Personal Growth Guides

Positive Attitude in the Workplace – Reduce Stress and Increase Job Satisfaction

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:30:00 +0000

Here are some tips that I have learned from my two years experience as a project manager. Consider these tips to help you reduce the amount of stress you experience in the workplace and increase job satisfaction.

1. Never assume that your boss only hired you because of your educational attainment. Your boss hired you because of your talents and skills. Remember that it is his/her business that you are working for. It's not a charity foundation so you must show your boss what you've got. Excel in what you are doing. Don't be contented with the knowledge and skills that you already have. Don't just rely on on-the-job training that you’ve went through. Consider taking skill-enhancing courses on your own.

2. Keep your emotions intact. If you think that you don't deserve what you are getting from the company you are working for, don’t let your emotion step in the way. You maybe sacrificing too much of your time and energy at work but have you even asked yourself if it’s enough? You may think that your boss expects too much from you but have you ever thought of what your boss is doing is basically for your own good? Let’s put it this way, you are working too hard but your boss is not satisfied, now, how would you react in this kind of situation? You may feel bad about this but the truth is, "There's no room for emotions in business," “Your boss doesn't care much about what you feel.” If you want a career growth, you must understand that going out of your comfort zone is the key. Soon you will realize that everything that you are going through at the moment is just a mere challenge and all of this will you become a better person.

3. Be proactive. Go beyond your boss' expectations. Take the initiative to do what needs to be done, without being asked.

4. Respect your co-workers' time. When we were young, we are thought of “asking questions is a sign of intelligence,” this is true but it depends on what questions to ask. Refrain from asking stupid questions; instead use your common sense. Remember, “Every job requires workers to understand instructions quickly.”

5. Work “Smart” not “Hard.” Avoid taking excessive hours of work as much as possible. If you want to be productive at work every day, make it a habit to complete your tasks for the day within 8 hours. Leaving office on time can make you more productive the next day (to get more work done in less time). It can also give you more time to attend and enjoy your social life and your family.

"Life doesn't mean coming to office, going home and sleeping. There is more to a life. You need time to socialize, entertainment, exercise and relaxation. Don't make your life meaningless."

Obsessive Love Disorder

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:17:00 +0000

Letting go is never an easy process, whether you've lost a loved one or had ended a relationship. However there are some people who cannot accept the fact that some people cannot reciprocate the love they are giving. These people do everything they could just to win back or have that someone in their lives again and in the process, hurt themselves and other involved parties as well.

"Love is an obsession, everybody wants it everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do, will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it." - Curtis Judalet

While some would describe love as a warm and deep affection, other people would associate it with obsession and addiction to possess their loved ones. Call it selfish but for others they can’t resist the urge of wanting to get something. This is the time when obsessive love comes in.

The term obsessive love disorder is an insatiable feeling of love and attachment towards a person. There are numerous sad stories written and told about a boy meets a girl then fall madly in love with each other and got married and yet they didn’t live happily ever after. This is an example of tragic story sequence that may lead to obsessive love. This unquenchable thirst to overcome the target of their obsession or rejection may lead to serious attempt to possess a love interest in any way possible.

Here are some of the signs of obsessive love disorder:

• Unexplainable feelings of emptiness and depression deep within.
• A sudden loss of self-esteem and self-confidence after rejection or break up.
• A desire to seek revenge against the love interest after separation.
• Several occurrence of attempted suicide.

Nevertheless, you can still avoid being drawn deep into this state by seeking professional help. It is believed that Cognitive Therapy is one of the few forms of psychotherapy that will help you deal with this specific condition. It is said that the willingness of the person involved matters the most. By undergoing this therapy, one should avoid being fixated to the person they want to forget and have constant reality checks to obtain a successful mental healing process. Also, try to avoid fantasies to ensure the love cure is really effective and most importantly, be willing to forget, move on and live a normal life without them.

Contributed by: Siena Catherine Farparan

Siena is a fun loving and spontaneous woman addicted to writing poetry, sad movies and chocolates. She was a literary editor and journalist during her college days. Presently, she’s a web content writer/SEO Specialist at Filsupport.

Break Up Advice for Women

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:43:00 +0000

Breaking up is sometimes imminent and spur-of-the-moment situation between lovers. Some people tend to be into deep agony and depression after breaking up with their love ones. The feeling of emptiness, grief, regret, and self pity are all a natural part of the healing process.

Here are the following tips on how to survive and mend your broken heart:

• Express your feelings. You can wallow in self-pity, cry your heart out and even write sad poetry. In this way, the anger and hatred you felt for him will lessen bit by bit.
• Never lose faith in people particularly men; not all men are the same. Be positive enough to think that your soul mate will come at a time when you least expect him to.
• Never, in any way, try to contact your ex. Cutting off communication with your ex is the biggest step to make the transition easier for you. It’s high time to boost your wounded ego and regain your self esteem.
• Avoid the urge to bad mouth your ex. No matter how much you hate him and all the stupid things he has done, it’s not good to reciprocate it with bad intention.
• Normally take things day by day at your own gait. Don’t push yourself too much, move on instead, collect the broken pieces of your scattered self and return it back to their proper places. Just give time its chance to heal all the wounds and free you out of regrets. Think about this, not all the time we need a man to make our lives complete.
• The best of all, just enjoy being single. Spend time with your friends and pamper yourself. Have a girls' night out, shop and be socially active. Be sure to surround yourself with people that will lift your spirits up and will make you feel better.

Let’s face it, dwelling with this kind of feeling is normally painful at first; all we need to do is lick our wounds and live a normal life again - without them.

Contributed by: Siena Catherine Farparan

Siena is a fun loving and spontaneous woman addicted to writing poetry, sad movies and chocolates. She was a literary editor and journalist during her college days. Presently, she’s a web content writer/SEO Specialist at Filsupport.

