Personal Development

Grab Your Goals!

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Success can not be attained overnight. But, still, it can be attained. Funny how people can be so impatient most of the times. Just observe students in the middle of their school life. Instead of being excited that they’ll soon finish education, they would complain of getting bored and wanting to stop schooling for work or, worse, play. Employees and office people, by the time they think they have earned enough money for their family, would plan leaving work to just stay in the house. With these kinds of thinking and attitude, how would one expect to reach his goals in life?

Life is too precious to waste living it without a plan or goal. It is too short not living it to the fullest, as they say. Okay, okay. Say, you have a goal, a dream, a wish you want to fulfill. You’d ask, is that enough? The answer would be yes, as long as you have the assertiveness to reach it. Hey, it wouldn’t be called a goal unless you have no plans of achieving it, right? Otherwise, having a goal without the will to make it into reality is not enough.

Another problem regarding this matter is that people do have a goal but just don’t have what it takes to achieve it, or so they thought. Again, they become blinded by the negativity of their minds.

Money, socio-economic status, race, age, gender – these are just a few factors that hinder individuals to think that they have what it takes to attain success that everyone has been dreaming of. So what if you don’t earn a lot of money? Will that be reason enough for you not to attend school or find a job? How about if you are not among the authorities in your society? Or you’re of a different race? Or you’re still young? Or you’re a female? Should they even be considered reasons to discourage you in turning your dreams into reality? I don’t think so. It is only your mind that says so. Hence, fight it.

What you can do is put your mind into something you want to happen. Say, you want to be a writer. Therefore, think as a writer, feel as a writer, and be a writer. Practice. Read a lot. Grab all opportunities that would make you a writer. Like everything else that we wish to happen, in reaching for a goal, we should make sacrifices – time, effort, responsibilities, etc. After all, success does not come overnight. But eventually, it will.

And before anything else, believe that “I can reach my goals in life. Therefore, I will.”

How to build TRUST in a relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Tue, 12 May 2009 06:26:00 +0000

Trust is the one resource your relationship must have. If you don't have much trust in your partner, you won't be able to last for long. You see, trust builds credibility. When emergencies come or when there is a need to decide on something big, your trust in each other will get you through most problems.

Trusting means having faith regardless of how difficult it is to understand your partner. So, what happens if this trust is broken? For starters, you won't have much faith in your partner and will doubt everything he or she does. In your mind, you see another person; not the man or woman you chose to believe in.

Below I share with you 7 proven ways to build trust in a relationship. These have worked for me and i have no doubt in mind that they will work for you too.

1. Consider the obvious: You are human!

You make mistakes that you regret later on, and so does your partner. When you agree that you're both capable of making mistakes, you are one step closer to rebuilding trust. If you have the propensity to put your partner on a pedestal, you're setting yourself up for a complete loss of trust when your partner messes up.

The fact is, people will always do stupid things and you cannot control it. You only have control over the way you react to things. Don't sabotage your relationship by thinking your partner is infallible.

2. Say what you mean!

You can't say you are ok when you are frowning. At the same time, you can't tell your partner that you're in love with her or him when your actions say you don't. Not saying what you mean is a form of lying, and dishonesty in whatever form is bad for a relationship. Because your objective is to build trust back in the union, you must agree to say only what you mean and not hide anything from each other.

3. Believe in your partners capacity for change.

If you automatically think a tiger wont change his stripes whenever your partner tries to change, you're making the task of building trust a lot harder.

4. Never Keep Secrets.

Out of all the ways to build trust in a relationship, this is the most important. Secrets are seeds of dishonesty that will grow in time to choke your budding trust. Openness and expression are two things you must value above everything else. If you are both open and expressive, you may never have to keep secrets. To encourage openness, you can always start your sentences with "I feel..." or "I want to..."

5. Your needs are important

If you have been acting the martyr for a time now, you might have set aside your needs to accommodate your partners. Now is the time to let it all out. Tell your partner what you need and create a plan on how to meet those needs. Remember, you're both in this together. You're a team, and team members help each other.

6. Don't say yes when you mean no

There are times when your partner will insist on something, which in your opinion, is completely wrong. The key to disagreeing with your partner is to make it clear that your disagreement is not personal. You don't want to hurt him but you don't think his proposal is reasonable. Say this calmly and in a neutral voice.

7. Lastly, everything you do must contribute to your development as a couple.

Keep moving forward. Leave the bad memories behind and choose forgiveness. You will trust each other again in time if you can keep from digging up each others mistakes. Most importantly take action and apply these ways to build trust in a relationship.

