The scary truth: Someone is watching you.  (Cue airy, haunting music.)  And they’re close. . . really close!  Every moment you are in your children’s presence they are soaking in what it means to be a human from the longest-tenured, most influential person in their lives.  They are learning how to act, how to think, how to feel.  They are learning what to do when faced with challenges, uncertainty and opposition.  They are learning about honesty and integrity.  They are learning about health and nutrition and exercise.  They are learning about passion and compassion.  They are learning about self-worth.  They are learning about complaining and upset.  They are learning about anger and anxiety and neuroses.

So, what things are your children learning from you that make you cringe?   Are they learning that there is never enough time?. . . that it’s okay to be a bully?. . . that they don’t have to treat people with respect?. . . that they can put all sorts of garbage in their bodies without regard to health?. . . that families members don’t get along with each other? . . . that something is always wrong? If I didn’t hit on one or two that ring true for you, take a moment to compose your own list. If you’re like most people, the worst ones are on the tip of your tongue.

And the bottom line to all this?   Deal with the traits and the relationships in your life that you wouldn’t wish upon your children.  It’s not only about how you talk to your kids or what you explicitly teach them.  Ultimately, your children don’t do what you say, they do what you DO.  If you want your children to be happy and well-adjusted, the best thing you can do for them is to be that model.  If you are passing down your own neuroses, anxieties, or bad habits, STOP!  Show your children where you’ve made mistakes and commit to making a change.  (You can’t model any better behavior than this!)

Here are a few things for you to think about from the perspective of how you want your children to experience and interact with the world:

Your Integrity – Will your children learn to honor and follow through on their commitments and promises?  Will they meet deadlines and show up on time?  Will they tell the truth to themselves and the people around them?  Will they treat people with respect and kindness?

Your Health (mental and physical) – Will they eat well and exercise regularly?  Will they get a decent amount of sleep?  Will they learn that alcohol, caffeine, chocolate or [insert drug of choice here] is an integral part of life?  What will they know about crafting and maintaining their self-esteem?  Will their fears and anxieties be eerily similar to your own?

Your Career – Will your children learn that they should love what they do professionally?  Will they learn that work is a necessary but unfulfilling part of life?  What will they learn about relationships with bosses and co-workers?  Will they learn to aim high or settle?  Will they learn to balance work and family?

Your Marriage or Partnership(s) – Will they learn to speak to their partners with love and tenderness?  What will they learn about teamwork, communication and romance?  How about bickering, sniping and keeping secrets?  (Remember, your relationships are the models that they will likely be repeating in their own lives!)

Your Parents – What will they learn about adult parent-child relationships?  Will they observe love and respect?  What baggage do you have with your parents that you are consciously or unconsciously passing on to your children?  What are they learning about their level of responsibility for taking care of you in your declining years?

So, let’s recap: Your children are watching you and they are absorbing all of it.  If you are not working on the aspects of your own life that are out of whack, then you are missing a major key to good parenting.  You would think it a tragedy if your children were unable to realize their full potential, but what about you reaching yours?  That might just be what’s going to give them the best chance of turning out to be balanced, happy adults.

ACT Date – Registration Deadline by Fax or Mail / Late Registration Online

September 10, 2011 — August 12 / August 26

October 22, 2011 — September 16 / September 30

December 10, 2011 — November 4 / November 18

February 11, 2012 — January 13 / January 20 (NO TEST CENTERS IN NYC)

April 14, 2012 — March 9 / March 23

June 9, 2012 — May 4 / May 18

If religious convictions prevent you from testing on a Saturday, a limited number of test sites administer the ACT on the Sunday after each test date listed above.  If you are planning on testing on standby, you must bring “a letter from your cleric or a notarized statement to verify your religious beliefs prohibit Saturday testing.”

ISEE Date – School & Address

Oct. 22 — Poly Prep Country Day School • 9216 7^th Avenue • Brooklyn, NY 11228
Nov. 19 — Horace Mann School • 231 West 246th Street • Bronx, NY 10471
Nov. 19 — Poly Prep Country Day School • 9216 7th Avenue • Brooklyn 11228
Dec. 3 — Poly Prep Country Day School • 9216 7th Avenue • Brooklyn 11228
Dec. 3 — Marymount School of New York • 1026 Fifth Avenue • NY, NY 10028
Dec. 3 — The Brearley School • 610 East 83rd Street • New York, NY 10028
Dec. 3 — Riverdale Country School • 5250 Fieldston Road • Bronx, NY 10471
Dec. 10 — Staten Island Academy • 715 Todt Hill Road • Staten Island, NY 10304
Dec. 10 — The Town School • 540 East 76th Street • New York, NY 10021
Jan. 14 — Poly Prep Country Day School • 9216 7th Avenue • Brooklyn, 11228
Jan. 21 — The Spence School • 22 East 91st Street • New York, NY 10128
Apr. 14 — Friends Seminary • 222 East 16th Street • New York, NY 1000

*Test centers are still being added to the ERB’s (the company responsible for the ISEE) automated test center search feature so check there for the latest additions.  For example, 20 dates have been added at Winston Prep, particularly for students testing with accommodations.

