I’ve been without work for nine months. I have two housemates (no empty rooms). I have a fourteen year old dog of my own (we all know and love Hunny) and I am working on getting my own health back on track, dealing with this anxiety crap.

The first thing I usually think when I see a stray dog is, “I hope someone takes care of that dog because I can’t afford to.”

Well, earlier today my housemate called because on his way to work he passed a Chihuahua that he thought looked to have been set on fire. I ran outside with a towel and this precious sickly little girl was standing lost and alone on my street. She came right to me and curled up in the towel.
So trusting.
So sweet.
So gentle.
So little.
So dehydrated.
So malnourished.
So sick.
So heartbreaking.

I fell in love.
It was immediate.
No turning back.

Instantly I was thinking of all the things I could sell to take care of this angel as I drove off to my vet - the BEST vet in the world, CENTINELA ANIMAL HOSPITAL. They all fell in love and said she has the worst case of mange they’ve *ever* seen. And believe me, they’ve seen it all.

The vet explained the regime necessary to nurse this baby back to health. At least six months of daily treatment. Some of it, three times a day. The cost of the office visit was waived because she’s a rescue but everything else was going to add up to … well to more than I could imagine.

Then came a miracle.

One of the women - a Goddess - who works there held this precious pup in her arms and started crying. She said, “I’ll do it. I’ll take her in.” She couldn’t walk away from her and took on the great responsibility of committing to administering the daily treatment, to nurse Hope back to health.

She is the one who named her. As I was signing the dog over to the vet’s office, I needed a name for the paperwork. Just then the woman said, “This little one needs a lot of hope.”

With that, Hope was named.

We have no idea how well she will respond to treatment. She’s only about a year old and has been sick for a very long time. But the experience changed my life forever. And it didn’t cost me a dime to save her life today and give her new Hope.

More later. For now, have fun!

2-Minute Music Mix

From HeartBreak To HeartWake

I can’t explain it. There’s a newness that inspires me. So many new people to experience and so many old (but young!) friends to catch up with.

I’ve been so reclusive (as I mentioned previously) that I had forgotten how wonderful it feels to connect with people. I’ve been waiting for something - a shoe to drop, an inheritance, a miracle, something - and I needed that time to collapse, rest and rebuild. It’s happening. I feel it.  Anything goes as of this moment.

The one thing I really want to happen, and have been wanting for six months, is going at a turtle’s pace. But, among many other things, I’m learning patience. God help me. It sucks ass but I’m learning it.

I’m also re-entering the world of (gulp) acting. God help me there too. In this saturated market, I must be a fool to attempt something so crazy but I have to. It’s what I studied. It’s what I love. It’s a buried goal that I have to give another try.

I’m learning that when I do something really well that starts to get recognition (positive feedback) and begin to see signs of success, I sabotage the entire venture. Acting. Music. My dog walking business. Relationships. Jobs.  Name it. I am a great project starter but I need someone to either take over or shove me to that next level in order to know success.

I moved to LA in 1992. Three weeks later I had a regular weekend acting gig and I was on TV.  All with no headshot or resume. My friends thought I’d be the one out of all of us to get over that threshold they’d all been working on for years before I even arrived. And what did I do instead? Stopped all acting so I could take a full time job.  Instead of waitressing or dog walking or cleaning houses.  I did what I was raised to do - sit in an office.

After many temporary office jobs, I started writing my own music and performing in small bars and coffee houses.  I was taking off. People wanted pieces of me from all over the place. I didn’t know what to do with any of the attention.  I was asked to sing the National Anthem at the Hollywood Bowl for some event. I turned it down to play with friends.  From there I just kept turning things down and wondering why my music wasn’t getting anywhere.

So I’m back.  I recorded a full length album last year. I am submitting myself for acting roles.  I’m creating sketches for videos and playing a bit of music. And of course, I’m still writing from the heart.  How could I forget how good being creative makes me feel?

I guess I had to die to be reborn again and again and again.

This video was inspired by seeing thousands of hateful comments on one 12-year-old boy’s videos. It’s disgusting. An entire community dedicated to hate.

As usual, you can watch the video right here or, if you’re reading the RSS of this post, click the link to watch directly on YouTube. Don’t forget to leave a comment. xo

For Those Who Love To Hate

I’ve uploaded proofs of photos that I would like to use as headshots when I submit myself to agents and casting directors. Right now I have less-than-adequate photos and as expected, they’re not getting me anywhere.  I can’t afford a professional photographer so I spent the afternoon in various lighting angles trying to get a better-than-adequate photo.

I’ll keep trying but this is day one and I want to get started.