When Mistakes are OK

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 05:28:00 +0000

We all have our own comfort levels when it comes to risk taking and the potential for making mistakes - especially on the job. However, problem solving and challenging status quo may cause a few mistakes along the way. Here are four times when making mistakes should not be cause for concern.

Tom had some good ideas for improving things at work. He had gathered evidence and background information and was pretty confident his idea would work. But he wouldn’t pull the trigger and try it. He was hesitant because he was afraid of making a mistake.

Larry listened as his neighbor Tom shared his idea – and his hesitancy. Larry saw the world differently. Larry told Tom his approach: “I always ask myself – what is the worst thing that can happen? So what if I make a mistake – it gives me another idea about what does work. That’s what I do on the job – and it seems to work great!”

Tom appreciated - even admired - Larry’s thinking, but he couldn’t see that approach working in his company. He felt the way to success was to avoid mistakes at all costs. Being cautious and careful was clearly the way to a promotion.

We all have our own comfort levels about risk taking and the potential for mistakes, but a big part of how we view mistakes comes not from who we are but from where we work – just like Larry and Tom.

I’m sure you recognize that if we take Tom’s approach to the extreme, nothing ever changes and nothing is ever improved. The larger the repercussions of a mistake (real or perceived), the more risk is involved in trying something new. This leads to people being hesitant to try something new – because they are afraid of the consequences of making a mistake.

To be sure, taking Larry’s approach to the extreme can lead to chaos and very expensive mistakes – frequently.

As with many things we need to strike a balance both for ourselves and in our organizations – a balance where we recognize the risks inherent in mistakes, but we are still willing to try new things and can live with the possible outcomes, even if those outcomes are mistakes.

How do we find this balance?

You will find it by deciding when mistakes are really OK – and when they aren’t. Here are four criteria to help you find that balance individually and as team or organization:

Mistakes are OK if:

They lead to learning.

They aren’t repeated.

They are done in pursuit of your goals and objectives.

They don’t violate or conflict with your values.

Let’s look at each of these a bit more closely.

Mistakes are OK if we learn from them. Remember that one of the best opportunities to learn is when we do something wrong – when we make a mistake. If you reduce the opportunities for mistakes you seriously limit your learning opportunities.

Mistakes are OK if they aren’t repeated. So you make a mistake once – learn from it. If it is a repeated mistake, it is less valuable as a learning experience (unless you’re trying to learn the mistake). In fact anything you did learn from the first mistake, likely will be lost with the repeat performance.

Mistakes are OK if they are done in pursuit of your goals and objectives. To achieve any worthy goal or objective different things must be tried. In order to improve anything you must try a new way. New approaches will sometimes cause mistakes. When the mistake is made trying to achieve the agreed upon goals, what could be wrong with it?

Mistakes are OK if they don’t conflict with your values. If your company values safety and the mistake puts you or those around you at a physical risk, then that mistake isn’t advisable. But if no laws are broken and no values are violated, a mistake shouldn’t carry major repercussions.

Applying These Criteria

Think about these criteria collectively not individually. In other words, a mistake could pass three of the criteria but not the fourth. In this case it isn’t OK. But if it meets all four criteria, my advice is to celebrate the person for taking a risk (or congratulate yourself) and keep moving forward.

With these criteria in place people will become more willing to try new things; to take a bit more risk; and to be less tentative. All of these things will lead to some mistakes – but they will also lead to great opportunities for growth and improvement.

Consider how you can apply these criteria for yourself personally and how you can begin to make them a part of your organizational culture. That decision will lead to a few more errors, and open you up to great opportunities for improvement too.

Dealing with Disappointment

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 05:27:00 +0000

An article that help you practically deal with disappointment biblically and practically.

I can share a personal experience with you to help you understand what disappointment can mean and also how it can affect you personally deeper than you know. A couple years ago when we were starting our new church plant in San Diego we promoted it, invited all of our family and friends and on that day we had over 100 people in attendance for our opening day church service. It was wonderful and turned out better than we could have expected.

My husband and I were definitely on a spiritual high feeling victory that our church plant was going to go smooth with no problems. NOT!!! The following Sunday our church attendance was nine people and all of them were part of our team that came with us.

Needless to say, my husband seemed fine but I was disappointed. I felt defeated and it was only the second Sunday of our church plant. At that moment you don’t know how to feel and you are left with two choices, give up or move on. We chose to move forward by faith because we believe that God has called us there and regardless if there is one person or 1000, if God has called us we need to be obedient to Him.

Our Faith kept us going and I am happy to report that our church is growing and thriving. Praise the Lord. Had we of quit we would not be seeing the blessings we are now and we have learned some valuable lesson through it.

