Our Simple Lives...

I'm not dead

2012-05-30T12:44:00.000-04:00

From L-R: Tete, Aunt Julia-Dawn, me, Mom

Behind us: Cousin Julie(Missy)

In the back: Aunt Pam, Cousin Amanda

Life is getting busy around here and so I decided to lay off blogging this week. No big dramas happening or nothing forcing me to stop. Just the Move is coming up and during all that, I'm off to D.C. with Claire's Troop to celebrate the Girl Scouts 100th Anniversary. It awful timing but I had promised to do it months ago.

Fred is stressing me over this Move so I spend my time avoiding direct eye contact with him for fear that he'll ask me something. As it is, he dedicated an entire week researching refrigerators. When we finally agreed upon a look, he went out and bought the exact opposite of what we decided.

I didn't care for the lens that my parents bought for me for my birthday. So I returned it and instead bought a dining room table off of Craigslist for the new place. It seats 12! Now I just need to come up with 12 chairs. So until my next birthday, we'll just have to stand. I'll just pretend every night is a cocktail party and serve everything on a napkin with a toothpick stuck in it. But I'll have to get creative on Spaghetti night.

Anyway, the kids are all great and life is good.

Although it might kill me, I will not be replying to comments for this post if you care to leave one. But I do owe some replies to some kind folks from the last post. I need to work on that!

See you on Monday. And if I have time, I'll give you a tour of the new house by the end of next week.

Your Friend, m.
Update: This just in! Go visit here and say hello.

"She works hard for the money"

2012-05-24T10:52:00.000-04:00

Yes, I miss Donna too!

My Claire really is a go-getter! And as time passes, she becomes more remarkable. I hope that you're all around to see what becomes of her because I think you'll be impressed. But mostly so I can rub it in your faces and and say "look at me, I'm a better parent than you!". Yes, I already decided that I'll take full credit for how Claire turns out. Fred can take credit for the boys. I don't want any part of that mess!

So as you already know, we had a neighborhood yard sale on Saturday. I was only there for a short bit because I took John and his Friend to Armed Forces Day. And the twins slept at my Mom's house. So I left Claire to run the yard sale herself. Don't worry, Fred was there.

If you were around last year, you know that I had a challenge of getting rid of 365 things from our house. I fell short by 33 items or so in the last month. I blame it on my Sister. Her dying totally threw a wrench into my plans. Although I doubt she tried to stick it to me on purpose.

But needless to say, we didn't have very much to sell at the sale. Still, we rummaged up as much as we could find so we don't have to move it in three weeks to another house. Interesting fact, empty hamster cages take up as much room in a bigger house as they do in a smaller one. See, now you can tell others that today and they'll think you're smart!

And although I could hardly believe it, Fred finally gave up his precious door. When we moved into our current house, we took down a wall between the kitchen and dining room. When we did, the door came down too. Fred couldn't part with it though. As much as I begged him, he kept saying that whenever we sold the house, the new owners may want the door. You know, to a wall that no longer exists. And even though it was at the yard sale, no one wanted it. So he dragged it back into the garage.

By 9:30a.m, I went off to to see what other neighbors were selling.

I think my neighbor Chris loves the camera!

Neighbor Craig's Junk. I mean, toy junk!

Do you have this same stuff at your place?

Then back to our house. I told Fred that he should label this track so people know what it is.

No joke, 10 seconds later, this dude comes up and asked how much the the Hamster track was. I was like "what?"!

I know this photos is off, but I still thought it was important.

No Yard Sale is complete without a crying kid begging for something.

Granny asked for it!

With the elderly, or me, you get an entire story when purchasing something. She was buying this cage for her grandson who has autism. She said that he is fascinated by anything that spins. And she believes that if he sees a hamster running on that wheel, it will make him so happy. Don't you just love it! And for 5 bucks, you can't beat it!

Since Claire drove this sale and was the only child to show up, we let her keep the proceeds.

$20.00 feels like a million when you're eight years old.

And I got back from Armed Forces Day to see her all tuckered out.

05/25/12: My Friend Rebecca Jo of Knit By God's Hand took the above photo and "beautified" it all up! That Girl does wonders. Go check her out!

Although I joke about the boys, I'm very proud of all my children. A million years ago, I killed myself just to prove that, as a gay parent, I was just as good as a straight one. Over time, and just by looking around, I KNEW I was. So I gave up that stupid thought. And you only have to check out my blog or meet my kids to know that they are genuinely happy and doing well.

I recently read something on Facebook, from someone older, that I have known for over 35 years. She was going on about the the evils of homosexuality. (First, let me stop you. Do not say anything mean about this person that you don't know. I won't have that on my blog. You can trash me all you want but that's it!). Anyway, had I been weaker, it would have hurt me. But since I "partied" wink wink, with her born-again son in the 80s, I know that I am living my life "out proud". So I moved on and left her to her hatefulness. Plus, she'll be dead shortly so what do I care!

On Monday, I was contacted by My FamilyProducts.net. In the owner's words: "My Family is a publisher and online retailer of books, music, DVDs and (forthcoming) games for children with LGBT parents. Our goal is to build a strong and diverse community of parents, teachers, journalists and bloggers just like you who care about the upbringing of children with same-gender parents, their overall representation and access to content that positively reflect families like theirs.

She asked only for my critique of the following video that they created. I'm trying to do one better by showing her commercial and website to you. Like everything that I show and advertise, I'm doing this absolutely free. I get nothing for this. And also, like the others that I have advertised for before, I hope that these folks make a billion dollars off of me. "Go America"!

Please take a moment and visit their website: http://www.myfamilyproducts.net/en/

Finally, I would like to thank Diane, The Blue Ridge Gal. After reading my Tuesday post on the Armed Forces, Diane created and emailed the Military button on the top of my sidebar. If you click on that, you will go straight to AnySoldier.com. Diane called me yesterday and, because I'm a techno idiot, she walked me though adding it to my site. Diane is a master at creating these buttons and more importantly, blogger headers. Go say "Hi". That's an order!

Your Friend, m.

Armed Forces Day

2012-05-22T07:45:00.001-04:00

First, I'm pissed. Half way through this post, all my text vanished. Is it a sign that I write too much?

Johnny slept at his Friend Dion's house last Friday night. They came back to our place around 9a.m on Saturday morning. Dion's Mom left a voicemail message for me saying that there was going to be an Armed Forces Day "celebration"(?) on City Island that day.

Jacob and Joshua were staying at my Parent's house and Fred was chillin' watching Claire run our part of the neighborhood yard sale. When Claire's in charge, I look for any excuse to get away. So off to City Island we went. FYI, City Island is an actual island within the Susquehanna River. It's part of Harrisburg City.

View of Harrisburg in the background. And that's about the extent of it!

When I was 15 or so, my Friend Lori drove a group of us into "The City" from our hometown. We got lost and were totally freaked out thinking that we were going to get carjacked. And seeing buildings higher than three floors put us in a state of panic.

Because I didn't have to babysit John and Dion, I went on my way to take some photos. Funny thing, I almost joined the Air Force out of highschool. But my Mommy wouldn't let me. Plus, I doubt that the umbilical cord would have reached to Germany anyway.

So instead of joining the military to protect our Country and freedom, I became the world's greatest Stateworker! And now I battle others for the last donut. Just like being on the front-line!

The Young Marines.

Seriously, aren't they precious! I photographed them being all nervous and stumbling through their routines. Still, they did a great job and I was so impressed by them.

I am going to investigate this for John. I think he needs the discipline. Or maybe I should just let Claire be in charge of him. That'll straighten him out for sure!

Fixing his Friend's cap before the Drill Sargent came by.

Playing "footsie" in the old days would have surely meant a dishonorable discharge.

Okay, now look at this kid. Isn't he just the cutest!

Mind you, I had my zoom lens so I really wasn't all up their business. Still, I thought it would be cool to have a shot of him looking my way. And then BAM!

"Hey kid, thanks for reading my mind and posing for me".

Alright, now to the big boys!

"Hey there, how's it goin'"?

Why I wouldn't have made it one day in the Air-Force without getting into trouble.

Is that a girl under that hat?

Next thing you know she'll be wanting to play sports!

I have no idea what he's doing but she sure looks pleased with him.

I really should have taken this photo from the front.

Then more photos of helicopters and such.

You know, I'm having fun here, but I need to let you know that I Love our Military. We have several members in our Family who have served and is currently serving in the Armed Services. In fact, my Sister Paula and I were named after my Mom's uncles, Mark and Paul,who were both killed within weeks of each other during WWII.

So I'm quite aware of how much I owe these fine men and women for keeping me safe and allowing me to concentrate on stupid things like worrying that I can't get this blog post out on time.

While I was snapping photos, I heard, "I think I know that guy". I turned and immediately I said, "Suzanne?". And I was right. Suzanne is an old acquaintance from my days in RiverView Manor and clubbing. One of my roommates brought her over. And although I haven't seen her in 20 years, I knew her right away. "Good to see you again, Suzanne! I hope you're reading"!

Then the young non-marines returned with their shoes half untied.

But he did buy a hot dog for me so all is forgiven.

I kept thinking that this older guy probably fought in Vietnam. I'm just guessing.

