Let’s get real: some days, gratitude feels impossible. You’re overwhelmed, stressed, or just over it. I’ve been there—staring at my to-do list, wondering how anyone could feel thankful for this. But here’s the truth: gratitude affirmations aren’t about pretending life’s perfect. They’re about rewiring your brain to spot the tiny wins, even on messy days.

And trust me, they work. I went from rolling my eyes at “positivity rituals” to relying on gratitude affirmations to survive burnout. Let’s dive in—no toxic positivity, just real strategies.

What Are Gratitude Affirmations? (And Why They’re Not Just “Positive Vibes”)

Gratitude affirmations are short, intentional statements that:

• Flip your mindset: Instead of “Ugh, my boss is micromanaging me,” try: “I’m grateful for this job—it lets me pay for my dog’s vet bills.”
• Highlight what’s working: Even on bad days, your breath, a warm bed, or Wi-Fi count.
• Create a ripple effect: The more you practice, the more good stuff you’ll notice.

 My “Aha!” Moment: During a chaotic week, I wrote: “I’m grateful my neighbor’s cat sits on my porch—it’s like a tiny therapist.” Suddenly, my stress felt lighter.

How to Write Gratitude Affirmations That Don’t Feel Forced

Most people write affirmations that sound like Hallmark cards. Here’s how to make them stick:

1. Ground them in reality:
   • Too vague: “I’m grateful for my family.”
   • Specific: “I’m grateful my kid hugged me this morning—it smelled like syrup and pure love.”
2. Pair gratitude with growth:
   • Passive: “I’m thankful for my health.”
   • Active: “I’m grateful for my legs—they walked 5,000 steps today, even when I didn’t want to.”
3. Use humor (yes, really):
   • “I’m thankful this coffee exists—it’s basically my emotional support beverage.”

10 Gratitude Affirmations to Steal (Works for Anxiety, Burnout, or Just Meh Days)

1. “Today’s tiny win: ____________. And that’s enough.”
2. “I’m grateful for the $5 in my wallet—it means I can treat myself to a latte.”
3. “Thank you, body, for digesting that questionable tacos last night.”
4. “I’m allowed to hate Mondays and be grateful for my paycheck.”
5. “This chaos won’t last forever—I’m thankful for the quiet moments in between.”
6. “I’m grateful for the stranger who smiled at me today. Small kindnesses matter.”
7. “My past self did ___________ for me, and I’m so glad she did.”
8. “I’m thankful for this breath. And the next one. And the next.”
9. “Even on hard days, I’m learning ___________.”
10. “I’m grateful for the internet—without it, I’d never have found this guide.”

How to Stick With Gratitude Affirmations (When You’re Exhausted)

I’ve fallen off the gratitude wagon dozens of times. Here’s what actually works:

• The “3-Second Rule”: Say one affirmation while waiting for your phone to charge, a meeting to start, or the microwave to ding.
• Stack habits: Add affirmations to routines you already do:
  • Brushing teeth: “I’m grateful for clean water.”
  • Checking email: “I’m thankful for one client who’s easy to work with.”
• Embrace imperfection: Skip a day? No guilt. Try: “I’m grateful I’m trying again now.”

The Science Bit (Why This Isn’t Woo-Woo Nonsense)

Researchers at UC Berkeley found that gratitude practices:

• Reduce envy: People who practice gratitude scroll social media 25% less.
• Boost resilience: After 8 weeks, participants handled setbacks 30% faster.
• Improve relationships: Saying “I’m grateful you…” deepens connections faster than compliments.

But here’s the key: Your brain needs repetition. Think of gratitude affirmations like push-ups for your mindset—consistency > intensity.

7 Mistakes That Sabotage Your Progress (And How to Fix Them)

1. Mistake: Waiting for “big” things to be grateful for.
   • Fix: Celebrate micro-wins. “I’m thankful this pen works.”
2. Mistake: Using someone else’s affirmations word-for-word.
   • Fix: Add personal tweaks. “I’m grateful for my best friend’s 2 AM memes.”
3. Mistake: Only practicing when you’re happy.
   • Fix: Use affirmations as an anchor during stress. “I’m grateful this feeling will pass.”
4. Mistake: Overcomplicating it.
   • Fix: 10 seconds > 10 minutes. “I’m grateful for this chair holding me up.”
5. Mistake: Judging your gratitude.
   • Fix: “I’m grateful for reality TV—it’s my brain’s off-button.”
6. Mistake: Expecting immediate miracles.
   • Fix: Track small shifts. Did you sigh less today? That’s progress.
7. Mistake: Ignoring your senses.
   • Fix: “I’m grateful for the smell of rain—it reminds me of childhood.”

Your 7-Day Gratitude Challenge (Start Now!)

Day 1: Write 1 affirmation about your body.
Day 2: Text a friend: “I’m grateful for you because…”
Day 3: Find gratitude in a mundane object (e.g., your Wi-Fi router).
Day 4: Say an affirmation out loud while making breakfast.
Day 5: Write an affirmation about a struggle (“I’m learning patience from this traffic jam”).
Day 6: Thank a stranger (barista, coworker, delivery person).
Day 7: Reflect: How do you feel compared to Day 1?

FAQs (You Asked, I’m Answering)

Q: Can I use these if I’m grieving or depressed?
A: Absolutely. Start with neutral statements: “I’m grateful this pillow is soft.” No pressure to feel joy—acknowledging safety or comfort counts.

Q: What if I don’t believe the affirmation?
A: That’s normal! Try: “I’m open to feeling grateful for…”

Q: How many should I do daily?
A: 1-3 is plenty. Quality > quantity.

Q: Should I journal them or say them aloud?
A: Whatever feels easier. Whisper in the shower, type in your Notes app—it all works.

Q: Can kids use these?
A: Yes! Simplify: “I’m thankful my teacher smiled at me today.”

Gratitude Affirmations: Small Shifts, Big Results

Gratitude affirmations won’t erase life’s messes, but they’ll help you find pockets of light. My challenge to you: Try one affirmation today. Not tomorrow, not “when things calm down”—today.

Because here’s the secret: You don’t need more time, energy, or a perfect life. You just need 10 seconds and one tiny thing that’s working.

