I’ve got three more nights in Hong Kong, and only one with Aaron. My happy hacker is in Beijing right now, oiling the gears on his networking machine. And so the world turns.

My younger brother, Joe, just left us after a comfortable five-week visit. Joe flew west as Aaron headed north today. And I stay here to consolidate, pack, store, and get sentimental with memories.

What I won’t miss about my life in Hong Kong:

1. mosquitoes
2. 95 percent humidity
3. personal space boundaries (or lack there of) in public areas
4. grumpy faces and the general gravity toward work, work, work
5. the air that drifts from China

What I will miss:

1. using my feet (not to push the gas pedal)
2. healthy food choices and juice shops
3. Minda
4. awesome fashion
5. foreign accents
6. the most amazing city skyline in the world
7. markets
8. the ten minute walk to the beach
9. the ability to say “I live on a tropical island in Hong Kong”

I’m astounded that my lists have weighed out as they have, considering my general grumpiness toward Hong Kong. I’m just full of surprises. And here’s to hoping that the next few days will be without surprises and neatly packed up and put away. I just may be coming back in a half year. And until then, we have a nice British guy subletting our place whose coming from Brunei, a country still run by a sultan. What a world we live in.

---

Our extended holiday away from Hong Kong allows us to offer some lucky person or two the chance to rent our flat on Lamma Island. The apartment will be available for up to 6 months starting in July at HK$7,000 per month and comes fully furnished. Located in quiet Tai Wan Old Village, the apartment is approximately half-way between the Yung Shue Wan ferry pier and the public beach (see map). With three bedrooms, it’s perfect for a small family.

Apartment Features

• 700 square feet
• 1st floor (nice families above and below)
• 3 bedrooms: 2 double beds, one single bed
• 1 bathroom with tub
• Balcony with green view
• Utilities setup including internet (wifi router installed)
• Fully furnished including:
  • 3 beds
  • Sofa
  • Dining table
  • Bookshelves and closets
  • Kitchen cookery, dishes, fridge, etc.
  • Office desk and more

We’ve really enjoyed living here and know you will too! Please email us at lamma@cubiclemuses.com for more info.

---

Dreams, schemes, and flying it seems… that’s what’s in store for the Farr family in these next six months.

Dreams

Indie Arcade has been Aaron and William’s startup dream. In short, Indie Arcade is online software that allows beginners as well as programming whizzes to create and share games. The duo have been working off and on for a few years, though something has always stalled their dream of 100% focus to complete the project and put it on the market. However, recently they’ve seen some promising developments which may finally allow them to put full effort into the project.

Schemes

With dreaming comes scheming and the inevitable shuffling of players. For sundry reasons, Aaron needs to work on Indie Arcade from the industrious Chinese city of Guangzhou, which is a two hour train ride north of Hong Kong. Just last week he secured the fabled six month multiple entry business visa. His crew of masterminds will be coding in Guangzhou in between prayers for Red Bull to return to stores. All the chess pieces are quickly mobilizing to ensure a final shot at startup stardom.

Flying it seems

Meanwhile, Maeli and I have been planning a summer visit to the US. This was long in the works and still part of the master plan. However, my summer in the States is transforming into a half-year in the States as I purchase one way tickets. Guangzhou, with all its fast paced wheels and deals may be ideal for starving startup hackers, but it’s not my vision of paradise. Aaron needs to execute and I need a break from Asia. So we’ll be staring at each other across the Pacific for a few months until Aaron can make it back to the US himself later this year.

Further adventures

Not ones to sit around and watch reruns, Maeli and I are filling our calendar with new adventures. We’re considering a 70 mile backpacking trip across the Laurel Highland Ridge Trail in Pennsylvania in autumn. We also want to try our hand as WWOOFers. Of course, Aaron threatens to crash the party and make a few trips back to the US so we don’t forget his face completely. If all goes to plan, we should be together in the US for the holidays and then making the trip back to Asia together in early 2010.

Of course, there is always the possibility of changing everything. The smog of China may appeal to me after a few months without my happy hacker. Time will tell. Dreams will persist. And scheming is always part of the journey, driving our adventures.

---

I only know a handful of expats that have family living nearby. This one fact induces serious expat networking and a well oiled community to compensate for family birthday parties, holiday get-togethers, or even cousin Caleb’s soccer game.

This morning I got a text from a French mother on Lamma:

“Morning mummys. What a beautiful day! Charlotte and I will spend the morning at the beach. Maybe see u there!”

Maeli gets invited to regular functions to a point of near excess. Usually there are a few birthday parties every month and then the handful of weekly play date invitations, as well as the monthly outings to a larger event or venue off of Lamma. Don’t forget the neighborhood kids that just started knocking on our door regularly.

