Perfectly Happy Mum

The challenges of being a parent

Perfectly Happy Mum — Tue, 29 May 2012 09:32:28 +0000

It’s been difficult to write about this particular challenge. Partly because I have self-censured stories about the boys a lot lately (which is another matter) and also because this is a total roller coaster. One which leads me to the worse extremes and then comes crashing back down to a lovely steady flow, and each time these extremes have been reached that’s when I felt the need to write, but then it’s all good and lovely again.

Anyway I need to talk about it today, even if only to process the situation externally.

V is an adorable little boy. He loves babies, he loves animals, he loves laughing, reading, joking and playing. When he is at his best, he is my pride and joy.

But then things go pear shape for a while. Usually it is a matter of a few days or a couple of weeks at most, but they are the most draining, challenging and exhausting of days. During these days all I am thinking about are ways to tackle the phase, ways to get through to him and to make him go back to the well behaved, funny boy that I love so much.

Right now we are in tantrum phase. When I say tantrums, I mean big, explosive, awfully difficult tantrums. I am the type of mum who has adopted the no-nonsense attitude to education, so a tantrum is generally dealt with ignoring the screaming child, walking away from the mad moment until he comes down and never give in.

Anything can spark a tantrum: a sweet or a toy not allowed, a “no” to something meaningless, anything he is obviously not happy with. He is doing this at pre-school too and they too find it hard to manage.

He is pretty good at keeping his temper to himself but every now and then he will throw something or hit someone. Of course hurting anyone is not tolerated and he knows that. When I observe him, what I see is frustration and not knowing how to deal with it. I am aware of Testosterone rushes, which I think is definitely affecting him.

His school teachers are worried for when he will start school in September. They are not sure he will be ready emotionally.

I, on the other hand think that this is going to be the best move for him. I believe he needs to have proper consequences to realise that there are things that are simply not allowed. I think that he will learn to manage his emotions better because he will have to, but how can I help him in the meantime?

I am totally lost. I am not sure what is the best way to react. I lose patience a lot of the time, then hate myself for it. When he goes to bed all I can do is curl into a ball and let it all go away to be ready for it the following morning. I am on edge all the time and find myself observing him all the time to see if and when he will switch.

I know it will stop again for a while so that helps, but the constant adaptation to his behaviour is becoming hard to cope with.

What are your techniques? What do you do to manage your children behaviour, especially for pre-schooler boys?

Glorious Sunday

Perfectly Happy Mum — Sun, 27 May 2012 21:29:38 +0000

This was the view from my sun lounger today. The temperature was just perfect, the kids entertained and happy, and the neighbours dead quiet for once. This felt like my perfect happy place…

Let’s talk about how you can help Niger right now!

Perfectly Happy Mum — Fri, 25 May 2012 09:26:49 +0000

This morning was another morning like any other morning. I woke up with the sound of one healthy happy little boy walking into our bedroom, followed by the second one shortly after.

As usual I was grumpy, because I was hot and kept being kicked in the back by these two little people trying to find themselves a place in our over crowded bed.

As usual I turned on the cartoons with the hope to quiet them a little and have a chance to slowly unfold my bruised body. I reached out for my phone in order to have my own entertainment. Like every morning Facebook is the first place I hang out, not that much has happened in my friends’ life since bedtime.

This morning I found new photos that Sian has added to her #ShareNiger album. There is something about knowing Sian and watching her report live from Niger, and it is that it becomes a reality you can almost touch. An unbearable reality.

Like a lot of us, I am not ignoring what is happening, I am simply running away from it. It hurts too much to watch the pain parents have to go through when their young child is dying of hunger.

It hurts to see people living in the most uncomfortable ways, having to struggle to even have water, let alone food. It hurts to face the fact that we are being spoilt in many ways and that our life is cluttered by things we don’t need but just want.

It hurts to feel that you are not being able to do anything about it.

And yet everyday we get on with our life. Our worries are mainly material, our health problem are taken care by some of the best healthcare system in the World.