I'm also guessing that he was there with his son. Either way, I was intrigued watching them interact and how the "father" stopped to concentrate on every piece of equipment.

You know what, let me stop with the yip-yap so you can get on your way. Enjoy these last few photos.

Don't know him.

But I'm sure he meant the world to somebody.

Want to show that you appreciate what the Military is doing for you, please stop over to AnySoldier.com and see what you can do to show you care.

I found that site through Roger over at 3rdnlong. Also, I added the link in my sidebar. If anyone can tell me how to make it an actual "button", I'd really appreciate it.

Your Friend, m.

Quick note(s). I've had issues with Wordpress blogs that I visit not being emailed to me recently. If I haven't visited you in awhile, that's why. I rely on those email updates. Also, sometimes when I email people back, it comes back un-deliverable. Make sure you plug in your correct email address. Still, my reply to you does appear on my blog. m.

OSL on PBS

2012-05-18T08:38:00.000-04:00

Somewhere last month, we were contacted, through our attorney, by the producers of the PBS series, In The Life Media. For those of you who don't know(like me, last month) In The Life Media focuses on Gay Issues and the social injustice that we endure. But seriously, I can tell you more about Good Luck Charlie than I know about the world. My apologies to people who think. It's just where I am at this point in my life. Give me about 10 years and I'll be all in your face with my Politics.

Anyway, in case you haven't heard, Fred and I are having some Immigration issues. It's no big deal. Well, other than the ongoing threat that INS will show up at our door, kick it in and rip Fred from the loving grasps of his screaming children. But besides all that, we hardly ever think about it.

This is not my photo

It was emailed to me by the producer who took it with her camera.

So because we really do need to get the word out there about our struggles and those of 38,000 other Families like ours, we agreed to do yet another interview. I must tell you that these interviews wear on me a bit. If it were only the two of us, it would be easier. But I love my routine and anything that changes it throws me off. Fred is more easy going so I stick him with the details and I just show up to add some color.

But I can tell you that it's much easier that spending a hot and humid Summer week dragging your little kids all over D.C. lobbying for basic rights.

Meeting and begging Senator Kohl to support UAFA in 2007.

I don't think he ever supported us but at least Johnny got a cool cap and jersey out of it! See, the trip wasn't totally wasted.

Geez, where was I? I don't even know! So we agreed to the interview and I scheduled off from work for the day so that they could film us(in peace)before the children came home from school. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I can't tell you the number of times we've been filmed on that sofa or in front of that horse. Thank God we're moving because I really do need to change it up a bit.

Oh, you know what I was thinking the other day. And sorry for changing the subject, but, although my posts look long, it's only because there are lots of photos. Someone do me a solid and copy/paste my text and email it back to me. I want to see how long my posts(just the words) are. I would do it myself but it sounds totally boring. And as it is, I'm already bored writing this post and I'm only half way done.

Okay, so interview, capturing the kids coming home from school, looking loving and all that jazz and the interview is mostly over.

These lights made my mascara run. I had to call for Make-up every 5 seconds!

Here's a Immigration refresher. President Obama has the power to put our case in Abeyance. Meaning, it can be put on hold until DOMA is upheld or found unconstitutional one way or another. Why doesn't he do that you ask? Well, why doesn't any president seeking a second term do anything controversial? That said, he made me totally happy that he "evolved..." to understand that Gays should have equal marriage rights.

But I don't let that get me down. I've commented on a few blogs over the past few months that we continue to LIVE no matter what. As it is, we are currently buying a new house. Our Family dynamics is such that we need a bigger place.

So back to the interview. It went well. They interviewed us and then they wanted to film us interacting with the children.

"The Cheese Touch"

That part is easy since that's all we do. So watching them help Fred cook is not unusual.

But what you don't see is me setting the table for dinner. Yes, I do more than stand around photographing the rest of the Family cooking.

Here are those quiches that I talked about previously.

After preparing dinner, the crew(all two of them) went outside to film the kids playing. I watched from the window as I did the dishes. I'm so hoping that she didn't film our horrible back yard with the non-existent grass.

Then afterwards, the obligatory photos that show us all together.

Not my photo!

Still, the kids were into it! Great little actors!

Again, not my photo!

Okay, here's the deal. As I just found out last Friday, this will not just be the Mark and Fred Show. We are being grouped with five other families for the one hour show that's to be aired in August. When I find out when exactly, I'll let you know.

So after they left, we piled the kids into the mini-van(don't look down on me Kirsty) and we took a little drive out into the country(5 minutes away).

This is one corner of the yard in front of our new house. Way in the distance is the SOLD sign.

The owners were gracious enough to have us over to show the kids the interior. I'll talk about them later but all you need to know now is that they are super lovely people. They've lived there for over 25 years and their children are now in their 30s. As much as I tried to control them, my kids were going crazy nuts dodging from room to room. I tried to stop them but the owner/wife said not to because she was so happy to hear the sound of kids running through the house again after all these years. I'll go now before I cry.

Your Friend, m.

p.s. Don't blog about anything important over the weekend. My blogging brain shuts down at 5PM on Fridays.

LOST

2012-05-15T08:15:00.000-04:00

Fred was ill on Saturday.

And Saturday is suppose to be the day that I make my coffee and get to spend about a couple of hours in bed watching Judge Judy episodes that I recorded during the week. After that, we spend a few hours cleaning the house.

I'm the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up everyday. Around 5a.m. I woke to find Fred awake. He told me that he wasn't feeling well. I let him sleep in but went to check on him around 7:30. He still said that he wasn't feeling well.

On Saturday mornings, for the past month or so, the boys have Football Camp.

Joshua, in the middel(ish) in the orange

And at the same time, Claire does cheer leading.

Once again, that's usually our cleaning day. I prefer to do this on my own and so when Fred enrolled them in these activities, I was thrilled. He would take them on Saturday mornings, do the shopping, and I would clean the house. All was perfect.

But this Saturday, Fred wasn't feeling well and I didn't know what to do with myself. It was up to me to do these things. After camp, and because we were right outside of Hershey, the kids asked to take them to Chocolate World. I figured it wouldn't hurt anything since we had time and it was free. So off we went.

The actual photo came out great but I wasn't paying $15.00 for it. So I cheated.

We got home and Fred was still in bed. I had no clue how to spend my time. With the house for sale, it's continually spotless. And the kids either found Friends to play with or just hung out with themselves.

It was so weird being "alone". I usually write about being without the children but I've never written about being without Fred. I felt as if there were so many things that I wanted to say to him but he wasn't there.

I'll talk about this later but we had a film crew(two people) at our house on Friday.

While they were there, Fred and the kids made up a couple of quiches. We had one left over. Thank God too because I can't cook to save my life. I popped that baby in the oven for dinner.

One thing that I can easily put together is a basic salad. When Fred and I first got together, he showed me how to make a simple vinaigrette. Who knew that salad dressing existed outside of a bottle!

After dinner, the kids went back out to play while I cleaned up. The silence was killing me.

I called them back in for their showers. They watched a quick show or two and then I tucked them all in.

At that point, I had to wake up Fred. I couldn't handle being alone for another second. I made him watch Whale Wars with me. Fred and I have a ritual of watching t.v. in bed. We could watch it down stairs but we want to be near the children while they are falling asleep. It's easier that way.

He made it all the way through and then I was alone again, right beside him, watching t.v. until around 10PM. I didn't enjoy it. I just couldn't sleep.

Liz loves Richard

Obviously, I've always known that I love Fred. I just never knew how much I needed him, even for the basic things. But I know now.

My Uncle Danny died three weeks ago. I asked my Aunt Nancy if I could write about how she's doing. I might do that next week. My one day alone, is her foreseeable future So I'm not complaining. I'm just sayin'!

Your Friend, m.

It takes balls to be a good Mother

2012-05-13T17:07:00.000-04:00

I hope you had the best day ever!
Your Friend, m.
I'll not be replying to comments. See you later this week! m.

More about Me

2012-05-10T08:11:00.000-04:00

I know, a Blogger talking about himself. Hard to believe, huh?

Also, while I was on break, another Blogger, Lisa of Mommie Dearest Strikes Again, held a contest in which the prize was a gift card to Target. Let me tell you this. I love Target. Unfortunately, the Gays are suppose to hate it for some stance that Target has or something blah blah blah. I don't know, I hardly pay attention and furthermore, I really don't care. But you know what I do care about, providing for my children. So when I saw "Mommie's" giveaway, I was in!

Alright, I'll come clean. It was actually a Giveaway for Starbucks. But since I had already won a card from Starbucks, Lisa offered to turn it into a Target Card. She's like Samantha on Bewitched. She can just do that! So I was like "yes"!

Love my kitty!

I am so lost on what day/month/year this is but I do know that the card came in before I went on break. But things got all crazy and I just put it aside. Finally, on Tuesday, I told Fred that since we needed a few items, we should go shopping.

I love to clean. Seriously, I do! I'm nutty like that.

So we piled into the minivan and off we went. Fred knew that my main goal was to blog about the gift card and that he was responsible for photographing me. He really hated this and although these are nice photos, it was like pulling teeth for him to play along. So, I controlled my bitchiness until we were done. Isn't that kind of me!

I was picking this up for Fred. You do believe me, right?

There were so many things that I wanted to buy but it was important that I honored the card and bought the right thing. I hate waste!

