PearlsGirl

Not So Simple Moment

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Mon, 13 Apr 2020 14:20:00 +0000

This season of Lent, our church provided us with a small printed version of The Magnificat Lenten Companion. I challenged myself to read this daily and reflect on the passages and to read the suggested reflections from the Bible daily. I will say, most Lents of past, I would start out with really good intentions, but eventually other things in life would get in the way, and it would seem that I would put it down and possibly pick it up sparingly or maybe not at all. This Lent was different ... it was really different. I believe myself, and others, will always remember this as the Lent of the pandemic. Coronavirus of 2020.

With this pandemic comes isolation and closure of most things we find normal in our lives. It has given all of us a chance to quiet ourselves, to reflect, and to see things in a most different manner. While this has been maddening in some ways, it has been refreshing in many other ways.

I want to share the last paragraph of the Magnificat Lenten Companion. It truly was the very last part of the very last reflection, written by Father Gregory Pine. It reads:

“In His resurrection, Christ shows that He has left no stone unturned — no ruin unredeemed. He has suffered all loss for love of us. Though we have strayed, He has anguished in search for us. For He loves our destiny even more than we do, and He has gone before us to seek it out. So, while our search for Him continues, we rest assured that He has found us.”

So many people speak of their “aha” moment. That moment during prayer, reflection, daily life, traumatic experience when they have had that moment of intense connection with God, the Holy Spirit, a deep moment of connection. I have often been asked to describe my “aha” moment. I struggle mightily with this, as I honestly can’t recall a “aha” moment ... at least a moment that I would truly say was “aha”!!!

I found myself during this Lenten season, while I was doing my reflections, readings, and prayer daily, trying to feel that special moment. I admit readily that I don’t pray well. I probably do best reading scripture, spiritual books, brief reflections. I have always been envious of folks that say they can meditate, quiet themselves, and fill their rooms with prayer and solitude. I’ve tried. When I do this, I usually find my mind wandering to current events, news of the day. I’ve told myself not to despair, that even in my wandering reflection, God is speaking to me, but I find it very hard to believe that he is talking to me about Grey’s Anatomy or the last TV show I just watched. So, I’ve tried. I’ve had to abandon that approach. At least for now.

This Lent I did read, I read a lot. I watched the videos from Best Lent Ever by Matthew Kelly, and I journaled every day on their messages. Every day it seemed that these passages and reflections were specifically written for me and for all of us during this isolation of the pandemic. While I knew that these were recorded and written long before the pandemic even came into our lives, they reflected these times. Then the realization came to me, that God’s words apply to any and every moment in our lives. We can listen and read His words daily, and they will apply to every facet of our lives. Wow! How comforting is that to me now. I know I can pick up the Bible, a spiritual publication, or recite a specific prayer, and it will indeed speak to the very moment in my life.

While I prayed every day, I know I also prayed about the “aha” moment. What was it, when did it come, how could I have missed it?

Due to the isolation requirements, all of our liturgies during Lent and Holy Week were either via TV or life streamed on the internet. Thanks be to God for that luxury. I watched all of them, prayed alone in my living room, in pajamas most of the time. Good Friday service has always been one of my favorite to attend and participate in the service. I am in our choir at church, and this is the service when our particular choir provides the music. It is the most beautiful music we do all year. I admit it was really tough, really tough to watch this service in solitude this year. I retired to bed with a heavy heart, both for the current situation of our pandemic, and also for the sacred time of Good Friday.

I found myself awakened at 6:00 a.m. on Holy Saturday morning. Abruptly awakened as if an alarm had gone off, or someone had called my name to awaken me. Though I tried, sleep alluded me, and I finally got up, even while it was still dark outside. I heard the birds singing brightly and loudly outside, so I ventured on to my balcony. I sat in the darkness of the early morning and decided I would watch the sunrise. While I listened to the birds sing, the wind chimes make their music, and the soft purring of the wind, I found myself praying, but prayers of confusion. Prayers for the confusion of the redemption given to us by our Christ. Again I pondered that “aha” moment. I awaited the sunrise with confusion. I know of the redemption and the resurrection, but why am I so confused? I awaited the sunrise with prayers from my soul of confusion.

Easter Sunday, though spent in pandemic isolation, I celebrated. I celebrated with a Zoom meeting online with my family. It was good to see their faces and hear their voices even when hugs and kisses were not allowed. I hope we never forget our much we have missed hugs! Still we celebrated. He is risen!!!

So now I find myself on Monday, the Monday after Easter. There is one more reflection by Matthew Kelly challenging us to look at this past Lent and what we did correctly to prepare for Easter and what we could have done better. Again he mentions the “aha” moment. I actually write in my journal that I’m not sure I have had an “aha” moment, and if I did I missed it. How could I have missed my “aha” moment. Who does that?

I pick up my Magnificant Lenten Companion, and I realize in my celebrating of Easter yesterday, that I didn’t realize that there was an entry in the publication even on Easter Sunday. I had thought it ended and was completed at the completion of Lent. So this morning I read yesterday’s reflection.

I quietly cried in my solitude and isolation this morning. There it was right in front of me. My “aha” moment. Through all my efforts at prayer, all my efforts at seeing a bright glow, described by so many others, all my attempts at meditation, all my journaling, and most importantly my sitting alone on a balcony at 6:00 a.m. on Holy Saturday, awaiting the sunrise, awaiting the sunrise in confusion ... here is my “aha” moment. He loves my destiny even more than I do, and He has gone before me to seek it out. So, while my search for Him continues, I can be assured that He has already found me. He has already found me. Aha !!!!!!!!!!!

I Await the Sunrise

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Sat, 11 Apr 2020 12:17:00 +0000

The day after this other

this Holy Saturday

confusion of what

happened yesterday

did I yet know of this resurrection

did I understand the resurrection

Awakened in the dark of the morning

birds singing, their words unclear

awaiting the dawn of the morning

of this day, of this life

I await the sunrise in

prayerful confusion

The songful prayers of

nature, of the awaiting

of the new beginning

Life renewed, made fresh

cleansed by holy blood

of darkness made light

A heart made tender

but of quiet confusion

To move forward, ever

forward into an unknown,

an unknown of hope

I await the sunrise in

prayerful confusion

The gradual and slow show of

hues of light, creeping into

the darkness into full light

Was this similar to my baptism,

my baptism into light, my

journey

I await the sunrise in

prayerful confusion

This dawning, this dawning

of renewed hope, confused

hope, of this redemption

I sit and await the sunrise

I sit and await the sunrise while

nature’s music fills my soul

I sit and I await the sunrise

in prayerful confusion, but

assuredly knowing it will come

It will come even in my

confusion

I sit and await the sunrise

with prayer in my soul

What Are You Going To Do?

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Wed, 30 Jan 2019 14:53:00 +0000

At the young age of 15, I started my first job. First job meaning it was not babysitting, but a “real” job that required taxes, work schedule, and “real” paycheck at end of pay period. Now at age of almost 66, I embark on my new life of REWIREMENT! You’ll note that I did not call this RETIRING! I refuse ... as I have no intention of retiring from anything. Definition of “retire” by Merriam .. 1.) To withdraw from action or danger; retreat. 2) to withdraw especially for privacy retired to her room.

Oh Heck No!!!!!!!

Definition of “rewire” by Merriam: 1) to provide or connect something with wire again. Well there you go, I am rewiring myself. The wire that concentrated on responsibilities of career and work days, months, years is now being replaced by the wire that will concentrate on so many different things and opportunities.

Recently at a team meeting at work, we were asked to share our “word” for 2019. I was so proud to hear my teammates all relate to a word that focused on the big picture in life and not just a work related goal. As I thought about my word, I had a great deal of difficulty choosing the right sentiment. I kept hearing service, action, assistance, sharing, loving in my thoughts. I kept trying to see which one spoke to me the loudest. I knew my focus would be different when the responsibilities of work went away at the end of January. As I discerned, I finally realized that all of these words directly related to my Baptism. That’s right, my Baptism! So my word for 2019 is Baptism. What I want to do is live my Baptism more fully.

I announced my intention of leaving work at the beginning of 2018. Over the course of the year, if I heard the question, “what are you going to do” once, I had to have heard it a 1000 times. My first several responses were to try to name the litany of opportunities I hoped to embrace. I finally tired of that, and merely would just answer “whatever I want to do.” It dawned on me, while receiving these questions, along with the implication of how much I had thrown myself into my career, that folks actually had almost defined me by my work. By seeing me in action in that capacity, they felt that I would be bored when I stepped away. More than one person has said, “that will last about 2 months, and then you’ll need to find a part tine job.” It concerns me to be defined in such a manner. Really? Is that what folks really see?

I’ve done a lot of soul searching in 2018. I won’t begin to say that this new journey has been worry free, anxiety free, and questioning to me in many, many ways. But I kept coming back to my word ... BAPTISM! My father would always give me tips on how to look and think about worries. I am a natural worrier, and often if I don’t have something to worry about, I’ll create something. He used to tell me to name two things that could happen with my worry, and when I did so, he would simply say, “that doesn’t sound like the end of the world to me.” So here are my two thoughts about leaving work:

1. I feel great! I am still very, very good at what I do. I still problem solve with the best. I still mentor my team quite effectively. I love my job. I have the energy to keep working right along, and I guess I can do that until I get sick or die. Or when I hear, “there sits Sharon, she’ll be here until the last dog dies!”

Or ....

2. I feel great! I can step away when my team is strong. I can leave them in the hands of a young, fresh mind with great knowledge. I can leave and give someone that is 30 years my junior an opportunity to step into an amazing position, with an amazing team, an amazing team of coparts, and an amazing director. Then I can take my heathy, vital, full of energy body and move on to exciting new adventures and embrace so many opportunities that I would not be able to do, if I kept working.

Guess what? I choose #2!!!!!!! I’m now going to live my new definition!!

Deuteronomy 15:11. For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, “you shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’

Proverbs 3:27. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

My energies will be focused on serving. I have been blessed my entire life, while others have had such struggles that most of us cannot even comprehend. In my own small way, I want to make a difference. I am blessed to belong to a church community that serves over 1000 lunch guests weekly with hot meals they would not otherwise receive. I’ll be participating in this venture. I also will be working with Habitat for Humanity. Habitat’s Mission. Putting God’s love into action by bringing people together to build homes, communities, and hope through affordable housing solutions.

I also want to embrace new lands, new people, new customs through travel. Scriptures for traveling, “ You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.” Deuteronomy 28:6 My motto for travel are the THREE L’s ... Learn, Laugh, Love. First we “learn” from new ventures, new lands, new people, then we “laugh” with each other with our customs, our accents, the way we look, then we “love” when we embrace our diversity. I’ve always found that in the end, we are all truly one people!

So for those of you who wonder “what will you do” ... worry not! I promise you I am not retiring but rather rewiring! But if you want to, go ahead and underestimate me, that will be fun!

I am embracing my new journey. I know that I will have self doubt, scared moments along the way, but I’m all in ... I’m 100% all in!

Proverbs 16:9. The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Don't Get Frustrated ... Get Energized!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 18:26:00 +0000

I write this blog post for my dear comrades on our health journey. You know who you are. If this touches others, then that is just awesome.

Most of us have been on our healthy journey for anywhere between one to four plus years. During this time frame, I think it is safe to say, that all of us have come a long way, baby!!!!!!! We have endured several months of a Phase 1 type program, with very stringent guidelines, without many optional choices coming into play. Then as we progressed, we moved into a Phase 2 type program, which allowed for a slow transition “back into the real world.” I think it is safe to say that most of us made this transition extremely slowly, not only out of trying to see what our bodies would do, and how they would react to the institution of certain foods back into our systems, but probably the strongest reason … FEAR!!!

Yes, I said it … FEAR!!!! We were afraid of the scale, afraid of certain food groups, afraid we would lapse back into very bad habits, and yes, just afraid of going back into the abyss. I think it is also safe to say that we all reacted to and responded to this fear in many different ways. I am sure among these responses were: 1) putting food into our diet … then taking it back out. 2) Because of what the scale may have done in number (1), we then reverted completely back to Phase 1. 3) Then when the scale was friendly again, we repeated number (1). Then probably repeated number (2). And on, and on, and on.

Then we became a bit more secure in our new lifestyle and noticed that after we let our bodies respond to new additions back into our diet, we did slowly slip into a Phase 2 cycle where we had somewhat of a balance of lean proteins, veggies and fruits, our protein shakes, and maybe, just maybe a whole grain. Some of us may have not done whole grains and may actually not be doing them to this day. But, Phase 2 became more comfortable and not quite so scary.

During all the time of Phase 1 and Phase 2, we were also becoming more and more active in the gym, working with our trainer, or participating in outside activities that promoted a healthy exercise regime. We may have found that we increased our exercise levels, but really did not tweak our Phase 2 diet intake or get a healthy balance to our nutrition/exercise level. NOTE TO SELF!!!!!!

As the months and even years progressed, we may have found that as we progressed, we blinked an eye, and found that we were really truly living in the “real world.” What a liberating feeling to know that we have made a lifestyle change and not a “diet” change, and we have found that we can actually go day to day, eat healthily, and maintain our weight range nicely.

The downfall to this new “freedom” comes the threat of becoming a bit too comfortable and slowly but surely letting trigger foods back into our lives. Trigger foods by themselves are not the culprit, but they can be a red flag if they lead to a more sustained unhealthy lifestyle and take us out of our game.

