mouth of the gorge, already pretty sweet, just wait06-Aug-2009 06:35, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 4.5, 5.0mm, 0.002 sec, ISO 80

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I flew to Turkey with only the secondhand understanding that the country would be awesome. Half Korean back-up plans: WWOOF & hanging out on the Mediterranean coast while figuring out that whole what-the-fuck-to-do-with-my-life thing. Met this great person named Sami in Istanbul and fell pretty hard for him. He invited me to join him crossing the Asian continent overland and it’s been a sweet love story ever since.

Well, that’s how I ended up in muthafuckin’ Uzbekistan and nothing says “I love you” more than having someone overhear your explosive diarrhea due to another lethal dose of bloody shashlyk. My bootleg ass is chilling in a former Soviet Republic and not the Italian Riviera; you’ll have to abandon the imagery of a traditional romantic getaway and start plugging into the reality of second world countries. More on that jazz later, let’s start where my busted ass left off.

First things first; Azerbaijan. As the traveler grapevine revealed, the best place to load up on all the visas into Central Asia was the capital of Baku and I can only describe my time in that gaudy city as something like a sick reality TV show. Imagine a shitty week of desperately searching for obscurely located embassies, filling out forms in different languages, running to the bank to pay the fees (in American dollars, bitches), passport pictures, and loads of other bureaucratic agonies. Throw in some scorching hot temperatures with the joy of dropping tons of extra $$$ for the privilege of being an American passport holder and I must say it wasn’t my favorite week.

Otherwise, Azerbaijan was an awkward country to visit and the only thing that I can really put my finger on about it all was the presence of oil money mixed with a history of Soviet occupation. Baku is much like Dubai / Singapore, a spectacle of wealthy pageantry; garishly fancy buildings and eerily spotless streets. Just some pretty shallow facades with zero amounts of soul? With prices are comparable to Western Europe and the occasional Aston Martin to remind me of my $20 per day budget, sometimes you gotta just say fuck this place and move on.

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Rice.. main staple for 1.3 billion people in India31-May-2009 14:25, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 3.5, 5.0mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 80

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1. Finland used to be ruled by Sweden, then Russia, before gaining independence. Fun fact – they also supported Nazi Germany during WWII….whoops!
2. The city has a huge bunny problem. With thousands of these cute creatures overrunning the city, local politicians and newspapers mention the problem as often as possible.

Helsinki Bunny. We thought we were lucky to snap a pic until we saw 100's more19-May-2009 19:06, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 5.1, 18.2mm, 0.01 sec, ISO 800

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Huh?19-May-2009 18:38, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 4.5, 5.0mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 800

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Who doesn't enjoy a cold beer break during a sauna? I sure do!20-May-2009 21:50, Canon Canon EOS 400D DIGITAL, 5.6, 300.0mm, 0.008 sec, ISO 1600

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snails are tasty little buggers15-May-2009 15:15, OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP. u1030SW,S1030SW , 3.5, 5.0mm, 0.013 sec, ISO 80

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They don't call them the mirror lakes for nothing01-May-2010 07:00, Canon Canon PowerShot S90, 4.0, 6.0mm, 0.003 sec, ISO 160

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New Zealand, South Island

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I have this bad habit to keep going, going, going until I’m gone. Although I’ve been giving myself kudos for getting as far as I have in Morocco without jackshit, I’m starting to think it was just a generous streak of beginner’s luck instead of legitimate survival skills. With the exhilaration of a new country and a powerful currency, I put the pedal to the metal and didn’t stop until it was almost too late. Lo and behold, I came within an inch of a nervous breakdown after four weeks on full travel throttle. That might seem like some chump change for most, yet please bear in mind that I’ve been in the vagabond grind for over a year now. Not stopping for a pause leads to a supernova level of destruction…

There is glory in covering landscapes, seeing once-in-a-lifetime sites, deciphering cultural customs, eating street cuisine, learning new languages, figuring out transportation, and wondering where I’m going to sleep. But, it can lead to absolutely zero down time. If you throw in some ice cold showers, shitty ass food, being alone, and getting your patience wore down by persistent Moroccan touts – my spirits were in the dumps and it all deteriorated into full-blown Angelica versus Morocco mode. It seemed like only a one-way ticket to the United States of America could save me from stabbing the next motherfucker in the eye who said “konichiwa” to me on the street. And, trust me, that’s one bad place to be.

Maybe I deserve a little credit – even my most seasoned comrades of travel have told me that Morocco is a stressful fucking place and being a woman alone compounds the hassle. Word on the traveler grapevine is that only India and Egypt’s sexual harassment in the public sphere get any worse than my current scenario. Moroccans are generally nice people, especially the women, but the amount of attention I get as a foreigner is overwhelming. Although there are moments of breathtaking redemption from locals, nowhere in my life have I been hounded like this. Trust me, it’s winter in this country and my ass is covered from head to toe. One can’t help but develop a distaste for this place from the day to day experiences and this leg of travel is getting under my skin.

This is not just a case of vendors / curious folks / beggars, it’s a full blown gnarly rash of disgusting young men that pollute Morocco’s public sphere. In some places, the volume is less and walking around with another male traveler helps. Some examples? I counted six (6) men today, trying to to convince me to come to their house and following me for an average of 15 minutes a piece while I tried to buy some groceries in the market. No does not mean no, ignoring them does nothing, and aggression only leads to serious drama. Otherwise, stepping off a bus in a station is like being mobbed by the paparazzi for rides, taxis, hotels, and cafes. Nevertheless, my sense of diplomacy is dwindling with the infinite amount of touts, fake guides, horny assholes, and other shitheads that target Western women. I should say that it doesn’t feel dangerous, just four weeks of this bullshit has exacerbated my exhaustion enough to want to crawl back to home to the safety of California.

