1. I am really insecure about lots of things, but especially about how I am doing as your husband.
2. I worry that you are not happy with me and that one day you will leave me.
3. I’m scared that our kids may not turn out the way we hoped they would.
4. I never feel like I have enough time for you, our family, and work.  I feel like everyone wants something from me.
5. The reason I work so hard is to provide you and our family a life of security, joy, and safety, and to make you happy.
6. I often feel like you are not attracted to me.
7. I feel inadequate to be everything you ever wanted from a husband.
8. I’m afraid to tell you that I feel depressed, anxious, and sad, and that I compare myself to other husbands and fathers.
9. Your approval and affection is the one real thing in this life that gives me confidence in myself.
10. If you believe in me, I am unstoppable.

(This post was written by Clayton King – you can find more stuff written by Clayton on his blog, here is the link!)

#1 – I ABSOLUTELY LOVE what Jesus is doing in our church.  On the Sunday that Clayton spoke (May 6) I received a text from a young man in my high school discipleship group that I lead telling me that he was PUMPED because a guy in his Fuse small group received Christ when Clayton gave the invitation!  Well…this past Sunday night I received another text from him and the conversation went like this…

• Him:  ”Remember how my small group kid got saved last week”
• Me:  ”Yep”
• Him:  ”Just making sure”
• Him:  ”oh, and he brought his dad and he got saved tonight”

THAT NEVER GETS OLD!!!  Found People Find People!!!

#2 – Sunday was an INCREDIBLE Mother’s Day as we were able to focus on the fact that when we have a right relationship with Jesus it will allow us to have a right relationship with others.  I’ve been doing ministry for over 20 years and EVERY marriage problem that I’ve ever seen was the result of one or both people not actively walking with Jesus.  THE BEST thing we can do for our marriage (or our future marriage) is begin to ask Jesus to show us the areas where WE need to improve rather than complaining to Him about all of the things that are wrong with our spouse.

(Here is the video from the service that we showed to highlight what Ephesians 5:25 looks like when it is lived out…I can’t watch it without crying!)

#3 – This past series has been amazing…we’ve seen record attendance, hundreds of people surrender their lives to Christ and are already hearing a lot of excitement in regards to the “Eve & adam” series this fall where we will dive into what the Scriptures say to and about women.

#4 – The VISION EVENTS are happening THIS WEEK!!!  Last night we had one in Anderson for that campus and our Greenwood campus…and the schedule for the rest of the week is…

• Tonight (Tuesday) – Florence, 7pm
• Wednesday – Charleston, 7pm
• Thursday – Columbia, 7pm
• Saturday – Greenville, 7pm

I’m PUMPED about these events as I will be specifically sharing what we feel God has for our church in regards to our next steps…and I will also be sharing an announcement in regards to my future here at NewSpring Church that I am very excited about.  (I will also be sharing this announcement on Sunday in case you have to miss a vision event.)  We are going to reach 100,000 for Christ…and I’ve NEVER been more excited about our church than I am right now!

#5 – Thanks to everyone who has stopped by my Facebook page (right here) and left a comment since I have joined a few weeks ago.  And…if you haven’t yet, come on by…it took me some time but I finally joined the Facebook party!  (And…for the record, I never was against Facebook…it’s just that I have about as much technological wisdom as a pile of dirt!)  :-)

That’s it for today…I LOVE MY CHURCH!

When conflict use to arise with me and someone in the office I used to walk to my desk, log on to my computer and fire off an abusive email, several problems with this…

• It is the act of a coward, I would do this so that I would avoid a eye to eye conversation.
• It removes the fact that I am actually dealing with another person…if I type an email I don’t have to look them in the eye and removing that obstacle allows me to say things to them through typing that I would NEVER say to them in person.
• It often drags out the conflict way longer that it should be.
• It can easily be misinterpreted, thus causing new conflicts.

#2 – Handle Conflict Quickly – The Bible is VERY clear in Ephesians 4:25-26 that we are not to allow the sun to go down while we are angry.  If we allow something to fester inside of us what usually comes out of that is NEVER pretty.

#3 – Always Assume The Best About The People You Work With – If you don’t get anything else in this article then PLEASE get this, LOVE ALWAYS ASSUMES THE BEST ABOUT SOMEONE…ALWAYS!  If you hate/can’t stand the people you work with then THE BEST thing to do is to begin to ask the Lord, “what is wrong with MY OWN heart?”

#4 – Remember that Email Does Not Work!  