I’m pretty certain Maeli wouldn’t have this many friends if we were living close to our extended family. I would stick to family just like a lot of other people in their homeland. There wouldn’t be the drive for these never ending social networks.

With all of these positives, we can’t forget the negatives.

These communities are transient. Already, a few of Maeli’s friends have moved away and I let Maeli know that she will one day host a goodbye party for all of her friends. The sense of security just isn’t the same as, for instance, my parents who’ve lived in the same house for 29 years.

Wacky parenting styles are another negative, which isn’t exclusive to expat communities. There are plenty of complaints about over-giving grandparents or a lazy aunt. (I’ll stop now before someone in my own family thinks I’m talking about them!) But, at least for me, I’m able to clearly tell my family and in-laws about my parenting style and I know they try to respect that. It’s harder to do that with transient families. And, since these kids have so many friends, they get a sample of every parenting style.

I know parents who can’t discipline their kids, others who over discipline, some who can’t stop screaming, others who are over cautious, and some who let their toddlers run around Lamma with no adult.

We all have flaws as parents but it becomes hectic when the community is so big and children get too many different examples of parenting. All of these parenting models are wonderful learning material for me, but they may be confusing for Maeli. I’m starting to hear “Well, so-and-so is allowed to do that, or eat that, or watch that.” Again, this probably isn’t completely exclusive to expat communities.

I know my own family will read this and wonder if I think expat communities are better than living close to family. I have no answer for that. To be honest, I think Maeli would be a happy kid either way.

---

Recently we’ve had family visit from Pittsburgh. Shayla, Aaron’s sister, and her husband Sean stayed only for a week. Of course we reconnected with them with late night talks and daily outings. As always, it was too short a visit. Toward the end, Aaron and I agreed how much we relish our visitors and hope to always have a guest bedroom wherever we live.

When people stay with us, we gain perspective on their lives and even ours. Their reactions to the way we live, what we eat, where we go, and how we spend our free time are valuable bits of information. When moving so far away it’s hard to gain full perspective on your new life until confronted with the past, or confronted with people from the past. Visitors are easy ways to come full circle and see how much growth has been achieved, or how much we’ve regressed.

What I enjoyed about this recent blast from the past was how truly American my in-laws are. Shayla even refers to Pittsburgh folk as “salt of the earth people”. Personally, I love how open Americans are. They won’t shy away from making a rude sarcastic joke, or hesitate to tell you that your fly is down. But it’s not all crude behavior. Americans really look you in the eye and shake your hand with a forceful sincerity.

I’m guilty as charged. I was at a beach bonfire party this past weekend and ended up talking to a Chinese guy for ten minutes. I asked him if he knew any other Americans. He said, “I really like Americans. They are really… They are… Um…” Then he got out his i Phone and looked up the Chinese character that meant “frank” and “straight forward”. I couldn’t help but think that I was acting more frank because of the recent visit with Shayla and Sean. Those two sparked my true nature, which sometimes gets suppressed here. Most of the people I know in Hong Kong are Brits and Chinese. Brits certainly aren’t frank…they are all politeness. Chinese are only frank about facts, not so much about feelings. So it’s nice to pour a shot of straight frank-talk down the hatch. Thank goodness my brother is coming to visit in a few weeks.

---

There are a lot of dogs on Lamma, and consequently people complain about their kids being bit, or the random droppings in the middle of the street. I grew up with dogs, so I’m indifferent to Lamma’s dog mania. But, Maeli isn’t used to dogs, especially the huge menacing ones. She shrieks in fear every time one approaches her, even if it’s a miniature yapping one. I decided it was time for a change.

A friend of a friend of a friend needed a dog sitter. I jumped at the opportunity, considering it was only for three days. After I told Maeli the good news, she demanded a three day stay at Minda’s flat, attempting to avoid the dog entirety.

We weren’t really thrilled when the dog arrived, considering the thing looked like a bear. Indy (short for Indian Jones) is some sort of overgrown, fluffed-out collie. Luckily, Indy is eight years old, affording him a gentle temperament. Maeli steered clear of Indy during the first night, shrieking every time he moved. However, to our great satisfaction, at the end of Indy’s stay, Maeli was walking him by herself, brushing him, and hugging him like an old friend. My little plan worked, and I recommend dog sitting for anyone with dog-fearing children.

---

This past Saturday, Maeli and I participated in a candle-light yoga class. All the participants donated to WWF for their climate change campaign.

