Pardon the language

Work & Life Hanging in the Balance

2021-08-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

It’s 5pm, officially the end of the working day. Time to recharge, relax, reconnect with family. It’s 7pm and my smartphone pings. School sends a meeting reminder for the next morning. 9pm and another beep goes off, it’s the extracurricular head wanting to know if the online posters for a Language Carnival are ready. 9.30pm and an emergency Google Meet is called with the head of clubs to delegate duties before a school meeting the following week. 11pm, and a feeble apology precedes an all-important question about the contents of one online brochure. At 11.30pm, I find myself at the laptop, editing a series of silly looking flyers to be sent via Telegram for immediate approval. The faulty and erratic air-conditioning abruptly turns on, sending fresh chills through my body. The next day even the slightest buzz notification on my phone is enough to set off a panic attack.

For most, home used to mean detaching oneself from work and retiring to your own life and family. A chance to relax, unwind and most importantly, allow the brain to rest and recuperate. The pandemic, however, has brought about a huge shift which has resulted in us not just bringing our work home, but working from home while living at home, with people from home in the confines of home. “Home” has lost its special all-important separateness. Work stress is now experienced live at the kitchen table. Disagreements about office matters are handled professionally while pacing in the living room. Suddenly, we find ourselves simultaneously juggling work and everyday life, without a functioning power button. Just like my erratic air-con unit, work functioned in the same unpredictable manner, blasting out cold, unfeeling work emails and announcements round the clock.

Before the advent of distance learning in Malaysian secondary schools, teaching and admin duties were strictly communicated and carried out within working hours which means if it was not finished by the final bell, we’d pick it up the next day. In recent months, with everything available and communicable online, the boundaries have somehow become increasingly blurred. Schools at times assume to have the right to your immediate attention 24/7. In an effort to close the gap between parent–student-admin, teachers’ phone numbers have become “public property”. Class WhatsApp and Telegram groups are mandatory to disseminate information, to share important messages, to be observed and monitored. To add to that, at least 10 admin-related groups exist to coordinate e-activities, schedule e-meetings and e-competitions. On the one hand, communication has never been more efficient, organised and time saving. On the other, in embracing this new normal, we have forgotten the most important ground rule of respectful communication.

Timing is everything.

Inspiration hits people at different times and that’s okay. What is NOT okay is to go on a texting spree, at 2 in the morning just because you are super charged and fired up about a project. In fact, sending out your rapid-fire messages at odd hours and expecting immediate responses is both cruel and absurd. If you are in a senior or more authoritative role, it puts the recipient in a very awkward position of either feeling like they are directly disrespecting you by not replying immediately, or less proactive because they are not responding with the same level of speed and enthusiasm you are. Contrary to the expectation of increased productivity, this expectation of on-demand replies can actually have adverse effects on the overall efficacy of the unit, as illustrated in the following paragraph.

To begin with, staying connected to work after hours can lead to a very overwhelmed and stressed-out staff. The reason is simple. If one is meant to respond ASAP, regardless of the time, then no hour is “safe enough” to relax, to truly be at home, the term after work ceases to hold any meaning. Instead, it’s a constant feeling of high alert whenever a project is around the corner, or a meeting is due. Never being able to just silence your phone for fear of being accused as “uncontactable” or “unavailable”, we have conditioned ourselves to check every text, email, notification and broadcast message. As a result, home activities like dinner, or conversing with family members, take a backseat as we remain tethered to work, unable to disconnect, disable and destress.

For the most part, this letter is calling for stricter observations of after work communication policies or erecting some if none. It is a plea to schools (and any organizations for that matter) to start prioritising work-life balance of their staff. Now more than ever, as we have brought work home, there is a need to establish clear non-negotiable boundaries between work and home life. As it can directly affect mental health and performance of any group, stability between the two cannot be taken lightly. Many employees have become so accustomed to this way of life, that it is second nature to them to “quickly deal with it” irrespective of the ungodly hour work might rear its ugly head.

If you find yourself a swamped and often burnt out victim of these invasive tech-“friendly” times, it’s time you took a step back and put yourself first. Whether it is as extreme as turning off data and Wi-Fi or simply muting certain job-related groups, you will begin to value and furiously guard your right to separation from work after hours. Just remember, unless it is a matter of life and death, you don’t owe anyone a response if a “ping!” drops in the middle of the night.

Morning Meanders

2021-05-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hi reader, what’s been going on in your life? Hope all is well!

I just got my pink bracelet removed yesterday. If you are wondering what that could possibly mean, it’s in reference to a tiny plastic bracelet that I had to wear for a number of days due to possible exposure to someone who had caught the Covid-19 virus. The bracelet was given out by the healthcare officials the same day that I got a swab test for myself and was removed a couple of days after the test showed a negative result.

During those days of quarantine, I had to forego my morning walks and daily dose of fresh air, so this simple pleasure was what I looked forward to the most, the minute the band was snipped off. I took an extra long walk today, soaking up the warm rays of the sunrise, savouring each minute that I could be outside. You may think this is all a bit dramatic, but it’s true! I suppose you never know how much you miss something until it’s taken away from you.

When I first started the habit of taking these brisk strolls back in March, I used to play music on my Spotify app. The songs were usually from the Malaysian or American top 50 English Hits, and after a few rounds, my favourites would be on repeat. However, soon I realised that these songs weren’t really doing it for me anymore. I noticed that instead of finding calmness and pleasure in the physical act of walking, I was constantly preoccupied with choosing the next song, skipping one I didn’t like, or searching through the list to ensure the following tune was queued up in time. My head, which was supposed to be at peace, was on constant alert for the silly reason of guaranteeing an entertaining soundtrack to my exercise. My brain was forced to play conductor of this symphony, that failed to harmonise the body and mind. Again, a bit theatrical but bear with me. Very quickly, it became a chore to drag myself out of bed at daybreak. The workout wasn’t ….working out.

One day I decided to ditch the pop and opted for a podcast instead. There was a plethora of choices available to me, but I gravitated towards social commentary on life and everyday issues. Some podcasts that I enjoyed tuning in to were ones by Michael Knowles, Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh. They spoke on American politics, and social matters plaguing modern society. The channels were organised into headers with introductions which enabled the listener to get an idea of what they were going to hear. I picked thought-provoking topics that I thought relevant to my life. What a change indeed! My brain was finally unmuted and allowed to think! I found myself reflecting on the many topics discussed and horrified at some issues dissected. A few days of this new routine was enough to bring back the joy to this daytime recreation of mine, which allowed my body to relish in the energising movement and my brain to contently ponder along as well.

At times, when I didn’t feel like hearing about another worldly predicament, I would turn on reflection podcasts and listen to the musings on self-awareness and self-improvement. Fr. Mike Schmitz or Bishop Barron offered some great content on different struggles and conflicts one may go through as well as the Christian perspective on those dilemmas. I occasionally tuned in to Jordan Peterson to hear his ruminations on taking responsibility in life. To conclude the morning outing, I immersed myself in church hymns for the last 15 minutes on the way home. Hymns, though they involved music, differed from pop songs, because the lyrics were meaningful to me, and the tunes, timeless as I had grown up singing them for years. Between motivational talks, social discussions, hymns and religion, I had plenty to choose from. They were not all successes, however. For a time, I tried to listen to familiar prayers while on the walk but decided against it in the end because prayer required absolute concentration. This was not something I could spare as I crossed roads, dodged stray branches and avoided cat poop. Perhaps prayer was better said in the quiet of my room.

