PALiiiTS in Blogosphere

Kung Ako Lang Yung Nanalo

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Thu, 23 May 2013 04:31:00 +0000

Tapos na eleksyon. Malapit na naman ang pasukan. Pasukan ng mga bata sa skwela. Pasukan ng pera sa bulsa ng mga bagong halal. Pero huwag tayong magpopokus jan, nakaka-stress. Dun tayo sa temang eskwela.

Marami sa mga kamoteng Pinoy ngayong June ang maluha-luha na namang maiinggit sa mga batang papasok sa eskwela. Oo nga't ipinagmamalaki ng ating gobyernong "matuwid" na sangkaterbang scholarships ang nakalaan para sa mga kabataang matatalino ngunit kapos sa pang-aral. Ay anak ng puto-kutsintang-binudburan-ng-bulbul-ni-Mang-Kanor naman yan! It's so unfair! Pano naman yung mga hindi matalino? Nganga na lang ganon? Kung ako yung nahalal nung hi-tek na eleksyon, papag-aralin ko ang lahat ng babaeng magagandang mahirap. Wala nang exam-exam, magdala lang ng whole body picture, pwede na! At wag kayong malisyoso't malisyosa, nagmamagandang loob po lamang. Nakakaawa naman kasi, ang ganda nga, pag tinanong mo naman ng 10 x 5 / 5 = ____. Nganga.

Kaya karamihan sa mga ito, napupunta na lang sa mga club at nasasadlak sa prostitusyon at napupunta lang sa mga Hapong "chin-chin-tabiru" naman kahit maraming pera. Kahapon nga, may nakausap ako, tanong ko sa kanya, "Pano mo sya naging pamangkin?", at sinagot nya ko ng maayos.

"Kasi noon, mag-pinsan lang kami. Pero ngayon, Tita nya na'ko".

O diba ang linaw? Kung makakapag-aral lang sana yun e malamang, mas malinaw pa dun yung eksplinasyon niya. May isang magandang prosti din dun sa Malate, matapos makainom ng tubig baha nung minsang bumagyo, pag-uwi ng bahay, uminom ng mainit na tubig para daw mamatay ang germs. Di ba kawawa? Kaya kung ako ang nasa posisyon, paaaralin ko sila, para fair!

Okay, scholarship para sa lahat na lang. Kasali na din mga mahihirap na di magaganda. Parang luging lugi kasi eh.

Gamitan Poly-Tics

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 23:40:00 +0000

Sa panahon ng ngayon, gamitan na ang patok sa pulitika. Gamitan ng apelyido.

Photo credits to FB.com/SenyoraOfficial

So sa darating na eleksyon, bahala na kayo kung kaninong anak, pamangkin, apo, o inaanak kayo boboto. Or, let's all not vote na lang kaya? Syempre joke yun :)

Yuck (A Random Poem)

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 03:15:00 +0000

when i die,

my atoms will come undone;

i'll be space dust, once again.

the wind will carry me;

scatter me everywhere;

like dandelions in springtime.

i'll visit worlds and alien moons;

it will be so damn poetic-

until i land in your sandwich.

10 Reasons To Be Thankful Today

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 04:36:00 +0000

Sa kabila ng mga catastrophic events na nangyayari sa mundo ngayon that creates death, we tend to think about the life we lead. Napapaisip tayo, Oh my sabaw! (ako lang pala yun). In most cases, nagpapasalamat tayo that we're still alive tapos narerealize natin na yung ibang bagay na akala natin ay sobrang bigat na, eh di pala tutumbas sa pinapasan ng iba. And that some shit you worry about isn't as big a deal as it was the day before.

Ang mahirap lang dito eh kung gano ka kadali napaisip nung mga ganung bagay eh ganun din kadali ang pagbalik mo sa pagiging normal. And what I mean with normal is your constant bitching and complaining that you normally do, ay we pala. Di na tayo nagpapasalamat na buhay tayo but instead, we wait for something awful or disastrous to happen to put things into perspective. Ang sarap manampal ng DM's.

Well anyhow na bangus na may kamatis at sibuyas, here are then ten very simple things to be thankful right now

1. you are reading this blog post, so ibig sabihin, buhay ka pa, sinuswerte nga naman

2. 100% someone out there is in a worse shape than you are..in more ways than one i guarantee you that

3. pusang gala, online ka! That means, nakapagbayad ka ng internet at phone bill nyo, ijot.

4. may tibilisyon ka. Hindi lahat ng tao sa munod mapalad na nanalo ng TV sa pa-raffle ng Central Warehouse Club

5. you have a relative or friend out there that you can talk to. Narealize mo ba kung ilang tao ang nasa san mang panig ng mundo na walang relatives o friends na pwedeng kausapin?

6. may bubong kang nasisilungan.

7. you are free - di lahat ng countries eh may freedom ng tulad ng sa'tin.

8. you slept on a bed last night - think how many people didn't?\

9. you get to have sex - well, some of you. Pero don't you think its awesome?

10. pwede kayong mag isip pa ng another 10 reasons.

Yun lang. Di ko alam kung anong nakain ko at naisipan kong i-type yang mga yan. Pero bahala na si Batman magpaliwanag. Salamat.

A Secret Affair

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 14:09:00 +0000

Helow helo hilo? Kumusta imaginary friends? Long time no see, but now see now. Ayos lang ba? Sarrreh naman kung ngayon lang ulit nagparamdam. Busy sa eschudent life eh. Alam nyo na, mabait akong eschudent eh. Okay, lessgow sago sa topic.