The post 🌟 Why Gratitude Affirmations Are Your Secret Weapon for a Better Life appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

Well, enough to consider him a solution to their coaching needs. However, what they couldn’t see is what did him in. After spending a month analyzing Jones, here are the flaws I uncovered:

• Is overly demanding
• Doesn’t listen
• Is intolerant of dissent
• Takes the credit for success
• Blames others for mistakes
• Is untrustworthy—doesn’t do what he says he’ll do
• Is aloof—seen as arrogant
• Has a dictatorial style
• Is abrasive

It’s fairly obvious, after the fact, that Coach Jones has some serious flaws related to interpersonal interactions (he is comfortable with a transactional style of conversation) and relationship building. Nowhere in his flaws will you find a glitch in his knowledge of the sport. He has a great command of the X’s and O’s. But he has some serious team building flaws.

The two primary blind spots that emerged are: 1) his need to be right in all situations, and 2) avoiding accountability to his players and staff. Coach Jones’ “I know” attitude produced such flaws as taking credit for success and his unwillingness to listen. The desire to avoid accountability (to the stakeholders) produced his blaming of others and his dictatorial leadership style and abrasive attitude toward relationship building created cool relationships between him and his staff and players.

The prognosis for Coach Jones is not good. If he fails to discover his fatal flaws his coaching career will never recover. As a prominent coach told me, “We’re pretty good at directing our players to change, but not so great at changing ourselves.”

New to the Second Edition of Coaching for Leadership!

We are pleased to announce a new chapter to the second edition of the best-selling Coaching for Leadership. The chapter, The Big Shift: Unlock Your Team’s Potential by Creating Player-Led Teambuilding, connects the previous edition of this book to its origin, as well as to the future of team sports.

The new chapter sets forth a practical and applicable agenda for change and improvement. The reader is introduced to seven vital elements of change; seven shifts of traditional mental models that lead to the new core principles necessary for creating a player-led team culture. Click here for more information about Coaching for Leadership

About Cory Dobbs, Ed.D.

Cory Dobbs is the founder of The Academy for Sport Leadership and a nationally recognized thought leader in the areas of leadership and team building.  Cory is an accomplished researcher of human experience. Cory engages in naturalistic inquiry seeking in-depth understanding of social phenomena within their natural setting.

A college basketball coach, Cory’s coaching background includes experience at the NCAA DII, NJCAA, and high school levels of competition.  After a decade of research and development Cory unleashed the groundbreaking Teamwork Intelligence program for student-athletics. Teamwork Intelligence illuminates the process of designing an elite team by using the 20 principles and concepts along with the 8 roles of a team player he’s uncovered while performing research.

Cory has worked with professional athletes, collegiate athletic programs, and high schools teaching leadership and team building as a part of the sports experience and education process.  As a consultant and trainer Dr. Dobbs has worked with Fortune 500 organizations such as American Express, Honeywell, and Avnet, as well as medium and small businesses. Dr. Dobbs taught leadership and organizational change at Northern Arizona University, Ohio University, and Grand Canyon University.

The post A Flawed Reality: When it’s Time to Reflect appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

However, most players are blind to teamwork dynamics. The result is team culture of the high-performance variety is more elusive than most of us care to believe. But it’s true. It is very likely your culture is nothing spectacular. To understand changing culture you must engage “leverage points.” Figuring out where to start is far from straightforward; it depends upon where your team is and where you want to go. Sounds simple enough, it’s not. So where might you begin?

In short, a good place to start—a leverage point—is to seek out whatever creates toxicity. So what is the most pernicious poison of culture building? Playing time. Every student-athlete wants more playing time. On the one hand student-athletes are quick to declare “all in” on the team thing. Yet, on the other hand, the world says take care of number one—and student-athletes are all in here too. In the spacious context of self-interest, one can self-justify what one does in the interest of the team. From the perspective of the student-athlete, the needs and wants of the individual player need to be met by some type of desired compensation. Simply said, if a student-athlete pays the price of time, effort, and energy—contributing to the development of the team, they’ll expect to get something in return.

The line that separates the individual’s self-interest from the team’s self-interest is blurred; it’s difficult to see where one begins and the other ends. We know they overlap, spill-over, and interrelate, yet do not know exactly what form the mixture of these two driving forces will contribute to the team’s culture. However, learning how to navigate this messy terrain will help coaches, players, and teams to see more and do more. If done right, the navigation of the messy terrain will give you a new way of looking at the pernicious problem of playing time.
 

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The greatest and highest reward for one’s effort and toil is not what one gets for it, but who one becomes by it. This small, but potentially seismic shift in perspective—a radical reorientation—is filled with a profound sense of promise and possibility. The rewards are undeniable. Toiling for others on the team is noble, and unites the team. Participation on a team provides comfort and community. By being a part of something bigger than one’s self student-athletes gain meaning and worth. The athlete’s toil and inner struggle are never in vain if the goal is well-being; accessing a higher level being, and redirecting and reshaping one’s inner experience so that they have the freedom of choice on who they want to become.

New to the Second Edition of Coaching for Leadership!

We are pleased to announce a new chapter to the second edition of the best-selling Coaching for Leadership. The chapter, The Big Shift: Unlock Your Team’s Potential by Creating Player-Led Teambuilding, connects the previous edition of this book to its origin, as well as to the future of team sports.

The new chapter sets forth a practical and applicable agenda for change and improvement. The reader is introduced to seven vital elements of change; seven shifts of traditional mental models that lead to the new core principles necessary for creating a player-led team culture. Click here for more information about Coaching for Leadership

About Cory Dobbs, Ed.D.

Cory Dobbs is the founder of The Academy for Sport Leadership and a nationally recognized thought leader in the areas of leadership and team building.  Cory is an accomplished researcher of human experience. Cory engages in naturalistic inquiry seeking in-depth understanding of social phenomena within their natural setting.

A college basketball coach, Cory’s coaching background includes experience at the NCAA DII, NJCAA, and high school levels of competition.  After a decade of research and development Cory unleashed the groundbreaking Teamwork Intelligence program for student-athletics. Teamwork Intelligence illuminates the process of designing an elite team by using the 20 principles and concepts along with the 8 roles of a team player he’s uncovered while performing research.

Cory has worked with professional athletes, collegiate athletic programs, and high schools teaching leadership and team building as a part of the sports experience and education process.  As a consultant and trainer Dr. Dobbs has worked with Fortune 500 organizations such as American Express, Honeywell, and Avnet, as well as medium and small businesses. Dr. Dobbs taught leadership and organizational change at Northern Arizona University, Ohio University, and Grand Canyon University.

The post Radical Reorientation: An Intense Approach to Student-Athlete Well-Being appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

Practically every single of us lives with this curse. We grew up with it. We didn’t even notice it. We accepted it, like a person blind from birth to accept darkness as a default.

