Maybe I should have?

15 Minutes are so hard to find these days…

I also doubt that Mrs. Butterworth would have answered the phone there anyway and that would’ve left me somewhat disappointed…

Anyway, it all started last week when I received my renewal notice from Allstate.

Yes, the same Allstate that screwed me over royally with my homeowners insurance.

To their defence, they’re also the same Allstate that didn’t raise my premiums after I essentially totaled my BMW.

It’s a love/hate relationship.

Anyway, I recognize the moderately thick square envelope every time it arrives and it’s never good news — basically nothing more than a HUGE bill.

My premium this time was $1102.20 for the next six months.

That’s actually up around $31 since this time last year.

Sure, that covers my two cars but, even still, I’ve always felt that $2200 per year was a little steep. Perhaps not after the accident, but prior to that, definitely.

So flipping through the entire policy, and thinking about raising my deductible or just plain lowering some of my coverage to save a few bucks I noticed that it listed me as a “32 year old single male.”

A few problems with that… First, I’m only 31. Second, I’m married. That last part is factual. I am male.

Now, in addition, I’d received one of those canned cold-call emails in the middle of the night from my Allstate insurance agent. You know the kind. After they’ve made their pitch for something they always close with the standard, “If you have any questions about your policy, please don’t hesitate to ask!”

Okay…

I filled out the online form and said, “I got married back in 2006 but my policy still lists me as single. Will that get me any sort of discount? Please?”

I didn’t bother to mention the age issue as I’ll be 32 by the time the policy takes effect.

My agent’s secretary responded yesterday morning via email asking me to call the office to “confirm” the marriage.

After spending 4 minutes and 20 seconds on the phone during my lunch hour, I’m happy to report that my new 6-month premium is $885.40.

Over the span of a year, that’s over $400 less! That’s HUGE!

But now I’m kicking myself for being so friendly… I should have demanded the discount retroactively for the past 2 years…

Nah, a $400 savings is good enough for me…

Just this week my wife and I were talking about how we haven’t been watching much television lately. We don’t watch anything in prime time actually. (No, the conversation never turned anywhere near the idea of canceling cable to save money…)

But starting tonight, I think we’ll have something somewhat interesting to watch every night of the week! That is, if NBC doesn’t over sensationalize every single thing an American athlete does or has done…

I’m not really interested about how Amanda Beard loves animals, hates China, and likes to pose nude. I could really care less. The Olympics aren’t the place to go out and make a political statement or stage a protest. And she’s a freakin’ competitor?! Just jump in the pool and swim — in a regular bathing suit…

My first experience of unbiased Olympic coverage was back in 1992 for the Albertville Winter Games. At the time, I was in Germany and the television coverage was far from all German, all the time — even though they were speaking German.

It didn’t leave a huge impression on me back then, but for the last Summer Games in Athens, we happened to be in Canada and CBC’s coverage brought the memories rushing back.

It was… refreshing.

In response to NBC’s alleged over-reporting of the US athletes, Bob Costas recently responded, “Are Americans somewhat more interested in American performers? Of course they are, but we don’t insult the intelligence of the audience. They’re interested in any good story where ever it may appear.”

Okay, Bob… But, NBC does insult the intelligence of the audience.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Team Handball on NBC’s prime time coverage. Could it be because the United States is terrible at the sport? Do they forbid televising an event where the Americans get crushed or fail to even show up?

I dunno, the NBC coverage gets a little boring and old when you just keep on seeing one American after another win gold. That’s fine though, I’d agree that stuff should be covered. It’s a huge accomplishment.

But really, there aren’t that many events at the Olympics and they should probably show *every* medal winning performance whether an American is on the podium or not. I’d appreciate that. I doubt I’m alone.

Based on their past coverage, to the casual fan, the US has apparently pitched a shutout against the world.

I mean, would it hurt to show, I dunno, the gold medal game in Team Handball between Denmark and South Korea? At the very least, tt might enlighten a few of the geography-challenged out there.

I’m only using Team Handball as an example because it’s one of those games that I don’t even really understand, but it’s a fascinating thing to see. It’s fast, it’s rough, and it’s exciting. And every single one of the players is anonymous to me. That alone disqualifies its entertainment value for NBC, it seems.

