care and feeding

Enter title here

Simon — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 07:32:34 +0000

Toasting-with-the-broiler anxiety crisis.

Finding-peanut-butter-in-fridge frustration crisis.

No-clean-cutlery-swish-around-in-the-dish-soaking-sink grossness crisis.

Hungry-but-too-fat-cat conflicted feelings crisis.

2:30am what-am-I-doing-with-my-life crisis.

Crisis crisis.

Belated #WarOnChristmas and Unrelated Titles

Simon — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 19:46:47 +0000

For Christmas I asked for a single word that fits on a poster and identifies anyone marginalized by sexual orientation and/or gender identity issues and their allies without offending or excluding anyone.

Plus more twitter status characters.

OMGIBA

Simon — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:17:07 +0000

I feel like my tweets need a translation feed.

“My whole life is made of flame retardant plastic” = “Everything about me is fake and I don’t have a boyfriend.”

That would be… what? A superiority complex because I don’t think people get me, or an inferiority complex because I don’t think I can communicate well?

Dispatch

Simon — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 03:56:58 +0000

Santa wants you to know that just because he learned how to email Mrs. Clause with his blackberry doesn’t mean that he goes in for all this social media bullshit, and this whole “bad in real life, good on twitter” stuff will not fly. He can see you when you’re sleeping. He’s the original dudecondo.com subscriber. Get real.

two steps forward

Simon — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:45:49 +0000

i hate everything you love.

Ugh

Simon — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 16:37:35 +0000

you: You should have planned for that.
me: You should have known I wouldn’t.

my cottage can beat up your cottage

Simon — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 14:33:12 +0000

Our cottage is on the lake too… but it also comes with wifi, cable, a hot-tub and a full kitchen. And an extra family.

Others’ Anger is not Fun to Read About

Simon — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 03:21:42 +0000

I did all that work on a volunteer basis just to give you the opportunity to be an asshole about a service that you receive free of charge. So yeah, it’s great that we’ve each found a place for ourself.

Oh and P.S., fuck you.

dance camp(ing)

Simon — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:47:51 +0000

Cory: That shimmy thing you do with your shoulders is the second gayest thing I’ve ever seen.

Simon: What’s the gayest?

Cory: I don’t know… but Jason did it.

>140

Simon — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:50:42 +0000

The two dudes who are picking each other up in this Starbucks on the conversational premise that all Torontonians are assholes who refuse to talk to one another are warming my cold TO heart.

I also liked “I’m unemployed… but I’m a city planner.”