Here is an excerpt from the WWF webpage:

• “Over 1,800 buildings and many of Hong Kong’s well known neon signs went dark; over 600 companies and organizations, over 160 schools and all universities joined thousands of people across Hong Kong who switched off their lights.”

Maeli and I brought our mats and candles and waited for our instructor, Dora, to start the class. Maeli decided to try yoga on my mat. We reached for the sky. We took a rest with our heads through one leg. And in the end, Maeli joined in a downward dog. Our flat is only a short walk from where the yoga charity event was held, so Maeli and I went home, took bubble baths, and crawled into bed after a bowl of cereal. It was a late night, but so indulgent!

Read more about the charity yoga event on www.lamma.com.hk. All the photos were taken by Lamma-Gung.

---

Aaron and I boarded a bus at 10am on a beautiful clear day in Amsterdam. There wasn’t an extra seat on the double-decker bus, and different languages echoed off the broad windows.

“When’s the last time you’ve been on a tour?” Aaron asked.

I remembered numerous trips in middle school and high school, but drew a blank after that. Aaron agreed that this was his first trip since his former school days. We didn’t know quite what to expect.

Immediately our guide, an older blond dutch women, began to commentate during the hour and a half ride to Antwerp, Belgium. She pointed out interesting landmarks as well as added her own opinion about culture. She first said everything in English and then repeated in Spanish. It was a welcomed and unexpected brush-up Spanish course for the both of us.

When we arrived in Antwerp, everyone broke off for an hour and a half of free time. Aaron and I had no map or much of an idea of where to go or what to do. Luckily, as we walked into the center square we ran into an annual parade to celebrate spring. There were giant puppets on wheels, and different styles of historic dress, as well as musicians. This was a most impressive first sight, especially against the Gothic architectural background.

After the short parade, we walked around a few blocks in the hopes of bumping into more treasures. I lit a candle for my mother in the oldest cathedral in Antwerp while Aaron went wild with the camera at a nearby castle. We bought local delights: handmade chocolates and french fries. We learned from the previous Van Gogh paintings that potatoes were and are a staple of this part of the world. We washed the fries down with a home brewed beer, also famous in this region and rightly so.

We jumped on the bus and headed to Brussels. Everyone was dropped off in the city square and enjoyed two hours of free time. I was immediately drawn to a market where I later went back to buy a cheap wool hat. Aaron and I sat down to a homemade Belgium waffle with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. We wandered around and browsed the shops. Finally we found our way in a small alley with numerous small restaurants boasting fresh seafood. We sat down and ordered a famous Belgium dish of steamed mussels.

After a little more photography, we settled in the bus for the three hour ride home. In the end, we thought it all a good deal for our money and a wonderful addition to our Amsterdam trip.

---

I’ve been getting a little dose of Dutch for the last two days, and loving every minute of it. Aaron and I are at the Movenpick Hotel in Amsterdam now and I’ll be leaving after six days while he stays on for an Apache conference.

We arrived in Amsterdam on Friday morning at 6am. We spent the day strolling all over the city and doing our tourist part. The Van Gogh museum was of most insightful value. I learned about the Netherlands landscape and 19th century country life through Van Gogh’s paintings. My favorites included Basket of Potatoes, The Sower, and The Potato Eaters.

First impressions of Holland are:

• People are really tall here! I walked by one tourist as he said “Look at that group of women…they are all six feet tall!”

• The biking environment is nothing short of astounding. Wide lanes, respect for right of way, and courteously letting people pass are social behavior that Beijing could take note of.

• Sitting in the sun and having a drink: coffee, tea, beer, etc. is not just an occasional happening. It’s a way of life.

• Marijuana has not ruined the society. The “coffee shops” and red light district do not define this city. It’s like when people think of Florida…they think of oranges, old people and Disneyland. Well, the same is true with Amsterdam. People think of wooden shoes, the red light district and marijuana. I’ve been to Florida and there is a lot more than old people and an amusement park. Amsterdam culture is very friendly, artistic, and orderly.

• I will never turn down a good opportunity to come back.

---

I inherited my love of baseball from my father. He coached my first team “The Chickadees” when I was at the ripe age of five. Later, in middle school, he took me to the little league tryouts for fast pitch softball. I played for the “Ravens” for four years. During that time, my father bought a pitching machine. On nice afternoons, we’d take the pitching machine to local fields and practice batting and outfield pop flies. Of course, there were always ground balls hit to my position, the hot spot…third base. My father even set up a batting training course in the cellar. Some evenings, we’d take an hour to go through all of them. He built a wooden balance so I could perfect my batting stance and stride. We had all types of balls and techniques to improve the speed and motion of my swing. Our ultimate goal and success was to be hand selected to play for the local traveling team, named “The Gems”. Later, after college, I ended up coaching my old high school team and I’ve never lost my love for the game.

