PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

The cat came back…this time.

Kerry — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:45:47 +0000

“This note magically appeared one day in our letter box late last year from an obviously unhappy neighbour,” says Anthony in Melbourne, Australia. “To this day we still don’t know the cat-hater, the cat owner, or the cat.”

Is this chicken, what just hit me in the head, or is this fish?

Kerry — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:56:28 +0000

This week’s “WTF? Friday” contribution comes from Carey in Brooklyn, who spotted this warning taped to a telephone pole at a busy intersection in Long Island City. “I looked around carefully,” Carey says, “but there were no flying missiles to be seen.”

related: passive-allergic

I just hope this driver doesn’t have any tattoos

Kerry — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:40:40 +0000

Kit from Austin spotted this vigilante service vehicle during a road trip through Colorado…

And although the photo below was taken in Toronto, I’d like to imagine the message was scrawled in lipstick by a frustrated passenger just before passing the car above.

related: Smug Alert

The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

Kerry — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:04:14 +0000

Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

extra credit: This is why you’re fat.

Launching a cannonball at the breeders

Kerry — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:42:56 +0000

Emily in Richmond, Virginia says this note was recently posted in her apartment building, “right next to a note complaining about a) the tenants in the building that have parties and don’t clean up the beer that gets left in the hallways and b) the laziness of the dog owners in the building that don’t pick up their dogs’ poop.”

related: Wanna touch the baby?

And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

Kerry — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:41:52 +0000

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.

Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)

Your Facebook friends: just not that into you.

Kerry — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:29:25 +0000

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

Just, you know, [TMI] FYI

Kerry — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:11:10 +0000

Alexandra and her best friend David were thrift-store shopping in Memphis, Tennessee when they spotted this sign (in the restroom, this time…not the fitting room).

What I love about this one is that, unlike most of its kind, this notice doesn’t issue any kind of directive (e.g. “Hey nitwits, don’t flush the merchandise!!!”), nor does it directly address the salient issue at hand (Does the toilet actually work now, or not?). Because, really, a simple “Out of Order” sign would have sufficed, if the latter were the case. Instead, it’s just like, “This one time, at band camp…”

In place of “Thank You,” I think it should say “The End.” Or maybe: “Who the hell wipes with a child’s T-shirt?!”

Save the earth…kill the kids?

Kerry — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:52:31 +0000

“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.

related: Herbie Goes to Washington

The joys of motherhood

Kerry — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:43:49 +0000

Writes Sarah: “This note was written to me after I told my seven-year-old daughter to go to her room until she felt like being nice. I’m still trying to figure out what she really feels. Was it love mingled with regret…or slathering me with goodness in hopes of ending the misery in her room? Somehow I still think she meant what she originally said. Motherhood rocks!!!!”

Meanwhile, Laura in California writes: ”My six-year-old daughter misbehaved at school, so she couldn’t go to the harvest festival. This didn’t go over well, so she wrote me this threatening note. When I laughed, she took it back to add ‘I (am) serious.’”

And it’s not just the girls. Liev in Gainesville, Georgia received this from her six-year-old son when — while trying to get dinner on the table for five kids clamoring for her attention — she had to tell him she did not have time to look at his latest Lego creation right this second. “This is his drawing of me yelling at him. The thing above him is his broken heart.”

Actually, I am offended…above all, by your atrocious spelling.

Kerry — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:20:18 +0000

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

News bites

Kerry — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:32:32 +0000

Writes Jarrod in Australia: “This was published in the local newspaper where my sister is a reporter. On first observation, it doesn’t seem like much of a passive-aggressive note, but the backstory behind it is that the owner of the paper has been refusing to have the building sprayed for spiders, thinking it unnecessary.” The staff’s response?

“For the record,” Jarrod adds, “the redback spider is related to the black widow, but more toxic (has killed people, but not recently).”

extra credit: The Death of Print Journalism

Counter attack

Kerry — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:38:57 +0000

“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.

These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).

To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.

Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado

And so on and so forth.

But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece, spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.

Please refrain from unintentional irony

Kerry — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:39:55 +0000

Is it executive exceptionalism at work here? Supreme lack of self-awareness? A wicked sense of humor? You decide.

Exhibit a) from Reva in Reedsburg, Wisconsin

Exhibit b) from Peggy at the University of New Brunswick

Exhibit c) from Jess in San Francisco