to help me. Still, it kind of ruined my mood yesterday. And then of course, today was suppose to be the day where I declared my Victory over my Clutter. I now have until the 14th to try and find 37 more items. Removing the last 100 items out of this house caused arguing because it wasn't my stuff. I'm not sure I want to go there again. This may be the death of my de-cluttering project.

I have been walking ever since Tuesday. And since I'm writing on Friday morning, you can see that I didn't die afterall. I leave the house exactly at 7:30 and arrive at work at exactly 8a.m. on the dot. I do a 15 minute mile and if I start to slack, I speed up my walking. All the time making sure that I don't look like a stupid-ass speed walker. Any faster and I'd have to invest in a matching jogging suit and fanny pack. It wouldn't be pretty.

I'm not about to say that I enjoy walking to work. I can tell you that I don't hate it. It's not like it's a stroll through the park or something. It's to get from point A to point B in 30 minutes and that's it. To tell you the truth, it's kind of boring. Obviously, it's way better than walking on a treadmill, but still, a little boring. I've varied my route a few times just for a change of scenery. It's cold so there aren't many souls outside to say hi to. Also, I don't listen to music or anything like that. I prefer to be aware of what's around me so if my mind is occupied by music, I'd worry that someone would come up behind me and slash my throat. And it doesn't help that Fred and I are currently watching The Tudors, The Borgias and The Medici Family, simultaneously, on Netflix. I'm a tad paranoid.

I stepped on the scale at the office(we have a gym that I don't use) only to discover that I'm heavier than I thought I was. I felt sick. But sadly, my lunch had already been digested so there was little I could do about it at that point. What I can tell you so far is that, because I'm walking heavily, I don't feel the need to gorge on food like I do. And because I arrive home later than usual and am thirsty, I don't run to my Merlot. I think that's all helping.

And I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good about myself. I showered and started to get dressed. I only felt fat while putting my underwear on. I stood there shaving and uncomfortable thinking how I could let myself get to this point. Then I realized that I was wearing Johnny's underwear. I don't think I need to explain how disturbing, on so many levels, that realization was. I really can't even "go there". Let me just say this. There is nothing positive at all about wearing your children's underwear. I don't care how thin you are. The only thing I thanked God for was that I wasn't wearing Claire's Good Luck Charlie underwear.

I promise to pick up my camera and practice this weekend. Other than color coding everyone's underwear, I have no plans for Saturday and Sunday. So perhaps I'll take the kids to the forest and shoot them. Yes, I know how that sounds.

I've received several emails from folks saying that they are unable to comment on this site. I have a love/hate relationship with my Comment System. When it works, it's beautiful. That is, again, when it works. A lot of the times, I'm not getting notified that you have left a message. I only know because when I click on this blog, I see that there are more comments. I need to let you know that I respond to a lot of those comments. If you don't see an email response, there is probably one that I left for you here. If you are having problems leaving a comment, perhaps it's the browser that you're using. I really have no idea. But I thank you for trying.

Have a good weekend Folks
Your Friend, m.

I hate my new camera

2012-01-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

And other observations

A couple of weeks before Christmas, Fred purchased a new camera for me. I am now the proud owner of a Canon 7D. For a year, I've been struggling between a Canon and a Nikon. Jim over at Ocean Breezes gave me some great advice. The models that I compared had practically the same ratings and reviews. But in the end, I decided upon a Canon. I was thrilled. It came a couple of days later.

So now, I'm the proud owner of a very expensive camera that I hate. I think the reason that I hate it so much is that it makes me feel stupid. Honestly, when I bought my Sony A230 a few years back, I opened the box, snapped the lens on and went to town. This thing just sits here, right beside me, mocking me. I'm looking at it now and I detest it's smugness. Not only does it tease me, but it's rude to my Sony. I keep them separated now. I hate bullies!

My blogapist(Blog Therapist) and real life Friend, Lauren of Still + Life, keeps telling me to "Practice Practice Practice, and you'll start to get the hang of it". She's such a slave driver. I hate her! No I don't. I'm just frustrated and I'd rather take it out on her. My main problem is that I have a hard time focusing with it. That damn lens just won't focus for me. Lauren sent me info that indicated that this is not only my issue, but tons of others. However, it read, that once you master the lens, you'll never put the camera down. So, my goal for 2012 is to learn how to use this thing. In other words, I will make this camera my Bitch! FYI, these photos were taken with the new camera. So far, I think I've only taken pictures of a Christmas tree and plants. And when it's not windy! They don't move like children do.

In other news, I'm a big fat pig! Yes, it's true. I used to be just a run of the mill kinda pig. But then, after four kids, I gained some weight. Truth be told, I actually didn't give birth to these kids of mine. Yep, the cat's out of the bag! But still, I gained 10lbs with each of my Birthmother's pregnancy. Talk about sympathetic pregnancy! Look, I'm not a "real" mama, so why in God's name must I look like one? Honestly, I'm almost ready to call my Mom and ask her if she'll take me for my first training bra.

Okay, it's not that bad. And I know what you're thinking, "Mark, you're gorgeous, I've never seen anyone more beautiful". Awe, thank you, that's very kind of you for saying so. You were thinking that, right? Of course you were, I'm crazy! Anyway, I need to drop about 25lbs. I'm not kidding, I really do! I'll talk more about it in a couple of weeks. But for right now, I'll be walking to and from work starting on Tuesday. It's only two miles each way. I told Fred to expect a text from me from about four blocks down asking that he come pick me up. Otherwise, the township will have to bring in a forklift to remove my carcass from the road.

Fred helped me remove unwanted cups and such things from the kitchen yesterday. I have everything piled up on the table to take a photo and then get rid of. I didn't count but I'm sure that I hit the 37 things that I need in order to meet my goal. But I was really hoping for more big things to remove from this house. So, I'll probably meet my challenge but it will be a dud of a victory. I think I'll do that posting on Friday. Aren't you thrilled? No, I'm not either.