I have heard so many of my comrades on this journey state how frustrated they have become, as everything tends to be getting harder. You would think that as time passed, things would get easier, but this is certainly not the case. Understood! Completely understood!

It seems that our willpower was stronger when we still had weight to lose, or initially on the journey, or progressing into Phase 2. Now here we are anywhere from one to 4 years later, and where is our willpower?

I remember our health educator saying you CAN NOT rely on willpower. Boy, do I now know that to be words of truth. Willpower will help sometimes, possibly even most times, but certainly not EVERY time. I am a firm believer of what ends up working long term is the comfort learned from experiencing over and over and over and over, and did I say over again, and again, and again the trials and tribulations of what our bodies do and how they perform. Not until we learn and allow ourselves to become comfortable with the scale fluctuations, the cravings, and the best ways to live in the real world will we ever function frustration free. Life is not a utopia, and frustration will never be completely gone, but I firmly believe it is possible for it only to exist at maybe 5% or less in our lives. But this does not come easy, it is not without fight, and I know I am not there completely yet, even after 4+ years!

I have decided to try to put some forms of action together to help us through these frustrating times. They are certainly not cure-all’s, but maybe, just maybe they will make things a bit easier. If these do not work, then we will try others. My motto for these are going to be DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!!

Weekends (or whatever your most difficult time is) – our support group recently spoke about weekends. Our group exercises strenuously with our trainer throughout the week. We are so vulnerable on the weekend for so many different reasons 1) our bodies are tired and recuperating from the workouts, 2) we are hungrier because our bodies are in recovery mode, 3) our social lives are so different on the weekend, 4) what works for us during the week, doesn’t necessarily work for us on weekends due to number (1), number (2), and number (3) DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!

Hungrier? -- Come up with a new healthy recipe that is super delicious, something you may not have time to fix throughout the week, or you save for those “craving” weekends. Fix it and enjoy it!!! I recently added a pasta dish to my weekend menu that is both delicious and healthy, and it was so SATISFYING. DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!

Not Satisfied? – Plan your treat. If you like a specific dessert or appetizer, identify it, plan it in your food prep, and allow yourself to indulge. I would almost go out on the limb and say it is OK to do this on a weekend basis, a monthly basis, whatever is satisfying (JUST NOT DAILY). To allow yourself to never have your special treat, to me is a perfect GPS to disappointment and frustration. I love bread pudding. Derby Dinner Playhouse has delicious bread pudding. I have season tickets to Derby Dinner. If you look at my calendar right now, you will see Derby Dinner on my calendar for October 12, and right next to that entry is “bread pudding!” This keeps me sane. I don’t have bread pudding every day, every week, every month … but I do have it every time I go to Derby Dinner Playhouse, which is about every 8 to 10 weeks!!! DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!!!

Bored during down time and thinking about food? – redirect your thoughts. On the weekend, I have more downtime, and less exercise time, as I tend to use these days for my needed rest time from the gym. Thus, I get easily bored, and I find myself when I am resting, of course, thinking about food. When I stop and really tune into my feelings, I may not even be hungry, but rather bored, as I am just more idle. I have begun to get up off the couch, and clean a room in my house. Clean out a closet, a drawer. May not sound exciting, but I bet all of us love that feeling when our house is tidier, or our closet is cleaned out, to stand back and look at it, and enjoy the declutter. There is truth in decluttering your life as being beneficial. If you are not a cleaner, or your house is already clean (so not mine) then crochet, read, take the dog for a walk, write a letter to a friend you have not seen in a while, catch up with your DVR. Just occupy your mind, so you take the focus off food!!! DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!!!

Feel Alone? -- Sometimes we just feel we are on an island, and everyone else is normal, we are not, everyone else is skinny, we are not, everyone else can have what they want, and we cannot. Find your tribe!!!!!!! We are blessed to have such a wonderful support group. I thank God every day for each and every one of you. We are all just a text away from a cheery reply, an empathetic reply, words of encouragement, and suggestions for getting through a particular incidence. Use your tribe!!! DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!!!

We have done all this and we still failed? – First and foremost, let’s forgive ourselves. If we wouldn’t say it to someone else, let’s not say it to ourselves. We are warriors!!

I am a firm believer that God puts all of us exactly where we are supposed to be with exactly the right people. DON’T GET FRUSTRATED … GET ENERGIZED!!!

#65joyfully bold ... Bananas!!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 18:57:00 +0000

So my blog posts for the most part this year will be in reference to turning the magic age of 65!! I have dedicated this year to being 65 and joyfully bold. Thus the #65joyfullybold. I am not sure what all of that will mean or entail, but I guess we will see as the year progresses. I am hoping more funny stories than sad stories, but my intent is to capture them all in words, for no other reason but to commit them to my memory.

I am determined that this is going to be a “good” year for me. I can feel confident in saying that, because I am determined that I am going to MAKE it a good year for me. Anything can be happy or sad, but I believe how one perceives it, is what it turns into in reality.

I turned 65 on February 9. Each year I sign up for The Triple Crown of Road Races. Since I live in the Louisville, Kentucky area, this is the beginning of the season for Kentucky Derby. I am not a runner!!! I have never been a runner, and I am certainly not a runner at age 65. However, I am a walker. I walk, and I walk, and I walk, and I walk. For a little history, in April 2014 I joined a wellness program, and it was a life changing event for me. I lost 70 pounds and I have maintained that 70 pound weight loss (give or take a few pounds, depending on if the scale is being a brat or not!) for 4 years. As part of my wellness journey, I paired healthy eating with healthy lifestyle, including working with a personal trainer and exercise. I have learned to love it, and I mean LOVE it!!!! I do not have to make myself go to the gym. I have to make myself not go to the gym.

So, in keeping with each of the past 4 years, I signed up for the Triple Crown of Road Races again this year. First race was a 5K. It was held on March 10. The weather that day was very cold, but at least it was dry. We had had some sleet and rain in the previous days, so we did have black ice along the route. I finished that race in 56:41. A little behind my normal walking pace, but being cognizant of black ice, slowed me down a bit. The 10K race followed on March 24. It was a torrential downpour the entire time. Wind gusting, puddles, and continuous rain, and I do mean rain! Miserable. Finished that race in 1:47. Again not bad for the condition, and I was never so happy to see my car. The next race was April 7. The 10 miler!!! Just when you think it cannot get any worse, guess what? It did! Snowing, blowing, and freezing temperatures the entire 10 miles. The worst part is 3.5 miles of that particular course is in Iroquois Park, which is uphill. Uphill with blowing snow and blustery wind in our faces. When I reached the 5-mile marker toward the top of the park, my first thought was, “dear Lord, I don’t have 5 more miles left in me.” On I walked, maintaining my normal pace. I have learned to count in my head while I walk, so I know I am maintaining the pace that is healthy for me, depending on the distance. When we exited the park, the first mile marker I saw was the 7-mile marker. Again, I contemplated if I had three more miles left in me. I literally prayed, yes, I prayed. I asked for strength, I prayed that I could do it, and I told myself, “If you can walk 7 miles, you can walk 8. “ When I got to 8 miles, again I told myself, “If you can walk 8 miles, you can walk 9.” Fortunately, when I got to the 9-mile marker, I could hear the loud speaker at the finish line cheering folks on and saying, “You are almost here.” When I crossed the finish line, my purple fleece top was completely white and snow covered, and my hat had icicles handing off the brim. My first comment, truthfully, to myself (since my friends were a bit behind me) was, “I’m not doing the mini marathon (13.1 miles). I am done. I have no more miles left in me.” My time for that race was 2:58. Eleven minutes slower than last year, but considering the conditions, I will take it.

It is now two more weeks before the mini marathon, and guess what? I have changed my mind. Oh heck yes I am doing it! With the grace of God, I will do it, and I will finish it. If I can walk 10 miles, I can walk 13.1 miles. When I am done with that one, the series is over for this year, and I will take a rest.

I have already planned another adventure, in fact a trip out West to drive down Hwy 1 of the scenic Pacific Coast, is scheduled for May. And, I will have more stories to tell about that adventure.

Even though this series of races could have been a bad experience, and at the time, I definitely thought they were, I have made them good. I got a free banana after every race!!!! (Except the 10 miler, I could not walk any further to the booth to pick one up.)

So I guess my closing thought for this post is … all those races sure were a heck of a lot work for a banana!!!!! But #65joyfullybold …

65 Joyfully Bold ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 12:48:00 +0000

Today, I turn 65. Yes, that is correct, 65!!!! I always thought the phrase, “where has the time gone?” was a bit of a cliché. I may be thinking about that a bit differently these days.

I recently heard this comment:

“Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”

Boy, I can appreciate this now. Yes, I turn 65 today. I like to think of 65 as the new 40!!!!! I believe I actually feel better now at 65, then I did when I was 40. For that I can be so very grateful. I started a wellness program about 4 years ago, and I can honestly say that it has changed my life, I know it has extended my life, and in actuality, probably saved my life.

I think the reality of age 65 may have hit me the strongest when I opened my mail and found my Medicare card. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. And to even be more cynical, since I am still working, I don’t need it yet, and I fear that by the time that I do, that it won’t be worth the paper it is written on any longer … given our current political climate!

Last year, in my 64^th year, my promise to myself was to “live boldly.” I think I accomplished that in many ways. I like to celebrate these bold moves last year …

· Maintained a 70-pound weight loss for yet another year … 3 years currently!

· Took a transatlantic cruise from Tampa, Florida to Barcelona, Spain. The boldest part of this was the flight home, given my less than comfortable level with flying!

· Deadlifted 165 pounds!! (Can I add to this that I am 4’9” and about 130 pounds!)

· Walked at least 200 miles in different road races throughout the year.

· Participated in several rallies/protests over beliefs I hold dear. Some that I thought would be uncomfortable, but actually turned out to be huge blessings.

But rather just sharing what I did, I’d like to reflect on what I’ve learned. And not just in my 64^th year, but during my 64 years. I love the meme I saw once that said, “Some days I just wish I had the wisdom of a ninety-year-old, the body of a twenty-year-old, and the energy of a three-year-old.” That may just be the home run!!!!!

I’ve learned …

· Say the right words at the time. You may not get another opportunity.

· Eat healthy, exercise well, diminish your stress, and sleep well.

· Your body listens to everything you say about it and to it. Be kind!! If you wouldn’t say it to somebody else, don’t say it to yourself.

· Laugh! I mean belly laugh!!!!! And, then belly laugh again, and again, and yet again! There is truth in the statement that laughter is the best medicine.

· It’s OK to be afraid, as long as you don’t let it paralyze you.

· Find your true friends and nourish those friendships. True friendship is a huge blessing from God, and with all grace, needs to be embraced and nurtured.

· Love your family. All of them, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. They are your family!

· Don’t be afraid to cry. Cry if you are sad, cry if you are happy, cry if you are frustrated. A good cry is good for the soul.

· Make a commitment to do at least one fun thing a day. Don’t wait for tomorrow, that opportunity may not come.

· Dance! Get up and dance!!! Everyone can dance, believe me, everyone can dance!

· Walk in the rain. It is so refreshing.

· Make sure to play in the snow. So much fun to catch snowflakes on your tongue. Don’t worry if someone sees you.

· Always use your hands to help others.

· Get a dog. Get two or three dogs. Surround yourself with dogs. It is unconditional love personified.

· Be kind to nature. It holds majesty. Just sit or walk in nature and listen. That’s all that is needed.

· Squish your toes in the sand and surf.

· Always be honest. Simply be honest.

· Meet new people from different places, different cultures, different religions, different countries. Our diversity makes us strong.

· At any opportunity, hold a baby. Watch their eyes as they start to explore. We can learn a lot from them.

· Sing! Sing! Sing! If it’s sacred music that speaks to you, sing it. Whatever touches your soul in song, sing it!

· Drive safely. If someone is frustrated with your speed and tries to “push you along”, just turn up the radio, and sing along!

· Read. Read everything you can get your hands on. It’s a beautiful way to explore so many avenues.

· Travel, and then travel some more. The world is our playground, and knowledge abounds.

· Decorate your home for the seasons. Each season is an awesome work of art from God. Celebrate it!

· Work hard. Find a job that makes you want to get up every day, and work hard.

· Love through every pore in your body. If you’ve ever truly loved someone, you never stop loving them. Store it in the right place.

· Never accept in silence. If it is important to your beliefs, make your voice heard!

· Pray. Start your day off with prayer, and end your day with prayer. It can just be a conversation, a spiritual book, a silent time spent with you and your God.

· Worship! Whatever your belief, worship!

· Always, without exception, be kind!

I always thought I might be a little sad to grow older, and it seems that 65 is indeed a special number. But rather than sad, I feel excitement. I feel bold excitement. If I’m being 100% honest, I may be a bit sad because I know my days may be getting a bit shorter, if life expectancy can be considered. For that, I am sad. But I am excited, as I feel that the “knowledge” that I’ve learned over the many years, has resulted in my being much more “in the moment.” It makes me want to embrace many different and new things, and it has made me less afraid. Not being afraid may be one of the biggest blessings of growing older. I think we all experience fear as we are growing up. First our fears as a child, then our fears of acceptance as a teenager, then our fears of young adulthood, our fears of parenthood. Yes, there are fears of growing older, but I think our knowledge of “living in the moment” truly helps to allay those fears. I know it has for me.

So my year of 2017, I committed to “live boldly.” My year of 65 is committed to being 65 and joyfully bold. I do believe God calls us to be bold with our lives.

