Perfect Asian Dudes

The Perfect Asian Dudes' List Of: Strong Indicators A Girl Is DTF - Part One

2012-01-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

We've come across a lot of different types of women in our adventures. It's a never ending struggle to tell whether or not a girl is DTF or if she's the type you take home to mom. We thought about some of the indicators we've come across and as we like to do, decided to compile a short list. So here is Part One of what will be a series to help you decide whether the girl you're with is DTF.

She agrees to come over to your house just to watch Jersey Shore = DTF

She goes out clubbing during a blizzard = DTF

She has lip piercings = DTF

She has a picture of herself on a motorcyle without knowing how to ride it = DTF

She has kids = DTF

She puts a lot of effort into painting her own nails to show you = DTF

She > 200lbs = DTF

She doesn't break eye contact = DTF

She is out partying on a Wednesday = DTF

To be continued...

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PAD Challenge: Become The Master Of Your Domain - Mission Accomplished

2012-01-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

They say that masturbation is a healthy habit...but who knew how much it could totally fuck up your potential for awesomeness. It's been 2 whole months since I threw on the chastity belt...and I haven't looked back. After going through what may be one of the biggest tests of my willpower, I feel like a battle hardened veteran. One step away from earning a black belt in the art of "Mastering My Domain". Grandmaster status here I come =)

Rather than go into detail about what I experienced, I instead wanted to give you all an overall picture. It stopped feeling like a day to day challenge. Instead, it became the norm. The ups and downs weren't so up and down anymore. It became stable and I was slowly seeing the benefits. After 60 days, here is what I experienced...

...I know kung fu...

1. I feel a greater sense of happiness and apprecation for everything. Achieving a sense of self-awareness and enjoying the "Now" is hard to put into words. It's as if everything is falling into place and the only thing that matters is what is going on at the moment. Not the past, not the future. They are irrelevant. Since rebooting, I've been better able to step outside of my head and embrace life to the fullest. Sorry for the granola-eating explanation but it's the only way to express it =P

For example, I was driving in the car one day and felt an immense sense of self-awareness and happiness. Like a ton of bricks, it just hit me how fantastic I felt. I was present. Completely enjoying the moment. Not a single wave of negative energy flowing through my bones. The sun was shining and the radio was on. I was able to sit back and appreciate the subtleties of everything around me.

2. My confidence has been upped. Physically, something is at work here. Increased levels of testosterone maybe? The added energy or the clearer mind? There must be something more...but regardless of what it is exactly, I feel like a million bucks. There's an amazing sense of accomplishment as I wake up in the morning and as I go to bed every night knowing I haven't "un-mastered my domain". A short-term goal is essentially achieved each and every day. I walk around with this secret sense of achievment and we all know how our own achievments play into our sense of self-worth and confidence. When you take up a challenge and beast through what may seem like the impossible, it's like walking around knowing you have a huge dick. Yea...something like that.

Totally mirin' this kid's confidence

3. I've been more impulsive and take more risks. I think I take a lot more risks than the average person, but since becoming a "Master of my Domain", I've felt even more courage and boldness flowing through my veins.

It's mostly evident in the way I've been approaching girls out at night. Recently I've been approaching girls with just sexual eye contact and a hand wave or arm grab. Simple, dominant, and caveman-like - the way it should be. More times than not, it would get the girl to talk to me. In the not too distant past I would try to at least think of something smooth to say. Now those days seem long gone. This recent success could be partly due to going out in a brand new city. The girls may just be friendlier here but regardless...bold as a mutha.

To provide a specific example of not giving a fuck, just today I took the bus to work because I had to get my car fixed. The bus was full of around 30 business professionals and complete "it's monday" type silence. Not one person talking the whole way. A decent looking girl sits down next to me and I struck up a conversation. We ended up having a great conversation the whole way while everyone sat and stood in silence just listening in on us. She was totally mirin' =) This is something I've been doing more often. Simply making more attempts to strike up conversation with strangers to make their days a little bit more memorable regardless of how out of the norm it may be.

4. I've been beasting it at the gym. Partially due to moving in with one of the other Perfect Asian Dudes, who is well known for his beastly feats in the gym. It's also due to the added energy. No more grogginess or forcing myself. Gym time is my favorite part of the weekdays. I've been pushing each set to the max like never before and really shocking my central nervous system. I don't stop one rep short. When I can't get in another rep, I really can't get in another rep. I've been quickly putting back on my lean mass I lost after my trip to Europe.

5. My sex drive is up, libido is up, penis is up. They've all leveled up. This may be hard to believe but I honestly think my penis looks and feels fuller. Even in a flaccid state it's more lively and plump (hope that put a good image in your head). Erections are much more frequent and stiff. This means a lot more inappropriate erections at work =) Guys experiencing any type of low sex drive or erectile dysfunction can greatly benefit from rebooting. Your problem may be simply caused by the fact you jerk it too often.

Another added bonus of "mastering your domain" is, well...cartoon-ish sized loads, as I experienced the other night after a hot date with a new girl =) I never thought it was humanly possible for me to spew that much jizz out at one time. But anything seems possible now. If that isn't enough to at least get you to look into this, then you are no longer a man.

So what does the future hold?

Somewhere along the way it no longer felt like a challenge. It became a way of life. Gone are the days of instant gratification via anything other than a female/vagina. I can say that this sperm bank is no longer giving out freebies and will only be open to loyal customers looking to make a withdrawal =)

Even though I've completed the 2 months I originally aimed for, I'm going to soldier on. The benefits I've experienced have far outweighed the instant gratification. I can honestly say this has been one of the greatest decisions I've ever made.

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10 Things Asian Dudes Need To Stop Doing Right Now!

2011-12-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

We love seeing Asians making progressive strides in society. It gives us a warm feeling when we see an asian dude and can think to ourselves, "That right there...is a Perfect Asian Dude". Unfortunately, this is few and far between. So we wrote up a list of our current asian dude pet peeves. Without further adieu, here is our list of 10 Things Asian Dudes Need To Stop Doing Right Now!

1. Being an Armani Exchange hoarder. It's our firm belief that a dude should never spend more money on clothing than their sisters. It's not a crime to wear colors other than black and a billion shades of grey. A similar case can also be made for Abercrombie and Hollister hoarders.

2. Executing the "Chin Up Stare Down" picture pose.
Step One: Throw up gang signs.
Step Two: Tilt chin up and stare down.
Step Three: Make sure not to smile.
Step Four: End up on a blog with the ridiculous ass photo you've just created.

The pink tie obviously represents his gang colors

3. Feathery Anime Hair. Words like tousled, feathered, layered, and even blow-dried should never be used to describe your hair.

She has pretty hair

4. Being a prototypical "angry asian". Bitchfests are my least favorite type of "fest". I'd rather be at a sausagefest....at least there's no bitches =P

5. Working out in herds. Because becoming a Ripped Asian Dude is obviously a group effort that requires you to take turns on the bench press and ab wheel every day with your five closest friends. This behavior is especially popular among university students where there's a sizable asian population

6. Excessive use of the "N word". No matter how much you and your friends may call each other the "N word". No matter how much you love Lil' Wayne and Drake's music. No matter how many fitted NY Yankee's caps you own. No matter what city ghetto your parents decided to immigrate to and raise you in -- you know where I'm going with this.

7. Living the "Asian Thug Life". See number 6 for explanation.

F-F-F-F-F-F-FAG YOU-NET!

8. Substituting "Asian" with "Azn". Be proud of being "Asian", not "Azn". That abbreviation is reserved for Astrazeneca, which can help explain why so many asians are drawn towards pharmacy. This one isn't so gender specific.

9. Wearing colored contacts. Usually worn by the same people who have "azn" in their instant messenger screen name. All the blue-colored contacts in the world can't hide the fact that you're an ugly mother focker. It also amplifies the fact you're a tool. Lose-lose situation.

Sorry brah...she ain't mirin'

10. Believing Video Games > Girls. I enjoy video games as much as the next dude but we believe weekends should be spent gaming......real girls.

Fleshy boobs > Digital boobs

If any of these apply to you then for all that is sacred, holy, and PAD, make it a New Years Resolution to stop this behavior at once!

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Don't Be Alone This Christmas Holiday

2011-12-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year where everyone is filled with lots of jolly and eggnog. Why not use it to your advantage? Christmas is the ideal holiday to reconnect with people you've lost touch with. Try sending a text to all the cuties in your phone that reads something like this:

"Merry Christmas! I hope you got everything you wished for this year =)"

Hopefully all they wanted for Christmas was you...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

-from you fellow PADs

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PAD Challenge: Become The Master Of Your Domain - Day 30

2011-12-10T19:25:00.000-08:00

It's the 30 Day Anniversary! I didn't think it was possible but I always tend to prove myself wrong =) Anything is possible as long as you got the cajones. Halfway there and I'm starting to think this could be a way of life. No more masturbation and porn for good? Who knows? I'm seeing the light and I might just convert. Here's a peek into my journal:

Day 18
Three of the PADs and I went out of state to visit my family for a little holiday get together...and for some good ol' fashion PAD fist pumping of course =)

I felt like a caged animal because I've been on a self-imposed clubbing hiatus. Too bad the crowd was tame. Too tame for proper beasting. The night was going well. Dancing with girls here and there. Nothing too crazy. It was getting late and I was getting impatient. Dancing with girls just wasn't cutting it.

