Forget about mind expanding drugs and meditation. Just give your left brain a good whack with a hammer.

Proof that a dog can indeed be a man's best friend - or a simply a side effect of affluenza?

We're currently spending an incredible 150 million pounds annually cleaning chewing gum off the streets in this country.

However, thanks to this deceptively simple idea, this is all about to change.

I'm convinced we haven't seen the last from the genius behind this inspired effort - in fact I wouldn't be surprised to see this person fast-tracked into central government.

Taken on Westbourne Grove less than 72 hours after Beckham & co failed to qualify for Euro 2008 by losing 2-3 to Croatia at Wembley, I think this picture quite accurately illustrates most people's perception of football in this country.

Not because it's in the gutter and seemingly beyond repair but because it has always been so strongly inflated.

Birmingham City Council's introduction of Winterval in 1998 might be seen by some as an attempt to secularise Christmas.

(For me it just represents rare evidence that there are countries outside Scandinavia with too many people working in the public sector.)

This year's Hamleys Christmas lights seem to have moved things on a bit with their Lucifer-inspired downpointing pentagrams.

It must be added that, according to Wikipedia, these are "not necessarily" satanist symbols.

Presumably in the same way the swastika is not necessarily a Nazi symbol?

It's widely known that the London plane tree was amongst the pioneers of the now all too familiar 'camo'-style.

On Bassett Road yesterday I came across yet another example of the platanus acerifolia's astonishing adaptability to fashion.

In London these days the spectacle of autumn is often accompanied by the noise from petrol engined leaf blowers.

Unsurprisingly these things have been banned in places like Beverly Hills for decades.

Personally I don't like bans, I'd prefer someone like James Dyson to invent one that sounds good.

Must have a word with Kensington & Chelsea Council about that inconveniently positioned lamppost just off the Portobello Road.

Normally I avoid it elegantly, but was not so successful after last Friday's triple gin & tonics Under the Westway.

The fracture, clearly visible on today's CT scan, would make any plastic surgeon worth his fat wages rub his rubber gloved hands.

But I'm currently in Norway, land of the vikings, and no such squeaky noises filled my ears.

Instead the consultant paused a bit before saying "Are you a model?" in a voice so a dead pan I couldn't tell whether or not his question was a rhetorical one.

A quick glance in the mirror reassured me it was.

It looks like I might have to dedicate a whole section of this blog to shots from Gloucester Terrace.

This evening the light was pinker that I've ever seen it in this country, almost as good as Los Angeles - or indeed Stavanger.

Who needs a free bus pass when you have your own wheels? (Ok - fair enough, a bus might be useful if you need to shift some furniture.)

According to Matthew, in Holland - unlike here - people actually spend time in their front gardens. That didn't surprise me, it's another example of the very public way they like to live their lives.

During a visit to Amsterdam a few years ago I remember how hardly anyone have curtains or blinds, for example. Apparently they find it highly suspicious if anyone feels the need to obscure the view through their windows.

You may have noticed that the front garden pictured above isn't Dutch - nor is the girl. She's from Putney.

Matthew mentioned it when we saw it as we walked down Portobello market the other day - but I've forgotten.

Apparently it's what you wear in a 'clean room', a laboratory or somewhere else where a stray hair or skin particle would ruin things.

Great for committing the perfect crime, I guess. But not so useful when you need to get away unnoticed.

The C10 between Elephant and Castle and Victoria does not run quite as infrequently as this picture would suggest.

The lady only waited a few minutes, and when the bus pulled away I discovered to my surprise that she had in fact taken the chair with her on board.

There's no doubt we have a lot to learn from the older generation.

Like not wasting money on expensive removal firms when you have a free bus pass.