You see my problem was I had expectations that weren't realistic. I thought it would be a peace of cake to start a church plant and that it would just grow magically. I learned a valuable lesson, which was that my expectations were not based on fact or reality but my own thoughts and opinions and it was a hard lesson but it opened my eyes.

I put together some tips on how to deal with disappointment and hope it helps you as it did me. The definition of disappointment is, “The state of having a feeling or emotion of being defeated in an expectation or a hope.” In looking at this definition helps us to learn how to deal with disappointment.

Re-Evaluate your Expectations: Are your expectations realistic? Or do they set you up for disappointment? Having un-realistic expectations will disappoint you every time.
Be willing to Drop Some Expectations: There are some expectations that are not worth having at all. As you look again at your situation be honest and ask yourself if you are having an expectation that is selfish, petty or unrealistic. If so, you are only hurting yourself by keeping them and should let them go.
Be Flexible: Learn from your mistakes and be willing to change your point of view about your situation that is realistic and considers the good as well as the bad and keep in mind what matters most.

One of the first exercises my husband and I give to couples in pre-marital counseling is to write down all of their expectations about the other person and then we have them read their list out loud and then tear it up and throw the list away. People don’t like this exercise very much because we are forcing them to get rid of their expectations of the other person, but it is an important one to learn and could save them a lot of grief after they get married..

We do this because it is normal for every person to have an ideal spouse in their mind of what they will be like and how they will act. It can come from their up bringing or what they have learned along the way, television or by what they have read of what a spouse is supposed to be like and act like. They then naturally bring those expectations into their marriage and right away they become immediately disappointed that their expectations are not being met.

Unfortunately it happens a lot in marriages and is more common than people realize and people wonder why they are having arguments and problems the first year of their marriage.

Sometimes when I counsel women who go through similar issues, I tell them to not be so hard on themselves and they won’t be hard on others. It’s a trickle down affect that occurs when people place hard or un-realistic expectations on themselves and then will naturally place those same expectations on others.

The worst part of this scenario is that when the person is working extra hard to fulfill these un-realistic expectations for themselves they expect others to do it too and they are constantly disappointed that others are not fulfilling their part. So in this scenario re-evaluate your own expectations of your self and see if you need to let go of them so that you can be freed from your own disappointment and not place that same expectations on others.

We encourage couples to not go into their marriage with expectations on their spouse but to get to know and accept their spouse for who they are and work together in accomplishing their goals and dreams together using their gifts and talents they both have.

Don’t get me wrong we also go over the roles of the husband and the roles of the wife with these couples but roles are responsibilities that are given to fulfill their role as the husband or the wife and not “personal” expectations. It’s important to know the difference.

My husband always says, “If you don’t have expectations you won’t be disappointed.” It’s true. We deal with our ministry the same way. It is what it is and we have to be willing to work with what we have to make it better and not focus on what it isn’t or what we don’t have but enjoy and be blessed with what God is doing.

The only expectation we have now is that God is faithful and He will do it. It may not happen how we expect Him to or when we expect Him to but He does it in His perfect way and in His perfect time. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways!

So if you are dealing with disappointment take a moment to evaluate your expectations and be willing to make the necessary changes that will lift anything that may be keeping you down or others down. Sometimes our worst enemy is our own self. I hope these helps will give you something to work with when dealing with disappointment.

8 Strategies for Achieving SMART goals

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 05:25:00 +0000

Are you tired of setting goals and not achieving them? Learn the 8 strategies for setting and achieving "SMART" Goals.

1. Setting goals is easy but achieving them isn’t.

That’s why setting “SMART” goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely – is the first step in making your goal a reality.Make your goal as Specific as possible and express it in positive terms. Do you want to stop losing money or do you want to start making money? How much money do you want to make?How do you Measure success? You’ll need a way to evaluate your progress and determine if you’re moving towards your goal. For example, if you want to improve your finances, then you should have a way of keeping track of income and expenses.Is your goal Achievable? Consider whether you have the resources necessary to achieve your goal. If not, you need to determine if you can assemble everything required to streamline your process. Remove any obstacles before you get started!Realistic goals are achievable goals, unrealistic goals are just dreams. It’s not necessary to be negative but take time to honestly evaluate whether you’re being realistic. Losing 30 pounds in 2 weeks is not impossible but it’s not very likely and certainly not healthy.Make your goal Timely by stating a due date for your goal AND the action steps involved in achieving it.

2. Align your goals with your values. If your goal doesn’t reflect your beliefs and character then you’ll have difficulty achieving it. And even if you do manage to get what you want, you won’t be very happy. Set a goal which is meaningful to you and be clear about the consequences of your outcome.