We are cursed and the name of the curse is the Small Potential.

The Small Potential is a belief that at least 80% of what matters in life is your individual qualities, possessions, character, achievements and performance.

We accept it as an axiom. Of course, you need to have good grades! Of course, you have to shoot goals and get points! Of course, you need to be in top shape! Of course, you need to deliver your projects on time and within a budget! Of course, you need to live in a great house with your family!

Of course.

But there is one awful thing that underlines this “of course” – and the others be damned.

It Starts in Childhood

Our school system is to be blamed for a big piece of this sad state of affairs.

I had been indoctrinated since my first class that getting good grades is my only education goal. What was worse, no one taught me the importance and value of collaboration. I was limited to the Small Potential since day #1 of entering the traditional school system. Each day, month and year only deepened that indoctrination.

Even when I finally got involved in some collaborative classes in a high school it felt like it was an afterthought. Those group projects “didn’t really matter” in the eyes of the educational system. What mattered were good grades.

It Continues at Work

Work systems were no different. I remember only one environment where group effort was important – when I worked on a salad field in the UK. We were paid by the job and if I slacked, the whole team suffered. Also, if the whole team worked hard we all made more money in the effect.

However, it is hard to say that this system was directed toward Big Potential. There was no growth built in that job. There is a certain limit on how efficient you can get with repeatable manual tasks.

And that was the only instance my performance was connected to my team’s performance in the work setup. I worked for several companies and I’m all too familiar with the infamous corporate yearly performance review system.

Even if there were some points about the team’s performance, they were thrown into like a third wheel. No one has ever paid attention to them. And they were indeed few and far between.

Everything was focused on me: Did I achieve my goals for the period? Did I improve my knowledge as it was assumed? Did I take classes and pass exams? Did I finish my tasks on time and with reasonable quality?

Me, myself and I, all the time.

No wonder I was tricked into Small Potential thinking. I have been indoctrinated for my whole life.

We Look in the Wrong Direction

We kind of realize, there is more than the individual performance, but we consider it to be a small factor, when in fact, it is the biggest one.

I remember when I was changing primary schools at the age of 11 or 12. My mom enumerated all the advantages to her friend and I was listening: the new school was closer, it had better equipment and better conditions.

At the end my mom added with a light air:

“And, by the way, the class Michal goes to is the best in the whole school.”

She had no idea that this was the biggest factor in my educational success. I was a bright kid and I got As’ more often than not. I remember my mom saying how proud she is of me. She never commented about the whole class’ performance.

My boys went to the same high technical school. When I browsed the school’s website looking for a list of textbooks, I discovered that this school is the best in the whole county when it comes to final exam results. To be exact, the average grades of all students are the best. It’s the individual metric, but in this context, it says something about the whole community’s performance.

This metric should attract my attention when my sons were looking for a high school. It should be my primary concern. It wasn’t. I discovered it by accident when my elder son was already attending the school.

We Sense the Littleness of the Small Potential

We know on some subconscious level that Small Potential is small. Several months ago I got a solid verbal spanking from my supervisor. I had been slacking in my day job. It was my problem and my fault. But the argument that was the strongest and hurt the most was:

“The whole team suffers because of your laziness. They have to make up for what you neglect.”

We sense what’s important, but because of lifelong indoctrination, we choose to ignore it. We focus on the Small Potential, instead of the big one: a team’s performance.

But We Choose to Ignore the Big Potential

I have access to several awesome support groups. I’m active in a Facebook group for authors, a couple of groups for online entrepreneurs, and another group for those who advertise their books on Amazon. I still keep a lively contact with my friends from the Transformational Contest. I have a couple of accountability partners. I’m in a mastermind. I have my church community; those folks have been known me for 14 years!

I don’t utilize those connections even in 2%.

And I cannot break out of it. I’m indoctrinated. I focus on myself all the time.

I could’ve got so much more from those communities. I could’ve bounced around every question about ads on Amazon; every question about running an online business; every question about resources for self-publishers; every doubt about my faith; every life’s dilemma.

But I don’t. I don’t ask questions. I don’t ask for help. Interacting rarely even crosses my mind.

What Can You Contribute?

I could’ve helped everybody around so much more.  I have so much knowledge about self-publishing, running book ads on Amazon or marketing and technical aspects of creating an online business.

I’ve been married for 18 years; I have three kids – I have life wisdom to share.
I have rich experience about what works in personal development and what doesn’t.
I’ve been in the church community for over 20 years, I study the Bible and read books written by saints every day. I have some spiritual experiences to share.

But I don’t. Why?

Because my knowledge about the Big Potential stays at the intellectual level. I don’t truly realize how important it is to cooperate and interact. I should’ve realized; my church community, mastermind and the experience of the Transformational Contest weren’t theoretical. I gained a lot from them.

Yet, I still don’t feel it at a gut level. It’s like with kids and the importance of education. When I was a kid – and I see the same attitude in my kids – my parents’ preaching about the significance of education fell on deaf ears. School and learning is, in the eyes of kids, a drudgery.

Networking and connecting is drudgery for me. I’m an introvert. I feel good alone. Nothing beats an hour or ten spend with a good book. Certainly, it beats 10 hours spent with other people.

I’m cursed with the Small Potential

You are too.

Iperformance grows. This is how you truly reach your full potential, your Big Potential that is an order of magnitude greater than what you can achieve alone.

Don’t Limit Yourself with the Small Potential

Self-help is a big fat lie. You cannot expand beyond yourself on your own. I cannot as well.

Let it penetrate your thick skull: you are sentenced to minimal results in all areas of your life if you focus primarily on yourself. If you don’t interact with others, if you don’t consider them MORE important than you, you limit yourself to a fraction of what’s possible.

“Nothing is to be done out of jealousy or vanity; instead, out of humility of mind everyone should give preference to others, everyone pursuing not selfish interests but those of others.” Philippians 2: 3-4

Get out of your shell.

I’m going out starting today.

The post Unlock Your Big Potential appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

I’ve been counseling using Positive Psychology for many years. Positive, happy people do have an easier time in life, and bounce back from problems faster. There are always things you can do to increase your level of optimism, even if you can’t change who you are. Whether you realize it or not, you are responsible for lifting your own feelings, being a positive person, and no one else is responsible for making you feel better.

To become more positive:

Write down and visualize your goals.