Well, this has been my routine since.

Overall, my mornings have taken a turn for the better. I have started waking up earlier, 6.30am, sometimes 6am to get longer walking sessions. On the physical front, Google fitness app has proved to be a useful companion to calculate the steps taken and distance covered. It helps me keep track of the calories I burn and step goal for the day through something called “heart points” (still don’t quite get that). Contrary to what some might think, far from being lethargic and fatigued in school later on, I feel quite the opposite. I feel that getting in some physical activity in the morning gives my heart and body a head start, so that by the time I go to school, we’re already pumping and geared up for a full day. Another positive outcome of this is that you are sufficiently tired at bedtime, which ensures a restful slumber at night.

To conclude, if you’ve been considering starting off with something non-stressful to add to your fitness routine, I highly recommend an early morning walk. There is no better time to be alone with your thoughts and prepare your body for the work that lies ahead in a leisurely yet energising manner. An amble a day, keeps the doctor away!

The Transfer Window

2021-02-18T21:42:00.001-08:00

Hello there reader, hope you are happy and content in life right now.

My school has just informed me that applications for transfer are now open. I like to refer to it as the great transfer window (yes like in EPL); a short space of time, during which you might be able to get a new placement. If you miss out, you have to wait till the next transfer window opens up.

I have been applying since 2017 to be transferred out of Johor back to Klang. I have been unsuccessful thus far.

The Misunderstanding ...

Do not get me wrong. Life in Kulai, Johor is not at fault here. In fact, it has been a blessing in so many ways. I am surrounded by lovely people who provide me with comfort and care. I belong to a school where I am able to get along with all my co-workers, have great superiors, and many opportunities to grow. I have never felt isolated by the community in my midst; whether professional or the church family. Even the room I rent is from a family I know from church. When I sit and reflect on all these positives, it seems absurd, almost ungrateful to want to give it all up, for a chance at the unknown. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, after all.

The Reason …

While I try to be grateful for all that I am blessed with, I also carry a small prayer; to eventually be able to work close to home, to have my family nearby and to be allowed to think of settling down closer to where I grew up. Some people yearn to spread their wings elsewhere, have adventures overseas and explore greener pastures of better opportunities. As much as I have thought about this alternative, for me, there is really no place like home. Cliché, as it sounds, it would give me so much joy to live out my coming years in the comfort of close family.

The Challenge…

Having said that, securing the golden ticket back to Klang is no easy task. Thousands of teachers all around Malaysia try to achieve the same outcome of being sent to the state of their choice. Those who take the normal route, try to alter their explanations for wanting a transfer each year. It helps your case if the justification is deemed good enough. There are even blogs sharing “popular excuses” to cite in your transfer papers, for a higher chance of success.

Others who have contact with people at higher levels might desperately try their luck at calling in a favour. This is called “using your cables”. I’ve heard rumours that people are willing to pay through their nose for a guaranteed green light. I assume the money is sucked down to the sewers of the country, a dark and slimy place that rarely gets cleaned out.

At the end of the day, the hundreds who are not successful, suck in a deep disappointed breath and carry on.

The Silver Lining…

The way I see it, I don’t even have the right to get upset. The reason is simple. Fate and purpose. These are two mysteries that we are simply not privileged to know or understand in our lifetime. While it isn’t wrong to ask for something, or pray for a desired outcome, please do so, understanding that things happen on a timeline that is very different from ours. Make preparations if you must, attend interviews, plan your years ahead but, *cliché alert* only when the time is right will things start to happen.

Every time I get the dreaded rejection notice, it reminds me that I still have an important purpose to serve here in Kulai. There may still be people to meet and affect, lessons to learn and experiences to live through. You may get impatient thinking you are ready for the next step. Newsflash, you’re staring at the wrong clock! Some say it is all written in the stars, but I like to believe that God has noticed you standing patiently in the queue, and so your moment will surely come. Take a step back, make plans for your future but don’t forget to live out your purpose in the present.

The End

Navigating the Seas of Educating Online

2021-02-16T19:14:00.000-08:00

As I write this, I am reminded of the fable I read as a child.

A father and son duo walk a new donkey home from the market. At first the people nearby comment that they are not making use of the donkey by allowing it to walk bare-backed and free. So, the son gets on the donkey. Soon the bystanders note how cruel he is to make his aged father hobble along. After that, they switch places and the father rides the animal instead. Soon the villagers begin to pity the young boy made to trudge on in the sun by his cruel father. In response to the remarks, the pair both sit on the animal’s back and go on their way. Alas, this happiness is short-lived as people turn their attention to the overworked donkey. Finally, in frustration, they tie the donkey’s legs, and carry it between the both of them. Lo and behold, people point out what fools they are for carrying the beast of burden instead of using it.

In the recent months, teaching and learning has seen tremendous shift. In the wake of the health pandemic, very abruptly, educators were forced to take teaching and learning wholly online. While we grappled with certain aspects of organisation in the beginning of the COVID-19 season, year 2021 saw us a little more prepared.

Schools devised timetables for online learning. New students were registered online and sorted into their classes. All information, speeches, introductory content had to be disseminated online via social media and communication apps like WhatsApp and Telegram. Teachers created groups or platforms for their subjects. These were separate from official Class Groups. Teachers were told that teaching had to be online and accessible by all students. We were ready.

Immediately, Google Meets or Zoom classes were scheduled. Three weeks in, and the attendance started to dwindle. There were complaints that Google Meet was difficult because there were not enough devices at home for all children to join at the same time. Understandable. A video conferencing session also took up a lot of data. Many homes did not have strong enough Wi-Fi connections, if at all, to cope with the demands of these live sessions. Yes, we know.

To cater to this, we reduced Google Meet sessions and added other forms of learning like quizzes and online worksheets with links that could be completed at any time. “Gamification” of learning is a buzzword of 21^st century learning. Students who completed quizzes and tasks scored points and topped leader boards. We are on the right track now, we thought.

This was soon criticised as a lazy form of teaching. In a scathing Facebook post, a user opined that schoolteachers were taking the easy way out. “Students cannot depend on links and quizzes half the time. Where is the teaching?” The sharing, that garnered a lot of online attention, urged teachers to take a leaf out of lecturers’ books and record video lessons to be shared with students instead. This, the writer stressed, was the best method of reaching all students and had been the practice of many in tertiary education.

Again, many teachers then scrambled to appease in response. Society was the judge with a gavel in its hands.

Deep down it bothered us that this “non-interactive, lecturing style” was recommended to educate school children. In university, mass lectures were the norm. However, this practice was heavily frowned upon in schools, where questions, re-explanations and two-way communication were encouraged instead. But we kept pandering. Lessons were recorded on platforms like YouTube. Videos were accompanied by slides from PowerPoint teaching grammatical structures and vocabulary.

Alas, parents soon began to grumble about the “lack of teacher guidance.” It seemed that this university-approved method was also deemed a short cut to actual teaching. “How can my child learn and ask questions to a video? Then, you expect her to do homework. Where is the teaching?” Concerned parents took to the class groups to share their frustrations.