I realize some are over-exposed and too bright. These are proofs. I haven’t done any editing on any of them. Just resized for uploading to the web. I will do a few touch-ups and change the exposure and all that but I wanted to get your opinion before I take it any further and invest too much time in the editing bay. (because that is something I can do, easily)

Things to keep in mind.  Do the photos accurately reflect how I look? Do they give a sense of my personality?  Are my eyes telling the truth? Do I look natural or forced into a pose?

Be honest. This is my resume. It’s the first thing potential agents, managers and casting directors will see. First impressions are everything in this industry. I need to be called for who I am (or who I can portray) and they need to recognize me as I walk through the door.

But I need to get called to the door in the first place so…that’s why we’re here.

Here’s the link to the photos. Let me know your thoughts by leaving comments here, on the photos or send me a private message or email.

Thanks so much! xo

I don’t know who I’m speaking to. I don’t actually have a doctor. But I am getting my body chemistry in balance. I don’t care what it takes. It has to happen.

How do people go through life without a care in the world?  Okay I’m asking for the extreme opposite. Let’s be more realistic. How about asking for my reactions and emotions to match the situation and information? Seriously, is that too much to ask?

Maybe I need to be taking testosterone. Guys seem to have their emotions in check. Actually many of you guys seem to have your emotions in a steel crate. Lucky bastards. Again with the extreme opposite.

That’s me - all or nothing. It’s either black or white. It takes me a while to remember there’s a lotta gray in between.

I know that if I feel good and comfortable that I could possibly slip into complacency and boredom. So there must be a place in me that is attached to the heightened emotions that give me something to focus on, something to create with. I mean come on, how many Trish Monaco love songs have we heard?  Put your calculators away, it isn’t difficult to count to zero!  But how many heartfilled, gut-wrenching life stories have we heard in my songs?  Now we’re talking.

I’m kinda over that too. I’m ready to write a love song (blech) or a happy song (eww)  hahaha…I can’t even write it with a straight face. I’m up against my own worst enemy.  That’d be me folks, if it wasn’t obvious.

Seriously though, how can I balance my emotions and still be actively, productively creative?  When I feel good, I don’t care to create. I just wanna watch the waves or smell the roses.

That’s it. Time for action.

I officially challenge myself to write a high-on-life kinda song this week. I mean it. I never force myself to write a song. Songs usually just come to me and I’m good to go. So this is a huge challenge. I have to do it.

Oh God, I’m sleep deprived. Am I gonna regret this after I get some rest? We’ll see.

Well I finally recorded the second video of the series today. I’m not sure what took me so long. I did it spur-of-the-moment in one take. Go figure.  I screw up lyrics and everything, but you probably won’t even notice. But if you do, feel free to point it out.

So for those who’ve been patiently waiting, here is the video. Watch it here on Peaces, or click the link if you’re reading the rss feed.

 Trish Monaco - Live from the LivingroomTwo - LATELY (original)

link to video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nekd69EZrw

What’s been happening? Um…

I did some overnight pet sitting for a very sick dog last week. That kept me up practically around the clock. He’s lovely and beautiful and just having a very difficult time post-op and neurologically. I didn’t realize how sick he was till I got there. Broke my heart.

While up all hours of the day and night, I was channel flipping and saw something I thought would be interesting.  But after watching a segment it became clear that the show was not what was listed on the guide, and I somehow got hooked on The Real World, Brooklyn.

“Hey wanna watch reality teenage angst and drama?”

“No thanks, I’m forty.”

Yeah well, did you know MTV has all the episodes online?  I’ve only watched two episodes but dammit why do I get involved? I’ve never (never!) seen an episode of this ridiculous show that I now love. Grrrrr.

It’s been ten months since my last hair cut. I know right?!  I haven’t been able to afford a trim so I had decided to let my hair do whatever the hell it wants to do. Well, I’m over it! I’m constantly ripping dreadlocks apart and pulling hair out. It’s a good thing I don’t normally brush it because I can’t get a comb through it even if I try. It’s breaking and dry and damaged to death. If I don’t get a cut soon, I’ll be bald.

So I searched the internet for local hair stylists and read online reviews.  I have an appointment with the owner of a Culver City salon Friday night. I was assured he would know how to handle my situation. I wanted to go to the woman who did my last cut in Santa Monica but ouch on the price! This new one charges less than half and it’s closer to home.  Fingers crossed.

After that I hope to get a full body grooming. Brows, legs and bikini waxing.  That always makes me feel so good. (I mean, after the initial ripping pain and burning sensation.) Yeah, this outta be fun.

That’s it for me, you know, for now. What’s up with you guys?