This programs your brain to help you find the positive steps you can take to meet your goals. It will alert your brain to notice things and events that are related to your goal. You will automatically be more aware of certain events, opportunities and people who can be helpful. You’ll also be more clear about what you want, and this will sneak into your conversation and your general attitude, where others can pick up on it.

Ask politely for what you want.

The easiest way to get what you want is to make a pleasant request, and deliver it with a big smile and a warm look. Please is very important, and so is a gracious smile, eye contact, and a warm thank you when the request is met. If you make requests confidently, as if you expect to get a “yes,” it ups the odds that you’ll get one. “Please go to lunch with me” works better than “You wouldn’t want to go to lunch, would you?”

Dress as if you feel special, and act that way.

The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you. Make sure you present yourself well, dress and act the part.

Accept favors, gifts and compliments gracefully, with thanks.

Don’t worry about whether you deserve the compliment: if someone says something nice, and you respond that you don’t deserve it, you’re effectively calling that person a liar; which is not charming at all. Gratitude for kindness begets more kindness. Nothing works better than a pleasant “thank you so much” to make the kind person feel appreciated, and wanting to give you more. You can also accept credit and still share credit with others: “Thank you so much; it was really Susan’s idea.” Accepts the compliment and shares the love.

Practice a new situation before you do it.

I recommend the “roll the tape” exercise: picture yourself taking some small risk, and watch the scene play out. “Re- roll the tape” several times, and go through the scene again. Practice some different responses and different approaches until you feel comfortable with it. Then, you can try it in the real world.

To enhance your positive experience, do the following steps before any new activity:

Make a mental note of the possibilities: Can you learn something there? Can you meet a new friend? Could it be fun? Will just getting out of the house and around new people feel good?

Remind yourself of your goals: You’re going there to make new friends and to have fun or to learn.

Review your positive personal qualities: What do your friends like about you? What do you like about you? Your intelligence, your sense of humor, your style, your conversation skills? Are you a kind and caring person? Reminding yourself of these qualities means you will enter the event radiating that positive energy.

Thinking and self talk are critical.

Change your thinking.

Everyone has running dialog in their heads, which can be negative and self-defeating, or positive and energizing. Your thoughts affect your mood, and how you relate to yourself can either lift or dampen your spirits. Neuronal activity in the brain activates hormones which are synonymous with feelings. One thing you can do is to monitor your self-talk: what do you say to yourself about the upcoming day, about mistakes, about your luck? If these messages are negative, changing them can indeed lift your spirits and your optimism. The good news is that you can choose to replace your negative monologue with something more positive.

Self-talk.

Self-talk is the most powerful tool you have for turning your negative feelings to positive and your negative interactions with your partner to love. Your brain tends to repeat familiar things over and over, wearing the established neuronal pathways deeper and deeper. Repeating a mantra, an affirmation or a choice over and over creates new pathways, which eventually become automatic. The new thoughts will run through your head like the old thoughts did, or like a popular song you’ve heard over and over.

Make the best of who you are.

If you love silence, tend to be quiet, like quiet conversations and not big parties, this may be a genetic trait: your hearing, and nervous system may be more sensitive than someone else’s, and this trait will not go away. You can, however, make the most of it, and learn that creating plenty of quiet in your life will make you a happier person. Quiet moments with your partner will be especially meaningful to you, and make you happy.

If, on the other hand, you’re a party animal-social, enjoying noise and excitement, you can also use that as an asset. You will bring the party to your relationships and music and activity will lift your spirits.

Take charge of your negative thoughts.

Negative thoughts are the one thing totally in your control. Turn them around; argue with them, fight them off, wrestle with them. Put energy into it. Let go of whatever you can’t control, such as other people, life’s events, loss, disappointment. Stop trying to change what won’t change, accept what is, let it be and live life as it is. Yes, I know it’s easier said than done, but once you get a handle on it, life itself is easier. Fretting about what you can’t control is an endless, useless waste of energy you can use elsewhere.

Here are some things you can try that will help in making you more positive:

Make a note.

Write positive comments to yourself on your daily calendar for jobs well done or any achievements you want to celebrate. Your partner will also appreciate little love notes or thank you notes left around to surprise and delight.

Look to your childhood.

Use activities that felt like a celebration in your childhood: did your family toast a celebration with champagne or sparkling cider, a special dessert, a gathering of friends, or a thankful prayer? Create a celebration environment: use balloons, music, flowers, candles, or set your table with the best china. Work with your partner to incorporate both of your childhood celebration elements.

Use visible reminders.

Surround yourself with visible evidence of your successes. Plant a commemorative rosebush or get a new houseplant to mark a job well done, or display photos of fun events, and sports or hobby trophies. It’s a constant reminder that you appreciate yourself and your partner that you’ll both feel daily.

Reward yourself and your friends.

Go out for ice cream, high five each other, toast with champagne or ginger ale in fancy glasses, take a day off for just the two of you, and party every chance you get.

Try laughter.

Find a way to laugh with your partner and others around you every day. Share jokes, funny memories, comedic movies and Internet jokes. It will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.

Gratitude

Gratitude is something that always helps remind us that life is not all bad. Every day I see the positive effects of getting my clients to focus on gratitude. The things we feel good about are easily taken for granted, so making sure you spend some of your time noticing what you’re grateful for gives you a chance to register the good things in your life, reduce your stress and anxiety, and feel better about yourself, your relationship, and your life. While stress and anxiety cause the body to release adrenalin and testosterone, focusing on gratitude floods you with oxytocin, acetylcholine and other calming, relaxing agents. Hormones are emotions, emotions are hormones, so when you’re flooded with happy hormones you’ll feel good, and so will those around you.

Daily thanks.

Take some time each day to be thankful for each and every thing that comes your way. Do this silently, for yourself, not ostentatiously, to impress others. If you say a grace before meals, say it silently, and think about how fortunate you are. Hold hands with your partner or family and give thanks for your love.

Keep a gratitude list.

For one week, list every good thing that comes your way-a funny e-mail, a phone call, a business success, a loving gesture, or a sweet moment with your partner. At the end of the week, you’ll be astounded at how much you receive.

Thank your loved ones.

Thanking your partner allows both of you to feel valued. Gratitude is powerful, and, used properly, a much greater motivator than demanding, criticizing, or nagging. Creative gratitude is the most powerful kind. It’s easy to scope out what kind of thank you will be memorable for a particular person, when you’re paying attention. Recognition is a powerful motivating factor, and a little gratitude can go a long way.