Judge’s verdict: STILL GUILTY

If you feel slightly burnt out by February, you are not alone. Parallels to the father-son-donkey fable seem quite apparent now.

At the end of the day, I believe it is important to stand by the saying “there is no pleasing everyone.” As educators the best we can do is try to tailor our teaching to the students’ needs. While some may mix up their methods, others might prefer to utilise only one or two if their students can manage them. Taking into consideration different students' backgrounds and accessibility to the Internet, we may wish to decide what is best to get the lessons across.

THOUGHTS:

We were always headed in the direction of online technology in education, business, and many other sectors, but this pandemic has indeed accelerated that shift. Adapting is vital to moving forward.

Are first impressions of people always right?

2020-04-21T13:41:00.001-07:00

A first impression is often said to be a lasting one. To define the phrase, a first impression of someone is the immediate judgement of character or personality we often bestow upon people after initially encountering them. We often construct these opinions from the way a person carries themselves or through their opinions and speech. Whether at a formal job interview, or more laid back occasions like a party, it is hard to come away without forming a general view of another person. However, the perennial question of the social world is: are first impressions always right? In my opinion, while first impressions may sometimes correctly reflect the nature of a person, they are by no means a foolproof way of determining a person's characteristics. This is due to the factors of circumstance, time and nature of the initial meeting. Therefore, it is my belief that at times, first impressions can be grossly inaccurate.

An assessment of someone’s demeanor can prove to be erroneous based on the circumstance that the meeting takes place. I recall meeting a young man at a social gathering and thinking him to be extremely dull, rather morose and lacking a sense of humor. As I callously aired my views, I found out that he had in fact lost his grandmother to cancer the week before and was probably in no mood for cheerful banter that night. People often act, respond and express themselves reflecting the situation they are in. For example, someone who has just been laid off their job may not be in the most optimistic mood if you struck up conversation on the train. Likewise, if you have had a long, strenuous day at work, it might be an uphill task to muster your usual bubbly smile to the lady on the bus ride home. In fact, to her you are in danger of seeming cold, curt and uninterested. Therefore, while first impressions can’t be avoided, circumstances of the meeting often prove our judgements to be false.

In addition, we may fail at correctly determining a person’s persona when the time we have spent together does not suffice. In this crime thriller analogy, the villain places a threatening call to investigators and they immediately activate call tracing. However, there is a catch. This high-tech device requires the call to be ongoing for at least 30 seconds before it can accurately judge the location of the caller. Similarly, in social situations, if our appraisal of a person is made within too short a time frame, it may prove to be misleading in the end. An example of this is knocking into someone at the supermarket. While they may offer to help you pick up groceries scattered around you within the next 30 seconds, it hardly guarantees a benevolent, selfless heart which you may be inclined to believe of them. Undeniably the plotline in many romantic comedies, it can hardly be a course to emulate in real life. In short, first impressions if made in a short space of time often can lead to an oversight in preliminary character analysis.

Finally, the nature of a meeting can always render a first impression useless. To elaborate, people are often their sincerest selves in informal settings with low social pressure. While people can be trained to present themselves in a certain way at a formal job interview or meeting, it may not be reflective of their real attributes or shortcomings. To illustrate the point, at an interview for a managerial post, a candidate might falsely relate an impressive experience to appear proactive and able to take charge and conveniently leave out the fact that he was merely following the orders of a superior. In this scenario, the interviewer is forced to form an impression in order to make an important decision for the company without the benefit of knowing the speaker’s background. Hence, this shows that although first impressions are unavoidable, they may not be a projection of a person’s actual disposition.

In conclusion, it is hard to argue a case for the accuracy of a first impression. There are many factors that affect an impression you create for yourself, whether it is the circumstance you are in, the length or the nature of the interaction. Due to these aspects, the inevitable truth is that not all first impressions are right.

How my Health has been affected by the MCO 2020

2020-04-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

Hello reader, hope your hair isn't falling about all over the floor. It isn't? great! I'd like to record how certain aspects of my health have been affected since the Movement Control Order (MCO), so if you're here for it, read on.

In terms of weight, I don't think I've gained much during the MCO just because every day it's the basic three meals (sometimes breakfast blends into lunch) plus a tea time snack. No one is really buying things to snack on throughout the day like crisps or anything apart from the occasional KitKat or payasam (ready made mix).

I realise I was more prone to piling on the kilos while working because food was everywhere; at work (staffroom snacks) or very easily available in restaurants or food stalls in the area. With the restricted movement order now, we mostly eat what we cook, and if no one cooks, food is ordered specifically for meal times. Hence, it doesn't allow for excess consumption or over eating. That is a plus.

As for activity, any regular physical movement of any kind has significantly reduced. I say regular because, occasional cleaning and cooking forces you to break a sweat, but this is not sustained or constant and I'm sure some physical changes like the rapid development of a flabby tummy is a result of this. At the moment, there has not been any motivation to improve on the exercise management. Will work on that.

My skin is in a rather new predicament that I'm trying to resolve. Recently, (after a change in facial products) I experienced some good skin and enjoyed it for about 3 weeks until I came home to find myself breaking out in painful red acne all over my T-zone. I tried to maintain the product-use, but realised quickly that there had to be another factor making it worse. At first I thought it was the water. However, none of my other family members seemed to be suffering facial issues. Next, I thought it was a symptom of PMS, but my face never quite cleared up when it should have. Earlier today, I remembered, that I had been a vegetarian (90% of the time) before coming home, and since being in Klang I have basically become a meat eater again.

I am not 100% sure that this acne is a consequence of the abrupt change in diet, but since I'm eliminating factors, I've decided to get back on the vege-friendly menus with the hope that it will improve. Wish me luck.

Water drinking is also upsettingly irregular. There are days when I make my personal goal of 2 litres and others when I end up cramming my water intake late at night just to make the quota and I'm sure it doesn't quite work that way. As a result, I've been suffering from incredibly dry and peeling (at times bleeding) lips. As an immediate remedy I've resorted to applying a delicious coconut oil lip balm over them to prevent myself from constantly biting at them (as strange as this sounds)

Well, that's about it folks. Thanks for reading. May or may not do a part 2 to let you know if anything changes.

April 2020

2020-04-04T12:51:00.002-07:00

Hello everyone, I'm still writing from the comfortable confines of home.

The Movement Restriction order (MCO) has been extended to the 14th of April, and may be prolonged as the peak hit of the Virus outbreak is predicted to happen in the next two weeks. As I am able to stay safe and well fed during this time, I'm also forced to think about those to whom home is not a safe place and those who cannot afford not to be working or those who have no proper homes to shelter themselves. The government has given out aid in the form of money to individuals who fit certain criteria (see pics) and while this was met with joy by some, other parties, particularly business owners who were above the income category but faced zero revenue during the MCO, and could not afford to pay their employees were not too thrilled by the latest gov announcement. I believe there are some strategic plans available to provide some assistance to struggling businesses, however I am unable to explain them in detail. Here are the posters for the aid provided for the masses.

