http://parentingtoolbox.com Hug your child 17 times today. That's right, 17 times... posterous.com Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:11:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/SAaqi_BaYGw/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kids-from-becoming-tar http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kids-from-becoming-tar <p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Bullying" height="350" src="http://getfile0.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-02-26/lhotvzCAeGqAiEDnJkjfwFlrFkCwxlJkElewkapsdhxkinwawomgpkeDFntq/bullying.jpg.scaled595.jpg" width="468" /> </div> </p> <p>1 in every 5 students in high schools complained of bullying last year. With bullying making national news nowadays, communities and schools have now started taking a strong anti-bullying stand to protect students.&nbsp;</p> <p>As smart parents, you of course understand that this is not enough and that you probably need to be more vigilant to make sure your children are not becoming a victim of the bully&rsquo;s. Sure you cannot guard your kids all the time but if you help them understand a few things, they will definitely be more comfortable in seeking your help to keep all bullies at bay. Given below are the five tips that will help you bully-proof your child:</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="">1.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 7pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><strong>Let Them Talk</strong> &ndash; Encourage your child to open up and confide in you if he or she is being bullied in school. Don&rsquo;t put them down if they have been unable to fight the bully back. Rather talk to the child about bullying and tell them about your experiences with bullies. Also, speak to the school authorities and seek their help in resolving the issue without troubling the child.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="">2.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 7pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><strong>Find Out What The Bully Wants</strong> &ndash; When you encourage your child to talk to you, you can find out what the bully wants? Is it the child&rsquo;s lunch, money, the gadgets, or the new <a href="http://www.costumewigsource.com/">funky costume wigs</a> they just brought? In such a case, let the child leave the object of temptation at home and you can observe if this resolves the situation.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="">3.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 7pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><strong>Encourage Them to Stay in Groups</strong> &ndash; Teach your child that bullies target loners and so, encourage him or her to be with friends whenever he or she is at their lockers or at any other time. Being in a group protects the child from bullies. If your child does not have too many friends, you may want to <a href="http://www.partysuppliesmegastore.com/spring-party-supplies.html">buy spring party supplies</a> and organize a small party to help him get along and have fun with other students.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="">4.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 7pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><strong>Discourage Retaliate</strong> &ndash; Being calm and not retaliating is sometimes the best way to deal with bullies. Your child can ignore the remarks made and just walk away from the situation. If the child does not retaliate, the bully will soon go in search of other targets.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="">5.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 7pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><strong>Involve The School</strong> &ndash; You may talk to the bully&rsquo;s parents but that rarely resolves the issue. If you still wish to talk to bully&rsquo;s parents, it is a good idea to involve the school authorities and ask the school counselor to intervene on your behalf.</p> <p>Working with your child can not only help him or her but also resolve the issue. Be calm and counsel the child to be calm too. Address the problem in a logical and calm way so that your child can continue going to school without being bothered again.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kids-from-becoming-tar">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kids-from-becoming-tar#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/SAaqi_BaYGw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kids-from-becoming-tar Mon, 20 Feb 2012 07:49:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/AjyWPW7WNgw/dreaming-of-dry-sheets http://parentingtoolbox.com/dreaming-of-dry-sheets <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Media_httpdailyinfogr_kfiaa" height="2752" src="http://getfile3.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/parentingtoolbox/fHFjmkFwIjyoEqlrDIakJdtwsuDJwFolDbbIwHwJugzeqmkguutCmzApBkJe/media_httpdailyinfogr_kfiaA.jpg.scaled595.jpg" width="595" /> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://dailyinfographic.com/dreaming-of-dry-sheets-infographic">dailyinfographic.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley: This isn't one of the most talked about parenting tools on blogs or parenting classes but it is one that can shame the toughest child and frustrate the most competent parents. This infographic has some very helpful advice for mom and dad. Get more power tools now in the "inner circle" membership club!</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/dreaming-of-dry-sheets">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/dreaming-of-dry-sheets#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/AjyWPW7WNgw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/dreaming-of-dry-sheets Sun, 19 Feb 2012 07:07:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/tWMkfqvCSCM/daily-love-notes http://parentingtoolbox.com/daily-love-notes <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote><div> <div> <div> <div> <img src="http://teachingselfgovernment.com/sites/teachingselfgovernment.com/files/images/2012/02/February%202012%20015.JPG?1328598365" height="480" alt="Valentine Boxes All Year Round" width="360" /> </div> </div> </div> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">There are many ways to show love for family members. However, in our family, we don't write to each other as much as we talk to each other or do acts of service. So, for one of our family activities we decided to make a family mail system.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">Outside Mom and Dad's bedroom door we made a family post office. Each of us have our own mail box, with flag to indicate when there is a message we need to pick up.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our family is loving this! I spend moments each day writing love notes my family will want to keep forever, and depositing small gifts into the boxes. Everyone else does the same. My small children come to me and say, “Mom, your flag is up, you better go check your mailbox.”</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">They can't wait for me to see the love notes they have put in my box. “Mom, you are the best mom ever! Love, Londyn”</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">When I read the notes some of the children blush a bit or turn away. They have written things they normally wouldn't say. Really kind, mushy things like, “Mom, I love when you sing me songs.”</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think we are really going to love having those mail boxes in the hall to remind us to tell others how much we love and appreciate them.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm pretty sure these boxes will end up being our fun new Valentine boxes for 2012. This activity is also teaching my children how to write a letter, and why spelling is important.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Making A Post Office </b></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This is what we did. We ordered small metal mail boxes from Oriental trading for $2 each. Then we decorated them how we wanted to. Then Dad used a long screw and a washer and screwed each one to the wall. </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">Happy Valentines Day!&nbsp; </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="http://teachingselfgovernment.com/implementation-course">Nicholeen's 10 Step Implementation Course</a></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="http://teachingselfgovernment.com/catalog/products-0">Books and Audio Classes</a></p><p> --&gt; </p></div></blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://teachingselfgovernment.com/youve-got-mail-love-note-ideas-1037">teachingselfgovernment.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Writes: Daily love notes is an excellent way to keep children engaged and promote strong family connections. What would you put in a note to your child?</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/daily-love-notes">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/daily-love-notes#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/tWMkfqvCSCM" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/daily-love-notes Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:06:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/LWadSVdl2Vw/moral-development-of-children http://parentingtoolbox.com/moral-development-of-children <p> <p>(This article is a repost but I like it...)</p> <p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">A bumper sticker on the back of an expensive recreational vehicle read: "We're spending our children's inheritance." While many parents strive to save wealth and property to hand down to their children, how many parents will make an effort to leave a spiritual inheritance for them? How do parents invest in the wealth of their children's moral well being? What transactions should parents engage in to create ethical returns in their child's behavior?</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">These are some of the questions we will look at in this second installment on "The Moral Development in Children." To help with the answers, we asked Mimi Doe, author of the book&nbsp;</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060952415/parentingtoolbox" style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">"10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting" a</a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">nd a group of spiritually minded parents for practical advice on creating a spiritual inheritance.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">"Mirror, Mirror"</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">In the introduction to her book, Doe writes: "Children are spiritual beings." She considers a child's spirituality to be innate but that parents and other adults "clobber it out of them." Parents who want to develop moral and ethical behavior in children must nurture these qualities in their child. One of reasons parents "clobber" or discourage these qualities in children is that they are not attuned with their own spirituality.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Parents are psychological and spiritual mirrors to children. "Children form their earliest ideas about God, the world, people, and trust from what is mirrored from you," says Doe.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">How do you act, or react, to circumstances? Do you scream at the guy who just cut you off on the road? Do you make fun of other people? Do you tantrum when you are frustrated? A child's identity is filtered through the beliefs and behaviors of their parent.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">A parent from the online&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">support group</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">&nbsp;stated it this way: "The most important heritage we can leave our children is to have them be richly aware of God's presence and working in our lives. The way we perceive and explain the events of day-to-day life; how we live will determine their spiritual inheritance."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">That's a heavy load for many parents who didn't grow up in a spiritual or moral home or feel too overwhelmed by life to try and be "perfect" in front of their children. Not having moral models, in parents own lives, may mean that being a moral mirror is difficult, it is never too late to develop one's own spirituality. Doing so doesn't require a strict religious training or dogma asserts Doe. While that might work for some parents, a day-to-day way of being, with our child, and us, is all that is needed.