Maya arrives in Kathmandu in time to celebrate Tihar with her new sisters & brothers. photo credit: Bonnie Ellison

Ama Ghar recently had a family day and inauguration of their new building, so I went out to visit and see how Maya was doing. She had arrived at the orphanage during Tihar, which meant days of feasting, singing, and celebration — a good way to begin! As the youngest of 36 kids, she is now getting loads of attention. Staff and children alike seem to love her already, and the older children like to carry her around. What I heard repeatedly, from ALL of them, is that Maya is a great dancer!

Maya proudly showed me her bunk bed and her very own trunk, filled with new clothes. I gave her a big furry pillow as a present, which she hugged and squeezed and then stuffed in her trunk for later. She told me she had started school and began chattering away about the two dogs, her friend Pooja, all the motorcycles parked out front, the people arriving, the cookies they were serving……

I was delighted to see Maya happy and joyful, as I’m sure you will be, too. Here’s a short video with some excerpts from her journey (and a few dance moves). Special thanks to Leslie Bristow for video production and to our donors. Together we have transformed the course of Maya’s life and opened up a future of possibility. And remember, you knew her before she became a famous dancer.

Maya’s Journey

Maya and me. Photo credit: Tara Bider

As the newest member of our trek group, Maya enjoyed quite a bit of attention, but it was still me who was momma. Whether it meant bathroom breaks, food, buying a toothbrush, or putting on warmer clothes (my fleece worn as a dress), I was suddenly the mother of a 4-year-old (and still the guide for 14 adults). I had my hands full, but it was well worth it. (My trekking group was also very supportive thankfully!)

Maya was amazingly fearless. She shed not a tear of goodbye, played easily with all her new American friends, and eventually slept curled up beside me. I slept very little, however. With the worry of a new mother, I lay watching this child breathe and rest next to me and held her in my arms as she woke a little confused at 5am for our flight.

First plane ride! photo credit: Barbara Gessaman

Flight? Oh, very exciting indeed! Maya had never been on a plane before. Even better though, was her giddiness at the vehicles and people on the ground in Kathmandu. She kept pointing at everything, “Look, a car! Look, a truck! Look! Look!” When our bus to the terminal started moving, she was surprised and began clapping her hands in delight at the carnival ride we were on. She had never before seen a real car or been on a moving vehicle. There are no roads near Lukla.

Maya claps in delight as the bus starts moving! photo credit: Katie Hoar

By the time we were in the van weaving through traffic on the way to the hotel, she had quieted down considerably. I asked if everything was okay. She said her stomach hurt and then promptly threw up all over my lap. Awesome. So much for the fun of moving vehicles. So much for the beauty of motherhood.

When Bhesh from the orphanage came to pick Maya up, she was understandably reluctant. I took her out to the garden, played for a bit, then pretend to answer my mobile. He soon lured her away from my leg to check out the geese. I hung around so that when she looked back she could see me, until finally she seemed absorbed and I headed back into the lobby. When they finally came inside together an hour later, they were fast friends.

I told Maya it was time to go to her new home. She agreed, and off she went as fearlessly as she had come, carrying her few possessions as Bhesh guided her along.

On the way to Lukla: Maya, Me, and Mani. Photo credit: Jon Wist

I never thought I’d be carrying a child on my back through the Himalayas, but that’s exactly where I found myself.

When the Sunrise family decided to send Maya to Kathmandu, they needed a way to get her there. I was hiking out to Lukla the same day and catching a flight in the morning, so….

They washed her face, gave us a Sherpa send-off of Coca-Cola and prayer scarves, took a bunch of photos, and packed up some biscuits for the trail. Maya was leaving with the clothes on her back, though I did insist they track down her beloved pink pony. Maya likes horses.

Although the family told her she was going with me, I anticipated some fuss and crying. I picked Maya up and asked her in Nepali if she would come to Kathmandu with me. She said, “I’ll go,” and she meant it. No fuss, no crying. This little girl struck me as immeasurably brave as she headed off into the unknown with a stranger and a smile.

