Note from Celes: This will be the final guest post from Cornel and the last post in the Corporate Career Column. I would like to thank Cornel for his amazing contributions in the past three months: from the three-part office politics series, to the work-life balance article, to today’s post on how to conduct effective meetings. Be sure to swing over to his blog, Poise Catalyst, for more amazing posts on getting the best out of your career and life!

How much of your time goes into job-related meetings on a weekly basis? My guess is that a lot! Whether you chair the meeting or you are just a participant, meetings occupy a large portion of your time.

Imagine the benefits if you manage to make your meetings just a bit more effective! There is a compound effect at play here and over a month, or over a year for example, you are able to save huge time.

I was both a participant and a chair person in a lot of meetings. As you would expect, I’ve had many different experiences, both positive and negative:

• In some cases, the points discussed in the meeting were on a totally different topic than expected, based on agenda.
• In others, people started to attack each other by surprise, although no concerns were voiced prior to the meeting.
• Other times, a meeting that was expected to last half an hour ended-up lasting for half a day.
• Or how about those meeting that don’t actually accomplish anything?
• Fortunately, there are also effective meetings that help solve problems and push things forward.

Before going further, don’t think about meetings only as a formal gathering of a lot of people. This also means meeting just one colleague to agree the next steps on a project. It’s true that for the purpose of this post we refer mostly to situations in which several people meet. However, the principles apply to pretty much any type of meeting.

Let’s get into a few rules for effective meetings that can really make a difference when applied consistently.

Rule #1: Be Clear on the Objective of the Meeting

Lacking clarity on the objective of the meeting is the number one root cause of wasting time in meetings. Especially with several people in the room, discussions can go into all sorts of directions.

If you chair the meeting, establish and align the objective of the meeting at setting the agenda stage. If you are a participant and the objective is not clearly communicate to you, ask for the objective to be clarified upfront.

Rule #2: Do Your Homework Well

Preparation is a key requirement for effective meetings. Ask yourself how you can contribute in the best way to the meeting and do your homework in advance.

If you chair the meeting, actively ask everybody to have their homework done by the time of the meeting, so that the time is spent to add value, not to update those who came unprepared.

Rule #3: Ask Yourself if You Really Need to Be Part of A Meeting

There are so many meetings going on and we may be expected to attend lots of them. However, you don’t have to attend all the meetings you get invited to.

Ask yourself if you can add value to the meeting. Determine if your presence in the meeting allows you or the others do a better job than if you don’t participate directly. If the answer is no, than decline participation.

Rule #4: Recognize When a Meeting Is Needed

There are situations in which email and phone are the best communication tools to use, and there are also instances in which meetings are much more suitable.

For example, people start adding to never-ending email chains, when a meeting may be a much more constructive and effective approach.

If you find yourself stuck into a situation like this, take the initiative and get all the key stakeholders together. This is particularly effective in the case of very complex projects or when there are tensions that get in the way of effective collaboration.

6 Tips To Note When You Chair a Meeting

1. Have a clear agenda. The agenda should be based on the objective(s) of the meeting. This is your best friend in running the meeting. Why so? Because it is a great tool to guide the meeting and brings everybody back on the same page when discussions get off-track. Moreover, having a clear agenda that is distributed well in advance allows participants to prepare properly.
2. Keep discussions actionable. The Chair of the meeting is responsible to guide the discussions and keep them actionable. Even if a point is on the agenda, discussions should build towards aligning next steps, as opposed to just voicing comments, opinions and ideas related to the topic. Have all participants contribute and moderate discussions, to make sure no time is wasted with point-scoring, adversarial debates. Read: How to Give Constructive Criticism.
3. Set time limits. This works in the same way in which deadlines work for projects. If you don’t set them, a project and/or a discussion may carry-on indefinitely.  Setting time limits is very simple, yet very effective!
4. Take breaks when needed. People have a limited attention span. Sometimes, in an attempt to cover and do more, there is a tendency to skip breaks. This hardly does any good for making the meeting effective, though. Quite the opposite. However, breaks need to be managed well. The duration should be clearly communicated upfront. Breaks don’t necessarily need to be long. Whatever the duration you decide upon, make sure you regroup in time, as planned.
5. Watch the “any other business” section. Many meetings include on the agenda the so called “any other business”. This refers to topics that were not included on the agenda, but are relevant either to the objective of the meeting or to the group of participants. When not managed well, this section may lead to a lot of wasted time. Try to avoid this section completely. Or if you do decide to keep it, set a time limit for it.
6. End the meeting with clear next steps, timings and owners assigned for all the action points. This will avoid wasted time in the future, because of lack of clarity in terms of who should do what and when. The entire meeting should be designed to lead up to this, unless there is another specific deliverable that was set.

• 10 Rules of a Great Conversationalist
• 10 Tips to Improve Your Body Language

Here you are! There’s no need to over-complicate things. If you follow the tips above consistently, you will certainly enjoy more effective meetings.

What about you? What is your experience with meetings in the workplace? Have you developed your own lessons after taking part in both effective and ineffective meetings? Share your tips with us!

Image: co-laborate!

The post How To Conduct Effective Meetings at Work appeared first on Personal Excellence.

Dear Celes, I have been with my partner for ten years now. I know I have made lots of sacrifices to be with him and I don’t regret my decisions.

However, recently I’m worrying if I am giving up aspects of myself and shaping myself to be with him, without realizing it. I don’t want to lose sight of my dreams. How do you manage between your goals and being with your partner when in a relationship? ~ Anna

Hey Anna, most people’s approach to such a dilemma would be one of the following: (a) forgo their goals to be with their partner (which was what you did in the past), (b) pursue their goals at the expense of their relationship, or (c) find a mid-point where they can pursue some of their goals and still be with their partner at the same time.

Options (a) and (b) are unsustainable, because a win-lose or lose-win scenario will always result in lose-lose in the end.

For (a), if you forgo your goals to be with your partner, you will only find yourself deeply unhappy due to unfulfilled inner desires, which will result in unspoken pressure on the relationship. Even if you are completely okay about forsaking your goals, your turning back on your goals will prevent you from attaining self-actualization, which prevents you from giving your best to the relationship, hence shortchanging your partner of the best relationship experience he/she can get.

For (b), pursuing your goals at the expense of your relationship will prevent your relationship from thriving, since you won’t be dedicating your full time/energy to it. Even if the relationship remains afloat, it will only be a functional relationship (where two people stay together for companionship), rather than a synergistic relationship where both people blossom together. Your partner may also feel neglected and ask for a breakup, which was what happened to someone I knew—he lost his girlfriend after years of neglecting his relationship in the name of pursuing his goals.

