In a recent ZDNet article, this is a good summary:

Parents are already on the lookout of strangers apparently taking photos of children in parks and similar places. There are plenty of incidents reported of parents getting police officers involved because they think someone they don’t know is taking photos of kids. Imagine how much worse that will get with several Google Glass wearers in the park. Just seeing someone looking at kids will set off the parent alarm.

Privacy has become something that we are desperately trying to hang on to, however everyday as the Internet expands and the human hand continues to improve and/or divulge new ways to uncover technology, we seem to be losing more of our transparency.

As adults, we need to be proactive in shielding our social security number, bank accounts, understanding when we are on secure websites and other security measures digitally for us and our kids.  Understanding and employing online security is part of parental controls, but there is no easy way to control the outside world—now with the potential risk of a piece of glass that people (strangers) can wear that have the ability to see, snap and save more than you are willing to give? And you are clueless they are capturing your every movement, which could include your restroom stops.  Not only is big brother watching, you have sisters, cousins and all sorts of strangers you will never meet.

On April 30th Google Glass was showcased on the Today Show as Matt Lauer decided to join the next tech generation by wearing Google Glass.   For a couple of hours they showed the fun side of Google Glass.

Taking pictures, videos, issuing  commands (the voice activated side of Google Glass), and even an accidental phone call loop that Al Roker got stuck in.  They said it wasn’t his fault since the method for navigating this technology is new.

Google Glass does have its’ attributes for enjoyments that many techies will love, as a recent Mashable article stated, but it also has some major concerns, in my opinion, that will outweigh the positives.

It was the weatherman, Al Roker of the Today Show to bring up the valid point that I opened this article with—privacy.

Easily the biggest concern, though, is privacy. Wherever I wore Google Glass I would get looks. No one asked about them, but I could see them regarding the device with interest and, maybe, a bit of concern. Today weatherman Al Roker peppered me with questions about privacy. As I explained, it’s hard to surreptitiously film someone. When Google Glass is on, you can see the screen illumination –- from the outside. Roker said, “What if you’re walking behind someone?” Yeah, I guess that could happen, but then they’d likely hear you saying “Okay Glass. Take a picture.”

It’s a fair concern, but Google Glass is not a spying tool. It sits above the eye, not in front of it. To use it, I looked somewhat up. If I want a spy tool, put it right in front of my eye, so I can look at the person I’m talking to, while filming someone else. – Mashable

Okay, it is more than a fair concern, it is a serious concern for many parents, in my opinion.  These are the concerns that parents need to be worried about and with this we go back to the article in ZDNET:

While I believe that lots of adult venues are going to ban the glasses outright, the issue of kids being captured with them is going to be a driver of the public reaction to this technology. It’s probably going to cause ordinances passed in many places prohibiting having Google Glasses anywhere in sight. Businesses will start bans first, and I expect amusement parks and Chuck E. Cheese will be some of the first as well. – ZDNet

Let me leave this with another thought.  Google Glass also has another feature it boasts about.  All those great pictures and videos it takes (whether you are expecting them or not) can be instantly shared on a Google+ account, but is that always secure?   Just recently an article was published about a 16-year-old girl that had her 300+ photo’s lifted from her Smartphone and loaded into a Google+ account of a complete stranger – he definitely wasn’t expecting it.  I wonder if his account was set on private.

Google Glass, it looks like it will be the future for those that can afford it and at approximately $1500.00 I would assume many people will find a way to purchase it.  The problem will be how they will be using it.

Like a most technical devices, it isn’t the tool, it is the person learning to use it responsibly that we need to be concerned about.  Unfortunately I have seen too many victims of cyber bullying, cyber stalkers, internet predators, and other forms of cyber crimes.  I hope that Google Glass comes with some guidelines and that people handle them with care and respect for others privacy.

With the recent news and media on Google Glass, the word and concern is getting out.   On May 3, 2013 a petition was formed to Ban Google Glass from use in the USA until clear limitations are placed to prevent indecent public surveillance.

A final thought I would especially like parents to think about is what happens when this Glass is put into the hands of unsavory individuals that wander our parks, libraries, and buses—the same places our children often can be found?

This is only my opinion and I do hope parents take the time to learn more about Google Glass.

The post Google Glasses Are Not Your Average Prescription: Why Parents Need to be Concerned appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

What Parents Can Learn From “The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read”

The President of Delta Gamma Sorority at the University of Maryland recently resigned after her “amazing” command of profanity combined with digital ranting went viral. Her email rant was first shared a week ago Thursday by Gawker, under the headline “The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read”. A lot of people can’t believe this was written by a young lady. Apparently this young woman was very angry about her sorority sisters’ inability to participate in Greek Week activities, especially the ones the involved their “matchup” fraternity, Sigma Nu.

Having been in a sorority in college and in the workforce for decades, I have to admit I have not read anything quite like it. It is a “spectacular” rant of epic proportions…and an amazing teachable moment for you and you kids.