Vitamins for Migraines

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:26:00 +0000

Migraine is one of the most neurological conditions that is often mistreated. It is characterized by severe, often one-sided headaches which increases in pain intensity during physical activities. Alternative solutions such as vitamins for migraine and dietary supplements can help reduce the frequency and intensities of the pain.

Magnesium is an important mineral for the human body. Its main role is to help stabilize the blood vessel walls. Magnesium can calm the nervous and cardio-vascular systems, which in turn helps an individual fall asleep. Sources rich in magnesium such as green vegetables and nuts can help you avoid migraines and reduce their severity.

B Vitamins offer migraine relief. According to a research in Australia, Vitamins B6, B12 and folic acid can cut “migraine disability” in half in just six months. In a study published in the Journal of Pharmacogenetics and Genomics, it was reported that Vitamin B6 supplementation can help prevent migraine attacks.

The food you eat could trigger migraines. In some people, cheese, beer and wine induce migraines because they contain histamines and/or vasoactive compounds that cause blood vessels to expand. Vitamin B6 helps eliminate these histamines, which in turn reduce the pain caused by headaches.

Although vitamin supplements can help if you suffer from malnutrition or maintain a limited diet, they are not really healthy if what you normally eat already meets your nutritional needs. Taking vitamin supplements can be harmful if taken in excess. It is advisable to seek advice from a physician or a nutritionist before taking vitamins and dietary supplements.

Contributed by: Shiela Villanueva

Shiela is a freelance blogger and a photographer for a music magazine. She enjoys reading books and articles related to computers. To know more about her, visit her blogsite at http://klowis.wordpress.com.

How to Fight Depression Naturally

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:52:00 +0000

Fighting depression naturally is possible by making simple changes in your habit. Some people may survive a depression by simply changing their daily routine but in most cases, depression can be quite complex. There are people who need to undergo a lot of therapies and treatments to take control of their depression.

Is depression really curable?

With advanced and more aggressive treatments available nowadays, curing depression is considered to be possible. Drugs will only help if you can find the right medication and therapy regimen for you. Monitor any side effects and if you notice anything different, let the doctor know so he can adjust the dosage or put you in a different regimen. Maintaining the treatment usually takes up to six months for the first period but longer in cases where it’s recurring.

Depression is curable; however, there are also strategies to prevent it. You might not want to go through a lot of side effects before you find the right cure so here are simple tips that can help you fight depression naturally:

Prepare for the battle

"To the dull mind nature is laden. To the illuminated mind the whole world burns and sparkles with light." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fake it until you make it. The most difficult part of fighting depression is taking control of your thoughts. Try to change your thinking style from pessimistic to optimistic. The best way to do this is to put yourself in a happier mood. Smile and think of things that make you happy. Think of happy thoughts and feel it. Let it rule your mind and heart at this moment. When painful thoughts suddenly cross your mind, go back to the positive state of mind. Continue doing this until it becomes natural for you. Finding inner peace when facing depression is really hard which is why the best way to move forward is to remind yourself of the good things you’ve left behind.

Develop a positive support group. Surround yourself with positive, happy people. Likes attract likes so get out of that bad environment and look for people who can lighten your load. Laugh with them and engage in the conversation. Refrain yourself from hanging up with people who have lots of hang ups.

Engage in activities you enjoy. Don’t deprive yourself with the enjoyment you deserve. Here are the things that might help you distract yourself:

Do something for yourself. Eat, sleep and exercise.
De-clutter your house and donate those things that you don’t use and need.
Have a vacation with your family or friends.
There are lots of good things you can do. As long as you enjoy it, go for it!

Attack!

Now that you are feeling positive, it’s time to confront the issues that lead to depression. The first phase is only the recovery stage in which you gear yourself up with the strength you need to end up this battle. Use what you’ve learned during the initial process to face your problems. I hope that this time you have the ability to wake up each day with something to look forward to.

Warning: This article is not intended to substitute for medical treatment. If you have suicidal thoughts, please seek a professional help immediately.

Common Signs of Abuse in a Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 21:37:00 +0000

An abusive partner uses a variety of tactics to avoid discussions, so you don’t have time to think about their bad behavior. An abusive man can easily make you think that you are always wrong and he is the superior. Abusive relationships cause depression and loss of self-esteem to many women who try to save their relationship with their partners.

Here are the most common signs of abuse in a relationship. If you are experiencing one of these signs, it may be time to reassess your relationship and seek help from a professional counselor to fully understand your situation and free yourself from the love that is not true.

• He becomes possessive and jealous. He tries to isolate you from all supportive people in your life – family, friends and co-workers. He trains you to behave in ways he wants you to behave.

• He only hears what he wants to hear. He always gives good reason for his actions so he can be the right. To make you feel inferior, he will call you names and play on your weakness.

• He’s an emotional manipulator. Your partner is always telling you that it is your fault why he is abusive. He often uses your mistakes in the past to manipulate you. A skilled abusive partner has a number of strategies to make you wrong during and at the end of an argument.

• He becomes apologetic and loving after the abusive situation has occurred.

• You are forced to have sex with him just to avoid a quarrel.

• He limits your resources to work, money or material resources. An abusive man feels like a real man only if his partner is totally dependent on him.

• He always breaks his promises.

• He punishes you. He withholds sex, emotional intimacy or threatens you to punish you when he doesn’t get his way.

• He disrespects his mother, sister or any women in his life.

An abusive partner might disagree with the need for counseling because he believes that there’s nothing wrong with him. If this is your case, then you must take action to protect yourself and anyone involved by leaving. If you are afraid because of financial reason, then call your family, friends or anyone you know who can help. Your abusive partner may beg for forgiveness or do anything to get you back but don’t go back until you see that he completely changed for the better. If your partner doesn’t want to seek help, be very careful after you leave because he may lose control and become a threat to you. If there is a big possibility that this might happen, you should seek legal help.