Yet we complain. We complain that we won’t be able to water our garden and achieve lush green lawn because it didn’t rain enough. We complain because we are losing internet connection every now and then, when systems fail.

We complain because being a parent is tough and draining and exhausting. That sleepless nights are responsible for these bags that only miracle expensive cream will make vanish.

The truth is that we need to look outside of our own lives. People everywhere in the world are having it tougher one way or another.

The goal is not to dumb down anyone’s pain or reality. The aim is to make sure that no-one is left behind, that everyone is taken care of. That we all do something, something selfless, something full of positive intention and love.

This what right now the team of World Vision UK is doing.

We have a duty and it is to do anything possible to help no matter how big or small is our part, all of us together we can be so much stronger and send hunger, poverty and misery to F**CK OFF!

So come on, help exactly how you can, use your Social Media genius and your internet connection for something positive, talk about it, donate time and money, whatever is right, feels right for you!

Remember to be grateful every single day for what you are eating, drinking or spending (big or small). Remember to turn the tap off, to not over consume food, to avoid waste of any sort. Be an example for the next generation.

Photo Credit Sian To

Live chat with AXA PPP healthcare and Professor Nicholas S A Stuart

Perfectly Happy Mum — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:48:25 +0000

Summer is here! 27 Celsius Degrees, that’ Summer right?! Well it is that time of the year we need to talk about that all important fact: how do you protect yourself and your family from the dark side of the Sun? So I just want to take some time to share this with you.

Do you always know what to check in a suncream or how to check a mole? AXA PPP healthcare have planned an expert live chat on skin cancer to help people stay in the know this summer. An AXA PPP medical expert will be available to answer questions live on Tuesday the 29th of May at between 3pm and 5pm, click on this link to join the chat.

Professor Nicholas S A Stuart will be joining AXA PPP on the new Cancer Centre to discuss ways to prevent, diagnose and treat skin cancer. As a professor of Cancer Studies at Bangor University, and the author of 35 peer reviewed publications, our expert Professor Stuart will be ready to provide an answer.

Of course, after the live chat there will still be useful sun care guides on the be healthy section of the AXA PPP website to keep you informed – please report on any useful tips you find in here.

Participants can join the live chat on the Cancer Centre from 3pm – 5pm on Tuesday 29^th May. Anyone you can’t make it can get in touch through Facebook or Twitter, and AXA PPP get back to you with Professor Stuart’s answer shortly after the expert live chat.

So if you want to know everything you should know then join in!

Go to Corsica this summer!!

Perfectly Happy Mum — Sat, 19 May 2012 06:52:46 +0000

Why? because my friend Celine and two of her friends have created a concept that will help you have the best holiday ever!

They have just recently launched Friendly Corsica because they love their island so much that they want to share it with you the way you should discover it.

Corsica is an amazing Mediterranean island, one that I have the chance to live on when I was a really young girl. It is called l’Ile de Beaute (The Island of Beauty) and Celine will tell you all about why. She has a passion for her home and you can tell that just by looking at her eyes brightening up when she talks about it.

The idea behind their concept is that they taylor a stay exactly how you want it! All you have to do is fill in a questionnaire to give them an indication of who you are, what you like doing or seeing when on holiday and they will come back with the right place for you to stay and what to do when you are there.

They are your personal travel agent and local friend to ensure that you are having the best time. They don’t offer standard package, they create yours!

What Friendly Corsica offers:

Personalized advices, without any intermediary, on the phone or via e-mails, our goal is to create a friendly and trustworthy relationship with you!
Individual and customized trips, which will impart the real Corsica and will avoid mass tourism traps
The comforts of letting us organize your trip for you, with the safety of knowing that we will always choose authentic places
Values of conviviality and simplicity
A presence during your stay
The opportunity to enjoy a large range of experiences in one stay

So if you like a holiday made of delicious local gastronomy, sandy beaches, boat trips, hiking, discovering, you don’t need to look further than this! You can find the perfect holidays only a couple of hours from home.

Note: if you are flying from London, Easyjet offers amazing deals to either Bastia or Ajaccio.