Hiking across the suspension bridge with Maya in my arms, I had a moment of, “Oh my god, what am I DOING?!?!” I turned to Dawa, my Nepali friend and guide, and asked a little uncertainly, “This is okay, right?”

The suspension bridge leaving Phakding.

Dawa had witnessed the whole story starting in the spring. He beamed at me and gave me a strong, “YES!!!”, and I was filled back up with confidence. I shifted Maya around to hang on my back Nepali-style, and we hiked out towards Lukla.

Our Sherpa team kept offering to carry her, but I carried Maya about two of the three hours. It was the second time this season I knew the weight of a human being, this time a small girl. I had a big responsibility for her now, and I wanted to remember the weight of her as a reminder of my responsibility. Once I put it that way, Mani let me carry her up and down and up some more until finally I was too tired, and he took over for the final uphill to Lukla.

Reunited with Maya this fall. Photo credit: Kerry Van Voris

On my way to Everest Base Camp this fall, our first stop was Phakding. Maya was looking great! She was smiling and talking and far less shy than only a few months before. She was writing the alphabet in a notebook although she wasn’t in school yet, and she clung to me with the needy affection of a child not getting enough attention. All of this made me more confident that Kathmandu was the right option for her.

I sat down with the Sunrise family to tell them about the home available in Kathmandu. It took a fair bit of convincing for them to believe this was a nice, clean, beautiful home and not something out of a Dickens novel. I described how the house mothers and staff ate the same food as the children (not cooking better food for themselves). I told them about the American living there, the stacks of books and toys, the private education, the organic garden, and more. Finally, I left it up to them to think about it all while we trekked. I didn’t want to pressure them into doing what I thought was right. I wanted them to consider what they thought best.

Two weeks, 9,000 vertical feet, and many adventures later, our group was back in Phakding. Sitting in the kitchen of the Sunrise lodge, I asked the family what they wanted to do. They had a few more questions–about paperwork and school holidays and such. In the end, they decided to send Maya to a new home and new life in Kathmandu. Today. Since I was going that way.

Maya. photo credit: Tara Bider

Thanks to our donors, Changing Lives Nepal raised enough money this summer to send Maya to school for a year, perhaps two. In Nepal, however, money is just the beginning of a solution. I started considering how we could best ensure Maya’s future.

Maya is about 5 years old now. The family at Sunrise Lodge wanted to send her to a boarding school in Kathmandu (which is not uncommon, even at a young age), but I was concerned that she was too young to be placed in a hostel. She needed love and a family as much as an education. I was also worried about what would happen when her scholarship ran out. Could we raise more money every year? Not just for two or three years, but for 10+ years? I’m already committed to the future of 13 children at our Children’s Home. Could I guarantee that I’d be able to support Maya to maturity also? It seemed better to find a permanent placement for her. Our own orphanage just took 3 new children and is full, plus I knew the Sunrise family would never send her off to a rural area unknown to them. They wanted her to have a Kathmandu education or else they’d keep her at their home.

Maybe their home was the best option? It was possible, but the Sunrise family were preoccupied with the new child they were adopting as their own. The public government primary school 30 minutes away wasn’t going to offer much in the way of education, plus they had not enrolled her for this year. I was concerned Maya wasn’t getting the attention that she needed, and that was later confirmed as she hugged me and clung to me this fall.

Maybe an orphanage in Kathmandu? That could be difficult. In Nepal, the word “orphanage” conjures up notions of children in dark, cramped rooms, eating poor food, and directors who pocket funds. Too many orphanages in Nepal are run like a business, cutting costs and taking out profits.