The first step in getting out of an abusive relationship is to realize that you have the right to be treated with respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another person. - Unknown

We Can Help the Victims of Typhoon Sendong

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:17:00 +0000

December 19, 2011 - a powerful typhoon named Sendong struck the Philippines and killed about 1,000 people in the cities of Cagayan de Oro and Iligan City.

According to the National Disaster Agency, there are more than 338,000 people in 13 provinces affected by the calamity. More than 10,000 houses were destroyed, leaving the residents homeless this Christmas. There are no electricity, source of clean water for human consumption, clothes, hygiene supplies and enough food to feed all the casualties.

I want to take this opportunity to ask donations for all the victims. To all my co-bloggers, followers and readers of this blog, we can all help send relief to those in need by giving our donations to any of these organizations:

Kapuso Foundation

Sagip Kapamilya Foundation

Philippine Red Cross

Thanks in advance to anyone who will help by praying, donating, or just spreading this to those who may be interested in helping too.

The Key of Credence. Credence means “Acceptance as true or valid; belief.”

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:06:00 +0000

“Perfect Liberty follows no rules, law, or any virtue for that matter. It disregards respect, courteousness, and love.”

As I read the novel for the first time, I was unsure of what the story has to offer me. What is it about? Will I enjoy it? I’m not really into YA and Harry Potter like books because I usually am not patient with the next installment of their books. But a very good friend, Ate Jho, made me read The Seven and why would I say no? It’s such a privilege to be one of the firsts to go through the book.

Now here is what I want to say about this book. IT’S LIKE NO OTHER. It is unique, it is fresh, it is exciting and it has values - which I mostly look for in a book. The Key of Credence is about friendship, faith, loyalty, about family, and above all, it is about the love from our Creator. We are indeed the “Favored” ones.

It doesn’t insist on one type of religion, though I must say I can relate it to Christianity as it depicts Heaven and Helle. The journey of Ryan and her friends makes the plot stimulating and thrilling as they experience the unnatural and the unknown. Veronica Mist, I must say, has taken me to places so mysterious and intriguing. Expect fascinating and terrifying creatures along the way, which make you imagine you were really there and actually seeing and interacting with them, too. It evokes feeling of fear (because of the presence of evil characters), a sense of responsibility and strength coming from the main character, Ryan.

I strongly recommend this to everyone out there. Whatever genre you prefer, whether young or old or in-between, I assure you that this book will not disappoint you. It would even make you yearn for more, because I, too, am waiting for the next installment - patiently (this is so hard on my part lol). Grab a copy, The Seven- Key of Credence is now available for someone who needs a dose of excitement and adventure; and with surprising lessons along the way.

Mistakes – Accept, Learn and Grow

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:37:00 +0000

Making mistakes is a part of life.

In many instances, most people are hesitant to accept their mistakes. Instead they attempt to prove that they are correct by making a bunch of excuses. If someone tell us that we are wrong, not only we deny our mistakes, but we also get angry at them. Far from apologizing to them, we adopt a self-righteous attitude and in turn hurts our relationship with ourselves and others.

Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. There are times when it's unintentional. The wisest thing to do is take responsibility of your own mistake, accept the consequences, and be part of the solution to the problem that resulted from it.

If you made a mistake that hurt someone, remember that a simple apology goes a long way.

The Big Book of You by Jennifer McLean

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:29:00 +0000

A Book Review by Dodilee Patalinghug

A motivational book that will surprise you.

Every word is a reflection of who you are, your life’s experiences, trauma, agonies, wishes, and inner goodness. The book is all about YOU.

As I first opened the book, the thing that caught my attention is the picture shown on the left side of the pages. They are not mere images that you see on other books as it is more like a portrait of calmness and serenity which makes you feel at ease while going through the book. There are also short messages on the sides that will pierce through your inner core. This book is all about YOU.

I love how the author motivates her readers by setting real life experiences that she had encountered in her healing practices. One was the way on how to forgive. Surely, all of us have some sort of enemy. It may be our own self that we are in conflict with or the people around us. We are not only hurting them but also, sometimes unaware of it, we are also hurting ourselves. Now, Jennifer McLean has made me realize that. She cited an example on how to tackle forgiveness which definitely changed my views. You have to read the book for you to personally experience Jennifer McLean’s healing words.

Unlike other spiritual and motivational books, “The Big Book of You” is not biased. It is for everyone with different kinds of religion, ethnicity, culture and beliefs. It is quite general yet targeted on issues that most of us had experienced in life. Its focus is on how you deal with yourself so you can be a better component of the society. If you have been wishing for world peace, well it should start within yourself- your inner peace. All of this are explained and elaborated on the book. Scientific experiments and theories are also presented to give a clearer picture on how to achieve harmony in the society.

Lastly, although the book talks about YOU, it doesn’t teach you to be selfish and ignorant of other individuals. I’m even quite surprised, while reading the book, that it only instructs us to LOVE ourselves. And we all know that when it comes to love, everything is fair and balanced. Japanese call it Yin-Yang, Hindus call it Karma, and Buddhist has this Golden Rule, all of which symbolizes equilibrium.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” –Albert Einstein

How to Overcome Jealousy

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 17:51:00 +0000

Due to a request, I will share my thoughts on how to overcome jealousy even though I don’t have personal experience in this area. Sometimes I feel jealous but it normally fades quickly.