On a more personal scale, I have been spending a lot of quality time at home. I stress on the word quality because I feel that within this period, I have acquired new knowledge, and had meaningful conversations with my family members and just been more present in everything that I did. I'm glad to be participating in the family routines like helping to cook or to clean or do the grocery shopping. Bear in mind, I don't do these things like clockwork every day. It's normally motivated by a crazy plan to try a new recipe or buy necessary ingredients for said recipe. We have sat down as a family to play board games and have much needed family times. It's not always smiles and laughter though. Weeks of being cooped up together also mean that there is a higher risk of getting annoyed or riled up at little things...familiarity busy breeding contempt and all that. Here are some of the experimental dishes that I've tried so far.

Ayam masak lemak cili api. Was creamy enough but lacked the chillie factor

Random rasam. It's an easy dish to make if you throw in the right ingredients.

A random potato and brinjal thingy. I'm sure there was a recipe involved, but I remember it turning out to be too mushy.

My taugeh (sprouts) that were lanky and greening. We made a really crunchy green vege dish out of it.

Terung sambal that was wayyyyy to oily and not spicy enough. But it was alright.

Wanted to try the Dalgona Coffee challenge. It was yummy but just not worth the trouble honestly.

thairu, cucumbers, onions and chillies to complement a spicy chicken curry cooked by mum

A chicken recipe that I had gotten from somewhere. The chicken was really tender, and fresh. It was good.

An attempt at cakoi. It was not as airy or salty as I would have liked so we sprinkled on cinnamon and sugar to convert into a random fried doughy desert.

First attempt at thosai. Used a ready made mix. With a proper non stick pan, I think we'd have seen better results.

Loved this tomato chutney recipe. No coconut was required! and it tasted so good in my opinion.

We managed to eat together (all seven of us) video calling Marlene too.

Loved learning how to make bread and experimenting with the types of flour and kneading time. Hot bread is always delicious though

Pat joined us for some board games as a family

In Money matters, the MCO has reduced mindless spending by A LOT (for me). I have ceased scrolling through online shopping sites like Lazada, Shopee and Zalora. I feel like I haven't spent much on anything unnecessary since coming home. Petrol is so cheap but we haven't been travelling much anyway. Looking at the way the economy is suffering (very basic knowledge of this), I've read a few financial bloggers who have predicted a huge economic crash that will affect our lives if we don't start saving up now, which includes NOT falling for the "sales" from websites encouraging us to splurge. CONTROL YOURSELF!

Well, that's all from me folks. If you've stayed this far, congratulations, you're probably 1 of 5 people that have. Have a great day.

March 2020

2020-03-16T23:26:00.001-07:00

Lots of things have happened since February. Among them, the successful completion of my reading another book! Anakara House by Matthew Thomas is a very real, at times witty tale spanning (but not dragging) three generations of one family revolving around a centerpiece of the family house in India. I felt myself seeing and understanding the characters age and lose power, focus, memory and sanity as the novel progressed and as events unfolded. That was a good read! Accompanied of course with some tea, unending supply of biscuits and the empty dining table (marking was kept aside)

The other bit of news that has shaken up Malaysia and the world, is just how serious the CoVid 19 has become. It was declared a pandemic in the beginning of March by the WHO, this was followed by a spate of panic buying in supermarkets and shops all around the world. Malaysia has just announce a restricted movement order (not a LOCKDOWN) effective on the 18 - 31 March. This will affect a lot of companies whose staff will not be able to go to work. Schools and all learning institutions will also be closed. This means all of us who are already on break will get an extended stay away from work. Everyone is advised to stay at home as much as possible to prevent the spread of the virus. Everyone suspected of being ill with the virus are not advised to go to the hospitals, rather to self quarantine or get the hospitals to check you at your home. QUARANTINE being the keyword here, a lot of people are rushing back to their hometowns now that the restriction of movement has been imposed. THIS IS NOT ADVISABLE as people are putting themselves back into the pool of hot soup that is the germ and virus hub of public transportation.

Anyway, I'm typing this from home in Klang and putting here for record purposes. The holidays have been extended another week and that's a small cause for celebration but it's for the best and hopefully we see a slowing down in the number of cases and spread.

That's all from me. Time to enjoy quiet tea time with my family.

February 2020

2020-02-09T05:48:00.003-08:00

Hello reader.

I'm really forcing myself to get something out here, so bear with the dull posts.

The dreaded sports day is over, and calm has once again descended upon us. I have learnt that we should really maximize these weeks that are event-free and get up to date with marking, lesson planning and everything that was put on hold. In my case, marking, lesson planning, thinking was put on a giant PAUSE during sports week. So now the engines are warming up again. All caught up on lesson plans, and slowly but surely decreasing the marking load.

I'm also trying out a pen pal writing project between two of my classes. Just two for starters. The way I've planned it, is to add in the element of suspense by making them write anonymously or under a fake name so that they enjoy the replies for the content itself, instead of the person behind the paper. Some might not be keen knowing the person they are writing to is of the opposite sex, which might influence their eagerness to write. Therefore, I started with my form one class telling them not to reveal their gender (although this is guessable from the content) or their names. I hope to have a correspondence for at least a month before it comes to an end. Perhaps this can be a study of sorts. the benefits of corresponding with a friend rather than a teacher. Of course with the content monitored. I believe that if students know that their notes are actually being read by an unknown other person who will reply them, they will see context and purpose to their writing. As a result, it will increase their motivation to write. Here are some pics of what the kids wrote.

I have another song-expression project that I want to try out with my 2 Cenderawasih, but until I pick the best song and actually start it, I'm not going to jinx it by describing it here. It's fun in my head, but yeah, normally that changes as we try to realise the idea. Soon!

It's raining outside and the weather today can best be described as cosy-gloomy. In other words, perfect.

Till the next time! Cheers.

January 2020

2020-02-01T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hello reader,

Happy New Year and if you're a teacher, good luck making the transition on the white board from 2019 to 2020.

Right, January is over, and I'm already struggling with lesson plans. LOL. My little joys in life include keeping track of how many leaves my plant has grown. Current count, 14! Apart from that, I have downloaded a pretty good version of taboo game on my phone. Can't wait to force my students to play! I've recently included a lot of my favourite game apps in class. Taboo!, Guess Up!, Charades and HeadsUp! I normally play them during the final 10 minutes, and the kids seem to like them, so that stays.

Its the beginning of sports season here, and I hate the drama that comes along with it. In my current school, teachers really have to take charge of all aspects, including deco and the march-past and athletes. I distinctly remember in high school, decorating the mascot and members ourselves as students. But here, the teachers do everything, from A to Z, which leaves a lot to get stressed about. In Convent Klang, we were extremely independent, and I believe it came because we were entrusted with certain responsibilities. Here, it really is on the teacher's shoulders. It almost becomes a competition between teachers, rather than students. Likewise, we are accountable if our deco lacks a certain WOW factor.

After all it is the kids sports day. They should be battling it out on the track as well as taking pride in the creativity of their house members. This calls for some change. This exact same thing for classroom DECO too! These days its all about how much you're willing to spend as a teacher, to get your class to be the most colourful. Again, in Convent, us girls did everything! From the duty roster, to the time table, to all the essential subject information on notice boards.

What else has happened? Chinese New year break has ended, but fire crackers haven't LOL. We're having our school CNY celebration next week, and I'm supposed to sing a verse of the Gong Xi Gong Xi song. Agreed to share the mike with a student instead.