#5 – Stop Expecting People To Read Your Mind – Often times people have said something hurtful to me that they did not perceive as hurtful.  I would become angry with them and actually tell myself, “well, they should just know that hurt me!”  NEWS FLASH – THEY DON’T KNOW, and they won’t know unless I am man enough to look them in the eye (because email does not work), assume the best about them (which automatically assumes they didn’t mean to hurt me) and CALMLY walk them through why what they said wounded me.

#6 – Stop Waiting For Them To Approach You – If you know there is conflict and you know there is a problem to be solved but you are “waiting on the right time” or “waiting on them to come to me” then I would encourage you to read what Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24.  Maturity is when a person is willing to seize responsibility instead of just waiting on something to happen.

#7 – Never, EVER Go Public When You Have Not Even Attempted To Talk In Private – Too often people take their conflicts online when they have never even attempted to handle them in a private matter (sort of goes against what JESUS actually said in Matthew 18:15 as the first step in dealing with conflict!)  People are way too quick these days to read/hear something that someone says and automatically fire off a tweet or blog post without ever attempting to have a conversation with the person that they assume “got it wrong,” causing them to feel like they need to be the savior of the world by jumping to conclusions and making accusations about things that they actually have zero knowledge of.

#8 – And finally, do not forget that Email does not work!  

It hurts…deeply.

Someone who was close to you and who you trusted walked away…and they did not do so silently, they left making a lot of noise, saying things about you that simply were not true.  They called people and spoke lies/half truths about you.

They sent out mass emails…

And at some point you felt like everyone in the world believed them, hated you and ultimately wanted to see you fail.

You know what Jesus said about loving your enemies…but it’s hard, really hard because the wound that they left runs deep!

You see them (or those influenced by them) in a public and you want to crawl into a hole and hide because it is so awkward and you just don’t want to talk about it anymore.

You isolate yourself and convince yourself that you can never actually trust anyone again because of how bad it hurts.

Ever felt like this?

Are you going through this right now?

It’s happened to me a few times in the past 20 years of ministry!

I’m not going to lie…the pain associated with this is VERY real!

It does make you question whether or not it is worth it to keep “running the race” and causes you to want to never trust anyone again.

So how do you get past this and move on to what God has called you to?

It’s pretty simple really…we’re given a GREAT model in the way Jesus handled His betrayal.

Judas was one of the twelve…he was close to Jesus, he heard His words, witnessed His miracles and still chose to walk away.

And how did Jesus respond?

Simple…He moved on!

He didn’t allow the betrayal of Judas to sideline His ministry.  (It actually served Him in a way that enhanced His ministry!  Think about it, without the betrayal there would have been no crucifixion, and without the crucifixion there would be no resurrection!!!)

Isn’t it just like God to use something that the enemy meant to use to destroy us for HIS glory and our good?  (See Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28-31!)

And while this has distracted you it does not have to destroy you!

Pour out your heart to God, tell Him exactly how you feel, be completely honest like David was in so many of the Psalms and ask Him to make things right in His eyes and in His time…and then get back to work.

We cannot be effective leaders if we are more obsessed with the pain of our past than the potential of our future.

Betrayal will happen if you are in leadership long enough…but the leader who is defined by it will always wallow around in self pity and defeat while the leader who is sharpened by it will allow God to use it to conform him to His image and shape him into a better leader.

The Apostle Paul had a friend named Demas (Colossians 4:14, Philemon 1:24) who abandoned/betrayed him because of “his love for the world” (II Timothy 4:10) and yet Paul still finished well (II Timothy 4:6-8) and trusted the Lord when everything else seemed to be going crazy (II Timothy 4:16-18!)

If He brought you to it then HE WILL LEAD YOU THROUGH IT (Philippians 1:6!)  Don’t give up on God or the people He has called you to serve…stay the course, life is too short and hell is too hot to allow discouragement to turn into defeat!

#1 – I absolutely loved having Clayton King with us at our church this past Sunday as he dove into, “The Man Mystery, Three Things That Every Man Needs!”  It was SO AWESOME to see Jesus do what He so often does and draw people to Him through the preaching of HIS WORD–we saw 110 people receive Christ, and…as I always say…THAT NEVER GETS OLD!

#2 – THIS COMING SUNDAY IS MOTHER’S DAY!!!  And, we will be concluding our “Adam & Eve” series by dealing with the topic, “The One Thing That EVERY WOMAN WANTS!”  Trust me when I tell you that you need to be here, you need to BRING SOMEBODY and you might want to pack some Kleenex.