Before we get into the topic, let me define first what jealousy is. Not to be confused with envy, jealousy is an emotion resulting from the belief that another person’s success or happiness somehow affects your own. This secondary emotion is merely trying to please our ego, by hiding our inabilities and insecurities.

photo by heyhega.blogspot.com

When it comes to relationships, jealousy is so irresistible that people fail to acknowledge its negative effects. It causes problems in communication and can eventually destroy a relationship. In my opinion, when we are in a state of jealousy, we are looking through the lens of scarcity. In the state of jealousy, we can be unreasonable and selfish. But when we look through the lens of abundance, we can detach ourselves from that negative emotion.

Now that you know the meaning behind the word jealousy, here are the tips that can help you overcome jealousy and develop a positive human connection.

Acknowledge the Feeling. Don’t pretend or deny the feeling. The solution starts with understanding the problem. So, acknowledge what you are feeling right now. It is the only way you can understand the situation and start eliminating that destructive emotion. Jealousy is a part of your ego, so in order for you to do this you need to detach yourself from it and look at the situation from another’s perspective.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others is an act of pride and ego. Some says that this is not all bad. However, this kind of practice only results in loss of self-confidence and unhappiness. Turning other people’s weaknesses into our strengths can only keep us from improving ourselves. It can only lead us to believe that we are superior among others while in reality we can’t always be on top of everything.

Be grateful for who you are and what you have and what they have. Use your own skills and abilities to excel in the field you’re interested in. Instead of feeling jealous because someone else has gotten those opportunities that you wanted, be happy for them. Develop positive attitude and mentality. You can be whatever you want to be only if you believe. The power of gratitude is sufficient to overcome jealousy.

Journey to the West

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:54:00 +0000

"I knelt down to put the seeds into the hole. Before I could stand up, I felt something heavy smash into the back of my head and the impact threw me violently to the ground. The next thing I saw was fresh blood pouring out and soaking the earth red beneath my eyes."

“Jinjin’s hoe had struck my head! For a moment, nobody comprehended what had happened. Then a girl nearby screamed. Lying motionless on the dirt and the newly dug soil, I could not see the panic and shock in Jinjin’s eyes, but I was conscious. My classmates were quickly gathering around me, their voices filled with fear, disbelief, fright and horror. I did not feel anything.”

That is a short excerpt from my debut novel The Same Moon. That was in 1976 deep in the interior of China. The protagonist, Pearl, a teenager still at school, was working in the fields. That accident could have killed her but she survived. In a poverty stricken backwater of the largest country on earth, she lived a life destined to be hers and that of millions of others.

Twelve years later, after Pearl has consistently followed her life path mapped out for her - she has gone to university, got a job, a man and a child, all familiar and acceptable and nothing unusual, she left all that familiarity behind and headed West.

As the author, I did exactly the same, uprooting myself from China and came to the United Kingdom in 1988. Consequently, readers of The Same Moon invariably have asked me: Are you Pearl?

There is no denying that as a little girl once lost in that ancient land, her life reflected that of mine, as well as millions of others. One reader has told me how much she loved the book because she could see her brother and people she knows in the story, although she was born in Shanghai and belongs to a different generation. Another reader from Vietnam commented that the book moved her to tears because it reminded her of her days back home in South East Asia. That has to be one of the most gratifying moments for a writer, to be told that her characters resonate as real people with whom the readers could identify and relate to.

We all know that there are a great many cultural differences between different countries, some more fundamental than others. There has been a traditional divide between the East and the West, in terms of political system, the traditions, customs, religions and many other less obvious nuances. How does someone from the East try to adjust to the Western way of life? What kind of barriers and difficulties does she have to face? Nowadays many of us cross borders and different people and races mingle and integrate, and sometimes exist in segregation. Through following Pearl’s footsteps, those who have never been to another country can encounter a number of surprises and discoveries. For those who have had similar experiences, they will gain an insight, an understanding and even appreciation of Pearl’s life, a life ordinary yet inspiring. A young girl who faced death and heartache and many other misfortunes, yet survived to tell her tales, and inspire future generations with her story of optimism, and human spirit to triumph against all odds.

For the full story of Pearl’s personal journey from the East to the West, please go to Amazon (The Same Moon) and Smashwords (\’Journey to the West\’ Book 1). For more inspirational writings, photgraphs and videos, go to http://www.junyingkirk.com/.

Emotional Abuse

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 22:50:00 +0000

Emotional abuse is a form of abuse intended to manipulate or suppress another person through the use of fear, humiliation, bullying, guilt, etc. Emotional abuse is like a way of manipulation for it steadily eats away at the victim’s self-esteem.

Emotionally abused victims can become so convinced by the abuser that they are nothing. Whether the abuse is done by persistent criticizing or giving advice to another person as a concern, the results are similar.

Emotional abusers – WHO ARE THEY?

• They tend to make unreasonable demands for attention.
• They love drama because they it creates excitement.
• They reject a person’s emotional needs by causing feelings of hurt, fear or anxiety.
• They use the “silent treatment tactic” to punish those who hurt them.
• They disallow and overrule any perceptions or feelings that are different from their own.
• They usually throw blame to others for their own actions or words.
• They give erratic responses. For example, they like something you do one day and hates it the next.

Victims of abuse often experience feelings of worthlessness, hurt, guilt, and anger. Ironically, abusers are often caught in such abusive situations. In fact, abusing another is their way of dealing with their own feelings of worthlessness, hurt, guilt, and anger. Therefore, abusers may be attracted to those who identify themselves as weak or who don’t value their own feelings or perceptions. In this way, the abuser establishes emotional security and authority.

Emotional abusers are everywhere. They can be a family member, teacher, boss, co-worker, your partner or even yourself. If we endure ill treatment from others, or treat others in abusive ways, it is likely that we also treat ourselves in the same way. If you are the abuser or victim of emotional abuse, you may want to reflect on how you treat yourself. How often did you engage yourself in negative self-talk? Do you think you’re weak, helpless or useless? When you love and value yourself, you will be able to create a positive force that can protect you and even counterbalance the negativity of abusive people.

