lok | einde | la fin | τέλος | В конце | نهاية | Samer Farha

“The End”

Part of any endeavor that we start on is having a passion and the drive to see it through to the end. From time to time, though, we find ourselves in situations of our making that we no longer wish to be in. Quitting, though, is often the last thing we do. We keep on keeping, soldiering through it, hoping the bits we don’t like will magically change to things we do. Eventually, we are done. Relieved, we look back and pronounce it "good enough."

"Good enough" might be good enough for the government. It might be good enough when compromise is required. It might be good enough for a anything not life changing or impacting. But "good enough" should never be good enough for things born of passion: exploring, art, or inspiration.

Part of any endeavor is knowing when to quit. It is knowing when a project has gone from inspired to repetitive; from exploration to familiarity; from art to fish wrapper. More importantly than knowing it is time to quit is the act of quitting, itself.

This is the 278th picture in my 365 Days Project. I had intended to explore myself, to become more comfortable in front of the camera, and to produce, along the way, some imagery that one could call art (if one were so inclined). I’ve accomplished some of that, and I’m happy with the parts that reached beyond “good enough.” The problem is, “good enough” is what this project has become.

This project should have ended a while ago. I even realized it a while back: I didn’t want to direct people to my Flickr account for fear that would see the mediocrity this has become. Repetitive shots, taken poorly, with little thought. That wasn’t the idea at the beginning.

This project hasn’t sapped my creativity, but it has mirrored my lack of enthusiasm. I have thousands of pictures shot over the last few months that need editing. I’m not really motivated to do so, and part of it a feeling of mediocrity. Recently, though, I had the opportunity to do a shoot with a model. Her reaction to the finished photos left me speechless, and has certainly reminded me that I can still be inspired when I decide I want to be.

I don’t know where I’m going photographically, but I do know that I want to distance myself from this level of mediocre. I want to go back to basics, and to shoot those things that I enjoy. I want to be creative again, and I don’t think I can do that with this particular subject. With any luck, this is the next chapter of photography for me. Stick around, it might even be good.

Reflecting | by Samer Farha

But there is one particular Memorial Day that I happen to be reflecting on, tonight. Twelve years ago, on Memorial Day 1997, I was driving on one of my favorite winding roads around 1:30 am. I was coming up on a sharp curve, going the speed limit, when I noticed lights from an oncoming car. I went to dim my brights, and in the process didn’t control my car well through the turn.

The front right wheel went off the road, quickly followed by the whole car. If I close my eyes, I can still remember every moment going by in slow motion. The realization that something was terribly wrong, followed by the gut wrenching knowledge that I was about to die, followed, not quickly enough, by the knowledge that I had survived. How do I get out of a car now resting on the driver’s side door? How do I get home? How do I explain this to the insurance company? And then, the panic when I smelled the burning and felt the cold liquid along my leg.

It all turned out okay: The burning smell came from hair on my arm, singed by the airbag; the liquid was not gasoline, but my diet coke; the police made sure I got close enough to town, and a friend made sure I got home. I had minor injuries, and even went in to work a few hours later.

But while the physical and monetary distress only lasted a few weeks, the emotional turmoil was great. At times, I described the experience as life changing, recommending everyone “has to experience something like this, once.” I stand by those words.

In many ways, the man I was before the accident, and the man I am now, are the same. Troubled in one way or the other about relationships, about my weight, about what I was doing in life, and yet, I wasn’t doing anything about any of it. The accident changed everything.

After the accident, though, every moment became precious. You just don’t know when you will die. It’s both a scary thought and very freeing, at the same time. Caution can be thrown to the wind, for the scary things are just not as scary as dying in a turned over exploded car. Carpe diem became more than a feel good motto — it became a way of life.

I did the things I was terribly scared of doing. It cost me a lot in terms of friendships and emotional pain down the road, and I might not have done the those things in the best possible way. I hope, like all things we do well or poorly, I’ve learned from that behavior.

I’m turning forty years old this year. Almost since my birthday last year, I’ve been thinking about the past and the future. I never thought I’d live to see 40, and I might still not. When I was a kid, 30 was unthinkable. When I was 30, 40 still seemed so far away. Forty is now knocking, and I’ve reverted to being the guy I was at 27.

For my 365 project, I had wanted to take a picture at the site of the accident. But I didn’t plan right, and didn’t have the time to do it before the light faded. I find myself, after a stellar year of travel and making new friends, missing old friends and despising sitting on my sofa because I’m feeling lazy.

I need some motivation in my life. There are too many projects, from collaborative blogs to photography, from weight loss to cooking, from friends to lovers, that I let slide for too long. I feel like a car that needs a tune up, an overhaul, a bit of work.

I forget, sometimes, how much fun I can have if I just seize the day. Do what I want, regardless of who wants to come, regardless of what’s on TV. Stop watching Top Gear and get out and get into top gear.

I think that’s good advice, mid-life crisis or not.

Pointed | by Samer Farha

What a stunningly pretty day Sunday was. This is one of my favorite shots of the Washington Monument that I’ve ever taken. And this is a gratuitous shot of the cherry blossoms:

Blossoms on Blue | by Samer Farha

Old Executive | by Samer Farha

The Old Executive Office Building, right next to the White House, is one of my favorite buildings in DC. It has, simply, the best and most interesting architecture.

Love | by Samer Farha

You see, I’d met this fun couple, Kevin and Lindsay, because of Flickr. I’d admired Lindsay’s photography, and coupled with her amazing smile I’d made her a contact on the site. I noticed she would post a few pictures of beer, here and there, and that Kevin would review them. Turns out he’s the beer geek and she’s the photo geek.