I say this because it has gone viral like crazy this week and even CNN and Good Morning America are talking about it now. It is something she clearly did in anger and now can’t take back. Like we repeatedly discuss on ParentingTodaysKids.com, the Internet is forever and can have long lasting effects on your reputation.
Viewer /reader discretion is advised if you chose to seek out the email in its entirety. The email is basically this young woman going off on her sorority sisters from everything to being idiots to reminding them “frats don’t like boring sororities.” So to clarify I am recommending you talk to your kids to reinforce the point that if you post something epically stupid, it will go viral. And people will make memes of you and make videos of Barbie reciting your post like a monologue reading. You get the point and make sure your kids do too! I don’t recommend that you read them the email start to finish, even with marking out all the 50 plus f-bombs in the email, plus some additional profanity that is off the charts.

Gawker received the email below from the chapter president, who says that the email does not reflect the chapter’s values. Huge understatement.
My name is [redacted] and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter’s list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names “Delta Gamma” and “Sigma Nu” from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter’s values nor Sigma Nu’s and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
[redacted]
Of course, it did not come down and now even actors like Michael Shannon are delivering a version of it. Talk to your kids about how to behave on the Internet…don’t wait!

The post Deranged Sorority Girl Email Teachable Moment: Post Something Epically Stupid & it will Go Viral appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

Parent/Child Media Agreement

Common Sense Media has developed what they call the Family Media Agreement, a checklist that parents can use to establish guidelines and limits regarding their children’s use of media and technology.  It can be used as either an actual contract entered into and signed between parents and their kids, or as a conversational tool to address the many issues and concerns associated with today’s media use.  There are three different contracts they have developed to address various age groups.  Below, I have provided a summary of the issues.  For the full agreement, please go to www.commonsensemedia.com

The contracts have been created for three age groups:  Grades k-5, 6-8 and teens in high school.  For the younger kids, the issues fall under four different areas:

• I will keep myself safe.
• I will be a good digital citizen.
• I will think first.
• I will keep a healthy balance.

For the youngest group, kindergarten through fifth grade, some of the agreement includes:

• Not sharing passwords with others except parents.
• Not giving out personal information.
• Not uploading/downloading pictures or videos without permission.
• Not completing surveys without permission.
• Not planning to meet anyone met online without permission.
• Not bully anyone by spreading gossip, sharing photos, saying cruel things, etc.
• Not using technology to cheat in games or on schoolwork.
• Following  the rules the family has in place regarding: movies, TV, video games, websites, music.
• Recognizing that not everything seen or read online is true.
• Assisting parents in setting limits that make sense and then following them.
• Agreeing to spend time enjoying other activities and people in their lives.

In return, parents agree to:

• Recognize that media is a big part of their children’s lives, even if they don’t understand why.
• Before saying “no” they will talk about what worries them and why.
• Talk to their kids about their interests and help them find resources that are appropriate and fun.

For children in grades 6-8, the same basic issues apply, along with some other age-occurring issues such as:

• Not posting naked or sexy pictures.
• Agreeing  to block creepy messages from people they don’t know.
• Agreeing  to tell parents or a trusted adult if anything happens online that makes them uncomfortable, sad or upset.
• Telling parents if they want to create a social networking profile or new account.
• Agreeing to follow parents’ rules about ratings, and specify what these are.
• Recognizing that everything posted online or via text will likely be online forever.  Therefore, agreeing not to put anything on media that they wouldn’t want parents, teachers, college admissions officers or future bosses to see.
• Recognizing their safety is more important than social media.

In exchange, these parents agree to the above conditions, as well as:

• Agreeing to embrace their kids’ world, by making an effort to understand downloads, IM, online games and the sites that they like.

And, finally, for the teens in high school, the agreement covers three critical areas:

• I will protect my reputations and privacy.
• I will demonstrate my maturity.
• I will think first.

Under these heading are issues similar to those on the previous two agreements, but couched in terms of handing the responsibility over to the high-schooler:

• Agreeing to think about and understand anything they choose to download, or any survey they fill out.
• Earning their independence and trust from their parents.
• Helping their parents understand why media is so important to them.
• Teaching their parents how to use the tools that they like if their parents are interested in learning.
• Being mindful of how much media they consume and balance it with other activities.

And in return, parents agree to the above conditions, as well as:

• Respecting their kids’ privacy and talking to them if they have any concerns.
• Being open-minded about the media that their kids love and recognizing it’s a big part of their lives.
• Allowing their kids to make some mistakes and help them learn from them.

Obviously, the earlier you enter into an agreement with your children, the easier it will be to transition to the later editions.  The idea is for parents and kids to basically be on the same page regarding expectations, usage and limits.  I encourage you to use these various areas to compile your own checklists, so you can have the conversations and enter into the agreements that are so important to have in this day and age.