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Another mother of the Parents Work Bench expressed, "If I teach my children to build their treasures on heavenly things: love, peace, patience, and kindness, that is being a real mother." Perhaps many of the physical things parents are currently doing, that make them exhausted, are actually teaching an anti-moral lesson.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">"Weave spirituality into your everyday rhythm; your daily routines," prescribes Doe. "It doesn't take any more time to light a candle and flip on Mozart than to turn on the television or news in the morning."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">The moral of this moral lesson is mirror to your children what you want to see in them. And if your children are not displaying the kinds of behavior, who consider right, take a look in the mirror first, to see what your child is seeing and possibly mimicking.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">The Spirit of Discipline</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Doe suggests that parents let go of people or situations that drag them and the children down, physically and spiritually. When you are around exciting and stimulating people whom love life, you feel excited and full of life too, right? But when you are around people and situations that deplete the emotional reserves, you feel negative and empty.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">The same is true for children. They need vibrant, spiritual parents who give them life. And, they need parents to make tough decisions about where they should go, what they should watch, who they should socialize with, to help them develop their spiritual and moral selves. If this is done early in a child's life, they will have a better chance latter in life, to act morally and know the value of their own spirituality. A proverb, in the Holy Bible, says, "Train a child when he is young and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Sound investment tips there!</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">A common complaint of American parents is that they no longer have the tools to teach children right from wrong. Parents argue that because their tool of spanking is gone, so is their ability to discipline. In light of the principles of spiritual and moral development, the problem may not be technique, but lack of "spirit." Without the inner discipline, taught by a parents words and deeds, the outer discipline is unprofitable (spiritually speaking).</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Making Spiritual Transactions</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">So, what can a parent do to increase the interest rate of their child's moral bank account? Doe offers various exercises, affirmations, and activities for parents for each spiritual parenting principle:</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #1: Knowing God Cares for You. "Establish daily spiritual habits and household rituals and pray anytime you hear a siren. Send a blessing to everyone involved in the emergency incident, paint or draw pictures of God, point out simple signs of God in your child's life: the perfect snowflake, the lunar eclipse, the magic of spring. Learn about the worlds religions and create a family alter."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #2: Trust and teach that all life is connected and has a purpose. "Bring nature inside and let your family observe growth&amp;Get involved in neighborhood beautification projects. Celebrate Earth Day. Take a hike, plant a butterfly garden or window box. Adopt a cause."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #3: Listen to your child. "Have mealtime conversations&amp;ask your child to write some prayers that the whole family can use&amp;Make dates for one-on-one with your children&amp;Set up specific discussion themes and times&amp;Read books with your child&amp;have family meetings&amp;Wish upon a star with your child."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #4: Words are important, use them with care. "Write a poem about your pets&amp;Create a cartoon character that represents you. Create a story box. Grab your journal before you go to sleep at night and jot down five images of your child from the day and write the story of your child's birth. Plant secret love notes. Pray together as a family and tape record your daily conversations."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #5: Allow and encourage dreams, wishes and hopes. "Spend time role-playing a dream, create a dream book and point out examples of good luck throughout the day. Encourage team activities, sports, and interest groups. Ask each family member to draw or write his goals or dreams"</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #6: Add magic to the ordinary. "Look for the fairy in the soap bubbles when you wash dishes and walk in the rain. Arrange the bedsheets into a tent and turn an ordinary night into an enchanted imaginary camp-out. Watch the moon come out. Have a picnic indoors. Try waking your child with a song. Play in the snow and come up with a family logo or family slogan."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #7: Create a flexible structure. "Take a recess from dishwashing for a night&amp;turn out the lights and just use candles, have fun with a monthly dinner with international cuisine and music. Choose a direction and walk for ten minutes that way, get silly, talk in a silly language."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #8: Be a positive mirror for your child. "Acknowledge your mistakes&amp;sing hymns, drum, chant, or pray&amp;Ask the blessing at mealtimes, say goodnight prayers, ask for a safe journey&amp;laugh&amp;List five traits you like about yourself as a child&amp;support and cheer on others&amp;yell or hold up cheering signs&amp;smile."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #9: Release the struggle. "Release you image of an ideal family and accept that children are not always going to please you. Take a quiet day, slow down, help your child create a peaceful place in her mind and imagine a restful setting. Ask your child to place his hands on his heart. Feel the beating and picture light around your home. Meditate, take a hot bath, form a parent group. Push back the furniture and allow your child to dance their energy out."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Spiritual Principle #10: Make each day a new beginning. "Validate successes at the day's end, even small ones such as waking up on time, It's alright to say no. Don't sweat the small stuff. Rethink your priorities today. Play with the idea that you have no limits. Start the morning on a peaceful note. If it means making lunches and laying out school clothes the night before, do so, get up fifteen minutes earlier. Encourage children to eat slowly. Walk like a winner. In the evening visualize how you would like tomorrow to turn out."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Start Early and Grow Spiritually Rich</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Most financial advisors show the need to start investing early in life. They love to demonstrate how a small, monthly investment, over the long haul, reaps greater financial rewards over large investments later in life. Spiritually, parents need to invest early and consistently, in small ways. But parents can start late too. In the moral and spiritual market, late can be almost as good as early, to invest.</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">"Begin today," states Doe. "Create your family rituals, celebrations, and traditions. Begin cultivating a code of honor in your family. That's spiritual parenting."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">Or as another parent on the list exclaims: "If I die tomorrow, I will have died a woman who taught her children that power within us, above us, and around us, and to always respect that power and use it in a manner that will help others the way they would want to be helped."</span><p /><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;">References:</span><br style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;" /></p> <table border="0" style="font-family: Times New Roman;" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="50%"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060952415/childfunearlychi"><img src="http://www.childfun.com/dads/doebook.gif" border="0" height="140" align="bottom" alt="" width="92" /></a></td> <td width="50%"> <p>Doe, M &amp; Walch, M. (1998). 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting. Harper Perennial, New York.<p />You can get more information on Mimi Doe and her 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting at<a href="http://www.pink-bubble.com/" target="_blank">http://www.pink-bubble.com</a></p> </td> </tr> </table> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/moral-development-of-children">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/moral-development-of-children#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/LWadSVdl2Vw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/moral-development-of-children Mon, 13 Feb 2012 07:12:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/vwT1IIic5ig/romantic-ideas-for-parents-ehowcom http://parentingtoolbox.com/romantic-ideas-for-parents-ehowcom <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote"><a href="http://img.ehowcdn.com/article-modal/ehow/images/a07/gt/c0/romantic-ideas-parents-800x800.jpg" type="modal"><img class="photo" title="There are many ways for parents to keep the love alive." src="http://img.ehowcdn.com/article-page-main/ehow/images/a07/gt/c0/romantic-ideas-parents-800x800.jpg" height="220" alt="Romantic Ideas for Parentsthumbnail" width="225" /> </a> There are many ways for parents to keep the love alive. <p class="intro">Becoming a parent is a wonderful experience for two people, but it can create a lapse in your romance. Finding ways to rekindle the flame after the arrival of <a href="http://www.ehow.com/info_7894400_romantic-ideas-parents.html#" class="itxtrst itxtrsta itxthook" rel="nofollow" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 100%; text-decoration: underline; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; padding-bottom: 1px; color: rgb(0, 100, 0); background-color: transparent; border-bottom-width: 0.1em;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);">your</span><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);"> </span><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);">children</span></a> can be complicated, but with some planning and patience, you can find romance with your spouse all over again. You might find your love bond is stronger in a whole different way.</p> <div class="RelatedSearches FLC Module" style="display: block;"> <ol class="generic"> <li class="section"> <h2 class="header Heading3">Dinner and a Movie</h2> <ul> <li class="step"> <div class="stepMeat"> <div><p>A classic date of <a href="http://www.ehow.com/info_7894400_romantic-ideas-parents.html#" class="itxtrst itxtrsta itxthook" rel="nofollow" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 100%; text-decoration: underline; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; padding-bottom: 1px; color: rgb(0, 100, 0); background-color: transparent; border-bottom-width: 0.1em;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);">dinner</span></a> and a movie can rekindle your romance as parents. Arrange for a babysitter on a Saturday or Sunday, take in a matinee and have an early dinner. You'll get to spend quality, romantic time with your significant other and get home in time to put your baby to bed. Keep things fair by allowing one spouse to choose the movie while the other gets to pick the dinner spot. Talk about yourselves and other life events, but avoid talking about the children if possible. The point of the date is to spend time with each other, remembering why you fell in love.</p></div> </div> </li> </ul> <h2 class="header Heading3">Weekend Getaway</h2> <ul> <li class="step"> <div class="stepMeat"> <div><p>Plan a weekend away to a favorite or new spot if you can arrange for a babysitter and feel comfortable enough to leave your children overnight. A spa getaway can be relaxing for both spouses, helping you to reconnect with each other. A trip to a nearby city for shopping and dinner can be enjoyable too. Keep the focus on each other and take advantage of the free time to rekindle intimacy with your spouse.