3. Share your goals with three to five key people. Not everyone needs this strategy with every goal but almost everyone can benefit from it at some point. Finding supportive, positive people is key because you certainly don’t need anyone sabotaging your progress..4. Assemble everything you need before you need it. This prep work is vital in eliminating the frustrating and time consuming “running around” which can derail your progress later on.5. Minimize potential challenges. There are 3 key ways to prevent overconfidence and poor planning from creating obstacles .

• Create a complete, measurable, action plan which includes all the steps necessary to achieve your goal. Don’t forget due dates for each step.

• Incorporate all your actions into your schedule. Add them to your calendar with anywhere from 10-20% flextime to help you control any unexpected delays.

• Regularly evaluate your progress. You may need to make changes or adjustments as your project takes shape. Anticipate them so you won’t get blind-sided.6. Complete at least one action per day. Consistent actions will propel you towards your goal. Even choosing a small task will make a dent in your to-do list and may motivate you to do even more.7. Establish a support system. Who or what can provide you with encouragement, advice, healthy feedback or a willing ear?8. Reward Yourself. Don’t wait until you achieve your goal, especially if it’s a long-term one. Reward yourself as you reach certain milestones. Something as simple as scheduling time for yourself or perhaps a special treat that you’ve felt guilty about indulging in can keep you motivated to keep going.Copyright 2007 – Merlyn Sanchez

How Does Change Happen ???

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 11:18:00 +0000

True change occurs deep inside yourself, at a level that you’re usually not even aware of.

People come to me wanting to quit smoking or lose wieght They tell me things like, “I have a friend who quit in one session”, and their expectation is that they can quit in one session, too.

Although it is true that some people are able to make the changes that they want in one Hypnosis session, it is not common. There are two questions that you need to ask when this happens:

(1) How committed to change were they when they walked in?
(2) How long did the changes last?
True change occurs deep inside yourself, at a level that you’re usually not even aware of. If your friend truly did quit smoking in one session, permanently, then deep inside, that friend believed it could happen and had already committed to it.

Addictions form over a period of years, and involve deep emotions and behavior patterns. Just as it takes a few years to develop and habituate these feelings and patterns, it also will take a while to create new ones. Understanding this ahead of time can save you a lot of disappointment.

Your entire life is created by your thoughts and feelings. All the things you tell yourself over the years eventually manifest out into your world. Take a moment to think about this; what kinds of things do you tell yourself? And how does that make you feel? What things have others said to you, and how has that made you feel about yourself? Then, what kind of a world have you created as a result of these deep feelings? Here’s an example of what I mean:
Action: Parent repeatedly says, “Leave me alone; I’m busy; Go away.”

Result: Child feels rejected, unloved, and unlovable. Each time this happens, the child reinforces that belief that they are unloved and unlovable.

Action: As an adult, child becomes needy and constantly seeks affection, usually from emotionally distant partners, and experiences unsuccessful relationships. Or, the child is unable to emotionally bond successfully with others.
Result: Child, now as adult, has firmly implanted the belief that they are unloved/unloveable, and has created their world to reflect that.

Self talk is a form of hypnosis. Over and over again you tell yourself the same things, until you begin to believe it. Once you believe what you’ve been telling yourself, you set about – on a subconscious level- to bring into existence the very things you’ve been thinking/feeling.

As you can see, real and lasting change does not take place as a result of the hypnotherapist changing you, but by you changing your belief about yourself. In order for hypnosis to work for you, you need these three things:

** Deep desire
** Belief that you can do it
** Commitment to change

I have people come to me who say these things: “I not sure if this will work,” “We’ll see…”, and “I’m afraid I’ll fail.” If you feel this way, you have two choices:

1) Save your money until you can be absolutely committed to change.
2) Be willing to explore, through hypnosis, your fears and anxieties.

A belief in the possibility of failure will bring about that failure. Absolute commitment to success will bring about success. It may happen in one session, and it may not, but with repeated reinforcement, you will be able to create the world you desire.

Stay In The Moment !!!

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:08:00 +0000

Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses.

The holiday season is here again. This time of year brings with it stressors that you don't ordinarily encounter, such as really bad weather that seems to last forever, the flu season, cabin fever, and of course, the three major holidays that occur between October and December.

No matter what stresses you out, there is undoubtedly a fear or two associated with it. Are you worried about money - the fear that you won't have enough? Or the cold and flu season - maybe you worry that you or a loved one will catch something. If you drive to work every day, you may fear that bad weather will either be treacherous to drive in, or cause you to lose valuable work time. Plus, snow can cause school closures, which add an additional stress of having the children at home. If you are someone who doesn't take part in the holidays, then you may have to deal with neighbors, relatives, and friends who do, and the fear may be that you won't fit in, or that others will ignore you.