#3 – I am going to be spending next week visiting every NewSpring campus (there are a couple of combined campus meetings) where we will celebrate all that God has been doing and looking ahead to our next steps as a church…and even more specifically as a campus so that we can see 100,000 people reached every week!  (I wrote all about the details yesterday in this post…check it out for times and places.)  AND…at this meeting I will also be telling you about what is so special about August 24 & 25 and why I’ve been telling you to go ahead and block these dates on your schedule.

#4 – The very next series we are going to begin on Sunday, May 20 is entitled, “Weird!”  (I ripped off this idea from my friend Craig Groeschel, who is THE BEST LOOKING pastor in America!!!)  :-)  We are going to spend SEVERAL weeks together as a church diving into the idea of why we should aspire to be weird…because normal is NOT working!

#5 – If I am not mistaken…I think we have a little over 150 spaces left for The Gauntlet.  Parents, trust me when I tell you that this is ONE OF THE BEST investments you could ever make in the life of your teenager.  I cannot put into words what the Lord does during this week every year in the lives of all who participate.  (HERE is where you can get more info and sign up!)  This event will be full by the end of this month, and so if you’ve been putting it off then NOW is the time to go for it!

(AND…THIS SUNDAY IS THE DEADLINE FOR THE 2ND PRICE BREAK!!!  It is currently $325…it will go to $375 on Monday!)

#6 – I’ve joined the world of Facebook…here is the link to my site…stop by and say hello!

#7 – The trip to Israel that I was able to lead last week was absolutely amazing, one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had in my life.  We will be going again as a church in about two years or so…so go ahead and start saving up now, I can promise you it will be worth every dime.

That’s it for now…I LOVE MY CHURCH!

Starting next Monday (May 14) I will be coming & speaking at every NewSpring campus about what God is doing at our church and what we feel that God is leading us to do in regards to taking next steps as a church to do everything possible to reach 100,000.  I will also be making an important announcement regarding my future at NewSpring Church that I’m really excited about…the schedule for these meetings are…

Monday, May 14, 7pm – Anderson Campus (Our Greenwood campus is also invited and encouraged to attend this event as I will be talking about both of our campuses in these particular areas.)

Tuesday, May 15, 7pm – Florence Campus (Our Myrtle Beach campus is also invited and encouraged to attend this event as I will be talking about both of our campuses in these particular areas.)

Wednesday, May 16, 7pm – Charleston Campus

Thursday, May 17, 7pm – Columbia Campus

Saturday, May 19, 7pm – Greenville Campus (Our Spartanburg campus is also invited and encouraged to attend this event as I will be talking about both of our campuses in these particular areas.)

I’m so PUMPED about these events as we will be taking a look together at all that God has done…and praying/dreaming together in regards to all we believe He is going to do.  There is REALLY exciting news to share with each campus…and I believe in what the Lord has put on my heart so passionately that I’m coming to each campus to deliver these talks personally.  I hope you will make plans to join us.

Each evening will begin with our band leading us in a time of worship (which is ALWAYS incredible) and then I will speak.  We will not have childcare at these events…but I can promise you that this is something that you would definitely want to hire a babysitter for!!

It’s going to be awesome…can’t WAIT to see you next week!

#2 – To go at an unrealistic pace that is completely unsustainable and excusing it by saying that things are eventually going to slow down.  (Once again, here is a post I did on 10 Signs That You Are Near A Burnout/Meltdown!)

#3 – Holding onto the idea that, “if you want something done right then you have to do it yourself;” therefore refusing to delegate things that God has not gifted/equipped you to do.

#4 – Believing the lie that “if I take care of the church that God will take care of my family” and neglecting the bride that God has given me because I am having an affair with HIS Bride!

#5 – Believing that “if I just pray about it long enough it will work itself out.”  Prayer is often an excuse for passivity and inactivity!  Remember, God DID tear down the walls of Jericho…but Joshua and the Israelites still had to go in and take the city!

#6 – Declaring the decision that needs to be made without discussing it with those whom it will impact the most.  It is easier to declare and then simply say “I’m the leader, that’s the way it is.”  In order to discuss an idea then leader must be open to the fact that his idea might not be the best!!!

(I wrote this article about ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS a leader can ask that may be worth your time.  AND…I also wrote this entitled FOUR Signs You Know You Are Working With A Leader that may help as well.)

#7 – Driving people through guilt, intimidation and threats rather than leading them with clear direction and actually caring more about who they are becoming rather than what they are doing.

#8 – Believing that a particularly tough season is always going to last and allowing thoughts of negativity and the voice of critics to drive you to an unhealthy place where you find yourself always wanting to be alone and refuse to trust anyone.