Napansin ko lang, karamihan sa mga palabas ngayon sa tibilisyon at pelikula, eh dalawang babae na ang nag aagawan sa iisang lalake. Anyare manang? Kaya naisipan ko mag tanong kay Google at pagkatapos ng 0.01784 seconds ay nabigyan nya ko ng 110,789 resulta o kasagutan. Lintek na Google talaga yan oh. Anyhow na bangus, napag alaman kong ang ratio na pala ngayon ng babae sa lalake eh nasa 7:1 na. Daw. Ibig sabihon, may pitong babae sa bawat isang lalake. Oh my sabaw!

Kung iisipin mo nga naman nang mabuti, ramdam na ang kakulangan ng lalake nung magsimula na ang telenovela ni Coco Martin. Mantakin mung, sa dami ng artista, ginawa pa talaga syang dalawa, at may kanya kanyang chikas pa, tsk. Ba't nga ba ito yung tema ko? Eh kasi, nakapanood ako ng movie ni Kuya Derek, yumbang A Secret Affair? Aba tsong, pinag aagawan ng dalawang hot chickens si Koya! Haaaaneep! Sana wag mangyari sakin yon!

Nung unang panahon, panahon pa ng Hapon, ang dalagang Pilipina, lagi lang nakakulong sa bahay yan, nagsusuklay ng pagkahaba habang buhok at dumudungaw dungaw lang sa malaking bintana (dati wala pang grills ang mga bintana at super laki talaga, yun nga siguro ang purpose ng bintana non eh, para may madungawan ang dalagang Pilipina). Kahit na di sya bumabalandra sa kalsada, aba wag ka, kung mahaba ang pila sa LRT, mas mahaba ang pila ng manliligaw nyan.

Sa kasalukuyang panahon naman, ang dalagang Pilipina, kung kumendeng sa kalsada eh kulang pa ang 4-lanes. Pero kahit na anong hampas pa nyan ng bewang papunta sa magkabilang sulok ng Milky Way, pag uwi nyan, single pa rin yan. Bakit? Tatanong ka pa eh, kasi nga, 7:1 na ang ratio ng babae sa lalake.

Kaya konting payo lang sa kababaihan natin jan, wag na kayong choosy. Wag na yung, "Eeek, ayoko jan, ang itim itim, parang pwet ng kaldero!", or "Yaaak, ang laki ng ilong, ayoko jan, masinghot pa ko nyan e!". Tandaan nyo mga chickens, marami kayong kakumpetisyon, 7:1 na nga e. Bahala ka, pag ikaw di mo pa pinatulan yang last na manliligaw mo, baka umabot ka sa 70, single ka parin at looking.

Wag mo kakalimutan Miss, 7:1. Yung konti, dapat pinapahalagahan. Tulad ng diamonds. Kaming mga lalake

ngayon, parang dyamante yan, mga babae, parang bigas na lang (pero joke lang naman).

Pero huwag kang mag alala babes kung single ka pa rin til now. Malay mo, bukas o sa makalawa, or maybe next year, single ka pa rin? Walang pinagbago. Walang adjustments. Pero seryoso, mahirap maging single sa Pasko.

Namamasko po!

Book Report?

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:54:00 +0000

For another couple of nights. Er, maybe weeks, this blog will stink. Well, depends if you're going to drop by and clean this boring niche of mine, LOL. I think I'm gonna be busy. Now there goes the question: Busy doing what?

Woooooooooo. We're asked by our English professor to make some sort of book review (yata, not sure pa) about a Paulo Coelho novel. Anybody familiar with The Alchemist? Yeah that's the one. Hey, if you could give me a report on that, just click on the tab on above (Contact Me), hehe. Just kidding. Even if its just 0.05% from a hundred that our professor will trip on this boring blog, still, its 0.005%, right? :)

Anyway, too much of the blah blah yakitty yak yak. If you're curious about the novel, I'm inserting here a PDF ebook of it. Feel free to download. No, ot asking for payments or anything, but still, you'll be awesome if you send me some Paypal credits. Woooooooooot. Kidding.

Good night imaginary friends. Keep smiling.

And always keep in mind, no matter how beautiful mornings or nights are, still, you're more beautiful that those :)

DOWNLOAD HERE

Be Careful of What You Wish For (Lalo na pag may kasunod kang hihiling)

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:42:00 +0000

One day, a bus full of not-so-good looking people was stuck on a ditch in a very liblib na place. Then suddenly, a beautiful diwata appeared and made sabi to them that they could make a wish and she will make those wish come true. The first woman on the front seat said,

"I wish to be super gorgeous and beautiful!"

And her wish was granted.

Then the rest followed and wished the same thing. The bus was now loaded with super ganda ang super gwapong mga gago.

When the beautiful diwata reached the last person at the back of the bus, she found him ULOL (Ultimately Laughing Out Loud, bad kayo ha).

"What are you laughing at?", asked the fairy.

"Nothing. Can I wish now?", asked the man.

"Okay go on."

"My wish is make them all ugly again." And the wish was granted.

I hope you got your share of lesson :p

May maipost lang, haha. Good day!

Signs Ba Kamo?

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 13:45:00 +0000

Pasensya na kung ngayon lang ulit nakapag post? Miss mo ko? LOL

Sa mga umaasa sa signs, nakow, siguraduhin nyo lang na confident kayo :)

See ya later alligater! In a while crocodile :p

Birthday Guy

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 03:43:00 +0000

Yesterday, 4th of July. While everyone in the United States are flying colorful fireworks, blowing their lungs out on paper and plastic trumpets, straining their arms in waiving the American flag, stretching their necks to see the parades, and crying their hearts out in celebration, I was alone in my room celebrating my birthday with four cups of coffee and a pack of cigarettes.

