I recently wrote an article for ProviderSearch.com and received this message from Christy Evanko:

I have the same issue at school. My son is high functioning and doesn’t “look different” but because of confidentiality, they can’t say what is different about him. So I wrote a book about it and read it to his class each year. Now, rather than the kids not knowing why he acts the way he does, they go out of their way to help him.

Wow – what a wonderful idea!

And, it turns out that she is creating these books for others now so I knew I had to find out more!

Christy Evanko interview.mp3

Listen here or right click to download.

Christy says, “I wrote this book because several things happened that led me to believe that my son’s classmates did not know that he has Autism, and did not understand why he did certain things. I figured since they didn’t know, they probably made up explanations for his behaviors. I wanted to inform his classmates about Autism and encourage them to be his friend rather than being afraid of him. I have read the book to his classes two years in a row and have seen improvements compared to his kindergarten year when I did not have the book.”

Christy Evanko is a parent of three children, one with Autism. She holds a graduate certificate in ABA (applied behavior analysis).

Want to get your own Good Friend Book?

Learn more at Good Friend Books or email Christy at christy@goodfriendbooks.com.

Please let us know your thoughts and any questions you may have. You can just leave a comment or if you want to keep it private, go to out Contact Page and fill out the form.

Enjoy!

Sandra

P.S Click here to find more Interviews.

P.P.S Are you interested in being interviewed or being a guest writer? Contact me here, please.

I’ve always claimed I didn’t care what others thought about me but the truth is, I did.

And now I don’t.

Especially my parenting.

I no longer care if other people judge my parenting. And I won’t judge theirs. It took me a looonnnngggg time to get to this place but I can tell you this – if you can let go of caring what others think, people who love and support you will show up in your life.

Matthew Age 6

My Son, Matthew has Autism and went through his “terrible twos” when he was six – with six-year-old size and six-year-old strength. Like many Mothers of Special Needs Children, I too have a story of the temper tantrum in public to share.

I’ll never forget it.

I can close my eyes and see it as though it was yesterday. We had just gone to the grocery store and I was going through the produce section. I don’t know what what set Matthew off, but all of a sudden he was having a complete meltdown. He had been sitting in the basket portion of the shopping cart and was now kicking and screaming as though someone was beating him up. I knew that the more I tried to calm him down the more upset he would get.

There were lot’s of other Moms with their kids shopping at the time; all staring at us and whispering. No really. All of them. Staring and whispering. At my son. At me. At us.

Well at least it felt that way. I mean, here was a child who appeared to be old enough to behave better. My then 7 ½-year-old Daughter was with us so clearly I wasn’t a rookie Mom and “should have known better” than to allow my child to behave in such a manner.

I knew that there was nothing I could do to help Matthew except keep him safe and keeping him safe was not having him try to throw himself out of a shopping cart.

I had to weigh several options

1. How to keep my daughter safe when she was sitting in the seat of the shopping cart.
2. Should I try to complete my shopping when Matthew was a whirling dervish in the basket section?
3. If I chose to leave, how could I safely navigate out of the store and to the car with him kicking and screaming?
4. Should I just try and find a quiet corner of the store where I could just let it play out?

I chose Option #4.

Amid all the stares from the other Moms and their Kids and all the whispers and all pointing fingers I simply went to the back of the store near where the bathrooms are removed Elisabeth from the cart so she could sit quietly in a chair and then simply let Matthew straighten himself out.

I was sad for my crying child and fearful, trying to protect my other child, mortified and embarrassed and a whole host of other emotions, including angry at the world, at Matthew and at anybody and everybody who I could think of to be angry with.

That afternoon as I watched my Angel sleeping during his nap, I decided that none of those other people mattered. I would not give them the power to embarrass me. I would not give them the power to hurt me. I would not give them the power to make me angry. I would not give them the power to rob me of my peace of mind.

But could I help my Daughter get to this place?

Elisabeth was no longer taking naps at this age so she was having a snack. I went into the kitchen and had a very frank, rather adult conversation with her. I tried to explain her brother to her. I don’t know if she understood. She clearly was not happy with the situation and having to deal with her brother who was, in her eyes, misbehaving didn’t sit well with her. I tried to explain it as best I could and over the years I think she’s really come to understand. I think over the years she’s learned a lot from him in that he doesn’t judge people and he doesn’t care if they judge him, at least on any level that we can see.

I know I’ve learned a lot from him in that regard and I no longer judge people or at least I try not to. And I truly no longer care if they judge me because I know that what they’re judging isn’t me it’s what they’re seeing and their picture is not a complete one.

So judge away world. Who cares?

Due to some scheduling snafu’s and a technical glitch, I don’t have an interview for you this week. I do however, want to share three interviews from the archives.

I’m listening to the audio version of Carly’s Voice, an absolutely stunning book about a young woman with Autism. Technology allowed her to share herself with us and I think we are only beginning to see the changes her words will bring.

Listening to this book reminds me of three interviews I have done that I want share again, in case you missed them.

One is with Tyler Burke of Provider Search Directory. Tyler’s service helps families connect with people and services and as Carly’ story demonstrates, finding the right fit is so incredibly important. Listen here.