Don't even think about it, Claire!

I mean, we require so little but at the same time, a Family of six does go though certain items in bulk.

For Example!

Did I tell you that Claire will be an actress one day?

Seriously, I have no idea where she gets this from. Can't be from me!

Sadly, no. I think I'm going through "The Change".

And did I mention that I love to clean?

But I wouldn't buy a Shark vacuum. I have a major crush on James Dyson and would buy one of his expensive machines if I could afford it. Fred's okay with my crush.

So I had enough with playing and I had to go find Johnny who was walking around with the boys. And I was holding my breath hoping that they weren't in trouble.

But all seemed to be good.

So back to thinking and shopping.

I'm all about blue these days. You just might see this lamp in our new house.

Or this one!

I love the shape.

But it was getting late and I had to use up my card. So I decided to buy something practical for the Family.

With jugs like these, I'd make an awesome Wet Nurse. Plus, they're fortified!

Then it was time to check out.

And because, in real life, I'm totally boring, I bought milk, juice, bananas, and coffee. Claire had some money and picked up that change purse that Joshua's holding.

Lisa, thank you so much for this Gift Card. It really came in handy and that can of coffee will last me for the next two weeks. And I'll think of you with each cup.

"Mommie's" Friend, m.

Pillow Talk

2012-05-07T10:10:00.001-04:00

As if you don't have enough reasons to be jealous of me.

Besides being totally awesome and, at the same time, quite humble..., I'm a big time winner! Sorry, I meant, WINNER!!!! It's true, I lucked out with cool parents, a great childhood and even scored a Frenchman without hardly even trying. And then throw in four great(most of the time) kids and, basically, I got it all! Alright, I might have a few flaws but I'm certainly not going to point them out to you here.

Anyway, a million years ago, fellow blogger Brandi, of Don't Disturb This Groove, held a contest in which she would design/make a pillow and present it to the lucky person who commented. Well, being a Winner, I thought, "hell, I could use another pillow"! So I commented and you'll never guess what happen next.

Oh my God, you're right! I did win! How did you do that? Well since you figured that out, I'll just continue. So Brandi wrote back congratulating me and I was all like "What, you mean me? Oh my, I can't believe it"! So I was happy and I thanked her very much. Then I waited. And waited, and waited and waited... Actually, I did wait a little bit but I wasn't overly concerned. But Brandi was! Honest to Pete, she was a total nut about it. I would get daily emails asking me about fabric choices and color choices and design choices. It totally turned into a lot of work on my end and if I wasn't so greedy about getting something for nothing, I would have surely blocked her email address.

The funny thing is, she was really like that! But here's the deal. Although Brandi will never say it, she's a perfectionist. She just wanted it to be perfect for me. And so every time that she would shoot me an email about making another decision, I would first call her some kind of Crazy and then I would answer her question. And then finally, I said, "Geez, I'm so tired. Just send me the damn pillow already!". Thankfully, she was able to laugh at her old crazy self.

So then that was all decided and as far as I can remember, she went on vacation. Then while on vacation, I would receive emails from her apologizing that she was on vacation and would work on the pillow as soon as she got home. I told her to relax and that I had bigger things, in life, to worry about. Which is, um, true.

So finally, we got to the mailing stage. Once again, I would get emails indicating that the package was mailed, what tracking number to use to trace it and when I could expect it. She just wanted to make sure that I actually got it.

So then one day, upon coming back from work, I spied, with my little eye, a package outside my door. I was so excited to receive it. So much so that I forgot to email Brandi to let her know that it had arrived. I don't know for sure but she probably had 10 different kinds of heart attacks that day when she didn't get an email from me.

But the next day, I did email her back letting her know that, Yes, I did receive it and, Yes, I was totally in love with my custom made, just for me, Pillow and all the other things that came along with it. She included wash clothes, hand towels, a piece of art for Claire and whole bunch of ice-cream fixins' for the boys. But really, all I cared about was the one item made especially for me.

It's all mine. Now stop trying to look up my shorts!

My first secret, that most of you don't know is, we are buying a new house. I'll blog about it later. But in that new living room, the major color will be blue. And since you're so smart, guess what item I'll be decorating it around?

Seriously, I can't get nothin' by you!

Brandi, thank you so much! And even though you exhaust me and I can't even imagine what you must put your husband through, I am totally gaga about this beautiful pillow. The kids love it too. Jacob even tried to touch it last night and, p.s. long story short, he won't be trying that move again!

Brandi's Friend, m.
p.s. Hopefully, by the end of this week, I'll talk about something else that I won.

All talk and no action

2012-05-04T08:41:00.001-04:00

While I was on break back in early April, I received two special packages in the mail from fellow bloggers. It was my intention to have written about those gifts by now but I still haven't. Those folks are not requiring that I do so, but still, I said that I would and I really should keep my word. So although it might take me forever, I will eventually.

As if we need more complications in our lives, we've taken on/accepted more responsibility that will be upon us in the next few weeks. My Mom says, "Why can't you just be normal"? No, she doesn't mean it like That! What she does mean is, I just can't NOT be doing things. Does that make sense? You'll read about it as it all happens. But just know that it's all good things and you shouldn't be worried. One thing is kinda normal but the other one is way out there. "Mom, if you read this before we talk today, don't panic! Also, thanks for the new camera lens for my birthday. I'll give it a try this weekend".

This week, I found it impossible to keep up with the million and half blogs that I read on a daily basis. Did I miss anyone's birthday? Sorry. But for some reason, I just couldn't seem to read them all. That happens sometimes with me.

That's it! I got nothing else. Thanks for reading the most boring and "nothingness" post that I've ever written.

I hope that you have a great weekend. I, myself, probably won't sleep at all but that's sorta my thing. I mean, God has given me 24 hours to each day. Why waste them with my eyes closed. Sleeping is for Losers!

And just because I feel like it, Alison Moyet

Adele can suck it!

Your Busy Friend, m.

Closure

2012-05-01T08:22:00.001-04:00

As you know, my Sister, Paula, passed last November. The day after that, my Dad and I went to the nursing home to collect her things. For some reason, I took her wheelchair home with me. I spent the better part of last year trying to declutter my house and here I was adding to it. So there it sat in my garage for months. I saw it every single day and I think it wore on me.

Between now and then, I've written tons of posts and I've tried to keep them upbeat. And regardless of how funny I thought my posts were or how many (!!!!!!) I added at the end of each sentence, someone always commented something like, "I can tell that you're still sad". Sorry for assuming that you all just skimmed though my posts. I guess I can't fool you.

Yeah, dealing with our lives in general and then being reminded of her absence on a daily basis every time I hit the garage was playing head games with me. Therefore, that baby had to go! I posted it on Craigslist for sale. No takers. Then, I made it Free to anyone who could prove that they actually needed it. And I was going to be a total prick about it too. If I didn't see someone dragging their ass down my driveway, they weren't getting it. Still, no takers. So I called my Sister's nursing home and they were more than happy to have it donated to them.

Seriously, it felt so good to find a new home for that chair and especially to a place that I knew could use it.

I suppose that there will always be a general sadness about me. But I'm so tired of thinking about the Dead. The Living keep me busy enough.

Your "old" Friend, m.

Bon Appetit!

2012-04-27T09:08:00.000-04:00

A Couple of months ago, I went to see my Friend, Anthony, play at one of his gigs downtown. I only spent an hour there because I'm under a strict curfew but I did make the best of it. I took some fun photos and ran into some old Friends too. Specifically, Ron and Nathan. Okay, I suppose that we're more like acquaintances, but I've now decided to upgrade them to Friend status. See how that works!

A few days after meeting them at the restaurant/club/piano bar(???), they wrote to me asking if Fred and I could join them for dinner. Let me tell you people something. Fred and I are never asked out anymore. We used to be but after a few times of saying no, because of kid scheduling, the invitations stopped. And listen, we were never upset about that. I think it's perfectly normal.

So of course, I jumped at the opportunity. Even before I called my Mom to see if she could babysit for us. And if my Mom is at home, she'll always take the kids in. Don't you just love her!

Nathan talking with Nora

The evening before the Dinner, Nathan let us know that it was sort of a Progressive Dinner. I say "sort of" because it only involved two houses and one set of chefs. I had thought that we were just joining Ron and Nathan for a small dinner and all of a sudden, it was a big deal.

Ron enjoying life!

Fred and I drove downtown trying to remember if it's proper to be on time or fashionably late. But by the time I paralleled parked our Dodge Caravan, we were late. I'm just kidding you, I know how to parallel park. I'm not a girl!

Hired entertainment

Before entering, we examined each others clothes just to make sure that we didn't have "signs" of people who have four kids. You know, chocolate finger smudges on our khakis or sneaker prints on the back of our shirts. You know, the usual stuff. But we were fine and headed on in.

It was a casual affair and a nice mix of people too. Half of them I already knew.

Here's the skinny on the evening. There is an organization in Harrisburg called Common Roads. I linked it so if you want to look it up, have at it! But at the very heart of it, it's an organization dedicated to education and support of the young gay community. Seriously, I'm sure there's more to it than that so if you want some real facts and not the ones that I just made up in my own head, go see it here.

