Today’s post, Raising Boys, is especially resonant. It includes some ideas and some resources that parents can use now - during the summer time, and information that may help parents insure that their boys thrive once they are back in school.

Be sure to listen to the podcast, and check out the resources, including  the Guys Read info from the  Multnomah County library.

The most difficult thing about the cloth however, was deciding what to do with it. The girls’ first idea, quickly discarded, was to turn it into doll clothes. These were not doll playing girls, and besides, sewing those tiny stitches was too hard when the sun was beating down. A trip indoors for a cooling drink resulted in the discovery of a fat pile of many colored yarns; some big-eyed needles, two pair of kid-sized scissors, and inspiration.

As the mother of one of the girls, I can attest that they were busy all day. As the light faded, a stack of neat, pink flowered, (almost squares) of carefully embroidered and edged cloths sat on the purple work table under the tree where they worked. That was just the beginning.

During the school year I often write about how teachers and parents and mentors can encourage relationships and learning, stimulate creativity and promote productivity in the classroom and programs for kids. I write from an awareness of the many challenges that kids, schools and families are facing in these difficult times, and most of all, I write in the hope that some of the ideas and information I share will help kids be engaged in their learning, connected to their school and community, and fully- involved in activities that they feel passionate about.

But now, with summer vacation just beginning, and many parents and organizations scrambling for ways (and dollars) to fill kids’ time, I want to change gears a little and offer this story about the girls and the cloth as a reminder that, especially in these times when so many kids lead highly scheduled, busy and complex lives, there is more than one way to fill a summer day, and as a reminder, that adults are not the only ones who can (or should) provide kids with fun, diversion and creative opportunities.

So back to the girls:

On the following morning, after careful consideration, the now embroidered pink squares were identified as placemats. And placemats this beautiful definitely belonged on a party table. This was the moment when the real work began and the idea for a grand party began to take shape.

By summer’s end, the girls and their younger siblings (who they coerced into all manner of participation) held a surprise party for their parents, all of whom just happened to be born in September. The party was the core of their summer activities. (And need I mention all the summer learning that came as a result?)

Working together, the girls planned a ‘great’ dinner, plotted ways to get the food  and other things they needed for the meal (”without anybody knowing”), shopped with their own money (even collected cans to recycle to earn more), and requested “cooking lessons” so that the food got cooked, and the cake baked.

It didn’t end there. A play was written and performed (and later published! - but that’s still another story), and several poems transformed into lyrics for the songs that were offered as the evening’s musical-comedy entertainment. No one knows where the rehearsals took place, but the performance and costumes were memorable. As were the gifts, each personalized for the recipient and made by hand (more garage sale finds.) The candles on the (slightly lopsided) cake were dull compared with the light of pride, delight and imagination that lit the eyes of the party-givers.

It is truly hard to say who was richer for the experience, but it is safe to say that a good time was had by all. And to think it all began with a piece of second hand cloth, and the unstructured time of long summer days to see it blossom into whatever it could become.

So, what were the lessons that I learned that summer?

Give children time - free time - empty as a blank page to be colored by imagination and filled with the discoveries found in their own world - within and outside themselves.

Give children time - to dream, experiment, discover creatures in the clouds and ants in the grass. Give them unstructured time to play, and just be.

Give children time so that their creativity can flourish, friendships can grow and their ideas can come to full growth.

And, as long as you are still reading, one more tip … give children books - or better still, let them choose their own at the library. It may not constitute their idea of free time, but it can’t hurt. After all, they might find patterns for placemats, recipes for cakes, ideas for gifts, or simply the gift of something wonderful to read.

Happy Summer.

Mentoring is one of the most effective and certainly the most economical dropout prevention strategies. But in order to have positive effects, mentoring needs to incorporate the right elements, i.e., The Elements of Effective Practice.  

Kate Schineller,  VP of MENTOR, will present a full program about mentoring, including who needs mentors; what the research says; and program design and planning. She will then introduce listeners to a successful mentoring program for children of prisoners, the Caregiver’s Choice Project, a demonstration project of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and administrated by her organization, MENTOR.

Materials including the slide show/PowerPoint are available online now! On the day of the broadcast, go to http://www.dropoutprevention.org/webcast and select this program. You may participate live and call in questions of our guest. If you are unable to join us on the 16th, listen to the archived version or subscribe to our program on Itunes.