Celebrated my birthday with a pack of cigarettes, a couple cups of coffee, and a couple of movies :)

Yea yea, some of you my dear imaginary friends would think how lonely my birthday had been. Maybe some dipshit who wanders here for the first time would think that I'm some kind of an introvert, but you're wrong. Actually I'm a psychopath, a frightening one, on weekends, LOL.

What's a birthday by the way? I tried to ask Uncle Google for the answer and he pointed me too Aunt Wiki. She gave me long long long explanation about birthdays. A birthday is a day or anniversary celebrated to commemorate one's date of birth, well, its pretty obvious though. It is celebrated by numerous cultures often with a gift, party or right of passage. There's also this superstitious origin of birthdays that says it started somewhere in Europe. It was said that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays, and to protect them, friends and relatives would visit to bring good thoughts and wishes. Sounds creepy right? Good thing nobody visited me last night, maybe the evil spirits forgot to mark my day on the calendar.

I wrote this post for no particular reason at all. No wait, that would be illogical, cause the book said that nothing happens without a cause. So I'm gonna say I wrote this because I'm bored. In a positive point of view, I shared something interesting right? Tell me no, and I'll ask the evil spirits to visit you on your birthday :p

Although I was alone on that date, I'm still thankful because of the things that I have upon reaching this age. I have my kids, I'm back on the track of finishing my degree, and I have my beautiful wife, Meot, who ignored the clock just to celebrate my birthday through Skype on hours were people are still snoring their butt off. You see, celebrating your birthday doesn't require parties, booze, cakes and gifts. Nobody could be there for you physically, but if you look deeper, you have a party in your heart, you got gifts that no amount of money could buy, and somewhere somehow, there are people who loves you, and wish good things for you.

Happy birthday to me n_n

PALiiiTS in School Again

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 15:13:00 +0000

ID (evidence)

Hey hey hey! It's been so long. Since I haven't seen yow face! That wasn't a joke. I know most of you "wandering sweet potatoes" who carelessly wander in this blog are not going to email me your pictures if ever I asked you to. Sorry if I haven't updated this boring niche of mine for like, forever? LOL

The main reason for my looooong time absence is school. Yea yea yea. Some of you may ask questions like

WTF? You're still in school?!

Well, fortunately, education doesn't include age as a requirement, particularly in college. Double fortunately, my school accepted me although this year would be my proudest 10th year in college. Triple fortunately, schools don't have legs, so you can always find them right at the same spot even if you stopped for yearrrrrs. Just what I lovingly answer to my aunts about 6 years ago,

It's okay. Don't panic. Schools will never walk away.

That's how you go to school! LOL

Come this Monday, I'm going to take my very first Terminal Prelim Exams since, sorry I forgot how to count years. Sorry too that I can't tell you every details of my first to present days in school, but I promise after the exams, I'll update this blog regularly. Just want to brag about my ID. Haaaaa haaaaa haaaaa.

Laters alligaters! n_n

11 Questions About Myself

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Mon, 21 May 2012 04:09:00 +0000

Hello imaginary friends! Couple of weeks ago, I was tagged by seriousnuts to answer 11 questions about myself. So here it goes;

1. How long have you been blogging?
I started writing online since my college freshman years. I had my first page on tripod, then to Friendster and later tried Blogger.

Are you a procrastinator or do you take care of things right away?
Yea, I procrastinate. I don't know but I always have this idea of "art of keeping up with yesterday" haaa haaaa.

3. If you have siblings, are you close?
Yes we're close. I'm the eldest of us three and the only dude, that's why I'm kinda over-protective over them. Though I can't ask them on some matters, they always find ways to share them to me.

4. What's the best thing about your job? the worst?
The best thing about it is that I don't have to face annoying "real" people and the worst is it alters my body clock. LOL

5. If you had $1000 to spend, what would you buy?
Think I'll spend it on a vacation with my loved ones.

6. How long has it been since you visited your hometown?
Almost 2 years, and I'm not too happy about it.

7. Have you ever decorated for Easter/Spring? please share pictures.
Nope.

8. Do you sleep with a fan on?
Hell no.

9. The beach or the mountains?
The beach. I don't know how to swim by the way.

10. If you had to choose only one, which would you pick: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or blogging?
I'll go for Facebook until my wifee returns from overseas, then would go to blogging. Haaa haaa.

11. When shopping, do you use coupons or shop around for the best deals?
I shop around for the best deals although I rarely go shopping n_n

There you go. There's nothing about those facts but I swear I did my best to answer the questions as honestly as possible, LOL. Happy Monday!

Three Best Mothers

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:48:00 +0000

This time, my post will be quite serious, and as much as possible, I'm gonna refrain from using foul words like I used to. Eh? If you're still wondering why, I bet you didn't have the time reading the title *winks. See, I'm even nicer to you.

Since we're celebrating Mothers' Day, I think its timely for me to write and share to you how blessed I am to have an awesome line of mothers. Yes, I have mothers, with an "s", pluuuuuural! And sorry, but I wont share them to any of you. Joke. Belonging to a broken family has been a lot easier for me because of my mothers. Because of them, the absence of the so-called "haligi" (foundation) of a home, a father, hasn't really been an issue at all. Well, I must admit that there were times that I envy my friends when they bring their fathers to school activities, but thinking that I have a lot of Mama's, I'm contented. To honor them, I'll be posting three short poems. I know I'm not very good at this, but nah, I'll take the shot.