I really like the classes I teach. The kids are all growing on me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think that about wraps up January. All 5 weeks of it. Hello FEB!

A Load of Hot Air

2019-05-24T23:49:00.003-07:00

A Load of Hot Air

Latihan Dalam Perkhidmatan or LDP for short, translates to in-service training. In Malaysian schools, this form of training is often held throughout the year and can span various topics from coverage of latest changes in the curriculum, classroom management and teaching, to online data input workshops. Whatever the subject matter is, it pertains to our careers as educators and the aspired improvement of quality of the teaching service. It is compulsory for all teachers to attend, as this too is keyed into the system in the form of “hours clocked”.

That being said, there is a disturbingly increasing number of instances, whereby LDP is used as a platform for salesmen to peddle their wares. A friend lamented that the teaching staff of his school was made to attend an LDP slot that turned out to be a sales pitch for LCD projectors. Another former course mate recounted a compulsory “yoga session” in which teachers listened to how yoga could improve overall wellness and were then sold an exotic cream to apply on “unruly children” to calm them down.

One such “training” session was organised in my school. Announcement of this LDP was met with the usual groans because it meant arriving in school two hours earlier than usual. As we all took our places in the computer lab, brightly coloured brochures sat on each table signalling a clue to the mysterious training we were about to undergo. On the front, was a collage of articles related to obesity and diabetes in Malaysia. There were numerous statistics and findings that highlighted the country’s war against the dreaded disease. I immediately cheered as this was clearly going to be a much needed health-related talk. Looking up, expecting to see a healthcare professional or nutritionist, I was surprised to note that the speaker, simply dressed, was lugging something that resembled a vacuum cleaner.

He greeted everyone warmly and apologised for taking up our time. The introduction, much like the brochures in front of us, cited the scary reality of Malaysia’s plight against obesity and love for all things sweet. A few teachers shifted in their seats uncomfortably at the mention of this. There was laughter in his voice as he chided us, and revealed that although hard to reverse, diabetes could certainly be managed through proper exercise and weight loss. I listened intently, excited to see how he would make use of the vacuum cleaner, perhaps as some sort of cool analogy or demonstration tool. My patience was soon rewarded.

We soon entered into the topic of saunas. Our esteemed speaker became increasingly animated as he praised the thermal therapy as a form of treatment for weight loss (gasp) and, apparently all ailments under the sun. He unboxed his contraption which turned out to be a steam producing machine. He waved it around and flicked it on. There were oohs and aahs as a stream of hot mist jetted out. Here’s the gist of his sharing. Post-partum weight gain? Steam your belly! He demonstrated this, directing the nozzle at his own abdomen. No time to jog? No worries. Steam yourself for half an hour daily and see results! He sat on a chair, brought out what looked like a small tent and held the steamer inside. Your own personalised sauna. Along with your perspiration, dissolved fat would also be released through the pores. I stared at my colleague, mouth gaping, aghast, horrified. What had we walked into? Spewing some pseudo-scientific details, it quickly dawned on me that this person was nothing but a salesman. What were the words to the old haunting nursery rhyme? This old man, he played one, played us all out just for fun…

Not able to take it anymore, I stood up and as nicely as possible, quoted a doctor friend who had criticised the myth of visiting steam rooms as a legitimate way to shed the pounds. I slowly explained the logic behind the drop in pounds – just the body losing water weight.

Quickly realising that I wasn’t a fan, he interrupted me and hurriedly reassured his audience that doctors too made mistakes and were only human after all. He then launched into the cost aspect of this magical device. Teachers in our fortunate school were given a fantastic discount and instalment plan to ease our financial burdens. Obviously an old hand at playing the emotional card, he concluded his pitch by disclosing that he spent nearly every penny he had developing this machine, and wouldn’t have done so if he hadn't not put absolute faith in it.

I believe I burnt more calories listening to the hogwash than I ever would in a sauna. Although I do believe that you have every right to market your goods, there is a time and place for everything. School administrations should really pay closer attention to the people, quality and content of in-service training sessions. Failing to do so, not only wastes teachers’ precious time, but also paints a deceiving picture about what a meaningful intellectual discussion looks like. Its sad that teachers are the unwilling victims herded into these traps in the name of duty and obligation.

Unpopular opinion: Teachers don't want mugs and flowers.

2019-04-29T08:49:00.003-07:00

Hello reader! How are you doing? If you are in the teaching profession, well it's that time of the year again....soon Gifts galore! Woohoo. If you're not a teacher, this post must seem a little odd, but read on anyway. You've come this far.

I've made a list, checked it twice
Here are the things that are truly nice.

1. PENS AND MARKERS

Can't get enough of them. Literally. You cannot imagine how many red pens a teacher goes through each year. We ask ourselves, why are pens so short, they should be able to hold more red stuff in them. Let's be real, half our pens are dedicated to students who bring ZERO Stationery to school. "Pen ille teacherrrr" " Teacher ade pen tak? pen saye hilang la"" Lao Shi, wo mei you bi".

Help us Help you.

Send pen contributions to SMK Indahpura (1), Kulai, Johor. =) God bless.

2. PAPER

I cannot tell you how appreciative we would be if people just dropped us a ream or two of these babies.Why do we need paper you ask? Glad you did..its for worksheets and forms and letters, certificates, namelists, exam papers, modules, answer booklets, the list goes on....

ops...Let's be real again, half of these are made into paper planes and flown from third floor balconies. So in support of higher floor plane throwing, HELP US HELP YOU.

~~3. MUGS!~~ kidding ...not mugs. Don't get mugs. or those little trophies or medals that say BEST TEACHER EVER.

We don't exactly react this way.

4. flowers....kidding again...no I'm not. ....yes I am ...kidding . Definitely no flowers.

5. CHOCOLATES

Any chocolate is appealing to teachers. It doesn't have to be Ferrero Rocher *What? who said that?* We'll take anything! Kit kat? Snicker bar! Choki Choki is the best!!!! God knows we'll need it the next day when school resumes. Who am I kidding? Everything shall be consumed upon arrival home that evening.

6. Can you give us....the day off?

Jokes...sigh...my my these requests are getting a bit out of hand.

Well then I must end it here.
If you skipped everything, here's what you need to remember.

STATIONERY and CHOCOLATE. Nothing else matters......as much

The Name Game

2018-10-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

There is power in a name. It’s the reason the fairy-tale goblin, Rumpelstiltskin lorded over the King and Queen. No one ever bothered to find out his.

My dad always insisted on finding out and remembering people’s names. He would write them down or recall them by association to something else – whatever it took to register their identity in his brain.

While most people think the definition of popularity is if your name is well-known, dad always believed you were actually disadvantaged if the person in front of you remained a stranger. I had found this theory to be very interesting, amusing even, until I became a teacher, of course and suddenly everything rang true.

As a teacher, one teaches and communicates with at least 200 human beings daily. In a school lacking academic staff, you can always expect to take over a class if a teacher is sick or away for a meeting. This is called a relief period. It is anything but relief. I especially dread relieving a class that I do not already teach. Most teachers would agree. The reason is simple. You don’t know them, and therefore in the words of the possessed King Theoden from “The Lord of the Rings”, “you have no power here.”