Counter negative thoughts.

Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, counter it by giving thanks for something that is good in your life. Change your focus from what’s wrong to what is right.

Count your blessings.

Count everything you already have that you cherish. Consider beginning a gratitude journal, and noting all the positive things, beloved possessions, and tender moments you experience. Or, start a gratitude jar, and note down on scraps of paper all the positive things, beloved friends, favorite possessions, and tender moments you experience in your life and relationship, and store them in the jar. Then whenever you feel frustrated, down or discouraged, pull out a few papers and read them. You’ll find that reminding yourself of all you have to be grateful for will cheer you up and help you remember that your life is a good one.

Get to know yourself.

Just checking in with yourself on a daily basis, knowing how you feel and what you think about whatever is going on in your life will make you happier, and reduce your stress. Being kind to yourself and having a good relationship with you will make all your relationships with other people go more smoothly. Whether you realize it or not, the relationship you have with yourself sets the pattern for how you connect with your partner. By developing a nurturing way to relate to yourself, you create a personal experience of both giving and receiving love.

Know how to soothe yourself.

Familiarity with your feelings helps you make appropriate choices in every phase of your life. When you know how you feel, you also know how to comfort yourself when you’re stressed or tired. What makes you most comfortable, soothes you, helps you recharge? It can be anything from a bubble bath, a session of shooting baskets, a yoga session, or your favorite music to a long walk in the country, a good workout, a phone conversation with your best friend, or a nap. Make a list of your favorite “personal rechargers” and include simple things you can do cheaply (such as relax with a cup of tea and read a favorite book) and also things that are very special (such as a vacation or a massage or a facial). Keep the list where you can refer to it whenever you feel in need of a recharge, and make use of it often.

Maintain your happiness.

Doing what you can to bring as much happiness as possible to yourself and others. Being happy is undeniably good for you; the endorphins it releases reduce stress and pain, and boost your health and immune system. Happiness makes you glad to be alive and pleasant to be around.

Set aside regular time for yourself.

Me time is important for nurturing your relationship with yourself. It is proof that you care about yourself, just as when partner spends time with you, you feel cared about. Take your time for you as seriously as your business appointments or time with your partner. It will help you stay on an even keel, and be a better partner.

Spend time with people you love.

Being with people you care about and who care about you is a great way to affirm your value as a person, and to confirm that your life has meaning and purpose. Make sure you take good care of your friendships and your relationship. Knowing you are loved is a great way to take care of you. Emotional maintenance means thinking about emotional health and staying in touch with your feelings. When you focus on emotional self-care, you and your partner will find hope and energy are created, which gives you even more reason for gratitude.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tina_Tessina/34086

The post How to Be a Positive Person appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

I’ve coached thousands of people who want to change habits, in my Sea Change Program, and I’ve found there’s a key difference between those who actually make changes and those who don’t.

That key difference is what I like to call “habit resilience.”

Habit resilience is the ability to bounce back when things don’t go as you planned, to stay positive, to encourage yourself, to forgive yourself, to be loving and compassionate with yourself, to shake it off and start again afresh. To learn and grow from struggles.

The opposite of habit resilience is getting discouraged when things don’t go as planned, beating yourself up, trying not to think about it when you mess up, ignoring problems, complaining, blaming others, deciding you can’t change, hardening your low or harsh opinion of yourself.

Let’s look at one example:

I want to change my eating habits, which is pretty tough to do … so I set myself a plan to eat oats for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and scrambled tofu with veggies for dinner. Great! But then during the week, I have to go to a work get-together, a family party, a 3-day trip to New York, and then my daughter’s birthday party. All the plans went out the window on those days.

So at this point, I can give up, beat myself up, ignore the problem … or, if I’ve developed habit resilience, I can shake myself off, make some adjustments to the plan, give myself some love, encourage myself, and start again, keeping a positive attitude the whole time. The second way of doing it will result in long-term change — if you can stick with it, there’s no change you can’t create.

That’s just one version of habit resilience, but you can see the difference between the first option and the second one is huge.

So how do we develop habit resilience? Let’s take a look.

Developing Habit Resilience

The good news is that you can develop this marvelous quality or skill of habit resilience. Actually, it’s a set of skills, but they can be developed with some practice.

Here’s how to develop habit resilience:

Loosen your hold on expectations. When we start to make changes in our lives, we often have unrealistic expectations. Six-pack abs in four weeks! But when we actually try to hit those expectations, we usually fall short. At least, at first. Over the long run, we can often make greater changes than we think we can. But over the short term, the changes are small, and not very orderly either. Change is messy. So just expect things to go less than ideally. Don’t be too attached to how you expect things to go, so that when your expectations aren’t met, you can just take it in stride.

Learn the skill of adjusting. If your diet plan doesn’t go as planned, it’s not necessarily a fault of yours — it’s the fault of the method or plan. How can you make it better to accommodate your life? Maybe you can get some accountability, set up some reminders, get rid of junk food from you house, and so on. There are a thousand ways to adjust a plan or method. When things go wrong, look for a way to adjust, don’t just give up.

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness. This is so important, but most people have the opposite habit — when things go wrong, we often beat ourselves up, are critical and harsh. Those kinds of reactions are unhelpful and can keep us stuck in old habits for years. Instead, we need to learn to be kinder to ourselves when we don’t measure up to what we hope we’ll be. When we let ourselves down, it’s important to forgive ourselves. Be compassionate, seeing our own suffering and wishing for relief from that suffering. Wishing for peace for ourselves. Being loving to ourselves, no matter what we do.

Don’t ignore problems, face them with kindness. That said, being forgiving is very different

than just pretending it didn’t happen. If we’ve gone off our exercise plan, or stopped meditating … don’t just ignore the problem, not wanting to face it. Instead, turn towards the problem, and look at it with kindness. It’s like if you have a crying child — is it better to ignore the child and just hope that they’ll shut up? That will just lead to more pain for both of you. Instead, give them a hug. Acknowledge their pain. Give them love. Be there for them. And do the same for yourself when you’re having difficulties.

Learn to encourage yourself. I wrote recently about the importance of encouragement vs. discouragement … we need to practice this regularly. When you falter, can you be encouraging to yourself? Can you stay positive in the face of failure? Can you look at it as another step in your growth, instead of failure?

Find encouragement from others. In the same way, we can get encouragement from other people. Being in a program like Sea Change, with other people who are there to encourage you, is a good way to find that support. Ask for help from friends and family. Find a good friend who will help you get back on track, with love. We are not alone — lots of others know what it’s like to struggle, and are willing to support us when we’re struggling.

