PDX Ryguy

so long 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 08:10:00 +0000

Hello 2012!
My new years resolutions:
I can sit here and make promises about health and dieting but I'm not going to waste my breath. I will however be setting myself up for success.
I'll be 27 in less than 5 months and I aim to be out of my parents and on to independence. To do this I need a job of course, and to get one I need to stop waking up at 3pm!
I don't know if my dreams are unreachable now but I'm going to find a way to be happy again and get my confidence back.
So yes, new years resolution?
Get my sh-- together.

As for how I spent new years, there was a few tempting plans but I opted for a movie with my brother Randy. We saw New Years Eve (only even got the idea because Lea Michele is in it)
it only reminded me that life is short and we can't spend our life in regret or fearing change, we just need to embrace what we have and do what we can and enjoy what life has to offer, not what it 'could' offer

here's to a good winter this year

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 03:11:00 +0000

So today I did a shoot with Janae, things went pretty well and we had a lot of fun. I'm still getting used to having lights, and even the new lens takes some practice. It was rather cold outside but we braved through it. I thought I'd stick to posting Holiday pics in the post, but I uploaded 4 more pics on Facebook.

As for how I'm doing lately, I've learned the hard way that I'm not in a place where I can devote attention and success to school. Perhaps in a year or two once I am back on track with an income, but I need to focus on getting a job that can eventually turn to part time when I need to return to college. Many years after graduation, I'm still being sheltered by family, and although I appreciate the love they share with me, I need to stand on my own two feet, so it's time for me to find a job and save up to move out.

Truth be told I do enjoy work, I like keeping busy and hate days stretching on. I like fast paced work environments, but I promised myself after so much time behind a cash register that I won't return to retail again. Stubborn as I may be, I am excited for the challenge in finding a work environment thats new and fresh, but also something I can excel at.

Recently I had some tooth pain and had bad news from the dentist, seems I don't take care of myself as well as I should (go figure, right?), so finding a job may be priority 1, but getting my hygiene and health in order is 2nd.

Hopefully over the next few weeks I can start getting back into portraits, after today it's obvious I'm getting rusty. I'll always have composition high in my thoughts, and I can wing it with the best of them, but technical things like wardrobe, location, lighting, things that are less in my control are what's bringing my portfolio down.

Well enough talk. Main point is this: I may be down, but I'm not out!
Expect a rant probably around New Year's, though :)

Rain

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:04:00 +0000

I'm a sucker for rain!
Not exactly tropical storms but the Oregon weather has always been ideal to me. Sometimes I don't even bother with a coat

I never use an umbrella because I love the feel of the rain through my hair; comparable to driving with the top down to feel the wind. Every drop leaves me a moisturizing feel. Like my life is a Garnier commercial, without the fruit.

The cold never bothers me, I prefer it. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a thick guy but I'd rather be chilly and toss on a jacket then expose myself more because its so darn hot outside.

Anyways I Just thought I'd mention it. I love the rain!

Eight Lovely Women

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:03:00 +0000

It's not every day I meet so many pretty ladies within a couple hours, but today I did!
These beauties all are represented by NYX Promotions, and talking with Alexa Perbix, one of the co-owners and a friend of mine, we decided to get some of the ladies together for some photos. Most of them have yet to do a photoshoot as an adult until now, so it was refreshing to see that not only can they push a product, they can also work well with the camera :)

I'm really hoping I get to work with a lot of these ladies again, today was very quick, and most of the shoots didn't last more than 20 minutes each, but we got some winners all the same. Just imagine how much magic we can create with my usual 2 hour shoot! I'm excited to find out, are you?

These pics are my faves I took of each model, but theres many more unseen (yet)

A few shots of Kelsey

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 05:38:00 +0000

I feel like things are picking up slowly, and photo shoots are rolling in once again, but the weather has been preventing more growth. As for today, I came across this smiling scarlet haired girl on facebook and thought she'd be good for my portfolio. My guess was right :)

She has a ton of energy and a positive outlook, and can really nail down those happy looks. It rained most of the day, but somehow we were still able to get in some good photos. I also don't think I mentioned that last weekend I purchased a new lens, a Canon 50mm f/1.8. The extra shallow depth of field really makes the portraits pop, it was between that and some lights, and although I can't shoot inside very well, the outdoor pics looks so much better now. I would point out however that the distortion of the focal distance can be awkward at times, in the areas where we shot on the sidewalk, there wasn't much room to back up on, even downtown.

During this outing, we visited Voodoo Donuts and checked out their new construction look, and even put a quarter in the 24hour Church of Elvis, though that was less exciting than the first time I did it. A little bit nontraditional, but hey, that's how I roll.

(technical difficulties, please stand by)

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 09:57:00 +0000

So I'm working on polishing this up, but if things seem a little weird or out of context, it might be due to the fact that I took ALL my blogs of various subjects and imported them all into this one central blog.

There's posts dating back to 2007 or so, but they got all mushed together in the date for 4/4/08 (which i guess is one of the times i gave up on myspace and started using Blogger).

This blog is supposed to be for anything exciting, personal, interesting or informational that I feel like posting about. Some of them will be diary/journal types of entries, some will be based on my photo shoots or events I goto, some will be reflective or to give something I like more exposure, and some will just be me ranting about how much I love the color orange. Whatever I feel like, really.

I'll try to stay on top of my punctuation and spelling, but no promises.
At this point in my life I'm looking to take things to the next level, get out of my comfort zone and find success a bit more than I have before. I also got a new HTC Status phone, so I may be posting via mobile once I set it up, if something is so exciting it can't wait.

I also should point out that this by default posts to pdxryguy.blogspot.com, but soon will be under just pdxryguy.com (don't steal my domain before I register? lol), and also will occasionally be available via RSS (working out the kinks) and might even auto-upload as a Note on my Facebook profile. So if you don't see this on Blogger, no worries, but hopefully that added a little context?

to the pumpkin patch!

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:45:00 +0000

Another fun day!
It's been sooooo long since I've been to a pumpkin farm
All the mud and pumpkins and outdoors-y-ness was awesome!
I can't wait to dig out those delicious seeds out of my new hand-picked pumpkin!

Beth's Comic-Con Birthday Bash!

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Fun games? Check.
Fun snacks? Check.
Fun people? Check.
Fun night? absolutely.

