This challenge is tough; but surely I can do it.

I am tough; surely I can do this [challenge].

The former admits humility; the latter often ends in defeat.

It hit me while I was getting my butt kicked by a Pinterest-inspired in-home workout.  (Thank you very little, Pinterest!)  It looked easy enough on paper.  It was a mere 14-point list of exercises rife with pushups, burpees, and a one-minute wall sit.  ‘I’m tough.  Surely I can handle this,’ I told myself as I had SO many times before.

And man did I rock it!  I was tough.  Admittedly, my legs felt a little J-E-L-L-Oish after the wall sit, but I made it through—body intact.  It was finally time to shower up before the little people were awake…

Or was it?

What’s this?  As I peered at the words at the bottom of the workout, I discovered what I suspected all along… “Repeat 3-5 times for max results.” Ughhh.  It was decision time.  Would I give in…or would I go for it and repeat the workout—twice?

For better and for a whole lot worse, I went for it and “maximized my results.”  And shortly after making that decision, I had to admit that I was not the one that was tough…the workout was tough (or at least it was for this thirty-something body).  My stream of consciousness was in full swing as I battled through a second and third set of jumping jacks and crunches.  What if I switched the sentence order in my head for all the challenges in my life? What if I admit a situation is tough and that I’ll probably need help BEFORE pridefully jumping in head first?  What if I simply switch the sentence order like the example below?

I began compiling a mental list of challenges I have faced where this simple switch would have really come in handy.  Instead of “I’m tough…surely I can get through this race;” a better outlook in high school XC and track may have been, “This race is tough…but I can do it!”

I sure don’t miss those shorts; and I bet my dad doesn’t miss that cinder track either.

Instead of erroneously assuming ‘I’m tough, I can slide right through this motherhood thing unscathed,’ perhaps a MUCH more realistic admission that motherhood is the toughest (and, most rewarding) thing I’ve ever had to do would have helped from the get-go.  It could have come in handy while writing a book, too!

The point is that sometimes life and the way we see it comes down to sentence structure.  Tweak the order and the outcome changes dramatically, significantly.  There is beauty in humility; and I am grateful to have learned it the hard way (once again).  Hopefully next time, I’ll take the Road Less Traveled straightaway AND read all the directions first!

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

I will admit I was 90% sure before walking in that this 9-10 a.m. time frame was reserved for Plus members only; but I was going to give it the ol’ college try nonetheless.  I slipped in from a rather nasty day and quickly flashed my card at the greeter.

That’s when my covert operation came to a screeching halt…

cheezburger.com

“Can I see your card, please?”

“Oh, uh, yes, here it is.”

“This time is for Plus members only,” the Sam’s Club greeter said matter-of-factly.  “You’re going to have to come back at 10 a.m.”

“Oh, uh, I didn’t realize that,” I muttered as I turned to walk away, defeated.

I grumbled my way out the door. I can’t believe she wouldn’t let me in. It’s one measly hour. Doesn’t she realize how rainy it is and how much time it would save me if she would just let me in? I saw another woman leaving who had obviously met a similar fate; as we returned to our cars empty handed, we commiserated about our unfair treatment.

I was still grumbling as I left the parking lot.  The nerve of that lady not letting me in. Now what was I going to do for an hour before the next obligation took over my schedule? Arghhhh.

As I got onto the main road, my grumbling began to fade as a new thought emerged. It struck me how entitled I was feeling to something I had not earned and had not paid for in the first place. In fact, it sounded a lot like the beginnings of the ubiquitous national debt rhetoric: too many people letting too many others slide by—thus creating the economic mess in which we find ourselves. Homeowners felt entitled to a loan far higher than they could possibly repay.  Government entities both large and small felt entitled to more money and bent the rules to make it happen. Empty money continues to be printed to pay for the muddle. Too many people tried to slide by; and I just narrowly escaped joining the club.

Perhaps we all need a Sam’s Club greeter to be our conscience sometimes.  I know it certainly helped me.

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

I was reminded of our conversation when I walked into my husband’s workroom today. Living in an older home affords us the luxury of a laundry chute, and his workroom is the proud recipient of our laundry.  (Lucky room.)  Clearly it had been a few days since my last visit.

Holy Moses! Would you look at that mound? I promise you, it isn’t usually this bad. But then again, it’s certainly never as good as this Pinterest pin either. Oh to have the time and money and creativity to do everything I’d like to do! There’s always more to a story than meets the eye…and I sort of wonder what her workroom looks like (and, p.s., where did her laundry run off to?)  There’s reality…and then there are Pinterest pipe dreams.

