PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

Keep the changes, you filfthy aminal

Kerry — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 02:06:02 +0000

Co-win-cidentally, these two notes were submitted within minutes of each other. (In my mind, both seem to demand being read with a kindergarter’s lisp.)

Stacey in Alexandria, Virginia spotted this almost-haiku in a high school hallway:

Meanwhile, this (just slightly) f-ed up display comes from an office kitchen in New York City:

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Kerry — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:58:37 +0000

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

(These parentheses are making my brain hurt)

Kerry — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:11:41 +0000

Michael says this chaotic jumble of parenthetical-underlined-CAPSLOCK has been up since he started working at this California sushi restaurant, much to his amusement.

Adds Michael: “I don’t care how much a customer tips me, I am not going to satisfy all of their needs.” (So, no rice dicks, then?)

Honestly, it’s that last missing parenthesis that really gets me. Just close it up! Do it now!

Love, Numb Nuts

Kerry — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:03:03 +0000

Ty — an innocent bystander in this situation — saw this reply note taped to the door of his apartment building in Omaha. “I LOVE it!’ says Ty. Me too, Ty. Me too.

related: Save the earth, kill the kids?

The Bridal Shower Trap

Kerry — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:25:03 +0000

Perhaps this bride has a fabulous sense of humor, and receiving a trashy romance novel as a wedding gift was a dream come true. However, given that Melanie found this inscribed copy at a Colorado Goodwill — and looks, she says, “completely unread” — Sariah might have preferred say, a toaster.

P.S. If you’re curious, here’s the Amazon synopsis of The Husband Trap:

Here comes the substitute bride. . . .Violet Brantford has always longed for the passionate embrace of Adrian Winter, the wealthy Duke of Raeburn. Problem is, he’s set to marry Violet’s vivacious, more socially polished look-alike twin sister, Jeannette. But when Jeannette refuses to go through with the ceremony mere minutes before it is to begin, soft-spoken Violet finds herself walking down the aisle and taking vows in her sister’s place. Soon shy Violet is a high-society wife, trying to keep her real identity a secret while living out the fantasies of her wildest dreams. Adrian thinks he knows exactly what he’s gotten himself into: Jeannette may be flighty and, well, a bit self-involved, but she’s the picture-perfect wife to carry on the Winter name. Yet this marriage of convenience brings the groom more than he bargained for when he finds his sweet, innocent wife surprising him at every turn. And though he never planned on true love, Adrian is definitely in danger of losing his heart.

Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

Kerry — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:01:35 +0000

Putting decaf in the regular coffee pot? Now that’s just evil.

The decaf’s response:

recent: The British version of the above note

Happy Valentine’s Day, Airhead

Kerry — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:54:44 +0000

Writes Sarah in Oregon: “My son was required to give a Valentine to every student in his class, whether they were a friend or not. I found this one among the pile. Obviously, Megan isn’t a friend.” (But maybe his super-mega-crush?)

related: What a heartbreaker

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Kerry — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:35:43 +0000

xoxo, PAN

The milk chocolate…not in your hand

Kerry — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 02:26:50 +0000

There’s a vending machine troll on the loose in Chicago!

related: The Candyman Can’t

Meet the World’s Crankiest Roommate

Kerry — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:02:03 +0000

If the 21 notes you’ve already posted around the house haven’t made a difference…do you really think the 22nd is going to be the one that finally clicks? Just a thought!

related: The Post-It Wars

The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

Kerry — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000

If only there were a simple solution to this problem…

related: PC Load Letter?!

The Vicar of Glibly

Kerry — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:05:01 +0000

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

related: He died for your clip art

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

Kerry — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:49:15 +0000

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Wanted: Justice, with a side of fries.

Kerry — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:02:09 +0000

A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.

“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”