The Music Box – Gotye

Perfectly Happy Mum — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:52:55 +0000

One of my favourite song at the moment is by Gotye, Somebody I used to know.

I have been listening to it quite a lot on Spotify but only yesterday I watched the video for the first time.

It totally mesmerised me. It is at the same time simple but portraying tons of emotions. The exchange between Gotye and Kimbra is full of these emotions you get when you witness two people who used to love each other starting to despise each other.

Cybher12, the day after…

Perfectly Happy Mum — Sun, 13 May 2012 06:31:53 +0000

It was fun, it was great, it was full of ideas and great content.

There are things I want to share with you and I will next week but right now I will simply enjoy a sunny day with my lovely family.

I want to thank and congratulate Sian and her super ladies, who have worked on a mammoth task which resulted in the first of many Cybher conferences I hope.

Also, Sian, thank you very much for the opportunity to present a session and for organising the best goodie bag ever!

Hope you ladies enjoy a well deserved break now.

Friends

Perfectly Happy Mum — Sat, 12 May 2012 07:36:27 +0000

One morning over a week ago, I was on a plane heading for Nice for a weekend with my girlfriends.

My two best friends. I don’t usually like the term best friend. In the past it has always resulted in deep disappointment but now I am older and more mature I am starting to understand what this truly means.

My two best friends are two strong amazing girls. The three of us couldn’t look more different from each other and our personalities complete each others. We all have different attitudes to life and sometimes offer a different perspective when it is needed most.

Our relationship is now 10yrs old, very close to 11 years old in fact, and it hasn’t been a steady river. We’ve had storms and we’ve had “breaks” but always found each others again.

Our strength is and has alway been our abilities to forgive, learn, adapt and start again but also to accept we are different.

We met at a time when we were all on the brink of becoming adults. We shared flats, parties, dirty laughs and tears over challenges that life has thrown at us.

What results of the last 10 years is a relationship based on trust and sisterhood.

These two girls are the only two people I can share holidays with, with the feeling I am almost with family.

I can’t say how much this means to me…

Photo credit: all the photos have shamelessly been taken from Caroline’s facebook page, the official reporter on this year’s trip (well she has the top notch camera so…)

CybHer 12, it’s tomorrow!

Perfectly Happy Mum — Fri, 11 May 2012 09:02:36 +0000

I am feeling excitement with a touch of anxiety.

I am excited because Cybher is one of those conferences that makes me want to jump up and down with a squeal. Imagine the people waiting for Harrods to open its doors on the first day of sales. Imagine their bodies pressurised against the doors about to explode! Imagine their heart racing with excitement waiting to discover plenty new amazing things! That’s how I feel right NOW!!

I am also anxious because I am running a session on something I am totally passionate about. But what if no one turns up? What if they don’t like me? What if they throw their shoes at me (preferably size 6, no heels, oh and if possible both of them at the same time).

I simply cant wait as I know I am going to see amazing bloggers that I haven’t seen in ages but I will also meet new ones…

So for the ones who will decide to come to MY session “Revamp your blog for less than £50″, which is at 15.50 in the Annex, then I will be delighted to welcome you there!

What we will be covering are simple design tweaks and changes that will instantly make your blog look stunning and professional. We will talk about the use of colours, fonts and graphics to speak the same language you are in writing. We will talk about being creative and how to use FREE tools to translate all that.

This presentation is based on (almost) 4 years of blogging, where I went from knowing nothing at all to now talk codes and other geeky stuff. This is all self taught knowledge based on the desire to achieve a sleek look on a budget. I am experiencing and learning daily and I promise to share and update EasyTechClub with lots of tutorials that will help you do the same.

This presentation is based on WordPress blogs, however the major part of the session will be talking about general skills that you can apply whether you are a Blogger, Typepad or WordPress user.

I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and I raise my coffee to our blogging success! (it’s way too early for gin…)

Go away Pirates!

Perfectly Happy Mum — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 10:32:12 +0000

This morning exercise was dedicated to fighting pirates and making sure they “never come back!”