Can you imagine trying to call out a misbehaving student, and only having to resort to “Boy!” or “Girl!” or worse, “Eh!” If you don’t know them, you are deemed powerless, and as a result will be ignored. On the other hand, a teacher who can correctly identify everyone she is speaking to will notice very different reactions.

I have seen the shock on some students’ faces, when they hear their names being called, especially by a teacher who doesn’t teach them. “Kenapa, cikgu tahu nama saya?” (how is it possible you know my name?) they say, belatedly covering their nametags. I have noticed the baffled expressions on students playing truant as I yell out their names down the corridor. “She knows my name” “How?” they breathe, in horrified whispers to the other miscreants in the group.

Trust me when I say there is power in a name. Power to freeze a student in the midst of mischief. Power to stop an argument before the first punch is thrown. But above all, knowing a student’s name allows you to lay the foundations for mutual respect.

Apart from the authoritative aspects of being able to identify your students, there are benefits that run so much deeper than forced obedience. One of which, is allowing yourself to truly see your students. Using their name effectively removes the invisibility cloak around a pupil. By conveying the message, “I know and see you”, they can begin to crawl out of the “wallpaper”. This invitation to be “present” in class, can effect a world of change in a student. Students feel like you want to understand them, want to relate to them and they will confide in you.

Some teachers can go months without bothering to find out this simplest piece of information, only to later complain about “what’s-her-name’s” attitude.

My advice, if you take over an unfamiliar class, walk around and log their names in. Even if you forget it later, taking time to break the ice is effective in winning them over. Be the “busy-body” teacher that wants to know everything. When you see students in the corridor, greet them by name even if they don’t do it first. There is no way that that can end badly. Put your ready-stock teacher ego aside and try it. Outcome 1: The student greets you back and subsequently always greets you. Outcome 2: Student is startled and smiles. Outcome 3: Student ignores you (highly unlikely).

In conclusion, for a better relationship with students, and an overall more rewarding experience, reap the benefits that come together with knowing this fundamental piece of information. A name.

DEAD INSIDE

2018-04-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

I am dead inside. A hollow shell of nothing.

Self belief has abandoned me, self confidence has departed. Inspiration, motivation and patience are simply words. They don’t exist. Not in me.

I died at around 3.50 pm today. In 1 Merpati.

::Arriving is like entering a warzone.

Wei Xiang lies flat on the ground at the entrance shouting vulgarities in Mandarin while thumping his chest.

Stepping over him carefully, ignoring this bid for attention, I address the rest who were trying to slip out.

“Satiswaran, inside, now.”

“ Shyh Ting, masuk” . She mouthes “toilet” .“ No. I will let you out later. Get in first”

“Shun Xin, Jeremy, enough, come in”

Suddenly Wei Xiang jumps up from the floor and roars at Paakya from the class next door who had accidentally touched his huge log of a leg, in a bid to escape her own class.

Taking this as a clear form of attack, Wei Xiang rose to the challenge. Literally.

It is what he wants from the beginning, for someone to make the mistake of touching him. He wants this fight, he is ready for it. Like a heaving, clumsy giant he begins verbally slamming her with foul language and obscene gestures. Seeing the rage he flew in, you would think she had murdered his family. Bewildered and not understanding what has just happened, Pakyaa looks at him as if he is mad and hurries off, to play truant elsewhere.

My voice is so out of place, even I can’t hear it. As I physically try but fail to drag Wei Xiang by his humungous arms, out of nowhere, knowing absolutely nothing, Hui Ying storms out of the class, her heavy thuds heard a mile away. BoOM BOOM boOm...She too starts yelling at Pakyaa, screaming at her to get out! Get LOST! Go and Die!

I am just as confused as you are, Reader.

Her screams bring other curious teachers out of their classes. I turn my attention to Hui Ying now, and try to usher her in the class. If ever I thought I was strong, I was wrong. I am small and puny beside her. Physically pathetic and powerless beside this gargantuan girl, I barely budge her heavily perspiring body.

Her expression suddenly goes blank as if a light bulb goes off and she stomps back into class. Episode over.

I follow her in.

Wei Xiang riding on his anger trip just now, feels he can do no wrong and charges about the class, ignoring my “teacher voice” telling him to take a seat. Finally I raise my voice and yell his name! This too is ignored.

I shrink inside. What else have I got?

Like an animal on the loose, he darts around, body still pumped with energy and playfully punches Shun Xin on the arm. Shun Xin shoots up and chases him halfway around the class. Mandarin vulgarities are being fired across the classroom.

As I stare in horror at this scene unfolding, Hui Ying, Rohaizat, Shyh Ting have all come up to me waving their passes, asking to go to the toilet. NO. NO. NO. Not now. I haven’t even started teaching.

Sit down.

They trudge back, muttering.

Ignoring the two boys chasing each other I try to get my class to focus.

“Text books, page 21”

I repeat this 10 times, in Malay and English, till everyone who has a book has it opened to the right page.

THWACKKKK

OWWWW!

Syafiq has twirled his scarf into a long thin whip and cracked it on Hamdan’s chest.

Right in front of me.

Hamdan snatches the bandana out of the offender’s hands and begins to furiously twirl it, his eyes ablaze with vengeance. Before he exacts his revenge, I demand for the weapon to be surrendered.

Syafiq begins to protest, as he is the owner of the offensive rag, and fears he will never see it again. As if I want to hold on to his sweaty, germy disgusting piece of fabric longer than 30 seconds.

30 seconds.

A lot can happen in 30 seconds.

1 Merpati has taught me that.

Pakyaa, tired of gallivanting decides to pop by and yell for Logasunthari.

I don’t know where I am anymore. My other rational senses are shutting down, and an insane rage is bubbling, boiling...

“GET OUT!!!” I thunder.

“Cikgu H panggil Loga” she replies “Cikgu mahu jumpa dia”

I walk to the door, and lower my voice to a whisper, “Cikgu can call me if she wants to see anybody. And if you are lying to me, I will make sure I wipe that smile off your face.” I am not sure how much of this is understood, because Pakyaa is still standing there grinning at me.

Out of the blue, a pen whizzes by my ears, aimed straight at Pakyaa, who manages to dodge it.

I know who threw it. But I ask anyway, looking carefully at Wei Xiang who is suddenly immensely interested in his textbook.

Luckily he has enough classmates who detest him, and Hui Hui gives him away

“Wei Xiang, teacher!”

Wei Xiang, now revisits his anger and begins his loud abuses, egging Jeremy and Shun Xin to do the same. Afifah and Balqis join in, cursing at Pakyaa to leave.

I successfully get rid of Pakyaa and shoo her back to class.

Page 21 seems so far away.

I begin reading. We have a choral reading session.

Choral reading: Frowned upon in the teaching community as a pointless activity that should be stopped.

Choral reading doesn’t help students to read.

There’s no way of monitoring their pronunciation.

How are they supposed to improve?

I don’t know. I don’t care.

They read.

And repeat

And read

And repeat.

And read

And repeat

And my heart beat relaxes a little.

We finish 2 sentences.

TWO amazing sentences before the bell rings.

"Thank you class.”

“Have a nice day.”

Jesus Christ, where is my motivation and passion? What has happened to my prayers of being a mentor and guide and loving teacher? How is it possible that I felt like murdering at least 5 students today? Jesus Christ, what are these kids going through in their lives that they act this way? How can I teach with such hate? Am I such a lousy teacher that they do not respect me? Where is my inspirational teacher movie moment? Am I cut out to be a teacher? I think not. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Bubble and Squeak!