NBC doesn’t seem to understand that to make great television, the public doesn’t need some sob-story background on the athlete from the wrong side of the tracks who’s bound for glory. I know I don’t need that.

I’d be perfectly happy if I never heard the names Michael Phelps, Dara Torres, on Shawn Johnson again…

And the games haven’t even started yet!?

Can you say, overexposed?

It was our second time taking in the band for free at the Mohegan Sun and both shows were most excellent. No joke, we were less than 10 feet from the stage each time.

Last year, I even had a pseudo conversation with John Flansburgh before the show.

(For me, that was a “Holy Crap!” moment that I’ll probably remember for the rest of my life… I didn’t squeal like a little girl or anything, I’m just sayin’… it was a moment.)

Well, they’re coming back.

That’s this weekend.

Saturday *AND* Sunday.

And it’s free.

100% free!

Next week, it’ll cost you $32.50 (plus any associated TicketMaster surcharges) to see them at the 16,000 seat Nassau Coliseum (where the NY Islanders play).

But this weekend only, you can see them for FREE in a venue where a capacity crowd is 300 people…

Hmmm… Wonder where I’ll be this weekend???

Sadly, I’m pretty sure that all of the folks that have stumbled upon this site looking for the answer have left empty handed wondering why they just wasted a few seconds of their life on a goofy site called something like “Pig in a Pan”.

While I’m sure that I’ve tiptoed around the perimeter of the answer in my PMI and Homeowner’s Insurance posts, I’m not certain that I’ve ever actually just flat out answered the question: Why did my fixed rate mortgage bill go up?

The answer lies in the escrow account set up, usually at closing, by the mortgage company you hold your mortgage with.

Money held in the escrow account is paid by the lender on your behalf. Things like property taxes, homeowners insurance, and private mortgage insurance (ugh!) are the main things paid out of the account.

So, while the principle and interest portion of your mortgage is “fixed”, the escrow portion is not.

Why not?

Well, it often varies from year-to-year because tax assessments and insurance premiums bounce around from year-to-year. Usually they go up, right? Taxes always seem to go up.

The cool part in the case your taxes go up, or whatever, is that the lender will typically cover any shortfalls in the escrow account. That is, until they can adjust your monthly payment — which they call an escrow analysis which is usually done annually, often the same month that you originally took on the mortgage.

As a real world example, when I first took on my mortgage in 2002, my “fixed” monthly payment was somewhere around $1100 per month.

But one month in to the mortgage, Allstate Insurance dropped my homeowners policy. Behind property taxes, the largest chunk of my original “escrow account” was based on Allstate’s homeowners insurance premium.

As I scurried to find replacement coverage I quickly learned that homeowner’s insurance premiums can vary widely. With Allstate, my yearly premium was around $450. On the Fair Plan, which I was forced to resort to, my premium was nearly $1000. Over double.

Now for the next 11 months, my mortgage payment remained at the original $1100. Unbeknownst to me, at the time, my mortgage company was covering the shortfall in my escrow account.

Then came the mortgage company’s annual escrow review on my account 12 months after I had moved in. My next mortgage bill was around $1350?!

At first, having grown accustomed to paying $1100 each month, I was flabbergasted. How could this be? How could they raise my monthly bill by over $250. This was a fixed mortgage! They couldn’t do that, could they?

To get my answer, all I had to do was read page 2 of my mortgage statement. It took me nearly a week to do this — I’m embarrassed to admit. The additional $250 was to cover the shortfall from the year before and also to ensure that they wouldn’t have to “spot” me the difference in the following year. Make sense?

That second year was rough. It wasn’t in my budget to have a $1350 mortgage payment.

That’s why it was a pleasant surprise when, 12 months later, my mortgage bill went down to $1200. This was because I was no longer covering a shortfall from the previous year.

Still, it was more than my original mortgage bill but less than what I had been paying. The quick up and then down experience in the first two years of my mortgage made it all click for me.

Hopefully this example helped it click for you too!

As a side note, for most folks, the insurance premium stays pretty constant, it’s the tax assessment that gets you…

For the past 4 years running, it’s been a series of tax hikes that have kept my bill going higher and higher…

I collect game worn hockey jerseys.