To You Mama
Thank you for the life you gave to me
For the chance to hear, smell, taste, hear and see
All the things this world could offer
I hope you know, to me these really matter

Thank you for the sacrifices you made
For all the guidance and wisdom you gave
I know Mama that life is hard
But rest assured you'll always be in my heart.

To You Mama Lita
I know I've been not so good to you
I have always put you into blue
But still you welcome me in your arms
Every time I'm cold and desperate for warmth

I'm sorry for causing you so much pain
Been reckless and selfish for my own gain
But now I promise you I am changed
Thank you for love, a bond like chain

To You Mama Nene
Until now I treasure the times we spent together
Year have passed I still shed a tear
For the time we had has never been enough to me
I wish you're here now like we used to be

I know I made a promise to you
Don't worry Ma, I'm still struggling to
For the love you gave to me is priceless
In return I'll fulfill my promise and do my best

These three people are the best mothers that I ever had, the best "ilaw ng tahanan" (light of a home) the world have given me. I have been a really bad kid when I was younger, but these people did not give up on me, all the time they gave me chances to change, to redeem myself. They gave me love when I had none for myself. Forever I'll be thankful to them. Happy Mothers' Day :)

Visual Music Carnival 2012

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Thu, 03 May 2012 06:18:00 +0000

Hell-ow cool-o-go? Miss me my imaginary friends? I miss you too.

Oh yes, you read it right, a Visual Music Carnival. This is an awesome celebration of visual arts, extreme sports, and rock n' roll music, for a cause. This celebration will happen on May 12, 2012 from 12 noon to 12 midnight at the Amoranto Stadium at Quezon City.

This event aims to provide Video Relay Service to Pasay School for the Deaf, Quezon City Hall PWD Division, Quirino High School, Lagro High School and DFA Office PWD Division. Video Relay Service or VRS is a video-telecommunication service that allows deaf, hard-hearing and speech impaired individuals to communicate over video telephones with hearing people in real-time, via a sign language interpreter.

The Carnival will feature battle of the bands, cosplay competition, exhibits, fashion shows, carnival games, and of course, FREE rides. You'll also find trampolines, skateboard playground bungee jumping sites, and photo/food/fun booths that will surely complete your Carnival experience.

If you're too curious about the bands that'll play, here's the list I got from their Facebook events page:

WILABALIW, VALLEY OF CHROME, SAYDIE, IMAGO, RADIO ACTIVE SAGO PROJECT, TYPECAST, PHILIA, THE CHONGKEYS, MAYONNAISE, MR BONES AND THE BONEYARDS CIRCUS, JURASSIC PARDS, REKLAMO, 4TH DRAZKIK, BUSHFIRE, PARAMITA, TYRANNY OF SOLIDITY, OREMUZ, PROLOGO, CANDY CANDY, SIGAW, ODAT, PSYCHO DESTROYER, REPUBLIKA DE LATA, VOICE OF TRANQUILITY and SUBKULTURE.

Tickets are available at SM Tickets for Php 150.00. This includes free rides, giveaways, game tokens, and free skate play! Let's reach out to our deaf and mute brothers and sisters. See you at the Carnival!

Happy Earth Day; Seriously?

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 03:50:00 +0000

Is the Earth really happy? Do we deserve to live here?

If we take a survey asking all the people around the world if they deserve this blue-green-white-brown-gray planet called Earth, I'm sure an overwhelmingly large number of these are going to say, "Yes, of course!". Well, what other response could we expect? The opinion of the majority is expected as this is the mind's response. Even though at the back of the mind of everybody, the knowledge that we haven't treated Earth with respect is there, that the "I, me, mine, my" mentality is fully intact and preserved. If you open up your mind a little wider and take an unflinchingly honest look at mankind and its history, what will you find? Will you still say "Yes, of course!"?

During the Earth's cruise for the last few thousand years, masters and prophets have come and go to teach us "truths" and the ideal way on how to live. People have even worshiped some and made god out of the few "chosen" ones. But what happened? People degenerated. People prayed to them for consolation of the mind, but still lived the same way, which made me think that we have just merely played a mind game. Conservatives, religious, all the same tried to shove it into our mouths, but there isn't any consistency paralleled to what they've done.

Granted, we have made a lot of advancement in technology and industrialization, but did we made those for the benefit of the gentle mass of soil slash water slash gases that gave us something to live on? No. We have always been 'What's in it for me?".

Oh yes, we have been protesting on politicians and gigantic corporations with their greed for the present condition of the Earth, but what we failed to realize is we're all accessories for the world's biggest crime ever committed. You're gonna ask me how? Oh come on. What have we done? We agreed to partake on those politicians and corporations by accepting their ways, by reaping profit out of them, by being a part of them, and even by just doing nothing and being neutral about it. Sadly, everyone is responsible regardless of the political and social divisions we live in.

If we look at it in a very different perspective, let's say, nature's, mankind is some "kind" of disease for Earth. A cancer. An organism that lives in disharmony with its own kind. An organism whose lifestyle is not completely aligned with nature. An organism guilty beyond reasonable doubt of abusing the bounties given by nature for its own egotistical and financial gains. An organism that has allowed money to be the ruling factor.

Now, if we redesign the survey and let all of which has life and no life, i.e. trees, animals, minerals, plants, nature itself, to partake and answer, I'm sure we will definitely be voted out.

So, you ready to greet someone or the world a happy Earth day? Greetings don't make differences. Let's act now before we're booted out of here. I found a comic, thanks to The Idealist, that looks funny and simple, but shows a deep meaning of what we are in the eyes of our so-called heavenly bodies.