Johnny has been bugging for a Facebook account. I told him that we'll talk when he's twelve this year. He slept over at a friend's house last evening. They were both here this afternoon(Monday). The children's computer is right beside mine so I can see everything. His friend sat down and logged on to "John's account". I said, "What's that"? John jumped, "He signed me up"! We sent his friend home. I looked at his account. While there, a message popped up, for John, from a friend of his from school. It read, "Wassup Faggot"? That "modern greeting" doesn't offend me. I just deleted the account and now John will have to wait until at least 13 to try again. "Thems the breaks"!

Joy: Waking up to see that you have a 192 comments on your last post.
Pain: Realizing that your comment system doubled 75% of those comments.
Death: Having to go through and delete 50+ duplicate comments.

Stupid me for thinking that I hit it big time.

Alright then, that's about it. See, that was an easy post.

But while you're here in Blogistan, swing on over to my Friend Ron's site, From Sophie's View and wish him a Happy Birthday.

Hey, I just realized that this is my first post of the year.
Happy New Year!

See you all on Friday!
Your Friend, m.

2011

2011-12-30T08:13:00.001-05:00

Late Spring 2009(also, the first photo that I ever posted on this blog)

Long post ahead! You've been warned.

Late Summer 2009

Let's recap 2011! Just kidding. I wouldn't make you sit through 12 months of my rambling nonsense. So instead, I give to you, new nonsense! I'm not even going to get into "What a Year it's been" kinda talk. Every year has its highs and its lows and everything in between. From this site, you've seen me funny(just agree), angry(not really, I take that out on Fred and my Mom), lost(when my kids are gone), overwhelmed(when my kids return), and sad(must we go there again?). But hopefully, while writing about our domestic adventures, I've been able to entertain you. And after all that I've written this year, who knew that a trip to the Piercing Pagoda would prove to be my most popular post ever? Maybe all my posts should be Mall related! How's this for a title: "Skinny-Jeans for overweight middle aged gay men. My adventures at Hollisters"

Fall 2009

By the way, it's 3:30a.m. on Friday morning. I just woke up and can't get back to sleep. I knew I wanted to do a post today but am truly "winging it". I have no new photos so I went to the archives. I also have no idea how long this post will be. If you want to get credit for visiting me, just skip this whole mess and write something like, "Great photos, Happy New Year". It's all the same, right? Oh, hey! Before I forget, if you comment from your phone, your comment is sent to me but usually hours later and I then have to manually enter it. I'm not sure why it does that. Let's continue.

Christmas evening 2009

I'm feeling better as a writer/blogger this year. I rarely(most times) make the mistake of writing its when I want to write it's anymore. And it goes the same for then vs than. Yes, it has taken me 43 years to correct that but still, I did it! Sadly though, my fingers type faster than(I used to write "then") my brain thinks and therefore, I occasionally leave out words or sometimes entire sentences from paragraphs. It's really bad when I'm trying to make a joke and leave out the punch line only to discover it a day later after 500 people read it and realize that I'm an idiot. Still, you gotta hand it to me for getting that "it's" thing down. "It's" been a real bitch!

Winter 2010

It also took me awhile to find the right balance for me as far as blogging goes. You've seen a few posts, over this year, with me struggling through how often to blog. Although it seems small, two times a week seems to be the right amount for me. I could do more but a couple of things would happen. I would get tired, frustrated and then breakdown. And, the quality would certainly go down hill. Two times a week seems to give me time to work, play and think in between posts. I've also learned, from you, that not blogging for a while is okay too. Thanks! But I think the greatest thing, for me, is not blogging on the weekend. Maybe one day, when the kids are more independent, I can do that again. But for right now, I just can't.

Spring 2010

If I may, I'm proud of myself for keeping this blog mainly about the children. I've gone to other topics sometimes but I always come back to the kids. No one else knows the topic/subject of my children better than I do. I don't know much about anything else but them. And the best part is, no one can question my facts or sources.

Summer 2010

And while visiting other blogs, I've learned quite a lot about other bloggers. Here are just a few things:

When dealing with Liberal Baby Boomers about politics, know your facts. They'll eat you alive!
Lesbians love to write about feelings and emotions. Pages and pages and pages of feelings. I don't really "do" feelings. At the same time, I love hanging out with my Lesbian Friends while they're are going on an on and I still beg for me.
Mommy Bloggers only care about your opinion if you agree with them 100%. Otherwise, don't comment.
Bloggers who post only negative things post after post, should really just stick to posting to Facebook where that's the norm.
Some of my favorite bloggers have closed up shop or are on a very long holiday. That makes me sad. I still have my fingers crossed that they'll return.
And finally, Gay Male Bloggers. I'm one of you! Although I walk around like a mother duck with her babies following behind, I'm still you. If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you decorate with Queen Anne furniture, do I not talk about you behind your back? If you put on a Donna Summer album, do I not dance? Obviously, I have some gay male followers but not as many as I thought I would have. Please guys, correct me if I'm wrong. Do you not think that I'm "down with the struggle" and that I sold out to be a parent? If so, I need you to stick around and soon you'll learn what it has cost me just because I am Gay and live in the U.S. And when you do, you will kneel before me in wonderment. And while you're down there, you might as well make yourself useful.

Late Summer 2010

Some more observations.

If I'm the only one who ever comments on your site, it would be nice if you just stopped in to say "hi" every now and then. I'm just sayin'!
Some of you are Writers by nature or training. You're very smart, I get that! However, you don't need to impress me with your "smartitude". If you were born and raised by factory workers in Ohio, take pride in it. It's called a livingroom, not a Parlour.
And please, I beg of you, don't write that you "settled" for adoption. It's insulting to me and your children.

Early Fall 2010

Ah, I feel better now. I'm glad I got that all out. Do I have any Followers left? You know I love you. I just like to mess with you every now and then. I'm so glad that you know that I'm harmless and even though I fill my blog with "snarkyness" and sarcasm, I'm glad that you are all smart enough to read between the lines and know that I mean nothing by it. Except when I wrote about mixing Hunter Green with Burgundy. There are some things I just can't joke about. Hmmm, am I being funny or serious right now? It's hard to tell. I know! Just don't chance it!

Winter 2010

Oh stop it! You know that I'm head over heels in love with you. And here's why. I want my blog to succeed so that my children have this to look back on. Yes, I wrote before you all came along and if you bailed on me today, I'd still write. But you, by visiting and leaving donations(comments), encourage me to keep on going. So as it is, you are also giving a gift to my children. So thank you.