I probably should have used one of the food photos as the top 3, but I decided to focus on the people.
There was candy sushi, one variety had powdered donuts and swedish fish as the nigiri type, and twinkies wrapped in fruit roll-up as the maki type :) Dinner was a Cup Noodles and the best part was the pumpkin cupcakes (as per my request lol)

We played some Rockband and had some fun talks in between the lengthy loading and save screens.

All in all I think it was a fantastic evening.

Josh and Mer

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 06:00:00 +0000

So here we have a fantastic band, Josh and Mer (joshandmer.com) and they were releasing their new (first?) CD during First Thursday at Backspace.

Josh and Mer are an indie rock duo of Josh Schroeder and Meredith Adelaide, and I found the show to be rockin' and the tracks to be calming and a great pairing with homework zen

If you think Meredith looks familiar, it might be because I did 2 or 3 shoots with her a couple years back, as well as she's done very well as an actress and model in the area for some time now.

Great collaboration and great music!

Intro/Welcome!

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:20:00 +0000

You're probably wondering what exactly do I mean when I say I'm "Obsessed with Orange"
Well, if you haven't guessed already, I love the color ORANGE. One might even say I'm obsessed with it.

Why Orange?

Well growing up, I thought I like blue. Meh, too easy. My brother Robby always liked Red, and we often got styled like twins thanks to our torturous parents. Same hair style, same clothes, same stuff, only he got the red things and I got the blue things. B-o-r-i-n-g. As we became more independent, I found blue to be less exciting the more I tried to make it a part of my life. It's not like one day I woke up and was like "I am going to enjoy Orange now!", but nonetheless I was hooked at some point. I don't know what initially started it, and can't place when, but it had to be at least three years ago. What is it about orange that I like? Here's where it gets super cheesy and will sound a bit cliche.

Orange is a hue, that in my mind, is not too bright, not very dark, not too bold, and not too dull. Much like myself. I see myself as an intelligent being, but I'm no prodigy. I'm friendly but I make stupid mistakes. I have a lot of spunk and energy around most people but I'm fairly shy. If I explained my day to day activities it probably wouldn't interest you, but at least I strive for excitement.

It's also a color that's everywhere, but kind of hidden. If you look hard enough, you fill find many things that are orange, but it's not near as common as red, blue, green or even pink. Much like myself, I find myself to be somewhat unique in my own way and a bit of a treasure (tee hee), but I'm only unique to a point, if you look hard there's plenty of others like me, and maybe better or worse options of the same thing you're looking for.

Besides it being relative to myself, it's rare enough to be like a treasure hunt for me. My favorite thing while shopping is to find a good bargain on an orange thing, as I don't intend on paying much more for something just because it comes in the greatest color ever, but it's a real treat when it's half the price of those other ordinary pallets.

I'm obsessed. I have an orange cloth measuring tape, orange jacket, orange sofa, orange frying pan, orange pens, orange Timbuk2 bag, orange water bottle, orange shirts.. the list goes on..

I'm also somehow attracted to orange haired women. Boy do I love those gingers :)

Oddly enough, orange food excites me too. This is not because of the color, but more of a coincidence, though no one would probably believe me. Favorite chips? Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream. Favorite pop? Diet Sunkist. Best flavor in most candies and drinks? Orange. I'm also partial to many citrus or tropical scents and flavors. I love those tiny oranges (satsuma?), and dried mango is to die for. I also love anything pumpkin flavored, as well as pumpkin seeds :)

Speaking of pumpkins, I've learned that Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. Christmas kind of died out when I became an adult, once I stopped getting LEGOs and X-Men figures the magic was gone. Being a photographer, I find dressing up for a holiday is the best, and zombies and vampires are some of my favorite sci-fi subjects (besides time travel) and they of course fit best with Halloween.

Reading this you probably still don't really get it. Once I start getting some posts out, maybe reality will sink in and you will know exactly how far this obsession goes.

~

Something to note also is that this blog will now have anything and everything orange I think about, see, do, or whatever. If I see a cool car and it's orange, it's going in here. If I feel like talking about how awesome Clockwork Orange is, it's going in here. Does peanut butter count as orange? if so, it's going in here. Spot an oompa loompa in downtown portland? guess where it's going? that's right. here!

more About Me

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 06:50:00 +0000

I've been meaning to post something for quite some time now.
I pretty much knew what I wanted to say, but keep forgetting what it was, or just forgetting to do it.
As it would be, that's kind of the topic of this evening's post. Forgetfulness. Well, almost.

THINGS I'M GOOD AT

MAKING LISTS. Some may find this odd, but I find myself doing this more than any one thing. I can't say it's always productive, I can't say it's always beneficial, but it feels good when I get one going. This includes writing schedules and changing them lol, doing research on in-game economy's, organizing model stats, writing down ideas for photo shoots, planning college registrations, all sorts of stuff. That being said, although I'm no pro at it, I use Microsoft Excel nearly every day, and not too often is it actually for homework :)
MAKING FRIENDS. Again, these points are specific. I'm not always good at keeping friends, or talking to people, but once I break the ice, I usually make a good impression. I don't have many very close friends, but who really does? Anyways... a friend one time noticed me while I was working at Safeway years ago and said I can approach anybody. I'm super shy, which is funny because once I get over it you would have never guessed that I'm shy, but it doesn't matter what background, race, religion, ethics, whatever you may have, I can relate to you, or at least get you interested or laughing.
TECHNICAL STUFF. What do I mean? Well, in my family, I'm always the guy to hook up and program the VCR, set up cameras, help out with computers.. whatever. When I worked at Rite Aid I picked up on the photo processing machine pretty quickly, and before I even spent whole shifts working in the photo department I was helping customers and employees alike. This carried over into photography and film. Honestly I don't find myself to be a very creative person, I just know and recognize composition, lighting, etc and use them to my advantage. It's difficult for me to come up with ideas but I can compose and light on the fly quite effectively. I'm also very quick about keyboard shortcuts that people often don't notice, and when it comes to video editing I got all the procedures down, and was often the one fellow students came to when they got lost.
HELPING SOLVE PROBLEMS. As stated before, people come to me, because I know how to do those tedious things they don't have the time, capacity, energy or interest to figure out. It seems computers run our lives in this day and age, yet there's still many where even things like how to search on Google is a mystery. That's where I come in. It doesn't stop with software either, I have a desire to help out in many ways outside of technology. I often see tourists downtown looking at maps and am usually the first to point them in the right direction. People get out their phones and dial the number for TriMet and punch in a billion codes to get the next arrival times, and I just save them the effort and let them know I just checked it and it's x minutes away. It may not sound like much, but little by little I like to think I made someone's day or life a little bit easier.
REMEMBERING VISUALLY. This will be covered more in-depth in the next section, but I can't remember much that I don't see. You can talk to/at me all you like, you can write me a million notes or remind me, but I'll forget it. I'm sure there's some fancy doctor mumbo jumbo I could be diagnosed with, but all I know is that I have a very photographic memory. If I write something down, and look at it while I write, it'll stay in my head better. I remember a lot of things from my past, sometimes in the wrong colors (wtf?) but most the details usually check out. This is especially freaky because I get Deja Vu a lot, sometimes it's an accurate feeling where I happened to be in a place a decade earlier and forgot, and other times there's something similar about a person or place and I can't always place it. Another thing about having a photographic memory is I never forget a face, I'm terrible with names and details, but I will recognize you if I have seen you before.