God has always put me in the right place, with the right people, at the right time. So … I am 65 and joyfully bold!!!!!!

When I was 64 ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 17:06:00 +0000

I started out the year of 2017 saying it was going to be my year of “living boldly.” Yes, a lot of this determination was brought on by the 2016 Presidential Election and the outcome of the unrest that ensued following said election. I am proudly and unapologetically liberal, so to say it has been a year of angst, for my soul, would be an understatement. I have said repeatedly, and I will say again now, it has nothing to do with political differences. We all have our own political agendas and thoughts on how things should work. But the difference with this election was not political … it was pure out and out humanity. That is a line in the sand, my friends.

With this unrest, I committed myself to “living boldly.” Never accept through silence, take each day as a beautiful gift from our God, embrace that gift, share it with others, and above all live and love each and every single day … live and love each and every single day.

So my year of 2017, the year I turned 64 on February 9 …

From the very first of the year, I remained totally and completely ensconced on my wellness journey. I worked with my company and my health educator and personal trainer to help spread the word to other employees. I committed to being available to my fellow co-workers to assist them on their health journey. This is one of my most passionate missions, and I am so thankful to boldly participate.

January brought a lot of unrest in the political arena. I attended my first ever protest and rally on January 31. This was in response to the recent ban on immigration. I found this disturbing on so many fronts. It has repercussions that most of us cannot even imagine yet or wrap our arms around. But I also attended this rally for so many other reasons. I have said so many times, and will continue to state, that this environment has awakened the “silence” of many. By “silence” I don’t just mean folks not stating their mind in words or actions, but “silence” in not truly being aware of how others have lived, been marginalized, while others have been so privileged. I knew, as my year progressed, that this would not and was indeed not, my only rally or protest. I attended a health care reform rally, in an effort to save our health care for millions upon millions, I attended a Black Lives Matter and Interfaith Rally in response to the hatred that was evidence in Charlottesville, and I recently attended the Women’s March.

In February, I actually joined in conversation and planning of a transatlantic cruise to Barcelona, Spain. This is intensely brave for me, as I HATE to fly. Not only would I be flying almost 10 hours home from Barcelona, I would also be cruising across the Atlantic Ocean from Tampa, Florida to the Mediterranean Sea to Barcelona, Spain. We would have two weeks at sea, with 4 ports during the two weeks, and 6 full days of total at sea. The planning and anticipation were exciting, but the apprehension was real as well.

Also in February … Happy 64^th Birthday to me!!!!!!!!

Now for March … the first of March, I participated again in the Triple Crown of Road Races. I live in the Derby City area, and each year there are three road races and a half-marathon that I participate in by walking in celebration of the Kentucky Derby. This has been one of my victory celebrations for my continued 70 pound weight loss. These races are 5K, 10K, 10 miles, and I do the half-marathon 13.1. I was only privileged to participate in the 5K, 10K, and 10 miler this year, due to being in the middle of the ocean for the half-marathon. I did miss that half-marathoner this year … I’ll be back on the road in 2018 for that one!! (To celebrate my 65^th Birthday!!)

On April 7, I celebrated my Third Healthy Birthday!! On April 7, 2014 I started on my wellness journey. Now three years later, I celebrate my 70 pound weight loss, and more importantly than the weight, my return to a healthy lifestyle, healthy, normal labs, and very healthy body. I am forever grateful for this journey.

Also in April, we made our transatlantic crossing to Spain. What an adventure, and more importantly, what an awesome group of friends to share this experience. I know we have bonded in friendship and spirit, and these bonds will not be broken. We are looking forward to many more adventures over the years.

I could go on throughout the months of 2017, but I won’t bore you with each detail.

My commitment was to “live boldly.” I believe God calls each of us to live boldly. Whether it be with large things, where we face a fear, or the small things. In small things we often touch more lives. I don’t honestly think there really is anything as a “small thing.” What may seem small to us, to another may be a life blood.

I love these beautiful lyrics from the song, “We Will Rise Up and Follow” by David Haas

“In the eyes of the stranger, tearful, joyous, or frightened. In the face of each neighbor, Jesus summons us all. When we hear words of hatred, spreading fear and false witness, words that cry to be challenged, Jesus summons us all.

We will rise up, rise up and follow. Christ before and beside us. Loving pattern to guide us. As we answer the call.”

Live Boldly … give boldly of yourself … love boldly. My life has been enriched in so many ways. God has always placed me in the right place, with the right people, at the right time. It’s beyond time to Pay It Forward.

Joyful Third Anniversary ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 29 Dec 2017 14:44:00 +0000

December 29 is a celebration day for me. It has been three years since I reached a 70-pound weight loss. I have placed a lot of pressure on myself this past year, as I have been “maintaining” a weight about 2 pounds above that 70-pound-weight loss number. I have been completely and totally hung up on THAT NUMBER!!! As I start this blog post, I don’t know what the number will be on December 29, because I start writing this memory actually on December 27. I’m starting now because I really want to focus on the past three years, instead of THAT NUMBER!!!

I started my wellness journey on April 7, 2014. I didn’t really have a goal weight in my mind, as the program that I participate with (HMR program) does not assign you a target weight number. But as I got closer to the end of that year, and also got closer to the 70-pound weight loss number, I thought how nice it would be to hit that mark before the end of the year. Sure enough, as I weighed in on December 29, 2014, I hit that 70-pound-weight loss. I had in my mind that I would lose another 10 pounds, and then I would be content to maintain.

Things can change with what you might have in your mind that you want to accomplish. I did lose a few more pounds over the next several weeks, and I maintained that weight loss for several months. However, it became evident that it may not be a “true weight loss.” In my efforts to concentrate on a particular number, I was exercising a lot, but not keeping the nutrition balance appropriate for the amount of exercise. Brandon, my health educator worked with me, tirelessly, to add in more lean proteins, more whole grains, and to up my calorie content a bit. I did so, and even though I hate to admit it, felt better, had more strength, and more energy … but I also “gained” a few pounds over a period of months. This is terrifying. Anyone who has battled weight, been on “diets”, etc. will know exactly what my thoughts were … “Here I go again! I’m going to gain it all back!” It truly is a mind game. But I can report that over the past year to year and a half, for the most part, I have been within 1 pound of the same weight, often within a quarter of a pound or half a pound of the same weight. WOW!!! Talk about maintaining.

I’ve learned (almost) that numbers are numbers. While you may think you want to weigh a certain number, your body will find it’s sweet spot and stay right there, as long as you are doing your part with proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress management. To prove this point, I actually went back in Phase 1 of our wellness plan. Phase 1 is “boot camp” so to speak, and this is where everyone starts out initially in our HMR program. Well, I went back in Phase 1 for a total of 6 weeks!!! Guess how much weight I lost … ¼ pound!!!!!!!! My body absolutely loves where it is right now. I still have that magical number in my head, but I am slowly, ever so slowly accepting my status quo.

When I start to regress and fret over THAT NUMBER, I remind myself of this:

· Off all blood pressure medications

· Lower cholesterol and medication dropped in ½ of dose prior to my wellness journey

· My body exercises and does things that it hasn’t done in 40 years

· I rarely, if ever, have a cold, headache, or seasonal illnesses

· I shattered a shoulder, but I healed from the surgery in lightning speed time and amazed my doctors and therapists.

· I have walked three half marathons, a number of 10 milers, 10K’s, and 5K’s, and actually ran a 5K for the first time in my life this year, at age 64!!

· I made the commitment to lift heavier weights this year, and working with Brandon, my trainer and health educator, accomplished this commitment. My claim to fame is 165-pound deadlift. Not bad for a 4’9”, soon to be, 65-year-old lady!!

· During one weights workout this year, in 10 minutes I did 10 reps of 7 deadlifts of 95 pounds and 7 chest presses of 65 pounds. Doing the math that is 70 x 95 and 70 x 65 …. That is 11,200 pounds in 10 minutes. Seriously ???

· And, probably the most humbling … when someone tells me they joined the HMR program, joined the gym, and are getting healthy because I inspired them!!!! Wow!!!!

So, as I celebrate this third anniversary, on December 29, 2017 of having lost 70 pounds, I’m going to be happy regardless of what THAT NUMBER is on the scale. I know it will be within 1 to 3 pounds. Heck that could be muscle weight, and I’m not naïve enough to think it may be a little weight gain with the holiday temptations of the past few weeks. But, whatever THAT NUMBER is, I’m one happy and blessed girl. Three years of health, fitness, and maintaining of an awesome amount of weight loss.

As I started this past year, I knew I was just one year shy of hitting the big age of 65!!! I made a commitment to myself that I would live boldly in 2017. I’m happy to say I accomplished that goal. I’ve learned a lot this year, exercised a lot this year, maintained healthy habits a lot this year, travelled to different parts of the world this year, and have thoroughly enjoyed life a lot this year. I want to continue that “a lot“ into 2018. So my goal in 2018, and I’ll turn 65 on February 9, is to build from that live boldly to stating the fact that I am 65 and joyfully bold!!!! I will continue to live boldly, building on what I’ve learned this past year, and carrying that knowledge into my 65^th year!!!!!! You are never to old, never to big, never to small, never to anything to not LIVE BOLDLY and go for your dreams. Dreams do become reality. I know it!!!!

God placed me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. I am forever grateful and blessed!

Translations ... (Part One as I am sure there will be more!!)

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Mon, 14 Aug 2017 14:31:00 +0000

I would think that any of us that have been on a health journey may be able to identify with this particular blog post. Please notice that I did not say “diet”. I refuse, I absolutely refuse. I saw a quote on our board at my wellness center this week that read, “It is not a short term diet. It is a long term lifestyle change.” That is true, oh so true.

I have found that the first stage of my journey, although I did not realize it at the time, was actually the easiest part of my journey. Again, note that I didn’t say “easy”, but rather “easiest.” Easiest of a journey that is difficult at every stage along the way.

I am proud to say that, during my journey, I have lost 70 pounds. But, I am prouder to say, that I have maintained that 70 pound loss, within 3 to 4 pounds, for the past 2 ½ years. That has been the hardest part!

When I first started out, the particular plan I used, was very cut and dry in terms of what I could and could not have … or should and should not have. I will say that I stayed the course, and I never strayed “outside the box.” Since it was pre-determined what I could and should be doing, I found it very easy to stay on course, and I continuously, if slowly, lost weight.

Then along came maintenance, and what my particular plan calls Phase 2. This is the part where you start to put things back into your diet from the “real world” of eating. The “real world” that I’ll call sabotage outright. Our society is not meant to promote health. Oh yes, we think we do a great job of promoting health. All of our food industries have their fat-free, carb-free, calorie-free, sugar-free marketing tools. They market this stuff exquisitely well. Always with the right verbiage, the pretty packaging, and all the endorsements from the American Heart Association, The Cancer Institute, etc. But before you are quick to make these choices, first take a good class in label reading, so you can read that label and know exactly what you are putting in your body. I have been blessed to have my personal trainer and health educator mentor myself and my support group, along the way, with proper label reading. We have found that these so-called “healthy” foods have so much more sodium and additives in order to make them taste better, that “healthy” may go right out the door. Are all of them bad? Of course not! But beware, beware, and choose wisely. Make an educated choice!

For this particular blog, the topic I really want to discuss and share is the other part of maintenance and ongoing healthy choices. I have now been on my journey since April 7, 2014. I am a very social person, enjoying my friends, my social life, and being out and about. I never realized how much “entertainment by mouth” permeated our social gatherings. In the early days of my journey, I was quick to say “no, thank you”, bring along healthy choices for myself and others to share, and admittedly my friends knew I was “dieting” as they called it, so they would try to be sensitive. But their tries often only resulted in questions like, “can you have this?” And then, “You can’t? Why not?” Then of course, there was always their lesson in what they had read, and why I should be able to eat one thing or the other. We finally got beyond all that, as I would often say, “that’s great for others. But not for me right now.” I think it was finally understood that I was on a particular journey, and I was not going to deviate.

But as maintenance has moved along, and I can incorporate other things within my eating habits, we are slowly getting back to the “sky’s the limit.” I have found myself having to say “no” too many times, and while I realize I am probably more sensitive than others, I bet all of us along our journey have heard the same comments, and defended the same answers. I’ll share now, and I’ll also add my personal translation of said comments …

Scene 1 …

Comment: “There is a group of us going out tonight to a happy hour by the river. There are drinks and appetizers, and there is a good musical group playing. We are leaving about 4:30 and will be home about 10:00 or 10:30. Please come with us.”

Me: “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I’m going to decline this time.” Then deciding that I needed to be 100% transparent, so it would not be interpreted that I wouldn’t enjoy their company, I added, “It’s really hard for me to go to some of these functions and watch others drink and eat, when I really don’t have that in my food plan so much anymore.”

Comment: “You can go with us and drink water.”

Translation: Yes, we are going to a great amusement park. You can come with us, but you can only look at the rides, but not ride any of them.

Scene 2 …

Comment: “You can have a piece of this salted caramel cheesecake. You’ve earned it.”

Me: “That’s 990 calories!!!”

Comment: “Just exercise it off.”

Translation: I deserve to eat a piece of cheesecake, that may take me 5 minutes to eat, but then walk for 4 hours and 42 minutes, swim laps for 2 hours and 4 minutes, or do general aerobics for 2 hours and 49 minutes, to try to burn off those calories.

Scene 3 …

A group of us are sitting together and two of us are talking about eating and exercising and a recent Wellness Class that I attended.

