Overheard in Minneapolis

The Same Thing You Told Her The Last Time This Didn’t Work

oim — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 23:30:47 +0000

Old Man on Cell Phone seated beside another old man at an otherwise empty table: We have three broads here and there’s only two of us. (Pause) Well what are we going to tell the third girl?

St. Louis Park, Knollwood Mall
Overheard by That’s one way to get him out of the house.

I’m Not Here To Be Educated

oim — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 23:22:31 +0000

Middle aged white guy: I’m disappointed. Al Franken was in comedy and the Republican booth was way more funny than Franken’s booth.

St Paul, State Fair
Overheard by Unintentional I am Sure.

His Mom Really Needs To Lighten Up

oim — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:36:33 +0000

Man biking to friend: I don’t see how they could get so mad, when you only gave them the finger.

Minneapolis, On the Midtown Greenway near the Midtown Market
Overheard by A. Johnson.

That’s Also How They Get Diamonds From Coal

oim — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 17:12:39 +0000

Target Employee Woman: I love almond milk. It’s so sweet and tasty.
Target Employee Man: How do they make almond milk?
Target Employee Woman: Not sure. They probably squeeze the almond, milk it or something.

Minneapolis, Target HQ
Overheard by Seriously? Who the hell milks an almond?

State Fair Crazy Roundup!

oim — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 17:08:02 +0000

Someone on the bus: It seems so un-Minnesotan to stand on the bus.

Late night UofM bus, State Fair
Overheard by This ain’t your school bus.
________________________________
Woman sitting in a wheelchair scooter: I’m going to go find a place to sit.

St. Paul, State Fair
Overheard by Joey.
________________________________
Pudgy State fair goer with 2 glasses of milk: When I get home I’m probably gonna throw up.

State Fair Grandstand
Overheard by I know the feeling.
________________________________
Thirty-Something Guy Selling Water: Buy some water, it’s only a dollar! Just like hot chocolate, only it’s water!

Saint Paul, State Fair Grounds
Overheard by We bought some water.

Not Something I Can Help With

oim — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:40:04 +0000

Early 20′s Male: I’d like to do something awesome. And classy. But I don’t know what that would be.

Minneapolis, Lyndale Avenue
Overheard by Curbin’ It.

Wish Him Luck!

oim — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:31:52 +0000

20 something girl to friends: Al Franken’s running for Senator from Minnesota?

State Fair
Overheard by you’re thinking of the snl guy.

It’s The Only Day It Comes Alive

oim — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 21:31:06 +0000

Coworker: You should have seen my butt on Friday.

Saint Paul, Ramsey County Courthouse
Overheard by I wish I had.

Too Much Time In Lino Lakes

oim — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 01:57:42 +0000

Coworker #1: My kids watch a lot of Tom and Jerry. I don’t like them watching that Dora the Explorer.
Coworker #2: Dora’s too violent for your tastes?
Coworker #1: No, too… Spanish.
Coworker #2: Oh.
Coworker #1: Yeah, when I have to read my kids those Dora books I read all the Spanish words in English.

Bloomington, one cube over

We’re Bored With Existing Stereotypes

oim — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 19:29:57 +0000

Dude: Chinese love their Buicks!

St. Louis Park, Cube farm
Overheard by Oh really?

Easier To Manage

oim — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 18:29:45 +0000

Little boy looking at the sleeping lions at the zoo: They’re always dead.

St. Paul, Como Zoo
Overheard by I must resurrect every morning, then.

You’re Not Supposed To Take All Of It

oim — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:42:09 +0000

Ditzy blonde texting on pink cell phone: Does bat have one “T” or 2?
Slightly less ditzy friend: Oh my god, you’re dumb!
Ditzy blonde texting on pink cell phone: Shut up, I took Benadryl today!
Slightly less ditzy friend: Benadryl doesn’t make you stupid!
Ditzy blonde texting on pink cell phone: They make crack out of it, so I’m pretty sure it does!

Minneapolis, Target Field, during extra innings
Overheard by easilydistractedatbaseballgames.

If You Close Your Eyes And Pretend Really Hard

oim — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 17:25:49 +0000

Townie, pointing to Gluek’s: Oh look, there’s an Irish pub.

Minneapolis, Gluek’s Restaurant + Bar
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Get The Wrinkle Free Kind

oim — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 17:23:45 +0000

Male Ubergeek #1, following a special showing of Dr Horribles’ Sing-a-Long Blog: I think I’m gonna need to get one of those “The Hammer is My Penis” shirts.
Male Ubergeek #2: Yeah… that sounds about right for you.

Minneapolis, Riverview Theater- Dr Horribles’ Sing-a-Long Blog showing
Overheard by I bet he gets the extra small.

Last Fall’s Trust Exercises Went Very Wrong

oim — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 21:48:33 +0000

Male employee: What is the dress code for the boat trip?
Male manager: It’s not my call, but my policy would be no shorts. Or no wife-beaters, no crotch-grabbers, no tube tops. Unless you’re hot. Which no one here is. And definitely no Sublime t-shirts with 4/16, the stoners’ holiday, printed in big letters. And no shirts that say Tool on them, none whatsoever. I will not have anyone here showing up to a corporate event high on marijuana and drugs with Tool shirts again.

Chanhassen, office
Overheard by RCG.

You’ll Have Better Odds With The Shirt

oim — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 23:27:45 +0000

Young woman, to bag boy opening her freshly purchased water using his shirt to cover the cap: That’s OK, you can just use your hands.
Bag boy: You don’t know where my hands have been.
Young woman: I don’t know where your shirt has been either.

Minneapolis, Uptown Lunds
Overheard by Funkytown?

Advice She Will Probably Give Her Child Someday

oim — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 14:46:55 +0000

7 month-pregnant woman, smoking a cigarette, to guy who is also smoking, after using his inhaler: You know, you shouldn’t smoke if you have asthma.

St. Peter, 7-Mile Creek
Overheard by D.R.B.

Not An Appropriate Time For Phone Calls

oim — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 22:35:46 +0000

Co-worker #1: When you 69 someone, it just dials the number right back.
Co-worker #2: It’s star 6 – 9. Also, I don’t think you know what you just said.

Nordeast Minneapolis, Interactive Design Agency
Overheard by Quick, Call Qwest.

I Know What Mr. T Would Say About Her

oim — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:45:06 +0000

20 something guy, reading movie section of the paper: Mr. T. Do you know Mr. T?
20 something girl: No.
20 something guy: He’s this awesome guy who was on this show in the 80′s. It was called the A-Team. I think they made a movie of it.
20 something girl: Oh.
20 something guy: But he’s not in the movie, so let’s not go see it.

Bloomington, Penn Ave Caribou
Overheard by just here to use the net.

Is It Still Kicking If She Takes It Off First?

oim — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:06:03 +0000

Woman in mid-twenties to male friend: I’m going to take my wooden leg, and I’m going to kick you with it.

Mall of America, third floor (outside of Nordstrom)
Overheard by ak.