Learn perseverance — keep coming back. Stay positive when things go astray, and just keep coming back to the habit you want to change. Want to quit smoking but you backtracked when your father died? Get back on it as soon as you’re able. Come back with even more resolve. Commit yourself even deeper.

Can you feel that if you practice these skills, you’ll handle any difficulty that comes your way? That your path to change might be bumpy, filled with obstacles, but nothing will stop you if you keep a positive attitude, keep coming back, keep being loving and compassionate with yourself?

This is habit resilience. And it will change your entire life, if you practice.

By Leo Babauta

The post A Guide to Habit Resilience appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

Good habits are often crucial to achieving good results and a positive outcome.
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You may be looking to lose weight, become fitter, more successful, are motivated to do well at work or feel it’s time to extend your circle of friends; all require sustained effort to continue beyond the first few enthusiastic days.

Let good habits support good results

First

The first thing to appreciate about good habits is that they must have a real resonance for you. If you’re not especially bothered about being slimmer, fitter or more successful, then that lack of enthusiasm won’t sustain you through cold dark evenings or on the tough days when your will power starts to waver. Having friends or family who are pushing you to ‘improve’ only increases your stress levels, resentment and maybe even feelings of low self-esteem. Pick good habits that feel right for you.

Small steps

Small steps are a positive way to move towards your bigger goals. Stepping-stones can help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at having to tackle everything all at once. Recognise each milestone you achieve; give yourself credit for enrolling in that class, not eating that cake, declining that alcoholic drink. Each decision takes you nearer to those good results.

Focus

Stay focused, but also appreciate that sometimes other options may appear which can add value to your life. Don’t allow yourself to become too distracted from your agreed good habits but equally be ready for great opportunities that may come along. Ring-fence the time, money or mental energy you expend on distractions. Allow yourself to make the most of them and enjoy what they bring to your life, but don’t let them take you away from the big picture and your ultimate goal.

Accountability

Being accountable to others can be a great motivator. Having to check in regularly and report on your progress ensures that you keep your eye on each stage of the journey. Knowing that you’ve a regular date in the diary can quickly push temptations out of your mind.

Support

Joining a group and working together on shared goals can provide a good support network. Exchanging tips, advice and motivational stories can give a real boost on those tired, unenthusiastic days. And if we know our attendance is important to the group’s survival it can inspire us to continue going. Being a group member, even when it’s online, can encourage us to stick with our good habits. The downside though is that if one or two members lose their enthusiasm it can demotivate the rest.

Commitments

Sometimes paying upfront to join a club or gym pushes people to go regularly, whilst others lose interest and go only a couple of times even after paying out all that money. For me, I’ve committed to a weekly delivery of locally grown organic vegetables. It’s inspired me to eat at least one item from the box every day and it’s good to cook from scratch, eat fresh organic meals, shop local and sometimes try new things that I’ve never cooked before. Having it arrive every week means there’s no excuse to slack off from eating this healthy veg, and it’s a habit I’m pleased to maintain.

Avoid temptation

Be aware of your vulnerable areas and put steps in place to mitigate them. So, for example, if you know that you find reasons to justify stopping at the petrol station, off licence or supermarket every day, where you then ‘accidentally’ buy chocolates, wine, cigarettes or scratch cards, intercept those times and don’t go. Instead, shop online or make a list and shop once a week. Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way.

Addressing issues

Using the services of a professional coach or therapist may be worth considering if you feel there are specific issues which are holding you back and which need to be addressed. Regular sessions could help you move on, introduce a positive mindset, manage stress and determine to treat yourself better.

Be gentle with yourself. It can take 2-6 months for a new habit to become your automatic default. If you experience slip ups, bad days and ‘can’t be bothered’s be kind to yourself and let them go. Remind yourself of all the good reasons you have to persist and start again, knowing that by sticking with your good habits you’ll ultimately support good results and outcomes.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She’s author of 3 books, ‘Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact’, ‘101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday’ and ‘Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain’, all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535

​More on good habits: 

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There is very little “self” in self-help. I already said that self-help is a big fat lie. However, there are still areas where outside help can do very little for you. Self-talk is the most important of them and I tackle this problem in my next book, “Power up Your Self-Talk: 6 Simple Habits to Stop Beating Yourself Up and Reclaim Your Life.”

But what is self-talk?

“When we tell ourselves something is too hard, or easy, or that we are successes or failures, it’s self-talk.”
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You are familiar with this voice in your head, this is a universal human experience. Unfortunately, it rarely says good things, especially about you. It hinders your progress like nothing else because it’s preventive in its nature. You don’t change because in 99% of cases, your self-talk convinces you to give up even before you start.

You read a self-help book that recommends doing some exercise and you think: “Later”, “It’s stupid”, “That surely will not work for me”, “I’m too stupid for that”, “It’s such a hassle.”

And you skip the exercise. That’s why, despite the countless self-help volumes guru’s readers’ success is not very common.

The authors of self-help books kind of know this problem, but they choose to ignore it. What can they do about it anyway? Sneak into your mind and say something else? They just hope the seed of their message will fall onto receptive soil.

Faulty Advice

Self-help books bombard you with a great advice:

“Imagine that…”
“Tell yourself…”
“Ask yourself…”

The advice is completely useless, because it tries to break into your habitual self-talk. You don’t really know how self-insults appear in your mind. You don’t know where the damaging questions (“Why am I such a failure?”, “Why does it always happen to me?”) come from. You cannot stop yourself in the middle of your self-tirade and say something else instead.

Why? Because self-talk is one of your most ingrained habits. I’ll picture its power by comparing it with walking.

You Think. You Walk.

If you are a reasonably healthy human being, you don’t give even an ounce of conscious attention to your steps. You just walk.

Of course, you can break down the whole process into smaller parts. When you walk, you raise your leg a bit, bend a leg at the knee joint so your foot won’t touch the surface, lean forward just a tiny bit, move your left arm, lift your right arm- both synchronized so you keep your balance, move the leg forward, put the foot on the ground, move your center of weight and support your weight on the lead foot.

Changing how you walk is possible, but extremely hard. You will fall back into your old walking habits as soon as your attention gets away from conscious control over your movements. You can steer your self-talk in the same fashion in which you can control your steps. In theory, it’s pretty simple. In practice the power of habit will always win and you fall back to old patterns.