Anyway, they have these functions periodically and people donate services to be auctioned off to raise money for this organization. Our Friends, Jim/Keith/Kevin and Kevin, donated an entire evening of drinks and dinner. Long story short(that was already long, wasn't it?), Ron and Nathan bid on the Dinner and on March 31st, hosted a dinner for their Friends. How cool is that!

I started my blogging break on 04/06/12 and I didn't have time to write about it then. So I am now.

We started the evening with drinks at "The Kevins" and then eventually moved across the street to Jim and Keith's place for dinner. A few years back, Jim had taken a few weeks off of work to take a cooking class in Tuscany. You know, just a basic Italian mainland course. Nothing fancy. In fact, I was thinking about asking my boss if I could take a few months off to fly to Tibet to learn how to weave baskets.

But seriously, everything was fabulous and I was stuffed. But that didn't matter because the Fabulousness kept coming.

"The Help", 2012 style!

When Nathan had originally invited us, I asked, "Can I blog about it?" And he said that I could. I mean, I was going to anyway but it's always nice to get permission.

And although it has taken me this long to do it, I'm so glad that I am. After the dinner, I made copies of these photos for Ron and Nathan but until yesterday, I really didn't look at them. I went on break and that was that!

Killer smile!

All of these photos are mine. Meaning, I took these. I say that because once seated for dinner, I passed my camera around the table. I thought that it would be fun to see the dinner from everyone's perspective.

By the way, did you know that there's Life after 9:30PM on a Saturday? No, for real, it's true! And furthermore, I look fantastic in candlelight. And I got photos to prove it!

Made-from-scratch cookies

I could only eat one of these cookies. It was delicious but my belt was about to pop.

Homemade Ice-cream too!

Plus, I had to save room for this ice-cream above. I could have sucked down a gallon of that stuff.

"Let's here it for the boys"

When dinner was over, we applauded our Hosts and our Chefs. They did a wonderful job as they always do. I've eaten at Jim and Keith's before and they never disappoint.

More Hooch. You know, one for the road!

Don't worry, I didn't go there.

But Jeff did!

Nora, his wife, was the designated driver. Good thing too! Is he even awake in that photo?

Young Gays in love!

Okay, as usual, when I take a billion photos within a few hours, I like to share them in one of my video/slide shows. These photos were taken by me and the party guests. That's what makes them so much fun. Yes, the video is long and no, you don't have to watch it. I made it for me anyway. So there!

Ron and Nathan's Friend, m.
Thanks Boys!
p.s. Kathleen, I enjoyed our phone coversation yesterday. You're a hoot!

I'm cheap!

2012-04-24T08:01:00.002-04:00

You knew that already?

Wow, you're very perceptive! And here I thought I had fooled you all. Oh well! But let me expand on that. I hate paying a lot for clothes. Especially when it comes to the kids. No, I like when they look nice but I refuse to pay a lot for their clothes. We live in Pennsylvania where we actually have seasons. So the kids only wear the clothes for, maybe 5 months at time and by the next year, they have out grown them. So I tend to shop frugally.

To purchase clothes for the kids, I shop at a few consignment stores in the area; Once Upon A Child and Tomorrow's Child. I love these stores because you can find some great pieces for two or three dollars. I'm not even joking. I can even pick up jeans and shirts for the boys for a few bucks. But for Claire, I go all out and spend up to eight dollars some times. I know, I'm crazy, right! But seriously, I take no interest in spending tons of money on things that we'll only need for a few months. And I just love finding bargains!

About four or five times a year, I occasionally find that I have an hour or two to go shopping on my own. I head straight to the consignment shop to purchase clothes for the kids. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean John. Unless I can find Hollister, American Outfitter or Aeropostale, he's not having any part of it. But for the three little ones, I'm still good. Nothing makes me happier than to leave the store with 20+ items for under $100.00. Okay, I lie. Some things do make me happier but I don't want to get into that right now. My blog is still PG!

Jacob never cooperates

The boys are easy to shop for. Jeans and t-shirts go a long way. But for Claire, dresses. If I find something beautiful for her at these stores, I buy it. Last Fall, I found the dress that you're seeing. It wasn't the Season but I thought ahead and figured that she could wear it this Summer. To tell you the truth, I bought four Summer dresses for her that day. I couldn't stop myself. And further more, if I find something that is gorgeous but is a few years away from fitting her, I still buy it.

Claire is my personal Barbie Doll! God and Claire's Mother saw fit to leave this girl in my hands. All of my children mean the world to me. But being my only girl, I do put Claire up on a pedestal and treat her like royalty. So while I can put the boys in jeans and such, I make sure that Claire has pretty clothes just in case she wants to "dress up". Mostly, she'll never wear the dresses and prefers to wear jeans and casual cothes like the boys. But if we are going out, she'll want to look the part.

Fred now works at the college that he attended for years and years and years. The school was having a celebration/graduation(?) for the LGBT students on campus. Fred was invited and so was his Family. It was a casual affair and not fancy at all. Good thing too because I'm sure I couldn't scrounge up anything formal for the boys to wear. But I remembered that I had dresses for Claire stored in the attic. I pulled them out and she chose this one. Good choice!

Getting tired of me photographing her.

We attended the function and the kids, being the only kids there, were bored out of their skulls although I found it interesting. (Excuse me while I be an old man here for a second). Never in "my day" would there ever be such a function for Gay students. But bravo to them that such a thing was held. Although I found it funny listening to the stories of overcoming obstacles because they're Gay. I almost laughed out loud thinking that they wouldn't have made it one day when I went to school. The same way the older Gay population laughs at me when I talk about my struggles. I confess, I got it pretty easy and that's only because of those who came before me and made it so.

Now she's totally over me using her to practice.

So at one point, I took the kids out and we walked the campus. It was a gorgeous day and they needed to run. But still, I made them pose for me. This would be the first time, since getting my Canon, that it was warm enough, and I wasn't depressed..., to get out there and practice with the kids.

Aren't they cute!

I took several shots of them on these steps.

They're actually laughing at me. Sometimes I'm kinda bossy and order the kids around. Johnny is mocking how I speak to them and they're having a laugh at my expense. As long as I get my shots, mock away! Plus, this was his actual birthday so I couldn't very well yell at him then. It was bad enough that I dragged him to this function.

The following is pure bragging.

Look, I know damn well that that these kids are gorgeous. That's why I chose adoption. I wasn't risking it with genetics. You never know what you're gonna come up with! Sometimes when people say, "Oh, your kids are so cute". I say, "Thanks, I bought 'em that way". I love seeing the expressions on their faces. They don't know whether it's appropriate to laugh or not. It's hysterical! I'll do anything to amuse myself.

My Monkey Boy

I just love these kids

And the only explanation as to why I have them is that "somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good".

I really wish he would tie those shoes. When did that become fashionable?

Princess Claire

Fred said to make the photos larger. Lauren said to change up the background to see if I would like it. I can tell you, for "now", I like it very much. Thanks Lauren! And I hope that you had a wonderful birthday yesterday.

My kids' cheap dad, m.

12

2012-04-20T09:42:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Johnny!

Twelve years ago, I was a gym-rat without a care in the world besides looking good and color coordinating my living room to fit the season. Well, that all changed when Johnny came along. Within months, I could barely fit through the gym door and my burnt orange throw pillows lingered on way past Thanksgiving. I know, there's nothing sadder than a disheveled Gay. Thank you for caring.

Oh right, back to John. Yes, today is his birthday. Standing 5'6" and built like a linebacker(I think that's someone who plays football, right?), he hardly looks like a 12 year old at all. And he's torn right now between becoming a teen and still wanting to be a kid. In fact, there was this 14 year old girl sniffin' around the house a few months ago but John was happier skateboarding with his buds. Good thing too because I'm not ready for all that! And don't worry about the girl, the sprinkler system took care of her.

By the way, guess who got his braids cut off? Yep, beach season is coming and he didn't want to deal with sand or any of that mess. That would be a nightmare!

John caught a cold a couple of weeks ago. And when he gets sick, he's a bear to live with. But overall, it's been a pretty good year for him. He's calmed down a lot and Thank God! I think most of that is because I now let him go off with his Friends for hours on end. But when his Friends aren't around and he's "bored", stay out of his path. I often say that I miss Claire as a baby. But with John, I say "hurry and grow up already"!

I'm very grateful to my son, John, though. Because he has been such a handful and has totally put me through the ringer, every kid after him has been a piece of cake. I can now totally parent blindfolded and with one hand tied behind my back. Still, I'd be lost without him and I tell him that all the time.

And although we are almost to the point where I can wear his Hollister hand-me-downs, he will always be my little baby.

I still call him "baby" sometimes. So far, I get away with it.

Have a great weekend everyone. I'm trying to come back.

John's Dad, m.

My Blog Post

2012-04-06T07:38:00.000-04:00

Long post ahead. I couldn't stop myself.

Before I begin this, I'd like you to know that I have no idea where this post is going. I'm channeling my high-school creative writing class by just starting to write.

With blogging, I find that, over time, I tend to repeat myself. One subject that I constantly review is how lonely I get when the children aren't here. And if you've been reading for awhile, you've seen that topic appear several times. Another subject that I cover periodically, is/are my views on blogging. Specifically, my blog.

