Overheard in Minneapolis

I Know What Mr. T Would Say About Her

oim — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:45:06 +0000

20 something guy, reading movie section of the paper: Mr. T. Do you know Mr. T?
20 something girl: No.
20 something guy: He’s this awesome guy who was on this show in the 80′s. It was called the A-Team. I think they made a movie of it.
20 something girl: Oh.
20 something guy: But he’s not in the movie, so let’s not go see it.

Bloomington, Penn Ave Caribou
Overheard by just here to use the net.

Is It Still Kicking If She Takes It Off First?

oim — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:06:03 +0000

Woman in mid-twenties to male friend: I’m going to take my wooden leg, and I’m going to kick you with it.

Mall of America, third floor (outside of Nordstrom)
Overheard by ak.

Someone Mixed Up My Order

oim — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:09:59 +0000

Drunk short muscley guy: I’m a man with a small penis and a tall wife.

Minneapolis, First Ave
Overheard by Good to know.

Almost As Good As A Batcave

oim — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 23:23:44 +0000

20-something girl: To the underpants!

Roseville, T1 Target
Overheard by Ram.

She’ll Never See It Coming

oim — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 00:02:29 +0000

20-something woman talking loudly on cell phone: Her water broke yesterday, so now she’s walkin’ around with a hole in her uterus. And her baby jus’ gonna fall out!!

Minneapolis, bus stop
Overheard by Those darn babies.

Not If You Keep Breaking My Concentration

oim — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:01:46 +0000

Little boy to mother in stall: Mom, what’s taking so long? Are ya poopin?
Mom: I’m still in here. I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: But are ya poopin?
Mom: I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: Yeah, but are ya poopin?

Minneapolis, Women’s restroom at Orchestra Hall
Overheard by someone just trying to wash their hands.

Now You Have To Bring Enough To Share With The Whole Office

oim — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:03:30 +0000

Man in cubicle on cellphone, whispering: So, how much for that thing we talked about? (pause) I mean how much for a Q? (pause) You know, Q.O…a quad? (pause) No! Q, a quarter. (frustrated and very loudly) HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR A QUARTER OUNCE OF WEED, GOD DAMMIT?!

Minneapolis, RBC Dain
Overheard by gordy, standing behind you.

Not Nearly Enough

oim — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:00:17 +0000

4-year-old boy sitting in cart putting on sunglasses: Mom, do these make me look bad ass?
Startled mother looking at pens: We don’t talk about that. Wait, where did you get that from??
Boy: Batman. Do these look bad ass?

Coon Rapids, Pen asile at Officemax
Overheard by Officemax Employee.

How About “Douche?”

oim — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 03:02:31 +0000

Restaurant worker taking picture: Say “Sushi!”
Customer: I’m not Japanese.

Ruby Tuesday’s at MOA
Overheard by Giggleing customers in adjacent booth.

Put A Muzzle On It First

oim — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 02:22:53 +0000

4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
Dad: What?
Boy: Come here!
Dad: NO!

Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
Overheard by Hmmm.

No Hablo Ingles

oim — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 22:00:15 +0000

Frazzled White Haired Older Woman to 20 something Best Buy Employee: If I said the word “Wi-Fi” to you, would you know what that means?

Edina, Best Buy
Overheard by These people really exist!

I Like To Remind Myself Of The Vitamins In Ice Cream

oim — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:56:36 +0000

Noisy neighbor talking to vendor passing out cookies: I’m going to take a peanut butter cookie because it has peanut better in it. Peanut butter is good for you because it has protein in it, so I should really take 2 cookies to get more protein.

Minneapolis, TCF Tower
Overheard by I want a chocolate cookie.

Just Taking A Break

oim — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 22:22:15 +0000

Woman #1: I have been feeling so nauseated lately, but I don’t know why.
Woman #2: Maybe you’re pregnant.
Woman #1: That would be impossible. Unless it was immaculate conception and I’m not all that immaculate.

Woodbury, at lunch

Available In Bulls! Order Now! Supplies Are Limited!

oim — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 21:43:36 +0000

20-something male to his 20-something male friend: WOW!! He’s huge! I didn’t know these came in bulls! I thought they were just the milkers.

Apple Valley, At the Minnesota Zoo Farm while looking at the Holstein Bull
Overheard by hdj_76.

That’s Just What I’ve Heard

oim — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 21:34:21 +0000

Coworker on cellphone, speaking quietly: I know that freaks some women out. But I’m a man, so I wouldn’t know.

Minneapolis, cube farm
Overheard by Your neighbor.

Intermediate Pet Dressing

oim — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:43:10 +0000

Little girl in dressing room: And today we are going to learn about how to put underwear on a Chinchilla!

Dressing room in Mall of America
Overheard by Dressing room attendant.

As A Matter Of Fact…

oim — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:39:45 +0000

Girl holding long piece of paper: Will you hold this for me, Mommy?
Mom, with armful of books: Look how much I am carrying, and what you have. Do you think it’s fair to ask me? Are you the Queen of Sheba?

Eden Prairie, library parking lot
Overheard by a patron.

That’s What He Kept Calling It

oim — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:31:46 +0000

Hipster girl #1: So did he try to makeout with you?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, he was all up in my… in my stuff.

Minneapolis, Victors 1959 Cafe
Overheard by I hope he stays out of my stuff.

He Goes To Public School

oim — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:18:56 +0000

Mother: Wait, how would you know what Magic Hat is?
Son: Why wouldn’t I?
Mother: It’s beer! You’re TWELVE.

MSP Airport
Overheard by Atta boy.

And It’s Not Easy

oim — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:16:07 +0000

20-something guy: I’m losing my beer belly and getting back my whiskey belly.

Rochester, 4th of July house party
Overheard by The wife.