Since I came to Hong Kong, I’ve been looking for a team to play on and finally I’m back in the game. “Tropical Paradise” is the name of my new team, formally known as the “Evil Angels” (the name I prefer).

On the first day of practice, I came to learn that I am the first and only westerner to play in this league of 5 Chinese teams. I was assured that it was okay to play, even though I don’t speak Cantonese. Through the team, my Cantonese has improved, as well as my affection for Chinese culture.

My only other long term interaction with a Chinese group of women was at the kindergartens, where I did not feel included. Playing baseball with these women has helped me see Chinese culture in a relaxed environment. Most of my teammates are in their late 20’s, and we actually have more in common than I originally thought. They make funny jokes about “uncle goldfishes”, who are old men that stare at young women too much. They get ticked off when the umpire makes a bad call, even though I’m the only one who’s bold enough to express it…they just readily agree. These women are also fantastic about team spirit and cooperation.

I suppose it’s easy to make broad generalizations about cultures. Often Americans are seen as lazy, fat, and very free with the first amendment (otherwise known as loud and obnoxious). I’ve heard jokes about Chinese people only being good at games like table tennis, because it involves no team. It was my experience to have a negative view of Chinese culture through a work environment. Now that I have another Chinese experience to compare, I am happy that some of my own generalizations were easily broken. People are people. Being open to cultural experiences and looking closer makes all the difference.

---

After checking the calendar, I noticed that we have employed a “domestic helper” (or as some say, “nanny” or “maid” or “amma”) for over a year and a half.

Next month marks the first year of our official contract, according to the Hong Kong government. And Minda has been more than helpful to us. I’ve been wanting to give her a raise for some time, and now that we have an official “anniversary”, I will give her a 10% pay raise. She more than deserves it. I have also written a list of activities that we want to see continued in our home. For general interest, her are some of the particulars:

• organizing Maeli’s afternoon play schedule
• preparation of meals
• housecleaning
• assisting with visitors
• general sewing
• taking initiative without being asked
• utilizing the weekly budget wisely

Here is one of the “Discussion Points” that I plan on discussing with Minda:

*Maeli’s general attitude: I want Maeli to have a sincere and visual respect for you. I see other children boss their helpers, and I disapprove of that behavior in Maeli. I want Maeli to say “please” and “thank you”, as well as politely ask for things instead of demanding them.

That “Discussion Point” makes Maeli look a tad disrespectful. The issue is that Maeli and Minda spend most of their time together when I’m not around. A few afternoons a week, Minda will join us in the living room for games/art projects/etc, but for the most part I don’t see the two of them interact much. I’ve noticed that sometimes Maeli bosses Minda around, and I want to nip that behavior in the bud. I would like Minda’s full understanding and agreement on this point.

So goes the ongoing work and development of hired help. For all the benefits it provides, I sure will miss it someday when we leave Hong Kong.

---

I’ve got my hands into a whole new lifestyle and rhythm. A few months ago, I was offered a chance to do some work for a local educational company called Wiseman that creates material for a mainly Asian market. I work with 2 programs called English Builder and Fun n’ Friends developing lessons for children between the ages of 6 and 18.

I’ve worked in out so that I do absolutely no face time in their offices, which would be over an hour one-way commute. I simply sit on my couch sipping tea while working on the computer.

Friends have commented that my stress levels have dropped dramatically compared to when I was teaching in the kindergartens. I choose my hours and work load, and simply have to notify the company regarding how much work I’ll be doing each week. Also, the pay is better than teaching and the work keeps my intellect much more active compared to the clowning I did in the kindergartens.

But working from home had a lot of initial challenges. It’s easy to procrastinate at home. I would fiddle around during the week and then realize that I should have at least some lessons plans done before Monday morning, which consequently negated time with Maeli and Aaron on the weekends.

I’ve made weekly goals for myself, which have been very effective. And I reward myself at the end of the week when my weekly quota is full.

Maeli is also much happier with a happier mother. When Maeli comes home from school, I close the computer and focus on her. And then when she goes out in the afternoon to play with friends, I dive back into work. It is also my new policy to close the computer when Maeli comes home in the evening. Before I made these personal self government policies, I would constantly be on the computer, checking emails and writing at various points. Now I have successfully sectioned my days and allocated time so that I’m not focused on work when I’m engaged in another activity.

I don’t know if I’ll ever take a job away from home again. I’m finding life rather ideal at the moment.

---