I want to thank Tara of Taradacactyl for guest blogging for me on Monday. Don't you just love her! And thank you all for commenting on her post. The comments were hilarious! I especially love those who actually thought that she was speaking about actual Monopoly. Just to make it clear, Tara was speaking about sex. The comments where people were talking about playing monopoly with their siblings or children had me rolling on the floor dying. But still, I liked seeing those. What it did point out to me was who really reads the context of my posts and who just looks at the photos and assume they know what I'm talking about.

Tara was overwhelmed with the amount of comments and I sort of pressured her into her being the one to reply to you. Because I trust her, I shared with her access to my comment system program. When I made the changes, I messed up and then neither one of us could access it. Yes, I screwed myself and not in the good way. I've made several attempts to contact the Comment folks but they never got back to me. I've had a lot of trouble with Intense Debate deleting comments or blocking them from appearing. Still, I found it better than even the new Blogger Thread. I loved that I could reply to your comments and that you were emailed my reply. And I would have missed that. But thanks to Stasha at The Good Life, I'm now going the way of Disqus like so many others before me. I'm hoping that it works the same way as Intense Debate but without all the drama. It took Fred several hours to purge I.D. from this site. The result, I lost every comment that was ever made on this blog. Had this happened last year, I would have been suicidal. But because I now have experienced "real" loss, I'm okay with it. The most important thing is that my journal and it's history is intact.

Speaking of, I frequently write about replying to your comments. And although it's a lot of work, it's actually something that I love to do. I love the open communication. I don't like putting something out there, you spending the time to read it and write to me, and that's it. What's that all about?

Back in January, when Fred and I were going through our major Immigration stuff and being in the media and such, this blog acquired about 70 new Followers. That was something to see people joining by the hour, literally! And as much as that felt nice and totally boosted my ego, I found that I hit my breaking point. Let me be more clear. Big time bloggers gather Followers by the minute, daily, and forever. I think that that would be an incredible ride. For whatever it's worth, I discovered that I will never be one of them. And here's why. When someone follows me and comments, I tend to follow them back, get to know them and then we are life long-time friends. But when several started appearing a day, I found that I could no longer keep up. Here's the part that really gets to me. Several of them leave comments constantly and they are the best comments too. Although I respond to them, I've not followed them back. And I feel awful about that too because they are so dedicated to reading my ramblings. But you see, I'm at my limit of blogs that I'm able to follow. I know many details about my current bloggers and I like the connection. Still, I find it hard to keep up. I can't bring myself to follow any more.

Let's talk about my sidebar. You may have noticed that I have have added a few things over there. And you probably think that they are ads. Well, in a way, they are ads. However, I am not being paid for them. You see, from out of the blue, people contacted me about placing their info on my blog. And because I felt like it, I put their info there, for free! How long will I keep it there? Who knows! But both parties were sincere and I believed in their message. It doesn't hurt me one bit and I hope they profit/succeed in their individual missions because of me. My only problem is, how many more folks, reading this, will now want me to advertise for their cause? We'll see!

And now the elephant in the room; my donation button. Did you see it there? Of course you did! Don't pretend you didn't. Placing that button on my blog was a major decision for me. At first, I felt like a beggar. But I don't know if you noticed or not but I've never asked you for one penny. It's there and that's the way it is. And yes, I have had people send donations to us. And each time that someone does, I contact them personally and thank them sincerely for their gift. I also explained to them that we are not poor and if we were starving to death, my parents are here to step in. Money donated will go directly into paying for our Immigration fees and nothing else. I really do think and know that how we are being treated, by the Government, is so unfair and if you must know, with Fred not working for years and also then paying for his school, we have lost out on hundreds of thousands of dollars. Does it sicken me to think of that? You betcha! At the same time, what we have gained, between 2004 and 2011 when Fred wasn't working, is Jacob and Joshua and a complete understanding of the real value of things and money. Fred doesn't want me to blog about things that we purchase for fear that you'll think that a donation is going to "whatever"! Trust me, it isn't.

Visiting your blogs: Do you like the comments that I leave there? Do I get too personable? Do you think I'm out of place when I disagree with you? I swear, I don't do it to be mean. Believe me, I can be a total bitch if you wanted. A few followers who I follow back come to mind. One in particular deletes my comments every time I say anything that even resembles that I may not agree with him 100%. He'll read this, it's okay. I think it all started when he was going on and on about Downton Abbey. I wrote that Maggie Smith plays the same character in every show/movie that I have ever seen her in. That's true by the way. She's a one-note gal! Anyway, I then saw an hilarious clip on Sluggy's site later on in that day spoofing Downton Abbey(check it out!). I emailed the clip to him thinking that he would get a big kick out of it. No reply. I then went to his site to see if he replied there. Only to find that my comment was removed. After a few more comments being deleted on his blog, I finally gave up visiting him. Yes, it takes me a while to get the hint. And it's too bad. I thought he was cute and kinda funny. Oh well!

Okay, what else? Oh, I know! The look of my blog. It's rare that Fred visits my blog. But when he does, I always hear that my blog is boring. What he means by that and he has told me is, there's a photo, text, photo, text, photo, text.... Yes, he's absolutely right. I know exactly what bores him and I know exactly what to do to this site to make it visually stimulating. All day long, I visit BEAUTIFUL sites that are like works of art. I purposely want my text to be on equal standing with my photos. I don't want one to outshine the other. And further more, as I have explained to Fred, this is a journal and I'm a story teller first. I lay this all out to tell a simple story. I toss photos in to break up the text, add to the story where needed and to keep you interested as much as possible.

Facebook: I deactivated both my personal account and my Our Simple Lives Fan page account on Wednesday. Those bitches changed the TimeLine thing on me and I'm no fan of it. But the topper was this: I clicked on an article, on Facebook, and read it. Five minutes later, I got a message that people "liked" the article that I had just read. I actually didn't know that I was being tracked like that and I absolutely hate it. So, until I have to organize my next Class reunion, I am done. Yes, I share a lot here but just as Aldonza said, "What I give, I choose to give"

Twitter: I tried really hard to get into it. And a couple of times there, I was going nuts with it. But I found myself going for days without it and to tell you the truth, I liked it that way. Maybe I'll go back one day, I don't know. But until I'm fired and the kids are all taken away by CPS, I just don't have the time. Basically, what I'm saying is, the more I got into Social Media, the more I wanted people to stop 'grabbing' at me. I'm finding that all I want to do is talk about Our Simple Lives and that is it. It was strange and liberating giving up Facebook and Twitter. Once again, maybe I'll be back one day. All I can say is that this is what I want now.

I'm going to take a few weeks away from Blogging now too. And that will be difficult because I really do have a lot going that I want to share. And I received/will receive special packages in the mail from other Bloggers that I wanted to write about but that will have to wait too. My busy life needs some nurturing and I must attend to it. Just know that all is well.

What, I've run out of photos? That means that I'm done typing for today. Seriously, that's how I do it. I throw a whole bunch of photos up there and then fill in the blanks with some words. Yeah, it's very scientific of me.

I'm sorry that I've been M.I.A. this week. I actually scheduled a few days off of work just to get things done around here. I completely forgot that the children had off for Easter break at the same time. Needless to say, I've accomplished very little.

See you in a few weeks.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. I have no idea what to expect from this new commenting system. We'll see together!

"She's Got Legs"

2012-04-02T08:29:00.002-04:00

"She knows how to use them"

Please welcome Tara of Taradactyl! That photo is from her website by the way. Don't you love it!

Tara and I were recently emailing each other and we got on the subject of posts that we have written but never hit Publish. Actually, that's wrong. I once wrote about a sorta hillbilly picnic that was hilarious. But then my Mom called me, said I was being mean and guilted me into removing it. So I put it back into draft form. But then Tara mentioned that she had a post but thought it might be too "risque". However, she sent it to me and since it hadn't been published yet, I begged her to let me use it.

Tara and her husband John are the parents of four children as well. So, we feel each other's pain. I mean, joy!

So, without further adieu, I give you
"Metaphorically Speaking"

hint: She's not really talking about a board game.

John and I often disagree about Monopoly. How often we should play Monopoly, what version of Monopoly we should play. John loves playing Monopoly. It seems like he thinks about it non-stop, and if he had his way, we would play Monopoly every day. My feelings towards playing Monopoly range from occasional interest, to indifference, to flat out resentment. John says I'm moody when it comes to playing Monopoly. He says that since I know he loves it so much, I should make more of an effort to play Monopoly with him. At first, he will gently say, "Do you want to play Monopoly?" After I say no several times over several days, he starts to get antsy and a little grumpy. It's amazing how closely his emotions are tied into playing Monopoly! Talk about being moody! Soon John starts to pout and insist that we play Monopoly. He says it isn't fair that I control how often we play Monopoly. He whines so much about it that I've told him more than once to either go find somebody else to play Monopoly with or just play Monopoly by himself. Then he'll say that he only wants to play Monopoly with me, not anybody else.