Whatever the stressors are that you will encounter in the next three months, the best defense against them is to be present. Looking back into the past, or ahead into the future - even if it's just a minute ago or a minute from now - can cause you to feel stress, because you are focusing on something that doesn't exist in the moment. But the truth is, if it doesn't exist, it is not a real threat.

The next time you're feeling stressed about an event that's already happened or one that may happen in the future, notice how your body reacts. You may have a racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth , and you may feel anxious. Your body is reacting to something that it isn't even experiencing in real time. Then allow that thought to just move through you, and focus only on your breathing. Just take a couple of deep, deep breaths, smile (even fake smiles count), and notice your immediate surroundings. Concentrate for just a minute on your body, or something in nature, or a pet. Be present. Stay in the moment for as long as you can. Ignore any thought that has to do with the past or the future.
Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses. This is the quickest way to restore calmness to your body and your mind.

What used to be is gone; what might be hasn't happened yet, and may not. All any of us really have is this very moment. Practice being present, and pretty soon you will become a part of the moment, every moment. Only then can you truly say that you are in full control.

Clearing A Path For Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 05:40:00 +0000

In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a god-given right and Americans have a document to prove it. But I wonder why the Founding Fathers deliberately phrased it, ‘the pursuit of happiness’, as if to say --- happiness in itself cannot be granted because it was, and still remains, tied to materialism. In the “pursuit” of happiness, it is each person’s own definition: riches, health, religion, etc.

Take, as an example, the pessimist and optimist. If anything bad happens, the pessimist believes it will not last long but will surely undermine his life. He feels the deck is stacked against him, yet being more realistic than the optimist, he prepares himself for misfortune.

The optimist regards it as a temporary setback and goes about removing the obstacle. He risks more but these efforts give meaning to his life and he makes the best of it. To acquire is to be happy (so the culture teaches) therefore blessed are they for among them are corporate executives in their mansions.

There is enough on the subject of happiness to fill an e-book, but let’s measure just one facet: the Internet. How much would it take to make you a happy Interner? Has your ‘big break’ eluded you thus far? What kind of Internet success would give you a sense of control over your life – because when you think about it, “control over your life” is a huge slice of happiness.

To generate an income on the Internet, it must come through the development of integrity, character, and efforts on behalf of a cause greater than oneself. By doing the job with honesty, helpfulness, and concern for others, we may have to take some time from our busy schedule to ‘coach’ a struggling newbie. This mindset offers an easier path to your own success.

Personally, I have not set goals of Internet success so high that it would plunge me into depression when deprived of a six figure income. Given the years (like me) you have labored the Internet, you must avoid the “joy-busters” out to derail your efforts. Only then can you begin living up to your full potential. You will discover more energy and creativity, better relationships, healthier thoughts leading to new ideas and a more rewarding income.

Is there a difference between the life you have – and the life you want? Do you think excuses or results? You can change this today; be that singer who is tone-deaf but sings anyway for the sheer joy it offers.

Jim Leonard wrote, “Happiness is a skill. As with other skills, you can get better at it.” He suggests that at this point in your life you might think that things are not the way they should be. Yet things are the way they are. If you can be happy in that reality, then you will improve your life faster and reach your goals easier. Energy will not be wasted on friction or regrets.

What you have is the present moment. Use it – enjoy it.

Thinking Yourself Back To Health

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:30:00 +0000

The way a person thinks about things is determined by what he believes about them. His thoughts are determined by his faith, and the results depend upon his making a personal application of his faith.

Wallace Wattles, who wrote The Science of Being Well, explains how one is able to call on his own inner resource to regain health. “Your getting well does not depend upon the adoption of some system, or the finding of some remedy; people with your identical ailments have been healed by all systems and all remedies. It does not depend upon climate; some people are well and others are sick in all climates. It does not depend upon avocation, unless in case of those who work under poisonous conditions; people are well in all trades and professions.”

Faith, personally applied, cures. And no matter how great the faith or how persistent the thought, it will not cure without personal application. The Science of Being Well, then, includes the two fields of thought and action.

A person is a thinking center, capable of originating thought, and as he does not know everything, he makes mistakes and thinks error. Not knowing everything, he believes things to be true which are not true. A person holds in his thought the idea of diseased and abnormal functioning and conditions, and so perverts the action of the Principle of Health, causing diseased and abnormal functioning and conditions within his own body.”

The power of our thoughts is so powerful that it is now being demonstrated by such researchers as Candace Pert, the author of the Molecules of Emotion, Laurence Magne, in Cancer Free For Life, which can be purchased on the website of the same name, and in general the field of Psycho-Neuro-Immunology (PNI) that our thoughts influence the molecular structure of our body. For instance, it is now a generally accepted fact that the onset of cancer in 80% of cases is preceded in the previous 3 years by a major trauma like a death of a spouse, a relocation, a divorce. As James Allen wrote, “As we think, so we become”.