I started looking for an organization I could trust and finally found one through friends. Ama Ghar is a modern orphanage just outside Kathmandu. It is run by an American woman who lives there and has a good ratio of staff to kids. If they took Maya, she would have a beautiful village-type environment, good house mothers, good nutrition, and a private education. I contacted them, told them all about Maya, and they accepted her.

The Sunrise family, however, wasn’t so excited. When I mentioned an orphanage on the phone this summer, I’m sure they envisioned the poor conditions I’ve described. It wasn’t until I reached Phakding this fall with my trek group that I was able to see Maya and the family and explain the situation to see if they would really accept the placement and send her to Kathmandu.

Maya Rai by Wayne & Jenny Miller

Maya Rai’s mother killed herself before Maya was 3. Her father drank too much, beat her, and married a second wife who didn’t like her. Her father wanted to be rid of her so much that he offered to give her to anyone who would take her, but no one in her village would take her in due to poverty, other hardships, or disinterest.

I met Maya at the Sunrise Lodge in Phakding where our groups always stay on the first night of the Everest Base Camp trek. The lodge owners are devout Buddhists, and they took in both Maya and another girl with a similar story. They were willing to adopt the other girl, and they were looking for a sponsor for Maya’s education.

Maya means “love” in Nepali, and all of us who met Maya this spring seemed to immediately love her. Her story touched us, and her smile captured our hearts. She was shy at moments, but then she would break into a laugh. She loved horses, she was bright and sweet, and we all knew her situation was precarious.

If Maya had not been rescued by this family, she faced abuse, abandonment, and worse, given the problems of human trafficking and the position of women in this society. Now she was safe, but her future hung on funding an education. After returning to the US, we produced a short video about Maya’s situation, and Changing Lives Nepal received some generous donations for her education.

With great appreciation to our donors, we were ready to find Maya a school and a home!

I’m all shook up.

Here in Nepal, we’ve felt at least six small earthquakes in the last two weeks. When I was out visiting the Children’s Home recently, we had three in a single night. Two of them were big enough to strongly rock the house back and forth.

Back in Kathmandu, most of them have felt very small, with the epicenter 25 miles away or more. Every few days, they wake me in the night with a slight rocking. I wonder for a moment if I’m really feeling what I think I’m feeling, but when they persist a few seconds longer, I’m sure.

I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt so many earthquakes in successive nights. Like everyone in Kathmandu, I’m hopeful this will relieve some tectonic pressure and spare the country a major quake. In 1934, a magnitude 8.4 earthquake hit Northern India and caused extensive damage in Kathmandu. I can’t tell you most construction has improved much since then. The growing Himalayas are prone to earthquakes, and if another of that magnitude were to hit Kathmandu, it would be truly disastrous.

Lama Geshe Chants A Prayer

Lama Geshe speaks Tibetan, so when I visit him, conversations get double and triple translated from a mix English and Nepali to a mix of Sherpa and Tibetan. Whatever is lost along the way doesn’t seem to matter much though. We have always have a good chat, and I depart full of warmth.

When I visited him this time, Lama Geshe was talking about the loss of Sherpa culture as Westernization and materialism gradually co-opt traditional Sherpa values and spiritualism. Some young Sherpas can’t speak the language, and some who are educated in Kathmandu have no desire to return to the mountains. I can see it is painful to witness.

Sometimes I suspect that I was an old Nepali woman in a prior life, because I am particularly content to sit and chat with old Nepali people about religion and culture and the deteriorating state of world. When I asked him what could be done about this problem of diminishing culture,  Lama Geshe said it would be good if I wrote the mantra Om Mani Padme Hum in a book or carved it on a stone where people could see it. He mentioned that just yesterday, he had taught the mantra to a group of 30 tourists who visited so that they would go home and say it and others would hear it. I fretted about my lack of publications and stone-carving skills for a moment, but really, who can say no to a high lama? I said I could post it on the internet where I write.