12 Places Described By a Single Picture

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 04:55:00 +0000

There are places around the world that can only be summarized by the words "Only in" just because of the things that go on there. So I'm sharing you a few. Hopefully, this'll have a sequel, LOL.

Only in Amsterdam. Hookers are displayed in glass casings.

Only in China.

Only in Africa.

Only in Alaska.

Only in Brazil.

Only in India.

Only in Germany.

Only in America.

Only in Thailand.

Only in Texas.

Only in Japan.

Only in the Philippines.

Painting A Room The Metal Head Way

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 05:17:00 +0000

I'm not an interior designer, to begin with, to give you tips on redecorating your room or whatever you want to do with it. Hell, I didn't even study architecture. But every so often, between the boring and busy days of our lives, something comes along that makes us stop, look, and say, "Hey, that's freaking awesome!". So, with that pretty scratched one-liner of amazement, I felt that it alright to share this dumb discovery. Alright, I've caught wind of a ridiculously amazing video posted by three metal heads. Ostensibly, they had to paint or redecorate a "pink" (hey, pink is a masculine color, b&^%$!), so logically, the first thing that hit their heads is to use their hair instead of paint brush. These three dudes dipped their heads onto a paint bucket, turn on some metal, and started headbanging. Check out the video for the marvelous result.

I know I know, questions are running through your minds like, "What could possibly posses someone to dip his hair in a bucket of paint?!", or maybe, "How the hell would they clean that up?". Those are reasonable questions though, I've thought about that, but at the moment, I really don't have the slightest idea, so I leave it to you to answer your own questions. Besides, that's the beauty of the video, completely and amazingly dumbfounding. Well, in a good way of course.

So what do you think about what these guys call as "the most strange and inefficient way to paint a room"?

My Top 5 Must-Watch Movies This May

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 16:11:00 +0000

Come what may.

Hey, few days from now, Miss April'd be a goner and Miss May'll shake her flowery arse to the people! Anyway, the first line prompted me to write this post, plus the greatness I feel now that I have finished the house plan that held me out from my blog and my ever dearest imaginary readers. Well now, I'm sure some of the movies here are familiar to you, heck, here it goes.

1. The Avengers. Yeah yeah, they're gonna have the assembly this May. Our childhood superheroes are back, kick some ass!
For the first time, Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Captain America (Chris Evans), Hawkeye (Jeremy Rener), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth). We'll see here how the hell these "super" people have been assembled by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). Distributed by Walt Disney and directed by Joss Whedon, The Avengers will crash the theaters in May 4, 2012.

Spoiler: A villain will have his appearance before the end of the movie, so expect a sequel.

2. The Dictator. You haven't heard about this, huh? This is the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so dearly oppressed. The main character/dictator is played by Sacha Baron Cohen. Oh yes yes! Expect a lot of laughs on this movie. Anybody remembered Borat? Hell yeah! It is said that this movie is inspired by the novel Zabibah and the King by Saddam Hussein. If you wanna burn tummy fats through laughing, watch out for this in theaters on May 16.

Spoiler: Wanna see Megan Fox making love with Sacha? LOOOOOOOL.

3. Battleship. Another alien-invasion movie, and a li'l bit Transformer-ish. An alien race known as the Regents have arrived on Earth to build a power source in the ocean when they come in contact with a navy fleet. Few months ago, I didn't pay any attention on this movie's news and trailers, but when I watched the official movie clip, well, it sparked an interest in me, so it went to my Top 5. The film is starred by Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, and Rihanna. Let's see how she handle long guns, lol. Watch out for this in movie theaters on May 18.

4. What to Expect When You're Expecting. The story will follow the relationships of four interconnected couples as they experience the thrills, terrors, surprises, aches, and pains of preparing to embark on life's biggest journey, parenthood. Actually, I've read the book version, a novel written by Heidi Murkoff (well yehesss, I read books too, and I watch movies like this, heeeheee), but I guess this would be more interesting. Starring Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, Brooklyn Decker, Anna Kendrick, Rodrigo Santoro, Dennis Quaid, I'm sure this comedic/romantic drama movie will trace some smiles, burst some laughs and leave an impression on how great it is to be a parent (sorry for the drama, I miss my kids). Check this in theaters on May 18.

5. Men In Black III. Finally, after 10 years, the MIB duo of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back in action. In this movie, Agent J time-travels back in 1969, where he will work with the younger Agent K (Josh Brolin) in stopping a villain from destroying the world in the future. These men are my favorites, and 15 years have passed, I couldn't help but notice and wonder; why does Will aged so much while Tommy looks still the same as the first MIB was released way back in 1997? *wondering*. The movie will hit the theaters on May 25, so don't fret if you bump into aliens on that date.

There goes my Top 5 folks. How bout you, what are your most anticipated movies this May?

More Pun In The Philippines

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 21:15:00 +0000

photo credits to KMJS

Pinoys are generally creative especially in naming everything, genius. No business establishment is deemed too sacred to be spared from creative name-calling, from water purifying stations to bottled water, salons, restaurants, even the smallest business roaming around the Philippines streets. Look around you.

A nickname is the hardest stone that the devil can throw at a man. - William Hazlitt.

Brilliantly said, and one way to explain why in new world countries, John remains John and Mary will ever be called Mary. But here in the Philippines, though, a nicknamed child is a loved child. And heaven help the child who’s been given a particularly “inspired” nickname.

Pinoy parents seem to have a field day when it comes to naming their offsprings. Children have been named after pies (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie), vehicles (Chevy, Mercedes, Porsche, Volks), beverages (Brandy, Whisky, Cali, Champagne, Punch), and science (Atom, Quark, Nova,Nuclear Bomb). Repeated names sound particularly endearing, and so we have Au-Au, Ai Ai, Bokbok, Bekbek, Janjan, Jenjen and Junjun. And let’s all answer to the doorbell names Bingbing, Bongbong, Bingbong, and Tingting.