Tips To Improve Your Memory Skills !!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:21:00 +0000

There are significant age-related changes that take place in our brains . These changes can slow down some brain processes. As a result it's harder for us to learn new things as we grow older, and it's even harder to remember certain important information. But Thanks to many years of research it's now easier than ever to sharpen our brains with do-it-yourself techniques and tips that will boost our ability to remember as we age.

Memory Improvement Technique #1: Be careful with your brain usage.
Our brain is a machine. And although it is a very strong and powerful machine its still limited and needs rest. You should start economize your brain's power by taking advantage of calendars, planners, memo books,lists, maps, file folders, address books so that you can have routine information accessible. Also have a certain place in your home where you leave your car keys or your glasses and things you use on a daily basis. If you follow rules like that you will save a lot of your brain's power to use in more important situations and cases. It is also useful to try to brake new information into smaller parts so that you can keep track of your thoughts. It's easier to remember small parts of information. Have faith in yourself.

Memory Improvement Technique #2: Do Not Be A Victim Of Stereotypes.
Have faith in yourself. There are myths about ones age that can lead to a memory failure. When exposing yourself to negative stereotypes about aging (for example that middle-aged people learn difficult and do worse in memory tasks) then you're not making a step forward. You are actually forcing your brain to believe that it will fail as you age.. There's absolutely no proof that your memory will lose its accuracy and strength as you age.

Memory Improvement Technique #3: Repetition is Important.
When you learn something new that you feel it's important to remember or recollect later, try writing it down a few times. Or try to repeat it loud. For example when you meet a new person and you want to remember his/her name, use the name when you talk to him/her. Instead of repeating something again and again with small time intervals try the opposite. Repeat the information after longer periods of time (e.g. once every one hour, or once every other day etc.). This is especially helpful when you learn complicated new information. Let the brain absorb the information steadily as time goes by. Do not pressure your brain.

Memory Improvement Technique #4: Make use of all your Senses.
Don't limit yourself to use certain senses when you learn new information. Try to use all your senses. For example when reading something try to hear the sounds when turning the page or even smell the book or magazine. Odors are powerful at conjuring memories from the past. Use your emotions to fill your memories with emotional content. It will be much more easy to recollect those memories later.

Try to read aloud the new information you want to learn. Try drawing a picture. Try to visualize the information in your brain. It doesn't matter how you shape the information. It's the process of visualizing that's important because it forces the brain to make more precise information notes!

I hope you will find the above information useful and worth reading:

<<<< P.S - Pleez leave a message on how u like the post in my chatbox.>>>>>

Anger: Detect It; Prevent It; Manage It...Just Don’t Lose It

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:33:00 +0000

It's normal to feel angry or frustrated when you've been let down or betrayed. But anger and frustration don't justify violent action. Anger is a strong emotion that can be difficult to keep in check, but the right response is to always stay cool. This article talks about some techniques to deal with anger:

Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotions. It is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action. The feelings underlying the anger reaction make us feel vulnerable and weak; anger makes us feel, at least momentarily, strong and in control, but anger can be devastating. One moment of madness can bring about lifetime of suffering and in vain repentance. To be more specific:

Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.
Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships, too.
Anger means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.
Anger leads to increased stress.
We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.

Angry behaviors are learned over the life-span and therefore can be unlearned and replaced with healthier patterns of coping. To repress anger is unhealthy and yet to express it impulsively, as we so often do, may give momentary relief but inevitably will carry negative consequences. Here comes the anger management, following are some of the anger management techniques:

Learn to talk about your feelings - if you're afraid to talk or if you can't find the right words to describe what you're going through, find a trusted friend or adult to help you one-on-one.
Express yourself calmly - express criticism, disappointment, anger or displeasure without losing your temper or fighting. Ask yourself if your response is safe and reasonable.
Listen to others - listen carefully and respond without getting upset when someone gives you negative feedback. Ask yourself if you can really see the other person's point of view.
Negotiate - work out your problems with someone else by looking at alternative solutions and compromises.

Detect and Prevent Anger

There are very distinguishable physical manifestations of anger. If you are able to discern it you can pre-manage your anger by detecting and preventing your sliding into angry state of mindset. When you are angry, you would probably feel:

Muscle tension
Accelerated heartbeat
A "knot" or "butterflies" in your stomach
Changes in your breathing
Trembling
Goose bumps
Flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that's responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
Imagine yourself at the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

Keep telling yourself:

"Calm down."
"I don't need to prove myself."
"I'm not going to let him/her get to me."
Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you. Take help of the people expert in providing stress management techniques, or join anger management classes, if you think you yourself are not capable of controlling your anger.