Any questions, contact ndpc@clemson.edu.

My school’s general population: This school, as well as the high school where the students are moving, is in an affluent urban neighborhood with very low ESL rates, high TAG rates, and socially/politically powerful families. However, about half of the students I’ll be talking about come from families of relative poverty by comparison.  

This Year’s Kids- why they are at risk for dropping out: Tom, Fred, Quasha, Tara, and Belinda are eighth graders heading to high school. Their needs vary but each has utilized learning center assistance and each- in her or his own way- is at particular risk for dropping out. Quasha and Tara are of racial minorities, come from low-income families, and have high rates of absenteeism and tardiness. Tom, Quasha, and Tara all express negativity about learning, education, and their futures. Fred has built very few peer or staff connections in his time at our school, acts out frequently in class, reports that teachers don’t respect him, has experienced school violence, and has had a number of school changes over the years. Belinda, Tara, and Quasha are negative about their body types, which they see as different from the norm. All of the students have learning disabilities, while Fred is gifted in science and math as well.        

Relationships: Over the last two years- as long as I have been at this school- I have moved from level one relationships, characterized by simple friendly, validating comments, to level two, wherein I have offered continual, more personalized support but without spending much time thinking about the possible individual impact of the relationship, and level three, wherein I hear directly from the kids about what does and does not work in terms of support for them. For example, I have worked closely with Tom for two years. He lives with high functioning autism, an issue which, amongst other complications, makes relationships and emotional expression difficult. He often comes off as abrasive and unsociable till you get to know him. Even after two years almost all of the giving has had to be mine with almost no acknowledgement, let alone open appreciation, on his part. Yet one day a few months ago, as I was helping him get through the assigned To Kill a Mockingbird, he stopped me to ask: “Do I ever say thank you?” When I asked, “Thanks for what?” he answered that he wanted to thank me for “reading to” him and helping him “understand” every day. Of course overt thanks are not why we do this work but it sure didn’t hurt.   

As these kids get ready to go to high school our relationship is at the level four, relay point. I have helped prepare both them and their new LC teachers for what to expect with one another by participating in discussions and introductions.  Because I do work with many of our LC students, both in the LC and in mainstream classroom, I’ve gotten to know them well, and I am in a good position to help with this transition to high school.  

Goals: My short term goal with this bridge has been to help these children (and we often forget that people going into high school are still, however big, kids) have less anxiety around their move to high school. Long-term goals include helping them connect with people who can assist them to make good behavior choices, keep up passing grades, find and explore their passions, graduate ready to be life-long learners, and use their education to positively change and equalize society.

Available resources: My co-workers, many of whom have worked in PPS much longer than I and a few of whom have previously worked at the high school, are resources. These folks have connected me with the appropriate people there and have helped me answer some of the students’ questions. Of course, staff at the high school are now resources as well. Further, students I have previously worked with who transitioned last year, and even parents, are potential resources.   

Actions taken/ plan of action for future: A little earlier this year I got to visit the school where they will attend to get the lay of the land. I also borrowed a PowerPoint that a co-worker had helped put together with pictures of the high school, and info on basic rules, school structure, extra-curricular opportunities, credit requirements, academic assistance options, etc. We went over the PowerPoint with the kids and took questions, dispelling some myths and getting back to students later with answers to those we could not answer at the time. Each student received a small, easy-to-read map of the school and help forecasting for next year’s classes. The first week of school I’ll check in with the kids, ask each how they are doing, remind them of ways that they have been successful in the past- using planners to track assignments, asking teachers questions after the bell if they are uncomfortable asking in front of the class, finding a trusted adult if confused, seeking out a trusted peer: Tom and Fred have been good for one another on occasion in this capacity as have Tara and Quasha- and I am always available; they have been given my work email- etc.     

The more comprehensive ‘bridge’ program I envision could look like this: each year kids who have successfully transitioned the year prior from our program to the high school across the street could be brought over to talk to our eighth grade kids. The older kids will have first-hand experience, know the SPED teachers and many of the gen ed teachers, know the rules, school layout, procedures, etc. These kids could show the PowerPoint mentioned earlier, answer questions, give the incoming students a school tour at the new building, allow them to shadow for a day, and provide light-duty mentorship during the early part of the transition. All of this would be organized and supervised by someone such as myself, a LC staff who can problem-solve and take responsibility when students need assistance.      