The post How to Keep Kids Safe Online: Media Agreement appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

Watch out!  RAT software offers a new level of creepy. Hackers can easily spy on your kids.   Chances are your computer (and your kid’s computer) has a webcam.  This great…unless there is a hacker watching you or your kid!

What RAT is and the  Harm it Can Do

According to a new Ars Technica report the popularity of Remote Administration Tool (RAT) software is on the rise.  RAT software allows remote “operators” to control a system as if they have physical access to that system. While desktop sharing and remote administration both have many legal and practical business uses (think of LogMeIn), RAT software can also be associated with hackers and malicious activity.

Hackers use this technology.  In most cases, malicious RAT software is installed without the victim’s knowledge.  RAT software can find its way onto your hard drive through an email attachment or a corrupted torrent.

Once the hackers have access, they use tools to further bother their victims.  One of these tools is called DarkComet, which features the “Fun Manager”.  This is a dashboard that lets hackers mess with unsuspecting users’ minds by hiding the Windows task bar or Start button, sending them a message, or even playing random music or even a porn video.

But the most troubling thing is that these hackers can watch you and your kids without you knowing it.  That is clearly disturbing.  Ars Technica reports that there are hackers watching thousands and thousands of unsuspecting girls and boys all over the world.

Ars explains how easy it is for someone to install software like DarkComet or the Blackshades, the same software that the Syrian government uses to spy on rebels, and start taking over their ‘ webcams. There’s even a handbook that teaches you all the basics for just $20 and suggests that you can break into between 500 and 3,000 computers a day.

Victims are Called Slaves

Victims are known by their attackers as “slaves.”  This term applies both the user and their computer.  Even if nobody’s logged in, a hacker just needs an Internet connection to break in and start snooping around a slave’s computer.

For example, if the slave’s entered bank information online in the past, the hacker can log into the account and steal money.  He can find names and addresses of friends or exes and use that information for sextortionist purposes.

On another creepy level, the hacker can just watch.  He can watch the girls as they are on their computers or even watch them get undressed in the background.  He can watch their reactions (often terrified) as he starts messing with their computers and doing things like randomly starting a hard core porn video.

Anderson writes, “RAT operators have nearly complete control over the computers they infect; they can (and do) browse people’s private pictures in search of erotic images to share with each other online.  They even have strategies for watching where women store the photos most likely to be compromising. Women who have this done to them, especially when the spying escalates into blackmail, report feeling paranoia.”

RAT and Sextortionists

Anderson wrote about  ”sextortionists” like the undocumented immigrant who targeted 230 victims, 44 of whom were minors, before being caught.  This hacker would break into the unsuspecting victims’ computer and find information that could be used for blackmail — everything from naked pictures to credit card numbers — and demand they perform sex acts on camera in order to avoid the information being leaked.  Ultimately, this hacker was convicted of felony extortion and sentenced to seven years in prison.

The RAT problem is not going away, especially now that almost all computers come with webcams built into them.  Places like Hack Forum show that a growing number of hackers and wannabes are interested in using RAT.   Unfortunately, it’s rare for anyone to get caught doing it.

What Parents Can Do

• Protect your system from RATs by  following  the same procedures you use to prevent other malware infections.
•  Make sure the antivirus software on your kid’s computer is up to date.
• Teach kids to not download programs or open attachments that aren’t from a trusted source and don’t download torrent files.  Instead, tell them to try streaming movies and TV shows through services like HuluPlus.  This way they can still have access to the content without worrying about the security issues that come with downloading.
• Remind your kids that the best way to protect themselves from being watched is by using a very low-tech thing: put a post-it note up to cover their camera until they want to use it.  The RAT software is so sophisticated not that the camera may be on without the light being on.

The post RAT Software Offers a New Level of Creepy: Hackers Spying on Your Kids appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

Digital Discourse May Increase Your Anger: Civility In The Digital Age Is Good for You

How many times have you experienced anger on the Internet?  How many times  do you feel the urge to post those ugly comments when someone posts something that you completely disagree with?   And you immediately respond with an ugly comment back.

How many times do you connect with someone that is posting terrible things about you–whether they are lies or twisted truths and you attempt to defend yourself or a friend or relative?  And you know you shouldn’t–the golden rule is never engage with online rants. You know better!  Now your blood is boiling!

How many times have you argued with Internet trolls on a forum (whether it is commenting on an article or a discussion forum), that no matter how many times you attempt to convince them the sky is blue–it will always be orange in their way of thinking?  And you know you should have disengaged 8 comments earlier.

The three scenarios above are usually followed by common sense the following day when you see how your anger has created cyberspace battleground that is public and permanent.

There is nothing wrongs with posting your opinion or your feelings in a constructive way, without anger or rage.  However when you start ranting about someone or something the conversation will then go from a good debate to a cyber-war.  No one will win.

Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking offered new research on anger on Internet sites.

Some of these sites are called rant sites.  Rant-sites are websites that provide people with a forum to rant about whatever they would like.  Some people get a thrill out of harming others with their keystrokes and a click of a mouse or their cell phone keypad.   When we hear about  cyber bullying and our children, do we look back at what some adults are doing?

What type of role model are we for our kids?

Dr. Ryan Martin, the lead author of this research, said “The Internet brings out impulsivity problems more than anything else,” he continues, “It is too easy to respond when you are most angry.”

As when you have received an email or news you are not happy with, you know you should always take 24 hours to cool off.  Posting on the Internet is not any different.  Engaging in these rant-sites doesn’t serve any purpose except to encourage harmful conduct.  Websites that function as virtual punching bags reinforce harmful behavior, Dr. Martin said. “Most of these sites encourage venting as a way of dealing with anger,” he said. “They think of venting as a healthy adaptive approach, and it’s not.”

Cowards. That is who they are.  Who are the Internet trolls that like to engage in these rant-sites and enjoy belittling others or destroying careers and other’s lives?  The Monsters of the Web–there are ten very descript and detailed career-minded trolls that can fit this profile.  The late John Dozier Jr., a leading Internet Attorney and co-author of Google Bomb, described these scofflaw personas thoroughly.

Isn’t it time we learn more about civility in the digital age?  Attorney and founder of CiviliNation, Andrea Weckerle is the author of Civility in the Digital Age: How Companies and People Can Triumph over Haters, Trolls, Bullies, and Other Jerks.  Weckerle said, “Online hostility is a public health crisis. Lives are destroyed through aggression online.”

In her book she outlines negative behavior frequently found online as well as remedies to turn things around.

Weckerle goes into considerable detail about what types of conflict we’re likely to encounter online (these can range from one-on-one interpersonal conflict to conflict with people who are pseudonymous or anonymous, to online lynch mobs), as well as who the most common troublemakers are (cyberbullies, online harassers and defamers, trolls, sockpuppets, and a host of difficult people). Of particular interest is the information about anger management, which includes insights into how to manage one’s own anger online and how to deal with those who are aggressively spouting off, both which are super important in the hyper-intense online environment. The chapter on conflict resolution skills and strategies get into nitty-gritty how-tos.

Takeaway tips:

• 24-hour cool off policy is not only for in real-life, use this measure with your online habits too.  It is the same with emails.  If you have a challenging email to send, it is a rule to wait 24 hours and revisit it before hitting that send button. (Unwritten rule of course).
• Never engage with hostile conduct online.  There isn’t anything wrong with a good constructive debate, however when it crosses the line into harassing or name-calling it is time to disengage.
• Rant sites and other sites designed to insult and demean others only exist if you continue to visit them.  Stay off them.  The more you visit them, if only to read them, you are empowering them.  Let’s not give them the rankings they need to continue breathing in cyberspace.

Let’s start today by staying off all those negative rant sites, not giving them the energy they need to stay alive.  Let’s disengage when others start attacking us.  Most of all, let’s practice being nice to each online.  Civility goes a long way and this a practice we need to pass on to our children–especially now in this digital world.

Like the cliché — if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all.  Today, please choose not to post it either.   

PS:  Remember, our kids are watching.

The post Why Anger on the Internet is Bad for You (and Your Kids!) appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

High School Football Players + Bad Behavior Again?

Not again.  It sounds very similar to what recently went down in Ohio.  There are two high school football players accused of sexual assault.  Their friends are all over social media to defend them and actually blame the victims.  The athletic director is at risk of appearing to be dismissive related to the allegations against the school’s athletes.  When school administrators are reluctant to immediately address the accusations, it sort of looks like a cover up.  Finally, the online hacktivist group Anonymous pledges to expose the truth and publicly shame those who engage in cyberbullying and victim-blaming.

This is not Steubenville, Ohio- it is miles away in Torrington, Connecticut.  Two 18 year old young men are accused of  second-degree sexual assault of two 13-year-old girls.   The young men live in the same Torrington apartment complex and were arrested last month on sexual assault charges stemming from separate incidents in February.  They both pleaded not guilty. The investigation is ongoing, Torrington police say.

The victims and their alleged attackers knew one another, Emanuel said. “The reason that this is a sexual assault is that there is more than a three-year age difference. That’s what we have to keep in mind.”  When asked if the contact was consensual, Emanuel said, “Statutorily it is not consensual.”

Young Alleged Victims Cyberbulled

Sealed by a Litchfield district court, the case had been kept under wraps by school officials until this week, when the Register Citizen reported, that “dozens of athletes and Torrington High School students, male and female,” taunted the alleged victims on Twitter

“Even if it was all his fault,” Mary J. Ramirez, whose Twitter handle is @LoryyRamirez, wrote, “what was a 13 year old girl doing hanging around 18 year old guys[?]”