Near the end of the night I tapped on the leg of a hottie who was dancing on stage to get her attention. She waved me up. We dance dirty. After a minute of childishness I go in for a makeout. I can tell I shocked her and put her on the defensive. I went in too hard, too soon. It's likely no guy has been that upfront with her before =) She soon ejects. Ah fuck it.

"Was I being too aggressive?"

I stay on the stage and start looking for a girl in the crowd to make eye contact with. Boom! I notice a cutie down below checking out the goods and I wave her up. She tells me to come down instead. I jump down and we start grinding. I put my forehead on hers and eventually we're nose to nose. She's cool with it. I go in for a kiss. Again, this is only after a minute of meeting her =) She pulls her head away. Once again, too hard too soon.

I've locked lips with honeys within a few minutes of meeting many times before but I usually wait for better signals. I was aggressive as fuck when I should've been suave and flirted more. "Mastering My Domain" might've been cause for my impatience or it could've been the fact I was staying at a hotel just a quarter mile away =) Probably both, but one thing is for sure: my drive was high that night.

Day 21
My penis feels neglected and unused. I haven't felt much desire for female companionship. I'm definitely going through some changes. I haven't had an erection all day except for the customary morningwood.

Day 25
It's the polar opposite of how I felt just a few days ago. All I've been thinking about is sex lately. To the point where it's actually affecting my concentration. I've never been addicted to anything but I think this may be some sort of withdrawal symptom. Like my body is asking "What the fuck is up?". I logged onto YourBrainOnPorn.com to read stories and remind myself what's at stake. For all you readers out there, I'm doing this for you. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Melanie Iglesias...making it hard for me (pun intended)

Day 28
Boners...all day. Boner while driving in the car. Boner while home watching The Food Network. Boner while sitting at the computer reading. The slightest touch or movement could trigger one. I'd tap my feet and the friction from my pants alone would set it off for me. I've noticed I've been having massive erections at night when trying to catch some Zzz's. It would actually keep me up. For guys who have trouble getting it up or staying hard, definitely give this PAD Challenge a try.

Day 30
It's the 30th day and overall, I'm glad I took up this challenge. Here are the most noticable changes so far:

I feel more like the Energizer Bunny. I don't have as many bouts of grogginess or laziness. I wake up and feel ready to take on the day. Workouts feel more productive and I exert myself to the fullest.

I have more focus. Like a natural adderall. There are times when I think about sex all day and times when I could give two shits about it. During the latter, I can get a lot done because my mind feels sharp and clutter free. I think it'll be just a matter of time when the days where I think about sex a lot will be less frequent.

You know that feeling you get after you just jerked it? Like, you feel like the biggest piece of crap ever? I don't feel that anymore. I no longer feel dirty. There's a subtle shame or cloud over your head when you know you're partaking in such deviant acts. "Mastering My Domain" has made me feel better about myself. It's great knowing I'm accomplishing something extremely difficult for both PADs and PUDs alike and beasting through a challenge most people wouldn't even accept.

Here's to hoping the second half of this challege is even better than the first =)

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Don't Be Afraid Of Hitting Life's Reset Button

2011-12-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

I'm hitting the reset button...

I'm packing up and moving to a spankin' new city in a week =) That means starting all over. No family, no social circle, no real connections other than one of the other Perfect Asian Dudes.

It's a bitter sweet feeling leaving everything behind since I have everything I could possibly need here. My loving family, a great social circle, a city full of girls. I have it good where I am...I'm comfortable.

A little too comfortable...and that's exactly the problem.

Many of us yearn to find peace and comfort. We go on a journey to find a city we can fall in love with, with a person we're in love with, kick our feet up, and live out our lives. It's forgivable if you're at that age and have a family to take care of. But to me, comfort equals boredom. Comfort means you aren't growing. Comfort...is the opposite of adventure =)

Hit the Reset before it's Game Over

Traveling through Europe opened my eyes to this especially. Only until you travel through an entire continent; until you completely immerse yourself in different cultures can you truly appreciate what the world has to offer.

I felt fear and moments of extreme discomfort overseas. In other words, I felt alive. Coming back to the states I knew I wanted to make a big change and this is why I decided to take the risk and leave my comfortable little life. To stop talking and start doing.

We like comfort because we don't like fear. Packing up and moving requires starting over. We are afraid of not making friends, afraid of being unfamiliar, afraid of being away from family members, afraid of being uncomfortable. People who let fear control them usually end up making their fears come true. They fall victim to the almighty self-fulfilling prophecy. If you move to a new city thinking you're going to hate it, chances are you're going to hate it. And the biggest reason you're going to hate it is because you won't allow yourself to like it...all because you let the fear get to you.

A lot of us make big moves because we are forced to for various reasons, while a lot of us want to but never end up doing so. All because we are afraid. Fear is both good and bad. Fear helps keep us alive but it also doesn't allow us to fully live. The trick to having an adventurous and fulfilling life is to know when your fear is irrational. When you start to really become in-tune with your thoughts and emotions you will realize that most of your fear is irrational, such as hitting the reset button. No one is going to kill you for starting a new adventure in a new city...at least I hope not.

Don't you worry your little head, it's not that dangerous

My mindset is not one of fear in the least bit. I haven't been this excited about moving ever since I first moved away for college =) I look forward to not having friends and forcing myself to make new ones. I can't wait to explore the city, the women, the food, etc. I've learned to embrace being uncomfortable because I know I'm experiencing something new. I know that I am stepping outside of my comfort zone. And the best indicator for whether or not you are growing as a person is how often you are uncomfortable.

I plan on staying in this new city for a few years then who knows where life will take me. I'm open to the possiblity of maybe living somewhere overseas for a bit. Singapore seems like a pretty sweet place to live. Why?

Because if you're not growing, you're dying...=)

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PAD Challenge: Become The Master Of Your Domain - Day 15

2011-11-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

Its been over 15 days since I began "Mastering My Domain". Past the quarter mark and a good place to post an update.

Luckily, every good Perfect Asian Dude practices discipline and self-control. I'm not restraining myself with handcuffs at night so I'd say its a win. It's not to say I haven't experienced any side effects. I've noticed changes both good and bad...

Still Mr. Anderson, not yet Neo

Day 4
Something happened that I've never experienced before...nightwood. Ever heard of it? I don't know about you but morningwood is my wood of choice. I had a raging boner that kept me up and just wouldn't go away. One where I felt I could really do some damage with =) Its common for me to go this many days without giving into temptation so this was a complete mystery.

Day 6
I started noticing that whenever I'd see a hot girl I have to turn away and forget I ever laid eyes on her. No mental fantasizing. Otherwise, I'd get a warm fuzzy feeling deep in my loins. My libido is up for sure. When they say masturbation kills your drive and motivation, they aren't lying kids.

Day 8
I had a luscious lady friend stay over my place. We never hooked up before in the past but we went out drinking and she was...well, aggressive as fuck. Once the drinks started flowing her beast mode kicked in and she started gaming me. It was a nice role reversal =) We ended up kissing and making out among other things. Luckily or unluckily, however you want to look at it, I did not end up spreading any seeds that night.

Brock Mode [activated]

Could her aggressiveness be a result of me "Mastering My Domain"? Are these Rebooters onto something? Hmmm...time will tell.

Day Motherfuckin' 13
They say it's a walk in the park at first but you'll eventually hit a wall. Day 13 was that wall. I had the hardest time falling asleep. A strong urge to perv on some porn came over me. Probably because I haven't seen a naked body in two weeks. I was like a crackhead fiending for a fix. I gave in, opened my laptop, and watched a few minutes of porn...but I didn't do anything. Just watched. It was weird...

After realizing how completely illogical watching porn while trying to "Master My Domain" was the urge subsided and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning knowing I beasted through the urge and came out the other side a better man. A more perfect man =)

Day 15
One-quarter of the way there. This is going to be a rollercoaster =)

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Make Sure You Aren't Alone This Thanksgiving Holiday

2011-11-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

How you ask?

Thanksgiving is the perfect excuse to text any girl or friend who you haven't spoken to in a while. It's the ideal time to reconnect. Holidays are great for reviving fires that have gone a bit cold. Send a text that simply says:

"Happy Thanksgiving insert name here. I hope you're doing well."

Then let the games begin and work your charm from there. It's a holiday, only a cold hearted person would respond negatively.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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What Everyone Can Learn From The Jersey Shore

2011-11-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

Anyone who follows this blog can pretty much tell we love The Jersey Shore. We've quoted and referenced it in possibly half the articles we've posted thus far. So why do we have such a sick obsession with the show and all of the drama, real or fake, that goes on between these eight caricatures of Jersey guidos?

Well first off, the most obvious reason, is that its fuckin' hila-a-a-arious. Its just plain good TV. Seeing MVP herding girls back to the house, watching Mike instigating Ron and Sam's fights, ogling Jwow's silly-cones, and Pauly D's "Yeaaa buddy!" gets me everytime.