</p></div> </div> </li> </ul> <h2 class="header Heading3">"Stay-cation"</h2> <ul> <li class="step"> <div class="stepMeat"> <div><p>Ask the grandparents or a close friend to keep your children overnight and have a "stay-cation." Spend the day or weekend at home, lounging in your pajamas and catching up on movies or television. Sleep in, <a href="http://www.ehow.com/info_7894400_romantic-ideas-parents.html#" class="itxtrst itxtrsta itxthook" rel="nofollow" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 100%; text-decoration: underline; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; padding-bottom: 1px; color: rgb(0, 100, 0); background-color: transparent; border-bottom-width: 0.1em;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);">make</span><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);"> </span><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" style="background-color: transparent; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit; border-bottom-width: 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: transparent; color: rgb(0, 100, 0);">love</span></a> and spend time in your hometown like you did before you had children. Enjoy the free time in your own home, but focus on spending time with your spouse. Do not use the time to clean, catch up on bills or other mundane, household tasks. Save that for another time.</p></div> </div> </li> </ul> <h2 class="header Heading3">Renew Your Wedding Vows</h2> <ul> <li class="step"> <div class="stepMeat"> <div><p>Renewing your lifelong commitment to each other after you have children can be a nice romantic gesture. Arrange to have a priest or minister renew your marriage vows, either in your own home or at a church. You can have a small reception-type gathering at your home or a local restaurant. Recreate the sentiments from your wedding, such as a toast or cutting a wedding cake. The point is to focus on your love and how it has evolved and grown stronger since you've become parents.</p></div></div></li></ul></li></ol></div></blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.ehow.com/info_7894400_romantic-ideas-parents.html">ehow.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Recommends: Valentines Day doesn't have to be expensive. Make the mood creative with a just a few simple touches. Tips for Men: Plan now!</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/romantic-ideas-for-parents-ehowcom">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/romantic-ideas-for-parents-ehowcom#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/vwT1IIic5ig" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/romantic-ideas-for-parents-ehowcom Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:45:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/2P5s0ldYso0/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive http://parentingtoolbox.com/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote"><p><img src="http://www.kinshipcenter.org/uploaded_files/fck/images/fosterparenting%2520cover%25204-15%2520small.jpg" height="180" alt="" style="margin: 5px; float: left; height: 180px;" width="130" /></p> <p> <a href="http://www.emkpress.com/fosterparenting.html"><em><strong>The Foster Parenting Toolbox </strong></em></a>covers topics from&nbsp;newborns to teens and everything in between for not only foster parents, but also those who work with foster parents: case workers, social workers, judges, CASA's, GAL’s and others. Three Kinship Center&nbsp;professionals are among the contributors.</p> <p> Edited by Kim Phagan-Hansel, the editor of <em>Fostering Families Today Magazine</em><strong>,</strong> the book features more than&nbsp;100 contributors who have helped weave a stunning tapestry of advice specifically for foster parents and the professionals and case workers who are on their team. This 464-page book is an extension of the trainings offered by individual states. It’s a top of the nightstand resource that offers today’s foster parents access to a wealth of useful information from professionals in the field and successful foster parents in the trenches. This is a book you won’t read all at once, but come back to again and again.</p></blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.kinshipcenter.org/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive-foster-care-or-any-parenting-journey.html">kinshipcenter.org</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Reports: I was honored by being asked to author one of the chapters for this newly published book on "Kinship Caregivers." Check the book out at <a href="http://www.emkpress.com/fosterparenting.html">http://www.emkpress.com/fosterparenting.html</a></p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/2P5s0ldYso0" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/some-new-parenting-books-to-help-the-adoptive Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:06:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/p8XeXwlFNiA/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners http://parentingtoolbox.com/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote> <div> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Manners" height="225" src="http://getfile7.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-02-09/AowyIDlkaGeoAxDIwxFJCtAsmezevmoCxuhHdhAmxECgsegokuDpAwFpJCaD/manners.jpg" width="225" /> </div> </p> <p>You have probably been out to a restaurant and have seen kids behaving in a decidedly unmannered way. You know the ones--elbows on the table, whining about the food, kicking the chair, getting up and running around, picking fights with siblings, yelling and crying. No one wants to be around kids like that. But, if children are never taught any better, they will never do any better. Teaching manners doesn't have to be a punishment. You can use games to make teaching manners fun.</p> <h3>Table Manners</h3> <p>Make one night formal night. This is similar to the tea party game children play. You can do this once a week or once a month to reinforce good manners. Pull out all the stops. Everyone plays dress-up like for a tea party. You set the table formally, even if some members are still using plastic dinnerware. Serve a special meal, preferably one that your children like. Use this night to show the kids how people behave at dinner, such as how to hold their forks, how to put their napkin on their lap and how to ask for food on the table. Every time your children display good manners, they get a point. If they make it to five points, they win a prize.</p> <p /> <h3>Greeting People Game</h3> <p>Shyness is the most common reason for awkward behavior when children are confronted with adults, according to the Family Education website. Turn the idea of meeting someone new into a "find-the-hidden-picture" type of game that helps teach them how to overcome their shyness. One way to start a conversation with an adult is for the child to ask questions, as long as the questions are not too personal. Make a pretend scenario. Pretend that you are a stranger and your child is entering the room. Sit at the kitchen table. Have a tennis racket on the floor, a gift with birthday wrapping paper on the table and a picture of a dog next to you. Three obvious questions your child could ask you (the stranger) would be if you play tennis, if you are going to a birthday party and if that is your dog. The game is to see how observant your child is. He wins a small prize for each appropriate question he comes up with.</p> <h3>Good Sportsmanship</h3> <p>When children and parents display bad sportsmanship, nobody wins. Once your child understands good sportsmanship, he will realize that the real winners are the players and spectators who behave with dignity, according to the Kids Health website. Make a game by showing your children videotapes of players behaving with sportsmanship and shaking hands after a game. Show another one that has players and coaches fighting, such as a hockey game or a video of a child's event where a fight breaks out. Give each child two different noisemakers, and tell them to sound one when they see good manners and the other for bad. Stop the tape when you hear the noisemaker and have the child explain why he used the noisemaker. Each child gets a point for each right answer. The winner gets a prize.</p> <h3>Manners Board Game</h3> <p>Make a board game about manners. Get a piece of cardboard and draw squares going around each side. In each square, write something that would be good manners or bad manners, such as "says thank you" or "burps at the table." Roll the dice, and when you land on a bad manner, you have to go back one space. When you land on a good manner, you can go forward two spaces.</p> <h3>Polite Polly Says</h3> <p>This game is a variation of "Simon Says," and it reinforces good manners. Your child should do what is polite and should not do what is impolite. You are Polite Polly, and when you say, "Polite Polly says to say please and thank you," the child should say, "please and thank you," if she thinks that is polite. If she does say it, she is correct and gets a point. If she doesn't, she does not get a point. The opposite happens if you say something impolite, such as, "Polite Polly says to stick out your tongue." If the child sticks out her tongue, she would not get a point, because that is impolite. If she does not stick out her tongue, she would get a point. After five points, the child gets a prize.</p> </div> </blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.modernmom.com/article/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners">modernmom.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley's Hope: Manners seem to be a lost art in our society. I can't claim to have been the best teacher to my children but we did try to cover the basics. Overall, I am happy with the results. My hope, for parents, is that they can use the power of play to teach good manners to their children.</p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership">&gt; Get more ideas to build the family of your dreams as a member of our Parents "Inner Circle" today!</a></p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/p8XeXwlFNiA" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/games-to-teach-kids-good-manners Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:24:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/Bz5rQ_qG808/5-parenting-strategies-that-work http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-parenting-strategies-that-work <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote><div> <p> </p><p>Shortly after my son was born 11 years ago, a friend of mine -- the father of three much older kids -- asked me how I was doing. At that point, I think we'd moved safely into that phase where I was no longer feeding my son every three seconds, he'd begun smiling at us, and my husband and I had more or less adjusted to this massive change in our lives.</p> <p>"It's such a great age," I commented.</p> <p>"They all are," he replied.</p> <p>It's true, they <em>are</em> all great ages and I'm continually mystified by how exciting and interesting each phase of parenting is (even when I'm going through them for the second time with my daughter.)</p> <p>But it's also an ongoing challenge to parent and one always feels a bit behind the eight ball as you try desperately to figure out how best to react (or, indeed, whether to react at all) to our children's behavior and emerging personalities.</p> <p>To that end, this week I thought I'd share some new (but really) old parenting strategies that seem to prove their value again and again:</p> <p>1. <strong>Incentives are better than punishments</strong>. When your kids misbehave -- and particularly when they do the same annoying thing repeatedly -- there's a temptation to take something away from them: no television for a week, no play dates, no dessert. But <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-affair/200809/rewards-are-better-punishment-here-s-why" target="_blank">rewards for good behavior are also much more effective than punishments for bad behavior</a>, especially for younger children. In my own case, <a href="http://realdelia.com/2010/07/tips-for-adulthood-how-to-be-less-impatient-with-your-kids/" target="_blank">my daughter takes an inordinate amount of time to get dressed in the morning</a>, producing frequent (and repetitive) conflicts. While my first instinct was to take away her computer time, I opted this week to try something new: if she can get dressed, brush hair and brush teeth each morning (and the reverse each evening) in under 10 minutes, I'll give her 50 pence a day. At the end of two weeks, if she does this consistently, she can buy a present for herself. (Bear in mind that she doesn't have allowance right now.) I explained to her that we wouldn't carry on buying gifts on a regular basis, but I'm hoping that by heaping praise on her in the next two weeks while we do this trial period, she'll internalize the positive reinforcement and want to get dressed/undressed quickly, rather than only working for the extrinsic reward. So far, so good.