Those good tips from self-help books are like advice to raise your foot a bit higher, bend the knee harder or take bigger steps. They may work in isolation and when you put your whole attention on implementation. They try to affect your thinking patterns, which are already firmly established. In fact, your thinking patterns are fossilized.

Fight Habit with Habits

It’s easier to start a new habit than to modify an existing one. And removing an old habit is downright impossible. They are hardcoded in your brain. Besides, removing your self-talk altogether is not possible. It’s one of the things that make us human. You also cannot replace self-talk with some new habit.

Improving of your self-talk, as hard as it is, is the only option.

And I can teach you how to do it. In fact, I have four times more chances to teach you this skill because I’ve been there and I’ve done that. My self-talk was crappy. I insulted myself habitually. My self-esteem wasn’t even so-so. I had a negative spiral in my life.

I thought badly about myself, I thought I’m a failure and that prevented me from taking any action. Why bother? I was a failure, so I would failed again. With no action no improvement could happen in my life. So my life was getting worse and my self-talk gathered more ‘evidence’ that I was a failure.

But I turned my life around and I turned it by taking action, not by talking to myself. Well, I thought so. Anyway, my self-talk is definitely better now than it was six years ago. I modified my inner conversation from the very beginning, I just wasn’t aware I did.

I reverse-engineered what I was doing that caused a shift in my self-talk.

Improve Your Mood

First, you need to start feeling better. Crappy self-talk beats the crap out of you. Or rather, it beats the crap into you, so it stays there ready to emerge every time you want to do something outside the status quo. Thus, for the most of the time you feel like sh*t. No wonder, if you say to yourself things like:

“You worthless piece of sh*t!”

There is little sense in trying to change your life, if you feel beaten to death all the time. You need some habits that will bring sunshine into your internal world.

The easiest remedy? Smile.

Know Thyself

Then, you need self-awareness. A sh*tload of it. The grip of your self-talk over your life is so strong mostly because you don’t even notice it. It’s like those elephants which were chained as a puppy. They learned that chain constraints their movements and they stopped trying to free themselves. Later on the powerful animals don’t even try to break from a thin chain.

A lot of your self-talk comes from your childhood and adolescent years. You were weak, vulnerable and not used to using your rational mind to solve life problems. Later, as an adult, you don’t even notice that your childish self-talk keeps you in captivity.

Hence, you need a few habits that boost your self-awareness. You need to notice your self-talk to be able to do something with it. This is where most authors and coaches fall. They give you advice that you are not able to implement. I’ve just listened to a podcast with a top psychiatrist. He advises people with depression to stop when they feel sad, overwhelmed or disappointed with themselves and analyze their thoughts: Is this even true? Is this always true? Why do I think this?

The problem is those poor folks aren’t aware when they feel sad, overwhelmed or disappointed with themselves. It’s their default state! They have no idea WHEN to stop the vicious cycle of self-beating that goes on autopilot.

You need to practice simple habits, easy to do, day in and day out, which will bring to your attention to what’s actually going through your mind. Only then you can stop and challenge your thoughts.

Power up Your Self-Talk

Once you do something to elevate your mood and gained some self-awareness, you can actually do something with your self-talk. One of the most prevailing thoughts at the beginning of my transformation was “It’s impossible.”

It was so annoying! Whatever I tried to do, whatever I dreamed of “it’s impossible” had appeared in my head. Thus, I introduced a new expression into my vocabulary. Whenever “it’s impossible” crossed my mind, I replied with a mantra singing in my mind to a catchy tune four times “It’s possible, it’s possible, it’s possible, it’s possible.”

There are also other methods that work on a more subconscious level, like gratitude journaling.

And once you start doing something about your negative self-talk, once it’s improving, your whole life improves.

…and Reclaim Your Life

I learned how to temporarily boost my mood often. I became more self-aware of what was going through my mind on a daily basis. At last, I started responding differently to my offensive self-talk.

This was a lengthy process between the first decision and getting tangible results. It took me eight months before I published my first book. It took me 17 months before I earned significant amount of money from my side hustle.

But some results were speedy. I almost doubled my reading speed in a month. I achieved my dream weight in less than half a year.

However, the most important effect was my overall quality of life. As one review on Amazon says:

“I had no idea how much I mentally or verbally beat myself up all the time.”

I had no idea how this self-beating kept me down all the time.

I improved everything in my life. I doubled my income. I was sick only three times since July 2013. I bought the first house for my family.

I started three successful new careers – as an author, a life coach and a book marketer. I pray about 10 times more than six years ago. I obtained a few professional certificates and changed my job getting 30% salary raise. My answers on Quora got over 5 million views. I published 15 books which sold over 50,000 copies.

All of this happened because I dealt with the vicious voice in my head.

Take Action

I’m far from being a master of my internal dialog. But I significantly dropped the level of emotional turmoil in my life caused by what I tell myself. My self-talk didn’t change enormously, I still talk to myself like a drunken felon all too often. But it doesn’t hurt me as much as in the past.

And most importantly, it doesn’t stop me right in my tracks. I act. I’m above the whispers in my head. I steer the direction of my life, not the random thoughts that are bouncing inside my skull.

I want the same for you. Take action.

From ExpandBeyondYourself

The post Power Up Your Self-Talk appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

Have you ever wondered why some people are naturally much happier than others?
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The difference is that they have learned to handle them better, and their optimistic outlook has come about primarily because they have acquired the “happiness habit.”

Happiness

What do we mean by the “happiness habit”? To understand it, let’s begin by considering briefly what each of the words mean, starting with “happiness.” What exactly is happiness? A simple dictionary definition is “happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant most of the time.” It’s important to add to this that it is something that you experience now, and not some time in the future. If you are looking forward to it happening some time in the future, you’re obviously not experiencing it now. Happiness can’t be contingent on anything; it has to happen now. Furthermore, it can’t depend on other people, or exterior events of any kind.

It is something that is developed in the mind, so it’s created by your thought and attitudes. This means that it is going to take some effort on your part. You aren’t suddenly going to become happy by saying to yourself, “I’m going to be happy.” This is like saying “I’m going to play the flute (assuming you know nothing about the flute).” To play the flute you have to learn how the notes are formed, then you have to practice it. As strange as it might seem, this also applies to happiness. You’re going to have to devote considerable time into learning how to be happy, and this is done by practicing it until it becomes second nature.

Habit

This brings us to the second of the words in our phrase, namely “habit.” According to the dictionary it

is ” a behavioral pattern that is acquired by frequent repetition, or an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.”

