The Art of Pausha

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

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News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

Pausha — Fri, 02 Jun 2023 02:48:03 +0000

News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

When images emerge in my mind they demand to be realized. When I say “demand” I mean “demand”. They will bug me, nag me and give me no peace until I’ve created them with ink, or pencils, or a camera or what have you.Not only do I not have a choice when it comes to what gets created and whether or not it gets created, I have precious little choice when it comes to which medium I use.

Some drawings must be black and white. Some require the sharp, crisp lines that only black ink can produce, others will consent to softer graphite. Some will concede to being black and white, others require color.

MU the Mindless Rabbit required color. It was born in my mind in full color, drowning with color, splashed and drenched in bright, happy, primary hues. Exactly the sort of hues I’ve never used and never worked with.

MU DIDN'T CARE

Having little choice in the matter, I embarked upon the journey of trying to find medium I could work with that would allow me to to create what needed to be created without having to spend years learning a whole new discipline. I tried digital painting, it seemed an easy way to manage “paint”, with a stylus that is very much like a pencil that I’m used to. It worked great for a moment until I tried it for a few days and found myself missing drawing! Even though I draw-painted for hours each day.

It turned out that drawing with a stylus on a digital screen feels just like having sex with a very thick condom must feel: all the movements are sort of there but you can’t feel anything. I found myself missing the touch of paper, missing the smell of graphite, missing the black stains all over my hands and clothes.

I tried watercolors next, using the technique I’ve worked with in the past: pen and ink drawings with watercolor wash over it. For a second there it seemed like it was just the thing, something I’ve already been familiar with, something I’d already developed, something that was mine, a signature look I might say, and it turned out that it was mine all right … but it wasn’t MU’s.

It was not the Rabbit’s, and the Rabbit just didn’t look like itself with black lines and pale, desaturated colors all over the place.

Then at last came The Revelation: Colored Pencils! It seems like the ideal solution: lovely pencils, bright and juicy, full of color, perfectly familiar to someone who has drawn with pens and pencils already, perfectly comfortable to work with, no extra skills required.

I bought a set or two and got to work and discovered that while there was little to no learning curve in moving from black graphite pencils to colored pencils in terms of technique, there was a huge gaping hole where the understanding of color itself should be.

It very quickly became apparent that working with color is not as simple as taking a black and white drawing and coloring it. I realized that I must understand what colors do, how they interact with light, how they interact with each other, how they interact with my eyes. This brought me to books on color theory, and the books on color theory brought me to paint.

It took me a year of trying and testing various methods and mediums only to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that if I am to learn color and work with color, it must be paint.

Having accepted that fact, however grudgingly, I have embarked upon learning how to paint, and how to paint in full color.

Learning how to paint was to be my main focus this past month.

To this end I have:

Embarked upon creating a model for my color studies: a white rabbit mask which would change colors when illuminated by various colored lights.
The mask, though made from white paper, had to also be painted white, which made some sort of sense to me when I decided that.
I then spent another few days on buying, testing and returning various colored lights and light gels, before I arrived at one that will do the job.
Having decided to try acrylics I tried to paint, made a terrible mess of it, decided that acrylics won’t work and that oil paints might be a better choice for me.
That resulted in days of researching paints, brushes, tedious, canvas papers, buying appropriate palettes, waiting for a friend who offered to share some paints with me and was kind enough to take a few days to do so, so there was a good reason for waiting.
In the meantime I designed a t-shirt for my husband’s band featuring a name which they are about to abandon.
Then I designed another band t-shirt for a non-existent band that really should exist because the name is cool.
Then I began work on a logo for a band name that was being considered, though not settled on.
I also assisted Christopher in setting up the print shop for some of the Mindless photos and began to plan putting up some prints of my drawings for sale as well.
I also spent some time researching a concept for the next MU photo shoot, as well as scouting out the location a 3-hour round-trip drive away from my home.
And I continued to work on this preliminary sketch in preparation for making a large piece in colored pencils, because it will be a while before I can do anything worthwhile with paints and I do want to have some drawing going in the meantime…

I fully intend this coming month to focus on learning how to paint….

fine art

photography

writing

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

The post News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023 appeared first on The Art of Pausha.