But the real reason we're so drawn to The Jersey Shore is because...they remind us of ourselves. No, we're not Italian nor are we Guidos (though that may be up for debate) but there are a lot of similarities in how we act and operate. Aside from GTL'ing there's a lot that can be learned here.

We do have hundreds of inside jokes, we do fist pump, and we do sport The Situation-like physiques but there is one thing that PAD and MVP have in common that everyone can learn from; its having full belief that we are...the motherfuckin' shit. We don't think there's many groups of guys cooler than us, more fit than us, more fun than us, more positive than us, or can hook up with as many girls as us. If you watch the show then you know that the Jersey Shore-ians are thinking the exact same thing.

Sure, in actual reality there is always someone who will be better than you but following that reality isn't the objective. For every person, there are two realities: actual reality, the state of things as they actually exist, and a personal reality, the way you perceive things to exist. Much like reality television, we create our own reality. For us PADs, its a reality where we're the big boss and everyone is just an employee or unemployed.

Now do we go around being jerks to everyone trying to show them how cool we are? NO! That's called being a tool. Instead, we keep those beliefs in our heads and don't TRY to do anything. Having certain beliefs just show through naturally when you truly believe them. That way you're not being fake or try-hard.

Some call it being overly arrogant or cocky and maybe even delusional, but here's a question...Why should we think any other way? Would we be living the lives we lead now if we were realistic and worried about every little thing? In our reality, the people who call us arrogant have no voice. We do not let negativity into our world. Though the Jersey Shore cast may not be winning any awards for their intelligence, you have to respect them for doing what most people are too afraid to do...not giving any thought to what anyone thinks of them. To start taking risks and enjoy being out of your comfort zone, this is essential.

Give yourself the permission to work towards living the life and being the dude you've always wanted to.

The biggest reason we sell ourselves short is because we are afraid of negative feedback. We're afraid we'll be criticized and people won't accept us but luckily the only reasons these critics exist is because they are the ones who are the most jealous. Isn't that always the case when it comes to haters? Would you rather be living your life like the dudes on Jersey Shore, banging chicks left and right, going out and having a blast, acting without trying to get anyone's approval, beasting through life etc. Or would you like to be the hater who got knocked the eff out by Ronnie?.....Okay bad example, but you get what we're trying to say.

A lot of people, usually of the PUD kind, tend to bash The Jersey Shore by calling it mindless trash television. Trashy? Yeah, I can agree with that. Mindless? Not so much. We think everyone can learn a thing or two from MVP, Rahn and Sam, the Meatballs, and Jwow's boobs.

Eh...mainly just MVP

If people started taking notes, the world would be a much happier, tanner, and DTF-ier place =)

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PAD Challenge: Become The Master Of Your Domain

2011-11-15T01:10:00.000-08:00

I spend a lot of free time researching ways to better myself and improve my quality of life. Of course, no one is just born this perfect =) In doing so, I find myself clicking through link after link and needless to say, I stumble across a lot of random shit. Articles that have little or nothing to do with what I intended to research.

I recently came across an interesting forum. Interesting would be a definite understatement here...This was a forum where people chronicled their experiences as they tried to "Master Their Domain". For those who are a little on the slow side or have never seen the classic Seinfeld episode, "Mastering Your Domain" means withholding from masturbation. Though they call it "rebooting"...like a computer.

whoa...

So why do people decide to take part in these experiments? A lot of them are porn addicts or chronic masturbators. Personally, I'm not doing this for any ethical/religious reasons. I wouldn't even consider taking up this challenge if I saw no real benefit from doing so, but what I read in those forums really caught my attention.

The way they described the epiphanies, changes, and break throughs they experienced was similar to Neo discovering the power he had in The Matrix. Almost unreal. Here are some benefits that were reported:

Increased energy levels
Better mood/Less mood swings
Decreased social anxiety
No stress
More self-confidence
Self-actualization
More courage
Speaking with clarity/No stuttering
Deeper more attractive voice
Increased positive mindset
Less paranoia
Feelings of serenity and calmness
More awareness/alertness
Receiving more female attention
Better interactions with women
Healthier libido
Better erections/Cured erectile dysfunction (a big one...pun intended)
Better relationships with family and friends
More respect from other men
Looking better (having a glow)
Overall satisfaction with life

Obviously, a huge list of benefits. All of which are PAD-ish qualities.

The stories and accounts themselves were fun to read. The journal of a 23 year old who suffered from crushing depression and social anxiety was the most epic. He reported catching numerous girls mirin' on several different occasions. Like obvious creeper level staring which has never happened to him before. He even reported his taste in music changing. Music that sounded "too much" or too cluttered became hard to listen to. Instead, he opted to listen to softer more relaxing music. Most significant of his changes was his ability to build up the courage to stand up to his step father, who he had a broken relationship with, and gaining more respect from him. Epic indeed.

I would be crazy not to at least give it a shot. So over the next 2 months I'm going to put myself to the test. I'll be playing the role of guinea pig for all that is perfect, asian, and dude. I'll chronicle everything and will be providing updates on my personal experiences. I offically started the challenge on November 11, 2011 and it will run to January 9, 2012. Stay tuned for updates =)

May the PAD be with me. Schwoooom!

If You Meet Her At A Club In Amsterdam...She's Too Young For You Bro!

2011-11-09T17:04:00.000-08:00

Jet lagged and sleep deprived we stumble towards Rembrandt square, the clubbing district in Amsterdam, looking to start our Eurotrip off with a bang or two.

Taxi Driver: "People only come to Amsterdam to drink, smoke, and fuck"

You mean they don't come to sight-see?

Two out of those three are perfect reasons for any PAD to go to Amsterdam. As soon as we hit the square, I see a huge line of people outside a nightclub called Escape. On closer inspection I notice the demographics of the clubgoers...

What the fuck?? There's like a million asians here.

Here I was thinking I'd be one of only a handful of asians I'd see while in Europe. I couldn't have been more wrong...this time I revelled in the fact I was wrong. As soon as I took a look at the demographics of the women, I knew I found Nirvana. It was mostly comprised of beautiful asian girls but with hot european blondes and brunettes thrown in the mix. Not a single fatty in sight. No grenades to catch or jump on. It was 100% talent.

PAD: "Forget the rest of the square. This is where we're going."

We get in line, chat up a few girls behind us, and ignore the guys they're with. Warming them up for later in the club when they'll be drunk and less inhibited =P I get into the club with enough energy to light a city. I was waiting for this ever since I thought up the idea of backpacking through Europe months ago so I was ready to release the beast. We get Heinekens (not only the drink of choice for fobby asians but Amsterdamians also) and make our way to the dance floor.

I hit the dancefloor ready to kill...but something...felt off to me. It didn't hit initially. I knew I felt like a million bucks, there were tons of hotties everywhere, and it was a Friday night in Amsterdam. So what's up? I walk around a bit and that's when I notice the lame-osity of the people there. The women could be at fault but I'm going to have to make an educated guess and say the guys here have never beasted in their lives. There wasn't a single girl grinding on a guy. Everyone was evenly spaced out; all respecting each other's personal bubble. I didn't have to squeeze past anyone, push anyone, or avoid any sweaty arms.

What is this childish bullshit? This isn't a 10th grade dance. It's a European club. I thought there would be some crazy wacky shit I've never seen before going on. But enough playing around, time to soldier on. I see a sexy little asian girl and pounce.

PAD: "You're freaking adorable"

Adorable Asian: "Huh?"

PAD: "You're absolutely adorable"

AA: "Uhh.." with a smile on her face

We stare at each other for a bit and I realize...this ho doesn't understand a word I'm saying. Meanwhile her friend is giving me a weird look as if she's never seen a guy hit on her friend in her life. I say fuck it and leave.

Bitches love the lean =)

Undeterred, I do a little more prowling and see three girls dancing by themselves by the wall. A brunette, a pale black haired girl, and a caramel colored one. All the colors of the rainbow. I bust in their circle with my patented dance moves. Immediately, its love all around. All three dutch honeys giving me the eye. This time I'm not going to try and find out if these girls speak English. I'm gonna let my body do the talking first. I eventually hone in on the hottest one, the brunette. We talk. She speaks english with an accent. It's sexy =) I push her against the wall and I start getting serious. She looks at my lips and its game time. I go in for the kiss. We kiss for a few seconds and she turns her head. She was playing hard to get. Smart. I'll just try again later.

This is when some of her other friends get to the club and she starts talking to them. I make my introductions and whatnot but they're mostly dudes. I then notice her black haired friend looking lonely. Being that I always like to make sure everyone is having a good time, I pounce on her without hesitation. We dance. I can tell immediately that she's on a mission tonight. The signals she was giving off would be obvious even to the most inexperienced. She's grinding her ass all over me and running her hands through my hair. Our eyes maintaining contact the entire time. I'd lean in to talk into her ear and she'd move her face so that our lips would almost touch. We were in perfect rhythm and it was awesome.