It's not that I hate playing Monopoly. Sometimes I'm the one who suggests we play Monopoly. I just don't have the interest level that John has. We are unequally yoked! I would be OK with playing Monopoly every now and then, whenever the mood hits me. Sometimes I'm just too tired to play Monopoly. Sometimes I just can't be bothered to play Monopoly. And sometimes I feel like playing Monopoly is gross and messy. But even when I do want to play Monopoly, it's often a different version than the one John wants to play. I might want to play the original Monopoly, and he wants to try some new, exotic version. Or else he wants to play a marathon game of Monopoly. There are times that I just rip open the box, throw the board out there and say, "OK! FINE! We'll play Monopoly! Let's just play a quick version though! Roll the dice once, go around the board right away, pass go and you're done. Badda bing, badda boom!" But John hates playing Monopoly that way. He likes to drag it out, going around the board over and over, slowly acquiring property and building hotels until BOOM! He wins. Because, as you know, he always wins.

I hate the pressure John puts on me about playing Monopoly every day. He says he needs to play Monopoly. He says I should respect that and be a little more accommodating. I tell him that sometimes I just don't like to play Monopoly. One time, he actually responded, "Oh yeah" Well, I don't always like to go to work every day, but I still do it because I know it's something that I have to do!" See there! He actually compared playing Monopoly to going to work. He turns it into a chore for me, a chore I sometimes dread.

This is where John always brings up past Monopoly games. "Remember that time you said you didn't want to play Monopoly and I talked you into it and you LOVED IT? Remember? It was one of the best games of Monopoly we ever played!" John clings to that "one time" religiously, clutching it to him like a rosary and chanting, "That one time, that one time." (John wants it noted here that it was more than one time that I was talked into playing Monopoly and ended up liking it.) I always counter back, "Yeah, that one time I ended up liking it, but there were other times that I didn't."

By this point, John is mad. It's been numerous days without Monopoly. He is irritable, quick to anger. He isn't sleeping well, he is distracted at work. All from lack of Monopoly. Meanwhile, I'm feeling fine and functioning at my normal level. "The problem with you," John says, "is that you won't let yourself play Monopoly! If you would just relax and try to make even the smallest effort to play Monopoly, I know you would enjoy it! But you are too uptight and you refuse to allow yourself to have fun and then I don't get to play Monopoly either." Then he stomps off to watch the Weather Channel.

This is the fever pitch of the Monopoly Debate. This is when tensions (John's) are running the highest. But it's all downhill from here, because the tide is about to turn. My interest in playing Monopoly is cyclical, and it's about to return. And John knows this; heck, he's the one who pointed it out to me in the first place! After years of observing me closely, John noted that my interest/lack of interest in playing Monopoly follows a monthly schedule, one that he easily tracks now. In fact, according to John, he has it marked on his calendar at work when I will be the most interested in playing Monopoly (smiley face week, as per John) and when I am the least likely to be interested in playing Monopoly (frownie face week). When he first told me that I follow a predictable pattern, I didn't believe him. But then I realized he was right and that made me mad. Mad that he was right about the schedule and mad that I didn't notice before he did!

OK, so maybe I am moody and predictable. But, HELLO?! If John is already aware of this, then why isn't he more prepared? Why does he get so upset when I refuse to play Monopoly? Didn't he know in advance what my answer would be, based on his calendar? I told him, "You just need to accept the way things are. Sometimes we play Monopoly and have a wonderful time. Sometimes we don't. Big deal. "You take the good, you take the bad; you take them both and there you have the facts of life!" Besides, I feel certain that if we played Monopoly every day it would lose something. It wouldn't be as exciting anymore. Just like if you ate steak every day, it would soon become commonplace and boring. You can't have light without darkness, good without evil and fantastic games of Monopoly with zero games of Monopoly.

But John wholeheartedly disagrees. He adamantly insists that he would love to play Monopoly (and eat steak) every day, indefinitely. And even faced with the countless years of smiley face/frownie face documented on his calendar, he still holds out hope that his power of persuasion can talk me into more games of Monopoly and more often. A boy can dream!

**************************
Thanks Tara. You kill me!
And now to you all who are thinking, "WTF? I've been following you for almost three years now. Why didn't you ask me to guest post"? I'm sorry, I don't know! I'm a Jerk I guess.

Stop over to Tara's site sometime. You'll see me there.
Tara's reply to your comments will only show up on my blog. I think! Who knows with my screwy comment system.

Tara's Friend, m.
p.s. If there were any typos in this post, it's my fault, not hers. ha!

"I Can't Stop This Feelin',"

2012-03-30T08:11:00.000-04:00

"Deep Inside Of Me"

Above, is my cousin Jamie's son. He was just born last month. Jamie now has five beautiful children. I'm kinda hoping that they hit rock bottom so I can take in a few of these kids. But so far, she and her husband Chris have been keeping it together. And these kids are so cute, I just want to scoop them all up.

I took these photos all within a few minutes after picking up Claire last week at my Mom's. I just dropped in to see the new baby. Jamie had no idea that I was coming and was prepping for a cook-out. So that I wouldn't get in her way, I was in and out of there quickly.

And although I'm showing these photos to you, I'm not actually here today to write about them. Instead, I'm here to talk about me. I know, how weird is it for a blogger to talk about ones' self? So bear with me here. I need to talk about all the time I have on my hands and how I'm not really handling it too well.

As you know, my Sister passed in late November. After that, my life got busier with Christmas, Immigration, Girl Scout Cookies and Roman and Sophia passing. Now, all of this is in the past. So here I am today with Too Much Time On My Hands. And between you and me, I don't like it. I know, I should be loving it and I should take this time to enjoy living and perfect this camera of mine. But I've spent too many years concentrating on other people that I don't know what to do when I'm not needed. It's only taken a short while but I've forgotten what it's like to be me.

It's now getting warm outside and when I get home, only Fred is inside. Jacob and Joshua are now seven years old and don't require me to watch them 24/7. Although, they are within ear shot! So, I come home, Fred and I have a drink and we talk. That takes about 30 minutes and then we move on. I check out one of the 8 million Judge Judy episodes that I've recorded and he starts preparing dinner. By the time dinner is over, I'm back to working with the kids on homework and preparing for bed. But it's those in between hours, where I'm not required, that get to me. And when the weekend hits, I'm totally anxious with hours upon hours of not being needed.

It's more than having too much time and everything being done. My main problem is that I feel guilty having time and being "happy" with that. You see, I would visit my Sister on Mondays and Fridays. Now, on those days, I still think that I need to go visit her but I don't have to. So I've caught myself thinking, "Oh, I'm so glad I don't have to go There tonight". And then I feel really awful. I mean, really really awful thinking that way!

When at work, I think about going home and what I have to do there. I'm so happy when I think I have a "free night". But then I get here and then I don't do anything. And so that I don't feel guilty about it, I'll make up chores just to feel busy. And then of course, I feel like I didn't stop all day. It's totally odd and I see no way of getting out of this cycle. As mentioned, the kids aren't hanging on me but they are still near. Therefore, I can't just go off on my own. And I don't really start any major projects because, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking that I'll be interrupted. Crazy, huh?

That's it! I just needed to get that out of me for some reason. My whole blogging week has been Emotional. I think I may be turning into a girl. Or possibly something even worse!

I apologize to my cousin Jamie for using this post as my personal therapy. Since I haven't visited her children in over two years, I think the best thing about my free time is that I get to see people who I haven't seen in so long. I just have to visit with four kids following me. Which isn't easy and not relaxing at all.

This is the rambling kind of post you get when I'm not busy. Just imagine what kind of loon I'll be when they all move on.

Come visit next week. My theme will be Blogging. I've been working with another Blogger to host my first guest post here. And unless she totally pisses me off, you'll see that on Monday.

Have a great weekend everyone!
Your Crazy Friend, m.

"What's Love Got To Do With It"

2012-03-28T08:52:00.003-04:00

"What's love, but a sweet old fashioned notion"

My neighbors keep moving away these days. But I don't take it personally. They're all coming up with some very logical reason as to why they must go. Well, at least I believe them.

Anna, and her daughter MariAngel, moved here from the Dominican Republic late last Summer or early Fall, I don't remember exactly. But Claire and MariAngel became tight Friends as only 8 year old girls can do. If they weren't playing at our house, they were playing at her house. It was all very cute and worked out well for everyone.

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Fred and Anna became close Friends too. Fred works out of the house now and Anna is home during the day. So, Anna and Fred would get together or run errands together since Anna didn't have her driver's licence.

You see, Anna met a neighbor of mine while he was vacationing in the Dominican Republic last year. They married quickly and she moved here. We know our neighbor but never hung out with him. He was just there and we waved and he waved and everyone went along on their merry way. Anyway, we had them both down one time for drinks and all he did was mock and put her down right before us. Fred and I were a little stunned. And of course we didn't laugh. He played it off like he was joking. It wasn't funny.

Why Can't This Be Love

Yes, these are my old shoes that I wear around the house. What of it?

Anyway, they are going through the same Immigration process that Fred and I are in. The only difference is that their marriage of seven months or so was quickly being processed through the system while ours of almost 22 years, next month, is being tossed out with the trash.

I Want To Know What Love Is

I was going to title this post, Mad Men, because that's how I started to feel after awhile. Here we sit, Fred not working for six years, selling our houses, and fighting the Gov't and here comes this couple who skips easily through the system. The worst part, for me, was the free legal counseling that we were handing out. Yes, Fred and I now have a basic understanding of the Immigration system. Even if that same System doesn't work for us.