2018-01-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

(Fiction)

It all began one cold and wet Thursday afternoon. The rain beat down mercilessly on our roof and I pulled my comforter tighter around myself. I was engrossed in the tab I held in my left hand. It was simply marvellous how every fact I ever wanted to know was quite literally at the tips of my fingers. "Tap" "tap" "tap" my index scurried, a master at the task, unveiling pages upon pages of information that would satisfy but never satiate my hunger for more. Who needed human interaction when the screen gave you its undivided attention? Yes, I could do without silly coffee shop gossip and mindless chatter about the weather. God, humans bored me sometimes. "Click" "click" "click" better Google who else thought the same.

Anyway, I digress. I was quite obviously enjoying the peace and serenity of cyberspace, when it was rudely interrupted by a loud holler from downstairs. I had lived here long enough to know that it came from my brother. The only time he ever hollered was ... never ...he never hollered, so naturally my curiosity was piqued. Putting down my tablet, albeit reluctantly, I zipped down the stairs, skipping two at a time (a talent proudly acquired by the age of 7).

Turns out, all the hullabaloo was due to a cute little mouse that had found its way into and was snuggled up inside a little blue plastic pail I had outside. You should have seen it. Totally insta-worthy. Its soft brown furry body lay peacefully asleep, as its cute pink squiggly tail curled around it. Its soft little whiskers twitched as if it was having a cute little nightmare. I know what you're thinking; total keeper right?

Wrong.

Dad hated rats, and this filthy, disease riddled little sewer rodent, looking for a lazy snooze, certainly wouldn't be an exception.

A horrendous mental image flashed through my mind.

Dad had a way of dealing with rats.

First, rather solemnly, he boiled a kettle of water. When it whistled, signalling the end (in many ways), he would slowly arise from the depths of the cushions. His face expressionless, but mouth set in a line that was both grim and triumphant. (How??)

He carried the vessel outside almost ceremoniously and as if administering a cruel but just punishment, he would bathe the offending rat or shrew, effectively scalding them to death. During this unholy baptism at the boil, he always insisted that I witness the victim's “beady little eyes begging for mercy” for a few agonising minutes. Perhaps he harboured the crazy hope that I would morph into a stone cold rodent assassin in the future. Me? Never.

A terrified squeak snapped me back to the present. I glanced down at the very same beady eyes, pleading clemency. No, I decided, with a burst of furious determination. Dad would not get to bless this little guy with scalding showers. Not if I could help it.

I marched into the house to get my all purpose gloves and snapped them on professionally the way I imagined a surgeon or dentist would do. Grabbing a can of mosquito repellent, from the kitchen cabinet, I exited the house. I have no idea what possessed me to think this was a better way to go. I assumed the furball would simply get drowsy and fall into a Forever Slumber. So I shot jets of the product into the bucket willing my four legged friend to get dizzy.

Instead, it seemed to fight to stay awake. Go to sleep, damn it! I thought frantically. It bore its fangs and seemed to spit at me, as if to say “eff you, human scum!” Now this, I did not expect. How dare he? Deeply affronted, I felt my self losing patience. If that’s the way you want to play, we’ll go for a little swim won’t we?

“Bring the hose!” I barked to my brother

My brother, bless his soul, had by that time turned into an unwilling accomplice who gaped in muted horror at the abomination before his eyes. I don’t think he expected me to be capable of such emotion. If I’m being honest, neither did I.

Aiming the hose into the bucket, I caught sight of my brother fidgeting in clear discomfort, darting glances at the inviting respite of the hall.

“Watch” I commanded, adopting a military tone, not unlike my father's.

As the bucket filled with the cold clear liquid, our fur ball registered this new threat. The more it tried to claw its way out, the further it fell into the deep blue (of the blue bucket). After about 15 minutes, still burning with absurd hatred for this animal, I forced it under with a broomstick. I did this a few times, and only stopped when I recalled scenes of torture from TV that involved dunking a man’s head under water. Only a monster would do that. Me? Never.

But by then, physically exhausted from its frenetic struggles earlier, it soon succumbed and listlessly paddled around before going absolutely still. And with a bubble and a final squeak (see title) , I had sent him to his watery grave. I dropped the hose, turned around and walked inside, leaving my appalled brother to clean up so we could resume life as normal.

Dad would have been proud. Okay, maybe not. He would have commented on the highly inefficient proceedings. Throwing away a bucket, wasting insect repellent, and of course a load of water.

Killers are not born, they are made.

I made the mistake of telling my loony (but hot) girlfriend about it, and she has run off to write a story, and will probably get most of the facts wrong! I’ve got rat’s blood on my hands for life! Time to let off some steam with some Dota. Peace out!

Exam Season

2017-10-25T11:46:00.002-07:00

Invigilating 1 Belatuk is like hosting a twisted talent competition.

I Belatuk sat for their history paper today, and had to contain their otherwise relentless energy to conform to the numbing silence of the exam atmosphere. Under these dreary circumstances, they still showed tremendous effort to entertain and put up a great show. Bless them.

s A: *makes whistling sound through his teeth to the crippled tune of "baby shark doo doo"
me: Viknes! ....
s A: Oh!hiiii *waves*

s B : Rocks his chair so far back that his head lands on table behind. knocks his head on that table.
me: Sharen! Stop that *through gritted teeth*
s B: *does a Tamil movie-star salute* (ask me for a demonstration anytime)

s C: pulls up t-shirt over his head to form a tudung, rocks back and forth and stares at me....blinking

SUDDEN THOUGHT!: Oh God, they're taking turns!
Nope, NOT this time. I will NOT react.

s C : *starts singing a Malay song and wraps t-shirt-tudung tighter around his head.
me: Norman!! Sleep! Now!
s C: Sorry teacher.

-eerie scraping sound begins-

me *what now? searches wildly around the room.

s D: Using a pair of scissors to carve up the notice boards on the side. making a bloody mess of confetti.
me: Chuan Sze...what is wrong with your head. (mental note: make him clean it up, without a broom)
s D : *stops for a blessed second*

s E: seeing all the drama, decides to stretch and make a loud BURRRRPP sound. (then says oops and acts like it was a mistake)
*class giggles madly*

s F: has been suspiciously quiet all the while *decides this is the best time to test his catapult (ruler over three erasers to launch little paper balls, one of which hits the teeth whistler on the forhead) *SMACKK*

s A: Hoi! Cikgu kacau cikgu...*throws paper back* misses *hits tudung boy* who jumps and shrieks because he scares easily.

Teeth whistler, truly an accomplished musician, begins with a round of percussion. *plays imaginary tabla under his desk* -war drums in the Blackboard Jungle.

*class erupts* "WE ARE ENTERTAINED," their eyes scream, because their mouths can't

Some who were blissfully asleep, stir from their slumber.

No no nooooooo...

me: Suppresses aggressive language with Herculean effort.
"One more word, and you all go for recess late.

That's it. Silence. Recess always wins.

Encore! Encore!

Vulnerability

2017-09-08T01:23:00.001-07:00

Currently listening to: Bravado by Lorde.