Whatever you do to manage your temper, remember one thing; only you have the power to control your own violent behavior, don't let anger control you.

Be strong. Be safe. Be cool.

Creating Integrity Within

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 06:10:00 +0000

Is integrity near the top of your list of values? It is so important for creating a world that truly works for each person in it. Integrity means "the quality or state of being complete or undivided" and indicates firm adherence to our values. Our values are the things we hold dear, the things that are most important to us as we shape our lives. Living from them is integrity.

When you do something that is in alignment with what you believe--what you say is important to you--there is an internal sense of peace and well-being...even if doing it is difficult! It just "feels" so right. When your behavior clashes with your values, the opposite is true. You all know what happens when you try to squeeze past your values by doing or saying something that is a little off. You wriggle. You cannot maintain eye
contact. You know, deep in your hearts, that it does not feel right, don't you?

Integrity is like pregnancy. You cannot be a little bit pregnant. You are or you are not. You are living in integrity or you are not. You will always know if you tune in to what your body tells you...it is a good barometer.

For today, just before you do or say anything, take a breath and ask yourself if what you are about to do is in alignment with what is important, significant and valuable to you. Is it in line with the things you stand for in life! If it is, proceed in peace. If it is not, ask yourself why you are doing it, how you will feel when it is done, and whether it is worth it. This may be a reputation-saving breath!

Gain Self Confidence. NOW !!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 06:34:00 +0000

Have you ever thought, “If I just had more self-confidence, if I was just more sure of myself and my abilities, I know I could be successful?”

Discover how to replace your fears and doubts with a powerful self-confidence that will allow you to achieve your dreams and goals!

An excellent way to feed the mind with material for positive thinking is to commit to memory some of the sayings of great men and to ponder them at leisure. This assists in establishing a standard of truth, and at the same time feeds the mind with many nourishing and useful thoughts. Here are some examples:

"The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others."--La Rouchefocauld

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." --Tennyson.

"He who has once been very foolish will at no other time be very wise."--Montaigne.

"Nothing is said nowadays that has not been said before."--Terence.

"He must necessarily fear many, whom many fear."--Seneca.

"Courage in danger is half the battle." --Plautus.

"The multitude is always in the wrong." --Dillon.

"Thought once awakened does not again slumber."--Carlyle.

"Second thoughts, they say, are best." --Dryden.

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries." --Shakespeare.

A source of inspiration to one who would cultivate self-confidence is that of mingling with self-confident men. We grow to be like those with whom we associate. Human society is the great leveler, taking man out of himself, and teaching him the power of sympathy and unselfishness. Man was not made to live alone, and it is only in some form of service to others that he attains the truest greatness.

Confidence is marked by composure, fear by haste. It is the sum of a man's habits that determines what he is. Few people realize the difference between the thought habits of a fearful man and those of one who is self-confident.

Some men devote all their lives to little things and wonder why they never achieve anything worth while. It is as though a man should content himself with conducting a peanut-stand when all the while he might be a great lawyer.

Self-imposed limitation, a wrong idea of values, or a narrow and perverted view of life, holds many a man in bondage who might be scaling the heights. It is said that there are still business men who use the backs of old envelopes for scribbling paper while writing-pads may be bought cheaply.

Every man is more or less conscious at the close of day of duties unfulfilled, of work neglected, or of opportunities lost. He realizes sometimes how much more he might have done. He may well ask himself the cause of these repeated failures. Is it lack of will? Is it want of energy, definiteness, or initiative?

If he would take conscious possession of the powers within him, all these faculties might quickly be developed. It is not surprising that men fall so far short of their ideal when they make so little effort to attain it.

Here is a simple, proven, step-by-step plan that will allow you to achieve the self-confidence you have always dreamed of having – in as few as 31 short days!

So by means of systematic self-culture, patiently and persistently building one stone at a time, there at length emerges a strong magnetic, self-confident personality. These foundation stones are:

Poise
Optimism
Wisdom
Earnestness
Realization
Patience
Deliberateness
Faith
Unselfishness
Promptitude
Health
Silence
Self-confidence
Sincerity
Concentration
Love
Power
Temperance
Sympathy
Geniality
Truth
Speech
Duty
Purity
Definiteness
Integrity
Enthusiasm
Justice
Tact
Imagination
Personality

Stress Reduction

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 06:27:00 +0000

Reducing stress can help us to manage our lives effectively. We can reduce stress by reviewing life and its potential problems, solutions and resources. If you are, a common ordinary family then you is set up with a home, car, job, children, entertainment, and other related responsibilities. You may own your own home, vehicle and established a foundation to succeed in life. You spend one day out of every week to enjoy quality time with the family, and you visit your friends on occasions to get away from your status in life.