Late Winter 2011

I want to take another break. I really do. And it's time that I do that. However, Our Simple Lives(our real lives) are/is about to get more "interesting". And what kind of good for nothing blogger would I be if I didn't write about the "juicy stuff"?

Fall 2011

You've all been great this past year. Without even knowing it, you forced me to improve in so many ways. You've made me laugh(especially when using the word parlour) and I may have even shed a tear or two over some of your posts. And no, I do not have pictures of me crying! Just take my word for it. And most importantly, you were there(blog wise) to get me through December. Otherwise known as Hell Month 2011.

I'll see you all next year. Because I was too lazy to make a new one, please enjoy the year end video that I made for 2009. And you can see how my babies have grown since then. Note: The twins joined us in April of that year.

Happy New Year!
Your Friend, m.
p.s. It's now 5:30a.m. and I finally feel like I can sleep. Except I have to proof read this mess of a post. I'll take a nap and schedule it to post later.
p.s.s. If I made the "it's vs its" mistake without even realizing it, don't tell me.
m.

"Is this the little girl I carried"

2011-12-27T09:41:00.000-05:00

Her Majesty and me, 2004

Last week, my Mom and I took Claire out to the Mall for an early Christmas present.

Remember when my girl looked like this?

Claire 2010

After years of begging, mostly from my Mom, I caved in and let Claire get her ears pierced.

Seriously, all of her friends have their ears pierced but was I holding out. And because my Mom kept planting the idea into her head, Claire continued to ask for it more often. Then, a couple of months ago, Fred suggested that we do it for her for Christmas.

So then it was three against one(me). I just wanted her to stay my baby for as long as possible or forever. Whichever came first. Obviously, Claire is not my youngest child but she is my baby girl. And in a house full of men, she is a protected Class. It's really how I think. If I come from upstairs and I don't spot Claire, I'll ask Fred, "Where's Claire". He'll say, "I don't know, outside somewhere". Then I go into crazy mode until I find out where she is. Usually, I find her in some corner reading a book or something but it freaks me out that I don't know where she is 24/7. Obviously, I go nuts if I don't know where any of my children are, but girls are special and need to be guarded.

So once again, I gave in and Claire was thrilled. I had her call my Mom and tell her that we'd come for her the following day and head out to the Mall. We picked up my Mom around 6PM and drove out.

In the car, I asked Claire if she was happy. She said was happy and nervous. I asked, "Why nervous?". She replied, "I've been waiting my whole life for this". She really knows how to get to me sometimes.

The young women at the Piercing Pagoda were extremely kind and professional. I was so grateful for that. Beyond some of my "minor" issues, I have major issues with Customer Service. If I get "attitude", Lord help the person who just gave it to me. My only problem was, what should have been both shots to the ears at the exact same time, didn't happen. Still my girl was a trooper.

Oh, I need to let you in on something. I got a new camera about two weeks ago. I basically feel like I'm back to the drawing board when it come to photography. Please excuse the non-sharpness of these photos. I will get better.

So Claire has her started-earrings in for the next month. I'm sure my Mom is currently shopping for big hoop Donna Summer earring as I type. Unless she passes down hers from 1979.

Yep, that's me behind the pickled eggs and german potato salad.

But now, it's all over. I've dreaded this day forever. I fear that it's a slippery slope once one's ears are pierced. Pierced ears, butterfly tattoos, Pontiac Firebird, defendant on Judge Judy, Crack-Whore. I'm pretty sure that's how it progresses. Good thing I enrolled her in the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow Convent on the day of her birth. I look ahead!

See, she already got the look down pat.

But don't worry for Claire. She knows what she's doing.

She's a girl with a plan.

It won't be my plan but I hear that's usually how it goes. And although I want to keep her a baby, I think she is growing up. "Blossoming even as we gaze".

If I have my way, Sister Claire's dad, m.

This is my Christmas post

2011-12-23T07:36:00.000-05:00

Hang in there little buddy. It's almost over.

The kids are counting the days down. Joshua gives me updates every morning at breakfast. How he keeps track of that, when he can barely put his underwear on the right way, I'll never know. But in him, I see a child's Joy at Christmastime. And that's nice. I'll take it!

It's been a busy month and I've not had one break. And my body and mind are noticing it. The only reason that I can think of for Fred not strangling me is that it must be a Christmas miracle. I've been an absolute bear. And not the fun kind with leather and chaps either.

Johnny has to put in volunteer hours through the school and so he and I worked at the Food Bank on Monday night. Tuesday, he had a choral concert. He moved his lips but I'm not sure if he actually sang. But he looked so cute that I just wanted to run up on stage and kiss his face off. But apparently they frown at that in this school. Wednesday night I took Claire to Brownies. Like a fool, I accepted the role of Cookie Mom for our troop's Girl Scout Cookie sale starting next month. Those poor Moms have no idea what they're in for with me running the sale. Claire may be the only girl left in her troop come March. Then last night, my Mom and I took Claire out for an early Christmas present. I'll tell you about it next week.

I'm off work today and will not go back until January 3rd. My house is a pigsty and so I'll spend today cleaning. I'm in the mood to just tear through and start tossing stuff in the trash. Unfortunately, since I'll be doing it without anyone in the house noticing, you won't see it here as part of my decluttering mission. But believe, I'll be feeling good come 4PM. Then I'll have a couple glasses of wine, and while I'm drunk, I'll leave incoherent and trashy comments on your beautifully written and Holy Christmas posts. Would you like me to visit you?

We'll spend Saturday rushing to organize the house, buying last minute food items and generally getting everything in order for my Parents when they arrive Sunday morning for Christmas. Why Fred spends the day worrying about the meal and I go nuts worrying about how things look, is beyond me. My Mom and Dad don't give a lick about how the house looks and would be just as happy to be served Swanson Chicken Pot Pies. Still, it's what we do. The Gays are good with major productions. And don't even get me started with the closing ceremonies and my "Away in the Manger" solo number complete with three wardrobe changes . I've hardly had time to practice at all! And if the livestock doesn't arrive by Noon, I'm totally screwed.