Tainted Love

But it was hard to stay angry at Anna because I like her and MariAngel so much. They are both so super sweet. And then I went to feeling sad for her as she was starting to be treated badly. I won't go into too much detail because my site is popular among the neighbors. Although we all know those specifics. But sadly, her household became physical, he refused to let them speak Spanish in his presence, and the police were brought in. But what I can share, since it's public knowledge, is that the husband was arrested and upon being released the next day, was told not to come back to his house for two weeks.

Still Loving You

Being told to stay away and actually doing it are two different things. So to be safe, Anna and her daughter spent the next several days in our house. And her last night here, we gave her an American BBQ as a send-off. Claire was loving life having her Friend stay with us! During that time, Anna made preparations to go back home to her Family. Her husband had closed her cards so she was broke. A neighbor purchased her plane tickets. And another neighbor drove them to the airport.

Do You Believe in Love

A couple Sundays ago, some neighbors gathered at 8a.m. to wish them safe travels and a happy life.

The Look Of Love

Claire made a card and gave it to MariAngel.

Love Is A Battlefield

And the funny thing is, through all of this, Anna truly loved him.

Anna, I apologize for being angry over Green Cards there for a bit. I promise, it had nothing to do with you.

Anna's Friend, m.

"Give me all your lovin',"

2012-03-26T15:47:00.000-04:00

"all your hugs and kisses too"

Although I struggle, I've never set this new camera of mine to Auto. Half the time, my photos come out a complete blurry mess. I usually delete most of them quickly. But sometimes I'll keep those blurry photos or the ones where my light setting is way off because there is something in them that I like. And even if you can't make out the details, you can get the gist of what's happening.

I put the following photo up there with my favorite photos of all time.

I think what I love most about this photo is that it puts me in mind of what a memory might look like. You remember the situation and the feeling but the details are kind of hazy.

Claire slept over at my Mom's house on Saturday night. Every once in awhile, Claire needs her "girl-time". I do the best that I can but I think I spend too much time yelling at the boys for breaking things and not enough time painting toe nails or drawing hearts on construction paper. So off to Nanny Camp she goes! Where, may I add, she's allowed to sleep in and wake up whenever she wants. And when she does, my Mom gives her breakfast in bed. When I was living there, my Mom barely made breakfast at all!

Sucking up the Nanny Love

When my kids are down there, my Parents wait on them hand and foot. It's ridiculous! And although I loved "my" Gran to pieces and vice-versa, had I tried to sleep in, while staying over, instead of getting up to clean with whoever else was there... Well, let's just say, you got up and cleaned if you knew what was good for ya!

What dreams are made of

So yesterday, when I went to get Claire at my Mom's, I just snapped these photos of them on her porch. It took all of one minute. But that minute gave me a memory that will last a lifetime.

Alison of Mama Wants This! wrote this morning, "post your favorite post of all time". Well Alison, I think this could be it! Your timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Your Friend, m.
p.s. Sorry about that lovely post. I don't know what came over me.

"Knotted, Polka Dotted"

2012-03-23T15:28:00.000-04:00

"Twisted, Beaded, Braided"

Last week, somewhere after Jacob ran face first into my van and before Sophia dying, I took Johnny out to get his hair done. My Friend and co-worker, Cheryl, said that she knew someone who could tackle the job.

Miss Cheryl. Isn't she cute!

We both started, at our office, in 1989. I had worked two years in another department prior to that. In fact, today is my 25th anniversary! Isn't that freaky! And I'm barely 30! How's that even possible?

Anyway, if you recall, I started dreadlocks on John last Fall. And that was going okay there for awhile. And as much as he wants it to grow, he is still an 11 year old boy who is constantly on the go and thinks the daily upkeep of his hair is too much work. As it is, I spend most of my "free" time worrying over Claire's hair. With John not keeping his hair short, I'm just extra crazy.

So a few weeks ago, he announced that he wanted to take out the locks and sport a fro. I said "No". So then of course, I came home the next day to find that he did it anyway. Well, at least half of it which looked like total hell. So because of that, I had to undo the rest of his head which wasn't fun because dreadlocks actually "LOCK". It wasn't fun for me and it certainly wasn't fun for him.

I need to let you know something. I've relaxed a lot since the kids are getting older. Especially with John. I know he's on the verge of becoming a teen and I'm letting him express himself a lot. So I'm giving him a ton of wiggle room for him to be "him". Do I like it? Not really. But still, I allow it because I know that it's something that he has to do. I'll ask my Mom but I'm sure she had it easier with me. All I wanted was for my my turquoise Izod shirt to match my khaki Izod pants. Everything was tucked in and where it should be. Oh geez, now I got me missing the Reagan years. Ah, Sigh!

Thug!

So when Cheryl suggested that a friend of hers could braid hair, we connected and then that night, I took John over there.

I wasn't going to include this photo but it makes me laugh. If this would have been me doing his hair, he would have stood up and left the room with his hair half done. But since he didn't know this woman, he sat through the pain. And that was mostly from her still removing the locks.

But he was a trooper and sat there the whole time.

And by the "whole time", I mean about 40 minutes. I was fascinated by her work and speed. Johnny's hair is only about 2.5 inches long and she was able to do this with it.

I do wonders with Claire's hair but for the life of me, I cannot seem to figure out how to braid. And the funny thing is, Fred can. Which pisses me off! But still, even he wouldn't attempt to do John's hair.

What was great is that this woman just does this stuff on the side and so it was super cheap. I like that!

And every step of the way, Johnny kept wanting me to show him the photos I was taking of his hair. That helped him sit there longer too, knowing that it was coming together.

And when it was all over, he was super excited to get home to show to all his Friends. It makes my heart happy to see him happy.

Although I loved her work, the woman wasn't happy with her job and we go for a follow-up tomorrow afternoon. You know, when my shift selling the last of the cookies ends. And I'm glad we're going tomorrow because, as mentioned, he plays like an 11 year old boy and his hair is looking like a wreck again.

Thanks for visiting me all this week.
I hope that I was able to make you smile a little bit.
Your comments are always so interesting.
Have a good weekend and remember that I don't blog on the weekends so please don't post anything interesting, okay? Save it for Monday!
Your Friend, m.

"Celebrate Good Times, Come On"!

2012-03-22T16:02:00.000-04:00

Song Title, for this Post, graciously suggested by Tara of Taradactyl

And truer words have never been spoken. Last night ended two months of complete Hell. I took the Cookie Cash Box with me to Claire's Brownie Meeting. And while the girls were putting together their SWAPs, Miss Kay and I sat down and starting going over receipts and paperwork.

Let me just say this. I mentioned before that Kay was my savoir and I mean it so much more right now. She took all of my crappy notes and half written receipts with hardly a signature to be found and made those numbers work. She called me around 9:30 last night with questions and when I woke this a.m, there was an email from her saying that it all worked out. It was written at 11:30PM. Deadline for entry into the "SYSTEM" was midnight. The poor woman. I'm in her debt and I really have to do something special for her. Once I'm done with Fred, I'm totally going to marry her, wash her dishes, fold her laundry, spend hours just talking about only her feelings, and give her daily foot massages just like your husbands do for you.

The troop still has about 70 boxes and it doesn't even bother me that I'll be standing in front of a bank, this weekend, selling my stuff. I mean, my cookies! You know what, that still doesn't sound any better. Anyway, all I care about is that the numbers worked out and the Cookie Nazi won't be calling or emailing me over the weekend. That woman loves her cookie money!

I know that this will seem odd but I've had so many nightmares in which I find myself short hundreds of dollars. They are almost as bad as the ones where I'm late to class because I can't find my locker key. I still have those nightmares too!

Oh! I almost forgot! Since Saturday, the parents would stop into my house to settle up their accounts. By Sunday, I had over $3000.00 sitting in my basement. That would be the same basement where gobs of neighborhood children were running in and out of. After I nearly passed out realizing that I left the money down there, I flew down those stairs and as non-panicked as I tried to look in front of pre-teens, I scooped up that box, ran to my room and started counting again. I almost threw up I was so scared.

With my Sister passing in late November, all the stuff related to that afterwards in December, Immigration interviews in January, this cookie mess for the past two months and my pets just dying, I really do feel that I can start to breathe again. To be honest with you, my Simple Life can't take much more.

Hi old Friend. No, not you, you expensive evil little box of bland nothingness!

So yes, I'm thrilled that this is over. But guess who isn't? If you guessed Hitler, you're right! For my German speaking Friends, you may want to turn the volume off. Although I have no clue what he's saying, I'm pretty sure he's not actually talking about cookies. And listening to it may not be funny. From what I hear, Hitler was no Jon Stewart!

Wow, the man really liked his cookies. Claire and I should have knocked on his door! On second thought, maybe Fred, with Joshua dressed in Claire's uniform, would have been a better choice to go.

Your Friend, m.

Oh, for crying out loud!

2012-03-21T16:52:00.000-04:00

"I know all there is to know about The Crying Game"

A lot of my Readers find my blog by mistake. They google words like "Simple Living", "Living Simply", "Gracious Life". They come here expecting to find beautiful designs, recipes and someone using words like "Sweet and Lovely". I know it must be a shock to their system when they see photos like the one above. Most runaway quickly but some actually stick around. I love these Followers because they giggle at my less than P.C. comments. And that makes me laugh. So see, we all win!