I decided it was go time. Now is always the perfect time =) I had enough of the childish games. I grab her by the arm to pull her into a corner so we can make out and I can fiddle her. Out of nowhere the brunette jumps out and grabs her.

PAD: "Hey. What's up?" =)

Brunette: "You know she's sixteen right?"

At that moment my body went cold. I was sweating but it was cold...WTF!? What is she doing at this club? What asshole bouncer let her in here? I was just about to dominate her in a dark corner. The only thing I was missing was a full on molestache. I didn't want to take her word for it. I had to make sure for myself.

PAD: "Your friend just said you're sixteen. Are you really?"

Black hair: "Haha no, I'm not sixteen."

Phew, thank goodness. That lying jealous little...

Black hair: "I'm seventeen"

PAD: "......"

She said it as if it made all the difference in the world...Luckily, my friends jump in at the right moment and say they want to leave. The girls tell me to stay and just let my friends leave on their own. I entertained the thought in my head for a bit but it was our first night in Europe, I had no idea how to get home, and I didn't want to end up being seduced by a seventeen year old. I decide to call it quits and leave...laughing all the way back to the hostel.

I later find out the legal drinking age and age of consent in The Netherlands is sixteen =)

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The Perfect Asian Dudes' Halloween Beasting Weekend

2011-11-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

What does Halloween mean to you?

To young children, Halloween means candy, trick-or-treating, and costumes. To adults, Halloween is about costume parties, food, and drinks. To PADs, Halloween is all about costumed sluts and beasting =)

The day I arrived back in the states from Europe, the PADs didn't bother to ask me how my backpacking trip was, instead they attacked me with reasons why I should spontaneously buy a plane ticket to party in Minneapolis for Halloween the next day. What a warm welcome. After questioning my man-hood among other things, I caved in and bought a ticket. Yeaaaa buddy!

I didn't have a costume but I knew I wanted to be shirtless. I remember one of the other PADs being a Chippendale dancer years ago. It was cheap, easy, and allowed me to be shirtless. It was the perfect costume. Having lost a good amount of weight while traveling Europe, I wasn't in my best shape, but I knew I was gonna crush it.

A few hours after arriving in Minneapolis we pregamed and put our costumes on at one of the PADs' house. I tried not to overdrink during our pregame because I wanted to be a fully functioning machine at the club and not some sloppy drunkard. At first I felt a little gay with my costume on but looked in the mirror and realized:

I feel gay...because I would do me...

Fuckin' nice!

Myself, two other PADs, and their girlfriends hit the club in downtown Minneapolis more pumped up than usual. Probably because we haven't seen each other in a while, it's Halloween weekend, we look damn sexy in our costumes, and most of all...we were gradually getting in beast mode =) Almost as soon as I walk in, I notice smiles and looks from girls. This was as good an indication as any other of how the night would go.

[Beast mode activated]

We walk through the crowd and I felt little hands groping and pinching me. Like a bunch of giddy school girls they'd run up and ask if they could have a picture. I must've been fulfilling their exotic male dancer fantasies. I would flex my stomach and oblige. I'd take pics and flirt a bit but none of these girls really caught my attention enough to stop me in my tracks. That was all until I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around. Like out of a wet dream, standing there was a hot blond giving me seductive eyes and motioning me to come over with her index finger. Hypnotized, I walked towards her.

Hot Blonde: "My sister wants to dance with you"

I'm thinking "great her fat ugly sister wants to dance with me but is too insecure and afraid to ask". I couldn't have been more wrong...Lo and behold, standing right behind her was her hotter, taller, bigger breasted sister. Dressed as a Greek Goddess. She was my goddess =) I grab her arm, pull her in, and we grind. The attraction was immediate. I could feel the nympho inside her slowly coming out and I knew it was on. I was gonna take this chick home and that would be the end of it. I knew I had to escalate things quickly so after about just three minutes of dancing I decide to suck face with her.

Me: "Give me a kiss..."

And without hesitation, she tilts her head and BOOM, we're making out hardcore in the middle of the dance floor. All to the astonishment of those around us. This goes on for a couple minutes until they announce that all contestants in the costume contest need to get on stage. I was given a wrist band to enter the contest earlier in the night. I guess Chippendale costumes are pretty unique in Minnesota? Who would've thought.

I tell my goddess I have to get on stage and would be right back after the contest. I'm the last to jump on stage. We line up and the MC goes through each contestant one by one with the crowd's cheers to determine the winner. The first couple of contestants get a mix of cheers and boos. When my turn came around I flexed as hard as I could, struck my best poses, and did the Cat Daddy. I hear a few boos and lots of female screams. I started thinking I got enough cheers to make it to the next round but instead, they tell me to exit the stage to the left =( I only find out later, through my friends, that I got the second most boos out of all the contestants. Second only to a fat girl in a Playboy Bunny outfit. Selective hearing at play? It makes me feel great though since jealous haters are a byproduct of being a Perfect Asian Dude =)

I get off stage to look for my blonde goddess again. Instead I get grabbed by a tall sexy Spanish senorita dressed as a naughty schoolgirl who wants to grind. She must've known mini schoolgirl skirts were the key to my heart because she had it at that moment. We danced and grinded for the rest of the night in between make out sessions. She was a great kisser, trying to stick her tongue down my throat. This went on for about an hour. We were in our own little world and in love at the club.

The place was about to close and I was trying to figure out how to pull her back to our place. She came with a bunch of friends, who although loved me, wanted her to come home with them. I'm leading her around the club trying to find my friends so we can blow the popsicle stand so she can blow my popsicle. Unluckily for me, the other PADs went completely missing and I was stranded with no way of avoiding her friends. The lights in the club turn on and I spot her group. They come up to us like the little cockblocks that they are.

Friend: "Hey it was nice meeting you, we're gonna steal her back and go eat now"
Me: "No, it's cool. I'm gonna take her home...and feed her..."

Sweet choice of words =). Her friend darts her eyes down to my crotch and then back up to my face. I could only respond by giving her a little devilish smirk. To me it was a devilish smirk...to her it was more of a perverted molester smile...I kiss my senorita goodbye, drive home with the PADs, and stuff my face in sadness...

[Beast mode deactivated]

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Why NOW Is Always The Perfect Time

2011-10-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'll be heading to Europe in less than two weeks and boy....am I excited! I'll be hitting up five major cities renowned for their nightlife so you know what that means...P.A.D. (Party All Day). Unfortunately I'm not going with any of the PADs but two childhood friends instead. The other PADs are excited for me not because I'll be experiencing new cultures and will be creating lifelong memories, but because they want to hear stories of debauchery =) Typical PAD behavior.

Eiffel towers are awesome

Anyways I'm feeling inspired right now and want to elaborate on something. As I mentioned in one of my last posts, I'm currently in a transition phase of my life. I've been out of work for the past two weeks and am pretty much free to do whatever I want. With all this free time what is a guy to do?

Of course the "logical" route (what most people woud do) would be to stay home, save money, and look for jobs all damn day. Yes, going to Europe will put a good dent in my bank account and I don't exactly know when I'll be landing another job, but to me, NOW is always the best time to do anything. I'm young, single, I have no work obligations, and my PAD-ness is in full effect. I would be crazy not to.

People I've revealed my plans to are worried about me, which I find funny because I'm not. I don't think they're genuinely worried about me but act so because they imagine themselves in my place and the fear grips them. What stops people in their tracks is the fact they don't like making big decisions. Big decisions are always risky. Risk leads to worry and people don't like to worry. Nowadays it's job market this, job market that. I've had people tell me "Europe isn't going anywhere. It'll always be there. Why go now?" I know these same people won't be having many adventures in their lifetimes.

On the other end of the spectrum I hear things like, "What you're doing is awesome. I wish I could go. I've always wanted to". I get praise. It's crazy that people will look up to someone who simply decides to do what they want. What's funny is that they can do what I'm doing. I'm not curing cancer. I simply made a decision one day to backpack Europe in October because I knew that it would be an ideal time for me. I know the longer I put things off, the less likely I am to go through with it. If I wait until I land another job, I'll have to wait until I earn enough vacation days. During this time I'll accumulate more obligations and by then my desire to backpack Europe may lessen and I may never go.

I simply concentrated on why I should go now rather than focus on the million reasons why I shouldn't. I think about the rewards of taking a risk rather than the potential negative consequences. This is how you need to reframe your decision making process. It's called living in the moment. Realizing that NOW is always be the best time to do anything. If you truly desire an adventurous and fulfilling life, then you can't wait for the perfect moment because NOW is the perfect moment.

Be in the moment, ignore the inner PUD, and embrace your inner PAD. You'll thank me for it.

PAD Reading List:

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How To Easily Turn Every Setback Into A Blessing In Disguise

2011-09-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

"It was a blessing in disguise..."

I'm sure you've used this to describe a setback in your life. As if it was fate that your girlfriend broke up with you or fate that caused you to get fired from your job all so that better things could fall into place. I use this phrase all the time to describe when things don't exactly play out as planned. I use it but at the same time I hate saying it because it assumes I had no role in how the scenario turned out. It implies that this myserious force called "fate" is the one to blame or thank.

What if I told you that you can turn every bad situation into a blessing in disguise? I know it's hard to believe but you can create these miracles at will.