Any suggestions? Thanks!

This workshop, offered by Lewis and Clark College, is quuite relevant to the work that so many of you are doing these days, so, though it is through another school, I felt it was well worth listing here. If you attend, please share what you learned.

Also, be sure to visit the website for ideas, resources and more information.

Helping Boys Connect Through Physical Challenge and Strategic Storytelling

Friday, June 26, 2009
9 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Lewis & Clark
Albany Quadrangle - Smith Hall

How can we see boys as something other than as problems? How can we effectively help boys resolve the difficulties they face? This workshop will challenge you to see boys in new ways and provide you with the means to mentor young men to be more interpersonally engaged. Participants will learn about the research that underlies the BAM! approach as well as practice the adventure based activities and strategic storytelling methods used in BAM! groups.

Having worked independently for many years as advocates for boys, three Portland professionals teamed up to support boys and the adults who care about them. Peter Mortola, professor at Lewis & Clark and school psychologist; Howard Hiton, professional counselor in private practice; and Stephen Grant, social worker and school counselor, share a passion for boy’s issues. The result of their collaboration is a curriculum entitled BAM! Boys Advocacy and Mentoring, A Guidebook for Leading Strength-Based Boys Groups. (Routledge, 2008) BAM! groups encourage school-aged boys to accept broader perspectives on what it means to be male and helps them build the relational skills they need to become healthy men.

This workshop will give participants all that they need to effectively lead a BAM! group as well as ideas and strategies for working with boys in educational and counseling contexts.

This day of training is for:

• counselors,
• parents,
• mentors,
• coaches, and
• others who want to gain insights and skills for working with boys. 

Instructors: Peter Mortola, Howard Hiton and Stephen Grant
Noncredit or PDU/CEU: 7 hours, $195
Optional continuing education credit: CEED 866, .5 semester hour, $235 Cost includes a copy of the BAM! Guidebook and lunch.
For more information on BAM!, refer to the BAM! website.
Team discount: $180 per person for three or more individuals registering at the same time for non-credit/PDU/CEU only. All registrations must be received together.

Registration Information

Registration Form (pdf)

For more registration information

A projected 30 percent of all U.S. children will be immigrants or children of immigrants by 2015. And, according to mentoring expert Dr. Jean Rhodes, these youth are more likely to face stress related to exclusion, poverty and separation from family. Strain is placed on the parent-child relationship during assimilation, as well - creating an important need for caring adults and mentors to advocate for and foster resiliency in this population.

Developed with funding from the Charles Stewart Mott Foundation, the toolkit has 10 modules addressing topics such as population characteristics, an immigrant youth needs assessment, recommendations for working with these populations, defining program parameters, cultural competence tips and matching mentors with immigrant youth. The kit should be used as part of the larger How to Build a Successful Mentoring Program Using the Elements of Effective Practice.

To download this free resource, go to mentoring.org/immigrantyouth/.

This article from Oregon Campus Compact  - a statewide membership organization connecting community engaged colleges and universities with resources, convening the state for collaborative work and advocating for the civic mission of higher education.

 A person represented in this socio-economic class may not have access to all of the needed resources to improve oneself. It was noted in the article that one who grows up in poverty has a much higher chance of living in poverty as an adult. The lack of parental support, possibly due to their own low education level also plays a major role on whether a child drops out.

Peers influence each other all day long. I see a lot of positive influence, even in competition. Students want the attention from others, and the teachers, for doing good work. That causes them to put in more effort. I see kids wanting to be “the best” -  the best reader, the best writer, or the best at math. They are trying to impress their peers. The fact that this makes them work harder is a positive in my mind.

They also influence each other positively when they keep each other from doing things that would get them in trouble. For instance, there was a great deal of stealing during our school book fair last year. There were a group of kids who influenced each other negetively by giving them the idea to steal and making it “cool”. On the other hand, there were some students who influenced their peers not to steal. They told their friends, “You don’t want to get in trouble, so you shouldn’t steal.” They did not tell on the kids who stole, but they infuenced their friends not to.

Of course, it was negative influence that made stealing from the book fair seem cool. When kids saw that other kids were stealing and getting away with it, they tried it too. That was peer influence in action. Students didn’t even need to say anything; just by doing it and not getting caught, other students were influenced to try it also.

Peer relationships affect everything in school. As teachers and mentors, we need to remember that other students have just as much, if not more, impact on students. than we (and their family members) do.  