They say that a grand don’t come for free and tourism is a goldmine. As for the hassle factor and warped ideas about non-Muslims, I’m not really blaming Morocco. Taking a glance at the loads of package tourists getting off Ryan Air and Easy Jet flights says it all. If walking too slow and gaudy cameras around their necks were the only transgressions, I’d jump for joy. However, attempt to imagine a middle aged British woman’s enormous stomach hanging six inches out of her undersized shirt while cussing out a waiter for not speaking better English. Backpackers with bloodshot eyes reeking of hash and furious that they are prohibited from entering the mosque. Puke. Witnessing interactions between Moroccans and tourists has gotten to the point where I feel like I’m watching an episode of trashy reality TV series, wishing I didn’t speak the language to understand the scenario.

The moral of the story? Not sure. This rant is over and I guess it’s been another cliché of finding my place in it all. I’ve come to find that sitting on a barren Moroccan roof top while chainsmoking and drinking tea brings me a lot of peace. Oh yeah, I called home to get some love from my Grama & Mom and my clothes don’t smell like a decomposing animal carcass anymore. Got my shoes shined, read a book, cut my hair, and couldn’t be bothered with the world 20 feet from my roof top. Am I new woman? By no means. However, taking a few days to myself has kept the dreaded traveler’s burnout away. Now off to meet up with my friend Vanda to work at a cafe and tree nursery in Marrakech. Not exactly a vacation from a vacation, yet I’m staying put for a few weeks with a sweet friend and then recalculating the next few steps.

Phase two? Getting the fuck out. Turkey or bust!

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Curious kitty...24-Apr-2008 04:25, Canon Canon PowerShot SD870 IS, 5.6, 14.694mm, 0.006 sec, ISO 80

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A curious feline checking out the street action in Marrakech, Morocco.

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THE BASICS

• A good backpack – Your backpack and you will become one by the end of your travels. You’ll both be dirty and a little stinky. Invest in a good one that is comfortable and SMALL. Trust me, if you go bigger, you’ll just fill it up with more crap. We loved our Gregory packs – TD had a Z55 and I had a Jade 50.
  
• Steripen – This little guy got used daily to purify all our water. Basically, it’s a UV light that you stick into a water bottle to eliminate the bugs. I even used it on sketchy Delhi tap water and remained diarrea-free. Win!
• Camera – To capture all those beautiful memories.
• Leatherman/Swiss Army knife – So many uses, I can’t even name them all.
• Headlamp – You won’t be caught off guard when the power goes off for 12 hours (I’m looking at you Nepal)
• Rechargeable batteries – Better for the environment and sometimes you can only find cheapy ones that only last for 15 minutes.
• Universal adapter – For charging all your electronic goods.
• Silk sleep sack – Only when traveling in Asia. They’ve got some insane bedbug issues there, yo.
• Rain fly cover – Keep the contents of your backpack dry!
• Quick dry towel – Never pack it away wet or you’re in for a serious case of stank bag.
• DIY first aid kit – Pack some bandages, antiseptic ointment, gauze and some pain relieving pills in a bag. Done.
• Inflatable neck rest – The only reason why I was able to sleep on long plane, train and bus rides.
• Earplugs/eyemask – A good night’s rest is important!

CLOTHES

Don’t get too crazy with clothes, especially the ladies. New, stylish wear can be purchased in any country and oftentimes for cheaper prices. If you travel long enough, you’ll get sick of your clothes (or they’ll disintegrate) and you’ll purchase some stuff. The only things I would probably buy at home would be…

• Convertible hiking pants – They’re pants, they’re shorts, they’re capris. Super versatile and quick dry. 
• Hiking shoes – The quality is better back home than abroad.
• Quick dry, wicking T-shirt and tank top – Just one of each.
• Rain jacket – We used microlight jackets that could be easily stashed away. They doubled as windbreakers or as a layer for when it got chilly.

ELECTRONICS

• Laptop/netbook/tablet – We blogged during our trip, so having a laptop was key. We also used it to watch movies when we were too tired to venture outside. It’s definitely not necessary because there are internet cafes on every corner. Alternatively, you could opt for a…
• Smartphone – You can download Skype and call using a wi-fi connection. Check your email and facebook. Make sure you have an unlocked phone so that you can buy cheap SIM cards abroad to make calls.

Or you could say, fuck it, and not have anything. There is a beautiful freedom in not staying connected.

TOILETRIES

Everything can be purchased abroad. You can’t even take more than a few ounces of liquids on to a plane anyway. I even bought my contact lenses in Thailand, without a prescription, and it was cheaper than in the States.

HEALTH

We went to the clinic, got all our shots and purchased all the suggested medicines. Ended up not using our malaria pills (Malarone) and only a hardcore antibiotic (Cipro) once. Use your best judgement depending on which countries you are visiting. Medicine can easily be purchased at any pharmacy.

CAMPING GEAR

Only necessary if you will be doing lots of outdoor activities or hiking. We bought gear for Patagonia and it also helped us save a ton of money on hostels in Argentina and Chile. If we didn’t rent a van, we would have used it in New Zealand. Other than that, our camping gear was annoying extra weight.

Overall, the most important things to remember are…

•  You can buy nearly everything you need on the road
  
• What you pack should be adjusted depending on your activities and climate
• Ditch, donate or ship things that you don’t need
• Less is more

Happy trails!

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Original article – Hatchet wielding hitchhiker defeats racist Jesus

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