Your job is running smoothly and you see no need to worry about any problem since you feel everything is under control. Your security is standing, your confidence is high, and your emotions are in tact. Everything seems perfect, so you are relaxing when you arrive home from work, since your job brought forth a rewarding day because of your outstanding efforts. Sounds perfect and I would give my last dollar to live in this environment, in fact most of us would. Now we are looking at a situation where stressors and stress are minimal. Since we can never eliminate stress from our lives, we have to question this scenario.

The husband is not worrying about anything, since he has established what appears to be a firm foundation for his family. Is the husband prepared for stressors and stress? Did the husband plan to prepare in case disaster occurs? IS the husband expecting that life will remain faithful or is he expecting that troubles could surface at any time? Finally, is the husband prepared to make decisions when troubles surface, and did he prepare his family for the problems that are potential in their future?

Does the family have a resource, support group, and help available when troubles occur. Maybe they sit up a savings account believing money would bail them out of all problems. Look carefully between the lines and tell me where stressors and stress exist? Since, we do not know what has been discussed in the family we are going to assume that this family is stable, secure and has not set up a stress management scheme in case the worst possible occurs.

By assuming this, we can deduce that the family is not prepared to handle tribulation at a higher magnitude than common problems. We can assume that the family has not planned a stress management relief when a high impact situation attacks. We can assume that the family is not using their head to the fullest, since we cannot determine if the family can make appropriate decisions when a major problem arises.

Unfortunately, we are going to cause a series of problems for this family to see how prepared we all are in any case scenario. Ok, the world is good and the family is happier than they are ever where in life.

The family continues daily taking care of responsibilities and enjoying their fruitful environment. Suddenly, everyone wakes up one fine sunny afternoon and finds that dad lost his job; mom is not working since dad has it all under control. Panic strikes, the husband flairs with anger since he has lost his security, a minimal ability to take care of his family and responsibilities.

He thinks I have enough money in my account to take care of the mortgage and bills until I land another job. Then he calls his bank all to find out that his Identity was stolen and his banking accounts are drained of resources.

OUCH! Now we have a real life problem with stressors overwhelming that our nerves should be shot by now. Let us see how prepared this family could be in the event stress is overwhelming. Now, we all know that we are a subject to unemployment and identity theft.

Where is the backup plan? If the husband was prepared and planned, he would know immediately what he needed to do to deal with the legal process of identity theft and unemployment. Now we know he had a stress management plan when he believed his savings would protect the family in case he lost his job, but we see that his mind is blown when he hangs up the phone with his bank.

I am not going to finish this story, since I am the type of person that likes to promote thinking. Now I am leaving it up to you to find out the ending of the story, and search your mind to find a stress management plan that works best for you.

Relieve Stress

noreply@blogger.com (Daniel D) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 06:10:00 +0000

There are many things we can do to relieve stress, ranging from small routine changes (such as avoiding rush hour traffic) to large drastic life changes (such as quitting our stressful jobs!).

At the smaller end of the scale, I believe one of the best ways that you can relieve stress is to 'get creative'.

What can you do to get creative? Anything you like, as long as 'you' do the creating!

It could be physical or mental creativity (preferably both), big or small. For example, is it about time you changed your garden around? Changed those dull old patio slabs? Now would be a good idea to get creative.

To relieve stress you have to do something you can be proud of. You need to be able to stand back and say to yourself, `Yep, I did that and I did a terrific job'.

Take the example above, if you're not physically able (and would have to employ someone to do the labouring for you) you could still design the garden yourself! Teach yourself a little about landscape gardening and design the best garden you can. If you are able to labour for yourself, design and build it entirely yourself! And most important of all, give yourself a pat on the back once you've finished and be proud of your hard work.

But it doesn't have to be so big (or so expensive). You could make a model aeroplane, do your own painting, and make something from clay, or anything at all.

One of my friends recently bought his own materials and built a magnificent kite! He said it felt great to finish it, but when he stood back and actually saw his achievement (i.e. when it was flying) he felt truly elated. Now that's stress relief!

Form a personal point of view, having suffered with a phobia of public speaking for so long, I always wanted to set up my own website - to be able to communicate in another way, freely, without the troubles I would usually have. When I eventually found a way to set up my site the pride and sense of achievement I felt was enormous. And with that pride and achievement came the stress relief I was after.

So from the examples above I hope you can see how you too can get creative to relive stress. The list of things you could do is endless.

Now it's time for the hard part. . . getting started!