Comment: “How long are you going to go to these classes and keep this up?”

Me: “I need the support, and I love the information I get from the classes.”

Comment: “Don’t you know by now what you can and can’t eat? And, what will make you gain weight?”

Me: “Well, considering that I ate and lived fairly unhealthy for over 40 years, I think two years into this process is still in the very early stages. Things don’t become habit overnight.”

Comment: *silence*

Translation: This is just another “fad”, we’ll all move onto another discussion in 6 months, and she’ll be trying to lose weight again with yet another “program.”

Scene 4 …

Comment: “How much more weight do you want to lose? When are you going to start eating normal again?”

Me: “I would love to have a few pounds to play with, but I’m thrilled with where I am right now. This is my new normal, and I don’t see myself ever eating differently. It’s what I like and what I want to eat.”

Translation: “Diets” are not sustainable, and we are destined to returning to our previous unhealthy ways, and of course, you will gain your weight back!”

Scene 5 …

A group sitting together, socializing. A table full of snacks, including my contribution of fresh veggies and fruit.

Comment: “Can you have almonds? Can you have some of these Pringles, they are low fat? Can you have some of this dip? I made it with low fat cream cheese? These crackers are lower in fat than the regular ones. They are a healthy snack.”

Me: “No thanks, I’m good! I have been munching on these veggies and this fruit, and I’m actually pretty full.”

Comment: “Don’t you ever want good stuff again?”

Translation: The crackers are “healthy.” They say less fat, but don’t mind the sodium and the fact that they are 200 calories for THIRTEEN crackers. Thirteen little bitty crackers!!!!!!!!!!!

Scene 6 …

Having dinner with a group.

Comment: While looking at my plain baked potato with just a bit of steak sauce on top for flavoring. “Do you really like that? Don’t you ever wish you could eat good stuff again?”

Me: “I love steak sauce on my baked potato. I ate my potatoes this way even before I was eating healthy.”

Translation: YOU ARE WEIRD!!!!!!!!

The above are real events. I will state vehemently that none of these comments were made out of malice, unkindness, or to make me feel bad. I think they are comments that just really do seem normal, and admittedly was my normal before this journey. Lifestyles can be changed, habits can be changed, and new habits become new lifestyles. That’s why I love the quote at my wellness center that reads, “It is not a short term diet. It is a long term lifestyle change." The sooner those of us on this journey GET THAT, the easier the new habits become our new lifestyle.

TO HEALTH!!!!!!!!!!!

A Heart Gone ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 14:20:00 +0000

I guess it is normal that sometimes it takes years to put words to paper and then others times they flow like Niagara Falls. I’m suspicious it is all related to the content, the depth of the words, and simply the right timing to capture the thoughts.

This is a journey that starts at age seventeen. Christmas season of age seventeen. It’s funny how certain dates are molded into your heart and mind, while other dates get erased before they can even become a memory.

A few weeks before the holidays, this 17-year-old girl found herself pulling into the Clark Gas Station to get her oil checked. Were there issues with the car? Of course not! There happened to be a 17-year-old, quite handsome, young man that worked at said gas station. What better way for a young lady to meet someone than to feign possible car trouble? It was perfectly logical. Handsome young man checked the oil, and not surprisingly, found absolutely nothing wrong. But hopefully it was an ice breaker. However, after a few weeks when there was no change in action, it seemed all was in vain.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s, the young lady excitingly joined other friends from her high school and headed to New York City with a theatre group from another local high school. Her first time away from home without her parents! And, to New York City! Handsome young man was not even thought about. Oh, the fickleness of a 17-year-old!

Upon returning to the airport from the New York trip, the family was waiting at the gate. Yes, this is back before all the security issues at the airports when friends and family could actually come directly to the gate, and when you walked off the plane, you could see loved ones smiling and awaiting your return. Mother, father, sister waiting at the gate … and best friend, best friend’s boyfriend, and handsome young man! Now that was a happy surprise.

For the next four years, handsome young man and young lady were inseparable. To say that this union changed the course of both of their lives would be an understatement. Planning their life together, the children they would have, the careers they would choose were normal conversations. Never, never in the conversations was there any discussion of IF they would marry, it was only WHEN they would marry. Months turned to years, and years turned into changes as each of them matured.

There seems to be more changes in people from their teen years into their early adulthood years, or so it seemed with handsome young man and young lady. What was once clear anticipation of a life together, became a question each day, and for some reason, unknown to this day, a drawing apart of their hearts and minds. When handsome young man stated one evening that he thought he would “go out to California for a while and just hang out”, young lady decided it was time for a break. Handsome young man would never have suggested this split, but his actions progressed in a manner that forced young lady to make that suggestion and decision. Funny how this decision making reared its ugly head many years later as mature adults.

Handsome young man met another lady, shortly after split and probably during if truth were known, and married very quickly. He moved on with his life with his wife and two daughters, and young lady moved on with her life, friends, career, but no husband, no children. Young lady acknowledges the feelings she knew she had before with handsome young man, and quite honestly never felt that same puttering with anyone else that came into her life. Not that there were very many at all that came into her life.

When young lady’s father passed away, handsome young man walked into the funeral home. Their visit time seeing each other in over 12 years. His comment, “I had to come. That man offered to put me through college.” Young lady never knew her father and handsome young man had these discussions. She did know her father often said, “if I had to hand pick a son, I couldn’t pick one any finer.” Cordial condolences followed, and handsome young man left the funeral home.

At age forty, handsome young man contacts young lady. There is a discussion of a potential medical issue with handsome young man, and young lady works in health care. He pays a visit to the physician she works with, and then chooses to wait in the reception room all afternoon, so he and young lady can have dinner together when her work shift is complete.

Handsome young man relays the message that he and his wife are separated and getting a divorce. Young lady responds that she is sorry to hear that they are going through this, and his reply, “that’s OK. Marriage is not a bad thing, I just married the wrong person many years ago.” Then when dinner is over, handsome young man states that he has to have a hug.

For the next several years, handsome young man randomly pops up on young lady’s door. Always when there is something “going on” in each other’s lives. It is uncanny how it is almost intuitive of needing to share a thought, an event, a need.

Then at age 60 or so, handsome young man and young lady start the new technology of texting. Handsome young man sends young lady beautiful and tender texts. Texts of memories, texts of kind thoughts, sweet compliments. First text in the morning at 5:30 a.m. wishing her a sweet day, texts at the end of the day wishing her a restful night. Young lady asks him for dinner, for walks, but he is ever so busy with his grandchildren and children. Seems there are a lot of issues with family needs, and he is the glue to his family. Young lady is warmed by this, as she remembers since age seventeen, his tenderness and care for others. He would often put his time on hold while assisting others.

The young lady learns that handsome young man is living with someone! That’s a quick sentence to this story, isn’t it? Well, it was a quick sentence in real life as well. Young lady learns that handsome young man has been living with someone for the past twelve years or so. It is explained to her (not by handsome young man) that the relationship is “not that kind of relationship.” Living with someone is living with someone. Young lady realizes that if it is “not that kind of relationship” that there would be no reason for handsome young man to hide this information. Young lady remembers all the times she tried to give him an opportunity to just tell her what was doing on with him. It was always the grandchildren and his children. Young lady realizes that when handsome young man decided to move in with lady, it was during the same times that he was talking with young lady, stopping by young lady’s home, and young lady was more than available for a relationship.

Lies through omission are lies all the same. Young lady was made into the “other woman” under no knowledge of this herself, and young lady knows that she would have never been in that role, if the choice had been hers. Handsome young man had again made another choice, that forced young lady to make a decision. History does repeat itself, it so repeats itself.

Handsome young man never said a word to young lady, tried to explain anything, or acknowledged why? Why the charade? Why the lies through omission? Why did he feel the need to go down this road? Why in their 60’s, this was a necessary path? He continued to send texts of “good morning”, “happy birthday”, “Merry Christmas”, and young lady never responded. The hardest thing in her life was to delete those texts with no reply. Friends have told her that sometimes it is clear why you said goodbye in the first place. Is it ever really clear?

So for the first time since age seventeen, handsome young man and young lady are no longer parts of each other’s lives. It is all so strange to know that someone that has been a kindred spirit, a love of your life, a friend, and someone that knew you as well as you knew yourself will never be a part of your life again. It was always known before, that at some point, some time, there would be communication. That familiarity that just existed. That’s gone … it’s gone. And, so is a part of young lady's heart.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139

Mirrored Reflections ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 13:54:00 +0000

A face of no confidence

A face of no self esteem

A face of inappropriate appearance

A face of a sinner

A face of a failure

How these images reflect. Another sees differently … yet the mirror reflects …

Is the mirror a friend of honesty, or a foe of reality?

How can some see so vividly, but the mirror dispel that assumption?

Truth or perception?

Words say and tell a story, yet the mirror reflects …

Day by day actions validate, yet the mirror reflects …

Joyful spirits encourage, yet the mirror reflects …

Each day a new hope, this might be the day, and then the mirror reflects …

Victory received, failure perceived, the mirror reflects …

Take it down, turn it around, peer into it and challenge it?

Happy Third Birthday ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 07 Apr 2017 12:29:00 +0000

So today is my third healthy birthday!! Three years ago today, April 7, 2014, I started on my Wellness Journey. As I have said before, I absolutely refuse to call it the “D” word … Diet !!!! Never, ever will you hear that word course through my lips.

It has truly been and continues to be my Wellness Journey! Our Health Educator asks just about every week, “How long are we doing this?” The reply is always a resounding, “Forever!!” In the previous two years, when I’ve spoken of this journey, I have shared information about eating healthy with lean proteins, veggies, fruits, and whole grains. I have also shared information about PA (physical activity) numbers, Fitbit steps, and exercising my body.

One blogpost shared my fear of the scale and how difficult it is for me to be accountable to the scale, especially when I have this “magic” number that I want reflected on said scale. To this end, the scale continues to be a complete brat! While I’m not cured of this demon, I am much better, and react in a healthier way to my disappointments with the bratty scale. On a recent evening encounter with the bratty scale, I expressed my disappointment to our Health Educator. In his wisdom, his response to me was that I set myself up for disappointment. He reiterated to me that with the success I have had, that I should not “need” the scale to do any particular thing on any particular weigh in. As long as I am eating healthy, exercising healthy, and living my healthy habits … that should be my goal. I know this to be true! While this is still a work in progress for me, I know that the victory is a healthy journey. There is never an end to the destination, just a continued healthy path. I know that I continue to live true to my journey. That elusive number on the scale continues to elude me, but I know that I am doing my part. I am learning how to quit trying to do it perfectly. Then I can do it joyfully!!

My celebration for my Third Healthy Birthday is to share the non-scale related victories. One word sums this up the most … FRIENDS!!! Wow, my special friends. I have met so many folks along the way, and all have had an impact on me in ways immeasurable. The friends that I now have, that I would have never known without this journey, are soulmates and have found a spot in my heart, which I have grown to believe, had to have been reserved just for them! From the one that has mentored us all with his knowledge, insight, and such dear kindness, to everyone that sits in class, shares their stories, and to the incredible women that have been with me since day one, thank you!! We laugh together, cry together, celebrate victories together, travel together, lunch together, exercise together, walk miles together in road races, and exist daily in each other hearts. How can that ever be topped?

It’s odd when I think back over the past 3 years, and I realize that, what rests in my heart today, is sometimes so disconnected yet connected to the actual 70 pound weight loss. I am often told that I am an inspiration to other. I’ve never felt that I am worthy of inspiring anyone. I don’t think I will ever get used to this compliment. To be honest, it brings me to tears when anyone says this to me. I have so much joy when I see others follow the same wellness plan, work with our same training group, start to feel better in body, mind, and soul, and form such special friendships. This is a victory that is God given in every way possible. The heart speaks to me in ways about this journey, in such a changed manner, with each ongoing year.

This celebration of my third healthy birthday is a celebration of gratefulness to my friends. I am blessed beyond reason with your friendship, your amazing impact on my life, and our continued journey together. You have enriched me in so many ways, and I will be forever grateful. Your power, determination, motivation, and kindred souls are inspiring in every way possible. You are strong, so very strong.

So again I say, to all with me on this journey, you know who you are … you are so greatly loved!

God certainly placed me in the right place, at the right time, with the most incredible people I could ever imagine. Blessed, so blessed!

Let's Go!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 31 Jan 2017 15:33:00 +0000

So, at the age of almost 64, I formally attended my first rally and protest last evening. Make no bones about it though, this does not mean that I have not cared, been passive, or have had my head in the sand for the other 63 years of my life. On the contrary, I am quite outspoken about my beliefs, will share conversation with others, and have never been afraid of my beliefs.

The recent ban on immigration is disturbing on so many fronts. It has repercussions that most of us cannot even imagine yet or wrap our arms around. However, I attended the rally for so many other reasons. I have said so many times, and will continue to state, that this environment has awakened the “silence” of many. By “silence” I don’t just mean folks not stating their mind in words or action, but “silence” in not truly being aware of how others have lived, been marginalized, while others have been so privileged. As a white woman, I cannot fathom, let alone understand what our African American friends and neighbors have lived. I have never considered myself a racist, a bigot, or thought of myself as better than someone else. I hope I am learning just how misinformed I have been, the rose colored glasses or off!!!! Nothing can be corrected until we truly understand. I don’t think any of us truly understand. It is impossible, as so, so many of us have not “lived” it! It is heart breaking.