Then, after the kids go down, we'll be up late wrapping presents and placing them perfectly under the tree as if winged Angels, with flowing blond hair, courtesy of Loreal, placed them there themselves. And if no child wakes me up in the middle of the night, I may be able to squeeze in six hours of sleep. Doesn't that sound exciting? But it's all good. Because come Christmas morning, we are running on total adrenaline and caffeine and it will all be a total silver and gold blur by 1PM.

I'm not sure yet if I'll take the kids to the Chrildren's Mass on Saturday evening or the Sunday morning service. We'll see. Or I just may end up going alone. That may be a Christmas present to myself. Who knows!

I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and get everything that you want and not what you actually deserve. See, I just made a "funny". Not funny? Oh well. Geez, you're so sensitive.

Oh, I almost forget. Remember last week when I acted all "I'm better than you because I'm not ready for advertising on this blog". Since then, I've been contacted by two different companies wanting to promote their site here. I didn't care for the first one's approach so I ignored him. However, the second one came across as sincere and very pleasant. Still, since I made a stand, I need to stick by that. That said, I did write back to Liz, thanked her very much for what she was offering me but said that I couldn't do it just yet. But because I liked how she contacted me and I like her company's product(s), I told her that I would link her site in my next post. And just so you know, I am not getting paid(boo hoo) and I'm not accepting what they offered me for free(don't tell Fred). I just wanted to give them a Christmas gift. So if you have a second, click on over and check out their site. I hope they make a million dollars off of my gift to them. Please visit mymemories.com.

But truly, the Holiday Season is meant to bring out the best in everyone. Let it do that for you. Open your hearts to all the goodness. And don't you worry your pretty little heads over crazy ole me.

"I'm barely getting through tomorrow"

"But still I won't let sorrow bring me way down"

"I'll be just fine and dandy"

Is it just me or does it look like she's performing on The Love Boat? I half expected to see Isacc walk over to hand her a drink.

Merry Christmas.
Your Friend, m.

In Perspective

2011-12-20T08:09:00.000-05:00

Fred's Birthday Post

Thank you all so much for reaching out and wishing Fred a Happy Birthday. Although I had to force him even to read what I wrote. It's very rare that Fred actually reads my blog. I suppose I could confess horrible sins on the blog and he would never know. Then maybe he would find out some other way and be upset. And I would say, "Fred, I confessed to you in writing. I thought you were fine with it since you didn't say anything. Didn't you read my post?" See how I would turn it around to make it his fault.

But honestly, as much as I pour my heart out and think that I making a nice gift by blogging about him, I really need to remember that Blogging is my thing and not his. He would be very happy to never be known of in the first place. I'm the one that obviously needs to stand on a mountain top and scream out "Here I am! Love me"! I'll open this question up to everyone. Do your spouses think it's very odd that you get excited by blogging and sharing everything. By the way, I really don't share "everything".

Post Pirating

Last week, I had a great(I thought so) post that I was going to do this week. I knew my topic and even had the title picked out. Then Sunday night as I was 'Marking All As Read', I saw my title on another Blogger's site. As I've mentioned before, I don't blog on the weekends anymore. However, I stopped and read it. And I thought to myself, "Are you f*&^#ing kiddin' me?" It was exactly what I wanted to write. Well, almost. Sadly, it was probably written better than what I would have done. At least in my mind. Here's the funny thing too. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote something and then started reading pieces from others posted hours before mine. And wouldn't you know it that this same person had something almost identical. So had that person read mine, I would have looked like a huge copy cat. So because I think this person is a fabulous writer and I never want to be accused of copying, I'm not doing my post topic.

After my Sister's passing

I went back to work the very next day. It was the wrong thing to do. Although I had a huge project to attack, looking back, it could have waited two or three more days. If you want to know what's basically happening in my life, read my blog. And although my boss has this site, I now know that he doesn't read it because he didn't mention my sister. Just so you know, I share my site with mostly everyone. It keeps me honest. Anyway, he gave me some assignments. I wrote them down. I left his office, misplaced my notes and then forgot about them. He emailed me a week later wanting updates. I felt like crap. It took me all of 15 minutes to gather the info that he needed but still, I felt like I had failed.

Also, as is common in our office, when something like that happens, usually a Supervisor will put word out to everyone about the loss. And although my site is out there, I still didn't want an email sent out. I know I'm nuts but I feel like it says, "Look at me! Pity me"! Although I do feel pity for some of you. I mean, I see how you think you can still use hunter green and burgundy in your design pallet. But I would never tell you that to your face. I have manners you know!

Anyway, I really should have let him send that email out. Because just when I feel I'm getting over it, I get another sympathy card in the mail from one of my caring co-workers who just heard. I think a ton of sympathy cards at one time would have been better than opening a card now, expecting to see Santa, and I see a Cross in the sky with doves flying around it. What an odd mail combination I'm getting these day. "Sorry for your loss. Ho Ho Ho"!

Is Christmas over yet?

I wonder if I'm actually depressed? I know, this has been what you all have been waiting for. Me to breakdown before you with tears flying all over the place like a Japanese cartoon character. Oh, but I won't give you that glory. I'm strong, dammit! You won't see me crack. Although that would increase my blog popularity. Last year and the year before, I was going nuts with Christmas posts. I couldn't stop myself. This year, have you seen one yet from me? No. It's just not in me.

And I want to thank all of you who reached out to me, via email, asking me how I was doing. You know who you are. You're the ones that I didn't reply to. I wanted to, really I did. I just couldn't go there. I thought it would be better to ignore the situation and continue writing funny posts and leaving vulgar comments on your blogs. You see, if I spend my day laughing, there is no time to cry.

Thank you for letting me get that all out there. I'm sure I'll get my "funny" back one of these days. I know I left it around here somewhere.

Your Friend, m.

Happy Birthday Fred

2011-12-16T08:07:00.000-05:00

I'm totally ga-ga over this guy.

He refused to let me photograph him properly so I'm stuck with pulling out old photos. The one above was taken in the Fall of 2010. And since I'm on a kick of showing you old photos this week, I'll continue it. Just deal, okay?