While (c) might seem like a viable option, it is actually a sub-optimal one as well. While you might look like you are meeting both yours your relationship’s needs, you are really just straddling mid-way, where you do a little bit of both without getting the best of each area. You will soon find yourself stretched between two ends, feeling strained and possibly jaded.

How To Create the Best Relationship

The best relationships are about synergy, or 1+1=3 as my boyfriend Ken would put it. This means that both you and your partner progress more and faster in life as opposed to if either of you were single. Rather than achieve an effect of 1+1=2 (where both of you are simply the sums of the individual parts) or 1+1=1 or below (where you actually backtrack in your life from being in a relationship), you achieve 1+1=3 or even greater.

In such a synergistic relationship, there is absolutely no compromise of your personal goals, your partner’s goals, or the relationship itself—in fact, you and your partner achieve more by virtue of being together with each other.

Such synergistic relationships are uncommon because most people are not aware that such a standard is possible. To be honest, I never thought much about the dynamics of relationships until I got attached recently and felt the difference from being together with someone. I saw for myself how relationships can be synergistic and we, as the individual parts of the whole, actually play a crucial role to creating that synergy.

Example: Addressing Time Constraint for Personal and Relationship Activities

A simple constraint which I faced and broke through with Ken recently was the issue of time—we had limited time to spend with each other because of (a) his erratic work schedule, where he would have work meetings throughout the day till wee hours of the mornings, and (b) we live one-and-a-half hours away from each other which made it hard for us to meet up on weekdays especially given his schedule.

We wound up spending time on the phone every night in the first week we got together, which bled into a total of 25 hours of talk time (with the longest phone call being 8.5 hours!). If not for external appointments, we could literally talk for days on end, because we have so much to share with each other.

Even with the phone though, it wasn’t effective because we often had to block out time specially for the calls—being on the phone meant we couldn’t tend to other things, such as our personal activities, sleep, or even work. The phone isn’t a very encompassing medium too since it is audio-only and lacks the in-person touch.

Our solution? He invited me to move in with him, and it didn’t take long for me to take up that offer, especially since I was already planning to move out even before I got attached (I see moving out and living independently of my family as a natural progression of my personal growth). Moving in with him was clearly an option that bent all situational constraints—time, space, and contrasting daily agendas.

By staying together, we naturally spend time together every day by virtue of everyday, necessary activities such as having breakfast/lunch/dinner, exercising, and sleeping/resting; it’s also quality time spent together in person, as a couple, as opposed to phone chats which we see as a “downgraded” experience to being together in person. No more having to plan around each other’s schedule as well just to meet up, and no more long commutes whenever we meet. The perfect solution. ♥

Notice that we went straight  to the heart of the problem—time—and created a solution that broke that constraint. Rather than fiddle around with low-level solutions such as rationing the time we spend on our personal activities and on the phone, we worked out a solution which enabled us to meet both our personal agendas and our relationship needs—better than we ever could with our previous arrangement.

Example: Tackling Work Goals vs. Building the Relationship

I was originally worried that my relationship with Ken would cause me to neglect my work. Not that he is taking up my time (I do want to spend as much time with him as possible), but because I felt that by spending my time to connect with him, I would not be able to use that time to connect with others (all of you).

This concern was especially so after I noticed my to-do list items (for my work) kept getting pushed to the next day because I was spending so much time with him, on him (happily so as well).

While most people’s first instinct would be to cut back on couple time and reinvest the time back into work, it just didn’t feel right to me. I knew that the answer wasn’t to cut back on the time spent with him per se, because I do want to spend time with him. To cut back on time with him felt like I would be stifling my inner self.

Additionally, the solution of deliberately disconnecting myself from him just to connect myself with you guys felt counterintuitive… it felt like a solution rooted in fear and scarcity (i.e. I only have XX time and this time can only be spent with my partner or some other person). It felt wrong. It felt like a solution of force (a place of unconsciousness) vs. power (a place of consciousness). (Read: Map of Consciousness.)

At the same time, neglecting my work was clearly not the answer. Helping others to grow is my life purpose. It was my passion before I got attached; it will forever be my passion even now that I’m in a relationship. It’s a part of me that will never change no matter who I’m with or where I am in life.

So my questions to myself became: How can I break out of this dilemma? How can I meet my work needs and be there with Ken/grow the relationship at the same time?

It didn’t take much brainstorming before I found the following solutions where I would realize my personal work agenda and further my relationship at the same time: 

1. Include my partner in my work process rather than work in silo. Examples would be to update him on things I’m working on, sharing of my latest projects, and getting feedback. My main intent is to involve him in this intimate part of my life (my passion to help others grow), which would naturally bring us closer together (and grow the relationship in the process). Furthermore, hearing his input (when he has thoughts to share) lets me understand him better (which again, grows the relationship) and helps me consider perspectives which I may not considered before (hence helping me grow in my work).
2. Share my relationship experiences as part of my writing. This article is an example of how I’m leveraging on my relationship lessons to help others. This lets me tap into my natural flow which would help me to create great content in the least amount of effort… as opposed to writing topics which I’m currently not in the zone to write, which would result in uninspired content that takes up more mental energy than usual. Since my relationship lessons can be used to help others (my personal goal), this gives me an added incentive to invest myself into the relationship, which would then further grow the relationship. ♥
3. Have a concrete, daily work plan. Since I was single previously, I had all the time in the world for my personal activities, and hence never needed a concrete daily agenda. Creating a concrete, daily work plan would help me to be more focused and productive at work, of which the positive effects will spill over to my relationship. This daily planning would also ensure that I would have time set aside for my relationship every day.

Notice that all three steps above do not result in a compromise of either my personal agenda or my relationship; they result in a boost of both myself and my relationship.

How To Create Synergy: Using the “And” vs. “Either-Or” Approach

The two examples and the solutions I have shared above are specific to my situation/relationship. They may be completely irrelevant to you. And that’s perfectly fine.

The long and short of my sharing is that long-term resolution of conflicts between the self and the relationship can only be achieved by finding the “and” path that enables you to realize both your personal goals and your relationship goals simultaneously—might I say, even better than if you were to tackle each area by yourself.

Because if you were to always adopt an “either-or” approach, i.e. either pursue your goals or grow your relationship, you will face a win-lose scenario which will ultimately descend into a lose-lose situation as I had explained above. Even a partial win on each side through rationing time/resource for yourself and your relationship will also ultimately descend into a lose-lose because you will just be straddling between two ends and playing tug-of-war between your needs and your relationship needs.

It is through identifying that synergy path that will let you (and your partner) soar high up in the sky, achieving more than if each of you were to be by yourself/with someone else. This is the mark of a true, synergistic, and expansive relationship.