You can’t change the way others treat you. You can never change them. As Wayne Dyer said, “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.”

Claim Your Personal Power

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:47:00 +0000

Have you guys heard about the story of The Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen? Of course you did, it’s very popular after all. Well, in case you haven’t - which I highly doubt - I’ll condense the story for you.

The story is about an ugly duckling who’d been bullied all his life. Because he was extremely ugly, he was bitten and pushed and made fun of, not only by the ducks, but by all the poultry where he was born. Some of the humans too, would kick him and ignore him just because he was born so different from his duck family. When he ran away from home, all the animals he met would also harass him because of his appearance and yet he did not lose heart as he continuously sought for those birds that had the same guise as him, although after a long while, his hope diminished as he lay frozen on a winter ground. Then one day, when spring came - after all his misadventures – he found himself staring at his reflection in the water. He became one of those exceptional looking birds he had once dreamed of becoming. And to top it all, the people and other beasts called him “the most beautiful of them all.”

While some people only recognize the moral of the story as trivial as one’s looks, I appreciate it beyond that. For me, some if not most of us had been an ugly duckling once in our lives. Others, yes, might have experienced more calloused life than the other, yet it doesn’t change the fact that we all have been this tiny lost bird once in our lives.

When we’ve been adrift to what fate has in store for us, we struggle to the path we thought was meant for us. Trudging through that road, we experience incomparable trials we believe were unwarranted for someone who has done nothing but to struggle all his life. We watch helplessly as our friends and those people who had once walked with us become so distant, so far from our reach while we could no longer walk together with them since the road in front of us has come to an end, and the one behind us completely vanished with the mist of our past.

An unexplainable dark cloud surrounds us, and we’re trapped with this unseen intensity, forcing us to be stuck on where we stood. We waited patiently, so unwearyingly for someone, anyone to give their hands and help us to move along with them. Yet, as time moves, all the while enveloped with this stark darkness, our patience thins out and our hope… our hope starts to abandon us, leaving us miserable and oh so weak to even believe.

And then suddenly there was this new road before us, so different from what our friends and companions had taken, yet it led straight to what we once dreamed of becoming. Not the one we were molded to be by our parents, the education we finished or what the society expected from us to turn out into, the same way everyone expected for our little ugly duckling to grow – a duck. But time and destiny have something more in store for him than just becoming a duck. He was to become a beautiful swan and nothing less than that. And at the end, all the trials and persecution he underwent came into fruition because he was meant for something greater than any other ducks could wish for, and thus he claimed his personal power by accomplishing his desire.

Once in our life, we might have experienced becoming an odd one. The person who stood out in the crowd because of that “dreadful” difference. We asked ourselves why? Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else? And then we demean ourselves. Why do I even dream of becoming so wonderful when I’m just like this? It’s not possible for this little ‘ol me to become great; I’m nothing, I’m no one, I’m so stupid, I’m so ugly, I’m so poor, I’m not like them. I’ll just stay here and cry.

But I believe that uniqueness—when pursued and followed—will one day become an advantage, for no remarkable person would want just any ‘commoner’ to foster. They search for those who possess inimitable skill, looks, or talent. It might be hard, especially if it’s a dream no one believes you’re capable of achieving, but a road will soon be presented for you in guise of an opportunity only given to a few. And once you’re there and had claimed the strength within you; spread your wings, rustle your feathers, and carve your slender neck. For it’s time that an ugly duck becomes a beautiful swan.

Guest Blogger of the Week: Veronica Mist

Veronica is a pure blooded Filipina. She’s a day dreamer, a storyteller, an artist, an adventure seeker... or, as others would call it, a pyscho. Because of that fatuous character, she came about the story of The Seven, where all her fantasy of nonsensical being and world came about. This is her first novel. She lives in the Philippines with her parents and siblings. To learn more about her, visit her on Facebook

Surviving a Break Up

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:50:00 +0000

Surviving a break up is one of the hardest things to do. When that happens, the healing process may depend upon time. Through this process, one should try to minimize his/her suffering while still properly dealing with such break up.

There are many factors involved why many people break up with their partners after several years of being together. Infidelity, imbalance of authority, family issues, immaturity, insecurity and ineffective communication are some of the factors I know. Whatever the reason you have right now, you can’t escape the reality that surviving a break up is really difficult.

Letting go of unhealthy relationship is the healthiest anyone can do. However, emotional attachment seems to be the conflict that forces a person to rekindle such relationship.

It’s fine to be sad after a break up.

It is only reasonable to be emotionally down after a break up. In the mourning stage, everyone is entitled to give themselves time to deal with the realization and adopt with the change. It is only normal to go through sorrow, depression and grief. However, it is irrational to dwell on it for so long. The important this is that you try to understand the situation and move forward.

Clinging to anger is only a waste of time and energy.

If someone suffered from a painful break up, revenge is the common option to ease the pain. The common scenario is the so-called victim seeks to punish an ex by moving on too fast. If you want to do this, think twice. Revenge is self-punishment. Let go of the unforgiving heart.

Never play the blame-game.

Blaming yourself or your ex-partner can never change what happened. Take things positively instead of escaping your own mistakes. If you are wrong, admit it. What matters most is that you’ve learned from it. Use these lessons to improve your future relationship.

Enjoy being single.

You will soon realize that being single has more advantages than being in a relationship. You can spend your extra time you would've spend dealing with emotional issues between you and your partner for yourself, family and something worth your energy. There is always something to learn from suffering.

The Law of Attraction/Like Attracts Like

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret Duarte) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:00:00 +0000

by Margaret Duarte

Do you ever have one of those days when, out-of-the-blue, something good happens? You find yourself smiling and moving from flat line to turned on.