So, to develop a habit we see that practice is needed. To perfect anything you have to start by making a conscious decision to do it as accurately and as correctly as possible. Then you do it over and over, and soon you find that you don’t have to think about it anymore. It has become automatic — a habit.

What do we have to practice over and over to develop the “happiness habit?” The following are some of the main things.

1. Start first thing in the morning. Resolve to smile and be as cheerful as possible throughout the day. Make sure you carry it out.
2. When a pessimistic or negative thought of any kind come into your mind, replace it quickly with a positive thought.
3. Expect the best in everything and act as if it has already come to pass.
4. Several times a day tell yourself how lucky you are to have as many things as you have. Spend several minutes thinking about each of them.
5. Greet your friends with a big smile and a handshake, and if possible, compliment them on something.

Memorize the above list and practice each of the things in it day after day until they become a habit and you’ll soon find that you feel much better, and are happier

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Barry_R_Parker/215203

The post How to Develop the Happiness Habit appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.

When we sabotage our habit changes, it’s because of rationalizations.
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When we find reasons to procrastinate and not do our meaningful work, it’s because of rationalizations.

Some common examples of rationalizations that get in our way:

I’m too busy, I don’t have time right now (actually, you have time, you’re using busyness to put this important thing off)

I am too tired to do it now (but you had energy to do everything else, it’s just a matter of prioritization; also you don’t have to do too much, just do a little if you’re tired)

I really need to clean things right now (no, you don’t)

It’s OK to just check email (or messages) for a minute (but if you accept that rationalization, you’ll keep accepting it, and then you sabotaged yourself)

It’s not worth the effort, it won’t make enough of a difference (you don’t know that, you’re just minimizing it to get out of doing it)

I’m not a morning person (you don’t have to be, try opening up to the experience)

It’s too hard, I don’t want to do it anymore (you can do a little more, and it’s not too hard, you can do it)

It’s overwhelming, there’s so much to do (just focus on the next small step)

I got interrupted (by visitors, travel, sickness, crisis) and now it’s hard to start again (just start, take the smallest next step)

I’m feeling discouraged (find a way to encourage yourself)

I really don’t feel like it now (don’t wait until you feel like it, just do it)

I’ve failed so many times in the past, I won’t do stick to it now (you can change, give it a shot)

I don’t know how to do this (but you can figure it out)

It won’t hurt to put it off just this one time (except you know that this usually leads to bad results, so it does hurt)

I have to do this other stuff right now (but is that absolutely true, or are you just rationalizing?)

I’m going to do a terrible job and everyone will think I’m stupid (you don’t know this, and in fact speculating on it isn’t helpful, it’s better to focus on what you need to do right now; also, failure is a good thing, because it’s how you learn)

I can do it later (yeah of course you can, but you can also do it now)

I don’t really need to do this, I’ve already done a lot, and this isn’t that necessary (yep, all true, but actually this is something you decided you really do want to do, so do it!)

I’m not strong enough (bullshit)

I call bullshit on all of the above. Rationalizations are lies our minds make up to get out of discomfort and uncertainty. It’s completely understandable that we’d make up these rationalizations, but we don’t need to believe them.

But we can put ourselves in discomfort and uncertainty and be completely OK. The world won’t end, and we won’t crumble. In fact, it will only make us stronger, better, more resilient.

Here’s how to deal with these bullshit rationalizations.

How to Deal with Rationalizations

Overcoming rationalizations is about bringing awareness to them, and then not believing them.

So my main suggestions are to:

1. Write down your rationalizations (make a document with a list of the ones you tell yourself)
2. And then don’t believe or follow any of them (throw them out!)

That said, here are some other things you can do to help yourself deal with rationalizations:

Become more and more aware of the rationalizations as you tell them to yourself.

You’ll start to become very aware of the most common ones. As I said, write them down.

Come up with counterarguments based on actual experience.

There is some truth to just about every rationalization — you are tired, you might fail, you are busy,

it won’t hurt if you skip it just this one time. But despite this nugget of truth in rationalizations, they are really true. Being tired doesn’t mean you should skip it — it means you need to structure your life to get more rest, or prioritize the important things for when you’re not tired. You might fail, but that’s not a reason to give up. And so on. Come up with a better counterargument for your common rationalizations, and write them down. Remind yourself of them when the rationalization kicks in.

Stop believing in the rationalization — call B.S.

Yep, start calling them out as lies. Say, “Nice try, brain, I know you’re scared but I got this.” Give your brain a hug, then dive in.

Focus on the smallest step.

If you are tired or overwhelmed or scared or busy or feeling like this is too hard … remove that objection by dividing the project or task into something smaller. Write one paragraph instead of writing for an hour. Fill out the first few lines of your tax form instead of having to do all your taxes. Meditate for just five breaths instead of 20 minutes. Put your entire focus into that one small thing instead of worrying about everything else.

Don’t let yourself negotiate.

Figure out what you want to commit to doing ahead of time. When it comes time to do it, your brain will start using that classic addict’s tactic of bargaining. Don’t let it negotiate. You decided already, no questioning that decision. Just do it. Let yourself revisit that decision later, after you’ve done it and when you’re in a place to decide, not when you’re facing discomfort and wanting to get out of it.

Practice moving into it it with ease.

Believe it or not, you can move into the thing you’re resisting with ease. It’s a matter of practice: you do the next movement, and then the next. For example, if I have to meditate and my brain is coming up with reasons I don’t need to … I just move over to where my meditation cushion is. Then I pick it up. Then I head over to where I like to meditate. Then I put down the cushion. Then I sit on it. Then I start my timer. Each step is so easy, I don’t even need to think about it. I just move.

Practice moving towards what you resist.

We try to shy away from the things we most resist, but we can make it a habit to move towards our resistance at least a few times a day, if not more.

Remind yourself why this is important.

For me, it’s a matter of reminding myself of my purpose and my mission — I’m doing this out of love for the people I serve. If I meditate on their hearts, it moves me in the right direction. If I am moved by fear or discomfort, I usually move in the wrong direction. So I need to remember.

I believe you can overcome any rationalization if you call B.S. on it, and practice these ideas. Actually, I’ve written a whole book and training package on this in the last week (practicing with my own rationalizations), called Fearless Purpose.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”
~Dr. Seuss

BY LEO BABAUTA

The post Oh, the Rationalizations Your Brain Will Dream Up! appeared first on Personal Development Toolbox.