I think we realize this and use it in terms of teaching when we use cooperative group learning. But, we dont always use that in the social and emotional areas of school.

To encourage positive peer relationships, I use Tribes and cooperative learning. These help the kids learn to work together and they often end up teaching each other. The kids learn who is an expert in what area and can ask that student for help. Just by arranging the classroom so that students sit in groups, instead of isolation, fosters peer relationships.

I  think that positive relationships among students begins by the example that the teachers set. When the students see that the teacher likes and respects all of the students, they follow the model and treat each other with respect. They also do not need to compete with each other for teacher attention if the teacher is already genuinely respecting and liking all the students.

Another way the teacher can promote positive peer relationships is with classroom meetings. Starting at the beginning of the year, classroom meetings help create community and let the students get to know each other. It also tells them that the classroom is a safe place for them to share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.  This can also be a way to help them stay away from negetive peer influences.

One other key is helping kids find common interests: When children are allowed to decide topics of discussion during class meetings they usually bring up any issues that they need or want to discuss.

You can also set the tone for this by differentiating instruction and letting students pick projects by interest, by topic or final product - as long as it encourages students to work with students who have like interests. This is a great way for kids to interact positively … and learn.

For example:

• Describing a kid recovering from surgery, “jobs help him feel like he is participating even if he cannot do any of the games the other kids.”

• In a description of a very active kid: “Having a job gives her a purpose and makes her feel special without acting out. I give her little jobs to make her feel responsible.”

• Working with students in the garden, I … “create jobs for them to do together. I try to give a few instructions, and assign initial jobs, then step back and watch as they work together to accomplish a task.  …working together to solve a problem, kids learn a transferable skill they will need in the future.”

• “It is always interesting to see the social dynamics at work when kids set upon a task, and how they modify their actions to best do the work.

• “Jobs can be exciting, and get kids moving around, getting some of that energy out in constructive ways. Kids with jobs feel like they have a responsibility which is important I think for them. This then makes them feel motivated, and gives them a feeling of wanting to please.”
  _____________________

Lately, I have been reading about what it was like growing up during the Great Depression. One of the things that strike me about descriptions of these very hard times is that because families and the community depended on all their members, people felt a sense of purpose and connection. Each of them was important for the good of the whole. My students’ comments this week reinforce this idea. Give kids responsibilities; help them find ways to help others, in the classroom, at home and in the community. It makes a positive difference (in these very difficult times too) – and, as I like to say, everybody benefits.

What are the jobs that you assign in your classrooms or programs? How do you involve the kids you work with in the community, classroom and program? What jobs work? What did you like to do that made you feel important, or capable or happy?

Submit your comments below. Thanks

These ideas by Lisa really gets to the heart of the issues raised in Lessons 6 and 7

This is a great topic to open up for this group.  It is a question we as educators ask ourselves every day, “How do we engage our families so that they become an integral part of their child’s educational success?”  We have found that regardless of culture, language barriers, socioeconomic status, having minimal/maximum or no education at all, students will not have academic success unless their families are involved in their children’s academic process. 

Many of our families feel like they are unable to help their children due to either one or more of the following:  not finishing school themselves (sometimes the 3^rd grade is the highest they have attended); unable to read the language of the books; not understanding how the work is to be completed; and /or needing to work several jobs to keep the family “afloat” and not being home to help out with class work. 

So how do we engage our families?  Through school-to-home correspondence, teacher/parent conferences, emails/phone calls, after school activities, and in-school volunteer opportunities.  We work with families to teach them on how to set up an environment in their own home that creates centers for learning.  It may be just as simple as showing parents how a short break of play and snacks right after their child gets home from school, then setting up a quiet place in the home that is where all home work is completed, that sets up a routine for daily learning.  For parents who work many hours and are not home to help with class work?  Their children can stay after for homework club, or individual-group tutoring during their recess or lunch time during the school day.  After school activities, after 5:00 p.m., that engages families and their children to the learning process.  Activities such as reading nights, math nights, bingo games, etc…   These activities allow teachers to engage with their student’s families to help them understand the process of working together and how that leads to academic successes.   We have also made home visits in the evening to help engage families, or to make calls home later on in the evening to talk with parents personally. 

When students know that their parents/guardians are working closely with their teachers, students will work harder to be successful when the school and home have the same expectations of them.