Then something else good happens, and, low-and-behold, you get so buzzed that another good thing happens, and then another and another, until all snowballs into one fantastic day.

Why doesn't this happen more often?

And why do some days, instead, spiral down, down, down, everything going wrong, wrong, wrong? You can't wait to fall into bed at night and put an end to your misery.

What's going on? What's the hold up?

According to the Law of Attraction, the hold up is you. More specifically, what you're thinking--and FEELING.

Sure, you can't prevent bad things from happening (Though I'm sure you've tried).

But you can control how you react to all those ruts in the road and if you're going to allow them to become the driving force in your life.

"Welcome problems and eat them for breakfast," says Alfred Montapert.

By Segredo

Fear of failure leads to failure, faith leads to more faith.

So how does The Law of Attraction work?

Let me break it into five steps.

1. Your thoughts become things.

Everything in the world is made of energy.

Energy vibrates.

We are energy, thus we send out vibrations (in form of electromagnetic waves).

Energy flowing out from us comes from our emotions--low frequencies, such as worry, and high frequencies, such as joy.

Thought is propelled by our emotions.

Like magnets, we pull back into our world anything that's playing on the same frequency or wavelength as our emotions.

So we get what we emotionally focus on.

2. Focus on what you want.

Identify what you want.

Dare to dream.

You're already creating your life through your thoughts and actions, might as well create it the way you want it to be.

View your life from the mountaintop, see the whole picture, gain perspective.

Focus on the end product, not how to get there.

3. Feel good about what you want.

Pretend you already have what you want.

Envision it in vivid detail, how you'll feel when you have it.

Enjoy how it makes you feel.

Fake it until you make it.

It takes 16 seconds to link up vibrationally to whatever you're focusing on.

The magic genie is feelings, where your gut gets excited.

4. Believe you'll get what you want:

Expect and let it happen.

Positive thoughts magnetize your desires.

Look for and think about what makes you happy.

Add enthusiasm, add appreciation, create a buzz.

Pay attention, listen, trust.

5. Achieve what you want.

Write a new script for your life story.

Start acting it out, certain of a positive ending.

When you hit a wall, go around it or climb over it.

Acting is putting beliefs into motion.

Next thing you know, you'll be attracting just the right people, situations, and events to accomplish your goal.

When people start wondering why you're always smiling and what the secret is to your charmed life, go ahead and tell them, "Like attracts like."

Some may call The Law of Attraction a bunch of metaphysical mumbo jumbo. That's their right. But there's something I can say for sure (because I've experienced it over and over in my life): Good thoughts, happy thoughts, and grateful thoughts, attract more good, more happiness, and more things to be grateful for.

Guaranteed!

Speck-Picking Behaviors

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:09:00 +0000

Is it really unhealthy to talk about someone behind their back? If so, why? Many of my friends and even me take part in this kind of activity. I admit that sometimes I am talking to my closest friends about the person I am irritated with. After reading the book “The Power of New Attitude by Dr. Alan E. Nelson,” I found out the reason why “speck-picking” is one of the behaviors that I must avoid in order to achieve positive personal growth.

What are the speck-picking behaviors?

• Expressing constructive suggestions for another person when he or she is not present
• Easily get irritated about petty behaviors or characteristics of another person
• Make negative remarks about another person as a “concern” or a “prayer request”
Why is it very important to completely eliminate these from our daily routines?

The answer is very simple but unconceivable in the eyes of people who only see the mistakes of others. In the book, Dr. Allan said that “our tendency to point out the weakness of others is a way to avoid facing our own short-comings and areas needing improvement.” This is so true and I couldn’t agree more!

Now, I understand that a part of me still needs improvement and this is a really serious matter. If I will continue my speck-picking behavior, I will be trapped in self-righteousness and that is something I am afraid of. I don’t want to be blinded by my own arrogance and ignorance. Thanks to the book of Dr. Allan for enlightening me and helping me to see where I need to work.

Empathy

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:21:00 +0000

Empathy versus Sympathy

Do you know what the word empathy means? Most people think that it is similar to sympathy. Well, sympathy is different from empathy. While sympathy is to understand what someone feels, empathy is to project your imagination so to actually feel what the other person is feeling. Empathy is to put oneself in other person’s situation.

Facts about Empathy

According to studies, showing empathy for others nurtures both creative and critical thinking.
Empathic people are more likely to forgive and have satisfying long-term relationships.
According to several researchers, it is a key part of emotional intelligence, which is an essential part of leadership. It can create effective leaders that are capable of moving a company forward.
Those who have the empathic ability get along better with their family and other people.
It creates a safe environment that is important to a two-way problem solving approach.

How to Develop Empathy

1. Learn how to read someone’s face. Are they happy, sad, angry or afraid? Don’t hesitate to ask why they are feeling that.

2. Use your imagination to experience other person’s situation. Sincerely take time to think how you would feel if you were in that person’s situation. Help them to feel better. Make them feel secure and safe.

3. "The world is not about you, it about living in a world full of others." Self-centeredness and self-interest are one of the many factors that kill relationships. To avoid escalating a problem, one must let go his or her attachment to self-interest and self-centeredness to understand another person’s feelings.

4. Help, don’t criticize. When someone is having trouble with their life, there is a tendency that they will show negative behavior toward others. Never take it personal. Instead, take advantage of the situation to understand them and help them feel better.

5. Free yourself from past heartaches. If you can’t find ways to free yourself from those destructive heartaches, chances are you will ONLY see your pains.

What's Your Headline?

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret Duarte) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 13:53:00 +0000

by Margaret Duarte

"What's your headline," asks Shawna Todd in the July/August issue of Daily Word magazine.

If your life story were on display for everyone to see, what would it say about you?