“I wanna know why there’s no punishment for young hoes,” Twitter user @asmedick wrote, according to the paper.

Torrington school officials said on Wednesday that they would investigate the apparent cyberbullying.” We’re doing everything we can to provide the safety [the alleged victims] need in schools,” Kenneth Traub, Torrington’s Board of Education chairman, said on Wednesday.

#endAnonymous, the loosely associated hacktivist group are in the middle of all this again. As was the case in Steubenville, Anonymous launched “Operation Raider,” a reference to the nickname of the Torrington High School football team. “#OpRaider is the new #OpRollRedRoll,” the group tweeted last week, as well as  ”Torrington better take note of #Steubenville because they’re about to go on blast. #endrapeculture”

What the School Administration Says

“If you think there’s some wild band of athletes that are wandering around, then I think you’re mistaken,” Torrington High School Athletic Director Mike McKenna told the Register Citizen. “If you look at crime statistics, these things happen everywhere and we’re not any different than any other community.”

In an editorial published on Thursday, the Register Citizen blasted “the posture of denial and defensiveness” Torrington school officials have taken in response to the case:

“The first step in recovering from this is admitting you have a problem. And after reading the social media accounts of average, “good” students at Torrington High School, it’s clear that Torrington students need an urgent education about blaming the victim, bullying and harassment, what “consent” means, why statutory rape is rape, period, and where football should stand in relatipon to their education and the rest of life. Let’s hope that starts today.”

What Parents Should Do

1.  Now is the time to talk to both your middle school and high school age kids.  Read the articles about these current events and ask them questions like, “What do you think you could do if you saw someone filming abuse at a party?”  “What would you do if someone sent you pictures of someone being victimized?”  Don’t assume they know the answers you would like to hear.
2. Establish clear moral expectations.  Now is a great time to discuss your values and expectations of both your sons and daughters.
3.  Point out how social media plays a huge part in both of these cases.  Things done and shown online have huge implications in the “real world”.
4. Install monitoring programs such as ones offered at www.spectorsoft.com to protect your preteens and teens on their laptops, PCs and mobile devices.  Use it to determine if they are making good choices by setting up alerts to notify you of poor choices.
5. Don’t wait until it is too late.

The post High School Football Players Violate Young Teens appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

Friendless, I stumble down the hall

Downtrodden, despondent, eyes downcast

Shuffling my feet to the next class

A sea of students surrounds me

Yet I feel all alone, remaining unknown.

Funny isn’t it?

School, a place to learn, grow…to find yourself

We camouflage who we are, hiding behind our own façade

This four year masquerade disheartens me

Passing the days as a detainee

Sitting in class, I try to block out a jeer

A face full of shame, I want to disappear disappear

“Gosh, I’m just kidding. Can’t you take a joke,” they respond

Shrugging this off, I slide down in my chair

My face may say otherwise, but I really do care

Have you ever taken the time to know more about me?

Does it even occur to you my problems are real?

You aren’t the only person in this world

Before you go around judging, labeling, generalizing

Look in the mirror, you may not like what you see

Do you think I am stupid?

I have a mind just like you

With feelings the same that can be battered and bruised

This abuse is not outright, it’s really quite subtle

But it doesn’t take much for my spirits to crumble

What’s that you say? Things will get better?

If you are so sure then answer me this

When have you dealt with my own tribulation?

That’s right, you have not, so thanks for the try

But your hollow words do not bring consolation

“I feel kinda bad for him, for friends he has none”

Close your mouth, shut your trap,

Your pity, I hate

All I wish is my voice to be valued and heard

Not wrote off and laughed at like something absurd

I am sure you have all felt similar too

The only feeling inside you a passionate scream

But what do we do?

We sit there in silence

Hold the emotions inside

While darkness envelops our minds as a whole

As we fade to the black and lose all control

I am the nameless face

An insipid, spiritless, abandoned face

You see my face each day

But in reality, you never see – never even try to see

The person who is me

The post Nameless Face appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

A Note to Our Readers:  This article is by our Legal Expert, Andrew Agaston, in an effort to educate parents about the dangers of when a website is created using someone else’s real name…and what you can do about it.  Parents need to know because kids sometimes create websites that may insult/endanger another child.  On these sites, they create pages specifically designed to insult another kid or group of people.  Learn more about this below:

For Websites, Acceptable Use Policies Can Be Impressively Ineffective

This is a hybrid case study.  I’ve combined facts from a few real situations, kept other facts out, and added hypothetical facts in order to protect privacy.

What if a Harasser Creates a Website?

For whatever reason an individual, the “harasser,” creates a website using someone else’s real name.  This “someone else” being targeted is a random citizen just like you or me rather than a branded business entity or a branded business name.

It’s someone who is being targeted due to a perceived slight, or an ugly break-up, or for some other cyber bullying activity.