I appear to be colorblind.

Pausha — Tue, 02 May 2023 03:15:59 +0000

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I appear to be colorblind.

Have you ever experienced a moment of realization where your ideas about reality collided with reality itself, and revealed themselves as being blatantly false? Regardless of how important or unimportant, how significant or insignificant, how painful or otherwise the realization might be, It always comes with a sense of startlement, a bit like what a dog must feel when it’s suddenly slapped on the nose.

Have you ever experienced a moment of realization where your ideas about reality collided with reality itself, and revealed themselves as being blatantly false?

Regardless of how important or unimportant, how significant or insignificant, how painful or otherwise the realization might be, It always comes with a sense of startlement, a bit like what a dog must feel when it’s suddenly slapped on the nose.

I just got slapped on the nose by my own art. Not only did I just, literally just now as I was getting ready to write this very post, get slapped on the nose, but I got slapped on the nose for the second time this week! By my own creations!

Which raises some serious questions about my level of presence, self-awareness, as well as the quality of my eyesight.

Here is what just happened:

I intended to write a blog post about my relationship with color. My story about myself was that I have had hardly any relationship with color at all; that I’ve spent years working exclusively in black ink on white paper, eventually moving to black pencils. I did not use color, I was not much interested in working with color - though I flirted with it on occasion - trying to find my way around it sufficiently to use it for a little extra … well … color to spice up my drawings a bit. But I really did not understand it, not one bit, not particularly wanted to.

All of this, according to my story, shifted only recently when I conceived of a project that really truly called for being colorful: that of MU, the Mindless Rabbit. From the very moment of conception the Rabbit was all colorful, and I had little choice but to try and depict it as such.

I have since embarked on a journey of trying to figure out the color situation, which I spoke about in May’s newsletter, but the point here is that I really believed what I just stated was true, only true and nothing but true.

And then I looked through may archives looking for images to illustrate this story of mine, and what did I see?

COLOR

I saw color everywhere. I saw color all over the place. I saw color splashed all over drawings I’ve been doing years ago. I saw color smeared all over my portraits. I saw color painted all over my pen and ink, and I even saw an attempt at spilling some color over a graphite drawing (don’t try that, really doesn’t work).

I looked, I saw, and I realized what the evidence of my own eyes pointed to: I’ve always worked with color. The black and white drawings I’ve done are by far the minority.

This, in and off itself, isn’t a particularly Earth-shattering revelation. What is really truly shocking is that somehow I did not realize this. Somehow I have managed to paint colors all over the place for years without once having realized that I was, actually, doing it.

I can’t even.

The other blank spot I’ve discovered earlier this week actually pales in comparison with this remarkable bit of obliviousness.

Here is what happened:

I’ve been mulling over buying a page in an art magazine’s artist directory. The magazine is called Beautiful Bizarre Magazine, it is relatively well-renowned, with some standing. The price is good, what they offer is beneficial, it seems like a good deal all around, but I was not sure abut advertising at this point because I didn’t feel I was ready for drawing attention to my work as yet. Specifically my latest drawings featuring MU, the Mindless Rabbit. I felt that those are not fleshed out well enough yet, that the concept is not yet sufficiently developed, that it’s not yet ready to be seen. And then I looked at the drawing page of MY OWN WEBSITE and as I looked at it I saw what was right there, in front of my eyes: yeah, the concept is developed. It is plenty developed, and it is plenty ready to be seen.

And here I was fancying myself all sorts of self-aware.