Would it describe the life you want to live, the way you want to be remembered?

If the answer is yes, live your story with gusto, grateful that you have found your true path.

If the answer is no, you need to begin co-creating with Spirit--now.

Visualize your life story as you would like it to be, then write your new headline and ask Spirit to help you make it a reality.

I particularly liked this article because it mirrors the message of my book, Between Now and Forever, in which a substitute teacher helps launch seven troubled teens into their own life stories. "So listen carefully," she says after her students convince her to share some of the details of her difficult, yet remarkable past. "Take notes if you like. Because after my story--and you do need a story--I hope you'll discover a way through the dark wood and step forward with confidence into your own stories."

Thanks for stopping by.

Positive Thinking and Perseverance

noreply@blogger.com (Joann H. Buchanan) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 17:19:00 +0000

by Joann Hamann-Buchanan

Over the course of the last two years I embarked on a journey. I thought, I'm going to be a writer. I am going to write a book, become published and become a full time author. Boy did I have a lot to learn. What seemed like something as natural as putting shoes on had become something more difficult than I ever thought possible. Why did it have to be so hard?

I had been writing my entire life as a closet writer. What does that mean? Simple, I had been writing stories for myself without concern for things like grammar, point of view and oh the dreaded story flow. I had been writing the stories for myself without showing them to anyone. Why should it be so hard to write a story that others loved as much as I did?

Upon my first submission, I found I had a lot to learn. I needed to learn about formatting, story structure and the all dreaded grammar. I couldn't believe it-rejected. Like all others who start out, I had to rethink my whole view on writing and what it takes.

There was a lot to learn and relearn and even more to take in than I ever thought possible. Should I give up? Should I fade off into the distance like so many other people who have dreams and never achieve them? That was really not an option for me. So, what I did was simple, I kept going. I listened to other writers who made it. I learned from their critiques and the bloodied up pages that were sent back to me. In short-I kept going.
There were so many times when I wanted to say forget about it. I wanted to step back and disappear. The problem was my mind wouldn't let me. It wouldn't let the characters I created; fade off into the distance as nothing more than a pipe-dream that should have never crossed my heart. Finally, two years later, I have a publishing deal on a novella I wrote called Soulless Light. The story is about a young girl in the 1300's who is killed and takes out revenge on those who murdered not only her, but the love of her life. It was a fun write and I have to say she is one of my favorite characters ever.

Even though there were times when I wanted to give up, I knew I couldn't. That's the whole point of life. If you have a goal you can reach it with positive thinking and perseverance. There is a place for everyone on the planet no matter what you're trying to accomplish. You just have to be willing to listen and learn. It is only through the ability to learn that we are able to grow and accomplish what we set out to do. Remember that you are the one who has to believe it first. If you don't, why should anyone else?

This is the first of many novels I hope to have out there. It was without a doubt the hardest part of the journey so far. You all know the part I'm talking about. It's the part of getting someone, anyone who has a key to the gate, to let you in. Stay positive and never give up. That is how you make it to where you want to be. That's how you get the golden ticket to the show of your choice. In the end, it's up to you.

The Signs of Insecurity – How to Get Rid of It

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 17:51:00 +0000

Most of us search for security everywhere, hoping that this will finally give us the sense of security and assurance that we need.

In reality, there is nothing outside of yourself that can give you the sense of security. If you can’t find it inside, chances are you will end up looking for it through other people.

How to know if you are insecure? Consider these signs:

• Insecure people usually ask for the approval of others before they act. They think that others know better what to do without realizing what they are capable of doing.

• When facing criticism, they often lose control and don’t think about their response, so they quickly fight back in retaliation to defend themselves.

• Making fun of others do much is also a mechanism of coping with insecurity. Insecure people are desperate for other people’s attention, which is achieved when they make them laugh. However, this can lead to insensitivity towards others feelings.

• They are always promoting themselves. They need the opinion of others for their actions.

How to get rid of insecurity?

1. Know yourself. There are many things that you can discover about yourself. You just can’t find the security inside because you don’t acknowledge your hidden skills and abilities. Everyone is exceptional - so are you! Acknowledge these gifts and utilize it for personal growth.

2. Be assertive, not aggressive. There is a big difference between assertion and aggression. Being overly aggressive is not really healthy because it could lead to destructive results. Unlike aggression, assertion involves respecting the right of others even while showing some levels of aggression.

3. Learn to accept criticism as it is part of personal growth. Rejection is unavoidable so your ego should be strong enough to endure it. Listen to others' opinion. You can’t fully grow if you keep avoiding the HURTFUL THINGS THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU.

4. Know your purpose. Human beings are naturally purpose driven. If you know your purpose in life, then you will definitely do things out of happiness – not for happiness.

5. Be honest about your feelings. Honesty is the bedrock foundation of a strong relationship. Being real and open of what you feel may be intimidating for some people, but it can really help you build a safer relationship with others.

6. Lastly, check your progress and deliberately monitor yourself. When achieving personal growth, it is necessary for you to check your progress and purposely monitor yourself. Doing so can keep you from going back to the same “OLD YOU.” When you step in the front door of self-improvement, promise yourself that you won’t step back again.

Letting Go of the Unforgiving Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:39:00 +0000

Hanging on to anger and resentment can negatively affect your behavior and health, not to mention your relationship. Some of us easily and unintentionally ignore this fact, especially when we are physically or emotionally hurt by someone. It is the reason why many people are spending their lives in jail because they allowed the anger and bitterness in their heart rule them. Many are suffering the consequences of “not forgiving” yet couldn’t find the courage to forgive and forget.

I, myself also have the hard time forgiving those who hurt me. I realized that it is one of negative things that hold me back from achieving positive personal growth. I know suppressing anger is bad for me because it increases my chances of hurting somebody, which I am afraid of doing. So, to avoid this I listed some ways below that will not only help me but others as well.