My additional tips to making such a relationship happen:

1. Always be in constant, open communication with your partner. Ken and I talk every day on things that are on our mind and things that may not be on our mind. Whenever we find any issues, we immediately bring them up with each other to get a conscious discussion and gain quick resolution (vs. leaving those issues hanging).
2. Constantly articulate your needs (if any) so that your partner is aware of them. People aren’t mind readers, and if you leave things unsaid, your partner may not be aware of them. This may create conflicts in the future.
3. Be in tune with your partner’s needs and ensuring that they are continuously being realized (with your help or otherwise). It’s not just your needs; your partner’s needs are equally important as well. This relationship is made up of two people and not just you. Work with your partner to make things happen for him, whether with or without your help.
4. Leverage on your strengths and use them to grow the relationship. Between Ken and me, both of us have unique skillsets which complement each other well; him with his listening skills, fast-comprehension ability, empathy, and supportive strength, and me with my personal-development knowledge. Both of us constantly use these skills to nurture our relationship to the next level. Likewise, think about what yours and your partner’s strengths are and use them to further your relationship.

I hope this helps Anna; let me know how things work out for you!

As for the rest of you—what do you think? How would you approach the issue of self vs. your relationship needs? Feel free to share in the comments area.

Image: eleaf

The post Ask Celes – How Do You Manage Between Your Goals and Being with Your Partner in a Relationship? appeared first on Personal Excellence.

After terrific reception for the first episode of Celes.TV (interview with learning & education expert Daniel Wong on How To Score a GPA of 3.98/4.00), I’m extremely excited to unveil the second episode today!  

Secrets of a Top Public Speaker (feat. Benjamin Loh, Public Speaking Coach and Five-Time Toastmasters Champion!)

What does it take to be a TOP public speaker? We often see amazing speakers like Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Anthony Robbins, and Les Brown in action, but rarely do we know what goes on behind the scenes in their rise to be the top in their craft.

This is why I have invited Benjamin Loh, public speaking coach and five-time toastmasters champion, to share his top public speaking tips in today’s episode of Celes.TV. Ben should be no stranger to you guys, as he has been guest posting on PE in the past three months in the public speaking and communications column:

• 9 Essential Tips to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking
• Your Ultimate Presentation Guide: 21 Ways to Deliver Interesting and Engaging Presentations
• Have a Presentation Coming Up? 5 Things To Note for Your Next Presentation

If you have read his posts, you would know that Ben is clearly an expert in his craft and knows what it takes to be a great speaker. Today, he runs Speaker’s Flare, a training and communications consultancy. He has a great body of experience under his belt, having trained over 1,000 clients in the past five years in the area of public speaking and communications!

I had a great time speaking with Ben in this episode. Check out the final 13-minute cut here:

(If you’re unable to see the video embed above, visit this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsxJMFiBQkw)

Key things covered:

• What got Ben into public speaking
• Why so many people are so fearful of public speaking—perhaps even more so than death itself!
• How to tackle fear of public speaking—especially those who get stage fright
• The trick to working your way to an audience size of 1,000s of people
• The role of daily conversations in building public speaking skills
• 2 biggest public speaking mistakes and how to tackle them
• Practical tips on how to be a GREAT public speaker
• How the master public speakers become the masters they are today
• Why your audience is your friend and NOT your enemy
• One simple tip to win over audience members for any presentation
• Humor – how important is it in public speaking?
• One unexpected way to be an effortlessly funny speaker

FREE Giveaway: A 1-Hour Public Speaking Coaching Session with Ben Loh! (Worth $200USD)

Following the success of the giveaway for the first Celes.TV episode (congratulations again to Jasmine and Ping Yen for winning a copy of “The Happy Student” book!), I’m now endeavoring to have a giveaway for every Celes.TV episode!

For this episode, Ben has very graciously and generously offered a give away of his one-hour one-to-one public speaking coaching session (valued $200 USD a session) to two lucky viewers! Through the session, Ben will provide a diagnosis of your speaking patterns and blind spots, structure a presentation plan for an upcoming speech/presentation you have and address any concerns/questions regarding public speaking.

It’s a giveaway not to be missed!

Watch the video till the end and follow the three steps to be entitled for this draw! The contest ends 23 May (one week as of the posting of this video); I may close the draw earlier if we get more than enough entries before then, so join in as soon as you can!

Want More Celes.TV Episodes? “Like” & Leave a Comment on YouTube Page!

If so, please support the channel using the three steps below!

1. Subscribe to my channel: http://youtube.com/celestinechua
2. Leave a comment for the video (on the Youtube page), be it on the interview itself, on feedback for Celes.TV as a whole, or suggestions on what you want to see for future episodes.
3. Press the “Like” button for the video on the Youtube page.

Thanks guys! Your support is much appreciated! Closing the comments at PE to streamline the discussion. Here’s the Youtube link to watch the video and/or post your comments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsxJMFiBQkw

The post How To Be a TOP Public Speaker (PLUS Win FREE 1-1 Coaching Worth $200!) appeared first on Personal Excellence.

Super-what you might be asking?

Superfoods? What on earth are those? Sounds like some scammy supplement you’re trying to sell me!

Actually, superfoods are food that are incredibly high in a couple compounds that have been shown to dramatically help you fight disease (like cancer), boost your immune system (bye bye colds!), and provide vitamins and minerals in much higher concentrations than normal.

But first, what are these foods actually giving you?

Well, as it turns out there are a couple of goodies typically in super foods:

• Antioxidants (help fight free radicals which are disease and cancer causing)
• Polyphenols
• Phytochemicals (help fight inflammation and cancer)
• Elevated levels of nutrients and vitamins

Superfoods will help you have more energy throughout the day, sleep better, and recovery from injury or illness quicker.

Again, these should all be part of a lifestyle that involves a proper diet,  a little bit of physical activity, and a schedule full of things that make you happy.  It’s the combination of many factors that promote optimal health, and not just adding a superfood or supplements to a poor diet.

The Top Ten

In regard to these superfoods, the cool thing about them is that you can generally eat as much as you want without worrying about adverse health effects.

The one exception to that rule would be red wine. Please don’t become an alcoholic and say to your friends “But it’s a superfood!!!” A glass or two a night with dinner is fine.

1.  Berries (Blueberry, Strawberry, Raspberry, Blackberry)

Berries (in this example, blueberries), contain a whole host of micro-nutrients, vitamins and pigments that are currently under research for their role in reducing inflammation and the risk of cancer.

Some studies in rats showed that blueberry has helped with reducing brain damage after stroke, regulates blood pressure, and helps lower cholesterol and blood lipid levels.

When the season rolls around, make sure to stock your fridge with as many as you can get!

2. Hot Peppers (Chili Peppers)

Hot peppers are great sources of Vitamin C, beta carotene, folic acid, magnesium, and many other minerals.