There is, no doubt, a lot to unpack in this situation, all sorts of mechanisms and meanings, and I am not at all sure what to think about all this. Yet what is rising to the surface of my befuddled mind as I’m writing right now is this: apparently a good way to learn about oneself is to take a good look at one’s own creations.

The reality of one’s creations has a way of verifying stories.

fine art

photography

writing

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

The post I appear to be colorblind. appeared first on The Art of Pausha.

News from Pausha’s Studio – April 2023

Pausha — Tue, 02 May 2023 01:33:02 +0000

News from Pausha’s Studio – April 2023

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RABBITS?

It is my aspiration to create images that are like ogres and onions: full of layers. Lots and lots of layers.

I am firmly of the belief that no image should have one meaning if it can have two, or four, or twenty. The more meanings the better. The more meanings, the deeper one can dive, the further one can reach, going farther, beyond the surface appearances of things. Reaching deeper, below the momentary, temporary faces life wears. Reaching down to its bones. The fundamental, unchanging bones of humanity. Or reality for that matter.

I aspire to draw myths.

I am not content to draw an image of a woman - I wish to draw an image of womanhood. I am not satisfied to draw an image of a human - I wish to capture and express the essence of humanity, and that can be best done with symbols.

Which brings me to the rabbit.

If I were to draw a woman, even a yellow woman, it would be a drawing of a yellow woman. If I remove all aspects of the model that are personal, that are specific characteristics of this one person, like her face, her hair, then the woman becomes anonymous. No longer an individual human but a representative of a group of humans.

If I further remove the sexual characteristics: genitalia, nipples, even a belly button, the anonymous woman loses another layer of specificity and gains another level of anonymity. It ceases to be a person and it becomes a symbol.

Having lost layers of personal characteristics the character becomes a symbol imbued with layers upon layers of meaning aligned to humanity at large. Layers and layers just like in ogres. And onions.

The figure, the symbol, becomes a representative of humanity, expressing everything that is fundamentally human. But then it loses its human head and in the process becomes symbol not only of humanity but of animal life. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say that it becomes a symbol of life itself.

Layers, layers, layers.

The rabbit emerged as a character in another adventure, one you can read about HERE, but I embraced it fully and wholeheartedly in my art because it really is so incredibly perfect. In any context, no matter what I wish to express, no matter what I try to portray, no model does half as well as the rabbit does.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

A DOVE LANDED ON A MAN'S HEAD.

"It's an omen!" exclaimed the man. "It means that everything will go well today. It means that my meeting will be successful, I will be free, I will find peace, I will find love!"

A dove landed on a man's head, pecked at the hair and realizing that it's not suitable for lining the nest, flew away.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

I don't know why I draw what I draw. Images emerge, I put them on paper. Sometimes, once created, the drawing will clearly show its meaning, sometimes it won't. I'm content with either.

I have noticed, though, as I was coming close to finishing this piece, and began to sketch out the next one, that it looks familiar. I realized that I've drawn this before, this exchange, this relationship.

There is something very compelling in this picture: the rabbit and the horse seeing one another. It brings to mind the natives from Avatar and how they would great each other by saying "I see you", doesn't it?

I expect I'll continue to draw this until whatever it is I am trying to capture is captured.

*On a side note, you might have noticed the unnaturally long legs of the sketched horse. I called them "Dalí legs". It might not have been Dalí who pioneered elongated legs but I definitely associate that visual bit with him, though I've seen it utilized by other surrealists. I came to a conclusion that any self-respecting surrealist must do the Dalí legs, at least once, so there I go.

**On a side, side note, I'm not entirely sure I would call myself a surrealist, let alone self-respecting, but I still like those legs therefore, again, there I go.

fine art

photography

writing

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

The post News from Pausha’s Studio – April 2023 appeared first on The Art of Pausha.

The Origin of the Rabbit

Pausha — Sat, 25 Mar 2023 00:16:14 +0000

The Origin of the Rabbit

The Rabbit was born of frustration. It emerged as a way to cope with a reality that had gone haywire. A world that had been turned upside down.