The website is not necessarily “fake” to the extent that it includes real information about the website’s namesake.  But it can’t be seen as a business website that is promoting services or is engaged in interstate commerce either, because it is simply created to make the life miserable for the targeted individual.

The harasser might create the website through one of the companies that provide web services for small businesses.  The web service company has “acceptable use” policies for its customers, such as the person who wants the domain name registered and creates the website.  In our case study, the website that was created contains content that could objectively be considered defamatory, and could even border on violations of state laws in those states that have laws related to computer-oriented harassment crimes.

Regardless, by most objective measures the content could be considered violations of the web service company’s “acceptable use” or prohibited use policy. If you review a sampling of the web service companies’ acceptable use policies they often include prohibitions regarding content that is harmful based upon all types of activities that are also labeled as “torts” in tort law:  defamation, invasion of privacy and libel, for example.  Other prohibitions might include harassment, casting others in false light, trademark or copyright infringement, racial or ethnic comments, hate speech, and more.

Some policies reserve the right to take down the content for any or all of these reasons, or for no reason whatsoever.  That sounds like a lot of protection for individuals who might be targeted by a website operator or the person who otherwise controls the website’s content.

Examples  “Acceptable Use” Policies

Let’s review an example of an “acceptable use” statement.

Users may not: use the services to publish or disseminate information that (1) Constitutes slander, libel or defamation,

(2) Publicizes the personal information or likeness of a person without that person’s consent or

(3) Otherwise violate the privacy rights of any person;

(4) Use the services to threaten persons with bodily harm

(5) Use the services to make harassing or abusive statements or messages, or

(6) Use the services to solicit the performance of acts or services that are illegal under applicable law.

Those are very good policies to have.  They sound reasonable and worthwhile – and protective!  And as previously stated, the web service companies will often set forth remedies that they can pursue to enforce violations of the “acceptable use” policies by one of its customers.

The enforcement language can sound strong and significant.

For example:

“If the company learns that there is a violation of this policy, the company may in its sole discretion, take any of the following actions, with or without notice to the customer: warn the customer and/or suspend and/or terminate the services or the offending customer; unilaterally remove any offending content; take any other action in accordance with this policy; take any other action in accordance with the applicable service agreement or applicable law; or take any other action deemed appropriate or necessary in the company’s sole discretion.”

When someone is targeted by a website in this manner, there are a number of responses to take in order to try to remedy the harm.  One is to contact the web service company and inform it of the harassing content.  I do this not necessarily with the expectation that the web service company will enforce its acceptable use policies and take down the harmful content, although that would be nice.

Rather, it is done in order to show a court, if litigation becomes necessary, that this and all other steps were taken in an attempt to resolve this unpleasant experience before having to file a lawsuit.  You might question why I don’t have the expectation that a web service company will enforce its own acceptable use policies and take down the harmful content.  After all, some social media sites can be quite receptive to these requests.

My belief is that some web service companies are inundated with complaints regarding website content, which far too often results in the web service company providing you with a very unsatisfactory – and legally unrealistic – response.

How to Respond When Harm is Occurring

“If you are alleging defamation, we will require a signed Court Order or other directive related to your claims in order to effectuate any change to the account and or hosting information.”

What just happened?  The acceptable use policy had all of that impressive language about enforcement for violations of slander, defamation, harassment, violations of privacy, and more.  The acceptable use policy said it would remove content unilaterally, not be a paper tiger!

And this response is legally unrealistic.  Requiring that you provide the web service company with a “signed court order” regarding a defamation claim will require the following:

(1) a lawsuit is filed;

(2) it is served on the defendant by the deputy sheriff 5-10 days later;

(3) an answer to the complaint is filed 30 days after service of the complaint;

(4) the parties engage in civil discovery for the required 6-month discovery period (Georgia example);

(5) after the 6-month discovery period expires, a pre-trial hearing is held approximately 2 months later;

(6) and then some 2 to 6 months after the pre-trial hearing (depending upon how many cases were on the trial court’s docket), a trial occurs.  If the Plaintiff wins, there’s the “signed court order.”

But as all targets of website harassment understand, the harm is occurring now.  The goal is to stop the harm now.  Many times, litigation does not stop the harm now, but later, if at all.  On the other hand, every time, litigation is expensive and time-consuming.  Clearly, a response from a web service company stating that it needs a “court order” to take down the offending conduct adds insult to injury.  We would much prefer that the web service company simply enforce its own stated policies and remove the website content.

So what else to do?  We’ll describe a phased approach next time.

The post When Kids Create Websites to Insult Other Kids appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

The article highlights an upper-middle class high school girl named “Nina’ who was only 18 years old at the time.  She was experiencing a difficult family situation after her mom was sentenced to prison for 2 years related to a financial crime.  She had once been a college bound senior but found herself thrown off course.