If it's so easy why don't more people do it? It's because everyone likes being the victim...

First, stop acting like a victim.

I can be your hero baaaaby

Something I've realized in my 25 years on this earth is that roughly 80% of the people I meet tend to have a victim mindset. Most people will wallow in their misery once things don't go their way. Being a victim is easy because you don't have to take responsibility and we all know how frightening responsibility can be. Being responsible requires taking action and we're lazy, plain and simple. The scariest thing of all is that it means being blamed if things don't work out....but why are we assuming things won't work out? Having responsibility also means we get all the fame and glory if things DO work out. Think of how good it'll feel to be the hero instead of the victim for once. The first hurdle in turning your setback into a blessing is strictly mental.

Next, actively look at what possibilities exist.

This is critical. Looking for the good within the bad is especially hard for someone who tends to look at the glass half empty. That's why I stress the word "actively", meaning not letting your natural tendencies dictate everything. Instead, make a real effort. Bust out a pen and jot down all the things you can do in your situation. Lost your job? Spend more time actively pursuing your passions. Got dumped or cheated on? Go out, party your ass off, and make out with as many people as you possibly can =) Got into a traumatic car accident? Learn to better appreciate life and create stronger relationships with loved ones. There are an infinite amount of positive opportunities even if your world has been turned upside down.

It is incredibly easy to find the good in every situation because there is always good in everything. All it takes is for you to ACTIVELY look for the possibilities presented in front of you. They do exist.

Marky Mark said it best

Lastly, assume responsibility and take active action.

It's one thing to recognize the possibilities, it's another to actually make it happen. Assume RESPONSIBILITY and take ACTIVE control (sorry for the excessive use of caps lock but this needs to be hammered in). If you don't assume responsibility or take active action then you might as well have not read this article. Instead, you're better off crying yourself to sleep every night wishing your life was better. Okay maybe not, but you get the idea. Like a lot of aspirations, it'll just be a pipedream. If you want to be able to describe every setback in your life as a blessing in disguise then you have to recognize that you've got the power. Just like Marky Mark =)

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The 40-Year-Old Virgin 101: How To Avoid Being One

2011-09-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany the other day brought on by a very close friend of mine. An epiphany about the male ego and another reason of how it completely fucks with us. It helps explain why most guys just never seem to make any progress when it comes to women. Any guy looking to improve himself to land the girl of his dreams should give this a read.

Let me go into a little story of how these thoughts came about...

The friend I'm talking about is like a brother to me. I've known him and his brother since the 4th grade and we've maintained a great friendship. They were a part of my grade school posse much like how the PADs are my go to guys now. Things began to change after high school. I moved to a bigger city for college and ever since then I've spent most of my time here living it up with the PADs while he's stayed back in our small hometown.

Both he and his brother have built a fortune starting their own construction company. They eat out at the fanciest restaurants, drive sweet cars, live in a beautiful home, and can throw around money at will (they can make it rain basically). But even with all the success they've achieved financially, they are unhappy and aren't even close to being satisfied with their lives. Needless to say, since the 4th grade our paths have really diverged. They were more concerned with working on their wealth while I put more emphasis on my health. Their social lives have become non-existent and their dating lives are something similar to Steve Carrell's in the 40 Year Old Virgin.

Recently it's been a mission of mine to turn his life around. Teaching him everything I know about positivity, happiness, women, and just making the most of life. We've had some really productive talks and his mindset has been slowly changing but progress when it came to women was nil. I'd make trips back to my hometown to go hit the bars with him but all the nights have been the same. Every time I'd point to a girl for him to practice on he'd give me a reason why he doesn't want to; she's too heavy, her nose looks crooked, she doesn't know how to dress, and so on. Every time I'd ask him who he actually wanted to approach he'd point to the hottest girl in the fuckin' room...

This is where I had my epiphany about why a lot of guys fail and get stuck when it comes to understanding women. Guys are shallow so we want the hottest girl in the room. We know we're awesome and we hope that the girl with the round ass, big perky tits, and perfect face can somehow peer into our souls and see that.

Sorry guys, girls are amazing but they don't have super powers.

Except X-tina, she's got mad super powers

It happens all the time where the guy who thinks he should be dating the girls in the 9 to 10 range doesn't even possess the "game" required to bag himself a 4. They are so clueless because they let their egos get in the way and are preventing themselves from gaining valuable knowledge, confidence, and experience. Getting good with women is exactly like a video game, you can't beat the final boss until you beat all his little minions and get your shit together. For some reason we expect to slay the dragon with a wooden stick. There aren't any cheat codes in real life unfortunately.

For a variety of reasons we won't give the time of day to the girl who would give us just that. I think it's all in how you look at it. If you exclusively approach girls you want to be your girlfriend then it's likely you will be alone for a very long time and will eventually have to settle for less than what you had in mind. If you approach every girl as a way of building your experience and confidence then not only will you have met and probably hooked up with a lot of girls, you'll eventually have what it takes to snag that Perfect 10 you always dreamed of.

Charity work...always a win win situation

I've hooked up with lots of girls who I would never date but for me it helps build my confidence and it's all in good fun. I wouldn't have nearly as many stories if I had the typical mindset that most guys do. The PADs and I like to think of it as charity work. Hooking up with a sub-par girl makes us feel good, makes her feel great, and everyone wins =). Next time you're out be more open minded and don't treat approaching girls as a way of finding your future wife, instead treat it as a way of improving yourself. You are not obligated to anything. It is not a sin to approach a girl strictly for a good conversation. Yeah I know you're looking to get laid but how are you gonna get there if you can't even hold a decent conversation with a "practice girl". I urge all guys out there feeling hopeless to throw your ego aside and practice, practice, practice. Don't be afraid to approach that wallflower that no one is talking to, most of the time they're the nicest people there. Who knows she may even have a smoking hot friend.

Back to the story about my friend...

Through my urging he asked out a girl who he's been friends with since high school. Granted, she's not the best looking girl in the world but she's got an awesome personality and more importantly she makes him feel good. They've gone on 3 dates so far and things have gone really well. I've already noticed a giant change in him. He talks louder, speaks more clearly, his energy level is up, and his overall mood is slowly polarizing. The experience has essentially given him a renewed hope. Yeah she isn't the type of girl he had in mind so marriage isn't in the picture but that was never his intention. He just wanted to build his confidence in himself and in women. He's achieved just that and I couldn't be any more happier for him.

The moral of the story is...stretch your standards a bit now so you can raise them however high you want later. =)

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How To Achieve More By Being An Underachiever

2011-09-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this article from my computer at work. I've literally done next to nothing today but surf the net, eat pizza, and blog. It's not that I work at some Google-esque company. It's actually the opposite but I'm getting away with it because today marks my last day. Starting in a couple hours I'll be joining the league of unemployed twenty-somethings fighting over positions in the corporate world.

People keep asking me what I'll be doing next and whether or not I'm worried about finding another job. My answer is simply "No, I'm not worried. I'll go wherever life takes me." These individuals and a lot of you reading this probably assume I'm an underachiever; that I do enough just to get by and I'm lazy. I'm sure you also think I'm out of my mind to have such a nonchalant attitude towards being jobless. In my eyes you're the bat shit crazy ones.

Best put that 4 year degree to work then =*(

I'm an overachiever...

I've always known this but my definition of underachieving and overachieving doesn't fit the general populations'. In my world, being content working nine to five everyday for an accounting firm is underachieving. Nine to five would mean giving up on my dreams and aspirations i.e. underachieving. Being a CPA making six figures is not all that appealing to me. Sure I can study my ass off, get my CPA, work hard every day hoping my bosses take notice, and then declare myself an overachiever but in the end what have I actually achieved? I've achieved something I'm not really passionate about. That right there, my friends, is the definition of an underachiever.

Happy hour...because all the other hours aren't so much

Throughout elementary school we were constantly reminded to believe in ourselves but somewhere along the way we lost that ability. We have forgotten how to believe in ourselves. It's the very reason 95% of us slave away at jobs we pretend to enjoy. It's also the reason people give me the stink face when I tell them I'm not worried about not having a job. I know they don't believe in their abilities enough to be as confident in my shoes. Along with hundreds of millions of others, playing it safe and working at an unfulfilling job is the only solution for them.

I truly believe in myself and my abilities. I know that if I were to ever fall into a bad situation, I can get myself out. People have a tendency to sell themselves short which is why they are so risk averse. We highly underestimate our abilities. I understand my resiliency and it's the reason I don't worry and can have such a positive outlook on my future.

My 2nd grade teacher gave me permission to achieve greatness and now that she's no longer around I give myself that permission.

I'm really looking forward to my period of unemployment. Yea I'll probably spend an hour each day researching job openings and sending out resumes to companies (I do have bills and loans to pay back after all). The other twenty three hours is free for me to spend time blogging, writing music, and seriously working on building a business. All things which I LOVE doing. While most people in my situation will stress themselves out patiently waiting for a phone call from an HR department, I will be working so that I won't have to rely on these phone calls. The longer an HR department takes to schedule an interview, the better.