Victory Lap | by Samer Farha

I leapt at the chance. I was honored that they both thought highly enough of my photography to want me to do this, and I’m always up for helping surprise someone. Those that know me well, know what sort of curmudgeon I can be, and that romance isn’t exactly my forte. But there’s something about these two — they’re so right together. So perfect together. I had to do it.

We got another Flickr photographer, Michelle, to join us as well. Her and I planned to meet up at my office and walk down there and plan our attack. Much to our luck, Michelle’s husband Ron had dropped her off, and agreed to come with us and to use my second camera to take some wide shots.

Michelle and Ron didn’t really have to hide out — Lindsay had never met them, and wouldn’t recognize them. I took up my position in the trees nearer Madison Drive and had my big 70-200mm lens at the ready. I felt a bit like a private investigator. Or a stalker. I was certainly expecting the police to come over and ask why I was hiding behind the trees taking pictures, though that never came to be.

Will You Marry Me? | by Samer Farha

She said yes, of course!

Echoes of “Oh, my God!” were heard for a good long time afterwards.

And Lindsay didn’t have any idea we were there (even though she looked directly at me at least once). The look on her face when Kevin pointed out that she was on Candid Camera was almost as priceless as when he brought out the ring!

Thanks, guys, for having me be part of your special moment, and may your smiles and love never fade!

The entire set of pictures that I took (along with the wide angle ones that Ron took) can be found here. Kevin’s story of how it all unfolded can be read here.

Purple Eggs | by Samer Farha

This is a simple and yet delightful and very tasty breakfast. The simple addition of a spice can radically alter both the taste and appearance of your morning eggs and amp them up a bit.

If you don’t want to use bacon, skip to cooking the eggs, and use a combination of butter and olive oil. You’ll need three or four strips of bacon per serving. Place the bacon on a metal cooling rack, and place that on a half sheet pan. Place the pan in a cool oven and set the temperature to 400° F. When the oven reaches the temperature, start checking on the bacon every couple of minutes. Doneness will depend on how you like your bacon and how thick cut it was.

Purple Eggs and Bacon | by Samer Farha

Carefully remove the pan, and drain some of the bacon grease into a waiting 8″ frying pan. Make sure you have a thin coating over the surface of the pan, and dump the remaining fat. Place the pan over a medium-low flame and sprinkle some salt and sumac (not too much, maybe a teaspoonful).

Crack two eggs in the pan and let set over a low flame. Too many people cook eggs too hot and wind up with a burnt or rubbery texture. Try and avoid that. Once the eggs are close to setting up the way you want, hit them with some more salt and pepper, then sprinkle about a tablespoon or so of sumac over them. Don’t over do the salt, as most sumac has salt in the mix.

Serve with the bacon and enjoy. This works particularly well with ful mudamas (mashed fava beans), another Lebanese breakfast tradition.

"I Am Not The Sushi You Seek!" | by Samer Farha

I’ve narrowed down my choices for DCist Exposed 2009 to these 11 pictures. I’d love your help in determining which three should be submitted.

I have a very strong preference for one of the pictures, and a less strong preference for two others.

If you want inspiration, check out the Exposed winners for 2008 and 2007.

First, go view the set as a slideshow. Then vote by any of the following methods:

Pick one and favorite it.
Pick more than one:

• Tag them in order.
• E-mail me with names or links.
• Tweet’em in order.
• Leave a comment here.

It’ll be interesting to see what people like compared to what I like.

Closing date is Wednesday, mid-dayish. Or whenever I make up my mind.

*DCist writers and Exposed judges, your vote counts twice.

"Reflections on Art | by Samer Farha

Going all the way back to my days in television, I’ve been more interested in being behind the camera than being in front of it and a large part of the reason is that I don’t really like pictures of me.

I suppose most people at some point in their lives wind up disliking something about their self image. People don’t like hearing their own voice, for instance. They don’t like seeing their picture, even when others consider it art. God help them if they spot themselves on television.

I don’t know enough about psychology (and, frankly, neither do the psychologists) to tell you why this is. But people do become more comfortable with more exposure. When you do radio or television, even if it is rarely, you have to get used to seeing and hearing yourself. It’s like walking in front of the mirror. You get used to it, even if you don’t totally approve of what you see.

As I’ve befriended more photographers, and as I’ve gone to more and more Flickr outings, I find that I’ve had to become more comfortable with my image. Photography outings are as much about the portrait taking opportunities as they are about discussions on art or the drinking of beer. Pictures of me pop up here and there on the site, and I find that I cringe less and less.

Partly, this is because I’m more comfortable with who I am than I’ve ever been in my life. Partly, this is because of the “mirror effect”. Partly, it helps that many of the photographers are very talented and make me look good. But, on top of that, I also get to see more than a single view of me. Rather than one static picture portraying whatever state I was in, I can see changes over time. Like a documentary, but lived out over several months.

Because of my comfort, a smidgen of narcissism, and because I want to document my life over this year of change, I’ve decided to start doing a 365 project. The concept is simple: take and post a self image once a day for a year. I won’t always make the deadline, but I will try and make it up.

This is going to be a year of change and reflection: the new president and his agenda; work is becoming more challenging; plans for a more sustained push into photography and programming; my 40th birthday. It all adds up, and it all warrants documenting. Piece by piece.

Cool Evening | by Samer Farha

My set of Berlin pictures is now up.

Lit Up | by Samer Farha

Up next will be Belgium, with pictures from both Brussels and Bruges.

Electric Clouds | by Samer Farha

One of the things I love most about this time of year are the storms that roll in and the leave with huge gusts of wind. The low pressure gives way to the high and creates these amazingly blue skies. And in that period before the skies get all clear, the clouds are at their photogenic best.