A study published in the British Journal of Medicine found that regular chili consumption helps fight the progression of heart disease.

Capsaicin – the compound responsible for the incredible spice in Chilis – has been studied extensively for it’s anti-cancer properties, and in particular, prostate cancer.

So how do you pack the maximum punch for the minimum investment? The hotter the pepper, the more capsaicin there is in it. 

What about stomach ulcers from eating hot chilis? Actually, it’s a common myth that eating extremely hot peppers will burn a hole in your stomach. The opposite is in fact true – the intense heat stimulates the release of mucus and alkaline enzymes in the stomach to protect it. Win!

Don’t forget to eat your spicy food, folks.

3. Red Wine

Most of the research done on red wine is in regard to a compound called Resveratrol which falls into that polyphenol/antioxidant category.

Resveratrol has been intensively studied and publicized in the news for a couple key benefits:

• It helps prevent damage to blood vessels and reduces bad cholesterol
• Protection from obesity and diabetes
• Reduced inflammation and blood clotting (risk factors for heart disease)

Red wine contains more resveratrol than white, and even some other berries (like blueberries that I mentioned) contained the compound too.

4. Salmon

Salmon is a fantastic (although sometimes expensive) food and protein source.

Why?

Salmon is high in protein, omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin D, and many other vitamins.

Eating more fatty fish is a good addition to your diet because omega 3 fatty acids are notoriously absent from our modern diet. Also, many modern people are deficient in Vitamin D because we spend most of our time indoors. Salmon is a fantastic and delicious way to get these two crucial nutrients.

Higher omega 3 intake is linked to lower arthritis incidence, blood pressure, and inflammation.

There are some important things to remember though:

Wild caught salmon is better than farmed salmon. Farmed salmon contains high levels of a chemical called PCB which is 8-10x higher in farmed salmon than wild salmon.

Most of the salmon that comes from the Atlantic waters is farmed – while most of the salmon that comes from the pacific waters is still wild (80%+), so go with Pacific salmon if you can.

5. Dark Leafy Greens – Kale and Swiss Chard

 Kale, swiss chard and other dark leafy vegetables are very high in beta carotene, vitamin C, calcium and other minerals.

Kale (and Broccoli) also contains a compound known as sulphorafane, which has potent anti-cancer properties.

Guess your mother was right – better eat your broccoli!

What’s interesting is that boiling results in a significant loss of many of the vitamins (including that anti-cancer chemical). So if you plan to cook your veggies, sautee them or steam them.

6. Green Tea

Green tea really became famous in the west during the whole green tea weight loss movement.

In one particular study, just drinking green tea boosted the metabolic rate of people by 4% and helped stimulate fat oxidation. Although that’s one “use” of green tea, it actually is packed with certain vitamins and minerals that are great for you, too.

For example, in a couple studies green tea has been shown to lower the risk of heart disease and certain types of cancer. This is because green tea is unusually high in flavonoids  - and compared to other foods or drinks, including wine, fruits & vegetables, it is comparatively much higher in protective compounds.

7.  Pomegranate

Pomegranates were originally one of the ancient medicines of the world, much like green tea.  

Recently, with the explosion of the “POM” juice line in the USA it has become pretty popular, and has a whole host of health benefits to back it up.

Although there isn’t tons of conclusive evidence on pomegranates, some studies have shown some pretty amazing benefits by eating them:

• Reduction of heart disease risk factors
• Lowering of blood pressure
• Inhibition of viral infections
• Antibacterial properties
• Improvement of mood, well-being and testosterone levels 

8. Sweet Potato

One of the secrets of the Japanese that live particularly long is that they frequently consume sweet potato as one of their main carbohydrate sources.

So why sweet potato? Why not regular potatoes?

When you stack sweet potatoes against other vegetables and fruits, it blows them out of the water, particularly with two minerals: beta carotene and vitamin A.

In fact, a regular potato has about thirteen units of vitamin A, while a sweet potato has 14,000.

A regular potato has eight units of beta carotene, while a sweet potato has 8,000. 

What’s interesting is that in 1992 a study was done to compare the nutritional value of sweet potatoes compared to other vegetables. Measuring for a number of different factors, guess who won? Sweet potatoes! By far.

9. Nuts

Not only are nuts a fantastic snack (they are high in protein and good fats, like we talked about in the six pack series here and here) they are loaded with nutrients.

Several studies have shown that people who eat nuts regularly are much less likely to suffer from heart disease.

Nuts are also low GI — so for people who are trying to lose weight they are a “safe” snack.

Not only are they loaded with antioxidants, but they are high in protein, E & B vitamins, and half a dozen other minerals.

The best part? They’re an easy food to pack with you and bring around so you don’t go eating a bad food due to lack of planning.

One other thing: make sure to eat them in their raw, unroasted, unprocessed form. Like any food, processing or cooking generally reduces the amount of nutrients.

10. Bell Peppers

I did an experiment several months ago, called “Why Your Orange Juice is Slowly Killing You” where I “busted” the vitamin C myth.

Most people think that orange juice is the best (or only) source of vitamin C, which is simply a myth, and in reality excess fruit juice consumption is probably leading you to gain weight.

What I did in the experiment was compared the vitamin C intake in a glass of orange juice (or even an orange) to that of several vegetables:

In my experiment, red bell peppers actually came out highest (compared to any other vegetable I could find) in terms of vitamin C.

One cup of bell peppers had about 2-3x the vitamin C of a glass of orange juice or an orange!

Sometimes veggies are a much better source of nutrients than fruits just because you’re getting vitamins without the added sugar.

In peppers, the main antioxidant here is lycopene (the same nutrient in tomatoes).  And interestingly enough, red peppers have nine times (9x) the lycopene that green peppers do.

So if you decide to cook peppers, eat the red ones!

Q: Can I just take supplements of these nutrients?

Many people think that supplementation has the same effects on the body that eating food does.

Not so!

For example, sometimes supplements are given in way higher doses than is naturally occurring in the food, with the thinking being that “more is better.”

Well, more isn’t better.  Studies have even found that excessive antioxidant supplementation has had adverse health effects. 

And remember that antioxidant in red wine, resveratrol? In the United States this has been incredibly hyped over the past decade, but when the actual supplement of resveratrol was taken, it has been shown to have a very low bioavailability (how much of that actually gets into your body and blood stream).

So, just eat your super foods .

One last thing…

Supplementation or eating superfoods is not an excuse to continue eating a bad diet. If you spend 90% of your time eating junk, and then supplement with a few super foods, your body and health is going to be like what you eat 90% of the time – junk!

Are there any supplements or power foods you think I missed, or would like to see added to the list? Are there any things you aren’t sure about? Just leave a comment below!

