Overheard in Minneapolis

Are You Sure?

oim — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:31:42 +0000

Woman to her very young children: We’re not fucking ghetto! I don’t have to yell at you to do everything!

Minneapolis, on the bus
Overheard by Well, you’re halfway there.

Yeah, We Don’t Have Any Catholics Around Here

oim — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:29:41 +0000

Man sitting behind me: The only bad thing about St. Thomas is it’s a Catholic college.

The 16 bus
Overheard by will you be my new best friend?

Hope That Bench Is Comfortable

oim — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:09:41 +0000

Guy sitting on bench to girls walking past: I don’t even get a hello? C’mon girl, we could have beautiful babies like Obama!

Minneapolis, Loring Park
Overheard by elle f.

It’s Too Late For Her Now

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:48:20 +0000

Groom in tux, grabbing blue Tampax box and throwing it in the air, to bride: Show it off, baby. Woo!

Minneapolis, Walgreens on Hennepin, Uptown

She Gets Credit For Knowing What Year It Is

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:45:23 +0000

Bus driver: This route will be on detour because of the parade.
Woman: Is that because of the Michael Jackson Parade?

17 Bus
Overheard by Yes, Yes it is.

It’s The Most Fun Way

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:43:48 +0000

8 year old boy to his father: Now this is how to pollute the earth the right way!

Roseville, Central Park, 4th of July fireworks
Overheard by a concerned citizen.

He’s Just Disappointed With His Current Allowance

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:41:39 +0000

7-year-old: I want a disability! I want a disability!

University of Minnesota bus
Overheard by NikkiW.

And We Know What You Mean

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:39:15 +0000

20 something blonde girl: I love the beach, but I hate sand. It’s like, I like being dirty, but I hate being dirty.

Minneapolis, Hidden Beach, Cedar Lake
Overheard by elle f.

Giving Feels Good

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:37:59 +0000

Mom to Target Employee: You got any of them Hannah Montana dolls?
Target Employee: Yeah, they’re right over here.
Mom: Woo! I got to get my daughter one of them for her birthday. If I don’t, she gonna cut me!

St. Paul, Midway Target
Overheard by I need to start shopping at Wal-Mart.

You Don’t Need To Impress If You’re Paying For It

oim — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:36:07 +0000

Loud girl at the back of the bus: He came to my door with a PENIS PUMP and started pumpin’ it! I was like, oh hell no, you got FIVE minutes to pump that shit and if you ain’t ready by then, you can just FORGET IT. You shoulda done that BEFORE you got here! So, he went out to his car and did it! He had already paid me.

#19 Bus, Northbound
Overheard by Appalled Bus Rider.

That’s A Bet I Won’t Take Again!

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:29:40 +0000

Guy to his girlfriend on an apparently romantic walk: And then I found myself soaked through-and-through with my own urine.

St. Paul, Mac/Groveland neighborhood

I’m Looking For A Good Statistician

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:45:54 +0000

Woman: Lutherans in Minneapolis are like Jews in Manhattan.

St Paul, Finnish Bistro
Overheard by lmb.

If You Can’t Be Loud At Taste, You Can’t Be Loud Anywhere

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:39:31 +0000

Black Gal #1: Whooooooo!
Black Gal #2: Heeeeeyyyy!
Black Gal #3: Black people! Settle down! I should have brought my white friends, y’all are too loud!

St. Paul, Taste Of Minnesota
Overheard by Kris.

Getting Through The 5 Stages Of Grief

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:36:13 +0000

Intoxicated Dude: I swear to God, this is my last beer. I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

Minneapolis, Green Mill
Overheard by An Invisible fiend.

Let’s Decide What Stays And What Goes

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:34:19 +0000

Woman talking to herself in bathroom stall: Okay, now let’s see what we’ve got in here.

Minneapolis, Investor’s 10th floor
Overheard by EJ.

Well Done Feet?

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:36:52 +0000

20-year-old girl: I made some last night. They taste a bit like feet, but they’re decent.

Minneapolis, Gold Medal Park
Overheard by I’m busy whenever your next dinner party is.

Hope Your Insurance Is Up To Date

oim — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 01:35:02 +0000

20 something: It was like leaving Rocky and you just wanted to beat someone up. Except it’s like I really want to do the splits and shit.

St Paul, Leaving the Kooza Bigtop opening night
Overheard by Can’t do the splits.

She’s Spent Too Much Under Water

oim — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 21:29:39 +0000

New gym member, dropped kid off to tour facility: We would love our son to be able to see the place but if he sees the P-O-O-L we’ll never get him out!
Employee: (spells out loud to herself) P-O-O-L. What is that?

Hopkins, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Bunch.

Dad’s A Lucky Guy

oim — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 21:25:22 +0000

Mom to employee: Are we on the first floor or the second?
Employee: First floor.
Mom to daughter: Call dad and tell him we’re on the second floor. It’ll confuse him enough to give us 20 more minutes to shop.

Mall of America
Overheard by Back-to-school shopping in June.

Wrap Your Head Around That One!

oim — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:26:33 +0000

Coworker: They sent an invitation on the computer. It was an e-invitation. On e-mail.

Bloomington, Nasty work bathroom
Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.