I sure some, actually MOST, are saying, “What? There’s a market for such a thing?” Amazingly, yes. And they’re expensive. Really expensive.

The “best” one in my collection right now would pull in nearly $10k at auction right now. Think about that. That’s crazy!

Back then I said that I’d spent well in excess of $75k on this hobby over the years. And though I never mentioned it, it was also about that time that I put a soft cap on my spending to try to curb the excessive amount of money I was throwing into it.

The limit was two hundred dollars per month. Hardly frugal, but most often times not enough to purchase anything that would interest me.

For a few months I went well over that spending limit, but I was always telling myself in the back of my head that $200 was the limit. Try not to go over $200. You can’t afford it.

It didn’t take long for me to start making deals with myself. Well, I’ll spend $350 now and then next month I won’t buy anything.

Of course, that didn’t work at all.

Something would peak my interest on eBay or in a memorabilia auction, often times less than a week later, and I’d plunk down another $750 for some dirty and torn polyester.

Still, it was progress. I was, in fact, spending less using this wishy-washy method.

Then as I saw my debts falling (and the credit card balances evaporate), I started to think, “Wow, in a few months, when I reach my goal and I’m totally debt free, I’ll be able to blow like $2k per month on hockey jerseys!”

That was in May.

May was also the last time that I purchased a jersey.

This is the first time since the summer of 1997 that I’ve gone an entire month (let alone TWO!) without acquiring anything.

Now, this shirt-less streak originally started because I was reminding myself of the reward (the $2k budget) at the end of the tunnel. That kept me from reaching for my wallet (and keeping tabs on what was on the market).

But now, since it’s been so long since I’ve been active in the buy/sell/trade world of the hobby, I’m finding that I don’t really miss it all that much.

That isn’t to say that I’m abandoning my collection or that I won’t still actively pursue certain jerseys that I’d like to acquire, but I’m no longer salivating over a sweet $2k/month budget either.

For my future finances, that’s a good thing.

And you know what? It’s a good thing for my collection too.

I can’t believe I just quoted Andy Warhol…

I never really “got” his artwork.

And his personality? I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but he was a weirdo.

Weirder, even, than that horrible Perez Hilton guy that commands so much media attention.

But there’s a lot that can be said about that quote. I mean, one could say that’s the reason a Ron Paul presidency would never work but I’m not going to go there…

I’m going to go back to a few experiences I had while on vacation.

One was that we were very disappointed at how many establishments in the mid-west served Pepsi. I mean, sorry, that’s just wrong. Pepsi tastes like bug spray — how anyone could prefer it is beyond me. So I’m siding with Andy Warhol on that one… Coke is it!

But really, in each of the hotels we stayed in, as we’d depart, we’d pilfer, plunder, and pillage the free loot in the bathroom. You know, soap, moisturizer, mouthwash, shampoo, conditioner, and if we were really lucky, even a shoe horn… C’mon, everyone does it.

Basically, anything that we hadn’t opened during our stay was coming with us.

So, since we’ve arrived home, we’ve been using all sorts of miniature soaps in the shower. Like a Coke, a bar of soap is just a bar of soap, right?

Well… this is where the story takes a turn…

Usually at home, we use Dial.

Sometimes Irish Spring, if it’s on sale.

And I recall seeing a bar of Dove in the not too distant past, as well.

I can’t really say that I favor one over the other, I mean, soap *is* soap.

All three brands make me feel like I need to sneeze when I walk anywhere near the bathroom.

All three get really mooshy overnight sitting in the shower and disintegrate to create a lively soap scum display on the wall — not Warhol-esque. It has more of a Jackson Pollack feel to it.

Further, when I’m washing my face, sometimes I feel like I’ve just inhaled too close to a powdered donut. I’m sure you know the feeling. Happens all the time with Dove. Do they make it out of baby powder or something?

But this past week, while using a trial soap from one of the hotels, I noticed that the soap wasn’t mooshy on day two.

It smelled kinda nice — not like confectioners sugar — but more like a really muted cucumber smell. Odd, for me to think that, because I don’t even like cucumbers.

And best of all, after I rinsed off, I felt squeaky clean. More so than I do with any of our regular soaps. Even a little tingly. The floor wasn’t even slippery.

What kind of soap was this?