Images: Blueberries, Chili peppers, Red wine, Salmon, Kale, Green tea, Pomegranate, Sweet Potato, Raw nuts,  Bell Pepper

The post The Superfood Guide: 10 Superfoods To Live a Slimmer, Longer And Better Life appeared first on Personal Excellence.

Be it for that big project deadline, impending examination, exercising or even… the dreaded taxes. We try to keep it off our mental enclaves for as long as we can until it dawns upon us that time suddenly becomes a precious commodity. At the eleventh hour, our productivity seems to peak dramatically as it is now negatively correlated with the time that’s left from the deadline.

Alas, this coping strategy works! Well, at least we delivered.

Sounds familiar? At least, I knew it did for me.

Now, if you adopt the same modus operandi for your upcoming major presentation, chances are that you will not be able to “wing it” and you may just fall flat on your face with a lackluster delivery.

Here are three key reasons why that will be the case:

1. You won’t have enough relevant content –you need to invest time to research about the content and find out about more data about your audience.
2. You won’t have enough deliberate practice – delivering a presentation is quite different from that of delivering an analysis report. The former needs you to practice deliberately and consciously. Doing so at the wee hours just before your presentation in the morning may prove to be sub-optimal.
3. You won’t have enough moments of “speaking epiphanies” – presenting is like writing in that it is a creative process. You often end up with a good piece of writing from multiple sittings. In the same way, you are likely to be hit with ‘ah-hah’ moments on how you can better your presentation during your downtime and find more creative ways to deliver the same point so your delivery can be enhanced.

#1. Begin with the End in Mind

The late Stephen R Covey published his world bestseller on personal success titled, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Habit #2 is to “Begin with the End in Mind”.

In the context of goal setting, it is a two-step process of first envisioning (mental) and creating your desired “end” or goal or vision. Next with that powerful mental blueprint etched, you then act (physical) on it in a way such that your intentions manifest in your day-to-day actions. This way, you do not get lost in the hustle and bustle of your daily lives but you are still consciously building yourself towards a more significant future.

Now when it comes to your presentations, it isn’t that much different. You want to envision how you make your entrance, what you will say to grab your audience’s attention in the first 30 seconds, how you will segue into your main content, when will your audience’s attention wane and how are you going to get them back on track, how are you going to end with a solid call to action etc.

It is like mentally rehearsing your future on stage. Of course with a future, you will want it to be one that’s brimming full of hope and positivity, yes?

So it helps to think about what “ends” you like to achieve through your presentations. At Toastmasters International (TI), we are educated on the different objectives for public presentations. The main objectives of the presentations alongside their common examples of them are,

• To Inform – simple and no-fuss transmission of information from source to recipients. Examples include briefings, public announcements, walkthrough of protocols and Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) explanations.
• To Persuade – delivered with intention to change or influence opinions, beliefs and behaviors about a certain subject matter for your audience. Examples include strategic management initiatives, investment pitches, petitions and campaigns.
• To Inspire – a deeper appeal to one’s emotions, values and feelings often with an element of uplift. Examples include motivational and inspirational talks, keynote speeches and charity and donors talks.
• To Entertain – lighthearted, casual, fun and often to make people laugh or muse on mundane matters or even, the “heavier” issues in life from a light perspective. Examples include stand-up comedies, wedding toasts and spoken poetry.

That said, your presentations can have one or more objectives. In which case, you will want to prioritize which are your key driving objectives and how the supporting ones can help you achieve your end point more effectively.

#2. Know Your Audience

To the guys out there, do you still remember the first time you planned a date for the girl you were wooing? Or if you haven’t had your first, think of someone you really like at this point of time. How do you go about deciding how exactly you want your date to turn out?

You’d ask yourself – what kind of girl is she? What does she like to do? What kind of activities will be better suited for her? Is she a more outdoor or indoor type of person? How will she like to be engaged? What kind of conversations will be meaningful? How can I get to know her better?

To the ladies out there, just think of your best date and how everything was so right. Or I hope it was.

The strange thing is that some of my clients will deliver the same presentation with the exact same content, asking the same questions, doing the same activities, evoking the same thoughts, deploying the same delivery techniques from the same angle with the same intention? Don’t you think the sameness in approach is grossly alarming?

Yes, the underlying mechanics of engagement may be the same but the form by which you engage your audience will be vastly different because every group of audience you speak to has shades of differences you need to appreciate and make sense of. The question then is how?

I often analogize delivering presentations to your audience as having a massive dating relationship with your audience. You need to do your homework to know them well before your point of engagement, that is, your presentation.

In the context of presentations, it will be useful to find out important information about your audience using a simple ’4-P Framework to Understanding Your Audience’. These questions are meant to guide you on the extent and scope of due diligence before your presentation but they are not meant to be exhaustive.

First P: People

1. Who are they?
2. What are their occupations and associated impressions?
3. What are their levels of their seniority (if in a corporate context)?
4. What are their cultural habits or nuances? (High or low power distance, level of individualism? Read more on Geert Hofstede’s cultural dimensions)

Second P: Purpose

1. What brings them to your presentation? (Volitional or mandatory)
2. What are they most concerned with regarding your subject matter of presentation?
3. What are their objectives at work or life in general? (Depending on subject matter of presentation)
4. What are some of their deepest desires at work or life?

Third P: Pain

1. What problems are they struggling with that can be resolved with insights from your presentation?
2. What causes them to have the problems they are facing now?
3. What are the potential consequences should their problems stay unresolved?

Forth P: Positioning

1. Who do you have to be as a speaker such that your audience has a listening for you?
2. How will they like to be engaged as an audience?
3. What do I want them to say about me when they leave the room after listening to my presentation?

Asking the right questions gives you the necessary data to then reverse-engineer the best presentation you can deliver. And when you speak to a different audience, you know there is scope for creation and re-creation.

#3. Structure

A structure for a presentation is like a wireframe. It gives shape and allows for a logical flow of information. It guides a presenter to proceed in a coherent and methodical manner so there is room for flow and spontaneity on the actual day of presentation

It’s quite a paradoxical thought at first but once you appreciate it, you will know why there can only be flow with structure.

There are two simple but useful structures that can be used interchangeably or in parts to make a more meaningful whole.

AIDA

• Attention – an opening that interests and engages your audience in the first 30 seconds
• Interest – reel them into your presentation and let them know why you are the right person to speak on the subject matter. Also, establish the value for listening – What’s In It for Me? (WIIFM)
• Desire – evoke a deeper desire within them that addresses their pain and/or pleasure
• Action – invite your audience to take action now to close their gap between desire and reality

Universal Speech Outline

• Opening – Tell them what you are going to tell them
• Body – Tell them
  • Point 1
  • Point 2
  • Point 3
• Close – Tell them what you have told them
• Call to Action (my suggestion) – Now that I’ve told you what I needed to tell, this is what’s next for you

I generally don’t fuss much about structures except that you want to take additional note about how you open and close your presentation. The former is critical because that’s when your audience is most skeptical and judgmental and you need to convince them what you are going to say is of importance to them and that you know your stuff.