It was a sunny spring afternoon when Christopher and I walked down a deserted street, a street that at any other time would be bustling with tourists enjoying all the beauty and entertainment our little resort town has to offer. On that day the usually vibrant, crowded, noisy place was quiet. Eerily quiet. Some few people ghosted past us keeping a careful distance. Masked. Hidden. Hardly noticeable.

The all-encompassing, all-permeating fear was getting to me and I reacted the way I always react to fear: with anger.

I was angry! Angry at the stupid fear, angry at the stupid humans, angry at the stupid masks. “I don’t want to wear the stupid mask!” I exclaimed at some point, “I would rather just stay the fuck away from people!”

“Stay the fuck away from me!” mused Christopher, “That would be a great t-shirt".

If ever there was a time to embark upon a creative project it was right then. After all what else were we going to do? I don’t believe we ever truly seriously considered launching a t-shirt sales operation, but there was so much in this endeavor that was compelling and attractive. So much to design, so much to create: the t-shirt itself, product shots, promotional shots, advertising campaign. I do so enjoy designing things. We dove headfirst into the adventure for the sheer pleasure of creating.

Once we had our product designed and shirt samples ready to shoot, we decided to use me as a model and, in order to avoid lengthy process of photoshopping my forty-five year old face into a semblance of a twenty year old, I though I might as well wear a mask. Masks, after all, were a theme in those days. The theme music, the 2020 mascot, the spirit animal, the mantra. I settled on a rabbit for no reason other than aesthetics - it was the most interesting of all the masks I saw around. Also there was something, especially at that time, about falling down a rabbit hole…

The masks were created, the product shots were taken but it was during the promo shoot which was supposed to supply us with photos for a website that the rabbit emerged as a being, as a character, as a creature in its own right.

It was all downhill from there. Literally. The image of a rabbit-as-character out in the world gained momentum as it snowballed from serving merely as a fashion model to an artistic muse.

I’ve never understood photography as an art form. No matter how many times Christopher tried to explain the creative aspect of it, I’ve always seen taking photos as little more than documenting what already exists. It’s “taking” photos, not “creating” photos for a reason, I always thought. I understood that there is a fair amount of skill involved in composing an image well, not to mention knowing how to properly operate the camera. And even so, in the end, I could not help but think that it is the camera that does most of the work. A human “just” operates the machine, just like any skilled technician would.

But then the rabbit emerged, a three dimensional character existing in a three dimensional reality, a character I could position in various places, create scenes, create worlds, create realities which we could then capture in the form of photos that were - and are unquestionably - art.

A whole new world of possibilities opened before me. A whole world of experiences I’d never imagine myself experiencing.

I would never have believed that in my mid-forties I’d become a model, prancing around in a leotard, jumping up and down on a trampoline, hanging off of walls, climbing up mountains, all while wearing a rabbit mask. It’s the rabbit that caused this.

There is a wildness about the rabbit, an untamed quality that recognizes no limitations not only in the safe and private confines of my imagination, but out in the world, the real world, the physical world where other people are.

It is not always easy or comfortable to keep up with the wildness of the rabbit.

Humans, after all, have limits, and the rabbit has none.

Yet for the time being, where the rabbit leads, Christopher and I follow.

fine art

photography

writing

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

The post The Origin of the Rabbit appeared first on The Art of Pausha.

News from Pausha’s Studio – March 2023

Pausha — Sun, 12 Mar 2023 03:34:48 +0000

News from Pausha’s Studio – March 2023

The Rabbit attends an opening night of the “Surreal Women” show, it gets identified as a mutant, and the adventure with color continues.

Hello friends, followers and observers,

Having deleted all my social media accounts, I have deprived myself of an easy way to share my artistic adventures with you, and I've realized that I miss this sharing.