And then there’s the "H" factor. Tess can’t just be Tess. She’s gotta be Thess, a friend of Mhae, who is also a cousin of Dhong.

In a typical Pinoy merchandising, being original seems to be, well, the most original, claim. As in the “original sukang pinakurat” (extra-spicy vinegar) of Iligan City. Thumbing their noses at Webster, vinegar tycoons unabashedly tout their products as original. There is Elvie’s Original Buko Pie right alongside Mitzi’s Original Specialties which competes against Areane’s Original Sweets.

Being original however best defines the Filipino’s gift for making up puns from established names while commenting on the Pinoy’s various grooves at the same time. So there’s the karaoke bar Sinto Nado for all the Frank Sinatra wannabes singing to make their way. Or would you rather roar your heart out at the Blue Marilyn, a sing-along ihaw-ihaw joint in Sucat? Movie titles? Guess what: there’s Hair Force One, Con Hair or Dolphy's Tataynic. Or would you lash someone with your tongue with salty swear words such as Cooking ng Ina Mo, a food place just a couple of hip-sways away from Cooking ng Ina Mo Rin?

Showbiz is also a ripe fruit for this kind of trend. There’s the dress shop called Elizabeth Tailoring, the hair salon Felix d’Cut, the water purifying station Harry Water, a moneychanger shop called Starbucks and a street food cart Facebool. With apologies to Yves St. Laurent, would you weep if you found out that your YSL jacket was actually Yari Sa Laguna?

Even when the scythe of death is licking through their necks, Pinoys still find reason to laugh. Would you like to book a seat for the Last Trip Funeral Parlor? Or claim your second chance to live at Funeraria Mabuhay? Or, if you can’t take it with you, would you rather leave your earthly stuff to your family and make do with the Factory Price Funeral?

From the time we get our nicknames to that last ride to the cemetery, we are forever coining labels for all that surround us. It makes the trip so much better. I guess this is another reason why it's more fun in the Philippines. Or better yet, "It's more 'pun' in the Philippines."

12 Funny Quiz Results

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 07:20:00 +0000

When we were in grade school, we're obliged to wake up before 7 am and go to school so we'll be prepared for the adult life ahead of us. Can you still remember all the naughty things you did? (well, if you were one). As I was randomly surfing the net, I came into this photos of quiz results, and I can't help but laugh. Yeah, I know it's kinda low blow to the teachers, but hell, I'm sure these made them chuckle.

Ah, I remember those days. Although I often question my mom then why do I have to listen to some old lady or a bespectacled walking stick, I'm thankful I did. Because if it weren't for our teachers undying patience, I think I won't be able to write this, heee heeee.

images from uncoached

Good News, Bad News

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:49:00 +0000

Are you tired of all the daily bad news splattered across every newspapers' front page?

Well, me too.

Husband Shot by Wife, Dead!

Girl, Raped and Killed.

Vice Mayor, Ambushed and Killed.

Stud, Robbed and Killed!

And believe it or not,

Guy Who Doesn't Know the Meaning of 'Nobody', Killed by 4

Seriously?!

This kind of things make me wonder sometimes. Are newspapers, are the media, made for bad news? I remember a media personnel saying that they are the people's inspiration. But how could that be? Why can't we see a headline that says,

Son of an OFW, Graduated with Honors.

These days, the Filipino people needs inspiration. Something that will lift up their spirits from the pressure brought upon by the rising number of economic issues. Yes they would say, I mean, the 'government' people would say that our economy is stable, but is that the economy of the majority? I guess not.

Somehow, before going to bed, I hope that tomorrow, as I pick up another newspaper, I'll see a headline that will say something good.

Magnum Ice-sus Cream

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 16:42:00 +0000

"Sus! Ano nangyare sa kanila?" (Jesus! What happened to them?) This is my usual expression everytime I log in to my Facebook account. The news feeds that I've been recieving lately have always something to do about this Magnum Ice Cream. Pictures of people posing with their "royal" ice cream, status messages announcing that they've eaten dozens of Magnum, come on, what's wrong with these people?

photo not mine

It's not funny anymore. Well yeah, they have their birth right shit to post pictures on their Facebook, but acting like they just won the lottery because they've eaten this nothing but just-another-ice-cream is downright stupid. Even telling their friends that they've been left out if they haven't took a bite or a single fuckin' lick of it. Let me ask you, what's with this Magnum?
As far as I could see, it's nothing but just another frozen milk with cream coated by a goddamn chocolate! Hay Pinoy. Then if a Chinese would say "Oh wow, the Pinoys are going crazy over an ice cream that they forgot to wash their faces", I wouldn't be surprised.

My point here is, why do we have to be so ecstatic about this? Buying or eating this ice cream doesn't help us in improving our lives. Bragging about it through the internet won't do any good to our kababayans (fellowmen). Use the power given to you by the social network in doing more important things, things that could be of help. Because there's nothing really special about it; it can't feed the hungry, it can't provide the needy. Yes, everybody deserves a little pleasure, but don't overrate it. It's disgusting.

PS. The entry posted above is just a personal rant. If you don't like it, if you feel offended or anything, leave a comment. Criticisms, suggestions, reactions, as long as its not violent, are welcome. Thanks. Smile for the camera!