Closing strong is also extremely important because it serves to round up and summarise what you have spoken on. You want to leave them on a high note and get them to act positively in a way such that their lives are changed for the better rather than go away thinking,

“Oh, that was a great talk. I was entertained and learnt a thing or two, but now what?”

#4. Delivery Methods

Have you ever sat through a three hours accounting lecture and struggled to stay awake because your lecturer was reading off the slides the whole time? I have. And trust me, it was painful.

The reason why I was disengaged was not just because the content was dry. Well, it could be that I was also lazy. Ok, I admit I probably was.

But there is a simpler reason – we just aren’t wired to have such long attention spans! Dr. John Medina, a molecular biologist and researcher conducted extensive research in the area of brain sciences.

He suggests that our attention levels take a nosedive after around 10 minutes into a presentation and if a presenter takes no effort to modify the mode and rate of delivery, attention level continues to stay at all times low and this not helps in information retention either.

Imagine filling up a bathtub with water but there are multiple holes at its bottom and water is leaking out even faster than you are filling it. That’s how most presentations are – the lack of effort from the presenter to engage is not helping to plug into the gaps but is puncturing more in the process!

To avoid this phenomenon of perpetual and increasing disengagement in your presentations, take the effort to plan a good mix of delivery methods so you “reset” their attention and keep them at the edges of their seats.

For ideas and inspiration on how to constantly keep your audience interested and engaged, read my previous guest post on ‘Your Ultimate Presentation Guide: 21 Ways to Deliver Interesting and Engaging Presentations’.

#5. Deliberate Practice

To adequately prepare for your presentation, you need to practice, period. And you have to practice in a deliberate manner. Sitting at your desk and reading off a prepared script is not deliberate practice.

How I advise my clients to practice their presentations is to do so while standing up and speak as if you are presenting to an actual crowd. If there is a juncture in the presentation you need to lean forward to the crowd, lean exactly as how you will. If you will need to ask rhetorical questions, practice pausing after the questions and be comfortable with the silence. If there are moments in your story where you need to gesticulate wildly, do so even though it may be silly with no one watching you.

The magic of deliberate practice is in doing precisely what’s required to keep yourself in an envisioned peak performance and constantly creating those moments when no one’s watching you. So when your audience is finally watching you on stage, your presentation comes off as natural, impeccable and effortless.

Great presentations happen not merely as a function of your natural smarts as an orator on stage but that of your hours and hours of dedicated and deliberate preparation so you give your best for your audience.

Because that’s what they truly deserve… isn’t it?

On the importance of practice:

• 10,000 Hours To Develop Talent
• Skills Development
• Leveling Up

From Celes: How have you found this presentation preparation guide? How can you apply the tips here for your next presentation? Feel free to share in the comments section!

Images: Laptop, Quora on Brain Rules

The post Have a Presentation Coming Up? 5 Things To Note for Your Next Presentation appeared first on Personal Excellence.

Hi Celes! I enjoy reading your blog! Considering you are so successful in your career (personal development), are you seeing anyone romantic? ~ Jennifer

Hi guys, just an update to my response to the very same question I’ve answered last year (and which I’ve also requested you guys to stop asking during my 2012 year-end review ^_^”’ ).

Yes, I’m attached now. ♥ I’ve officially been seeing someone as of 5 May, 2013. And I’m incredibly happy now.

Since I’ve never been in a long-term, romantic relationship (largely by choice) and knowing how I’m like through my blog writings, you probably have an idea of how incredibly thorough I was before I decided to proceed with this one. (My boyfriend and I joke about how he had to go through repeated rounds of interrogation (by me) before we managed to get together, lol .) We are both very serious about each other and it’s quickly accelerating into a very serious relationship. This is the most intense connection I’ve ever had with anyone.

I just wanted to share this news on the blog as all of you are an important part of my life and I want to let you in on this important part of my life. I’ve already shared the news on my Facebook Page and many of you have been showering me with well wishes. (Many of your messages actually come across as congratulatory wedding wishes, LOL!)

I don’t know what else to say actually, so I’ll just leave the post as is since it’s just meant as to be an update. If you guys want to ask me any questions (including about the guy I’m with, though I’ll be protecting his privacy of course), feel free to post them in the comments section. I’ll be happy to address them.

Image: eleaf

This is part of the Ask Celes section. If you have a question to ask me, proceed to the Ask Celes page. Check out past Ask Celes questions here.

The post Ask Celes – Are You Seeing Anyone at the Moment? (Yes, I Am Now :) ) appeared first on Personal Excellence.

• Part 1: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 1: My Deep Hatred for My Body
• Part 2: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 2: Unraveling My Weight Issues
• Part 3: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 3: Overcoming My Hatred for My Body
• Part 4: Body Image: Your Gentle Guide to Loving Your Body

In writing this series, many of you have shared your personal insecurities with your body. Some of you struggle with your body weight like I did. Some of you struggle with your skin. Some of you struggle with your facial features, such as not having a sharp enough nose, not having big enough eyes, and so on. Some of you struggle with your specific body parts (e.g., your thighs, waist, belly) and wish they look different.

For sure, poor body image is a rampant problem in today’s society. Many of us scrutinize our bodies in the mirror all-too-often, berate our bodies for not looking a certain way, measure them against bodies of certain idols/celebrities, then wonder why our bodies can’t look just like those idols/celebrities. I used to be like that, and it was one of the most exhausting periods of my life.

Today, I love and embrace my body. I love what I see in the mirror. I appreciate what my body has done for me and will continue to do. I celebrate my natural facial/body features and my present height/weight. And I can’t be happier with this relationship I have with my body.

How To Start Loving Your Body: A Gentle Guide

Considering that our body is the only place we have to live in, it’s pertinent that we build a positive relationship with it. 

Today’s article shares an extensive guide to love your body. These are the steps I have taken in moving from someone who didn’t love her body at all, to someone who fully embraces what her body is today and continually improves it to be better.

My wish is that those of you with poor body images will find this guide helpful. Sure, you may hate your body today. Sure, you may have body parts which do not match your ideal body vision. Sure, you may wish that you have an entirely different body altogether. Regardless, it is possible to develop an unconditional, unadulterated love for your body—just as I have. This guide will show you how.