Pray to God

Whenever you remember the name of the person who harmed you intentionally/unintentionally, pray for this person to help them realize their mistakes. Tell God to help you remove the pain and totally forget about it and move on. Praying can work wonders not only for your spiritual growth but for your physical health.

Be Always Grateful for What You Have

Always count your blessings. Be grateful for the simple, small things that you receive every day. Try not to seek happiness from others. Instead, focus on ways on how to make yourself happy just by yourself. Happiness must always come from within! It is good habit to purposely end your day this way to keep you calm and peaceful every day.

Stay Positive

When you feel you are being challenged, remind yourself that this is just a transition you’re going through and you will not spend your whole life going through this pace. Just think about this: Your most challenging moments are what best describe you. Embrace the challenging situations in your life by accepting them, instead of avoiding them.

Forgive and Forget

Try not to look back at old, dreadful, sad memories of a person that hurt you badly in the past. Instead, try to let go and try to forget. Unravel yourself from emotionally harmful situations that hurt you most. Learn your mistakes so that you will consciously avoid similar situations in the future.

The combination of these spiritual and mental practices cannot only help us let go of the anger and resentment but can also help us regulate our emotions.

The Bond Teleseries!

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:00:00 +0000

We are reaching out to you again to amplify Lynne McTaggert’s launch of THE BOND BOOK AND TELESERIES on July 25th, 2011- Yes, its just a few days away!

The BOND TELESERIES is a free, life-changing 21-day online event launching July 25, hosted by internationally renowned bestselling author, researcher, and lecturer Lynne McTaggart. The world’s foremost thought leaders are joining together with the public for this very special summit to help shape a new blueprint for change – for a better, fairer world. Our intention is to make sure as many people as possible can take advantage of the information as well as the wisdom of the speakers featured.

HERE IS A LITTLE MORE INFORMATION ON THE BOND TELESERIES:

The Bond Teleclass delivers a five-day curriculum featuring The Bond author, Lynne McTaggart, communicating and teaching newfound transformational principles from her new book to further cultivate wisdom and truth.

The Fairness Campaign Summit is a daily series enabling registrants to learn from 23 prominent transformational thought and wellness leaders including Jack Canfield, Steven Covey, Ivan Misner, Paul Scheele and Hale Dwoskin, Marianne Williamson, Michael Beckwith and Eric Pearl, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Jean Houston, Janet Attwood, Gay and Katie Hendricks and Arielle Ford, Bryan Hubbard, Arjuna Ardagh, Marci Shimoff and Howard Martin, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Bobbi De Porter and Lisa Nicholas, James O’Dea and Don Beck.

The Bond Teleclass & The Fairness Campaign Summit will commence on July 25th, with each teleclass & speaker engagement beginning at 4 p.m. PST each day through August 15th. Participants can subscribe to the free event by visiting: http://masterful.net/thebond. Subscribers will also have the option of purchasing the complete program in a variety of packages through the website and can listen to each show for 48 hours free of charge.

5 Steps to a Concrete Personal Growth Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 03:18:00 +0000

Personal growth is not simply a subject of interest practiced by some knowledgeable people. It is a process that can be harnessed by all of us to improve our lives or reach our goals. A personal growth plan encompasses a series of steps that can be taken to hone one's skills and knowledge to achieve a desired change.

It is important to understand that personal growth only begins when you acknowledge that YOU are in control of your life. Many people fail to improve their lives even after going through personal growth courses and reading a lot of self-help books merely because they don’t believe in themselves.

While there are no definite set of rules designed towards achieving personal growth because each of us has different goals and experiences in life, there are some basic steps you can take.

1. Accept: In contrast to common opinion, acceptance doesn’t equate to defeat. “Acceptance is a person's agreement to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.” [Wikipedia.org] This helps you to see things as they are and gives a sense of direction. Remember that you cannot solve a problem if you don’t acknowledge its existence.

2. Develop a plan: Without a concrete plan, you are likely to fail. Planning is the main key to any successful personal growth plan. Be as clear as possible about what you want to do and outline realistic steps for its implementation. Make its simple and easy to follow. Your plan must be able to adapt and thrive to any unexpected changes along the way.

3. Look for mentors: Personal growth is not a self-help project. Remember that we can’t fully grow by isolating ourselves. A mentor can be someone in your family or circle of friends. Let them serve as an inspiration.

4. Put plan into practice: Once you have your plan, it is now time for you to take the practical steps. Take the steps one at a time. Have a specific time frame and take REALISTIC steps. This will enable you to avoid frustration. Furthermore, celebrate every success you make, no matter how small it may be. This is the secret to accelerating your success.

5. Re-evaluate your plan periodically: This is necessary in order to avoid stagnation. It is imperative to re-evaluate your target once in a while as you might have already achieved it and it is time for you to set new goals.

These are some of the steps in which you can create and implement your personal growth plan. Remember, no one can make changes in your life but you!

What are you grateful for today?

noreply@blogger.com (Aris Moreno) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 14:58:00 +0000

There are times that we are not aware of our thoughts, which give us the reason to indulge ourselves in negative things. Simple worries and complaints are very subtle in the way it flows into our thoughts.

Here are some examples of simple worries and complaints to help you become aware of their quality of being difficult to detect or analyze:

The weather is so terrible today.
My job is making me sick.
He always makes me wait.
I hate the way she says that.
The food is not that great.
This traffic is making me crazy.
I’ve been waiting in line for so long.
His presence is giving me a headache.

Worrying and complaining are just a waste of time. They can only ruin your day and fill it with negative energy. Remember that you have the ability to be grateful for something in your life. Learn to appreciate the simple things in every situation, even if the conditions are less than ideal.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you? – William A. Ward