If you are interested in more specific information about tutoring and preparing for the ISEE or other entrance exams for NYC’s public and independent schools (like the SSAT, SHSAT, or COOP), please give us a call at (212) 928-5016 or e-mail us.

Read the bios of a few of our best ISEE prep tutors.

Please feel invited and encouraged to attend, or to watch the event on its live webcast. Of course we welcome you to include any friends who are parents or colleagues who live in the metro NYC / NJ area, or around the globe who are interested in the changes afoot in the field of Education. You can review the speakers here.

This is the first event of its kind to explore how the real-time web is affecting Education, and a chance to catch up with some of the educators who are leading the charge and bringing change to Education.

The event pricing is optimized to bring together educators, students, and the education industry. The cost to attend this two-day conference for educators is only $1.40, students are $15, and for everyone else, $140.  To register, please visit the #140edu registration page.

Our hope is to bring together a diverse, dynamic community of people who are passionate about the state of education.

If you have a vested interest in the future of education, please make it a point to join us in some way next week, even just to check it out online.

SSAT Date – Registration Deadline by Fax or Mail / Late Registration Online

October 15, 2011 — September 23 / September 30

November 12, 2011 — October 21 / October 28

December 10, 2011 — November 18 / November 25

January 7, 2012 — December 16 / December 23

February 4, 2012 — January 13 / January 20

March 3, 2012 — February 10 / February 17

April 21, 2012 — March 30/ April 6

June 9, 2012 — May 18 / May 25

To read more about the SSAT and applying to independent schools, click here.

September 14 – October 12, 2011 – SHSAT Registration (through school counselors)

October 29 & 30, 2011 – SHSAT Test Days for 8^th graders (students are assigned a date)

November 5, 2011 – SHSAT Test Day for 9^th graders, as well as 8th and 9th graders with testing accommodations

November 20, 2011 – SHSAT Test Day for all 9^th grade Sabbath observers, 8^th and 9^th grade Sabbath observers who need testing accommodations, as well as make-up tests (with permission only and must register in advance)

Taking the SHSAT is a requirement for admission to the following high schools:

• Bronx High School of Science
• The Brooklyn Latin School
• Brooklyn Technical High School
• High School for Mathematics, Science and Engineering at the City College
• High School of American Studies at Lehman College
• Queens High School for the Sciences at York College
• Staten Island Technical High School
• Stuyvesant High School

If you are interested in more specific information about the SHSAT or other entrance exams for New York City’s public and independent schools (like the ISEE, SSAT, or COOP), please give us a call at (212) 928-5016 or e-mail us.

More information about the SHSAT and preparing for the test:

SHSAT Part 1 — What is the SHSAT and how do you register?
SHSAT Part 2 — What is actually on the SHSAT and how is it scored?
SHSAT Tutoring — Partners With Parents’ favorite SHSAT Prep tutors.

• The Bronx High School of Science*
• The Brooklyn Latin School
• Brooklyn Technical High School*
• High School for Mathematics, Science and Engineering at the City College
• High School of American Studies at Lehman College*
• Queens High School for the Sciences at York College*
• Staten Island Technical High School*
• Stuyvesant High School*

A ninth specialized high school, Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts (now sometimes called LaGuardia Arts), requires an audition and a review of academic records rather than the SHSAT.

The only citywide “gifted and talented” high school noted on the Department of Education’s website is New Explorations into Science, Technology and Math (NEST + m), also ranked in the top 100 High Schools.  Hunter College High School is also labeled “G & T,” but is only open to students who live in Manhattan.  Below are a few of the city’s selective public high schools that do not use the SHSAT.  In these cases, “school-based qualifying exams,” math & writing assessments or portfolios/interviews are required for admission.  Visit these schools’ websites for their specific requirements.