We possess the amazing ability of underestimating our abilities so get rid of that useless skill you've developed throughout the years. Start to truly believe in yourself again. Become an "overachiever" by being an "underachiever" and don't settle for less than what you deserve.

Just have faith in your abilities and you will be amazed by what you can accomplish and how limitless the world will seem again.

Stay Perfect and stay thirsty my friends...

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Why Every Asian Dude Should Party In Minnesota Before He Dies

2011-09-12T13:18:00.000-07:00

When you think of Minnesota, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Probably the Twin Cities, the Minnesota Vikings, the Mall of America, and the many lakes. All are great reasons to visit the Land of 10,000 Lakes but that's not why the PADs go...

Every time we announce our plans to vacation in Minnesota, we're met with confused looks followed by, "What's there to do in Minnesota?". This is where I proceed to smile inside and think to myself, "Ah my naive friend, one day when you make the pilgrimage you too will understand this little gem in the Midwest."

It is the land of Hmong people. One of the largest populations outside Asia in fact and a place for us to flex our PAD muscle. If there would ever be such a thing as a PAD Olympics, this would be the perfect arena. The games would consist of seeing how many numbers you can get, how many girls you can make out with, how many girls you can take home, how many robberies you can pull on other guys, or how many girls you can KLP.

Alright, I've got your attention. I bet you're asking yourself how this could be possible.

Let me tell you exactly why you should venture into this uncharted territory...

First off, the ratio. I've never been much of a math person but ratios tend to be important to me. During July 4th weekend and the week of Thanksgiving, Hmongs from around the country flock to Minnesota to party it up (I love nothing more than a group of girls on vacation). Like baby sea turtles to water, it's instinctual. When we first stepped foot into a Minneapolis club on Hmong night it was like seeing a unicorn. You only dream they exist but you never think you'd actually get to see one. Our unicorn came in the form of seeing throngs of Asian women littered everywhere in the club. We haven't seen anything like it before or since. Just like a fat kid at a buffet, we always get our money's worth when clubbing in Minnesota.

Second, the lack of competition. I'm a pretty competitive dude and always welcome a good challenge but I have to admit, every now and then it's really nice to be able to dominate my competition without much effort. For this I can look to the Twin Cities. Minnesota provides us with more PUDs than we can count. They're out of shape, unambitious, insecure, and lack the most basic skills with women. For some reason, Minnesota is a breeding ground for your typical PUD and factors into our added levels of awesomeness. I almost feel like Superman who comes from a far away land and is here to save the women of Minnesota. Even an average Asian guy could feel like a king for a night roaming around these clubs. When we hit up our two favorite venues, Myth and Epic, we walk in knowing we're better than everyone there; guys all know this and so do their women. =)

Gotta keep the PUDs off the lawn

One last thing that makes Minnesota stand out from other states we've been to is the level of hospitality. There must be something in the water that makes the women here lower their guards and know their role. We've found women with over-inflated egos all across major cities coast to coast but it somehow skips over Minneapolis. If you've ever watched a TV show or movie set in ancient Greek or Roman times you've seen how well some men can be treated. They can have a harem of girls at every beck and call. That's how we feel in Minnesota. Not having to think about what to say when approaching is nice. Like sharks sensing blood, they aren't afraid to come up to us looking for a meal. The penis is put on the pedestal for a change.

It's been our little secret for the past few years and we figured it's finally time to share it with you all. If I haven't convinced you to give this hidden treasure a visit during July 4th or Hmong New Year (around Thanksgiving), don't worry there's no hard feelings, just one less PUD for us to worry about =)

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How To Take The First Step Towards Perfection

2011-08-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

Man, it can be lonely at the top...

I was out the other night for one of the PADs' girlfriend's birthday party. It was a spur of the moment thing. I wasn't familiar with her social circle so nearly everyone there was unfamiliar to me. The other PAD and I got to introducing ourselves and chatting up her friends for most the night. A good time overall. I talked with old friends, made new friends, took advantage of the $1 drinks, infiltrated a group of hot pharmacy students, and effortlessly got a number. Even with all the makings of a great night I still went home with a sense of uneasiness. The great time was trumped by a realization I had....most guys are fuckin' lame excuse-making babies. Let me explain...

The past few years I've lived by a certain code. I decided that I wouldn't let negativity into my world. Part of following the code meant I had to surround myself with amazing people, and that's exactly what I did. I spend all my time between my family or amazingly positive fun people. In doing so, you tend to forget how "real" people are.

So when I got to mingling, I was once again brought to reality. I was introduced to two PUDs. Naturally, whenever a PAD talks to a PUD, the PUD recognizes the PAD status and ends up asking for advice. As always, we're happy to impart our knowledge onto these lost souls.

The first guy we met was overweight and claimed to have "tried everything" to get fit. He claims to work out 2.5 hours a day (total nonsense). As we gave him advice on how we stay so godly, we heard excuse after excuse. We would say "Don't eat carbs", he would reply "I can't live without rice". When we say, "We only work out three days a week", he would say "You guys have good genetics". He didn't want to believe it was possible for him to lose weight.

The second PUD we talked to was having girl problems (I feel bad for you son) and claims to only date the best of the best. I didn't know why seeing as how he was a total chump. He is apparently dating/talking to a hot blond and is in competition with another guy for her heart. We go on about how he needs to go for the gold. Stop playing games and stop trying to be "Mr. I'm Too Cool" because "Mr. I'm Too Cool" loses out on a lot of opportunities. We tell him to send her a sweet flirty text and he proceeds to give us tons of resistance just on that small suggestion. He then goes on a five minute rant about how he doesn't want to change.

This is what put me in a mental funk. Men aren't men these days. They can be as stubborn as children.

Both cases were similar in that they could both improve upon their situations yet they automatically disqualified themselves from the start. One guy blaming his genetics and work hours, while the other stating he doesn't want to change and pretends to be completely happy with himself. People are resistant to change because they can't be honest with themselves. Being honest, means admitting your flaws. Instead, the easy route is to act like a helpless victim. The easy route ends up being the route of inaction. They allowed themselves to fall into their situations and aren't man enough to own up to it. Owning up would require making a change and we all know making excuses is much easier.

I hear it's a great read

This laziness is a result of the ego (aka our kryptonite). It's the reason PUDs exist in this world. Once you learn to master your ego, your life will dramatically improve. To conquer it requires recognizing it. Every time you find yourself being held back by internal dialogue, think to yourself, "Is my ego stopping me from doing this?" In one form or another the answer is always yes. Learn to ask yourself this question a lot but more importantly, learn to bypass the ego by taking action and doing what you want. If you're overweight, it is your ego denying the fact that you need to take drastic steps towards a healthier you. If you're afraid to ask the hot blonde out on a date, it is your ego keeping you from doing so because it wants to be protected from harm. The more you make yourself aware of this, the more you will realize how meaningless your ego can be.

You see, when you're a PAD, you don't think like everyone else. We live by taking risks, not making excuses, being positive, and taking direct control of our lives. We forget that the rest of the world is not like that, so it's natural to get a little jaded. A PAD is someone who is never truly satisfied. They check their pride at the door and are on a constant mission to improve all areas of their life. That mindset is the only thing that allows them to grab the bull of life by the balls.

Stop making excuses for yourself and start taking action towards a more perfect you. The first step towards being a PAD is admitting you're not =)

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Stop Looking Like A Wire Hanger, Start Looking Like A Man

2011-08-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

I want to briefly rant about something I've noticed a lot of Asians are guilty of and I'm sure all of us at some point in our lives have committed this heinous crime. I still have pictures from my freshman year in high school where I want to travel back in time and just punch myself in the face. It breaks my heart to walk around the city and still see victims walking around completely oblivious to how they look.

I'm talking about the "I'm A Wire Hanger" syndrome. You know what I'm talking about. It happens when you decide to throw on a large sized shirt on your 130lb frame. It looks something like this:

Kind of beats the purpose of wearing a sleeveless

I can somewhat see the logic behind this. Your physique rivals that of a prepubescent so what better way to hide it than to wear a shirt two sizes too big? That makes sense right? Wrong. Hiding your physique in this manner only makes you look more feminine than you already do. Be proud of whatever you have and accentuate it by wearing clothes that actually fit. Meaning clothes that hug your body; from your biceps, your armpits, and somewhat your torso. Properly fitting clothes can create an illusion of extra pounds of muscle on your physique. It can accentuate your slender profile and make you look like a regular at your local LA Fitness. Vintage Fit, Slim Fit, and Modern Fit should be your favorite words when buying clothes.

He's a flaming FAD (Fashionable Asian Dude)

I'm 5'10" and hover around 150-155lbs. I have a hard time finding shirts that fit my physique well. Not to mention I have really broad shoulders for a guy my size so finding the perfect t-shirt is a nightmare. I have a few stores that I go to regularly because they actually don't cater to the morbidly obese. H&M and Heritage (the male version of Forever 21 for those who don't know) are two of my personal favorites. The clothes fit well and the prices leave room to pay for overpriced dinner dates =)

If you are really having a hard time finding shirts that fit, maybe that's a sign you should try putting on some good ol' lean muscle mass.