21 Reasons Why I Love The Philippines

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 05:29:00 +0000

When Michael Goodman uploaded a video about the things he hate about the Philippines, I admired his honesty. Sadly, instead of taking it constructively and considering it as a wake up call, most Pinoys took it the other way around. As usual, they made a big fuss about it, even called to "black list" the honest guy. What the fuck?! The guy was just pointing out the obvious things that most of us overlook and considered as "ah okay lang". What if that was a Filipino dude who made a video like that? Would that be viral too? Will he be black listed too? Ah shit.

Well anyway highway, if he had 20 reasons, I guess I'll make 21 more. I love the Philippines, and you know why? Because Philippines is where;

Doctors, teachers, even engineers here in the Philippines are studying nursing courses so they can be nurses abroad.
Athletes with good looks even if they haven't won a championship are worshiped and praised rather than those who brought glory to our country countless times. (Remembering the Phil. Dragon Boat Team compared to the controversial nympho Azkals)
All kinds of animals are edible. Bats are "fished" from the skies in Leyte, cats are stuffed into "siopaos", dogs are served in plates as "aso-cena", the only inedible part of a chicken are its beak and claws, beetles are sauteed to serve as "pulutan", well the list could go on.
The government can be considered as a religious institution because it could make its people pray for miracles.
Most Pinoys panicked when "pan-de-sal" went up by one peso, but when an ordinary Php50.00 ice cream was released, people went hysterical just to buy one. (Remembering Magnum, an ice cream made of 90% status symbol and 10% ice cream)
Call center agents have higher salary than the teachers, nurses, engineers. I guess that's the main reason why the number of up-to-second-year-college-only-students is rising; most call centers accept applicants as long as they passed their two years in college.
Indians who lend money to the people are called "bombay" because of their smell which is described as oniony, and they are well respected by Pinoys.
Clean and drinkable water is sold. Hey, and its Php30.00 per gallon here in Manila!
Rush hour is when nothing rushes or moves in EDSA.
Every street can be converted into a basketball court.
Students pay more for schooling than what they'll earn after they graduate.
Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gasoline but most Pinoys who have cars and complain about the rising prices of gas still prefer to drive to a Starbucks to have some coffee.
Even those people living in slums can have their own iPhone or iPad (God made man, and everything else is made in China), and wear Gucci, Guess, Levis, and other branded apparels (ukay-ukay).
Traffic has a different meaning. If the usual traffic is the movement of vehicles or the movement of audiences and visitors of a certain website, traffic in the Philippines is when vehicles don't move along the highway.
Actions stars and boxing champ are elected to position though they don't have any idea, background, or appropriate education on politics.
A president is elected because of the magic of his dead parents and not because he accomplished anything before running for president.
Everyone and EVERYTHING is spoofed.
The police force has a BIG shortage on guns despite the BIG budget for national security
Your fellowmen laugh at you if you wear the colors of your country. Try to go to school wearing a red, blue, white and yellow attire, let's see if you'll last a day.
Everybody wants to leave the country. Well, if that could be granted, at least it'll make a more spacious Philippines.
You'll see thousands of beautiful islands with beautiful natural formations, and the hospitality of the Pinoys are incomparable to the rest of the world.

Well, there it is. How about you? What do you love about the Philippines? :)

Rare Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 16:08:00 +0000

In the era we are living now, I could say technology have already taken over the world. High-tech gadgets, appliances, are now part of our daily living. One of the greatest gift of technology to us is the computer, but do you know the people behind its development? Here are you'll find what I consider as historic pictures of the people we owe our PC's, laptops, iPhones, email accounts, etc. You can also find the simplicity of how a complex company came into life.

Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in March 1, 1976 wanted to start a computer company and they needed a name to register it as incorporation. According to Wozniak, both he and Steve were driving along the Highway 85 between Palo Alto and Los Altos. Steve Jobs came up with a name “Apple Computers” during that trip.

Steve Jobs was involved with a group of his friends in running a community type of farm in Oregon. He was doing this part time, while working in the Bay Area of San Francisco. Wozniak thinks he might have got this name idea either from the farm or because of his music tastes, Apple Records, which was quiet, popular with Beatles.

The photo was taken December 7, 1978 in Albuquerque, New Mexico before the company moved its offices to Washington. The people in the photo are (from left to right, starting at the top) Steve Wood, Bob Wallace, Jim Lane, Bob O' Rear, Bob Greenberg, Marc McDonald, Gordon Letwin, Bill Gates, Andrea Lewis, Marla Wood, and Paul Allen. Would you have invested your money to this scruffy looking hippies if you were a businessman during their days? Bill Gates is on set.

Tim Berners-Lee's mother and father were both mathematicians who were part of the team that programmed Manchester University's Mark I, the world's first commercial, stored program computer, sold by Feranti Ltd. One day when he was in high school Berners-Lee found his dad writing a speech on computers for Basil de Ferranti. Father and son talked about how the human brain has a unique advantage over computers, since it can connect concepts that aren't already associated. For example, if you are walking and see a nice tree, you might think about how cool the park is under the trees, and then think of your backyard, and then decide to plant a tree for shade behind your house. Young Berners-Lee was left with a powerful impression of the potential for computers to be able to link any two pieces of previously unrelated information.

Two founders, David Filo and Jerry Yang, Ph.D. candidates in Electrical Engineering at Stanford University, started their guide, “Jerry and David’s Guide to the World Wide Web” in a campus trailer in February 1994 as a way to keep track of their personal interests on the Internet. They were spending so much time listing their favourite links that eventually their lists became too long and they broke them into categories and when that became too full, they developed sub-categories hence the birth of Yahoo! concept. With the help of dictionary, “Jerry and David’s Guide to the World Wide Web” was changed to Yahoo! – an acronym for “Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle”

However, Filo and Yang insist they selected the name because they liked the general definition of a yahoo – “rude, unsophisticated, uncouth.” Yahoo! itself first resided on Yang’s student workstation, “Akebono,” while the software was lodged on Filo’s computer, “Konishiki” – both named after legendary sumo wrestlers.