• Bard High School Early College (9-12, citywide, 2 campuses: Manhattan and Queens)
• Baccalaureate School for Global Education* (7-12, priority to current students and Queens residents)
• Beacon  High School (9-12, citywide)
• Hunter College High School (K-12, Entry points: K & 7th grade)
• New Explorations into Science, Technology and Math* (K-12, priority to current students)
• Townsend Harris High School* (9-12, citywide)

While this is not an exhaustive list, these 15 schools will likely remain elite for the foreseeable future.  There are certainly other highly selective programs in NYC but changes in school designation, performance, and existence occur annually so you must do your research.  For the most up-to-date list, you can wade through the somewhat unruly Department of Education’s high school search directory.   Better yet, Insideschools.org’s advanced search feature allows you to choose “selective” and “noteworthy” as search criteria and gives frank concise reviews of each school.

October 1-2, 2011
November 5-6, 2011
December 3-4, 2011
January 28-29, 2012
March 10-11, 2012
May 5-6, 2012
June 2-3, 2012

Now is a good time to begin thinking about which dates will work for you.  If you are applying to college in the fall and still need to take the SAT (or retake it), then you’ll be looking at the October or November dates.  Most incoming juniors should probably be considering the Spring 2012 test dates, making sure that they plan for at least two dates, one for the SAT and one or more for the SAT Subject Tests.  In general, we recommend that Subject Tests be taken in the Spring of the year that you are taking the class when the information is still fresh (except for language tests with listening which are not offered at that time).

Please call us at (212) 928-5016 or email us if you have questions about how and when to prepare for the SAT or SAT Subject Tests.

I’ve worked with a lot of students during my career as a tutor, and every one of them was unique. Some were extremely motivated to improve their schoolwork or get a higher score on that upcoming exam, and some…well, they needed extra encouragement. But there is one thing that all New York City kids have in common: they are all very busy! When students have so much going on both in and out of school—academics, friendships, sports, community service, music lessons—it sometimes becomes difficult to plan anything further in the future than next week.

However, getting an early start on just about any academic exercise, as painful as it may seem when the payoff is far away, greatly reduces the amount of stress that a student (and his or her entire family) will experience in the long run.  That’s why it makes sense to begin preparing for dreaded standardized tests long before your child is scheduled to take them.  When the test is the SHSAT (Specialized High School Admissions Test), timing is especially crucial. The SHSAT is administered in late October and early November, so it may seem as if starting to prepare in the spring is jumping the gun. But, if you think about it, for most students, summer is an inconvenient time to study, as they are frequently away on vacation or at camp. When they resume school in September, they are rightly focused on readjusting to their daily school routine. Beginning 8^th grade is difficult enough without having to prepare, in two short months, for a test that most students find somewhat daunting.  Every point counts on this exam, and becoming acquainted with the unique types of questions that don’t appear on other standardized tests is vital.  In addition, if there are content areas in which your child needs more than a brief review, having the extra prep time could mean the difference between a good result and a great one.   Put another way, it might mean getting into the school of your choice versus getting into the school on the other end of the city.

Starting to learn the ins and outs of the SHSAT well before sitting down to take it will help students approach this high-stakes test with a strong command of the relevant material and a relaxed, focused attitude. October may seem a long way off, but as any parent knows, time has a way of taking flight.  Getting a head start on the SHSAT is one way to prepare for a smooth trip, so to speak.

[Note: If you are reading this and October is right around the corner, don’t panic.  There is still time to familiarize yourself with the test and get in some good practice. Give us a call at (212) 928-5016 or send an email if you need help.]

1. Know when they are and make sure you go.  No excuses on this one!
2. Know the teachers’ names.  It shows you care.
3. Know the major assignments for each class.  If you thought some were original/creative/effective, tell the teacher.  Everyone loves compliments.
4. Know how your child is performing in each class.
5. Know how hard your child works in each class.
6. Know what your child thinks of each teacher.   If the answer is “not much,” don’t mention it.
7. Ask the teachers what they think are your child’s strengths, weaknesses, and best chances for improving.
8. Ask how you can support learning at home.
9. Have some ideas about what teaching methods work for your child and see if the teacher is receptive to hearing them, e.g. “I’ve always thought that Johnny really needs to see something written out for him to understand it.  Are you finding that to be the case?” If the teacher is not receptive to hearing your opinions about your child’s academic development, don’t be pushy or confrontational.  If you have concerns about a teacher’s technique or treatment of your child, PT conferences are the appropriate venue to feel out your differences.  However, if “agreeing to disagree” is impossible or you have major pedagogical concerns, you should address that further in another meeting with an administrative supervisor present.
10. Above all, listen!  Accept that your child may act very differently at home and at school and trust that your child’s teachers have some insight into who your child is becoming.

One final recommendation: go home and discuss what you have learned with your child so he or she understands that it really does matter.