I asked my wife…

Thankfully, she remembered the label (or the imprint before I scrubbed it smooth): June Jacobs.

I declared that starting today this would be our new daily soap of choice and proceeded to finish off the bar.

Hopping online, we found the soap. Yep, that’s the one. We were very excited.

The price, um, is that right? $18/bar?

What?

$18/bar?

Wow.

Are they kidding?

You can get 12 bars of Ivory at the grocery store for $3.99. Even an 8-pack of the overpriced Irish Spring can be had for $4.49…

Where does June Jacobs get off charging $18 for one bar of soap?

I mean, Ivory is 99.44% pure and it only costs around 33 cents per bar…

Evidently, a bar of soap is not just a bar of soap.

Someday, though, I hope to use June Jacobs on a regular basis, but obviously today is not that day…

Yesterday, I went on and on (and on) about the headache Countrywide is giving me over the cancellation of Private Mortgage Insurance.

Putting things in perspective, or just perceiving my own problems from a different perspective, if the $85/month I’m being charged for PMI is the biggest financial burden I have going right now, I can’t really complain about much…

It wasn’t that long ago that my minimum credit card payments were over $500. Finance charges alone were adding up to $250/month?!

This is a mere $85…

I think that the reason I’ve had such an issue with it is that it’s my only remaining expense for which I get nothing in return.

It truly is money out the window. Kinda like that storage unit I rented for over a year…

Well, I’ve been getting it for the last 18 hours on seemingly every other site I visit.

When you click ‘OK’, you’re taken to the ever popular “Internet Explorer cannot display the web page”.

Hmmmm… Server must be down or something. Maybe it’s my connection? I’ll give it a few minutes.

Waiting… Waiting… Waiting… Same problem.

Eh, let’s try it in FireFox and see what happens…

Will you look at that? It works just fine!

I’ve been a fan of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer for, well, since they wiped Netscape Navigator from the face of the internet. But of late, it seems as though Firefox is the more reliable browser…

This is the third time in a little over a month I’ve found something to display just fine in Firefox, but horribly wrong or not at all in Internet Explorer. This latest problem, I can’t even get pages to load in IE?!

I’m considering making the switch to Firefox myself (even though deep down I hate it with a passion).

To IE’s credit, apparently the “operation” messing up so many websites this week has something to do with SiteMeter, a popular site tracking applet that many people install on their sites — so it could actually be their fault.

Either way, shame on them for not testing their update on IE — still by far the most popular browser.

But, perhaps, they’re trying to get more people to move to Firefox.

I was hoping for a fresh response, but to no avail… They sent the exact same letter:

IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT YOUR LOAN

Thank you for your recent inquiry about deleting the mortgage insurance on your Countrywide home loan. Your loan must meet current mortgage insurance cancellation requirements for this to occur. Please allow us to explain what this involves.

——————-

WHAT THIS MEANS

The current value of your property must be equal to or greater than the original value of your property at the time the loan closed for the PMI to be deleted. The original value of your property means the lesser of the sales price or the appraised value at the closing of a purchase loan, and the appraised value at the closing of a refinance loan. A Certificate of Value (COV) is required to determine if the current value of your property is sufficient to meet this requirement. Your noteholder requires Countrywide Home Loans to select your COV provider. You will be responsible for the cost of the COV. Before you send a check or call to provide credit card information for you COV, we would suggest that you try to verify that the value of your property meet the above mentioned criteria.

——————-

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

If you choose to continue with the COV ordering process, simply complete the form at the bottom of this letter and return it with a check made payable to Landsafe Appraisal Services for $130.00. You must reference your loan number and write “COV Fee” on the check. Please do not include the COV fee along with your regular monthly payment. It must be sent separately.

Landsafe w ill [sic] contract a local Broker or Realtor to perform the COV, which will include an interior inspection and photographs. The Broker or Realtor should identify himself or herself and indicate that he or she was contracted by Landsafe. If he or she fails to do so, please ask. Our department will then review the COV and if it is determined that it adequately supports at least the original value of the property, your request will be approved. The insurance will be cancelled and your payment adjusted accordingly.

——————-

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Because of your timely payment record, we are able to consider your request; however, please keep in mind that any late payment may prevent cancellation.