THINGS I'M BAD AT

REMEMBERING EVERYTHING ELSE. Like I said, I can't remember squat about names, details, etc. I find myself asking the same questions over and over, I hope I don't drive my friends nuts. This has been getting worse recently, not sure why, as not much has changed as far as diet or lifestyle goes (even though it should have). I also find myself losing track of whatever it is I was doing. In fact I've done that about 6 times now just typing this up! I can come up with great ideas sometimes, which is rare when my creativity is low naturally, but if I don't write it down...
TACT. Feels like I spelled that wrong... oh well. Essentially I have the best intentions usually at hand, but I have never been good about putting things into words, or delivery of them. I've heard the term 'creepy' tossed around, and though I've never been accused of it out loud, from my understanding I don't know how to talk to women most of the time. Apparently it's bad form to compliment their eyes in most situations. I've never said obscenities or anything that would fall under sexual harassment, but I've found that even though something may seem like a sweet thing to say, things aren't like in the movies.
FINISHING WHAT I START. I'm a quitter. No big deal. My great downfall in life is that I usually give up before I get anywhere with a project or goal. Sometimes I'll write a paper and start off strong but slowly try to wrap it up and things become out of context and unsupported. Following through with diets is often a failure, I dropped a lot of classes in the past and paid for it, even sometimes I write ideas down and pursue them but never end up doing them.
SELF CONTROL. The only thing I'm good about controlling, though my parents might disagree, is my temper. I can be very calm or even humorous under some crazy situations, and hold my tongue more times than I can count, because I know the consequences of saying things without think about them first. However! This ability does not carry over into diets, exercise, goals.. well that's about it. I kept telling myself I wouldn't play World of Warcraft anymore, and every time I'm back on in a couple months. Then I tell myself I'll only be on a few hours at night, and I play all day. If it wasn't for the fact my account got banned, I'd be on it right now. It's not the game though, it's me. I got an addictive personality. I've quit soda a dozen times, counted calories, cut back on sugar, all sorts of diets in all sorts of ways. I'm great at strategies and makings lists (duh) but terrible at stopping myself, especially when things are put in front of me out of my control, like family dinners. I could order the salad or just take a little bit, but I usually get the fattiest thing on the menu or the biggest plate.
TYPING UP BLOGS. No, but seriously... I am so bad about remembering to write in this... check my history lol.

I intend on doing better about these things I'm bad at. I keep a notepad with me in my back pocket everywhere I go, and sometimes put ideas into a file in Excel that I re-visit often. I enter things into Google Calendar as soon as I plan them, and look at it a few times a day so I know what's ahead. My goal for getting healthy is to start small and gradually become more active. First steps would be counting calories, having a regular sleep schedule, eating same times each day and working out with a friend once or twice a week. Something else I'm good at? AMBITION.

~ speaking of which, look for orangepdx.blogspot.com for my new blog ~

Jeremy & Michelle

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 23:55:00 +0000

Well it seems lately couples photos is something I'm going to be doing a lot of this month, and one of those was with Jeremy Dean Chapman and Michelle Younger. Unsure of if I'd secure transportation to Portland, I had these two meet me in Gladstone, and we went to Meldrum Bar Park where I've shot before a few times.

It was a warm day yet there wasn't many people out and about, so there was the right amount of privacy to allow for many good angles, and we had a fun time too. Clothing options were limited, but we made it work. We got a few photos from many areas of the park, and it almost felt like the sun followed us as we moved from one spot to the next

today was very successful.

Where did I leave off?

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 03:42:00 +0000

I don't know how many people have actually been following my status updates or very very infrequent blog posts, so once again, let's update:

At this present time, I am staying in Texas, courtesy of my brother Jon and his wife, Heather. They were awesome enough to fly me out here to watch my nieces, Ashley and Hayley for the summer. I return in about a month, and one on hand I'm getting used to things out here finally, on the other hand, I am quite home sick.

Never did I think when I moved back to my parents after flunking out of PSU that I'd be be wishing I was there. Mostly I miss my friends, I've gotten a million event invites and there's so much going on this year that I wish I could do both.

Anyways yes, I didn't do so well with college. It's taken me a very long time to get back in the game since I left the Art Institute (financial aid issues), things are just done so different there compared to the traditional school. I am going to Clackamas Community College now, and I can proudly say I survived my first term there and started to make some friends already.

Photography thing is still going slow, but that's okay. I am at the point where I really don't care about bringing in money from it, until I can snag my own studio of some sort. I like spending money, but I actually don't get too excited about receiving it, or for that matter.. losing it. I'm going to try to be more frugal and efficient with my cash now that I need to focus on school, but I want to make it a goal to get out of Gladstone more often, as much as I love the area.

Most importantly, I am still shooting for positivity. I've never had a good memory of being angry or pessimistic, yet I always end up there. I hate the idea that I've broken so many bridges over the years, and some of those bridges just vanished without a trace. I'd like nothing more than to make up for all my wrong doing, even if it seemed justified at the time.

The moral of this is I still want more out of life. I'm trying to get back to being healthier, and to have strong bonds with my friends, and less drama. I want to continue to push myself in school and life, and never have to write a blog like the past.. 100 that I have wrote.. where all that seems to be on my mind is that life sucks and I'm going nowhere fast.. because its not true, and I won't even let it be.

Lexy & the best Friday the 13th ever!

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sat, 14 May 2011 07:26:00 +0000

Would you believe there was seals in the Clackamas River?

Maybe I was wrong, not that I have any marine experience, but it seemed like seals, even made the cute little sounds they make, but it seems they are SEA LIONS. Either way on a busy fishing day, the geese stood by at shore while the sea lions tossed around salmon. I wonder if all the boats out there were actually fishing or just trying to get at the sea lions.