</p> <p>2. <strong>Hitting doesn't work</strong>. If you think that doesn't bear repeating, think again. Here in the UK where I live, a Labor politician -- who was, I kid you not, the former Education minister -- recently declared that if <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jan/29/labour-mp-blames-smacking-law-riots" target="_blank">working class parents had more freedom to hit their children</a>, we wouldn't have had the riots that broke out here last summer. No sh$!. In a poll taken not so long ago, nearly one half of British parents surveyed said that they thought that <a href="http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2011/09/20/should-teachers-hit-kids-nearly-half-of-british-parents-think-yes/?utm_source=Babble&amp;utm_campaign=7d15244224-9_219_20_2011&amp;utm_medium=email" target="_blank">teachers should be allowed to hit children</a> to keep them in line. This, despite mounds of evidence showing that while <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/spanking-kids_b_1241521.html" target="_blank">spanking is very effective in the short run for altering a child's behavior</a>, in the long run it is completely counter-productive.</p> <p>3. <strong>Understand where your kids are at, developmentally.</strong> Like many parents, I was absolutely fascinated by a <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577181351486558984.html" target="_blank">recent article by Alison Gopnik in the <em>Wall Street Journal</em> </a>about the teenage mind. The upshot of the article is that teenagers are hitting puberty -- and all the attendant hormonal, risk-taking changes in attitude this phase of life produces -- much earlier than ever before, while becoming "adults" (in the sense of assuming responsibility for their own lives) ever later. The result is that their emotional development is out of sync with their ability to exert judgment and self-control in a way that it wasn't even 20 years ago. Once I read this, I thought, Eureka! So that's why my 11-year-old loves listening to rap music but can't be bothered to <a href="http://realdelia.com/2011/05/tips-for-adulthood-five-life-skills-for-ten-year-olds/" target="_blank">cut with a knife and fork properly</a>.</p> <p>4. <strong>Don't micro-manage</strong>. I attended my son's parent-teacher meetings earlier this week and was told by several of his teachers, independently, that they felt that while he had come into the school year a bit jumpy and unsettled, over the course of the year he had really calmed down. As a fellow manic, I can't really criticize him too much on this score -- the apple, as they say, doesn't fall far from the tree. But I couldn't help but wonder if my own <a href="http://realdelia.com/2012/01/tips-for-adulthood-make-new-years-resolutions-and-keep-them/" target="_blank">New Year's resolution to chill out and try to control him less </a>wasn't helping, in part, to chill him out in other parts of his life. Coincidence? Maybe. But I'm going to press on with this resolution -- despite temptations to "fall off the wagon" -- and see if I keep observing positive change.</p> <p>5. <strong>Keep reading books by Faber and Mazlish</strong>. Believe it or not, I do think that you can over-train yourself in the art of parenting. Some of it has to be instinctual -- and based, crucially, on your particular child's nature -- or you'll drive yourself insane. But I will put in a plug for two books by parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish that I will stand by: <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/0380811960" target="_blank">How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk</a></em>, as well as their companion volume, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0380799006/ref=pd_vtp_b_1" target="_blank">Siblings Without Rivalry</a></em>. I remember parenting blogger Lisa Belkin saying that for many years, <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/24/raising-siblings-to-be-friends/" target="_blank">she and her husband kept dog-eared copies of these books</a> by their respective bedsides. Ditto.</p> <p>What tried and true parenting strategies work for you?</p> <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <b> Follow Delia Lloyd on Twitter: <a href="http://www.twitter.com/realdelia"> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/realdelia">www.twitter.com/realdelia</a> </a> </b> </p> </div></blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/delia-lloyd/parenting-advice_b_1261961.html?utm_source=Alert-blogger&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=Email%2BNotifications">huffingtonpost.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley's Applause: I love it when someone gets the basics of parenting correct. You would be surprised how many "experts" do not. For me, basics need to be basic. The simpler the better for parents to remember what and how to react in a crisis situation. This blogger has some useful points for parents to follow. Can you add to them?</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-parenting-strategies-that-work">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-parenting-strategies-that-work#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/Bz5rQ_qG808" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/5-parenting-strategies-that-work Sun, 05 Feb 2012 07:45:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/TEywg-M_XWY/letting-go-of-grudges http://parentingtoolbox.com/letting-go-of-grudges <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote><div> <p><i>"To err is human; to forgive, infrequent."<br /> - Franklin P. Adams</i></p> <p>Maybe it was the relative who said something hurtful, the co-worker who stole credit for your idea, or the lover who cheated on you. Whatever happened, you were left feeling angry, hurt, and bitter, and you have held onto those emotions, in some cases for years.</p> <p>But a&nbsp;grudge is no life preserver. It's not a healthy thing to hang onto. In fact, holding grudges can harm you both physically and mentally.</p> <p><span>When you hold a grudge, your body behaves as if it's under stress, with the stress hormones kicking into high gear. This can raise your blood pressure, increase your heart rate, and lower your immune system. It can also steal your energy and set you up for <a>depression</a> and other mental health problems.</span></p> <p>By contrast, when you release a grudge your blood pressure goes down, your heart rate drops, and you are less likely to have psychological symptoms.</p> <p>Forgiveness is not always easy to achieve. It may take time and effort on your part, and you have to be ready to do the work. But if you succeed, it can have real benefits for your own well-being.</p> <p><b>Understanding forgiveness<br /> </b>Forgiveness is letting go of anger and resentment about past events. It does <i>not</i> mean you forget what happened or that you approve of what was done. It means altering how you view the situation. You can't change what happened, but you can change your attitude about it and reduce its power over you.</p> <p>Forgiveness is not done for the person who harmed you but to help <i>you.</i> The goal is to free yourself of the negative consequences of carrying anger inside you.</p> <p>If you are in an abusive relationship, though, your main focus should be on getting out of the situation for good. You can work on forgiveness later, when you are safe.</p> <p><b>Letting go<br /> </b>Try these tips to help you let go of a grudge:</p> <ul type="disc"> <li><b>Write down your thoughts and emotions.</b> Think about what upset you and how it makes you feel. Writing can help you get perspective on the event.</li> <li><b>Try to understand what happened.</b> Often people do and say hurtful things without thinking of the harm they can cause. They may later regret their actions. Chances are you've done this yourself. If you think of a time you hurt someone, it may help you understand what happened. Understanding does not mean you approve.</li> <li><b>Decide if you are ready to forgive.</b> Sometimes it takes a long time to get to this point. Being ready is the biggest step to forgiveness.</li> <li><b>Don't wait for an apology.</b> Remember, this is an internal process, something you are doing for yourself. You do not need to have a relationship with the person to practice forgiveness.</li> <li><b>Work through the emotions.</b><span> It may help to write about your feelings, pray, or <a>meditate</a>.</span></li> <li><b>Seek support if you need it.</b> You may want to talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or a therapist. Someone who is neutral may help you gain new insight.</li> </ul> </div></blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.myoptumhealth.com/portal/Information/item/Letting+Go+of+Grudges?archiveChannel=Home%2FArticle&amp;remBrdCrumb=true">myoptumhealth.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Relates: It is amazing how many of our parenting problems have to do with things we don't typically think of as "parenting". Unforgiveness can be one of the biggest hindrances to relating to our children and partner.</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/letting-go-of-grudges">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/letting-go-of-grudges#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/TEywg-M_XWY" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/letting-go-of-grudges Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:22:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/y-ZqwxbdGTE/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps-for-you http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps-for-you <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote><p /> <div style=""><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/schnaars/3978316556/"><img src="http://mindshift.kqed.org/files/2011/09/edu_apps.jpg" height="300" alt="" width="300" /></a><p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/schnaars/3978316556/"></a></p><p></p> <p>schnaars</p> </div> <p>There are a lot of amazing new educational apps out there, whether you’re looking for native apps or Web apps, apps for your mobile phone, for your tablet, or for your laptop. There a number of app stores too where you can find and download them: Apple’s iTunes and its Mac App Store, the Amazon Appstore, Google’s Android Market, the Chrome Web Store, the Google Apps Marketplace, GetJar, and so on.</p> <p>These app stores all offer products in a designated education category, ostensibly designed to make it easier to locate apps for learning and studying (as opposed to apps for productivity or for entertainment, although sometimes these categories do overlap). But having an education category doesn’t necessarily make it easier to locate quality apps, as any cursory search there will quickly show you. Apps for teaching pre-schoolers the alphabet are grouped alongside those for studying calculus or human anatomy. Spanish for Beginners flash cards are found next to GRE test preparation.</p> <div>When you’re spending money on these apps, those $1.99 charges add up.</div> <p>Take, for example, a look at the educational apps in iTunes. The category highlights the top paid and top free apps, that is, listing them in terms of download and sales numbers. It also features “New and Noteworthy” applications, as well as “Staff Favorites.” But these are a wide variety of <span></span>apps: Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream for your iPhone and an interactive Winnie the Pooh e-book.</p> <p>This problem with very broad categorization exists outside the education category, too. If you search, say, for “science,” you’ll get some science magazines, some reference apps, and some not-safe-for-work results too.