Lonely and looking online for male attention, she started messaging back and forth with a guy on Facebook.  Soon he claimed he was falling in love with her.  The conversations turned to trips they’d take together as a couple, and about marriage, maybe kids. “He sold me the biggest dream in the world,” she says. “I thought he really did like me and we were going to live this fairy-tale life together.”

After about a month, when her friends went off to college, she traveled over 2 hours from her home to meet him in person for the first time in Seattle.  This is when things feel apart very quickly.  Almost right after she got there, this “boyfriend” dropped her off on a street where prostitutes work and told her she was going to “catch dates.”

Instead of running away, she stayed.  She explains that she was desperate for love in light of the fact her family situation was falling apart that she was willing to do anything for the man she thought loved her. Keeping the attention of her “boyfriend” required selling herself for sex. He was a pimp — and she was one of a growing number of women recruited on social networks for sex trafficking.

“Pimps are professional exploiters,” says Andrea Powell, executive director of Fair Girls, an organization that helps victims of sex trafficking. “Often they’re just spamming a whole bunch of girls with messages like, ‘Hey, you look cute. I could be your boyfriend.’

Girls Victimized in Affluent Suburb of Virginia

Across the country in Virginia, Justin Strom (aka “J-Dirt”) used social media to recruit the high-school girls he and his followers trafficked in an affluent suburb on the outskirts of Washington, D.C.   Members of his gang operated a prostitution ring for 6 years that victimized at least eight 16- and 17-year olds, according to court documents.  The girls were rented out to five to 10 customers each on a typical night. The going rate was around $30 for 15 minutes.

Strom’s preferred hunting grounds were social media sites. The group “searched Facebook for attractive young girls, and sent them messages telling them that they were pretty and asking if they would like to make some money,” one witness told a Federal Bureau of Investigation agent investigating the case.  Strom used a collection of fake accounts to send out more than 800 messages to potential target victims.

When a girl showed some interest, a gang member met up with her. At that point, the true terror began and the girl no longer had a say in her choice.  For example, one 17-year-old solicited on Facebook allowed Strom to pick her up in his car at her home.  But when he explained what he expected, she wanted out.  In response to this, he “slammed her head against the window of the vehicle,” forced her to ingest cocaine, and slashed her arm with a knife, according to court records.  That night, he took her to an apartment complex and rented her out to 14 men.   An FBI operation shut Strom’s gang down last year, and in September he was sentenced to 40 years in prison. Four of his associates were also convicted.

Tactics are Common…and Unfortunately Work

Unfortunately, FBI agent Jack Bennett who focuses on cybercrimes, says Strom’s tactics are becoming more common. Part of the problem, he says is that minors will accept friend requests “ from strangers just to appear to be popular.”  Photos, personal information, and friend lists are then out in the open.   Pimps “start looking for the cracks where they can fill the holes, whether it be a father figure or a boyfriend,” Bennett says.

Sometimes the pimps are even out in the open.  “If it’s a ‘P’ beside their name, that stands for pimp,” says Lisa a 21-year-old who was trafficked for most of her teenage years before escaping in mid-2012, intentions. On any given day, she gets a steady stream of messages from unfamiliar men whose last names are just “P.”

While parents may want to think that these pimps approaches do not work, unfortunatlely they work more often than parents would like to believe. “There’s no high school that’s immune to this,” Ken Cuccinelli, Virginia attorney general, said in a press conference unveiling the charges against Strom. “It demands increased vigilance by both parents and law enforcement into the activities that are occurring across those social media lines.”

What Parents Should Do

The FBI recommends that parents monitor their kids’ online profiles and postings as the agency feels it is essential in order to keep your kids safe. It also recommends that parents educate their kids about the kinds of pictures and messages they post and who they share them with.  Remind teens that they can’t take back anything that they post.

“I’ve talked to parents who say, ‘Hey listen, my son has to set up my computer ’cause I just don’t know,’” says the FBI’s Bennett. “That’s not an excuse anymore. You’ve got to know, because it’s your child’s life and their well-being depends on this.”

FBI Online Safety Checklist

Most importantly, be aware and involved.  See this FBI Checklist to help keep you kids safe:

• Monitor your children’s use of the Internet.
• Tell your kids why it’s so important not to disclose personal information online.
• Check your kids’ profiles and what they post online.
• Read and follow the safety tips provided on the sites.
• Report inappropriate activity to the website or law enforcement immediately.
• Explain to your kids that once images are posted online they lose control of them and can never get them back.
• Only allow your kids to post photos or any type of personally identifying information on websites with your knowledge and consent.
• Instruct your kids to use privacy settings to restrict access to profiles so only the individuals on their contact lists are able to view their profiles.
• Remind kids to only add people they know in real life to their contact lists.
• Encourage kids to choose appropriate screen names or nicknames.
• Talk to your kids about creating strong passwords.
• Visit social networking websites with your kids, and exchange ideas about acceptable versus potentially risky websites.
• Ask your kids about the people they are communicating with online.
• Make it a rule with your kids that they can never give out personal information or meet anyone in person without your prior knowledge and consent. If you agree to a meeting between your child and someone they met online, talk to the parents/guardians of the other individual first and accompany your kids to the meeting in a public place.
• Encourage your kids to consider whether a message is harmful, dangerous, hurtful, or rude before posting or sending it online, and teach your kids not to respond to any rude or harassing remarks or messages that make them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused and to show you the messages instead.
• Educate yourself on the websites, software, and apps that your child uses.
• Don’t forget cell phones! They often have almost all the functionality of a computer.