ANYWAYS, despite the high levels of the river, and the unexpected swimmers, I got a good photo shoot session in.

Here we have Alexa Perbix.

After many messages on modelmayhem, facebook, and texting, we finally settled on the time and place.

At the start we tried for some sports themes, and played around with a soccer look, combining various turqouise pieces

later with the sun quickly going down, we aimed for swimwear.

after which, she put on a skirt, shoes and a tank top and we ended up with this gem

just when I thought everything was set, I decided to try one more idea.

I was inspired by a photo from 2009, and since Lexy had mostly sportswear on hand, I went with a hoodie instead of a jacket and a navy/black bra. found a decent brick building not far from the river and well...

that's not the end of my great night!

-SPOILER ALERT!-

maybe the best part of the week is the great 2-hour series finale of Smallville, where Clark finally fulfills his destiny. 10 years to lead up to this night, and I feel like the last 15min were better than all the scenes before it. though the last shot was sort of a let down. it seems as though they focused on the blocking too much and the timing suffered. still awesome though.

Misty and Brett

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sat, 14 May 2011 06:48:00 +0000

My best friend of 3 years is engaged!

The fabulous Misty Maxey will be getting hitched with Mr. Brett McQuiston~

We found a fun concrete wall near their apartment and took some photos to make an impression on facebook.

Here's a few samples of what I ended up with:

and now it's 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 07:07:00 +0000

It's been over 4 months since I've written anything, and maybe that's a good thing.
The past year has been pretty bad to me, considering how 2008 and 2009 went, 2010 was a complete blunder.
In '08, I got into AI and that was awesome. I've never been great at doing homework, but I got by okay, even still had enough A's to be proud. I had all this new found wisdom about design and was excited to put it to use. Towards the end of that year, I ended up finding a new passion in photography, and it seemed like what I learned the months before were paying off.

Come January, with the help of Joseph Konty's determination to make use of me, I got lots of practice and met a lot of great people, only more so via my work with Blank Apparel. 2009 was off to a great start, and it looked as if I was on top of the world. I was starting to get credible work out of my photography, and had an amazing time working with great artists to hone my craft. But then, funding fell through and I had to leave AI. I should have seen 2010 looming ahead of me, because it was almost like a look into the future when I went to PCC. Not a lot of people know this, but I totally failed/dropped all my classes for the one term I went there in the fall of 09. I was excited, I finally got my own camera with the financial aid... but then all my contacts kind of dried up. Everybody wanted to work with me, so they said, but I had no camera.... yet as soon as I acquired my own, no one would meet with me.

Naive as I was, I thought 2010 would be a wonderous time. I was so confident that I was doing well, than in my haste to get my photography career off the ground, my blessing in disguise, PSU, was slipping away from me. First I'd miss a class that didn't take attendance.. or I knew you could miss 5 classes or something before it counted... but the days went by and it all added up... and I was again failing and dropping classes when I would have passed them if I had just shown up. I may suck at homework, but a lot can be said for being on time and present for classes. In the spring I got more into fitness and did pretty well for 2 months, but slipped away as usual. Out of nowhere were these fees for school that I still don't know how they got there.. but I started becoming in debt to the university while I was still attending. First Spring aid didn't come, and then Summer term, but not until I quit my job thinking I'd be ok. Then shortly after the news of my academic sucky-ness reared it's ugly head, and well... here I am. Unemployed, living at my parents with no academic future. I can't even transfer credits because both the Art Institute and Portland State have me in collections from debt, not to mention the 8 outstanding credit card issues I have.

I want to do better this year, but my depression has been at an all time low these past 6 months, and from where i'm standing it doesn't look like it'll be any better anytime soon. I want to eat better, but since I have no income, I have very very little control over what's available to choose from. I want to work out, but since I'm depressed and tired all the time and it's damn cold outside.. I can't get myself to do it. I wanted to goto school this term, but since I thought I could wrap it up quickly, I didn't get going on the paperwork, and now I hear it's 12 weeks to process financial aid papers, so there's that.

Here's how it's going to be, then;

I can't make any promises. Obviously.
But I had a bit of an awakening... and when u spend as much time, alone and awake in bed, you have plenty of time to think. My thoughts are these:
I make a lot of excuses, and I rely on things that are hardly reliable.
So I'm going to own up to it, and do my best to avoid setting myself up for dissapointment again.
I may not be happy, but I won't allow myself to go any deeper than I already have into self-loathing.

The goal here is to not get sad about the past. Sure there's plenty of things I would have done different.. but at the same time... I can see how some bad things ended me up in good spots.. even if only for a little while. So NO REGRETS.

Secondly, LIVE IN THE PRESENT. The future may not look good, or may have the illusion of grandeur, but I won't be fooled any longer. Nearly every time I count on something, I get let down. If I put all my eggs in one basket, I just end up with yoke all over the place.

Lastly, NO EXCUSES. Own up to your failures, and accept things for how they are now. Let good things happen and don't wish for anything better, because all it does is bring light to what could have been or should have been.

I have had a whole in my soul because I have no way of relieving my stress. Instead of exercise, I've been under self-appointed house arrest for the past week. My body is tired because all I do is sleep or lay in bed. So I need to get out more. I also have been in the dumps because I've had no creative outlet since May. I've had a few shoots since, but in my glory days I'd crank out the same 4 shoots in the past 6 months into one week.. sometimes a day. I've really resorted to begging at times. When I think there's a glimmer of hope to work with a model and make something nice, they don't get back to me or hide when I try to set up a time and day. Maybe it's just the time of year... but I'm determined to get in 4 more solid shoots before the sun starts coming out regularly.

I also haven't gotten any calls or texts or emails or anything in months. I'm sure I've become more nasty since my situations have changed, and desperation is not attractive, but for god sakes I am socially dry right now. I need to wet my lips with the goodness that is human interaction. What is the point of life if I can't share it with others? It's gotten so pathetic that I can't even get responses online anymore. It's like I'm dead to the world, and I feel worthless because of it.

So besides living in the NOW and not making excuses... I need to get my life back. No.... not get it back... just get a LIFE, period. If people won't help me out on this, I'll find new friends somehow. Soon as I moved a mere 12 miles away, it's like I died... except maybe then I'd get some facebook attention. How sad is that?

So that's all, now.
2011 = A new life. Living for today.

o yea, and time to stop being such a fatty mcfatterson and get off my lazy ass so that when I do have a social life, I don't die going on walks with friends.

changes are coming, some not soon enough

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Do you ever find yourself unable to sleep, and in your restlessness, instead of drifting into a dream you drift into a depression.. that only keeps you up even more?