1. Identify the things you do like about your body and start loving them.

Someone with self-body-hate has a tendency to zoom down right to the hateful parts of his/her body whenever he/she sees the mirror. Even if there isn’t anything to hate about a particular body part, he/she can look at that body part and spot imperfections, because the default lens he/she sees his/her body is that he/she has a hateable body and there is no redeeming factor about it. I can relate because this was the lens I used to wear.

If this is the case for you too, I want you to try something different. The next time you look at your body, look for things that you do like instead. Maybe you have lips that are nice and pouty. Maybe you have killer curves. Maybe you have beautiful eyes. Maybe you have a great smile. Maybe you have nice cheeks. Maybe you have lovely dimples. Maybe you have nice teeth.

Whatever these things are, notice them. Then, celebrate them. Give them credit for being what they are.

Then, make this part of your daily routine whenever you look into the mirror or see images of yourself.

This appreciation process was what I did in my early phase of overcoming my negative body image. My natural tendency then was to notice my body “fats” and put them down repeatedly. This would include my tummy, my “thick” thighs, my double chin, my baby fats, and my round hips. Hence, imagine how tough it was when I gave myself the challenge to look into the mirror and spot things that I liked instead.

While my mind drew a blank for the first few seconds, something soon got my attention—my complexion.

I have a natural, fair complexion which many people often compliment. My mom told me that when I was born, my relatives saw me in the hospital and immediately referred to me as “Snow White” because of how fair my skin was. On the other hand, there are tons of girls in the society who have to turn to whitening products and treatments just to achieve fair skin like mine, or perhaps never even achieving a level of fairness like mine. I realized how lucky I am to have the fair skin as I do today.

Next, I noticed my lips. I suddenly noticed the beauty of my lips in a way I had never noticed before. People have often praised me on my lips before; they would say I have a nice shape to my lips; some (guys and girls alike) have said that they look very kissable.

Then, I saw my eyes. Oh yes, my eyes, I thought. How could I have forgotten about them? I have always loved my eyes due to their roundness; I always thought they help when giving cutesy doe-eyed looks. I have also always loved the high density of my eyelashes; people have often asked me if I have mascara on even when I don’t have any, because my eyelashes are so dense.

And the list went on.

With each feature I noticed, something new would catch my attention. Suddenly, I realized there are so many things worth liking about my body—perhaps even more than the number of things I was hating about it. I just had not noticed the former because I had been so busy hating on my body all this while. I felt sad, as it meant that I had been denying my body of the appreciation and love that it deserved.

What did I do then? I began to celebrate the things that I liked about my body. Every time I looked into the mirror, I would dedicate time to appreciating my face and body. It came to a point where the celebration of my looks is now part of my daily routine—not out of narcissism, but out of self-appreciation.

Check out as well: Day 16: Appreciate Yourself of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program

2. Recognize your body is not at fault.

As I had shared in part three, I used to let out my body woes onto my body. D*mn you body! I would think, Why do you look so ugly? Why do you look so fat? Why do you have so much excess flab? I would berate it endlessly, as if it was the bearer of my appearance problems.

However, I later realized that my body is simply a neutral entity with no emotions. So what if I hate it? So what if I keep scolding it? It’s not going to look any different (as a result of my hating and scolding). If anything, looking back, I actually felt that my body probably looked more haggard than it should because I was harboring so much negative energy against it.

I eventually realized that the only way to address my body issues was (a) to take responsibility for my body woes and (b) to work through them. This meant addressing my self-hate issues. This meant fixing my eating problems and increasing my activity level so that I would achieve a slimmer physique. These are steps which I have shared in part three of the series.

While it’s natural to finger point at your body and blame it for all your body woes because it is the one carrying the objects of disdain (such as your fat thighs, chubby cheeks, flabby shoulders, and so on), it’s futile to do so. That’s because your body is neutral. It has no soul. It has no mind of its own. It was created to support your existence and to let you live on earth.

Take responsibility for your body issues and work through them instead of sitting around and hating on your body all day long. This is where the next point comes in.

3. Get to the root of your self-body-hate issues.

Your self-body-hate arose as a symptom of a separate issue. To eradicate your self-body-hate permanently, get to its root cause.

Here are three questions to get started:

1. What do you dislike about your body?
2. Why do you hate/dislike your body / body part?
3. (For whatever answers that come up from Q2…) Why?

For example,

1. What do you dislike about your body? — I dislike my small eyes, my large thighs, and my big belly.
2. Why do you hate/dislike your body / body part? — Because they are so ugly.
3. (For whatever answers that come up from Q2…) Why? — Because they don’t give me the attention I deserve.
• What do you mean? — Because guys would pay attention to the girls with big eyes, small thighs, and a flat tummy.
• Why does this bother you? — Because I want guys to pay attention to me too.
• Why? — Because guys have rarely paid attention to me since I was young.
• But is this the fault of your body though? — No it isn’t. My self-body-hate is merely an expression of my frustration of my lack of appeal to the opposite gender.
• What can you do about this? Firstly, I can work on being more confident. It is said that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can ever have. Secondly, I should embrace the natural beauty of my looks. Small eyes are beautiful in their own way too. (See Point #3 above.) Thirdly, if I have an issue with my body weight, I should work on losing weight, rather than hating my body on it. My body is an innocent party that has nothing to do with my self-body-issues.

Notice how the answers started off as surface-level responses (ugly features). Then, they quickly moved down to a deeper-level issue (not being appealing to the opposite gender) through strategic probing. This is then followed by a wrapping of the issue with proper next steps.

For whatever you may seem to dislike/hate about your body, chances are this emotion stems from a deeper-level issue, with body hate being a symptom of the problem. You need to uncover this deeper-level issue by repeatedly challenging the surface-level answers you receive from this exercise.

For me, my self-body-hate was driven by three factors: (a) my fixation with one notion of beauty, in part due to media conditioning and my childhood stories, (b) my lack of respect for my body, (c) my hatred for myself.

I overcame Factor A by expanding my notion of beauty (see Point #3 above). I then overcame Factors B and C through Points #1, #2, #3, #5, and #6 of part three. It was through resolving these three root factors that I finally overcame my self-body-hate permanently. The same will apply for you too.

Read more about addressing root causes vs. effects: How To Create Real Change In Life: Address Root Cause vs. Effects.

4. Work towards your ideal vision of your body, not anyone else’s ideal vision.

One of people’s key motivators to lose weight/change their appearance/look better is to appeal to the opposite gender (or the same gender for the homosexuals).

Yet, I want you to always remember to work towards your ideal vision of your body. Meaning—what do you see as the best version of your body? What do you see as your ideal weight (factoring in the healthy height and weight guidelines)? What do you see as your ideal fitness level? Work towards these visions, not other’s visions.

For example, many girls (including me in the past) strive to be stick skinny because it’s supposedly an archetype of beauty.