</p> <p>iTunes does offer a ratings system, as do all the major app stores, whereby users can give apps zero to five stars and can write detailed reviews of their experiences with the app. But this too is frequently an unreliable way to discover new and interesting applications. Oftentimes, like websites such as Yelp, those who leave these reviews have either had terrible experiences with the app (“It crashes every time I use it”) or rave about it uncritically (“This is my preschooler’s favorite app.”) Too often, there are so few reviews, it’s hard to know whether customers’ responses are typical or not.</p> <p>Although sites like the Google Apps Marketplace do try to help the review process by highlighting those tools that have been reviewed by a “Verified User” (in other words, by a real customer rather than a fictitious account created just for the purposes of boosting ratings), these ratings aren’t weighted more heavily or any differently than anonymous reviews. An app can have 20 anonymous five-star reviews, and without a closer look, it’s easy to mistake that as something better than an app that’s got only five reviews, but all from verified accounts.</p> <p>The alternative, of course, to searching through App Stores and taking your best guess based on the review information there is to rely on the recommendation of people you know. Indeed, word-of-mouth remains one of the most important ways that developers can sell and buyers can find quality applications. Several educational blogs write detailed reviews of new educational apps, and sites like <a href="http://momswithapps.com/">Moms With Apps</a> try to showcase “family-friendly” developers’ work. And while “caveat emptor” holds true in app purchases as with anything you buy, one has to wonder if there aren’t better ways to help showcase quality apps.</p> <p>It’s one thing, of course, when the applications are free. If you download a new educational game and you find that it’s not fun and not smart, it’s easy to simply delete it. But the stakes are higher once you’re looking at spending money on these apps (those $1.99 charges add up), particularly since the return policy for app marketplaces is limited: Android apps can be returned within 15 minutes, but iOS apps are non-refundable.</p> <p>Readers, how do you find quality educational apps? What changes would you make to the app stores to give consumers better information, particularly when it comes to educational apps?</p> </blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://mindshift.kqed.org/2011/09/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps/">mindshift.kqed.org</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Learns: How many parents have a smartphone or tabet that a child doesn't want to play with? If there are going to use your digital device it is a good idea to have child safe apps for them to play and learn!</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps-for-you">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps-for-you#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/y-ZqwxbdGTE" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-do-you-find-good-educational-apps-for-you Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:35:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/lvAsWviniM0/magical-thinking-memories-jar http://parentingtoolbox.com/magical-thinking-memories-jar <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote"><p><span class="full-image-inline" style="color: #0000ff;"><span><img src="http://inchmark.squarespace.com/storage/thumbnails/2677167-1900598-thumbnail.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1220996599792" alt="" style="cursor: pointer !important; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial;" /></span></span></p> <p>Children say the funniest things, yet all too often, I seem to forget them after a day or two. &nbsp;I'll start telling my husband.. "C said the funniest thing..." and then I can't quite remember. Or I get it a little mixed up and it's not nearly as funny as I remember.</p> <p>So I started writing down the funnier moments of the day. I keep a jar on my desk, and when the kids say something particularly worthy of recording, I grab a scrap of paper (phone bill, envelope, chopstick holder.. whatever is lying around) and I quickly jot it down. I read about Joan Didion doing something similar when her daughter was a young girl in&nbsp;<span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400078431/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top">The Year of Magical Thinking</a>.</span></p></blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://inchmark.squarespace.com/inchmark/2008/9/9/magical-thinking.html">inchmark.squarespace.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Reply: Children life in the the magical world of imagination and mystery. Use this to your advantage as a parent and start to collect little memories of times together. Leave messages for your child at night when they go to sleep and let them reply. Keep the conversations for the tougher days ahead.</p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/magical-thinking-memories-jar">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/magical-thinking-memories-jar#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/lvAsWviniM0" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/magical-thinking-memories-jar Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:12:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/5ZtZTqTcs24/how-to-stop-or-deal-with-backtalk-and-talking http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-to-stop-or-deal-with-backtalk-and-talking <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote"> <p>As a parent, sometimes it seems like your day is filled with an endless stream of backtalk from your kids&mdash;you hear it when you ask them to do chores, when you tell them it&rsquo;s time to stop watching TV, and when you lay down rules they don&rsquo;t like. It&rsquo;s one of the most frustrating and exhausting things that we deal with when we raise our kids.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <div>&ldquo;Your job as a parent is not to get your child to accept the rationality of your decisions. You just need them to follow the rules.&rdquo;</div> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Backtalk comes from a sense of powerlessness and frustration. People don&rsquo;t like to feel powerless, and that includes children. So when kids are told &ldquo;no&rdquo; they feel like something&rsquo;s been taken from them. They often feel compelled to fill that empty space with backtalk. I want to make the distinction here between backtalk and verbal abuse, because many times people confuse these two very different things. If your child has started saying hurtful or harmful things, the line between backtalk and verbal abuse has been crossed. For instance, if a child is cursing you, calling you names or threatening you, that&rsquo;s verbal abuse. If your child is saying, &ldquo;This isn&rsquo;t fair, you don&rsquo;t understand, you don&rsquo;t love me,&rdquo; that&rsquo;s backtalk.</p> <p>Verbal abuse is a very negative behavior and has to be dealt with aggressively and up front. It&rsquo;s not that backtalk is harmless, but it&rsquo;s certainly not as hurtful and hostile and attacking as verbal abuse is. For parents who are dealing with verbal abuse in their home right now, rest assured that we&rsquo;ll be addressing this topic in an upcoming article.</p> <p>Backtalk itself can take several forms. One is the kid who can&rsquo;t keep quiet, no matter what you say: he or she has got to have the last word. And then there&rsquo;s the child who wants you to understand their point after you&rsquo;ve already said &ldquo;no.&rdquo; It&rsquo;s easy for kids to get into the mindset of, &ldquo;If I could just explain it better, you&rsquo;d understand my situation.&rdquo; So you&rsquo;ll get kids who present their problem or request repeatedly in the hopes that their parents will give in and respond to it. If their parents don&rsquo;t give them the answer they want, those kids will then try to re-explain, as if the parent doesn&rsquo;t understand. Often, as they launch into their explanation for the third or fourth time, the child and the parent will both get more frustrated until it ends up in an argument or a shouting match.</p> <p><strong>Don&rsquo;t Respond to Backtalk: You&rsquo;ve already set the limit</strong><br /> Why do parents react to backtalk after they&rsquo;ve already won the argument? I think parents often see it as their job to respond to their children: to teach, train and set limits on them. And backtalk is an invitation to do just that. Just as the child re-explains things to the parent if they&rsquo;re told &ldquo;no,&rdquo; the parent &ldquo;talks back&rdquo; and re-explains things to their child. So the parent&rsquo;s mindset seems to be, &ldquo;If you really understood what I was saying, you wouldn&rsquo;t talk back to me&mdash;you&rsquo;d accept my answer.&rdquo; Let me be clear here: That&rsquo;s not a rational mindset. It leads parents into attending and prolonging arguments in which they don&rsquo;t need to engage. Parents sometimes see backtalk as a challenge to their authority, but as long as you accomplish your objective, the fact is that your authority is fully intact.</p> <p>Here&rsquo;s an example:</p> <p>Your child: &ldquo;Can I stay out until 10 tonight?&rdquo;<br /> You: &ldquo;No, because you have to get up early tomorrow for soccer practice.&rdquo;<br /> Your child: &ldquo;Who cares? I don&rsquo;t need that much sleep.&rdquo;</p> <p>You should stop right there. Any conversation you engage in after that is meant to convince your child that you have sound judgment. Know this: that&rsquo;s the wrong objective because it addresses a completely different issue&mdash;whether or not you made a good decision. So once you give a reasonable explanation for the rule you&rsquo;ve stated, your job is done. You can repeat it again if need be. You&rsquo;ve already won the fight. But when you try to convince your child that you&rsquo;re right and they continue to challenge you through backtalk, you&rsquo;re just going to get more frustrated. Your job as a parent is not to get your child to accept the reasonableness and rationality of your decisions. You just need them to follow the rules. Look at it this way: when a cop stops you for speeding, he doesn&rsquo;t care if you think that 35 miles an hour is too slow. He just tells you what the law is. If you argue with him, he repeats what the law is. If you don&rsquo;t accept it, he hands you your ticket and walks away. If you become verbally abusive, he arrests you. Try to think of yourself as the cop here&mdash;you&rsquo;re the parent making the rules, and your child needs to accept them or pay the consequences.</p> <p><strong>Shutting Down Backtalk: The Plan</strong><br /> In order to put a stop to backtalk, there are several things you have to do. First of all, when things are good, sit down with your child and lay down some ground rules. Discussions about these rules are critical to good communication and to cooperation down the road. I guarantee that you&rsquo;ll feel better as a parent if you set up rules and follow them with your children. Your goal then becomes following the ground rules instead of trying to achieve your child&rsquo;s acceptance. The first rule is, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll explain something once and I&rsquo;m not going to talk more after that. If you try to argue or debate, I&rsquo;m going to walk away. If you follow me or if you continue there will be consequences.&rdquo; You set limits on backtalk and you don&rsquo;t give it power.</p> <p>Another option is to set up a certain time of day in which your kid <em>can</em> talk back to you. You can say to them, &ldquo;From 7-7:10 p.m., you can ask me to re-explain all my decisions. Save it for then. If you need to, write it down in a journal. Then at 7 o&rsquo;clock, we&rsquo;ll sit down and I&rsquo;ll explain to you why you can&rsquo;t date a 22 year old or how come you got grounded for smoking. But at 7:15, our discussion is done. If you try to keep it going there will be consequences.&rdquo; That way, if you feel like you want to give your child an outlet to air his or her grievances, there&rsquo;s a way to do it without getting bogged down in constant arguing.