For those who actually know me, they know I can be somewhat.... unhinged at times.

I've never really thought of myself as emotional, but I think it was because I just share my feelings differently.

As I grew, my #1 goal was to be friends with everyone, and to be happy. As more mistakes piled up, my happiness became a disguise, from the storm brewing inside my mind. This year I've really come to terms with who I am and what I'm capable of, but at the same time.. what I can't do.

When you spend years trying to hide your discontent from most people, the ones close to you suffer the most, because they are the ones that are around you when it all comes out. I see a lot of anger inside me, festering and growing, and many times I wished I'd held my tongue a little sooner. There's really only one person that understands me best, and that's been through a few years of... well trial and error. It's difficult to even talk about things with people close to me, because I know that just the tip of the iceberg has let itself rear its ugly head to them, and I'm terrified for them to realize how far gone in my mind I can become, so I bottle it up.

All this self-containment has been a double-edged sword, because if it's not obvious to everyone I know already, I really very much dislike confrontations. I hate to be THAT guy to bring up the elephant in the room, I've always wanted to be accepted and loved, even by strangers, and I feel like anything I say or do stays with those I interact with, so I better take my steps carefully.

However, there's a theme coming here... if you put too much focus into your defenses, your bound to overlook something while taking on too much. Whenever I'm stressed or distraught, I'm trying to deal with that situation, and any foreign issues entering in get the brute, and the cobra strikes. So when I should work out my problems, I respond harshly to anything out of sync with my pursuit of perfection. I may be in a feud with someone over one issue, and snap at someone I hardly know over missing an appointment because of very understandable, yet ignored excuses. In my ignorance I tarnish my relationship with them from the start, and well.. first impressions are the ones that last. My outlook is no matter how much I butter them up, my outburst will be in the back of their mind for as long as I know them.

Because I feel like such a failure with these encounters, it only feeds my depressions. It spiked before I left high school, and has not left me since. Sure, I can become in a good mood very easily, but my emotions turn on a dime, and instead of rage, all I feel is sorrow and worthlessness. This is only amplified by the fact that I've seen a steady track record of never finishing or giving anything my full potential. Some things, like dieting... are definitely common to have hiccups with. Changing a lifelong habit is not going to happen in a few months. The thing is, I never really give anything more than that. Sometimes I bounce back and forth, trying something out again, thinking... believing it will be a good fit this time, but before 90 days are up, I'm done with it.

As you may or may not know, these are the issue that have got me where I am now. Unemployed, moving into my parents, and flunking out of college. I put a couple months into one department, went to another, and after some time off, some needed and most unwanted, I quit my job. Thinking I'd survive off financial aid for awhile, waiting and waiting until it never came. Meanwhile, my lack of attention to my grades in school has caused me to sabotage myself. While I was enjoying living downtown and meeting new people, both professional and social relationships building, I've burnt some bridges, albeit in a town full of bridges.

So once reality set in, and my gpa's destruction imminent, I had to figure out my next step. Without a job, and money saved, I couldn't find a place to stay, and had roughly a month to move out of student housing. Thankfully, my parents gave in, and welcomed me back. I make the move in a few days, but I know things are going to be different than what I've been used to the past couple years, not to mention since graduation.

Alas, here I am, humble and broken.

Since therapy is out of my reach, (within my situation), I must get my act together by myself.

What's been working for me the past decade has NOT been working. So I must find a new approach to life.

If there's one thing I've learned, is not to make promises if you can't keep them. I toss around visions of success only to let people, and more importantly, myself down. These acts only build on my insecurities and lack of faith in my own possibilities of overcoming life's obstacles.

So I, promise nothing.

What I do say.. is I will work on it. In every facet of my life, I will strive to be better. I can only hope that as I find more confidence and respect for myself, others will see it and have respect for me as well. This, is the key to success.. to me. Believe in yourself, and everyone else will believe in you, too.

That's it.

Goal #1: No more goals.

All time low

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 16:14:00 +0000

I'm writing this so those who haven't been in the loop recently can catch up..

After much procrastination, denial, mistakes and ignorance I have flunked out of portland state. I started there in winter/january and its just been downill. When I went to the art institute the majority of my courses were very technical, engaging and successful, but once I had written assignments at psu, for whatever reason I couldn't hack it.

on top of all this I quit my job at safeway 6 weeks ago because my relationship with night crew was causing a lot of stress and I wasn't get any hours as well. I was at a high point for a bit with my tax refund and birthday money, and had high hopes with financial aid. I never received my disbursement and now I'm broke and have to move out of the dorms in less than a month (sep 1) and I so far have nowhere to go.

I don't know what to do, I'm trying to look for a job, but I haven't ever had to put much effort in before as all my past jobs have practically fallen in my lap. even if I get hired today there's no way to pay for moving costs and deposits to get a place in 3 weeks.

I just need to get over this hurdle and I know I can get my life straightened out. my photography is progressing and I've been reconnecting with friends, my heart is at peace but my wallet as empty as it is, weighs down on me far too much for comfort.

My American Studies Paper

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Wed, 05 May 2010 22:17:00 +0000

I had to write a paper for my American Studies class, and it had to be relevant with the readings. I chose to go with the slave narrative of Frederick Douglass and compare it to some points made in Morgan Spurlock's book, "Dont' Eat This Book". My focus was on how school kids can be like slaves to some programs and school district's policies. Kind of different, but there you go.

Enjoy.

A lot of people might be wondering... “How is there a connection from the quality of food slaves got in the 1800s to the lunch programs in 21^st Century schools?” This might be quite obvious with some thought, but there countless people in America who are oblivious or ignorant of what is going on with their public school’s nutrition standards. The mission is to get everyone else on the same page on what should be an important issue. Speaking of pages, a big focus of this paper is in Frederick Douglass’ narrative. Let us take a look at a small, but significant passage:

The men and women slaves received, as their monthly allowance of food, eight pounds of pork, or its equivalent in fish, and one bushel of corn meal. (Douglass 54; ch. 2)

According to Rhode Island’s standard measurements, a bushel of corn meal is approximately fifty pounds (“Title 47”). Fifty is seemingly a large number, but for something like corn meal, it is hardly ideal. Combining the pork and looking at nutrition numbers alone, they meet the average caloric needs (Covey 20). However, this is mixed in with insane amounts of carbohydrates and little or no fiber, if dry (calorie count). It is not certain if these needs are based on someone working long hours in a field, while being whipped or not (Douglass 51; ch. 1). According to a 2009 survey from the American Heart Association, only thirty-two percent of Americans claim to do physical activity (American Heart Association 4), which we can assume is more than getting up from the couch to use the bathroom. Consider your average slave for a moment: Plowing, sowing, picking, all day long, from sunrise to sunset. Then they go to their quarters and sleep in harsh, uncomfortable terrain and conditions (Douglass ch. 5). On top of this, apply the effects of weather like temperature and seasonal changes, and it does not matter who you are, that’s a rough daily physical routine.