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Why I Have Never Been "Rejected" In My Entire Life...

2011-08-16T19:40:00.000-07:00

There's no other word in the English dictionary more frightening to grown men than the word 'rejection'. The fear of rejection is the most important but difficult aspect of your game to overcome in order to be truly successful with women. Overcoming a fear of rejection requires two things...

First, it takes developing a positive and healthy mindset. A great mindset is achieved once you are internally validated, meaning you don't base your self-worth off of outside influences and experiences. You accept the person that you are wholly and completely and no one can shake that foundation. There are countless numbers of books you can read, videos you can watch, and audio tapes you can listen to to help achieve this. The internet is for more than mindless porn.

He who cares the least gets the girl

Secondly, overcoming rejection requires going out and being rejected. Like any skill, it takes practice and getting used to. The more you are rejected, the more you realize how ridiculous it is to be affected by it. You will begin to see that your fear is completely exaggerated and illogical, and ideally you will eventually become unphased by it.

These go hand in hand. You can read all the books and listen to all the audio tapes you want but they will not make as much of an impact if you never risk rejection in the first place. Likewise, you can go out and get rejected a bunch of times in hopes of "getting used to" the sting but for those who don't have a positive mindset, you risk developing an unhealthy outlook. If you don't know how to cope with it mentally, it can affect you in a negative manner.

A few weeks ago I was watching an interview of lifestyle guru Brad Branson and his take on rejection. There was one thing he said that really struck a chord in me. He said there is no such thing as rejection, only misunderstandings and this resonated with my own beliefs.

"Who da' man?"

For a long time it's been my firm belief that every guy has in him, the capability of scoring an amazingly hot girl. The reason rejection occurs is because girls fail to see the greatness that we possess and this happens only because we fail to put it on display. Every guy has amazing qualities within himself but it's just a matter believing in yourself enough to show it. It is a matter of taking a risk and laying it all out on the table. The more of your true-self that comes through, the more attraction you will build in girls.

Build it and they will come.

There is little difference between a guy who is naturally good with women and a guy who has no success with women at all. The naturally attractive man just knows his strengths and isn't afraid to put them on display. While the unattractive man is too afraid to show his strengths in fear of rejection. This is the only difference.

Remember that you have never been rejected in your life, only your greatness misunderstood...

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How To Make Out With A Girl In Under 1 Minute

2011-08-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

Can you remember the last time you've made out with a girl at a club within a minute of meeting her? If the answer lies somewhere between "no" and "never" then I know one thing is certain, you aren't utilizing those sexy (insert eye color here) eyes of yours. Maintaining eye contact is one of the deadliest and most under looked tools in your arsenal.

If there is one thing you should MAKE SURE you do at a club, this is it. We've made out with countless girls just by showing them we weren't afraid to eye fuck them (which can conveniently lead to the real kind of fucking). Clubbing is a whole different monster, the music is obnoxiously loud, the girls are incoherently drunk, and no one wants to hear about your job so what works for you at the coffee shop or park is thrown out the window.

So powerful even cage fighters avoid it

So how does it work? The next time you're out at your favorite spot and happen to make eye contact with the hottie across the room, DON'T LOOK AWAY and MAINTAIN THE EYE CONTACT. Make HER be the one to break it. But don't confuse staring with eye contact. There is a fine line between being the creeper and the confident PAD. So how do you easily avoid this little pitfall? With a little smile, a smirk. Walk around with it constantly; pretend you are the Joker from Batman. When you make contact with her eyes, make sure you throw her a quick smile. It is a deadly combination that will have her flustered and ultimately more attracted as it is not something she is used to. This exudes an aura of confidence. She will either smile back at you or look away. If she smiles back, that's you're cue to go up to her. If she just looks away, you've still won because "the seed has been planted”. I wish I could elaborate on this more but really, it is that simple.

I discovered a simple tactic a few years back for picking up girls in the club. I make eye contact, smile, and walk by. No words, no offering her a drink, no grinding, just a glance and a smile. If she is even remotely interested she will be keeping her eye out for me. When I spot her again I lock eyes, smile, and continue walking as if I am not interested, just friendly and confident. Now she is going nuts! She wants a piece. “Who the hell is that guy?" "Why won’t he just come over and talk to me?" "What does a girl have to do to get some attention around here?” All the while a thousand other dudes are loading her up with drinks trying to win a piece of her heart. At that point, go up to her whenever you please.

Sorry suckers her heart belongs to me now =)

Unless you own an empire, please do not imitate

I've had girls walk up to ME to start up a conversation, girls have bought ME drinks, and I've had instant make-outs just by deploying this tactic.

Most of us can't do this, it is our natural reaction to look away because we're afraid they might catch us staring. Maintaining eye contact is a test that 95% of guys will fail. Be that 5%. Employ this everywhere; at the mall, the grocery store, at church, etc. Within a split second girls will see the inner PAD and their attraction to you will skyrocket.

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The 3 Golden Rules To Becoming The Perfect Wingman

2011-08-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

The last time the Perfect Asian Dudes partied in Minnesota for July 4th weekend we were in a "recession". I'm not talking about the American economy but us, the PADs, were in a "recession". Basically, we tend to have cycles where we'll all have girlfriends for a period and similar to the planets aligning, we'll all break up with them in unison. I consider it a "recession" when the majority of us are shackled up. So for our Minnesota vacation this past year everyone was in love bird mode and brought their girlfriends along. I was the 11th wheel. It didn't bother me though since I was still super pumped to go out. I've heard epic stories from the other guys about how ridiculous Minneapolis can be. I knew I was gonna make shit happen regardless, the guy to girl ratio just didn't allow for nothing to happen.

When we hit the clubs, the other PADs behaved and partied with their girlfriends while I ventured off on my own to creep as much as possible. Both nights, the girl to guy ratio was about 5:1 but what was even better was the Perfect Asian Dude to Pretty Ugly Dude ratio was 1:100. I like those odds =). I ended up approaching every half decent looking group of girls I possibly could. It was biblical, like David vs. Goliath. Little ol' me approaching groups of 5-8 girls with no Robin to my Batman. I would get in good with the group but eventually shift my attention to the hottest one. As soon as her friends would notice the shift, a radar would go off, and it was game over. She'd get pulled away fast (girls are such jealous beings). I was able to make out with a couple girls but as soon as their friends would turn around and see us sucking face that would be the last time I see them for the rest of the night.

He's got the money, the fame, the women, and the Wingman

Since I had no PADs to provide back up I decided to make friends with some random dudes at the clubs. Decent looking guys who were well dressed. There I was with a posse of guys I've never met before and no idea of their abilities. As expected, I would've done better without them. We'd go up to a group, make our introductions, and then they'd freeze in fear and eventually walk away leaving me to fend for myself. Thanks guys. It was okay though because I end up learning a valuable lesson on every vacation I take. That weekend I learned that one should never take for granted the value of a capable Wingman. I had an awesome time in MN but I can only imagine how much better it could've been if I had a few good Wingmen with me.

I've gone out enough to know that most guys don't know how to properly Wingman. It's why we PADs stick together. We bring each other success. The Pilot will have to swerve through cock blocks and it is up to the Wingman to gun them down to make things easier. Simply, be the anti-cock block. For guys who are clueless or think they have a clue, here are PAD's golden rules to being a proper Wingman:

I can't recall when his picture was taken but it's a personal favorite

Rule #1: Only speak highly of the Pilot and never ever badmouth him
The job of the Wingman is to essentially talk up the Pilot and make him look as awesome as he possibly can. Badmouthing or putting your Pilot down, even if it's meant as a joke, is PUD-like behavior. It ends up making the both of you look bad. It's happened several times before where I've gone out with a non-PAD who is suppose to Wingman for me but ends up being a cock block himself. They'd try to be funny by poking jokes at my expense and using self deprecating humor. Basically doing whatever it takes to get girls to laugh (classic desperate behavior). Needless to say I've had long talks with these friends about their Wingman abilities.

Rule #2: Be able to make cock blocks feel special regardless of their looks or personality
Girls are jealous beings and a lot of times when they see their hot friend getting all the attention, they'll do everything in their power to see your Pilot fail strictly because they want that attention for themselves. Every Wingman should be able to "take one for the team". Know how to make the cock blocks feel special no matter their looks or personality. Flirt as hard as you can. Be the distraction your Pilot needs. Remember that you're not obligated to to hook up with them.

Rule #3: Know when to step back and be the Wingman
A big problem that is far too common is that guys all end up fighting for the same thing, or girl rather. We don't know when to share and because of this greedy behavior no one wins. It's like five bums fighting over a loaf of bread; by the time they're done fighting over it, the loaf is in crumbs and all over the floor. The most democratic route is to leave it up to the girl to decide. Whoever the girl naturally gravitates towards should be the Pilot. All others should assume the role of Wingmen. Maybe when you meet the next group of girls you can then try to switch roles.

Remember that we're all in this together. Knowing how to be a good Wingman is essential to being a Perfect Asian Dude. So if I bump into you and need a Wingman, don't you fuck it up for me.