The second interview is with Dr. Mueller of Stimulus Publications. Dr. Mueller and I talk about what ABA, Applied Behavior Analysis, is and how to work with your child’s IEP Team to help your child. I think ABA had a significant impact on Carly and allowed her the glimpse the possible. Listen here.

The third interview is with Garrett Butch of Maximum Potential Kids. Garrett and I talked about ABA from a parent’s point of view. Clearly ABA gave Carly’s parent’s hope and let them see the possibilities. Listen here.

Please let us know your thoughts and any questions you may have. You can just leave a comment or if you want to keep it private, go to out Contact Page and fill out the form.

Next week I will post an interview with an author who has a very unique way of helping other’s meet your child. Stay tuned!

Enjoy!

Sandra

P.S Click here to find more Interviews.

P.P.S Are you interested in being interviewed or being a guest writer? Contact me here, please.

Note: This came up in my work with An IEP for Me! and I thought I’d share it with you. As Special Needs Families we often face similar situations. Let me know what you think in the comments.

What you can do with Unsolicited Advice

I have a really big goal in my life. I have shared it with some people but recently I’ve been hearing a lot of, “I think you should…” responses.

Now here’s the thing…

No one knows me the way I know me.

• They don’t see the world through the same lens that do
• They don’t know what I’ve done to explore this goal
• They don’t know the research I’ve done
• They don’t know my likes and dislikes
• The don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this goal

They only know little pieces of a few pieces of the puzzle.

Now I’m not saying that their advice is unwarranted but it’s not the only option. What they hope I would accomplish by following this advice is clearly something I need to explore, but I have chosen not to explore it the way they are telling me they think I should for several reasons, none of which matter.

The ultimate response though, is that I want to accomplish something and I’m choosing a different path to get there. It’s not a right or wrong path rather it’s the right path for me.

So if I were to listen to them when they say, “I think you should…” I would just abandon my goal because what they’re suggesting is something that I feel is really not possible in my life right now and I feel it’s not something I want to do. But I understand what following their advice would accomplish. If I were to do what they’re suggesting I understand what I would learn but there are other ways to do it.

Truth or Consequences

Often when we hear someone say, “I think you should…” we allow ourselves to be led down a path that is not authentic. It doesn’t serve us personally. Or we say to ourselves, “I can’t do that” and we abandon the goal and our dream.

Maybe what our well-meaning family and friends suggest is a good idea for us or maybe there is a better way that suits our needs and wants in a more authentic way.

I believe that when someone says, “I think you should…”, we can hear what they have to say, think about how their advice may or may not serve us and then choose what we believe will work best for ourselves.

I think you should.

What do you think?

Lou Guiffre from LifeProtekt.com

LifeProtekt provides personal location safety technology and integrated solutions.

Want to know what the heck that means and how it can help your Special Needs Loved Ones? Then listen to this interview with Lou!

Lou Guiffre interview.mp3

Click to listen or right click to download.

Lou also recommends you read Six Critical Factors to determine which personal GPS fits best and he spills the beans about Vega, an exciting new product that will be launching soon.

(And no, I am not affiliated with LifeProtekt in any way – I just think they have some very helpful products for our Special Needs Community.)

Please let us know your thoughts and any questions you may have. You can just leave a comment or if you want to keep it private, go to out Contact Page and fill out the form.

Enjoy!

Sandra

P.S Click here to find more Interviews.

P.P.S Are you interested in being interviewed or being a guest writer? Contact me here, please.

Yesterday was the last day of Autism Awareness Month. 

Whew. What an emotional roller coaster.

I believe that Awareness is the first step to Acceptance but what we really strive for, what all Families with Special Needs Family Members strive for, is Inclusion.

So I was truly shocked and extremely saddened by some of the the things I read – at the lack of awareness of the uniqueness of each person and their needs, at the lack of acceptance of a different perspective or opinion. And at the lack of Inclusion within our own Special Needs Community.

This past month I learned that Awareness, Acceptance and Inclusion must start with us. With the Special Needs Community.

While we may be aware, we certainly don’t accept all and we don’t include all. There are many opinions and ideas, therapies and treatments, groups and organizations in the Autism Community and the larger Special Needs Community. And we don’t all agree with each other.

But we don’t have to.

What we do have to do is be civil and courteous.

Each person with Special Needs and each Family is different. Each has different needs, wants, dreams and goals. Just like everyone else. And each Special Needs Family has the right to choose what is best for them.

We must treat each other the way we ask the rest of the world to treat us – with dignity and respect. Otherwise, how can we possibly ask that of others?

Mother Teresa was once invited to attend an anti-war rally. She declined. Shocked, the organizers asked her why. She told them that when they have a Peace Rally to invite her, she’d be there.

Welcome to the Special Needs Peace Rally.

Here and on Our Special Families Village Facebook Page, you will find information on a variety of Special Needs related topics.

And they might not all agree with each other.

One post might have information on why you should vaccinate your child and another might share the case against it. I will present the information and you can decide what is right for you and your Family.

One interview might share ideas for helping your Child make the most of an Inclusion setting at school and another might explain the benefits of a Special Day Class setting. Again, I will present the information and you decide if it is right for you.

My goal is to find the best information available and share it with you. Not to find only the stuff you will agree with.

But what will not be tolerated here is the kind of negative, polarizing and hurtful judgement I witnessed from some in the Autism Community last month.

We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.

-Attributed to Mahatma Ghandi