We have not even touched on the subject of the yearly clothing allotments. It would seem to be common knowledge that in the cold winter months most people wear more layers to keep warm. For the slaves, many will have the same clothes all year, causing them to be worn out very easily and they would work nearly naked, in every season, including winter (Douglass 54; ch. 3). It does not take a rocket scientist to know that when you are numb and freezing due to lack of insulation and a low body temperature, that performing physical labor is more than difficult. Let us not forget slaves could be frequently whipped, most of the time for unforeseeable reasons. Ever do some gardening after thirty lashes? The point is, they did not get nearly enough rest, nutrition, or comfort to perform their tasks without error, which only caused more whips to be used. In fact the slaveholders would shame a slave by giving them more food rations when they asked for it, that they would have to eat it quickly. When they could not take another bite, the slaveholder would whip the slave, claiming them to be hard to please (Douglass 116, ch. 10).

How does this apply to America today? If we want to talk in metaphors, consider the whip to be Ritalin and failing report cards. The labor is in the student’s studies and schoolwork. To avoid getting those D’s and F’s, we ‘encourage’ them to try harder, putting many varieties of children in one general category. If they cannot keep up with the brightest or hardest working girls and boys, we bring the issue to our family physicians, who in turn, over diagnose it as Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD/ADHD (Bromfield). There have been studies and observations in school districts that directly link a student’s health and daily nutrition with their academic standing (HealthyYouth). You would think that with this knowledge, proper nutrition would be of highest priority, a likely story.

With more unhealthy kids, we get unhealthy grades. What is unhealthy anyways? It’s not about how many calories you count; it’s not about eating nothing but celery for every meal, or not eating any bread. It’s not about what you cannot do; it’s about what you can do. The way to a healthier lifestyle is as easy as walking to school. Physical Education courses are declining, and students get their parents to drive them to school these days (Spurlock 28). With even Mom or Dad going to school now too, it could only help their busy schedule if they don’t need to spend all that time taking their children to school. Surely you’ve heard of taking the stairs instead of the elevator, this concept doesn’t just apply to office workers.

They can’t help choose bad foods, though. Somewhere inside their head, they know fast food isn’t good for them, but they go for it. Sugary cereal and snacks full of sodium and trans fat, are just a delicious ticket to their tiny little graves. With education, adults can filter these choices much easier, but the young mind is easy to lead astray, and the marketing executives of these big food companies know this, and take advantage. It’s very similar to the issues we’ve had with the tobacco industry. Countless dollars are spent making the low quality, high sugar junk food look ‘cool’ to kids (Spurlock 47) When they are approached about the connection between marketing to children and the health risks of their products, they put the blame on the consumers. Claiming they aren’t responsible for their free will, and don’t offer much in the way of nutritional information that could put the spotlight on the negative effects.

Of course, parents don’t have much education in proper nutrition much more than their kids do. The cereal companies will label their products with things like “fortified with Calcium”. Many vitamins and minerals are now present deep inside these boxes, but by making it seem healthy, they can raise the prices. The parent gets a guilt trip to buy it because it has their child’s favorite cartoon character on the box, and they feel better about it because of the nutrients. If they would just get the regular cereal and buy chewable vitamins, they would save plenty (Spurlock 154). Let’s back up a bit for a second, we were talking about school lunches.

Many schools have been featuring fast food chains right in the cafeteria. The big companies will break a deal with the school, like pay for football uniforms or basketballs for PE class, and in exchange they have easy access to the children’s attention and hunger. The truth of the matter is schools don’t have money. Like everyone else, they have been in a down point in their financial needs, and fast food chains jump in to save the day (Spurlock 174). What’s left in the cafeteria is a USDA designed program. The official ‘Food Pyramid’ has been a collaboration of the dairy, poultry, pork, sugar and other lobbyists and commissions. Making sure that even though we should limit things like sweets, they get a good portion of the pyramid just like everyone else with the deep pockets (Spurlock 178). Now it’s time to dial back even more, to the focus of this argument; the nutrition of slaves.

In the narrative, Douglass dwells in the idea of becoming a free man for quite some time. Earlier he overhears one of his former masters, Mr. Auld, speak to his wife about which conduct to treat the slaves with:

If you give a nigger an inch, he will take an ell. A nigger should know nothing but to obey his master- to do as he is told to do. Learning would spoil the best nigger in the world (Douglass 78; ch. 6).

That’s the trick, isn’t it? If they don’t know better, there is no risk to the powers that be. This can be applied to the children in the school systems as well. With nutritional health classes, students learn how to eat better, and have a better chance of doing so. Just a little nudge in the right direction helps them to make better choices. If you take some of the soda out of the vending machines, and put in water and 100% fruit juice, the students will gradually choose the latter (Spurlock 265).

The point is this; children have little information about the good options out there, just like slaves and freedom. Douglass mentions how he will turn things for the better once he’s a free man, and his own keeper (Douglass 121; ch. 10) The same applies to school kids, once they are adults and free to make all their own choices, there’s a much better chance they will make good ones. We just need to educate them while they are in school, so when they graduate it’s not a hard transition into a steady lifestyle of diet and exercise.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Eisler, Peter, Blake Morrison, and Anthony DeBarros. Fast-food standards for meat tops those for school lunches . USA Today, 9 Dec. 2009. Web. 20 Apr. 2010. .

Ragalie, Jean. "Position Statement: Dairy Foods and School Nutrition Standards." Dairy Council of Arizona, Apr. 2007. Web. 20 Apr. 2010. .

Douglass, Frederick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave. New York: Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 1982. 33-151. Print.

Spurlock, Morgan. Don't Eat This Book: Fast Food and the Supersizing of America. New York: Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2005. 1-268. Print.

"Season 1: Episode 5." Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. ABC, 16 Apr. 2010. Television.