Lama Geshe is worldly enough to have heard of the internet, though I’ve no idea to what extent he grasps it. It’s probably his grand-daughter who’s explained it to him. Anyhow, he assures me posting on the internet is a very good idea. Yes, it will be very good if I will do this. He’s beaming with contagious pleasure, so I ask him if he’d like to recite it and then I’ll post the video where everyone can see it. Oh yes, that’s also a very good idea!

Lama Geshe actually takes the moment to chant a longer prayer, Tibetan scripture rolling easily from memory to mouth. I had the meaning translated by a friend and lama only after reaching Kathmandu, and I was reminded why Lama Geshe and I seem to find common ground despite the language divide. The prayer invites the positive forces in the world to arise and grow and asks for happiness for all beings and an end to suffering. It also invites purification and the hope that we ourselves may be the cause of these positive changes in the world.

Here it is: the first half above, the second half below. It’s a short prayer from Lama Geshe to the world, because I can’t say no to the lama, and why would I want to?

Lama Geshe Prayer 2

Lama Geshe and a wall of signed photos from Everest summiters grateful for his blessing.

Lama Geshe is an Everest-area legend. Foreign climbers and local Sherpas come every season to take his blessing before attempting to climb the dangerous summits of nearby peaks. His receiving room is plastered with signed photos of famous climbers holding the blessing card he had them carry to the summit.

Lama Geshe first left his home of Pangboche when he was still young to travel over the Himalayas and study in Tibet. He earned a Buddhist doctorate, the highest academic achievement available in a monastery, then fled the 1950′s Chinese occupation. Eventually returning to his village, he and his brother settled down and took a single wife — a practice common in Sherpa culture and permitted by the Nyingma sect of Buddhism. Now over 80, Lama Geshe receives a stream of visitors seeking his blessing. He is widely respected and is one of the highest-ranking lamas in the region.

The village of Pangboche sits at more than 13,000 feet and is home to one of the oldest monasteries in Nepal (orange building).

I’ve met Lama Geshe five or six times, sometimes with a group, sometimes solo. It is always a pleasure. Something about this old man elicits happiness in my heart. When I walked into Pangboche this fall, however, I was feeling rather sad. Lama Geshe had a stroke last year and spent weeks in a Kathmandu hospital. I never knew the prognosis, and I hadn’t seen him since his health failed.

When I strolled into our lunch spot, however, my head Sherpa Dawa was grinning and  excitedly told me, “I’ve seen Lama Geshe! He looks very good! He’s walking around his yard, and he’s fine!” Dawa shares my fondness for Lama Geshe and we always visit together, so off we went to pay our respects and see how he was doing. With the exception of some residual leg pain, he does indeed appear to be fine and was his usual smiling self. He touched his head to my head, a profound blessing, and we sat down to talk….

The Buddhist mantra "om mani padme hum" carved into a stone.

Om mani padme hum. Buddhists chant this mantra for the Buddha of Wisdom and Compassion incessantly. They carve it into rocks, inscribe it in prayer wheels, stamp it on prayer flags, and recite it hundreds of thousands of times in morning and evening prayers.

Lama Geshe has asked me to teach it to you:

OM…..MANEE……PADMAY……HOME

(say it with me…)

OM…..MANEE……PADMAY……HOME
OM…..MANEE……PADMAY……HOME

The translation is elusive. Literally, “Hail to the jewel of the lotus,” it has been interpreted to mean many different things. Some say each sound corresponds to a different realm of existence and helps you escape the endless cycle of rebirth. Some say the sounds correspond to Buddhist virtues you should work to attain. The current Dalai Lama explained it as the path to enlightenment is one of altruism and wisdom, that through reciting the mantra, you can purify yourself and be transformed into a Buddha.

Even if you don’t fully grasp the definition, the mantra has powerful esoteric qualities that will benefit you–meaning it transmits spiritual power when you say it, whether you understand it or not. Plus, I just find it soothing. Listen.

Did I say a lama asked me to teach it to you? Yes, let me tell you about that….