I can’t identify what it is that makes me nervous. Perhaps this is why I don’t travel anywhere alone. The idea of solo travel is a romantic one but I know the minute I get off the plane, I would regret going. Who would help me? Who would I talk to when I’m not exploring amazing architecture. Who would I eat with? Strangers? You mean I have to *shudder* socialise? I want to shake off those shudders and approach strangers to ask for help without feeling judged, stupid, pitiful, lost and beyond help. I want to get over that feeling of hopelessness in unfamiliar territory.

I sometimes imagine myself exploring unknown places, foreign lands without a plan or care in the world, but then I realise I’m just replaying a scene from a random movie or travel programme, where the hero always bumps into someone willing to take them around to explore the colourful street life of Vietnam, Thailand, the Philippines.

I digress. I realise I fear being vulnerable, being in a position where I have to admit I am lost, in order to get help. I fear new train ticket machines because using them entails putting yourself in a clueless position to ask for instructions. I fear getting on a plane because it involves checking in and boarding and a hundred other terms I’ve read about but never experienced.

I fear the unknown.

2017-08-12T18:51:00.001-07:00

HEARTBREAK
Breathe in.Your chest experiences a sudden tightness as if it's making a last desperate attempt to stick a band aid on and hold itself together. Breathe out. The band aid snaps off. Shocked/angry/hurt/embarrassed tears well up, which you will furiously blink back because they who hurt you cannot know it. Your fists curl up, not to punch a wall, or pound a table but just to contain the trembles. Truth is, you don't know how to react. There's always a first time.

TEACHER HEARTBREAK. So I know the picture seems trivial enough, (not to mention badly drawn) but this is one of many teeny tiny heartbreaks that happen along the way. It's easier to post the funny faces but it's not always a Mary poppins kinda day, I'm afraid.

Here's to teachers everywhere who breathe in, breathe out and move on! 💝💝💝

OKAY, kids, copy this down!

2017-08-12T17:50:00.001-07:00

Me unintentionally starting a dialogue on coffee...again.

A week after the holidays

2017-08-12T17:48:00.001-07:00

Unflattering Candids

2017-08-12T17:43:00.001-07:00

This look is called "Sigh.Not againn" When I try to explain the words "DESperate" "DESpite" or "DEStination" or "DEScribe" and you shout "DESPACITOOO", I'm not paid enough to laugh, kid.

The look I'm wearing: "Mildly annoyed" with a touch of "Smelt something bad".

One of my go-to facial expressions when 30 sweaty buffaloes charge in 10 minutes late after an hour of football and start congregating under the fans, making loud tired sighs, asking for a further 10 minute break..when here I am with my roll of mahjong papers ready to go!

Some days we see marvellous things

2017-08-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

My eyes must be deceiving me. Peralihan students NOT running around? NOT SPLASHING WATER on each other? Instead, READING? QUIETLY?
Respect to the comic book writers who have these kids so captivated that they are so effectively out of mischief.

Subtle Racism in the Malaysian Classroom

2017-03-11T09:18:00.002-08:00

Hello reader hope you're conquering mountains this weekend.. Literal or figurative!

A while ago, R.A.G.E posted a video about how racism was rampant in the property market, and I was suddenly reminded of how teachers shoulder such an enormous role in shaping human beings of tomorrow. Everything we complain about in the attitude of grownup Malaysians today are traits that were not checked or corrected by a teacher 20 years ago!
As teachers, we are a pretty huge, if not biggest influence on a child's formative years. We build good habits, and character traits. It goes without saying therefore, that we should practise what we preach. What if we don't realise when we're being hypocrites?

A few months back, I was having a conversation with a fellow teacher on what we could do to quieten some of the hyperactive ones in class. Quite frankly, I was at my wits end on how to deal with him! And something she said took me by surprise. She would make the misbehaving Chinese student sit among the Indians as punishment. This, she told me, was a sure way of getting him to zip it, because "the Chinese students don't mix with the Indians."
Why make it a punishment then? Aren't we only justifying their hatred towards the other race by forcing them to sit there only when they misbehave? She had no answer. It was, after-all a quick-fix and no one was ready to give that up.
But what do we get in return? "Quiet" kids who grow up with a roaring disgust towards their brother from another mother.
We speak of a 21st century education system, and as terms like "open minded" and "modern thinking" are bandied about and used to describe generation Y, teachers too try to separate themselves from our rather "narrow-minded" grandparents. But honestly how different are we from the old aunties who used to say "I will let the Keling man catch you if you are naughty"?

I have always thought about her actions and wondered why it would be considered okay to anyone. In fact, today, many complain about the kids who never mingle with other races in their vernacular schools. But what about the teachers who studied exactly the same way and had not experienced living and interacting with different races till they reached the tertiary level of education? What are they bringing to the table...or rather the classroom? How equipped are they to handle the multiracial adolescent learning environment, never having tasted it themselves?

At this point my head usually starts to hurt.

In another incident, I had accompanied my school track and field team for the district level sporting event, and during the closing ceremony, I overheard two teachers talking loudly... Apparently one was speaking too fast, because the other said "cakap slow sikit, macam keling betul ko cakap" (speak slowly, you're speaking like a real keling). Now don't even try to tell me that Keling isn't a derogatory term, because just the context of this teacher's dialogue proves otherwise. The other immediately hushed her and they sheepishly glanced around to see an Indian teacher from my school sitting close by. Fortunately for them, he hadn't seemed to hear, and they burst into a fit of relieved giggles. But we haven't come to the saddest part of this story. Sitting and gaping at their teachers banter, were at least 5 students who then proceeded to laugh and share in this disgusting brand of humour endorsed by none other than their mentors and educators. And THAT, my dear reader, is simply heartbreaking.

We don't realise that as we sit and laugh, we are educating, as we talk and tell stories we are educating, as we chide, scold, and punish, we are also educating. So, it is a constant reminder to be mindful of what we impart every second of the day. As my afternoon school supervisor once very aptly put; in all our actions, we are being watched not by one, but eight hundred pairs of eyes. Eyes that remember, and eyes that learn.

Every day I am humbled by this profession, in the weight it carries in shaping the biggest assets of the future!

"Nasty littering adults, were once grimy littering, snot-nosed children, who were not checked because their parents and teachers were nasty litter bugs as well."

Cartoon memories

2017-02-17T08:24:00.001-08:00

MOSQUITOES**

That time in Taman Rakyat

2017-02-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

For a couple of non planners, I would say this trip was a pretty huge success. I hadn't been to Taman Rakyat in ages! So based on severely warped memories of my childhood, I insisted and lowkey bragged about the great hiking trails and jungle landscapes that Taman Rakyat had to offer.
"Peak? of course there's a peak!" I nodded enthusiastically

But alas, as we ambled up the flat and quite safe tarred and sometimes cement-paved road, I realised that this was quite literally "a walk in the park." We passed Taichi enthusiasts along the way and ran into the same uncles and aunties multiple times, as we made our way up the docile and unchallenging terrain. It wasn't all bad. The cool morning air was refreshing though, and it also guaranteed that we didn't break a sweat throughout the morning exercise, if we could call it that.

Anyway, it's the last day of the holidays for me. The relaxation was tremendously fun and I will hopefully take on the rest of the year with a rejuvenated spirit.ho ho ho.