</p> <p>Remember, there are two kinds of days that a kid has: there are good days and then there are days when things don&rsquo;t go their way. Don&rsquo;t try to fight the tide of disappointment that kids experience. They will use backtalk to get their way, but as a parent, you have to accept the fact that they will not always be happy with your decisions. Your job is to set the rules and enforce them because those roles are for your kid&rsquo;s development and safety. Whether they like those rules or not, they have to learn to live with them.</p> </blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.empoweringparents.com/How-to-Stop-Your-Kids-Backtalk.php">empoweringparents.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Respects: I have a lot of respect for James Lehman's Total Transformation Program. Give him a look see and join our Parents "Inner Circle" for even more parenting help.</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-to-stop-or-deal-with-backtalk-and-talking">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-to-stop-or-deal-with-backtalk-and-talking#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/5ZtZTqTcs24" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/how-to-stop-or-deal-with-backtalk-and-talking Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:41:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/DDGmXU5V-no/depressed-teenagers-problem-risks-signs-and-s http://parentingtoolbox.com/depressed-teenagers-problem-risks-signs-and-s <p> <p><span style="background-color: #ffffdc; font-family: arial, helvetica;"> <p style="font-size: medium; font-family: arial, helvetica;"><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <a href="http://getfile0.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-01-23/HwEqydgruHFEmJzavsnEEFdmrlAEnvtBFeJCdwuhebgEblquJkwfzjtGDvpo/teenage-depression.jpg.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Teenage-depression" height="255" src="http://getfile0.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-01-23/HwEqydgruHFEmJzavsnEEFdmrlAEnvtBFeJCdwuhebgEblquJkwfzjtGDvpo/teenage-depression.jpg.scaled595.jpg" width="595" /></a> </div> </p> <table> <tr valign="top"> <td><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"> </span><p>Is your child sad or appear to have no affect at all? Is your child preoccupied with the topic of death or other morbid topics? Has your son or daughter expressed suicidal thoughts or ideas? Are they extremely moody or irritable beyond the normal hormonal twists and turns of childhood? Has there been a drastic change in your child&rsquo;s eating or sleeping patterns? If you answered yes to any of these questions, your child may be suffering from a common but devastating mental health disorder, called depression.</p> <p>The Problem:</p> <p>Depression occurs in 8 percent of all adolescent lives. Research indicates that children, in general, are becoming depressed earlier in live. The implications of this is that the earlier the onset of the illness the longer and more chronic the problem. Studies suggest that depression often persists, recurs, and continues into adulthood, and indicates that depression in youth may also predict more severe illness in adult life. Depression in young people often co-occurs with other mental disorders, most commonly anxiety, disruptive behavior, or substance abuse disorders, and with physical illnesses, such as diabetes.</p> <p>The Risks:</p> <p>Teenagers often turn to substances to &ldquo;self-medicate&rdquo; the feelings of depression. They reject prescribed medications because of the way it makes them feel and because of the negative social implications of being labeled as depressed. Drinking alcohol and using other substances may make teenagers feel better for a short period of time but the need to continually use these substances to feel &ldquo;high&rdquo; creates dependence and poses a serious health risk. Depression in adolescence is also associated with an increased risk of suicidal behavior. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 10 to 24-year-olds and as much as 7 percent of all depressed teens will make a suicide attempt.</p> <p>The Signs:</p> <p>Signs that frequently accompany depression in adolescence include: &middot; Frequent vague, non-specific physical complaints such as headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches or tiredness &middot; Frequent absences from school or poor school performance &middot; Talk of or efforts to run away from home &middot; Outbursts of shouting, complaining, unexplained irritability, or crying &middot; Being bored &middot; Lack of interest in playing with friends &middot; Alcohol or substance abuse &middot; Social isolation, poor communication &middot; Fear of death &middot; Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure &middot; Increased irritability, anger, or hostility &middot; Reckless behavior &middot; Difficulty with relationships</p> <p>Parents often witness these warning signs but fail to act on them. Why? Because some teens hide the symptoms from their parents or parents chalk it up to a stage or moodiness. Many teenagers go through a time of dark looking/acting behavior with all black clothing and bizarre hair arrangements. This can throw a parent off of the trail of depression by the bewilderment of teen actions and behaviors. In addition, many teens react aggressively when confronted about possible depression by their parents causing mom and dad to back off.</p> <p>The Solutions:</p> <p>When dealing with teen depression, it is always better to &ldquo;be safe than sorry.&rdquo; Coping with an adolescent&rsquo;s anger is much easier to deal with then handling his or her successful suicide or overdose. When parents notice first notice the signs of depression, it is important to sit down with their teen and ask them, gently but firmly, if they are feeling depressed or suicidal. Contrary to popular belief, asking a child if he or she has had any thoughts of hurting or killing themselves does not cause them to act on that subject. If the teen rejects the idea that they are depressed and continues to show warning signs, it will be necessary to seek professional help.</p> <p>If the child acknowledges that he or she is depressed, immediately contact your physician and seek the assistance of a mental health professional that works with children and adolescents. In addition, parents can help their teen by confronting self-defeating behaviors and thoughts by pointing out their positive attributes and value. Parents may need to prompt their teen to eat, sleep, exercise, and perform basic hygiene tasks on a daily basis. Doing these daily routines can dramatically help improve mood. Try to direct the teen to hang out with positive peers. Steer them away from other depressed adolescents. Explore underlying feelings of anger, hurt, and loss. Even the smallest loss of a friend or pet can intensify feelings of sadness. Allow the teen to talk, draw, or journal about their feelings without judgment. And for suicidal teens, make a &ldquo;no-harm&rdquo; contract for 24 to 48 hours at a time when they will not hurt themselves.</p> <p>With proper care and treatment, depression can be alleviated and suicidal behaviors prevented. Parents and teen may even find a new, deeper relationship developing between them as they work through the dark feelings of depression.</p> <p>Reference:</p> <p>National Institute of Mental Health Web Site. &ldquo;Children and Depression: A Fact Sheet for Physicians.&rdquo; (2001) <a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depchildresfact.cfm">http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depchildresfact.cfm</a></p> </td></tr></table></span> </p> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/depressed-teenagers-problem-risks-signs-and-s">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/depressed-teenagers-problem-risks-signs-and-s#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/DDGmXU5V-no" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/depressed-teenagers-problem-risks-signs-and-s Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:30:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/sx-uRgAg8MQ/new-definition-of-autism-may-exclude-many-stu http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-definition-of-autism-may-exclude-many-stu <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote> <div> <p>The definition is now being reassessed by an expert panel appointed by the <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/organizations/a/american_psychiatric_assn/index.html?inline=nyt-org" title="More articles about American Psychiatric Association">American Psychiatric Association</a>, which is completing work on the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the first major revision in 17 years. The D.S.M., as the manual is known, is the standard reference for mental disorders, driving research, treatment and insurance decisions. Most experts expect that the new manual will narrow the criteria for autism; the question is how sharply.</p> <p>The results of the new analysis are preliminary, but they offer the most drastic estimate of how tightening the criteria for autism could affect the rate of diagnosis. For years, many experts have privately contended that the vagueness of the current criteria for autism and related disorders like <a href="http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/asperger-syndrome/overview.html?inline=nyt-classifier" title="In-depth reference and news articles about Asperger syndrome.">Asperger syndrome</a> was contributing to the increase in the rate of diagnoses &mdash; which has ballooned to one child in 100, according to some estimates.</p> <p>The <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/health/diseasesconditionsandhealthtopics/psychiatry_and_psychiatrists/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier" title="Recent and archival health news about psychiatrists.">psychiatrists</a>&rsquo; association is wrestling with one of the most agonizing questions in <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/health/diseasesconditionsandhealthtopics/mentalhealthanddisorders/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier" title="Recent and archival health news about mental health and disorders.">mental health</a> &mdash; where to draw the line between unusual and abnormal &mdash; and its decisions are sure to be wrenching for some families. At a time when school budgets for special education are stretched, the new diagnosis could herald more pitched battles. Tens of thousands of people receive state-backed services to help offset the disorders&rsquo; disabling effects, which include sometimes severe learning and social problems, and the diagnosis is in many ways central to their lives. Close networks of parents have bonded over common experiences with children; and the children, too, may grow to find a sense of their own identity in their struggle with the disorder.</p> <p>The proposed changes would probably exclude people with a diagnosis who were higher functioning. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m very concerned about the change in diagnosis, because I wonder if my daughter would even qualify,&rdquo; said Mary Meyer of Ramsey, N.J. A diagnosis of Asperger syndrome was crucial to helping her daughter, who is 37, gain access to services that have helped tremendously. &ldquo;She&rsquo;s on disability, which is partly based on the Asperger&rsquo;s; and I&rsquo;m hoping to get her into supportive housing, which also depends on her diagnosis.&rdquo;</p> <p>The new analysis, presented Thursday at a meeting of the Icelandic Medical Association, opens a debate about just how many people the proposed diagnosis would affect.</p> <p>The changes would narrow the diagnosis so much that it could effectively end the autism surge, said Dr. Fred R. Volkmar, director of the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine and an author of the new analysis of the proposal. &ldquo;We would nip it in the bud.&rdquo;</p> <p>Experts working for the Psychiatric Association on the manual&rsquo;s new definition &mdash; a group from which Dr. Volkmar resigned early on &mdash; strongly disagree about the proposed changes&rsquo; impact. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know how they&rsquo;re getting those numbers,&rdquo; Catherine Lord, a member of the task force working on the diagnosis, said about Dr. Volkmar&rsquo;s report.</p> <p>Previous projections have concluded that far fewer people would be excluded under the change, said Dr. Lord, director of the Institute for Brain Development, a joint project of NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, Weill Medical College of Cornell University, Columbia University Medical Center and the New York Center for Autism.