As I returned home last night, I was contemplative in my car, alone with just my thoughts. Just how far am I willing to go, what am I willing to do, and do I even know what I can do? It is overwhelming in every capacity.

What I do know, is that I stood with thousands last night, male, female, black, brown, yellow, white, gay, straight, adult, children, leaders, followers, every nationality, descendants of immigrants, Christian, Muslim, Jew, and other religions and beliefs that I may be totally unaware or comprehend. But, we stood together, often shoulder touching shoulder. We listened, we replied, we sang, and yes, I cried. I cried for all the times I could have done more. I cried for all the folks that are marginalized. I cried because of my privilege in direct contrast to someone else’s plight.

For the past few weeks I have felt ready to implode. I need to do something! I went to bed last night, feeling that I had taken the first step. Now the real challenge begins. How do I put into action assistance and resistance? Assistance to make a difference to a few or many. Resistance in never accepting what I know to be less than my beliefs. Resistance to acts that cause further anquish to the marginalized and more privilege to others. This is the question many ask ourselves. What can I, or we do? I don’t have those answers. I wish I did, because I would sleep better each night knowing that I was active with action.

Maybe the answer is truly in baby steps. It may be a phone call to our legislators. It may be serving lunch to the hungry on the weekend. It may be donating extra clothes to the poor. It may be volunteering at services that assist refugees. It may be donating teaching hours to a poor school that needs mentors after hours. Volunteer at Big Brothers and Big Sisters. The opportunities are endless. The fact that our country has so many ways to assist is amazing. Make that first call. Ask that first question that may lead to a more definitive way. Yes, awaken, the “silent” activist in yourself.

Somehow I know this won’t be my last rally, my last protest, my last time to stand with so many in diversity, yet in strength. I can’t do them all, it is impossible. That does not mean I care more about one cause than the other … it only means that there is much to do, I am only one person, so I can do what I can do, and I can share with others how they may be able to join in as well.

Regardless of our religion, our Baptism, our beliefs, we truly are all one race of humanity. We are strong in our diversity, and we have strength in our differences. Embrace it and let’s go!!!!

Active With Action

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:12:00 +0000

One of my Christmas presents this year, and probably my favorite, was a book called “A Call To Mercy” of Mother Teresa’s. It is page after page of her words, others testimonies, and prayer and reflection. It is humbling on each and every single page. It is indescribable her love of the poorest of the poor, and her faith and love in Jesus Christ.

One of her concepts that makes me pause is her concept and reaction of “Christ in the distressing disguise.” By this she means the mentally ill among us, the poor among us, the physically sick among us, the unloved among us, in essence the marginalized among us. She sees Christ in each and every single circumstance, and calls it “Christ in the distressing disguise.” With this thought in her every moment, every thought, she ministered unconditionally to the poorest of the poor. She ministered to the Christ, and held the Christ in her hands, every time she touched, serviced, prayed, and cradled someone in her arms. Just imagine the feeling of knowing that you are cradling Christ in your arms. Certainly makes one look upon situations in a totally different light.

In our current environment of so much distress, concern, disappointment, worry, and outright hate, the one thing that we can continue to do is stay the course with our beliefs, never accept through silence, and never get “used to” circumstances that we have no control over. The control we do have relates directly to our hearts, our actions, and our interactions. I share one of Mother Teresa’s passages, as I feel it relates to action:

“Love is for today; programs are for the future. We are for today; when tomorrow will come, we shall see what we can do. Somebody is thirsty for water for today, hungry for food for today. Tomorrow we will not have them if we don’t feed them today. So be concerned with what you can do today.” … Mother Teresa

To me, this is a call to take action today. Nothing can be “fixed” totally today. Not with the magnitude of changes being forced through at the rate they are being forced. But today react with love; take care of the marginalized, for if they aren’t helped today, tomorrow may not matter.

Should we channel our strengths and finances in building a wall? Is a wall what Christ would call us to do for our brothers and sisters? Or would Christ call us to reach across a wall to offer help? Would He call us to reach across a wall to welcome the marginalized? Would He call us to reach across a wall and offer our hand to render aid? Would He even tell us to build a wall? Again another one of Mother Teresa’s passages:

“You see, we have a wrong idea that only hunger for bread is hunger. There is much greater hunger and much more painful hunger: hunger for love, for the feeling of being wanted, to be somebody to somebody. A feeling of being unwanted, unloved, rejected. I think that’s a very great hunger and very great poverty.” … Mother Teresa

So what do we do? I, for one, feel helpless in trying to prevent the country I know and love into building any kind of wall or barrier to our neighbors. Let alone have to pay a dime for said wall. Yes, I can call or write my Congressman or Senator, or whoever. But do I feel that will make a difference … no!!!! But what I can do is in my neighborhood, my city, my region … I can reach out and offer a hand to the marginalized. I can get involved with Catholic Charities, who service the refugees in our areas, I can work at our lunch program in my church, that services the homeless, the hungry, refugees among them, I’m sure. It’s the starfish proverb … throwing one starfish back into the ocean from a beach full of starfish may not make a difference to the hundreds left on the beach, but it makes a difference to the one, or the few, that were assisted.

I read an article recently on how to be an activist without losing your mind. It was an interesting read. I’ve lived my entire life, through the Vietnam War era, and I’ve never actively protested anything. Yes, I have strong feelings, and I’m not afraid to share them with others during conversations. But I’ve never really protested or even considered myself an activist. But maybe so now! The article suggests that it really is impossible to react to everything you feel is wrong. It would be exhausting and almost impossible to do so. But rather, it suggested, that you pick the ones closest to your heart. That doesn’t mean that you care less about the others, or don’t see the validity in the others, but that you simply choose the ones you want to become active with action!! I like that … active with action!!! In this manner, you can channel your energies, your time, your commitment to your cause. I’m sure I will have more than one, more than two, maybe more than whatever.

I think there is a silver lining to every tragedy. The silver lining for all of us now, is that “silent” activists may have just been awakened. Can you imagine what a difference we can all make, when we channel our energies into positive action for the marginalized? What a glorious magnitude we may have on the future of many. They are “Christ in the distressing disguise.” I feel the need to be physically and prayerfully active with action.

Linebacker Snacks ... NO!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 19:34:00 +0000

Super Bowl Sunday is almost upon us. We have weathered so far, in the past 12 weeks, Halloween, Thanksgiving, four weeks of Christmas/Holiday celebrations, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. One more major eating frenzy, at least until we get ready for Valentine’s Day … Super Bowl!!

We love to celebrate all of our happy occasions with food. My health educator and personal trainer refers to these past few weeks as National Eating Season. True, ever, so true!!! I like to call it “entertainment by mouth.” It is not an exaggeration to think, that on any given day or days, during this period of time, we could eat as many as 8,000 to 10,000 calories per day!!! And, let’s face it, on those days that we may consume that many calories, do we really feel like exercising? My guess would be a resounding, No!!!!! So couple the excess calories with the loss of any physical movement (other than the exertion of propping our feet up on the couch), and is there any doubt at all, why it is so easy, and almost expected to gain weight?

With the assistance of my health educator, the support of my friends in my wellness class, and hard thoughtful processing and planning, I was able to absolutely maintain my healthy habits, my normal exercise routine, and most importantly my weight during these past many weeks.

Now I need to stay focused and continue through Super Bowl parties and fun! I LOVE football. I’ll be watching the game and cheering on my team of choice … (NOT THE PATRIOTS!!!!) What I won’t be doing is eating like a linebacker. It’s just not necessary. There is plenty of good food, plenty of fun appetizers, and yes, even a little alcohol, in moderation, should you choose. How about instead of a table full of fried wings with blue cheese dip, taco chips with queso, cheese and crackers, Swedish meatballs, and processed turkey and lunch meats … what about these healthy alternatives?

Instead of fried buffalo wings with blue cheese dip: How about crockpot buffalo chicken, made with chicken tenderloins with Frank’s hot sauce and low sodium dry ranch dressing mix. Delicious!!! Low fat, low calorie, and can easily be eaten by itself, or use celery, jicama sticks, or carrots for dipping. The calories in one fried buffalo wing, (and who eats just one) is 89 calories. There are 144 calories in 4 ounces of shredded chicken tenderloins. This goes a long way when being used for a dip, or even eating plain. You have probably already saved yourself 100’s of calories.

Instead of taco chips and queso: How about salsa and fresh veggies. Of course, the queso and chips are awesome. I’m not saying otherwise, but again look at the calories. One cup of chips is 293 calories, and again, are we only eating one cup? One cup of queso is 263 calories. That may sound like a lot of queso, but all night, dip after dip after dip after dip … maybe not!!! Fresh veggies and salsa, at the most are probably 200 calories, and you can munch all night. Add some hummus to the mix as well. Delicious, tasty, and healthy.

Instead of cheese and crackers: How about string cheese? There is about 113 calories in one ounce (one slice) of cheddar cheese. And looking at calorie content in “generic” crackers, there are 81 calories in 5 crackers. Unless you are taking one teeny tiny slice of cheese, and breaking it into tiny squares to share with 5 crackers, again you are looking at adding on a lot of calories to your evening. String cheese, which takes a little longer to eat, especially if you are like me and have to pull it apart in strings, is 80 calories for one stick. Again, you are saving a lot of calories.

Instead of Swedish meatballs: How about crockpot London Broil. Made with very, very lean protein flank steak, low sodium tomato soup, cream of mushroom soup, and dried onion soup. It slices into the most delicious bits of steak!! It is only 219 calories for 4 ounces! Swedish meatballs are 284 calories for a cup, and again who is stopping with a cup???

Instead of processed turkey and lunch meats: How about a tray of boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce. Processed turkey and lunch meats are not only high in calorie, but they are excessively high in sodium. Boiled shrimp are low sodium, low calorie, and look exquisite on your table!!!

Then top it all off with a big pot of what I call “Sharon’s Not Quite Chili”. Here is the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 lb Laura’s Lean Ground Beef

1 or 2 cans of rotel tomatoes

1 can Kroger Red Beans (rinsed and drained)

Onion

Sweet Potato

3 small cans of Hunts No Salt Added Natural Tomato Sauce

Low sodium/fat free chicken broth (enough for consistency you like)

Cumin

Chili Powder

Cinnamon

Directions: In a soup pot sauté chopped onion and peeled/chopped sweet potato for a few minutes. Then add ground beef and continue to brown until beef is cooked. Drain in a colander to discard any extra fat. Return mixture to pot and add in tomato sauce, rotel tomatoes, chicken broth, red beans, cumin, chili powder, and cinnamon (to taste). Bring to a boil and then simmer for a bit. About 100 calories per bowl and depending on how much beef is in each bowl, equals a lean protein and vegetables.

So there you have it! A party table that all will enjoy, will not have excessive calories, you can enjoy the game, party with friends, and when you go to bed you experience the best feeling ever …

The survival again, of a challenging event, that you were able to keep healthy, delicious, fun, and you have not derailed the hard work you have done for months both with your food plan and your exercise plan.

We’ve got this!!! We do not have to eat like a Linebacker!!!!! And more importantly, we don’t have to look like one either!!!

Power and Determination ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 15:09:00 +0000

Often times when I write and create my blog posts, I know my topic, know what I want to say, and can sit down and relatively quickly put words to paper. Other times, I may have an idea, but am not sure just exactly what I want to say, so it takes me longer to develop my post, and have it ready for publication.

This time is quite different. This topic I know intimately, I know my thoughts, I certainly know my content, but it is a topic that I am so intensely passionate about, that I can hardly find the words to convey my thoughts. My heart needs to bleed words to give this the justice so rightly deserved.

For a little background, on April 7, 2014 I started my wellness journey with the HMR program at Baptist Health Milestone Wellness Center in Louisville, KY. By December 29, 2014 I had lost 70 pounds!!! This was amazing and overwhelming to me. But as proud as I am of that loss, I am even prouder to say that today, December 29, 2016 marks a two year anniversary of maintaining my 70+ pound weight loss. Some days it is 73, others 70, others 71 … depends on if the scale is being a brat when I weigh. But all joking aside, I am one blessed girl!!!

Last year, on this anniversary date, I shared numbers and what they meant. I’m not even going to enter the numbers for my lean proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains, HMR shakes, HMR entrees, and physical activity calories, as I did last year. Trust me, they would almost mirror the same numbers this year as last year. No this time, I want to try to convey the overwhelming feeling of the word that is almost the hardest with any of us on a wellness journey … Maintenance!!!

April 7, 2014 Weight 199.5

December 29, 2014 Weight 129.5

So here we are at another December 29 … December 29, 2016

WEIGHT --- 128.25

Yes, I have made it another year, with maintaining within my 5 pound range for my maintenance weight. You might ask about the 5 pound range. Due to how our bodies work, on any given night of weigh-in, my weight could be down 3 pounds, up 3 pounds, or anywhere in between. This was a hard lesson for me to understand and more importantly for me to embrace. I had this “magic” number in my head that I thought I wanted to weigh, and thought I should weigh. I have learned, and sometimes painfully, that our bodies dictate to us our maintenance weight. Does that mean that because you want to eat certain foods in excess, not exercise or move your body in a healthy manner, or want to be content with a weight that is not healthy for you, that you can say, “oh, it’s what my body wants to do?” Absolutely not! What it does mean, is that if you are living a healthy lifestyle, eating a balanced diet of lean proteins, whole grains, vegetables, and fruits, have a solid exercise program, and if you have lost weight down to a healthy weight; that just because you “want” to weigh a certain number, it does not mean that your body will continue to lose weight to get to that number. This is hard! This is very hard!!! I always wanted 5 pounds to “play with.” That meant that I wanted to weigh about 5 pounds less than I really wanted to weigh, so that I could cheat at times, and not have to worry about that 1 to 3 pound weight gain that might accompany said cheat! Well, guess what? My body refuses to do it. I eat basically the same combination of foods that I ate for a period of a year, as I was losing my 70+ pounds. I exercise the same as I did during that year’s period, and often even more vigorously and with heavier weight, but the scale will not budge. My body has said, and has said loudly and clearly that it is happy!!! It is happy, healthy, and perfectly content!! And so am I. So am I!!!!!! I am overwhelmingly happy, healthy, and content!!!