To read the entire CNNMoney article, please see the link below:

http://money.cnn.com/2013/02/27/technology/social/pimps-social-networks/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

The post Pimps Use Social Media to Lure Girls appeared first on Parenting Today's Kids.

Why Parents Should Care about the Movie

Ever wonder to yourself, why do the models look so very skinny and luminous? After watching Girl Model Movie, you will know that they are mostly between the ages of 12-16.

So much for us attempting that look now that we are in our twenties and thirties and no longer look like a child. So why do people still attempt to look as though they are so young and skinny? Our eyes are being trained to perceive beauty as prepubescent.  Are we training a generation of pedophiles and not even know it? For our daughters to try to obtain a version of beauty that is unhealthy and unnatural?

Girl Model, released 7 September 2012, directed by David Redmon and Ashley Sabin. This is a documentary of the use of prepubescent models, for adult ad campaigns in Japan. The movie follows model scout Ashley Arbaugh and a young model Nadya Vall through the entire process of selecting models to beginning work. Nadya is only twelve years old and sent from Siberia to Japan alone to model. Her parents believe that they will be providing her an opportunity for a better life. Does she sound a little bit too young to be alone?

The reason Nadya was chosen is explained by, Ashley Arbaughn, the model scout in her statement: “My business in Japan you can’t be young enough and youth is beautiful there is a luminosity there is something in the skin there something innocent and that’s what my eye has been trained to see from Japan so I look at beauty and I think of young girls beautiful.”

Scientific research shows that the human brain creates neural passageways every time it experiences something new. Neural passageways retain their strength every time you repeat the “new experience”. The market created a demand for prepubescent looking models. Now every time your son or daughter stands at the grocery store and flips through a magazine, they are retaining the neural passageway that tells them “this is beauty”.

Over and over again it’s a mass brain washing and our society in general has come to accept that this is beauty. This is not unique just to the US.   For example, the Japanese market likes their models looking very young and child-like. This can also be seen in all of the Japanese anime that characters look prepubescent as well.   A concerning thought is who else besides kids and teens are enjoying looking at these child models?  The possible answer is sickening, as every day the headlines scream out about another child who was victimized by adult (in some cases even a teacher or cop) often with the relationship being started online.

What Parents Can Do

As a parent decides what to do about this, there are some solutions that have come to mind:

1. Remember to tell your children they are beautiful in a world were true beauty is taken for granted.  You really can’t give them too many reminders from a loved one.
2. If you see your child looking online at magazine ads remind her (or him) that those people have been photoshopped to look as if they are “perfect”.   Real people don’t look like that.  Look online for stars without makeup to help show reality.
3. Watch Girl Model Movie Documentary with your preteen /teen. This is the documentary that spurred this article.
4. Families can talk about Girl Model‘s message about the modeling industry. Ask them questions like, “What don’t you see when you look at a beautiful girl’s photo in a magazine?”
5. Discuss body image issues with your kids. What does it say about modeling when some of the bikini-clad girls are called “too fat” or the scout says certain countries want to see only super skinny, super young girls?  Could they be skinny because they live in poverty without access to proper nutrition?
6. Monitor your child’s activity on the computer, who they are talking to, what they are looking at and how much time they are spending on the internet.  Remember that too much online exposure can cause a false sense of reality and depression because the perfection of the people on display can seem so unattainable.
7. And this one is just for you to practice. Your kids are exactly that… kids.  Don’t treat them like adults.  Remember that they haven’t emotionally arrived yet and that they need your love and protection. Loving them means making sure that they are not being exposed to things that they are not ready for yet.  This is why monitoring your kid’s online and mobile experiences is important.

Your kids need to hear the truth about what modeling and beauty is based on. According to an ex-model and modeling scout Ashley Arbaugh, “Modeling has no weight it changes minute by minute and it’s based on nothing.”  In the beginning of the movie, young Nadya has the healthy perspective of beauty, “Human beauty for me is inward. The beauty of the soul, if a person’s soul is compassionate everything else follows.” This is a message parents should reinforce.

Make sure that your child’s self worth is not dictated by the media lies.  Monitor what they see and who they talk to both online and offline. You want them to grow up to be healthy adults with the right perspective of what true worth is.

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