</p> <p>Disagreement about the effect of the new definition will almost certainly increase scrutiny of the finer points of the psychiatric association&rsquo;s changes to the manual. The revisions are about 90 percent complete and will be final by December, according to Dr. David J. Kupfer, a professor of <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/health/diseasesconditionsandhealthtopics/psychiatry_and_psychiatrists/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier" title="Recent and archival health news about psychiatry.">psychiatry</a> at the University of Pittsburgh and chairman of the task force making the revisions.</p> <p>At least a million children and adults have a diagnosis of autism or a related disorder, like Asperger syndrome or &ldquo;pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified,&rdquo; also known as P.D.D.-N.O.S. People with Asperger&rsquo;s or P.D.D.-N.O.S. endure some of the same social struggles as those with autism but do not meet the definition for the full-blown version. The proposed change would consolidate all three diagnoses under one category, autism spectrum disorder, eliminating Asperger syndrome and P.D.D.-N.O.S. from the manual. Under the current criteria, a person can qualify for the diagnosis by exhibiting 6 or more of 12 behaviors; under the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/01/20/health/20autism.html" title="The D.S.M.-V proposal on autism spectrum disorder.">proposed definition</a>, the person would have to exhibit 3 deficits in social interaction and communication and at least 2 repetitive behaviors, a much narrower menu.</p> <p>Dr. Kupfer said the changes were an attempt to clarify these variations and put them under one name. Some advocates have been concerned about the proposed changes.</p> <p>&ldquo;Our fear is that we are going to take a big step backward,&rdquo; said Lori Shery, president of the Asperger Syndrome Education Network. &ldquo;If clinicians say, &lsquo;These kids don&rsquo;t fit the criteria for an autism spectrum diagnosis,&rsquo; they are not going to get the supports and services they need, and they&rsquo;re going to experience failure.&rdquo;</p> <div><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/research/new-autism-definition-would-exclude-many-study-suggests.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=1&amp;emc=eta1#" title="Next Page">Next Page &raquo;</a></div> <div> <p>Amy Harmon contributed reporting.</p> </div> <p>&nbsp;</p> </div> </blockquote> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/research/new-autism-definition-would-exclude-many-study-suggests.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=1&amp;emc=eta1">nytimes.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley's Reply: The DSM 5 (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) is one of those necessary evils. We need it for mental health professionals to communicate with one another and for qualifications for reimbursement through insurance companies or treatment services. We hate it because it labels people and can stigmatize them for life. How have you loved or hate your child's diagnosis? Share with us by clicking the reply link.</p> <p>&gt; Get more power parenting tools as a member of our Parenting Toolbox "Inner Circle" at <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership">http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership</a></p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-definition-of-autism-may-exclude-many-stu">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-definition-of-autism-may-exclude-many-stu#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/sx-uRgAg8MQ" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-definition-of-autism-may-exclude-many-stu Sat, 21 Jan 2012 11:36:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/50pYkme59j4/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use http://parentingtoolbox.com/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Media_httpdnabrainblo_wnzrg" height="200" src="http://getfile8.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/parentingtoolbox/hICmhmhsebuHBvJhtaeEchImcEBAsJDrAtkfnjHaDsqGDufzECyzImHxBekg/media_httpdnabrainblo_wnzrG.jpg.scaled595.jpg" width="300" /> </div> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://brainblogger.com/2012/01/21/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use-later-in-life/?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GNIFBrainBlogger+%28Brain+Blogger%29">brainblogger.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Responds: This repost from Brain Blogger outlines how children who are chronically aggressive at children has increased risks of health issues later in life. The most obvious reason for this is that angry children turn out to be angry adults, which has serious social and health costs. The 15-year longitudinal study revealed that aggressive lifestyles led to increase drug use, alcohol dependency, injuries and overall poor health. Anger takes a toll on our lives! </p><p>The blog states: "Young children can be physically aggressive, owing to a combination of instinct, temperament, cultural and social influences, and (sometimes) not getting what they want. But, by the time most kids reach preschool age, they have learned to control their aggression with coping skills and relational techniques. However, children who do not learn to regulate aggressive behavior are at risk for physical and mental health issues, as well as serious patterns of aggression and violence, as adults." </p><p>Children have to learn social skills. They will hit, bite, or knock other children down as a very primal solution to who "gets to play the toy" or any other challenging social situation. Parents have the responsibility to model appropriate social behavior and teach children common social skills. </p><p>Homes with lots of stress and conflict can make teaching children how to get along with others as they look for a release valve for their anxiety. This can turn inward or outward depending on the temperament of the child. The solution to this, while not always simple, is to have healthier marriages and improve family communication. </p><p>How have you managed anger in children? What tips can you share on teaching social skills? </p><p>> Get more power parenting tools in our Parenting "Inner Circle" at <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership">http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership</a></p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/50pYkme59j4" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/childhood-aggression-predicts-health-care-use Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:29:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/oa_6BrbSDsw/new-kindle-ebook-101-parenting-tools http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-kindle-ebook-101-parenting-tools <p> <p style="text-align: left;">We are excited to announce our latest ebook formatted for the Amazon Kindle:&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><br /></strong></span></p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="101frontcoversmall" height="218" src="http://getfile6.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-01-20/mFmmpbgInlnmuAEdfgAcDloFiygIkaajrDEzzlkdbbmarDfDHponCzasyeDm/101frontcoversmall.JPG.scaled595.jpg" width="150" /> </div> <br /></strong></span></p> <p style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="font-size: small;"><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/101-Parenting-Tools-ebook/dp/B006Y6ET4C/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1326742020&amp;sr=1-1">Click here to get it hot off the electronic press!</a></strong></span></em></p> <p style="text-align: left;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="">Parents need the right tools for the job. Get 101 Parenting Tools from family therapist Ron Huxley and his popular ParentingToolbox.com website. This 53 page ebook gives an A-Z guide on how manage the toughest parenting problems. In addition, each tool lists the age of the child and parenting style (balance of love and limits) it is best suited for...get it and start taking back control of your home today!</span></p> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-kindle-ebook-101-parenting-tools">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-kindle-ebook-101-parenting-tools#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/oa_6BrbSDsw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/new-kindle-ebook-101-parenting-tools Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:15:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/G14rifciNlE/teenage-drug-use-preventing-and-treating http://parentingtoolbox.com/teenage-drug-use-preventing-and-treating <p> <p> <p>Teenage drug use is a severe problem in our society. It is a big concern for parents with very few clear directions on how to parents should prevent it from occurring in the first place. This is due to the fact that it is a subject that is considered "taboo" in our society leading to parents avoiding talking about the risks and dangers. It should be no surprise, then, that over-indulgent parents tend to have children with the highest drug abuse problems.</p> <p>The problem of teenage drug abuse is huge.&nbsp; According to the US Center for Disease Control, approximately 75% of teenagers have tried alcohol, 35% of teens have used marijuana at least once and almost 20% of teens currently use it regularly. Reports from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health state those 5.2 million youths ages 12 and older used non-medical pain killers within the month prior to being surveyed.&nbsp; It is reported that drug use has affected the lives of nearly 40 percent of all teenagers in America. This would include health problems, driving under the influence, highway crashes, arrests, impaired school and job performance. The drugs that teenagers most often use range from Alcohol, LSD, Marijuana, and tobacco products, to name just a few.&nbsp;</p> <p>Signs that your teenager might be using drugs include: loss of interest in family activities, sudden increase or decrease in appetite, disrespect for family rules, disappearance of valuable items or money, lying about activities, verbally or physically abusive interactions between the teen and the rest of the family, secretive behaviors, and/or excuses for bad behavior. Other warning signs include missing prescription drugs, finding cigarette rolling papers, pipes, small glass vials, plastic baggies or remnants of drugs, use of incense or room deodorant to hide smoke or chemical odors, and using breath mints or mouth wash to cover up the smell of alcohol.</p> <p>If your child has any of these signs, it is important to address those concerns directly. Don't be in denial or fear your child's anger at your questions or concerns about drug use. Better a little negative reaction from your teen then allowing a problem to move from use to abuse and long-term addiction or death. Permissiveness is as big a factor as peer pressure when it comes to why teenagers use drugs or alcohol.</p> <p>As much as teenagers attempt to reject being like their parents, they do view their actions as role models. The positive side of this is that parents who handle the problem with directness and empathy will have a better chance at treating the teenager&rsquo;s drug use and maintaining a healthy relationship. The negative side is that parents who abuse drugs and alcohol themselves cannot preach what they do not practice. Additionally, parents who react in an overly hostile manner toward their children will reinforce the very problem they are trying to stop.</p> <p>Protective factors that will help parents prevent or treat drug use include learning better family communication skills, appropriate discipline styles, firm and consistent rule enforcement, and other positive family management approaches. Research confirms the benefits of talking to children about drugs, monitoring their activities, getting to know their friends, understanding their problems and concerns, and being involved in their school activities.</p> <p>If you are a parent that is looking for teenage drug treatment and teenage rehab centers there are many options available.&nbsp; You can look into detoxification, residential rehabilitation, an intensive outpatient program, or an aftercare/continuing care program.