On my recent physical check-up, my lab work was perfectly normal. My numbers look better than they have looked in years. I have completely stopped my blood pressure medicine, and I have been able to reduce my cholesterol medication by one-half. This would be completely discontinued as well, but I have heredity issues with hypercholesterolemia, and we all know we cannot out-run heredity!

I had a bit of a set-back early in 2016, when I took a clumsy fall, and dislocated my shoulder, broke my humerus, and shattered the bones around the entire area. I had major surgery on my right shoulder. I am proud to say that during this surgery and recovery, I maintained my weight precisely! My exercise habits were adjusted greatly, due to physical limitations, but I barely missed a day in the gym. I worked with my trainer, and we modified my work-out to accommodate my limitations. I was in physical therapy for over 5 months. My orthopedic surgeon has told me many, many times that my recovery has been so far above the bar, that he is truly amazed. He said that anyone else with that injury would have ended up with a shoulder replacement. I truly believe my recovery was due to my total body health that I enjoy, and the fact that I had strengthened my body physically, before my injury, with the correct exercise program.

My goal for 2016 was to actually run a 5K. I am a vigorous walker, but am, admittedly, a terrible runner. On October 15, I RAN my 5K. It was a not a record time, but I RAN a 5K!!!!!!

Being a smaller size, and being able to wear different styles of clothes is so much fun! However, our health educator always likes to ask us to share with him our “non-scale related victories.” I want to convey in this post, the importance of those “non-scale related victories.” I’m not diminishing the scale, and how it feels to see the numbers decrease on the scale. But, one of the most important things I have learned, through this process, is that it is just so much more than the scale. The scale is but a small part of a wellness journey.

Brandon Howard has been my health coach, personal trainer, and friend throughout this journey. I am forever grateful for his leadership, knowledge, compassion, and PATIENCE. He has a God given gift for his life work, and I am so lucky to have crossed paths. I have enjoyed the Don’t Sit Get Fit program with Eugene Dean for the past 2+ years. He is awesome, and his workouts are difficult, but always fun. I have met innumerable friends, that I didn’t even know before this journey, who are now kindred souls with me. Debra Clover and Kay Snyder have been on the same journey with me since day 1, and we still march on together. I love them!!!!! Baptist Milestone is an awesome facility with awesome staff. It is not just a gym … it is a wellness center. I enjoy many Fitbit challenges with some of the trainers, and we always have smiles and laughter to share when we cross paths at the gym. So you see, my “non-scale related victories” come in the form of human souls, friendships, support, laughter, tears, lifelong friends to walk a path with me. All of this coupled with a body that feels great, health that is enjoyed, and body movement that I didn’t know I could do … WOW … MAINTENANCE!!!

Today I attach to this post, not a picture of how I looked before, and how I look now … yes, that is important. But, today I post a picture taken on December 14, 2016. It is a picture showing me doing squats with a 115 pound barbell!!!! My security net, Brandon, is right behind me, always coaching, protecting, and I think ready to catch me!! So just remember … you are never too big, you are never too small, and most importantly you are never too old!!!!! It is amazing what the body can do when it is healthy!!!

Brandon wrote these words to me recently in a card, “You have somehow managed to pack the power and determination of a 10ft. giant into a 4’9 petite redhead.” And he added, “The best part is that there is so much more we can accomplish.” Oh, my! That, folks, is the WIN!!!!!!!! That, folks, is glorious MAINTENANCE!!! I say it all of the time, and I’ll say it again once more … Brandon and this program helped save my life. Of that, I have no doubt.

God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Blessed!!!

Boldly Honorable ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Wed, 30 Nov 2016 15:50:00 +0000

It seems that when this time of year comes around, our hearts become a bit more melancholy. Is it the change in the weather, the falling leaves, the colors that pop in nature? Perhaps it is the bustle of the holiday season, the smiles of contentment when the “perfect” gift is found, and, most definitely the laughter of the children in the anticipation of their holiday morning. Regardless of the reason, I would feel safe in assuming that all of us have had at least one moment, and probably many moments of melancholy.

What do we do with these feelings? Over the past few weeks, I have moved from feeling completely exhilarated to feelings of true sadness. It is an odd combination, and quite frankly hard to explain. I find that reading a few pages of a good book, or the opportunity to sit and listen to some soothing music, can turn my feelings around quite quickly. I’m starting to feel that this is the Lord’s way of reaching out to me to challenge me to reassess, ponder, and even more importantly take action in different ways. It’s discerning those ways of action that may be the true test.

I don’t think it is any surprise that this recent political season, both before and continuing after the election, has touched all of us in many different ways. It has been divisive to say the least, and it has left many of us feeling saddened. My depth of sadness is really not in the political issues at all. This time, I could care less about health care reform, the economic policy, or our foreign policy. My discontent and sadness is truly only in the hatred that has been embraced and endorsed. I keep searching my soul for this, and I have been unable to find peace on that front. My prayer is that this has shed a huge spotlight on the hatred that is prevalent, and perhaps this will challenge all of us to work to resolve these issues, or at minimum at least acknowledge them. I have always seen the world through rose colored glasses, but my eyes have been opened widely, and it truly makes my heart hurt.

God calls all of us to live boldly! Does boldly mean to be willing to jump out of an airplane, or dive to the depth of the oceans? It could. But, I’d rather view living boldly to mean things quite differently. Living boldly could mean to fully embrace our current moment. Sleep boldly, work boldly, laugh boldly, cry boldly, play boldly, and most definitely pray boldly. Each moment in our life is such a special gift. Why would we not want to live every moment boldly? Just exist boldly!! The hummingbird may be our perfect example. Even though they are tiny and delicate, they are deceptively strong. God does call all of us to live boldly!

We all have mentors in our lives. Those people that encourage, inspire, teach, and nurture us. Some of our mentors may be in loved ones that are no longer with us. The grief of having lost these loved ones can be paralyzing at times, and even though they may have been gone for a long time, any given moment can be as raw as the first moment we lost them. But just as the incoming tide wipes smooth the sand for fresh footprints, our memories also become more vivid when our hearts are able to smooth the grief in our hearts. I love this quote by novelist and philosopher, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, “ It’s the great mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet tender joy.” Quiet tender joy, living boldly!

In this time of melancholy, let’s listen for our message. If we are called to action for social justice, let’s embrace it. If we are challenged with feelings that we don’t understand, let’s learn from those feelings, and channel our responses in a positive manner. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, tutor a child, sit with an elder, help someone that doesn’t know our language to understand it better, and be excited in learning some of their language as well. Let’s listen to our hearts, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we remember something a loved one may have said to us in the past. Especially those times when it was a teaching moment. If we really stop and ponder, I bet we will acknowledge that most of our times spent with our loved ones were truly teaching moments.

I read somewhere the following words … I love them, and I wish I had written them … but I share now, “New grows atop the old. Maybe not smoothly but most certainly.” There is nothing wrong with new. Our intention, our bold intention, should be to make sure that the new that grows is good and honorable.

God does call us all to live boldly and with honor!

The Pleading of Our Wildlife

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 15:30:00 +0000

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Feel the night air brush across your face as the day settles and the moon glows brightly.

The path is lit by this moonlight, and God directs my every step.

Will there be food available around the bend or a warm place to rest my head?

Come Walk My Path With Me …

The nature I live within is magnificent. The earth is firm and the

grass is plush. We walk in harmony one and all.

Will man allow this to survive?

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Feel the warmth of the sun as it rises over the mountain tops.

How lucky I am to inhabit this planet. I had no control

over my chosen home.

God smiled upon me as He placed me in this existence.

Will man allow this to survive?

Come Walk My Path With Me …

Here the cry of the eagles and the wings of the doves.

The stars are there to be embraced.

Have you the courage to soar high enough?

Come Walk My Path With Me …

You will understand the beauty and the need for our land.

You will learn that god’s creations have a special balance which

needs to be nurtured and caressed.

Come Walk My Path With Me …

We can all survive together

Come Walk My Path With Me …

The Trap ... Unhealthy Trying to Be Healthy

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 19:11:00 +0000

For anyone who has been on a weight loss journey, it is not surprising to hear that the road is terrifying. It contains mountains to surpass, potholes to dig ourselves out of, curves that throw of us off track, and straightaways that can loll us into wrong thinking and false security. And, we occasionally reach that valley of relaxation and accomplishment. While we can celebrate our accomplishment, and indeed we should, we can’t stay in the valley of relaxation and get too comfortable. We need to forever be diligent in our thinking and our actions. It is indeed a lifelong journey!

When first starting my journey, I must say that it truly felt and worked quite seamlessly and easily. I was on a very structured plan… a plan that I did not need to really “think” about. It was outlined specifically for me, and all I had to do was muster up my resolve to stay the course. I thought obtaining that resolve would be the hardest part, but in reality, it turned out to be the easiest part of my journey. My resolve came quickly, as I saw the pounds melt away on a weekly basis. I believe I lost 5 pounds the first week, and subsequent weeks lost between 1 to 3 pounds weekly. The key word is “lost.” As long as I lost weekly, my resolve was good to go!!!! That’s why the resolve was the easiest part.

As with every journey, you cannot stay in one place forever; as it is with my diet plan. At this point, I will not refer again to my “diet plan.” I actually early in this journey stopped using the word “diet.” If I learned anything early on, it is that it is so much more than a “diet.” It is a “wellness” journey. My wellness journey! Not staying in one place forever, I soon found was the hardest and most challenging part of this process.

Since I had had great success with my Phase 1 journey, I was so reluctant to move to Phase 2 of my journey. Phase 1 was so very structured, no “thinking” on my part, just “doing.” Now I found myself in the first curve of the road; the curve of trying to ease my way into Phase 2. This phase required me to branch out a bit, and to start introducing certain food groups back into a healthy balance. This was so scary, since I saw a lot of those foods as the very ones that caused issues with me in the past. What I had to learn was that it wasn’t the food group that was the issue … it was the volume and the balance of that food group. One of my favorite stories with regard to balance and what I could and could not eat, was when I asked my health educator if I could have garbanzo beans on my salad. His reply, “Sharon, it was not the garbanzo beans that brought you to me in the first place.” How true!!! That is now my mantra when deciding about a food group, the amount of said food group, and the balance it has in my overall diet, “It was not the garbanzo beans…”

If I have learned anything through this journey, I would have to say the biggest revelation is the uniqueness of the human body. What it does and doesn’t do is mind boggling. All of our lives we have been taught and told to eat less and exercise more. I’d like someone to name one, just one “diet plan” or “weight loss program” that in most of the literature, that doesn’t first tell you the “miracle” of their product or program, and then the disclaimer will read something to the effect of “exercise needed to compliment the program.” I particularly love the belly fat ads about taking a pill that will reduce belly fat, and their comment during the commercial, that “if your belly fat decrease is too drastic, to only take one of the pills daily.” Well, sign me up!!! I only need to swallow two and maybe just one pill, and my belly fat will just melt away. If you believe that one, I’ve got a nice piece of swamp land in South Carolina that I’d like to sell you!!!!

The body doesn’t respond to pills, wraps, 20 day exercise fads … it responds to a daily dose of healthy, balanced eating, coupled with healthy cardio and weight training, good sleep habits, and reduction and management of daily stress. Oh, it will respond to pills, wraps, fads, initially; but it cannot sustain a healthy level without a balanced healthy lifestyle. But, the key to this healthy lifestyle is to realize that even when doing everything correctly, food, exercise, sleep, the body will still at different times show the agony of a “gain” on the scale. I call this the scale being a brat!!!!!!

This leads me to the highest mountain on my journey. I am a scalephobe. I believe the technical term, at least per Google, is gravitaphobia. It has tempered a great deal, but I look forward to when this is resolved once and for all. My lifestyle is extremely healthy now, with what I believe, is a fairly balanced eating style and exercise habits. But even with these habits, the scale on a weekly basis goes down 2 pounds, up 1.5, down .75, up 2. It is a roller coaster!! With what appears to be no rhyme or reason! I do know that stress, lack of sleep, hormone changes can all make the scale do different things. Recently while on vacation in Saratoga Springs, NY, I got up each morning at 7:00 a.m. to get on the treadmill, I ate lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, my protein shakes. I had one Bloody Mary and 10, yes I counted them, 10 pretzel crisps! It is a picnic area, full of vendors with specialty foods. So many folks picnicking around me ate junk for 5 solid days and consumed liquor quite happily. Was the scale a brat upon my return? Of course, it was. Gained 1.5 pounds!!!!! My first thought was that I should have eaten and drank like everyone else picnicking at Saratoga Race Course. But then I thought, no the scale would have been a bigger brat, and I probably would have gained 3 pounds!!! So, I allowed myself to be disappointed for that one evening, the entire time telling myself, that I did everything I was supposed to do, I couldn’t have done any better, so no need to beat myself up. The scale will do what the scale wants to do. All I need to do is stay focused on eating healthy, exercising appropriately, sleeping well, and managing my stress. Everything else will fall into place.