Jalonik, Mary C. "Report says school food making kids unfit to serve ." Google News. The Associated Press, 20 Apr. 2010. Web. 20 Apr. 2010. .

Title 47: Weights and Measures, Chapter 4, Section 2. The State of Rhode Island General Assembly, 2009. Web. 20 Apr. 2010. .

"American Heart Association. Heart Disease and Stroke Statistics – 2010 Update." American Heart Association, 2010. Web. 27 Apr. 2010. .

Covey, Herbert C., and Dwight Eisnach. What the Slaves Ate: Recollections of African American Foods and Foodways from the Slave N. N.p.: Greenwood, 2009. Google Books. Web. 27 Apr. 2010. .

"Calories in Cornmeal, Whole-grain, Yellow." calorie count. N.p., 2010. Web. 27 Apr. 2010. .

Bromfield, Dr. Richard. "Is Ritalin Overprescribed? Yes." FamilyEducation. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 Apr. 2010. .

"Student Health and Academic Achievement." HealthyYouth. CDC, 2010. Web. 28 Apr. 2010. .

Madeline & a Saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 01:17:00 +0000

Saturday morning I had the pleasure of working with another new model, Madeline Adee.
It's a great feeling when I am their first photographer they've worked with.
The sun was out, the sky was nice and cloudy.. another great photo day. We shot just north of campus around the park blocks and a little at Washington Park. We've talked quite a bit about a future shoot with her boyfriend, and I'm excited for another go. I do need more couples pics, and I'm glad to help out.

I'm crossing my fingers for better weather because I just wanna do a photo shoot everyday!

Molly R

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 23:54:00 +0000

I've been checking the weather vigorously all week, and the weekend was supposed to be nice and cloudy, but surprise! Here comes the rain.
All the same, we found some covered spots and shot there.
The shoot went pretty quick, and am fairly satisfied with the results despite the obstacles

Back into it!

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 06:50:00 +0000

I am happy to say that I'm doing portraits again, building my portfolio once more.
It's been quite awhile since I've done a shoot with models, June.. in fact.
Well.. Monday was the first nice day of what seems like many to come, and on short notice McKenzie and Kyla came through.
Me and Ms. Coffee went to Mt. Tabor Park in Northeast, and had a bit of variety in backgrounds and a whole bag of clothes to work with.
Kyla's shoot only lasted 30 minutes but we managed to get a few great pictures, I think.

I've been trying to set up a shoot with her for awhile, and Danielle Ferguson stepped up in a pinch.
Our goal was to get some fitness stuff, but the sun just glistened on her hair so well, I got more headshots than anything.

a week later.

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 06:17:00 +0000

Oh, the excitement of college.
Well while it's still fresh, my roommate just showed up for an hour and we talked about a lot of things. About Google's presence in China, what to call a wrinkle or a fold in clothes, very interesting PE games in China, How the US has 300+ million in population but China has 1.3+ billion... compared to Gladstone's seemingly at best 13k to Portland's staggering 557k.. even Oregon City, our 'across-the-river' neighbor had 30k+. I was told how he's building a robot with a 19 year old girl to put into traffic cones so workers don't have to lift them..
all sorts of stuff.

The fun part was this;
Having not seen him since at least Monday, I still didn't know what was going on.
A few times in the week, as well as this afternoon.. there has been a lot of 'thud's and pounding and beating going on in the room next door as well as above me and in the hall.
Wednesday night, I wanted to wake up early to get some reading done for Physics, and went to bed shortly after Bowling class at around 8pm. Lots of bass-heavy sounds and giggling later.. it was after 11 and it sounded like someone knocked on my door. Being as how I was under the influence of Tylenol PM and wanted to sleep, I didn't answer. Then a few seconds later, I could hear keys being put into the keyhole, yet they didn't open the door. Then they tried to cram whatever they had under there door in the gap above the floor, making some scraping sounds. I assumed it was a pamphlet, flyer or something of that nature. Then they giggled and went into the elevator. I had gotten up to use the bathroom about 5am and since the coast was clear now, I opened the door since I found nothing on the floor, especially nothing paper. To my surprise there was a set of keys on the floor right in front of where the door frame is. Since it had a flash drive, other keys and attachments, it wasn't just any keys, they had to belong to someone. With no note I didn't have much to go on. I emailed the RA today since they had been there over a day, and was hoping someone would claim them. As me and Jessica were waiting for the bus I got a call from my roommate, who I somehow missed 2 other calls from, and he was wondering when I'd be home. I said we were heading out but I'd be back later.. since I had no leads I asked him about the keys, and he said those were his. When we returned with dinner the keys were gone and the window was open, something he normally does (it can get warm in our dorm). He eventually showed up after Jess left and I asked him about it, and apparently he had lost his keys in the library and was contacting half the campus staff to try to get them back. How it found it's way to my door at 11 without any info to us and all.. is a mystery.

Oh, and the best part is I found out that while he's gone, the time that he's not in classes (only has 9 credits) he is on the 5th floor, in a single studio, 1 above us, and sleeps on his friend's floor. It's like a 24/7 slumber party where his friend cooks, and they play Wii and Warcraft 3 with 2 other guys. All this time I thought it was some house that he was living at. So who knows.. maybe I'll see more of my roommate.

As for myself, I have slowly been meeting people in my classes. Danae, Scott and Jesse in my PE class, making friends in Bowling, and hopefully now have a reliable transportation/relateable friend named Michael in my Theatre class.. oh and consistency with Physics classmates but I'm at a loss for names.

Besides such, me and Misty have still spent considerable amount of time together, even though it's a pain to go to and from her new place. I kept telling her it's like the movie "Across the Universe" because she lives in a house with like I think 5 others and they are all independent or artistic in their own way.. they just need to break out into song and then I can say "I told you so!". Also, Jessica has met with me twice for dinner now, bless her heart, and we're slowing catching up from once being housing friends in Spring. We love the new rec center, but would appreciate if it'd be open past 9pm on Friday nights.. so I could watch Dollhouse on the treadmill.. haha.

Well I'm on Season 3 of "Veronica Mars" and have about 16 1/2 episodes until I'm done with the series. I've seen maybe 3-4 a day since I moved. Kristen Bell is officially my new favorite blonde actress (sorry Dunst..). Anyways so going to watch another episode or two and then it's sleepy time.. though this is running late. Got to wake up early because my Aunt is going to visit and hand off my mail, and got some homework to do and then it's sleep again, at least trying to because I work at midnight late Saturday/early Sunday doing my first shift at the new store.. stocking.. not checking! So TTFN, good night.