</p> <p>For the successful fruition of the drug treatment program the role played by the family is very vital. Drug addiction is a problem that affects not only the individual but also the family members. The family should act as a support system for the recovering patients. For these teenagers to be able to stay clean and free of drugs they need the involvement and support of their family.</p> <p>An addicted teenager must be given timely and proper help from a professional source to take care of their condition. For proper treatment a correct diagnosis of the condition is very vital at the beginning. During the recovery process at a teenage drug treatment center a patient goes through a treatment procedure that suits them and their requirements. Drug abuse has several physical and emotional challenges which must be dealt with in a highly professional and caring manner.</p> <p><strong>&gt; <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership">JOIN OUR INNER PARENTING CIRCLE MEMBERSHIP AND GET MORE PARENTING TOOLS TO BUILD THE FAMILY OF YOUR DREAMS...LEARN MORE!</a></strong></p> </p> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/teenage-drug-use-preventing-and-treating">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/teenage-drug-use-preventing-and-treating#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/G14rifciNlE" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/teenage-drug-use-preventing-and-treating Tue, 10 Jan 2012 07:13:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/3we3g12kk9I/adora-svitak-what-adults-can-learn-from-kids http://parentingtoolbox.com/adora-svitak-what-adults-can-learn-from-kids <p> <p> <object height="374" width="526"> <param name="movie" value="http://video.ted.com/assets/player/swf/EmbedPlayer.swf" /> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /> <param name="wmode" value="transparent" /> <param name="bgColor" value="#ffffff" /> <param name="flashvars" value="vu=http://video.ted.com/talk/stream/2010/Blank/AdoraSvitak_2010-320k.mp4&amp;su=http://images.ted.com/images/ted/tedindex/embed-posters/AdoraSvitak-2010.embed_thumbnail.jpg&amp;vw=512&amp;vh=288&amp;ap=0&amp;ti=815&amp;lang=&amp;introDuration=15330&amp;adDuration=4000&amp;postAdDuration=830&amp;adKeys=talk=adora_svitak;year=2010;theme=ted_under_30;theme=unconventional_explanations;theme=how_we_learn;theme=the_creative_spark;event=TED2010;tag=children;tag=creativity;tag=education;tag=intelligence;&amp;preAdTag=tconf.ted/embed;tile=1;sz=512x288;" /> <embed src="http://video.ted.com/assets/player/swf/EmbedPlayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="374" flashvars="vu=http://video.ted.com/talk/stream/2010/Blank/AdoraSvitak_2010-320k.mp4&amp;su=http://images.ted.com/images/ted/tedindex/embed-posters/AdoraSvitak-2010.embed_thumbnail.jpg&amp;vw=512&amp;vh=288&amp;ap=0&amp;ti=815&amp;lang=&amp;introDuration=15330&amp;adDuration=4000&amp;postAdDuration=830&amp;adKeys=talk=adora_svitak;year=2010;theme=ted_under_30;theme=unconventional_explanations;theme=how_we_learn;theme=the_creative_spark;event=TED2010;tag=children;tag=creativity;tag=education;tag=intelligence;&amp;preAdTag=tconf.ted/embed;tile=1;sz=512x288;" width="526"></embed> </object> </p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/adora_svitak.html">ted.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley Reacts: This little girl has some very big thoughts that parents need to hear...</p> </div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/adora-svitak-what-adults-can-learn-from-kids">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/adora-svitak-what-adults-can-learn-from-kids#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/3we3g12kk9I" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/adora-svitak-what-adults-can-learn-from-kids Mon, 09 Jan 2012 06:23:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/eiwSMCUbCLw/whats-new-in-our-parenting-app http://parentingtoolbox.com/whats-new-in-our-parenting-app <p> <p>Have you downloaded our freee parenting app yet? NO! Why not? It offers parents on the go helpful advice on management crisis situations, creative ideas to keep the kids busy, much needed affirmations and our regular Parenting Toolbox blog posts.</p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-app">Click here for more information on our FREE parenting app!</a></p> <p>Now you can list your local parenting class or event too. Just send us the details of your next group, class or conference for parents to <a href="mailto:rehuxley@gmail.com">rehuxley@gmail.com</a></p> <p><div class='p_embed p_image_embed'> <img alt="Parentingapp-iphone2" height="355" src="http://getfile1.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-01-15/wFzxGlhcDIfgglFnDIdedFFtocEHdJraJIryhFphbIJgfyFnDxvpbsjwytlx/parentingapp-iphone2.jpg.scaled595.jpg.scaled595.jpg" width="192" /> </div> </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/whats-new-in-our-parenting-app">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/whats-new-in-our-parenting-app#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/eiwSMCUbCLw" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/whats-new-in-our-parenting-app Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:52:00 -0800 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~3/nTInlLn-S14/why-our-preschoolers-are-couch-potatoes http://parentingtoolbox.com/why-our-preschoolers-are-couch-potatoes <p> <div class="posterous_bookmarklet_entry"> <blockquote class="posterous_long_quote"><div class="entryImage"><img src="http://i.huffpost.com/gen/455811/thumbs/s-COUCH-POTATO-KIDS-large300.jpg" height="219" alt="Http://i.huffpost.com/gen/455811/thumbs/scouchpotatokidslarge300.jpg" width="300" /> </div> <div class="entryBody"> <div class="grayBg"> <div class="entryComment"> <p /> <div> <a href="mailto:?subject=Huffington Post article: Why Our Preschoolers Are Couch Potatoes -- And Why We Need to Do Something About It&amp;body=From Huffington Post: &lt;a href="><a href="http://twitter.com/share?text=Why%20Our%20Preschoolers%20Are%20Couch%20Potatoes%20--%20And%20Why%20We%20Need%20to%20Do%20Something%20About%20It&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fclaire-mccarthy-md%2Fwhy-our-preschoolers-are-_b_1181388.html/&amp;via=huffingtonpost" class="twitter"></a> <a href="http://m.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fclaire-mccarthy-md%2Fwhy-our-preschoolers-are-_b_1181388.html&amp;t=Why%20Our%20Preschoolers%20Are%20Couch%20Potatoes%20--%20And%20Why%20We%20Need%20to%20Do%20Something%20About%20It" class="facebook"></a> </a></div> </div> </div> <div>Our preschoolers are couch potatoes.</div> <p> </p><div>I'm serious. They really are -- at least the ones in childcare or some sort of school program, which is three-quarters of the US kids ages 3-5. They spend 70-83% of their time being sedentary -- and that's not including meals or naps. In fact, they spend only about <em>2-3% of their time</em> in active play. </div> <p> </p><div>To find out why our little kids are mostly sitting, researchers at Cincinnati Children's put together focus groups of different childcare and preschool programs in the area and asked them why the kids weren't more active. The study, <a href="http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2012/01/02/peds.2011-2102.abstract" target="_hplink">released this week</a>, is in the February issue of <em>Pediatrics</em>.</div> <p> </p><div>For some providers the issue was financial: they couldn't afford much outdoor (or indoor) play space or equipment. But even when they could afford it, the researchers found that the equipment they had, chosen for safety reasons, wasn't all that interesting to kids (face it, those little slides are boring). To make matters worse, the staff often discouraged kids from being active for fear of injury (sometimes at the request of the parents). And the centers felt pressure to get as much academics into the day as possible.</div> <p> </p><div>Why do we care, if they are safe and learning? Isn't that what we want for them when they go to preschool?</div> <p> </p><div>Hmm ... not necessarily.</div> <p> </p><div>Kids need active play. They need it for the exercise; <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm" target="_hplink">a third of US kids</a> are either overweight or obese. And what's particularly worrisome about that statistic (besides the fact that it's likely to rise given our TV and Super-Size culture) is that more and more studies are showing that fat kids grow into fat adults. If we don't act now, we could literally be dooming our children to diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and everything else obesity brings.</div> <p> </p><div>Kids need play for more than that, though. They need it to learn what we call "executive function" -- the organizing principles of behavior. Through play they learn to share, negotiate and solve problems. They learn to be creative and use their imagination. They learn to focus and finish tasks -- and they learn empathy. Play isn't just goofing around. It truly is the work of childhood.</div> <p> </p><div>It's easy when your kids are small to get sucked into the paradigm of keeping them totally safe and trying to turn them into Einsteins. It's our culture, after all -- the culture of keeping kids in bubbles (God forbid they get stitches!), and of achievement. We don't want them to just enjoy books, we want them to start reading them really early so that they will go to an Ivy League college. As for play, we think of it as a waste of time. If they are going to be active, we want them to join teams so they can get really good at a sport and get an athletic scholarship. Starting early on this stuff is key, we are told.</div> <p> </p><div>(It was really different when I was young, which is why I spent my childhood in trees).</div> <p> </p><div>Okay: reality check here, folks. About 1% of high school athletes get athletic scholarships to college. And less than 1% of kids who go to college graduate from an Ivy League school. Starting early doesn't guarantee anything -- in fact, often it hurts more than it helps. And despite what the Occupy people might say, I really don't think that 99% of us are miserable.</div> <p> </p><div>Stop for a moment. What do you really want for your child when he or she grows up? I am hoping that the answer is that you want them to be healthy, happy, kind and self-sufficient adults. </div> <p> </p><div>To make this happen, we need to get over ourselves and let our kids be kids.</div> <p> </p><div>So when you are looking for a program for your preschooler, look for places where the kids really play -- inside and out. Look for places with the fun stuff to play on and open spaces where kids can run. Look for dress-up clothes and blocks and finger paint. Sure, you want somewhere that encourages learning -- but they should encourage singing and dancing and making pretend dinner just as much.</div> <p> </p><div>And don't be afraid to let your kid climb trees. I had a wonderful time up there -- and still made it to med school.</div></div></blockquote><div class="posterous_quote_citation">via <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/claire-mccarthy-md/why-our-preschoolers-are-_b_1181388.html">huffingtonpost.com</a></div> <p>Ron Huxley's Comments: This post takes a balanced look at a common (if not all too common) problem of the lack of adequate play/exercise in children. It is easy to judge parents for this problem but many homes have to deal with unsafe environment or have no outside for children to play. The helpful insight of this article is that it illustrates the psychological value of play. The idea of "executive functioning" is lacking in many children and the author correctly pins this crucial development on child's play. </p><p>How have you encouraged your children to play? Get more power parenting tools by joining our Parenting Membership Club at <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership">http://parentingtoolbox.com/pages/parenting-membership</a></p></div> </p> <p><a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/why-our-preschoolers-are-couch-potatoes">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://parentingtoolbox.com/why-our-preschoolers-are-couch-potatoes#comment">Leave a comment&nbsp;&nbsp;&raquo;</a> </p><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/parentingtoolbox/~4/nTInlLn-S14" height="1" width="1"/> http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1328519/5905480019_db70b373c9_t.jpg http://posterous.com/users/hckijyGgI453s Ron Huxley ThirstyFish Ron Huxley http://parentingtoolbox.com/why-our-preschoolers-are-couch-potatoes