I titled this, “The Trap … Unhealthy Trying To Be Healthy.” This title comes naturally to me, because I can say this was my lifestyle for the first several months into Phase 2. Since I had been told for most of my years to “eat less, exercise more” I found that what I usually did as a solution to the scale being a brat, was to adjust my food intake, calorie intake, and to exercise even more! When I first started into Phase 2 and added whole grains back into my diet, the scale would go up a bit. I immediately thought “those dreaded carbs.” So I would take them out of my food plan, and of course, the scale would go back down. I would stay there a week or two, and then add them back in … the scale would inch back up … out they would go again. My health educator preached, and a bit harshly at times, that the body has to get used to what you are using to fuel it. Until it gets used to what you are introducing back into it, the scale will show a reaction of a plus or a minus. How many times did he say to “stay the course?” Too many for me to count, and so many that I led him to complete frustration with me. I was eating the incorrect balance of lean proteins, whole grains, veggies and fruits. My fruits and veggies were astounding at 10 to 12 servings per day, along with two lean proteins. But I often had no healthy whole grain carbs in my diet, and while they weren’t in my diet, I was exercising in great intensity 5 to 6 days per week. I was not fueling my body. I was the picture of being Unhealthy Trying To Be Healthy!!!!

Thankfully and blessedly, my health educator refused to give up on me. We worked together to formulate a healthy plan. It was not just about eating the correct balance, but in my case it was even more of the head game to get my mind where it needed to be with the scale, and its associated ups and downs. My mountain to climb. I would say that I’m about three-fourths the way to the peak now. I am staying the course, and I’m talking to myself daily about remaining calm about the journey. My reaction to the latest scale “brattiness” after vacation validated my improvement.

For a “wellness program”, my wellness program, I know that it is forever. It is not a destination, it is a journey. It is never over, it is for always and forever. There is a not a before and after, but a before and always! I wake up every morning, and I know that I need to make the same commitment for the new day that I have made for the days before. Each day is a new commitment to a healthy day. Our health educator uses the term “eating with intention.” That makes so much sense. We don’t eat for flavor, for fun, for social activity. We eat to fuel our bodies. These beautiful God given bodies. These temples given to us to preserve and treat with respect. My wellness program.

For anyone that can’t understand these journeys, I would pray for their empathy for those of us embarking and well on our way. It is riddled with obstacles, but the accomplishment at the end is indescribable with joy and gratitude for a healthy body, mind, and soul.

I close with this Max Lucado quote, “God never said that the journey would be easy. But he did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.”

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 23:03:00 +0000

The Patriarch of Our Family ...

To capture Tom Horn’s life in a few minutes is really quite an impossibility. THIS is his legacy. This is what Tom would want as his legacy. This is what is making Tom smile today. His family and his friends of his most magnificent lifetime.

Tom was a very social active individual. He thrived on being with people, interacting with people, and laughing with people. He truly LIVED every moment of EVERY day of his life. He maintained friendships from childhood, through his career, and certainly through his retirement. EVERYONE knew Tom Horn. I don’t think there was ever a time myself or any of his friends or family invited him to an event, that his standard reply wasn’t, “I’m Available.” But his “available” meant so much more though. You didn’t just get Tom as a “polite, I need to make an appearance type” available. You got the essence of his heart and his soul. With soul being the keyword. Tom lived his life and honored his faith through every pore of his body. I have often heard it stated, that it is a person’s actions not words that define their legacy. This was the epitome of our Tom.

My cousin, Jimmy, and I had the blessing of going to Ireland with Tom in October of 2014. It truly was an experience of a lifetime. We were able to find his grandparents and our great-grandparents home they emigrated from. I have a picture of the three of us together in front of that stone structure. What a blessing! When we were coming through customs, as we were leaving Ireland, I had Tom’s passport and declaration card with me. The counter was high, and Tom was using a wheelchair (which he rarely would do, but agreed to in the airport because of the distance in walking.) His wheelchair was low, and down from the counter. The custom’s clerk saw the birthdate of 1/22/12 on his passport. She looked at me and said, “oh, you’re traveling with a two-year-old.” I said, “no, I’m traveling with a 102-year-old.” She had the same reaction as everyone did. “Oh my Mr. Horn, you don’t look 102!” She must have shared our story with our flight attendant, because as the attendant was going through the cabin checking seatbelts, etc. she leaned down and whispering asked me if Tom would mind if she announced his age on the plane. I told her not at all, that he would love it! After all the safety checks, she then stated, “we have a very important person on board with us today. Mr. Horn in seat 29A will be 103 years old in January.” Everyone clapped, and I do believe that everyone on the plane at some time, during that 7 hour flight, stopped by to shake his hand or ask him a question. But one question resonates with me still. He was asked what was his secret to such a ripe age? His answer, “I’ve had good family and friends, good health, and a good church.” That was Tom Horn. His family, his friends, his health, and mainly his church!!!

I have been identified by several different adjectives and descriptions through my life, but the one that makes me the proudest is when someone will say to me, “Oh, you are Tom Horn’s niece.” Yes, I most definitely am Tom Horn’s niece. We are his nieces, his nephews, Betty Ann, Mike, Jimmy, Patricia, Sharon, Suzanne, Ruth Marie, Kara and his great nieces and nephews, Lea Ann, Jimmy, Kevin, Pam, Carrie, Angela, Whitney, John Michael, Maritsa, Debbie, Cindy, Beth, Brent, Pam, Donnie, David Michael, and his great great nieces and nephews. Jerri and her children Eric, Amy, and Bonita, whom he considered his daughter and grandchildren. We are his family! We are his friends! We are his church! We are his legacy. And he is oh so proud of that.

I have a calendar on my desk of quotes from St. Mother Theodore Guerin, the founder of the Sisters of Providence. When I flipped my calendar over, when I returned to work on Monday, the quote from January 3, the date Tom went home, stated:

“The greatest in heaven is the one who on Earth has been the servant of all.” How fitting, how wonderfully fitting!

This world is a better place because for 103 years and 346 days, Tom Horn walked amongst us. There will never be another. While we are heart broken to lose the patriarch of our family, our beloved uncle, our beloved friend, we need only shut our eyes and open our ears and our hearts. I’m sure we will hear the resounding trumpets that most definitely played when he arrived home! Rest peacefully, Tom. You were, you are, and you will always be greatly, greatly loved! And, yes, Tom, in your spectacular honor, we will always be AVAILABLE!!

Defiance!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 29 Dec 2015 17:30:00 +0000

I have heard it called maintenance, I have heard it called guarding, and I have heard it called protecting. While all of these are good words, they just don’t seem to have a strong enough feel for what I have experienced the past year. I like to look at it as pure defiance. I DEFY myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ pound weight loss!!!! On December 29, 2014 I recorded a 70 pound weight loss. Since then, I have DEFIED myself or anyone else from messing with that loss.

You may wonder why I say myself or anyone else. While I need to battle myself frequently, it is almost easier for me to take care of myself, as it is, for me to silence the “anyone else.” I have worked hard, struggled, cried, enjoyed, been frustrated, been encouraged, and basically all emotions in between in losing my 70+ pounds. Now I am hearing from, I’m sure with good intentions, folks that want to say, “Go ahead and eat that piece of cheesecake. You’ve earned that right.” "You deserve it." Or “You can have that Nacho Mountain off the menu, look how good you’ve done for so long. One cheat won’t hurt.” Or, my favorite, “You can’t stay on a diet for the rest of your life.”

What??????? Seriously?????? I’m not on a diet. I refuse to call it a diet. I have never called it a diet. It is a wellness plan, and I have retrained my body, mind, and soul that it is a wellness plan. It is what I do to stay healthy!!!!!!!! It is what I do to feel good!!!!!! It is what I do to maintain my physical activity capabilities!!!! And, yes, I can and will do this for the rest of my life. My answer to all the “you deserves” is, I do deserve! I do deserve! I do deserve!! I deserve to stay the course, eat healthy, exercise, and enjoy the rest of my life in a healthy manner. That is what I deserve. NOT A PIECE OF CHEESECAKE!!!!!

Here is what “I defy myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss” looks like …

April 7, 2014 Weight 199.5
December 29, 2014 Weight 129.5

December 30, 2014 thru December 29, 2015 …

Physical Activity Calories: 154,225

Veggies Eaten: 1626

Fruits Eaten: 1071.5

Lean Proteins Eaten: 495.5

Whole Grains Eaten: 256.75

HMR Shakes: 275.5

HMR Entrees: 151

That is my “box”. My “box” daily is 7 to 12 fruits and vegetables, 2 lean proteins, one whole grain. Add physical activity calories to that, and yes, my nemesis … water!

Over the past year, I have struggled with what I want that magical number to look like on the scale. Even though I feel wonderful, my clothes fit perfectly, and I’m 2 sizes smaller than I was in high school, I still covet a certain number on the scale. I have been blessed to not only maintain and guard my 70 pound weight loss, but I have added a few more pounds to it over the past year. Depending on whether the scale is being a brat or not, I have now lost between 75 and 77 pounds. That elusive 80 is hanging there. I may never get there … it doesn’t matter!

Did I wake up on December 30, 2014 and say, “I’m going to do 154,225 Physical Activity calories for a year to maintain this weight loss?” Or did I say, “I’m going to have to eat 1626 vegetables to maintain my weight loss”? Did I say, “I’m eating 3 fruits today, only 1068.5 left to go!” Of course I didn’t. What I did was get up each and every day, eat THAT DAY, what I knew was healthy for me, and exercise THAT DAY, what I knew was a good workout to keep my body moving. When I looked back at the numbers at the end of the year, the totals spoke for themselves. It is my wellness plan. It is my new healthy life … and I absolutely defy myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss!

The other numbers that reflect this wellness plan are what I deserve:

BMI Before: 43.17
BMI Now: 27.16

Glucose Before: 120
Glucose Now: 97

AlC Before: 6.2
AlC Now: 5.2

Blood pressure medicine cut in half.

Cholesterol medicine cut by three-quarters.

Walked/Ran TWO HALF MARATHONS!!!

Walked multiple 5K, 10K, and 10 mile races.

Fitbit lifetime steps (since starting my wellness program) 4, 995, 080. That is FOUR MILLION, NINE HUNDRED, NINETY FIVE THOUSAND, 80 STEPS!!!!!!! My Fitbit is blowing up!!!!!

My goal for 2016 is to run, not walk a 10K. I bet I get it!!!!

I have been blessed to have many along the way as support, encouragement, and even shoulders to cry on. My mentor, coach, personal trainer, and friend, Brandon Howard, has, I believe, truly saved my life. God truly put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. It’s time for me to honor that grace extended to me, and I try to pay it forward at every opportunity!

So, I DEFY myself or anyone else from messing with my 70+ weight loss! Everyone is right … I most certainly do DESERVE it!!! But, I know what I DESERVE and in what manner, and it is that which I will defy myself or anyone else to mess with!!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Tue, 22 Dec 2015 18:17:00 +0000

We Celebrate Him!

As Christmas draws nearer and is only a few days away, I think it serves us well to stop and reflect how we celebrate His birth every day!!!

In the sunrise, in the sunset we celebrate Him!
When we hear the birds, feel the breeze, smell the scent of a field of wild flowers, we celebrate Him!
When we count each individual star, admire a butterfly, walk in the snow, we celebrate Him!
When we see the expanse of an ocean, the peaks of snow covered mountains, and a brook trickling through a valley, we celebrate Him!

In the birth of a new baby, or the passing of an elder, we celebrate Him!
When we trudge through a busy day, or laugh when we are at play, we celebrate Him!
Through tears and through laughter, we celebrate Him!

When we break bread with friends and family, we celebrate Him!
When we comfort a loved one, tend the sick, feed the poor, we celebrate Him!

When we recognize and embrace each individual, as made in His image and likeness, we celebrate Him!
When we lock arms and stand strong in our faith, we celebrate Him!
When we join our prayers to others, we celebrate Him!
When we live every day to our fullest capacity, in His name, we celebrate Him!
When we simply love, we celebrate Him!

When I celebrate each of you, I celebrate Him!

Conflictions ...

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:36:00 +0000

She has changed

In the months and the passings,

She has changed

Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box.

Colorful hues replaced with a soft shroud of white.

She has changed

Confidence has edged its muscle into her once timid space.

Fear rears its ugly head like shining eyes in a night sky. Visiting when least expected, and for a time strangling like binding twine.

She has changed

Days are long but vitalizing,

The evenings short and wreaking of trepidation.

Tick tock of the passing hours.

Happiness swings to confusion like the pendulum of the clock. Tick tock.

She has changed

Her strength soars as if on eagle’s wings, and her weakness of body, mind, and soul abounds.

She has changed

Fullness of life and energy with a sky lit with sunshine and puffed clouds.

Loneliness takes her to her knees.

Her vulnerability she wears as a badge,

Longing a part of her soul.

Her heart fills slowly, as if snow accumulating in a flowerless, empty window box. A heart full of change.

She has changed

Different but the same.