#9 – Refusing to admit that you need help!  (It’s not weakness to admit this need, it’s actually a sign of strength!)

#10 – Allowing conflict to go unresolved.  (See Ephesians 4:25-27!)  One of our rules around here at NewSpring is for people to keep short accounts.  If you are upset then DO NOT SEND AN EMAIL but rather go into to someone’s office, close the door and have a conversation.  The enemy can divide a church a lot quicker if he can divide the staff…and the way he most often does this is through unresolved conflict.

#1 – I was way more obsessed with the sins and shortcomings of others and made it my obsession to point out their faults so that I did not have to deal with my own.  (Matthew 23:27-28)

#2 – I made it my goal to catch people doing something wrong and condemn them rather than seeing them with the same eyes that Jesus saw me with, thus causing me to be broken for them and reach out to them with compassion and a genuine concern.

#3 – I would not associate with anyone or any group that did not acknowledge that I was completely correct in my view and interpretation of the Scriptures…and, if they didn’t see just like me I would attack and malign them as often as possible.  (Kind of goes against what Jesus said in John 13:34-35)   Which leads to…

#4 – I only hung out/associated with people who thought just like me!

#5 – I was known more for what I attacked rather than what I built up!

#6 – I boasted in the knowledge that I possessed and looked down on those whom I perceived did not know as much as me.

#7 – I could not acknowledge anything that the Lord might have been doing that did not fit into my system of the way I believed God should do things (read Matthew 28:11-15, these guys, after hearing about the resurrection by eyewitnesses tried to suppress the story rather than being amazed by it!)

(I can literally remember a group of guys I was hanging out with in the mid 90′s who were always bashing Bill Hybels, so I joined in and began to talk about this church up in Chicago that was “compromising the Gospel.”  Then I went to a conference and heard him live, then I read some books by him and then I made a discovery that Bill Hybels had more people in his restrooms between services every Sunday that all of us had in our churches combined…and then I discovered that God worked outside of the framework of my mind!!!  That was one of the most sobering realities I’ve ever had to deal with…and I am so thankful for Bill Hybels and what the Lord has used him and Willow Creek to accomplish!  If you are a church planter you should know that Bill Hybels and Rick Warren took some bullets years ago that we do not have to take today because they were willing to endure the pain!)

#8 – I did not mind throwing out false accusations against those whom I felt were not getting it right! (John 8:48-51)

#1 – This past Sunday was AMAZING as we dealt with the three things than a man cannot have.  It is my prayer that every man (and woman) in the room understood that if we walk away from the authority of God’s Word…we also walk away from His blessing and protection.  (Had a blast opening the umbrella inside, superstitious people are losing their minds this month at our church!)  :-)  Some verses to check out in regards to what God’s Word says about God’s Word are…

• Hebrews 4:12
• II Timothy 3:16-17
• Psalm 19:7-11
• Luke 21:33

#2 – I honestly believe that if men could begin to honor God in the three areas we talked about on Sunday (God’s glory, sexuality and money) that the spiritual temperature of our church, our community, our nation and our world could be raised to a level unlike anything we’ve ever seen.  Some verses I would challenge our men to spend some time in this week are…

• Isaiah 14:12-15 (notice how many times satan said, “I will!”  When our focus is on what we want and not what God wants often times we rebel!)
• Colossians 3:1-2
• Galatians 5:16
• Isaiah 48:11
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Ephesians 5:25-27
• Proverbs 6:30-35
• Proverbs 7:7-27
• I Corinthians 6:18-20
• II Corinthians 9:6-15
• Malachi 3:6-12
• Deuteronomy 8:10-18
• I Chronicles 21:18-26

#3 – This coming Sunday we are going to dive into “The Man Mystery–Three Things That Every Man Needs!”  (And no, the answer is NOT #1- Sex, #2 – Sex and #3 – More Sex!!!)

#4 – Really pumped and excited about getting to spend some time at our Anderson, Florence, Charleston, Columbia and Greenville campuses during the week of May 14th…pay attention to come announcements at your campuses that will have specific details.  These events are going to be an AMAZING time of worship, celebration and anticipation that we are going to be able to share together…and I will be talking about the next steps that our campuses and our church are getting ready to take!  I’m so excited I can’t see straight!

#5 – Didn’t know if I’ve said anything about it or not…but you have GOT to go ahead and put August 24 and 25 on your schedule as a “DO NOT MISS” event!!!  Trust me!  I will be talking more about what is happening on these dates during the campus tour (that I mentioned above!)  It’s one of the MOST EXCITING things our church has EVER attempted!!

That’s it for today…I LOVE MY CHURCH!