However, a stick skinny body is merely a vision projected by the media. Yes, perhaps some guys do like stick-skinny girls. (From my experience though, the ones who do are usually pretty thin or scrawny guys to begin with, and hence have an interest in girls with smaller physiques so they can feel more able-bodied. Most normal-sized guys actually prefer girls with some curves and meat.) But if your ideal vision of your body is to have a wholesome body with nice curves, then get that body and rock it! There will always be different guys with different tastes, and whoever likes your body will be drawn to you, and whoever doesn’t like it, won’t.

The most important thing to note is that this is your body, your life. Don’t mold your body just to match others’ visions. Work towards a body that you love, first and foremost. You are the key target audience of your body; everyone else is secondary. Look good for yourself first, then worry about what others think (or better still, don’t worry at all).

5. Embrace the individual beauty of your body. (Unchain yourself from media’s conditioning.)

Size zero. Big eyes. Sharp nose. Sharp chin. Big, pouty lips. Flawless complexion. Long, thin legs. Small waist. Big boobs.

The above is a standard list of criteria for what is perceived to be beauty for a female. 

All our lives, we have been fed a certain image of beauty by others. All our lives, we have thought beauty to mean having set features, a set look, and a set height/weight.

However, what if that isn’t true? What if beauty has always been in us all along, just that we are not privy to it due to our conditioning?

Our perception of beauty has been narrowly defined by the media all our lives. 

For a while I bought into this image as well. I thought beauty was a class reserved only for people who met that stringent list of criteria.

It was only when I was traveling across Europe and U.S. that I had this image demystified. I met people of all shapes, sizes, features, and colors—many of whom did not conform to the image of beauty I was brought up with. It made me realize that beauty is more than just about being a certain size and looking a certain way. It made me realize that—hey—beauty doesn’t just in one form, one shape, one color, and one size. Beauty exists everywhere—in all forms, all shapes, all colors, and all sizes. 

Meaning: there is no one look that is more or less beautiful than another; all looks are beautiful in themselves. This includes your look: whatever features and body type you have. It’s a look that is beautiful and unique to you, in your own special way.

The unfortunate thing is that most people are so fixated on that one notion of beauty that they fail to recognize how beautiful they truly are. And this is such a waste.

Here’s something I want you to do from now on: Rather than stack your body up against a certain mental image, see your body as is. See every single feature of your face/body as it is, without expectations of what it should be or shouldn’t be. Look. Observe. And feel.

Who knows, you may start seeing something you have never seen before. A realization of how beautiful you actually are. A new-found appreciation for your beauty. 

Read more: The Beauty of Self – How I Used To Feel Inferior about My Looks and Why I No Longer Feel That Way Today

6. Be Grateful for Your Body

Are you grateful for the body you have today? Or do you take it for granted?

I find it sad that there are fully able-bodied people berate their bodies endlessly, while you have people who are disabled who utilize their bodies in ways better than those fully able-bodied people ever will.

Take for example, Nick Vujicic. Born with no hands and no legs due to tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder, he struggled mentally, emotionally, and physically as a child due to this condition. He eventually came to terms with his disability and started his own non-profit organization, Life Without Limbs, at the age of seventeen.

(If you can’t view the video above, visit this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLDBgRAvmew.)

Today, Nick is married (as of 2012), has a son (as of 2013), and speaks all over the world, inspiring people with his personal story of disability, personal struggle, and success.

Then, you have Matt Scott—an American basketball player. He has spina bifida – a disorder that existed before birth and caused him to be wheelchair bound. Despite that, it has not stopped him from playing basketball and winning national championships. (Check out commercial #4 of 15 Inspiring Commercials to Inspire the Greatness in You for more on Matt Scott.)

Think about Nick and Matt, then think about how you can better appreciate your body today. Despite being disabled, they have embraced their bodies and accomplished so much in their lives. It’s a sign to us to be grateful for the bodies we have today and put them to better use.

7. Be the best owner of your body.

Last but not least, be the best owner of your body.

You may be given this body at birth. However, have you justified your place as your body’s rightful owner? Have you cared and treated your body in a way that’s in its highest good of all?

Chances are you haven’t. So many of us abuse our bodies. We smoke, drink, eat junk food, laze around (or exercise ferociously for some), hurt ourselves, deprive ourselves of sleep, etc.—without considering the damage we are doing with each of those actions.

Myself, I used to abuse my body with binge eating, ferocious exercising thereafter, and minimal rest due to my constant self-pressurization. In retrospect, I was such an unworthy owner of my body. I was blessed with this body, and yet I failed to take good care of it.

The good thing is that my previous episode of body abuse and self-body-hate made me truly treasure my body. Today, I longer abuse my body. I rest when I need to. I consume the best food for my body. I regulate my eating. I engage in a healthy level of physical activity to keep my body fit. I don’t drink except at specific social outings, and even then that only happens once every few months.

I’m proud to say that I now manage my body in a way that’s to its highest good, and I can’t think of anyone who can be a better owner of my body than me myself.

Here are some questions to get you going in being the best owner of your body:

1. What is your ideal, healthiest diet for your body?
2. What is your ideal level of physical activity that will keep your body at prime condition?
3. What lifestyle habits/changes will make the biggest difference in your life?
4. Do you have any bad habits which are jeopardizing your body and which you should cut right away? What are they?
5. For your answers to Q1–4, how can you start realizing them today?

Wrapping Up

Looking back, this series has been a long time coming. I remember wanting to write this series since several years ago, but not being able to pen it as I had yet to overcome my body-image issue then. I’m glad that I have finally resolved the issue to write this series today.

I have shared my story with my body image issues and how I have overcome them. I have shared the specific steps on how you can address your body image issues with today’s guide. It’s now up to you to apply the steps to regain a positive relationship with your body.

Body image is a topic close to my heart, along with topics like anger, emotional eating, and singlehood. For future articles, I hope to delve deeper into as-of-yet uncovered topics of femininity and sexuality, which are things which I feel are highly relevant in the realm of self-development.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this series. Let me know how you have found it and what you would like to see for upcoming articles. (Thanks to all of you who have commented in the earlier parts of the series—I really appreciate everything that you have to share!)

This is the last part of a four-part series on body image—how I hated my body for a long time, learned to love my body eventually, and how you can achieve a positive body image as well.

• Part 1: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 1: My Deep Hatred for My Body
• Part 2: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 2: Unraveling My Weight Issues
• Part 3: How I Began to Love My Body, Part 3: Overcoming My Hatred for My Body
• Part 4: Body Image: Your Gentle Guide to Loving Your Body

Image: Female bodies

The post Developing a Positive Body Image: Your Gentle Guide to Loving Your Body appeared first on Personal Excellence.