If you do not take action within 60 days, please contact us at (800) 669-6607 to confirm your continued eligibility.

We look forward to receiving you COV soon so that we can take care of this matter for you.

Requirements are subject to change.

This letter supersedes any previous information that may have been provided to you.

Gee, thanks.

Once again, they failed to answer my simple yes or no question.

They also, apparently, didn’t comprehend my question either… Either that or they ignored it.

I certainly didn’t ask for this letter a second time. Did I?

If you’re completely lost, new to my personal PMI plight, or are in a similar situation with your own mortgage company, I suggest you read the PIAC archives on the subject.

I can’t claim that they hold a lot of real useful information, but at least you won’t feel like you’re the only one getting screwed over.

I’m not really in favor of bashing Countrywide — there are entire websites out there dedicated to that sort of thing.

Looking at some of the listed “gripes”, I dunno, you sorta have to take them with a grain of salt.

Lots of people bitch and moan about things that they really have no business complaining about. I also think that they exaggerate the facts a bit too… Ever look at some of the negative product reviews on Amazon? Yikes!

When my mortgage changed hands 3 times before my second mortgage payment was due, I was pretty happy when that first bill came from a company I’d actually heard of — Countrywide.

Since then, things have gone quite smoothly for the most part. It’s been nearly 6 years with Countrywide.

I love that I’ve been able to send them payments blindly on a weekly basis and that they’ve correctly assumed to put those extra payments towards the principle. They haven’t charged me a single fee either — though if I’d initiated a bi-weekly plan through them, there would have been associated fees.

I’d originally tested out the plan starting with one $25 payment back in June 2007. Last month, I sent them over $1500 extra in payments. All of it towards the principle. It’s been great. Kudos to Countrywide.

But my relationship has also been soured in the last month.

As I approached paying off 20% of my mortgage, I started to look into having the Private Mortgage Insurance on my mortgage removed which was (is) costing me $85.15 per month.

Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI) - PMI is extra insurance that lenders require from most homebuyers who obtain loans that are more than 80 percent of their new home’s value. In other words, buyers with less than a 20 percent down payment are normally required to pay PMI.

PMI plays an important role in the mortgage industry by protecting a lender against loss if a borrower defaults on a loan and by enabling borrowers with less cash to have greater access to homeownership. With this type of insurance, it is possible for you to buy a home with as little as a 3 percent to 5 percent down payment. This means that you can buy a home sooner without waiting years to accumulate a large down payment.

Under HPA, you have the right to request cancellation of PMI when you pay down your mortgage to the point that it equals 80 percent of the original purchase price or appraised value of your home at the time the loan was obtained, whichever is less. You also need a good payment history, meaning that you have not been 30 days late with your mortgage payment within a year of your request, or 60 days late within two years. Your lender may require evidence that the value of the property has not declined below its original value and that the property does not have a second mortgage, such as a home equity loan.

I put in a request to have it removed when I surpassed the 20% mark.

In response, I received the letter quoted above. I was not happy.

A little research pointed me towards the Federal Trade Commission. They’re an independent agency of the U.S. government and one of their primary functions is to regulate and enforce consumer protection. Kinda like Clark Howard but on a bigger and more authoritative scale.

They state that Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI) must be terminated automatically by the mortgage company when the borrower reaches 22 percent equity in the home based on the original property value — most often, the purchase price.

Having been rejected by Countrywide when I was allowed to request removal (at 20%), I wanted confirmation from them that when I reached 22%, like the FTC says, that the PMI would indeed be terminated.

They responded with the same form letter. Yeah, that same one quoted above. Again.

Is this post starting to sound like a broken record?

Yeah, I thought so.

It’s really frustrating because I can’t seem to get a solid answer.

On the previously mentioned Countrywide-bashing website, you can read all about countless other people in a similar situation but nothing quite as simple as mine.

They all have 3/1 ARMs, re-fi’s, stacked mortgages, interest-only mortgages, and some are trying to get the PMI removed after just 4 payments or something.

You know, really complicated stuff. Stuff that I’d side with Countrywide on. They should be rejected cause, well, they’re risky.

My situation is not complicated.

I have one mortgage.

It’s a standard 30-year fixed rate mortgage. The rate is a decent 6.735%. I paid 0 points.