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The Perfect Asian Dudes vs. The "Yellow Fever" Strippers

2011-08-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

It was our first night in New Orleans and as is customary for anyone looking for a good time in the city we strolled down Bourbon Street to check out the action...

Our first objective was to load up on Hurricane and Grenades, the two drinks NO is known for. They were no joke, deceptively dangerous. All 6 of us were buzzing and when all 6 of us get drunk, epic events seem to follow..

Darling I'd still catch a grenade for youuu!

After walking a few blocks from our hotel we spotted what we were hoping to see, and just as those "Girls Gone Wild" videos promised, New Orleans delivered. Girls hanging on a balcony dancing and shaking their asses as if they were trying to get back at their overprotective fathers. There were 3 of them. A black girl in a tight corset, a light-skinned indian girl in a yellow tank top, and a girl who is mixed with all types of nationalities who could've told me she was conceived at an orgy and it would've made sense. All flashing their tits for plastic beads. Classic...There we were standing among a sea of middle aged men hoping that seeing bare breasts without paying a cover charge would make the trip worth it. Seeing bare tits is nice and all but the novelty dies off quick so we were ready to leave for something more interesting, but instead it found us...

Because to our surprise, they singled us out and shouted to us, "Come up here!". Out of all the people down below, they chose us to come up. What an honor =) The six of us run into the building and up the flight of stairs to an empty bar, grab six beers, and dash to the balcony. Turns out these girls are strippers from Memphis and it was also their first night in New Orleans. Needless to say both groups made like tourists and we partied our asses off. We made out with them, took body shots, got lapdances, grinded, and took photos that I hope never reach the unsuspecting eyes of a family member. It was turning out to be an epic night. To top it all off, they all confessed to being stricken with "Yellow Fever". Strippers with asian fetishes...we couldn't have asked for more. It all made sense, they saw the PAD in us and couldn't resist.

After getting kicked out of the bar by the owner for not following the rules (apparently they weren't a fan of the dirty dancing and body parts being exposed inside the bar) we take them back to our hotel. One bedroom shared by six full-sized guys (we travel on a budget). From there, myself and another PAD claimed our women. Only the two of us since the mixed stripper had to split for reasons I don't really remember or care to. I got the east Indian and he got the black stripper. Our room had two queen beds so on one bed there's four guys pretending to sleep and on the other, two guys and two strippers pretending there aren't four other guys in the room.

Lights went out and we went to town. The discrete slurping and bedsheets ruffling got louder and louder with no regard to anyone trying to sleep but I knew the other guys wouldn't have it any other way =). What the other couple was doing mere inches away from me was all a blur since I was too focused on getting my stripper naked. After a couple of minutes of making out and dry humping I took her jeans and thong off. Now around this time I was still fresh from a break up with an ex-girlfriend and before her I was never a big fan of going down on girls. She changed all that for me so going to New Orleans I was still gung ho about eating girls out. The thoughts of the ex and the heat of the moment must've gotten the best of me because I dove my head in between her legs as if I haven't eaten for days.

Worst idea ever...now I don't regret much about my life but this was an incident I can clearly say I wish I avoided. If there's one thing I learned in New Orleans it's this: my mouth works faster than my brain.

I don't even know how to describe the taste. All the old cliches used to describe a bad tasting vag can't fully capture the wretchedness of the one I was trying to please. Raw or rotten fish would be a compliment and outright downplay the foulness. I would have much rather sucked on a decaying fish.

I wish you were her...

I can't blame her though, it was their first night in New Orleans also. They had a long drive from Memphis, they've been drinking since noon, and dancing all night. Of course it would create a diabolical concoction within the undergarments right? It can't naturally taste this bad...right? Why she didn't shower before heading out that night, I don't know. At least I like to think she didn't shower.

Whatever the case, I knew I had to PAD the fuck up. I was trying to tell myself that it was all just in my head, but sadly that was not the case. It was all in her cooter...and then some. For anywhere between 5-10 seconds which felt like minutes, I gave a couple short strokes and it hit me immediately. My gag reflexes were uncontrollable. "OouueehHH!" "OOoouuueEHHH!". I knew that if I went in for another swoop it would be the end of it for me. Her lower body would be covered with the remnants of a Po' Boy sandwich. The novelty of having a one night stand with a stripper didn't play out the same way as it did in my head. When caught up in the excitement you tend to forget that strippers are people too, with real people issues...like basic hygiene.

After deciding to throw in the towel and with my face still staring up at my maker, I regained my composure and went back up to her. She gave me a kiss on the lips and said "that's enough, goodnight". It was incredibly nonchalant and I was utterly confused.

Did she know what I was getting myself into and didn't tell me?

Didn't she just hear me gag uncontrollably?

I guess it was as embarrassing for her as unpleasant for me. I was completely exhausted at this point and decided to pass out like everyone else but it was hard to sleep that night. Not only because I was sharing a bed with three other people but because I couldn't help but think how many men before me have fallen at the same hands. After a few hours of tossing and turning I eventually passed out like everyone else but with the taste of bitter defeat on my tongue...what a great way to start off our trip to NOLA.

You just gotta know when to throw in the towel

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PAD Technique: The K.L.P.

2011-07-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

It's a warzone out there....Going out and gaming girls is similar to going to war. You're surrounded by grenades, landmines, tanks, etc. (Hurray for Jersey Shore!) and all you can rely on are the few good men by your side and the weapons in your arsenal. That said, you should make damn sure you've got the most effective and reliable tools at your disposal and ready to use at any time. Maximum damage is what we're trying to achieve here.

One such tool that has never failed us is codenamed KLP, short for Kiss Lift Picture. It was discovered during one of the many trips to Minnesota by two of the PADs. In their drunken haze they used it to approach almost every group of girls at the club. They would skip the formalities, go up to a group of girls, and ask if the girls wanted a picture with them. Pretty bold huh? Depending on how cool the girls were, they'd either jump in the picture right away or take a picture for the girls first and as a reward jump in for a picture with them right after. Either way, eventually the camera is passed off to some chump standing nearby.

The magic happens once the picture is about to be taken. Let me break it down:

Step 1: Pose for the camera as you normally would when you're surrounded by lovely ladies

Step 2: As soon as the flash is about to go off grab the nearest girl (preferably the hottest one) and lift her up in your arms like you just got married

Step 3: Plant a big wet kiss on the cheek/lips (the kiss on the cheek/lips is optional depending on how bold you're feeling)

It's even better if she KLP's you =P

There it is, KLP in 3 easy steps. Girls we've done this to always get a good laugh and it's a great way to warm up to a group. To top it all off, you've got yourself a sweet picture of the moment she fell in love with you <3. She'll probably look back at the picture and remember how much of a PAD you were. Now go out, do some damage, and let us know how it worked out for you

P.S. We are not responsible for any back injuries that may occur from misuse of this technique. Please use discretion. Don't lift any girls you wouldn't sleep with unless you're into that kind of thing =P

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Why You And Your Friends Look Like Creeps And How To Avoid It

2011-07-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Wolves hunt in packs and you should too!

Wolves are more successful when they're together and so are we. Get this, we actually prefer to go out WITHOUT GIRLS! Amazing isn't it? I'm probably gonna hear a lot of shit for this from guys who will say "but groups of guys who go out together look like a bunch of gays". Yea you're right, you probably will look that way because that's the mentality you already have. If that's how you view going out with your buddies then you'll probably end up just standing around in a circle jerk. The main reason groups of guys fail miserably when they're out together is because they forget the most important thing when going out...to have fun amongst your friends!

Jacob has the right idea. I guess you can learn something from Twilight

It's such a simple thing to do but for some reason so hard for guys when they're out drinking. It's an epidemic amongst the male population. You see it everywhere; a group of guys get to the club, grab their beers, and line up shoulder to shoulder at the wall just staring at girls. They don't even talk to each other! What do you think the hottie you're eyeballing will think? She'll see that you can't have fun with your friends and will get the impression that you and all your friends are just boring PUDs (Pretty Ugly Dudes).

What we PADs like to do and what you should do to avoid the dreaded 'creeper wall' is to have an epic pregame. When I say epic I mean EPIC. Take shots, get rowdy, do pushups; whatever it takes to create the party vibe so you can eventually bring the good feelings with you. A proper pregame will take us 45 minutes to 1 hour. Plenty of time for us to get a good buzz and talk about how much damage we're going to do =) Don't think of the night as you going to a party but rather you bringing the party. That's the mindset you should be in. With the right mindset and vibe you're basically just carrying the pregame to the club. We've been known to pregame harder than we game and sometimes the pregame is more memorable than the club or bar we went to.

What we've learned from experience is that when you're so focused on getting girls you actually inhibit yourself because you're thinking too hard and forget to let loose and have fun. You become your own worst enemy. Girls absolutely love groups of guys who can go out anywhere and have a blast amongst themselves without relying on the company girls. It exudes confidence and self-assurance. This is a big reason for PAD's success. When you're out with your friends having a good time, joking around, doing ridiculous dances, and being rowdy you're creating a magnet. A magnet that attracts girls...the almighty pussy magnet. They see the party and they want in. How can you turn them away at the door when they just want to party with you?

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