Sit-Up's and Burpees and Sandbags ... Oh My!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Fri, 25 Sep 2015 19:48:00 +0000

The title of this post may sound a little bit like a line from the Wizard of Oz. That is not by accident. But, as I tell this story, you will understand how I would rather face the Wicked Witch of the West and the Flying Monkeys, than to think about repeating this particular workout in the future. But something, just something tells me that I will face it again and will ACCOMPLISH it again!!

Our normal training group bounced into the gym on our normal workout on a Wednesday with Brandon. I’m always the one that either, before we get there, or while we are warming up asks, “What are we doing tonight?” My answer this particular night was, “sandbags.” Hmmmm… Sandbags … sounds interesting. But then we all see his little sly smile, and the rubbing of the palms together, and the chuckle going up the stairs to our workout area. Oh my!!!

We proceed into our room we often get to use for our workouts. The overhead fans are on, the exercise music is playing, and we see our floor mats and SANDBAGS ready and placed for us. We have never seen the sandbags before. Just a little sand-filled long tubular bag, with a handle on it similar to a gym bag handle. A sandbag! Brandon then begins to demonstrate that we are going to hold these sandbags, end to end initially. We are going to do sumo squats first, and when we come to standing position out of the sumo squat, we are going to press the sandbag over our heads. Kind of like an arm press with weight. Well allrighty then! Sounds pretty simple. And remember, his famous saying, “you can do anything for 30 seconds.” So we start out with our sandbag, squat, press, squat, press, squat press … 30 seconds!! After about 15 seconds, that sandbag was beginning to get on my nerves. He tells us to “rest.” We’ve heard this word many times before, and it always sounds like a gift from heaven when it is heard … just sayin’. So four rounds of the squats and overhead presses with the sandbags. Yes, the arms, quads, and bootie are burning a bit.

Not to be outdone by the sumo squats and presses, Brandon then demonstrates that we are going to do either a regular burpee or a reverse burpee, and yes holding the SANDBAG. Burpees have to be one of the hardest exercises ever, let alone with a SANDBAG. And, yes, you are correct in your assumption … four rounds of 30 seconds each. Now, not only are the arms, quads, and bootie burning, but now we wheeze, and huff and puff, and appear to be an asthmatic in the final throws of a major attack. Just a little cardio to get our bodies going!!! Mine feels like it has already went.

Now we journey to the track, and you guessed it, with our SANDBAGS. Our direction now is to run, RUN, a lap carrying our sandbags. We can carry them by the handles, we can carry them on our shoulders, or, we can carry them like footballs. Doesn’t matter how we carry them. Just carry them. Then to add insult to injury, after we RUN this lap, we are to stop and do triceps curls holding a sandbag in each hand, by the handle. Well, let me tell you … all that sand sinks to the bottom, and you feel like you are carrying and lifting the weight of the world!!! I might mention, that I did ask a few times, “How much do these weigh?” My answer, “not sure.”

The first lap, I carried my sandbags by the handles. Oh my!!! I could have just had easily drug a dead body along with me. We got all kinds of sympathy from others just walking or jogging the track. Many looked at us and said, “Bless your hearts.” Yes, indeed, bless them!!

I was so happy after the first lap, because I was so tired from running that I actually looked forward to the triceps curls. My mistake. Triceps curls with SANDBAGS are the demon!!! I didn’t know anything could hurt like that. That first lap complete, we are then told, “first lap down, two more to go.” My response, “Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? Oh, yes, seriously!

The second lap, I tried putting the sandbags on my shoulders. Well my shoulders are about 3 inches from neck to end, and I made it all of about 25 yards before they both fell off. Now my sandbags are in the middle of the track and I’m trying to heft them back into my arms. I think I should have gotten extra credit for this extra maneuver, but I don’t think I did!! I approach the end of the second lap with one sandbag slung over my forearm, and the other one dangling from my hand. What a site!!! Thirty more seconds of triceps curls, and then one more lap.

The third lap, I just draped both of them over my forearms, and drug my poor tired body around the track for one more lap. Then one more set of triceps curls.

Sounds like cool down time to me. But, nope!! Back to our little room. Now we are going to work on our core and abs. Oh joy!!! Down on our backs we go for flutter kicks, yes holding our SANDBAG over our chests with arms extended. Four rounds of 30 seconds each. I’m trying to remember that I can do anything for 30 seconds!!! Then followed by full sit-ups, again holding our SANDBAG in our hands with arms extended with each sit-up. Four more rounds of 30 seconds each.

For the grand finale, we are asked to put the sandbag on our shins, legs straight, lay flat, and do leg raises. I'm not sure, and I don't remember when someone nailed my feet to the floor, but they surely did!! I could NOT MOVE MY LEGS!!! No amount of effort or grunting or groaning helped me get my legs off the floor. Not even one-quarter of an inch. A mere one-quarter of an inch!!!! I'm told that just trying was working, so just keep trying!!! That, I did!

Workout complete!!! Good job!!!

Now, I’m one of those folks that avoid a scale at all cost. But I was determined to find out just how much those sandbags weigh. I happily jumped on the scale, weighed myself, then got off, picked up my sandbags, and reweighed. I weighed 20 pounds more!! So each sandbag was 10 pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but believe me, it was AMAZINGLY A LOT!!!!

But here is the real story behind this story … It seemed absolutely ominous to us, as we were doing this workout, the weight of those sandbags. They did weigh a total of 20 pounds. But last year, I carried not only 20 pounds around that track, I carried 77 pounds around that track. Not only around that track, but each and every day of my life, for 15 plus years, I carried 77 pounds around with me. Yes, that is my total weight loss to date. So, when I have those days that the scale is being a brat and showing a little gain, or when I want nachos, or candy, or egg rolls, or pizza, or meatballs … I think about those SANDBAGS and that workout designed for us by Brandon. I didn’t think those sandbags were my friends, and I thought Brandon had really challenged us, but now I realize they are both my friends . The sandbags put into perspective the unhealthy weight I had carried for far too long, and with Brandon’s guidance, my body has very healthily and very efficiently been taken to a new level.

God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Sit-up's and burpees and sandbags … oh my!!! I’ve never been happier!!

Not Always The Real Story

noreply@blogger.com (PearlsGirl) — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 15:59:00 +0000

The scale doesn’t always tell the story …

Gravitaphobia/Gravitophobia ! Have you ever heard of the word? I hadn’t either until I wanted to write this blog post regarding my fear of the scale. I googled, of course, to find out if there was a true phobia, and who knew? I find both of these words, actually in two separate articles, by the same author, Yoni Freedhoff, M.D. It is described in his article as the irrational fear of the scale and, therefore, avoidance of said scale. I may not be in that particular spot, but I am hovering along the edges. Maybe, mini-gravitaphobia! He speaks in his article of people that will not make eye contact with their bathroom scale, when they go into the room. I don’t have to worry about that. My scale is buried in my walk-in closet under my shoes. And for anyone who knows me, that would mean it can’t be easily or readily seen under my pile of shoes. It would probably take at least 2 hours to shovel it out, and think of all the exercise credit I would get for that maneuver? I think there may be another name for shoe addiction, but that is for another time!!

When I started my Wellness Journey, I of course, had to weigh in. Even though embarrassed by my weight, the first night was ever so easy to do so, as was the second week, the third week, and maybe even into the fourth week. But, I found as I progressed through my journey, I became more and more anxious. I was lucky enough to lose 5 pounds the first week, then 2, then 3, then 1.5. Even small increments were victories. But I found, as I progressed, I became more and more anxious each time I weighed, for fear that one weigh-in may show an increase. Any increase, any increment of an increase put the fear of disaster in my mind, and it hovered close to the skin like needles pricking each week. Our Health Educator, Brandon, often speaks to these scale numbers. He says over and over again that our bodies do very strange things, and that the number on the scale is simply put, just that!! A number on the scale. He reiterates over and over again that as long as we do what we are supposed to do, eat the healthy foods, the right combinations, exercise the way we should, drink a healthy portion of water, and get adequate sleep, that the number on the scale is simply a number. That number may go up, it may go down, it may go up again, but it will always correct itself, if we stay the course! I don’t know why this is so hard for me to embrace, but all I can say is that it is extremely hard for me. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …

I went 32 weeks in my journey, before I stepped on the scale and showed a gain. A “gain” … yes, a “gain” of … THREE-QUARTERS OF A POUND!!! Sounds miniscule, doesn’t it? I don’t like to get upset in front of people. It was ever so apparent by my facial expression that I was upset, and when others tried to talk with me, all I could say was “don’t be nice to me.” Trying to be nice anyway, they were, and well, it resulted in tears, and feelings of “oh my gosh, all this weight is coming back.” I was almost inconsolable. As much as my brain knew I was just fine, my heart was broken, I felt that ever fear of past failures, and to be quite honest, was really ticked off because I hadn’t done anything to gain anything!!!! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …

My wellness class is always on Monday night. That is the worst day in the week to weigh! I don’t “cheat” on the weekend, but let’s face it … my schedule is completely different on the weekend than it is Monday through Friday. During the work week, I exercise at the same time in the morning, eat breakfast at the same time, have my mid-morning snack at the same time, eat lunch at the same time, have my mid afternoon snack at the same time, exercise in the late afternoon at the same time, have dinner at the same time, and have my bedtime snack at the same time. Sound regimented. Well, yes it is!!!!! But on Saturday and Sunday, even though I eat the same foods, the times are different for everything. I often will not even start eating until later in the afternoon, and stop eating later at night. My sleep habits are completely different on the weekend. So Monday rolls around for weigh-in, and what should I expect? I expect to lose weight or stay the same, but that doesn’t always happen. Then, here comes the fear again. But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …

Because of my fears, Brandon in his wisdom, asked me to do a little study for our class. He asked me to weigh myself for 4 days throughout a week, and to try to weigh myself every hour or so. I started on a Sunday, and weighed myself Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I tried to weigh as close to every hour as I could. I even had a scale in my office at work. What a roller coaster!!! I weighed upon awakening, before exercise, after exercise, before eating, after eating, and before bedtime. My weight fluctuated throughout any given day as much as 7 pounds. SEVEN POUNDS!!!! So, why in the world am I stressing over one-half pound, one pound, or whatever on any given Monday night? Another point, with this daily weight documentation, was what my weight did with stress. Brandon had told me, in particular, and the class as a whole on several occasions that cortisol can do crazy things with weight. My worry, fear, whatever you want to call it … was probably making my cortisol go nuts every Monday night!! Sure enough, on one of my days of weighing every hour, I was particulary stressed, so I purposefully weighed. I had weighed one hour before, and when I weighed during my stress time, I had GAINED THREE POUNDS!!! One hour later, it was right back down. Point proven! But, the scale doesn’t always tell the story …

Even though I have gotten braver, as I like to call it, with my weigh-ins, I still have my moments of dejection, fright, anger, grit my teeth, keep my mouth shut moments when I weigh. On my last weigh-in, I showed a TWO POUND “gain”. I looked at Brandon and said, “but I didn’t do anything.” His immediate response, “that’s why you shouldn’t be worried.” The right words, at the right time, with the right smile, and the right firmness. Just go sit down, Sharon!!!

I’ve said many times during this post … but, the scale doesn’t always tell the story. The scale certainly helps write the story, but here is the REAL story:

77 pounds lost!!! In mostly no bigger increments than 1.5 or 2 pounds per week. To quote another success story, “celebrate every quarter pound lost, but for those quarters, you wouldn’t be where you are today.” So I celebrate my 77 pounds lost!!

Completely off my cholesterol medication. I have a familial tendency for this, so I may not be able to maintain on my own without medication. But I celebrate that I was taking 20 mgs. of Lipitor daily, then 10 mgs., then 5 mgs., and now none!!!

I have reduced my blood pressure medication to one-half the original dosage, and may be tapered completely off of it in a few weeks. I celebrate that I am able to reduce and possibly stop this medication!

My exercise level has gone from ZERO to HIGH INTENSITY on several days each week and moderate exercise daily. I celebrate the new-found movement of my body. It is a beautiful feeling!

I feel younger than I have in years. I could choose to beat myself up for being unhealthy for so long, but I choose to celebrate my health and how I feel every morning when my feet hit the floor.

I look different ! I celebrate when people see me, who haven’t seen me in a while. I first get the stare of “I know I should know you.” Then I get the “oh my, I wouldn’t have known you.” I celebrate it is the same me, but I just look different. It’s the difference of looking healthy!! How beautiful is that?

I now can go to mostly any restaurant or any event and make an informed decision of the right choice. I celebrate the knowledge of this decision-making, but mostly the freedom that this knowledge affords me. My decisions are better today than they were yesterday. I celebrate my new found freedom!!

I feel braver and more competent in my skin. With each step, of each day, of each month, and now into more than a full year, I get braver with each “success.” I celebrate my bravery!!

And most importantly, when I started this journey and was asked why I wanted to join this program, my immediate response was, “I’m just so tired of going to bed every night and being so disappointed with myself.” I celebrate now when I lay head to pillow at night and I’m not disappointed with myself!! I’ve learned it is true, that you need to love yourself first! I celebrate that first!!!

So these are the real stories. The scale doesn’t always tell the story. It is a small part of a journey that I will be forever grateful to have taken and continue to take. I will forever celebrate and have gratitude to my support team and the folks that have taken this journey by my side. I love them all dearly. They are gifted by God and grace-filled, and they have shared their gifts and grace with me. I celebrate their grace!

My God put me in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. I lay head to pillow at night with no disappointment but with prayers of huge gratitude. That, my friends, is not only the real story, it is the ULTIMATE STORY!!