It’s not an FHA Loan. HUD was never mentioned. There weren’t any special “First Time Buyer” prizes or credits thrown in upon purchase. They were offered, yes, but I was quite skeptical about such freebies and turned them all down.

It’s just a boring generic old fashioned run-of-the-mill mortgage.

I’ve made 71 payments so far. Seventy-one out of 360 total scheduled. If it takes me all 360 payments to pay this mortgage off, I’m just shy of 20% of the way finished right now. This isn’t a new loan.

It’s also not a jumbo loan. I borrowed $131k. That’s it.

There are no other liens against the home.

It wasn’t a zero-down home purchase.

I’ve never missed a payment.

I’ve never taken out a HELOC.

I’ve never refinanced.

With all that, you’d think that I’d be an ideal candidate to have PMI removed at the 80% mark — when you’re permitted to ask them to remove it.

Well, you’d be wrong.

I haven’t hit the 78% mark just yet. It may come later this month, at which point I’ll submit another request to have PMI removed. If not this month, then next month for sure…

But I’ll be damned if they send me the same form letter a third time requesting that I pay them $135 for an appraisal that the FTC indicates isn’t necessary.

Hmmmm… Countrywide policies or Federal Law?

Which takes precedence?

Sadly, I’m expecting my third form letter.

And then I’ll file my FTC complaint and continue to pay PMI indefinitely…

But, right or wrong, it does have a profound effect on how I’m perceived by my co-workers and others that work in the same office building.

See, I haven’t taken this car to work since, hmmmm, probably sometime over the summer in 2005. And even then, it was for just one day.

But I’ve had the car for 9 years. That’s a long time.

People knew I had it back when I first bought it. I drove it, maybe twice a week, but then it disappeared from view. Rather…their view.

Though it was rare for someone to ask, “Hey, you still have that little convertible?”, it would happen on occasion — maybe once every six months.

I’d be honest and say, “Yep, it’s the elephant in the garage.”

But today, as I peered out my top floor window down at the lot to make sure no one parked “too close” (I’m paranoid of that sort of thing), I couldn’t help but notice people turning their heads in confusion as they walked through the lot…

That’s where Brainy parks… Someone must’ve taken his spot…

I caught one woman, who I don’t even know, take a picture of it with her phone… That was little weird — it’s not a Ferrari or anything…

But I can’t tell you how many people have made their way past my office today — many who I haven’t had a real non-work related conversation with in months — to say *something* about my car in the lot.

Some are as simple and innocent as, “Nice wheels” or “That must be fun to drive!” or “Does is have stinger missiles behind the headlights?”

Others are laced with jealousy, saying things like, “Must be nice to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth,” though they have no idea where I came from or of my background.

Still, others make stuff up like, “Yeah, my brother in-law’s friend’s cousin raced the M5 version with his bitchin’ Camaro and smoked it…” to put it down as if to boost themselves or something through an imaginary acquaintance.

And some are just plain obnoxious, “Wow you must get some nice tail driving that,” or “Trying to compensate for something?”

(Thankfully, there are select few at work that know the truth — that I worked really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard to be able to buy that car. But even they were shocked to see that I *still* had it.)

Comments like these are the main reason that I don’t drive this car to work. I don’t want the attention. I don’t particularly like the attention. Actually, complementary or rude, they all make me really uncomfortable. It’s embarrassing.

But I will say one thing — it’s refreshing to know that all it took was driving a different car to no longer be thought of as the guy who sports a “home haircut” and shops at Steve & Barry’s (and is willing to admit to both)!

Now to some, I’m Ricky Shroder.

To others, I’m the guy who’s “gay” because I prefer euro-cars over muscle cars.

And still, to some, I’m just the guy who has a car shaped like a penis.

But if I’m lucky, maybe one or two people will make the connection that yes, wearing $7.50 t-shirts and knock-off sneakers and working hard, five days a week, does have its perks…

Now to count down the two hours until 5:00 when I’ll drive away with the top down trying my best to look un-cool even though to some, now, as of today, I apparently am…

Another couple weeks, well, people will forget and my image will be back to being that “cheap” guy again…

Oh, and how come no one takes pictures of my daily driver? Sheesh, its book value is almost double that of the BMW…

Oh yeah, perception is a mysterious thing…