Overheard at Home

pension

Tue, 08 May 2012 13:48:46 -0700

May 8th, 2012. While driving back from school, my 9-year-old yells, amazed: “Mommy, that lady is cutting her grass with scissors!”. Indeed I see this elder lady cutting her edges with scissors. My 10-year-old dryly says: “She’s definitely on her pension”.

The lotus is strong in this one

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:51:24 -0800

Son: “Daddy, I learned some Yoda today, can I show you?”

Me: “Sure…do you mean yoga?”

Son: “Oh yeah, yoga.”

Only my child

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 01:28:59 -0800

Madison wanted me to take her to the store so she could get her some M&Ms. As we pulled in, this was our conversation.

Madison~ Mama you don’t have any make up on.

Me~ Well honey I just got out of the shower.

Madison~ Well now I know why people wear makeup…

Birthday Present

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 07:34:16 -0700

My Wife: What do you want for your birthday?

Jack (3):A car please but not like yours, i want a racing car?

A hug for a hug

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 18:12:07 -0700

Me to 6yr old son : “You have an unlimited number of hugs in you, don’t you?”
Him : “Yeah. That’s because every time I give you a hug, you give me one back, so I never run out.”

Matthew (7): “It’s strange how Boy and Man have the same number of letters in but girl...

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:36:34 -0700

Matthew (7): “It’s strange how Boy and Man have the same number of letters in but girl and woman don’t.”

I didn’t think of the word ‘lady’ until we had gotten out of the car much later.

Birds and the Bees. Doggy style.

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:35:40 -0700

(lying on the edge of my 4 yo’s bed at 6.45pm on a summer evening, trying to encourage him to go to sleep)

Charlie (4): How do you make a dog ?

Me (39): Well, a mummy dog and a daddy dog that love each other …. (Charlie interupts)

Charlie (moving his hands up towards the wall): I can’t make it look like a dog.

Me: *phew*

(I was doing dog shadow puppets with a torch, and again at the cinema the other week. He keeps trying to replicate me.)

Daddy?

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:35:24 -0700

One day myhusband called from work. After chatting about his annoying co-workers; he told me to hand the phone over to our son. I handed the phone to my 6 year old, and just watched. He and my husband talked for a little. Finally Regan put down the phone and walked up to me. “How was your chat?” I asked. “It was okay,” he answered. Then he added, “Anyway, who was that?”

Daddy?

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 11:35:08 -0700

Me: Do you want to go ice-skating tomorrow after your brother’s lesson we’ll go on the...

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:59:04 -0700

Me: Do you want to go ice-skating tomorrow after your brother’s lesson we’ll go on the public session, and you can hire a penguin to hold onto

(a penguin is a 3 foot high plastic model of a penguin with handles that allows toddlers to keep -mostly- upright on the ice)

Charlie (4): No, I wasn’t born to do ice-skating.

Blueprints

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 20:06:05 -0700

5-yr old: “Mom, don’t you wish there was a machine so you would never have to clean the house again and again?”

Mom: “Yes, I would love that! Why don’t you starting building one?”

5-yr old: “Mom! I can’t do that! I don’t even have any blueprints!”

Full-Grown Tree

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 16:00:05 -0700

My Mom and my younger brother Corby, age 6, were talking one morning as Corby got ready for school. My Mom held up Corby’s shoes and said, “Corby, come over here bud, let’s get your shoes on.” Corby frowned, and answered, “Mom! I’m not a bud, I’m a full-grown tree!”

Spelling

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:04:33 -0700

My four year old: “Look what I spelled!” <pause>… “What did I spell?”

Maybe a bit too much tween TV . . .

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:10:58 -0700

I showed my five-year-old a picture of her nineteen-year-old cousin Anthony on Facebook to show her his new, very short, haircut. She ran out to the patio to tell her mom:

“Mom, Cousin Anthony got a haircut. Dad showed me a picture of him with two hot girls!”

Tomboy

Tue, 31 May 2011 10:42:33 -0700

Wife, to my 8-year-old daughter: “You’re so much like I was when I was your age! I was a tomboy, too.”

Daughter: “What? Don’t call me a boy!”

Wife: “No—that’s not what it means; I just mean you’d rather do sports and weary sporty clothes than do ballet and wear pink dresses. Me, too.”

Daughter: “Oh, that… yeah, sometimes I hate being a girl. Except…”

Wife: “Except?”

Daughter: “Except I’m glad I don’t have all that boy-junk down there… that’s just weird.”

Secret Service Agent (on the new Doctor Who series): Are you alright ma’am ? 4 yo son:...

Tue, 03 May 2011 16:00:06 -0700

Secret Service Agent (on the new Doctor Who series): Are you alright ma’am ?

4 yo son: She’s not a man !!!

Like olden times

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:00:06 -0700

I put on an old, black and white, Popeye cartoon for my boys. My three year old looked at the colorless tv for a few seconds, and then turned and says “It’s broke!”

Spider Ambulance

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 11:08:55 -0700

As we were driving, my son exclaimed, “A Spider Ambulance!”

Quite curious, of course, we turned to look at what he was talking about. It was an exterminator van with a big spider painted on it.

The shopkeeper's dilemma

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 20:00:05 -0700

4yo: I don’t want to work in an office. I want to be a shopkeeper. Mummy, what does a shopkeeper do if they want to go to the toilet?

Mummy: There’s usually 2 shopkeepers so one goes while the other one waits, and then the other one goes.

4yo: I’m rubbish at waiting

Innocence at its best.....

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:00:05 -0700

A little boy, after being shouted at by his mom (sitting sadly)

Dad asked : “What happened son?”

Kid : ”Dad, I can’t handle your wife anymore! I want my own wife!”