2010: A Rough Start

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 03:15:00 +0000

I am finding myself running out of energy for things.
I've been waiting for school to start and been very excited to get back into things.

Part of my excitement of coming back downtown and going back to school is to be a part of things and be close to my friends, and granted.. ditch the drama that's come with some experiences on the other side of the river. Irony however is big piece to the puzzle that is me, and nothing is more ironic than me moving close to friends and friends moving away.

Misty almost overnight moved into North Portland the same time I moved into the dorms. I wasn't happy with it, but perservered, however now it's sinking in how very inconvenient it is to get there. Tri-Met isn't as reliable as I'd like and buses at night are sketchy. Not only is there more creeps out (on the east side, not downtown), but if you miss a bus it can be over an hour until the next one shows, and most the time you can't escape taking at least two different buses to get where you're going, unless you want to walk a few miles.

I've also learned that Kelly is going to Southeast Portland for cheaper rent and closer proximity to PCC Sylvania. Add in the fact that Brian is working a lot and going to attend school.. and already moved to Corvallis.. and the friends that I've tried to keep in touch with suddenly space out on text messages and missed calls.. I feel left out. I've burnt a lot of my bridges and despite my stress am trying to be more positive and watch what I say, but this week has just been overload it seems, I've caught myself raising my voice and I don't like it.

My roommate had gone missing, and he came back a couple days later, and while trying to pick up on what he's telling me I've learned he's been invited by his friend to live with him, who he says is a good cook. He's taken his bed sheets but left just about everything else.. for now. He hasn't been here for more than 5 or so minutes a day, and while I thought it'd be a good thing not having the stress of a roommate, it's more stressful to have them missing.

I feel like I have to watch what I do, where I put things away and what I can move around, with no one to consult or negotiate with. I never know when he's going to show up, and I've had a lot of questions about student life that he could help with. I see all the names posted on the doors and everyone's got a friend in the building or outside, and it just reminds me of how lonely I feel. I was hoping being in student housing would open up social opportunities, I could have easily gotten an apartment or at least a single studio dorm, but I wanted to be around people, yet.. irony sets in again and it seems the opposite.

I've had my first boot camp class, still sore from wednesday afternoon.. but I want to keep it going. Laundry has been an issue, had to wait til payday and now I misscalculated and have a hamper full of washed-but-not-dried clothes. Tomorrow I'm going to make up for it and goto the Rec center, because as hardcore as my PE class is, it's only 2hrs of workout a week, give or take. I've been trying to eat better but it's hard being depressed. Once I found out I couldn't do my laundry because.. well long story short the machines work off of cards, and machines to put $ onto cards are missing or closed.. I had a few bucks so I got a cheeseburger at McDonald's and a frappucino at Starbucks. I didn't even like them, they don't give me that excitement anymore.

I cooked some green beans, tofu and mushrooms today and thought it was great. A little soy sauce goes a long way. I really want to get into shape. I'm tired of being like this and I know my mental state will get better with my physical being, but I'm impatient. I haven't even had motivation to text people because 90% of the time they don't get replyed to and it's so impersonal. But in my poor mood I'm in no position to talk on the phone. Catch 22.

So for now, I'm just going to keep milling away at my laptop. Watching old shows and praying for that next MySpace or Facebook comment to satisfy me for a minute. I haven't done a photoshoot since June, and have had my own camera since October. With the rain everyone is scared to shoot, and getting people willing to shoot has been hard enough, then they abruptly become unavailable or don't respond.. much like my phone history. This time last year I was busting out photo shoots like no other. I was the only one with the will to make use of AI's studio and rentals, doing shoots at least three times a week. Now you'd never know I even know how to use a camera. As for PSU, I've got bowling on Wednesdays and theatre (plays) on Thursdays, so at least I'll be entertained twice a week. All I can do now is clean up around the dorm and get some fresh air when I can.

Things will turn around, I'm not worried about that. I'm confident in change for the better, but like I said, I'm impatient. You heard it here first... I want to be under 200 lbs and healthier in May. 5 months, 60 lbs.. more or less. It will happen. At this point however, I just need to grit my teeth, take some aspirin and cross my fingers.

Ending 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Ryan Gilbert Arnold) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:29:00 +0000

I've been doing a lot these last weeks.
Christmas kept me busy, but not nearly as much as going to Portland State University.
This year my parent's dogs 'Jack' and 'Rosie' had about 5 puppies in early November.
Two of them ended up at my Aunt's house, and one found it's way to my bff, Misty.
She decided to name him Quimby.
Me and Misty have hung out a lot the past week or two, and for awhile her friend Shawn was in town, taking the Greyhound from California.
We saw a lot of movies and ate a lot of food, I spent a lot of time with Kelly too when I could.
There was a lot of adventures that I can't remember enough to describe, and if I did I would have another novel size post in one entry.

Recently, I moved into Epler Hall dorms downtown, around 12th and SW Montgomery, on Saturday the 2nd. I noticed someone brought to attention that it was 01/02/2010 or 01022010
Definitely a set up for epicness if I ever saw one. Anyways, the room is on the 4th floor and it's a double occupied studio apartment. I have a roommate, Ding. He's from China and provides a good cultural addition to my new whole college experience.

I had my first 2 classes today, I tried to make my schedule and courseload more practical this time around, and I have 2 PE classes Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:30am-2:30, with 2 Physics classes Tuesdays and Thursdays from Noon-4pm, as well as a Theatre Appreciation class Thursday nights at 6. Five total classes, but 12 credits. I am so far satisfied with it but due to paperwork hold ups I didn't have many options. For instance Katie has a Bowling class Wednesday night and that sounds like a great time, but they are full. I'm trying to get into the Advanced class, we'll see how things end up.

In the meanwhile, I have been enjoying walks downtown whenever I want, or don't want. It's hard on the legs right now but otherwise it's rather refreshing. Lots of lights and sights. When Kelly and I were on our way back from the Shanghai tunnel pub, we ran into this 24/7 Art piece. It was just sticking out of the wall on Couch st. around oh 4th or so. It's really something. I might bring Laura and her friends there Friday when we do our photo shoot (first of the year! excited!).

Well for now all my profiles say I still goto PCC and so on, so I need to update those. Oh and just when you think you've got enough groceries your PE teacher says you need 30 grams of protein in you before you show up for class. Tofu to the rescue.

Being on my own and in the midst of downtown, I'm sure I'll post more often than twice a month.
For now, I say goodbye.