Yes, today is Papa's birthday. He's, well, old! I'm not gonna sugar-coat it. But my Fred is lucky. Only because the older he gets, the more attractive I find him. Sure, he was a total doll when I met him 21 plus years ago.

Don't you just love him!

But I'm not into boys. I'm no Sandusky. There is something about the lines in his face that drive me crazy. Or maybe it's his eyes. Although it's probably his nose. But it's most likely one of his other parts.

Visiting Fred's village in 1990

In my last post, you saw a photo of us on the day we met. I look like total hell in that photo because I didn't want to be at that party. Neither did Fred. But we were dragged there and we met at the door. I went with my Friend Rebecca and a friend named Chip. Inside, Chip said "I wanna meet that guy." I said, "I don't think so, Chip!" The party was a mix of everyone. Including kids around 20 who had rich parents, hated those parents, dressed like they were in the Cure, and thought they knew everything about the world. This was not my crowd.

Fred, my Mom and my Sister when she could still get around with a walker.

We talked all night. Mostly about our Families. I let him know that I had visited France while in high school and I did my best to try to remember the names of the towns. I failed miserably. He didn't seem to mind. I'm not sure he was interested in my brain anyway at that point. Good thing!

Fred, John and Roman, Summer 2000

When he and his friends were leaving the party to head back to the college, where they were studying and teaching for that year, we said our goodbyes. I was lost. I didn't know what to do so I kissed him. He looked shocked. I got scared. I asked the host, Don, if Fred was even Gay. Don said yes but that he was studying to be a monk. That wasn't about to stop me.

Fred with John and Claire in 2003

The following Monday, I called his college from my office.. I said, "This is Mark blah blah from the blah blah blah office in blah blah and I hosted a party this past Saturday evening and there was a French teacher from your college who attended. I wanted to thank him for coming and was wondering if you had his address" They proceeded to give me his life's story. I sent him a card. I wanted to text him but it hadn't been invented yet.

Fred and Claire in 2004

He wrote back immediately. I mean, I would too if I had a chance with hooking up with me. We planned a rendezvous. That's French for "let's get it on" I was still living at Home and not quite Out so I had to make up a lie for my Mom's sake. I told her that I was with Rebecca visiting her friends in NY. But in reality, I was traveling along the river and through the woods past Penn State to see Fred. When I got home, my Mom questioned why there were so many dead bugs on my windshield since I was in the city. I thought, "Who is she, Ms. Fletcher on Murder she wrote"? Either I came up with another lie which threw her off or Oprah came on. Whichever, the case was closed.

Fred, John and Claire. Epiphany 2006

That was about how it went for the next month. But in late May, his temporary teaching assignment was over and he had to return to France. I went to visit him in December. Still not Out, I told my Mom that I was travelling for work. I would call her from France( no caller i.d. back then ) so she wouldn't worry. She questioned if I got caught up in the rain storm that passed through last night. I said I slept right through it. See how scary it is to be in the closet. I hope some of you parents are taking notes.

Fred, Jacob and Joshua in 2009

For seven years, we flew back and forth to France and the U.S. to be together. Finally, in 1997, Fred got a job teaching at a local high school. Roman, our puppy back then, came to us soon after. In 1999, we bought a condemned Victorian in the city for a dollar(city program) and rebuilt it. John came to us in May of 2000 and so our Family began to form.

Fred and Joshua

Claire came to us in July of 2003. Thinking that we were moving to Reunion Island, we sold our house(for much more than one dollar) in 2004. We never moved to the island but it was too late to keep the house. If you drive past it today, it looks as if it's about to be condemned again.

Fred and Jacob

Also in 2004, Fred was no longer working and became a full time college student, again. We rented for about 18 months and purchased another condemned home and rebuilt it. It was and still is my dream home. I litterlaly poured blood, sweat and tears into that house. But we bought it as an investment and sold it as such in 2007. We took the profit, banked it and then downsized into where we are now. Then with a house 1/2 the size of the last one, we added two more children. I often think about how small this house is and how tight it is. Then I think that when this house was built in the 40s, the original owners probably had six kids shoved in here. Then I feel better, until I visit your blogs and see your Mansions. Then I hate myself and you. But I still leave a nice message. I'm kind like that.

Fred, Roman and Maggie

After six years, Fred finally started working again. The only thing that saved us, during that time, was the sale of that house in 2007. Four kids in private school and Fred in college, needless to say, we pinched pennies.

Most of the time

Fred receiving yet another package from Amazon

Although looking back, and perhaps I'm romanticizing it, but I don't remember struggling. All I remember is living. Alright, I do remember the stress. But I'm trying to block it from memory. So if you could not bring it up, I'd really appreciate it.

Taking a "boy's" desk and chckafying it.

It doesn't seem like almost 22 years. We really are good Friends. Everyone likes Fred. Sure, I'd like to strangle him sometimes. But then who would cook and do all the paperwork in the house? I gave up doing the bills years ago. And as far as cooking goes, forget about it!

The Triplets

We got a good thing going. And as hard as it's been to keep a bi-national relationship together, it's about to get a lot worse. Don't ask because I'm not telling you anything yet. But this coming year will prove to be our most difficult. I promise, as soon as I can tell you about it, I will.

All this, because I kissed him.

1992

But the important thing is that we have each other and we've overcome so many obstacles in the past 2 decades+ years. When you hear the story behind our story, you'll wonder how we made it at all. For any of you who already know what I'm talking about, this is not the time to discuss it.

2010

But it is the time for you all to wish Fred a Happy Birthday. And for those of you whose native tongue is French, I'm sure Fred would enjoying hearing from you. But don't go all "La-Ghetto" with your language either. Fred is a total snob when it comes to French. But don't let that scare you.

Fred's old man, m.

Not Ready. Not Yet.

2011-12-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

Meeting Fred. April 7th, 1990

Just recently, I was presented with the opportunity to be part of a larger blogging community. Basically, to join a group of like minded(sorta) bloggers. That sounds great and all, but part of it was to allow advertising on my site. It's not the first time that I was presented with something like that. And also, I've always thought about allowing ads here. But still, I'm not ready for it. Something inside me says that once I give in and do something like that, my whole way of blogging will change. And I don't want that to happen. Will it actually change? I'm not sure.

