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When I saw this group “Can this pickle get more fans than Twilight?” pop up in my suggestions on Facebook recently, how could I resist not joining? Our society has been saturated by this so-called “saga” named Twilight.

To view my OFFICIAL entry click here. I had a lot of fun making it and may make more featuring The Pickle in the remaining book series.

At the time of this blog posting, the group has reached the 500K marker. Over 500,000 Twilight-hatin’ folks have joined together to voice their extreme dislike for this book series written with the young adult reader in mind and, in my opinion, will never come close to Ann Rice’s “The Vampire Chronicles“.

]]> http://outlanderusa.com/2010/02/15/the-oh-so-popular-pickle/feed/ 4 http://outlanderusa.com/2010/02/15/the-oh-so-popular-pickle/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Outlanderusacom/~3/l2sSYwQEIyE/ http://outlanderusa.com/2010/02/10/5-generations/#comments Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:42:04 +0000 Rhonda http://outlanderusa.com/?p=247

Today my Grandmother died rather unexpectedly. She had been battling pneumonia and was released from the hospital only yesterday. We were told today that she [probably] wouldn’t have long, maybe 1 month.

All of us were to visit her tomorrow.

ODE TO THE COFFEE BEAN

My latte has a first name

it’s V-E-N-T-I,

My latte has a second name

it’s M-O-C-H-A.

Ohhh, I love to drink ‘em ever’day,

and if you ask me why

I’ll saaayyyy,

‘Cause my Starbucks franchise

has a way with

C-O-C-O-A, m’kay?

THE END

I feel guilty because I get so impatient with her at times. She can be *very* demanding and *very* picky. Luckily, I’ve mastered the art of not letting the impatient side show and I’m always thankful for not saying anything snarky back to her. She never did that to me when I was sick and she deserves the same treatment.

In many ways, we’re closer now than we’ve ever been. I’ve spent countless hours just sitting up with her in the middle of the night when she would be in so much pain and sometimes having someone there to vent to or stroll down memory lane with has done wonders for her attitude, if only temporary. Or to simply get her mind off of everything.

Her biggest and most immediate health concerns are: congestive heart failure and diabetes. She’s already had part of her foot removed due to infections and now they’re talking of doing an amputation of right below the knee. We’re hoping that her body can fight this infection on its own. But if her medical history is any indication, this will not happen and the amputation is inevitable.

To watch the strongest woman I’ve ever known struggle just to walk down the hallway or be too weak to even comb her hair is the most difficult thing I’ve been witness to. It’s interesting to see how the roles have gradually reversed and now I’m the one (and my Father) doing all the pampering in return. It’s the least I can do and no matter what happens, it’ll never be enough to repay her for always being there for me. Always. And for setting the right example of what a woman, wife and Mother should be.

We learn by example and I’ve had the best teacher on the planet.

Lately I’ve had the distinct pleasure of dealing with a few select “special friends.” By that I mean: Major harassment, very suggestive comments and/or messages (that’s why I approve all comments first!!), and my personal favorite – trying to force me into an arranged marriage. I have since reported these wonderful individuals. Go get ‘em Tom!!

At any rate, I was going through some old messages when I came across some that I thought I would share with you today. These are a couple of my responses to some very persistent ‘friends’.

Please use your imagination for the questions:

“…why thank you (?). Although I am flattered by your…umm…proposal, my answer will have to be:

** You can use one or both – they are completely interchangeable **

1.) No. Contact Cirque du Soleil. I hear they are available.

2.) I’m sorry, my HMO doesn’t cover that. Please contact Michael Moore to let your voice be heard about our nation’s medical system in crisis…”

I’m not kidding. I have personally used these responses and they have proven themselves to be quite effective. They work with males and females (that’s right!). They either become nice or delete me. That hurts… it really does.

**I hope this helps.**

*Names of cities and/or airlines have been changed to protect… well… no one. I just like these names better.*

Making airline reservations can be so boring and tedious with all the “hold please” and automated menus you must go through to get a real human on the phone; today was no exception. I loathe talking to airlines so I thought I would try a new approach for making a reservation. It went something like this…

Airline: Let’s see, I have you scheduled for *Katmandu to *Madagascar and back on the same day. That comes to a total of $387.50. How would you like to pay for this today, Miss?

I was absolutely stunned at the total. This was almost double what I paid last time I took this flight.

Sensing the airline employee was having a bad day with all the “sighing” she was experiencing, I said this:

Me: That much, huh? How flexible is the airline on the types of payments they accept?
Airline: Ma’am? Excuse me? sigh…
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept something other than Visa, Mastercard and/or American Express?
Airline: Such as? sigh…
Me: Such as chickens.
Airline: Come again?
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept chickens (live, fried, baked, sacrificed… whatever) as an alternative form of payment opposed to the usual credit cards you accept? Can I pay you in chickens instead?
Airline: We only accept the aforementioned forms as payment. Not… not chickens. sigh…
Me: What’s wrong with chickens? It worked for Doc Baker in Little House on the Prairie. Why not *Nixon Airlines?
Airline: Ma’am…
Me: Vegan, huh?
Airline: Hold please.

I was then transferred to the manager and he was very efficient in changing a few things around with my reservation and was able to lower my total to something more reasonable.

Some people cannot take a joke. Or is it just vegans?

I’m kidding!! I like bean sprouts as much as the next person, but only if it’s accompanied with steak and a glass of milk.

We’re sitting at home watching some tween show on Disney when out of the blue he makes the oddest statement to ever come out of his mouth. The conversation went something like this:

Son: “Hey Mom. Guess what I learned today in school?”
Me: “What’s that?”
Son: “My brain is a fruit.”

Long awkward pause

Me: [trying to contain my laughter] “Ummm, what makes you think that?
Son: “Some stupid girl in my class said she thinks my friend Hunter is a big fruitcake.”

Another long pause – waiting for the boy to continue

Me: “Is there more to this story ’cause….”
Son: “She’s always sayin’ how he’s got his head stuck up Johnny’s butt and that all boys are buttheads.”
Me: “And?”
Son: “Hunter is really smart.”
Me: “And?”
Son: [deadpan] “He likes cake.”
Me: “Hunter likes cake, does he?”
Son: [in an impatient voice] “No. Johnny does. Geez Mom, aren’t you following me here? It’s sooo obvious.”

I suddenly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone trying to figure out what went wrong with that conversation. I decided to leave it alone and simply walk away, hoping he’ll forget about this odd conversation he initiated.

I got as far as the next room when he suddenly blurted out, “Or maybe it’s a vegetable; like jello, y’know?”

Right when I’m beginning to seriously question the American school system, my son then says to me, “Mom, I programmed the DVR box for all your favorite shows coming on next week. I’ll be around if you need any help with that.”

He’s 8 years-old.