This update is an attempt to remedy that. Say what one may about the evils of social media, I can't deny that it is pleasant and fun to have my work seen, to let it out into the world, and see it making friends. Or enemies for that matter.

I shall endeavor to release monthly updates of my doings and creations and I hope you'll enjoy receiving it. I sure will enjoy creating it!

Pausha, and MU the Mindless Rabbit

SURREAL WOMEN

SURREALIST ART BY AMERICAN WOMEN

My drawing, The Watcher is included in a group show:

SURREAL WOMEN
SURREALIST ART BY AMERICAN WOMEN

at the Sullivan Goss Gallery, in Santa Barbara, and I am tremendously honored. Being, as I am, a self-taught painter with no formal education therefore no credentials to speak of, it is quite validating to be invited to participate in a carefully curated show at a prestigious gallery.

Much as one can say that the outside recognition doesn't matter, that the value of art lies in one's own experience of creating, it does matter. To know that my work is "good enough" to be taken seriously, that I am good enough in terms of my skills, in terms of technique, for a gallery of certain standing to hang my work on its walls, matters quite a bit. Not only because it feels good to be accepted, recognized and validated, but also because it is a landmark by which I can judge the quality of my work.

Therefore I am all sorts of happy, and if you wish to take look at the show you can do it HERE.

RED IS THE NEW BLACK

Should you ever find yourself attending the opening of your own show, I highly recommend showing up in costume. Especially if you happen to be antisocial, grumpy, and generally uncomfortable around strangers.

The mask is a perfect shield to hide behind, the costume makes a statement without you having to say anything at all, and everyone wants to talk to you without the slightest amount of effort on your part. You can be safely hidden, and be the heart of the party, all at the same time.

Carrying a conversation is somewhat tricky, as the mask muffles sound very effectively, but then there is really nothing wrong with that.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

There is no better motivation to keeping one's website updated than having no social media presence. After years of neglect, everything is up to date, all the recent works are duly posted so if you would to take a peek and see what I'm working at these days, you have only to click HERE.

It is all about color around here these days, which is a far departure from my usual black and white palette. It is an adventure, and a challenge, and a holy terror to be honest. But the truth of the matter is that an artist does not choose his medium - it is the medium that chooses the artist. My colored pencils have grabbed me by the neck and are dragging me, inexorably, towards paints and brushes, and there is little I can do other than try and keep up as best I can. Which is a story for another day, and another newsletter.

fine art

photography

writing

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

The post News from Pausha’s Studio – March 2023 appeared first on The Art of Pausha.

The Art of Pausha

MU Rabbit Color Studies available FOR SALE

MU Rabbit Color Studies available FOR SALE

IN THE WINDOW LIGHT I

IN THE WINDOW LIGHT II

Repose in sunlight

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

MU DIDN'T CARE

I fully intend this coming month to focus on learning how to paint….

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

I appear to be colorblind.

I appear to be colorblind.

Here is what just happened:

COLOR

Here is what happened:

The reality of one’s creations has a way of verifying stories.

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

News from Pausha’s Studio – April 2023

News from Pausha’s Studio – April 2023

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RABBITS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

A DOVE LANDED ON A MAN'S HEAD.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

The Origin of the Rabbit

The Origin of the Rabbit

It was all downhill from there. Literally. The image of a rabbit-as-character out in the world gained momentum as it snowballed from serving merely as a fashion model to an artistic muse.

It is not always easy or comfortable to keep up with the wildness of the rabbit. Humans, after all, have limits, and the rabbit has none. Yet for the time being, where the rabbit leads, Christopher and I follow.

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

News from Pausha’s Studio – March 2023

News from Pausha’s Studio – March 2023

SURREAL WOMEN

RED IS THE NEW BLACK

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

It is not always easy or comfortable to keep up with the wildness of the rabbit.

Humans, after all, have limits, and the rabbit has none.

Yet for the time being, where the rabbit leads, Christopher and I follow.