As I always do, I run my blogging thoughts through my blog-therapist, and longtime real life Friend, Lauren of Still+Life. Lauren introduced me to the world of blogging. I was a virgin until she had her way with me. Anyway, yesterday's session was on my blog controlling me. Would my writing style or topics change if I had advertisers? Would I be forced to promote their products? I suppose I have a billion questions but my point is, I don't want my blog to change. In fact, I'm anti-change! If you ever see a change on this site with how it looks, it's because Fred has logged on and found it boring. So he'll tweek it. I've written before how I enjoy the boring(ness) of it. It's real simple. I post a photo and I write about it. Anything fancier than that makes my head spin.

Meeting John. May 2nd 2000

And if change has to come, I prefer it to come slowly. Sudden moves make me nervous. A few months ago, I did a guest post over at Jessica's at FourPlusAnAngel. Because of that, I had like 20 new followers overnight. Although I loved doing that guest post and Jessica was so generous for opening her blog up like that for me, I don't see myself ever doing it again. Sure, you know I love Followers(guilty). But because I like to learn everything about them, seeing 20 new ones overnight was way too much for me to handle. I know, I sound like an ungrateful bitch, don't I? But suddenly, I had to(because that's me and I'm nuts) look back and check all these new folks out. Most of you stuck with me because really, you had no choice. I tend to be clingy and you can't get rid of me. It's sort of my thing. Some find it charming. Most find it creepy. So although I would love to have this blog go crazy-nuts with Followers, I think I'm better suited to the occasional one signing up at a time. Welcome Dawn!

Meeting Claire July 11, 2003

I enjoy my own personal style of writing and getting to know folks. I've mentioned before that if you go back to the beginning, I haven't changed how I write at all. I'm happy because of that. So for right now, I'm going to say no to Advertisers on this site. I won't be doing any more guest posts. I won't be linking up for writing cues or memes(what does that mean anyway?). I'm not holding any contests or promoting waffle irons or any such thing. And just recently, as you already know, I stopped with the weekend blogging which is heavenly. And, don't get pissed at me for this, but if I can't relate to your post, you don't want me to comment. That would be like lying to you. And that works both ways too. If my stuff doesn't interest you, don't feel like you even have to say "boo!" And for that matter, if you're totally bored with my blog, please feel free to bow out. I'm a big boy(now) and I can handle it. At least I think I can. Well hopefully. Maybe. We'll see!

Meeting Jacob and Joshua. April 7th 2009

As blogged about 400 million times before, I started this blog to journal the lives and growth of my children. I hardly go back and read old posts. Mostly because I fear stumbling over a two year old typo. However, when I do, I'm always surprised to see how little my kids were even only 2 years ago. And when they read this in the future, I'm sure they're be pretty annoyed if I do entire posts on the heath benefits on a Sharper Image foot massager. Even if Sharper Image did give me a free one to sample. Which I would love!

So I'm going to stay with what I know best, and that's my Family. I may have strayed once or twice, but I always come back. I don't know much about anything except them anyway. So why not stick to what I do know? I'm not closing the book on Advertising forever. I just might do it one day. Maybe even soon! But for today, I'm just fine. Now if Fred had his way, my blog would be a giant billboard. And I probably would have had a Sharper Image foot massager by now.

See you all on Friday.
Your Friend, m.

Gettin' down to the Nitty-Gritty

2011-12-09T07:47:00.001-05:00

With Special Guest, Melissa!

It's time to de-clutter again. As it is, I only have until January 14th to meet my goal of removing 365 things from this house. When last we met, I had 83 things to go. Are you nervous? I'm nervous! With each thing removed at this point, comes weeping and gnashing of teeth. What does "gnashing of teeth" mean anyway? You would think that I would actually take the time to understand phrases before I used them, wouldn't you? It doesn't sound pretty though. Will one of you rush to let me know what that is? Because right now, it's sounding major "drama queen" to me.

Anyway, yes, that's my old Friend Melissa sitting pretty up there on top. I gave up that chair and she wanted it so we made a deal.

Me: I don't want this chair anymore.

Melissa: I'll take it!

Me: What do I get out of it?

Melissa: Um, what?

Me: Well, you get a nice rattan chair and I walk away unsatisfied.

Melissa: Oh My! What could you possibly want?

Me: C'mon Melissa. We've been here before. You know what I want.

Melissa: Okay, but, um, you won't tell my husband will ya?

Me: And get my face punched in? Ah, I don't think so!

Melissa: Alright then. Just relax.

So she went ahead and gave me one of the best Mani-Pedis that I ever had. It was mind blowing!

Okay, it didn't actually go down like that. But as you can see from her face, I had her laughing and she could barely keep from busting a gut. So in reality, the payment for that chair was a photo and for me to totally abuse her on my site. "Thanks Girl"!

That photo was taken after our hike in November. Everyone came back to my house so she could pick up that chair. But I also wanted to give this picture and frame to her.

This was actually hers, and about 7 years ago, she gave it to me. Once upon a time, we had a huge house and I needed things to hang up on walls. This went into a hallway on our second floor. I was never in love with it but it was something. Plus, I had plan to remove the art at one point and re-purpose the frame. Never did! So it's been in my garage for the past four years or so. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted it back and she said yes. She also planned to remove the picture and put something else in there. And knowing Melissa, she probably found a piece of art that evening at some gallery and did it up that night. I'm just happy that it's gone from my life. One less thing to stick in a Tupperware container when I bite the bullet(crap! I meant dust).

They're wrong, you can buy happiness.

Joshua's toys

Did I ever tell you before that I buy the kid's toys from them? Well if not, I'm telling you now. "I buy the kid's toys from them". As much as I want them to actually care for and treasure their toys, they don't. And whenever something goes wrong in my life, I blame my Mom and Fred. Don't worry, they know I do. They're used to it. But you see, those two can't stop buying for the kids. I've been "Bad Cop" for almost 12 years now. I don't like my role but I've come to accept it as my lot in life.

Jacob's toys

There are times when I think to myself, "Gee Mark(I'm very polite when addressing myself), I wish it were me who took the kids on a shopping frenzy today". But then I look around at all the broken crap and that wish fades quickly. So unlike that whole "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" deal. Around here, it's more like "The Papa giveth and the Daddy taketh away". However, in my defense, I actually "buyeth" away.