Linus Torvalds of Linux Operating System Linus Torvalds originally used the Minix OS on his system which he replaced by his OS. Hence the working name was Linux (Linus' Minix). He thought the name to be too egotistical and planned to name it Freax (free + freak + x). His friend Ari Lemmk encouraged Linus to upload it to a network so it could be easily downloaded. Ari gave Linus a directory called linux on his FTP server, as he did not like the name Freax. Linus like that directory name and he kept the name of his new OS to LINUX.

Andreas Bechtolsheim , Bill Joy, Scott Mc Nealy and Vinod Khosla of SUN(StanfordUniversity Network) MicroSystems. Founded by four StanfordUniversity buddies. Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer; Vinod Khosla recruited him; Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it; and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer. SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network.

Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel. Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce'. But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain. So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL.

Google began in January 1996 as a research project by Larry Page and Sergey Brin when they were both PhD students at Stanford University in California. Both wanted a better search engine system that analysed the relationships between websites. The technology used in determining website’s relevance was called “PageRank”. Page and Brin originally nicknamed their new search engine “BackRub”, because the system checked backlinks to estimate the importance of a site.

They original name was “Googol” which in fact is a very huge number – 10100, that is, the digit 1 followed by one hundred zeros. Googol was actually invented in 1938 by 9-year-old Milton Sirotta (1929-1981), nephew of American mathematician Edward Kasner. After founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor, they received a cheque made out to 'Google'!

Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX. Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'. B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie). He later called it C.

Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP. Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage. Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett. And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.

The New Chic in Town: Simsimi

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 06:37:00 +0000

Simsimi is the hottest chick on Philippine web today. Every morning, whenever I open my Facebook account, screen shots of Simsimi conversations are plastered on my landing page and I'm like, "WTF?". Out of curiosity, a pinch of annoyance, and a teaspoon of boredom, I googled this Simsimi to know why the hell most of my friends, imaginary friends, and supernatural friends are totally hooked up with this yellow ball with a cute and a bit annoying face.

Simsimi is an iOS and Android application created by ISMaker, a Korean Tech company, last 2002. It uses artificial intelligence to converse with human users. The Simsimi app draws on a base of about 10 million question-and-answer conversations to come up with what many users describe as the best conversation app they have ever used. When a user sends a text to the Simsimi app on their iPhone or Android device, or communicates with it on their computer, the app responds by automatically scanning for related conversations in its massive database, then spitting out a relevant, and often hilarious, response.

So that's what I've found after Google-ing it. This app isn't new after all. Simsimi is already ten years old, older than the newly introduced Tita Siri of iPhone 4S. Protests have been made against this app in Thailand, as what I've read, and I guess they have a strong point. Because Simsimi can be taught by users, it can also be a threat to some people, and especially to children. The creator of this app said that they have developed the program to screen foul and abusive words. The question is, did they also screened "Pinoy foul words"? I have seen screen shots where Simsimi orally defamed some names, not just nicknames, but full names, calling someone as bakla (gay). It even named private body parts in Tagalog.

See?

Well enough of those controversial people. Some of its answers weren't relevant too, so I got bored after some 30-ish minutes of playing with this yellow ball that reminded me of balut. Here were some of our conversations.

Hey, before this ends, let me show you one last picture that shows there are some people out there who wish to see Simsimi go in jail, haha.

photo not mine

Hule ka!

Hear, Speak, See No Evil

noreply@blogger.com (PALiiiTS) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 14:17:00 +0000

photo not mine

Just this morning, I woke up on the sound of women screaming, children crying and dogs barking. I was so annoyed even though that wasn't the first time it happened here. It's pretty normal in a place like where I live you know. Anyway, I went outside with a big frown on my face, and what I saw slapped me awake. There were two men who're preparing to go at each other, one has a bolo while the other was holding a metal pipe. They were furious too furious that even their children and wives' cries seemed inaudible to them. I saw the look of one of the kids, and what I saw was total innocence. He was just staring at his Tatay (Father) with a blank expression. I even thought I saw a spark of admiration in his eyes. He was just staring, while all kinds of curses and obscene, unacceptable words sputtered unrelentingly from his Tatay's mouth. Just when I thought that those two men would go at it, the police came and fortunately suppressed both men. While they were dragged to a police car, both men were still cursing each other, as loud as the cop car's siren.

As the commotion subsided, all went back to normal. I still couldn't forget the look of the child though. About 4:30 this afternoon, I was enjoying a stick of cigarette outside our house, enjoying the scene of the kids playing and running around. By the look of it, it seemed a near-bloodbath had never happened. I was about to enter the house, when suddenly, a shrill voice of a young boy overcame all the laughter.

"Putang ina mo! Papatayin kita pag naglaro ka ulit dito! 'Tang ina mong hayop ka!"

(Son of a bitch! I'll kill you if you ever play here again! You son of a bitch!)

Shocked, I tried to find where the voice was coming from. Then I saw him. The child who learned what he's not supposed to learn from his Tatay. Standing alone in the street, he was waving a stick at his former playmate, cursing the way his father did, threatening the enemy with a wooden stick.

These are the things I wouldn't want my sons to see. As much as I could, I'll lead them away from a scene where kids aren't supposed to be. Let us remember, for the sake of our children, that whatever an elder does, in the eyes of a child, there's nothing wrong about it.