For the life of me, I forget why Joshua is crying. But whenever one of my kids has a fit, I like to capture the moment. And this is another reason that I need to carry my camera wherever I go. You just never know. Half the time, just letting them know that their tantrum may end up on my blog, calms them down. But then at other times, they storm away and up the stairs they go. And before they do, I yell to them "Don't forget to slam the door"! They never disappoint. Damn this quality built house! I pray for the day when I can have a new house with cheap hollow core doors. A boy can dream, can't he?

So although my blog isn't about "Simple Design", the reality, my friends, is that this is real life. And I'm sorry to burst your bubble but screaming kids is a part of real life. At least it is for Our Simple Lives.

Please let me know if you need to be redirected to sites where everything is always perfect. Cuz it ain't happenin' here!

Your Sweet and Lovely Friend, m.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood"

2012-03-20T15:51:00.001-04:00

Claire and Friends concentrating.

Thank you all for your kind words, yesterday, about Roman and Sophia. And just to answer most of you, the kids are fine. The weather was beautiful this past weekend and they were surrounded by Friends who kept them busy. Thank you for your concern.

On Sunday, the kids get ice-cream. It's a big deal because they don't usually get it at any other time during the week. Most times, we'll take them out. But when the whole neighborhood is in the house, we'll buy a large carton and then pull out things like chocolate or caramel syrup and sprinkles and such. Sunday was exceptionally busy at our place. Not only did Claire have her friends over. But John had two of his friends in too. That made for 10 kids running all over this place! And at lunch, Fred found himself serving seven instead of the usual four.

Remember the old days when parents told their kids to stay away from the Fags in the beautifully appointed house down the street? Well, those days are gone. Apparently, they now say, "Why don't you go hang out at Mark and Fred's for awhile"! Gays from back in the day were lucky. Sure, they were seen as total outcasts, beaten and spit upon by society in general. But I bet their homes were sparkly clean and they weren't spending the gorgeous day inside doing dishes. Lucky dogs!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Gay, m.

p.s. I know I'm a nut but I actually do enjoy the kids having their Friends come around. I can keep track of them that way.

Roman and Sophia

2012-03-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

Sophia: 08/05/97-03/14/12

Last Wednesday, I went down to the lower level(Family Room/laundry) to feed the cats before going up to bed. I discovered that Sophia had died sometime during the day. I petted her for a little bit and then put her away until the next day when we could bury her.

Sophia came from a pet supply store. They didn't sell animals but they allowed the Humane Society to bring animals in to find homes for them. When we went into the store, she was in a cage with her brothers and sisters. They were all sleeping and she was climbing the cage and screaming. Fred and I recall thinking that she looked like a Gremlin. But not as cute as one!

And although we thought she was odd looking, we just loved her and had to have her. Back then, you just forked over $20.00 and you could adopt from the Humane Society. Now, it's almost as hard as adopting human children.

So we took her home and our other cat, Minuette(Pearl), took her under her wing.

Pearl died about 8 years ago and Sophia had been on her own until TomCat came into the picture.

She wasn't a huge of him in the beginning. But then she grew to like him.

And John loved both of them.

********

Roman

04/06/98-03/16/12

After dealing with Sophia, I started to round up the kids to get ready for bed. Roman usually follows us. This time, he started to climb the stairs but slid back down. And then he wouldn't stand up again. This has been happening a lot lately. Fred and I had to carry him up to our room this time. After we put the kids to bed, I told Fred, "you know this is it, right"? He said that he knew. I felt bad for Fred and for Roman.

Roman came to us when he was about four months old from a local breeder. Four months was perfect because he was house trained/broken.

Fred, John and Roman - May of 2000

We knew that we had wanted a dog but argued over what to get. I was wanting a Rottie or a Boxer and Fred wanted a Golden. We had a deal that whatever situation we saw first that would work for us, we would go with that. So we saw an Ad for Roman and that was it.

My Mom, John and Roman

Roman was our first baby. He was born 2 years before John and I was a total Dog-Person back then. Roman came to us in August and then Fred left for one year to finish up a project in France. So then, it was just the dog and me for a year.

I love dogs if they behave and I had Roman perfectly trained. Then Fred returned home and thought that all of my rules were silly and then everything went to hell.

It got worse after John was born and I was stuck with kid duty and didn't have the 24 hours a day to vacuum up dog hair. Then I just got angry at the world and mostly took it out on Fred. Now that I think about it, that's around the same time that Fred starting calling me a bitch. But with Fred being a dog-person, I thought it was a compliment. Hmmm!

It doesn't matter. What does matter is that John picked up on Fred's cues and became a dog-person too. Or actually, a total lover of all animals. In fact, the remaining cat, dog and dragon lizard are all Johnny's.

But of course, I'm still the one cleaning up after them.

Before Roman had passed, Fred was already hinting at another dog. Like a fool, I'm sure I'll agree eventually. I love to see him, and the kids, happy. And the dogs do that for them.

Best Buds

Roman and John were like brothers. Until this weekend, Johnny didn't know life without Roman. And John reached to Roman for comfort through hard times. Of course, Roman was always there for him.

The Mobil-Vet couldn't get to our house for 11 days out. So although I didn't want to do it, I schedule to take Roman to our Vet. I had thought that we would go as a Family but Fred insisted that the little ones stay behind. Still, I told him to give John the option. So Fred and Johnny headed out on Friday afternoon.

The last photo of Roman

***********

Roman and Sophia

Lifelong Friends

Who are also missed by these two.

TomCat

Who now sleeps where Sophia died.

Maggie

Who seemed a little troubled this weekend too.

If you're sad already, I'm sorry to do this to you. But Fred wanted me to put together a slideshow for his Friend, Roman. He chose the song and most of the photos. If this video doesn't work, let me know. I'm having issues with YouTube mixing with Blogger.

I don't think I'll be replying to comments today.
Your Friend, m.

Ikea

2012-03-16T16:16:00.001-04:00

I know, no song title. Sorry!

Thanks for the input yesterday. I always love to know what you think. Plus, I'm happy that you like coming here. So whatever it takes! I'm a Pleaser.

As you have probably figured out by now, I'm going to talk about Ikea. I knew I couldn't fool you. You're so smart!

The twins needed new mattresses. And since they are only 7 and really don't require the top of the line mattresses, we knew we'd find one at Ikea. And I hate spending money on a mattress. It's like buying a furnace. You need one but it's not something you can show off. Well, unless you have lots of visitors to your bed. I'm not judging!

Usually, we pack up all the kids and go together. But because we knew we had to haul mattresses, I told, I mean..., I asked my Mom if she would watch them for about four hours. Of course she said yes, she always does. So Fred and I headed down to Baltimore. Seriously, it was such a quick trip. Gone are the days when we could walk leisurely through Ikea looking at things we didn't need and then ending up buying them too. Also, as it is, we can only put two of the kids in the Ball Room so John and Claire come with us and then we have to deal with them. Don't you just hate when you have to parent your own children? Honestly!

Doesn't Fred look like a real American?

So, an hour and 15 minutes down, grabbed a few light bulbs and we were off to search for mattresses. Although we knew exactly what we needed and headed straight for them. Before leaving, Fred had already checked on-line to make sure that they had what we needed and where they were in the store. He had everything printed out. When Fred is on a mission, he completely ignores me. For that matter, he ignores everything and everyone, including the kids, until the job is done. I'm only getting these photos of him because I'm not wrangling the boys down from these shelving units. For better or for worse, Claire is just like Fred. It is what it is.

But we found the mattresses in record time and then were able to go the the cafeteria and have a bite to eat before heading back home. Four hours away from the kids is a good little break. It's nice being able to have Fred in the car and he has no choice but to listen to me. I need that sometimes.

There was a time that I would have totally decorated my whole place with things from Ikea. But, you get older and items come in and out of your life. And now, I just pick up an item or two from there. But still I love to go. And each time I walk in, it feels like my very first time. Shopping! I meant Shopping! Geez, that was a close one! Don't worry, I didn't become a Man in Isle 37 Row 4, between cheap vases and picture frames.

Have a great weekend!
Your Friend, m.
p.s. This is Not a paid Ad for Ikea. Those bitches don't need any help from me.

"Goody two, Goody two, Goody, Goody two shoes"

2012-03-15T16:36:00.000-04:00

"You don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do"?

Last week, Claire and I went door to door collecting money for the cookies that we delivered weeks before. We stopped up to Sally(above) and Carol's house. They invited us in and were all excited to show us their new chicks that they had just received that day. You may remember Carol from last year. The kids call her The Chicken Lady. Carol takes it as a compliment. Anyway, after we saw the chicks, they took me on a tour of their home. Sally was showing me her sentimental pieces from her Family and then, to impress Claire, she pulled out her old Girl Scout Sash and hat. Don't you just love her! Sally joked that it was a million years old. I doubt that but I was still impressed that it was in such pristine shape.

I posted the photo of Sally on Carol's Facebook wall. She loved it!

Claire was still more intrigued with the chicks.

I know, you may have seen this one before but as mentioned yesterday, my Mom has been missing out on these photos of her grandchildren.

Question: Do you enjoy these simple posts or do you prefer my long winded ones that never end and leave you too exhausted to comment?

Your Friend, m.