Claire's toys

I know the kids don't play with 95% of what they have. And sadly, they mope around here saying that they're bored all the time. It gets to me. So to make us all happy. I pull out the wallet and they start circling. For each toy that they give to me, larger than a mug, I will give them a dollar. The scurrying begins!

Johnny's toys

Johnny has the most toys in the house. Not because he's been with us the longest, but because he is constantly asking for stuff. His favorite sentences begin with "Can you buy..." and "Will you take me...". It's enough to drive you batty. My Mom always says yes. Fred's split 50/50. Can you guess how I reply? Needless to say, he never comes to me to ask for anything anymore. So once again, I pay them to give up their toys that they're not using. It's a win-win situation. After I pay them, Fred takes them shopping. And yes, I understand that they are buying more things. But you see, they just gave up 26 huge things and may come back with a video game that's the size of my thumbnail. I'm about "space" people. I just would like to walk around my house and not trip over anything. Is that too much ask?

More clothes

Clothes are something that come in and go out constantly. I'd like to say that I'm ahead of the game but I'm sure I went right out and bought larger versions of this stuff shortly after this photo was taken. Still, I'm taking credit for this. If you are new to my personal de-cluttering challenge. I count stacks of clothes as One Item. Also, a pair of shoes is One Item. Just so you know, those three lone shoes did find their mates eventually. Sixteen more things!

No more babies.

Ikea dresser/changing table

I have no more babies in this house. Therefore, I have no need to plop up one of the kids on a table and change their diapers. In other words, I'm free!!!! Well, almost. But you get the idea. I advertised this on Craigslist. No responses. Three weeks later, I pulled it into the Family Room, down here in the dungeon and started using it to store toys and games and such. That evening, two people wrote to me inquiring about it. I hesitated but I told them that they could come and see it. The first couple showed up and it will work for them. They were super sweet and I'm glad it's going to a nice home.

I bought that bed, in the background, a couple of years ago. The "old me" like to shop for items that he didn't need. I still love it and I just put it there as I was moving it from the garage to the basement. I don't usually stand brass beds up against our fireplace.

Don't feel bad for him.

This was a bike that my Mom's neighbor left behind last year when they moved out. John brought the bike home but it needed work in order to ride it. It was never fixed and he has another one so I told him that if he wanted to keep it, to take it to my parents. I'd rather it rust down there than at my house.

That's it! 46 things gone!
Those toys aren't the biggest things in the house, but put them all together and they fill up a couple of containers. I'm not kidding when I say that it so nice being able to walk around and not have stuff everywhere. And then of course, getting rid of that chair, bike and dresser, freed up a lot of space. To be honest, I love that chair. But you see, I didn't need it. So I gave it away. If I were bossy, which I'M NOT, but if I were, I would suggest that you free yourself of unused things too. Even if you do like them. I promise you that it's a better feeling than storing it. And would I lie to you? Well, maybe. But I don't have a reason to. So there!

46 things gone.
37 more things to go.
And because you've all been so good lately, you deserve some music. Plus, I saw a lot of my Family this week and it brought back some great memories of trailer court family get-togethers. I wish my kids could experience how great those days were.

Your Friend, m.

November's Photo Dump

2011-12-06T07:34:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna take it easy on you this month.

Generally speaking, it was a slow month. And then of course, it ended with a crappy bang. And during this time, I decided that after I finish December's Photo Dump, I'm done with monthly ones and will only do it when I have about 10 or so photos. I realize that looking at 30 photos + is overwhelming. Spell checking those long posts is more than overwhelming. So I'll do something like Periodic Pictures Posts or something like that. We'll see. I have no real plan yet.

Thank again for all your wonderful comments and emails sent to me last week. I used your comments as my personal therapy. And no, you can not bill me for that. I'm sure you owe me somewhere along the line anyway. So we'll call it even. Let's start!

Shadow Dancing

I met a guy. No, not that way. A real life photographer came into the office who was going to do a shoot for a group that was meeting there. I pounced on him immediately! There are things, technical, that I do not know about photography and whenever I see someone who looks like they know something, I'm all over them. So I asked him a question about his equipment... and he ended up spending an hour talking to me. Later, we hooked-up downtown during the evening to shoot. It's been years since I've been downtown after 7PM. It was wild! But what he taught me for free was greatly appreciated. I have major issues shooting in very low light/the dark. I won't go on and on but I owe him a world of thanks. If you ever need a real photographer for a wedding or such, look him up. Here's his site. I can tell you now that I'm just not ready for formal weddings.

ZUMBA

That's my baby girl shaking her groove thing. One of the Brownie Moms teaches Zumba and she invited the girls to a class. If you can't tell, that's me in the mirror with the flash.

I don't know why this woman is picking weeds and putting them into her container. But when I saw her doing this, I just felt it was photo worthy. That's it. Nothing else. Please move on.

Zoo America

I escorted Claire and her brownie troop down to Hershey Zoo earlier in the month. I can only speak for myself but I find this the most boring zoo in the world. I could be wrong considering that I've not yet visited every zoo in the world. Maybe there's a suckier one. Who knows!

Johnny went with us.

The twins were with my Mom and John was bored so I invited him to go. I won't make that mistake twice. From the moment we got there, he was asking when we were leaving. Not even his DS could make him happy. But I got this surprise shot of him standing against this wall. My 11 year old baby is now 5'4". Sometimes I wear his coats. I would like to wear his Hollister jeans but sadly, I don't have a 28 inch waist.

Can you see the bison?

You can stop looking. They're not there. During the flood this past Summer, one drowned and because they didn't have time to get the other one out of this pen, they shot it.

Stumped

Over the Summer, I kept walking by, what was a tree with a tire swing on it. Every time that I saw it, I kept thinking, I should photograph that because it screams "Summer". But I never did and then a big wind came down along the river and knocked the tree over. So now you get to see a stump. Likewise with this one.

This tree was gorgeous all year round and for a few years now, I thought that it would be nice to shoot this tree in every season so that you could see what it looks like all the time. The tree behind it fell and the township decided to cut both down. So now I really do try to photograph what I want when I see it. You may say that it's only a tree. But the same goes with people. One day they are here and blossoming and then the next day, cut down. So, take a picture, it lasts longer.

During one of our hikes.

A very nice lady took our photo while we were hiking. Unless I make people take my picture, I'm rarely in them. So when people offer, I jump on the opportunity.

This won't be on our Christmas Card.

I know that I shouldn't laugh but, poor Claire, it looks as if she's about to vomit. Our actual Christmas Card came from this outing. First, Fred rejected it but then after realizing that I wasn't going to organize the kids again for another shoot, he accepted it. You'll see it eventually.

Coming to America

Only a month in the country from the Dominican Republic, Mariangel is now one of Claire's new friends. She and her Mom just moved four doors down. For never speaking English until November of this year, she does quite well. Soon I'll be asking her how to use lie and lay properly in a sentence. "Cuz my English ain't so good". But my "American" is perfect!

I love a Parade!

I actually don't "love" them but as the kids get older and I'm not as worried about people walking off with them, I'm starting to like these things again. So last month's parade was actually kind of nice. And I really enjoyed when these guys came marching through.

Ah, it makes me miss the 70s. Real bad! Not that I was doing "anything" in the 70s but still. Movember should last all year round.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Everyday Life, mailed a homemade loaf of bread to me that arrived the day before Thanksgiving. On her site, she showed how she made the bread. I don't cook but I commented something like, "I don't cook but if you could send one to me, I'd really appreciate it". So she did! I love getting gifts from blogger friends. So far, I've received art, chocolates, and soap and jam from Anke. But I just looked and I have over 200 Followers. So, what's up with the rest of you? And thanks Becca. It was delicious!

I could really go for one of these!

Too bad they're all empty. Well, except for the one that holds a bag of peas. I told my Friend Fern(Anthony) that he needed to hire me to clean his loft. Anthony struggles with domestic activities. So I went over there and he wasn't home yet and I snapped this photo. You should have seen the rest of the house. But oddly, he wouldn't let me take any more photos. Hmmm?

She's smart too!

But when you're pretty, you don't have to worry about books and learning stuff. Still, she loves to learn. Oh well! When I grow up, I want to be just like Claire. No, I don't mean having two grown men bend over backwards to please me. Although.... I'm just saying that she's pretty cool and she's gorgeous too. And although we can't go anywhere without people talking about and wanting to touch her hair, she hates her curls. Did I mention that she's nuts too?

Paula doesn't live here anymore.

My Dad, Johnny and I went out last week to clear out Sis's room. I was a little upset to see her name already gone under her room number. I wanted to save it. I don't know why, I just did.

But there it is, her whole life, now in five plastic containers.

Let me leave you with something happy.

Jacob, Luke, Kaseem and Joshua

Kids are coming out of the woodwork around here. Every five seconds, the doorbell is ringing or I'm walking though the house and there goes another one running by me. It really is hard for me to keep track of their names but I'm trying. I'm just happy that my kids have lots of buddies to pal around with. I'd like to move but I'd feel mean moving the kids away from so many neighborhood friends. So I guess I'm stuck here for awhile.

Done!

I told you that would be fast and easy this month. If you're new here and leave a message for me, make sure you plug in your email address or a link back to your site. I received some nice comments during last week's post but I'm unable to write back to say Thank You.

Your Friend, m.

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"

2011-12-02T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's been a shitty week

I know, I wrote a bad word. But I just had to get that out. Everyday this week I'm talking death and making some sort of "arrangement". Leave it to my Sister to die at a most inconvenient time. I mean, I had some laughing out loud blog posts to share with you all. But now it's all gloom, gloom, gloom. You people do know that I'm joking, right? It's actually all awful but I deal with life and death through humor. Seriously, who wants to hear someone whine all the time? I know I certainly don't. Plus, frowning gives you wrinkles and I'm not ready for those. Well, any more of those that is.

The last thing that I ever wanted to be when I grew up was an only child. So this is sort of sucking right now. You can ask my Mom, I was good little boy. My Sister was the rebel. As soon as I left home, I took advantage of my non-acne face and hit the town running, while my Sister met someone and calmed down. Only by the grace of God did I survive the 80's. You can figure that one out yourself. I can only assume that my mission was to grow old and provide for these children that God has sent my way. What else could it be? But all this week, I've been thinking about keeping safe and staying alive. I don't think my parents could handle any more of this crap.

I worked on Monday and Tuesday. I had a huge project to get done and I had set aside those two days, weeks ago, to accomplish it. I found it therapeutic to work and keep busy. But everyone around me was telling me that I needed to take time off. So I've been off since Wednesday. I should have stayed at work because I hate wondering around this house with nothing to do but think. Thinking is overrated. No wonder I've avoided it for years.

My Mom is having a rough time of it. She says that she has her "moments". My Dad has kept busy like me. We're both firm believers in don't ask, don't tell. But I'm sure he has his "moments" too. Plus, they have my Aunts and neighbors dropping in on them. Fred keeps wanting to talk about my feelings. Ugh. "Feelings" work my nerves. Who needs them! Remember, deep down inside, I'm still a Republican. I've learned to control those pesky emotions. I just think Fred wants me to crack and breakdown so he can comfort me. Maybe I'll do it just for him. I'll fake it.

The outpouring of love and caring from the community through Facebook or the on-line obituary and on this blog was overwhelming. Yesterday, I gave a group "Thank you" to those on Facebook. And because I was in no mood to reply to all your comments this week, please accept this as a most sincere Thank You to you. I'm always impressed with the effort that you all put into your comments on this site. It's like having a conversation with you and that's good for me. Also, I received comments from total strangers and over this next weekend, I will reach out to them personally. They didn't need to reveal themselves but they did. Kind souls. Plus, thank you to all of you who let me know through private emails or through those comments about your personal stories similar to mine. I know I'm not alone.

Okay, during my alone time, I got out there to shoot some random photos. It may be a downer so if you're not in the mood, just avoid it. I promise to be back to my 'trying to be funny, talking nonsense' self next week.

Your Friend, m.
p.s. If you want to leave a funny or snarky comment, I'm so ready for it now.