Sometimes there is little place for reality on Facebook either—where everyone labors to put their best face forward. Sure, we post funny anecdotes about our kids and throw in the occasional rant for good measure; but we remain forever vigilant of the social eggshells for which we walk. As much as I truly love seeing family photos and baby pictures that leave me misty-eyed, there’s always more to a story than meets the eye, and I know from experience how many pictures it can take to earn that perfect photo. The digital age has ushered in the capability to leave reality in the dust—becoming far too easy to touch up a photo or simply hit delete and try again.

My daughter and I also had a talk about perception vs. reality recently. There is a boy in her class who landed himself in the principal’s office after hitting some kids on the playground. My rules-oriented firstborn wondered why he was acting up so much. It turns out that I know this boy’s mom quite well. She’s a wonderful woman of faith and has needed that faith all the more as she tries to help her son through some tough allergy issues. I tried to help my daughter walk in his shoes by reminding her how grouchy she feels when her body hurts and explained to her that his poor tummy hurts almost all the time—which could very well explain his misbehavior. Her eyes widened as she made the realization. There’s always more to a story than meets the eye.

Another place where this perception vs. reality issue can rear its ugly head is in blogs.  Reading blogs like going hands free or ditching Santa for far more important matters is a double-edged sword for me. They are good because they remind me of what I aspire to be (both in writing and in mothering); but they’re also bad because they remind me of what I am not—sending my mind down a subconscious landslide: I should totally be doing that with my kids, or this woman has REALLY got it together, or I wish I would have thought of that! And what does my mind do next? That’s right…it compares. And not only that, it compares my whole self (my strengths, my shadows, and my compulsions) with a tiny sliver of another woman’s self—namely, her best self. Forgetting that there’s always more to a story than meets the eye, I run a mental gauntlet of what she is and what I have not yet become.

Of course when I think about it, that’s the beauty of it all. I am constantly becoming. And I am constantly becoming in a completely unique and different way than everyone else. I may write about ways to spend more quality time with my kids or how I should use God’s talents for good in my life, but I have not arrived by any means! And neither have you.  And neither has anyone. There’s always more to a story than meets the eye, and I am excited to read my next chapter.

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

Amazon’s Kindle has become a familiar household term.  Whether you own one or not, you probably know a thing or two about this popular paperless product.

Or do you?

Test your knowledge of these three valuable tips:

Tip #1. You do not need to own a Kindle to read an e-book.

Not only can you get a Kindle app for nearly any smart phone on the market; did you know that you can also download a Kindle e-book straight to your computer? That’s right…after downloading the Kindle program onto your PC (free of charge), you can read Kindle e-books to your heart’s content. Did you ever pay attention to the green box in the top-right hand corner of the order screen? Me neither. Come to find out, it’s pretty handy.

Tip #2. You can send an e-book as a GIFT.

Whether you don’t feel like paying S&H to send a hard copy to a friend or you’re trying to save the planet one e-book at a time, now you have an alternative. Go ahead and send your family member or pal a Kindle version instead for about the same time it takes for you to share this blog on Facebook. All you need is your friend’s e-mail address, and chances are that’s easier to track down than your tv remote.  (Now you can dazzle your friends by sharing an e-book and trick #1 if they don’t currently own a Kindle.)

Tip #3. You can SAMPLE a Kindle e-book before you buy it.

If you aren’t completely positive you want to buy a particular novel or if you are unsure the self-help book you’ve been eyeing is really as good as it looks, have Amazon send you a sample.  You will receive about a 10% sampling of any e-book—which is more than you get using Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature.  It looks like you can read even more for free if you choose the “Kindle Cloud Reader” option. (Right below the “secret” green box on the order screen, you’ll see the magic “Send Sample Now” button.  Who knew getting a sample was as easy as 1, 2, 3.)

Bonus Tip #4. Milk Diaries is FREE on Kindle right now!

That’s right, my friends… for a limited time* you can download Milk Diaries for FREE. It’s my gift to you and any of your friends it could benefit.

• Wouldn’t it be awesome to equip expectant moms who want to breastfeed with practical, non-judgmental advice before their baby arrives?

• Wouldn’t it be awesome if this book could reach lactation consultants across the globe?  (OK… perhaps not lactation consultants like the one from the black lagoon you’ll read about in Milk Diaries.  Let’s stick to those who care about breastfeeding AND the moms who want to.  Deal?)

• Wouldn’t it be awesome if this book got into the hands of moms who need encouragement to keep nursing so they can reach their breastfeeding goals?  (I must admit the best compliment about Milk Diaries thus far has been from moms who said that if they had read this book, they probably would have hung in there longer.  That’s the reason I compiled the book in the first place!)

So could you do me a big favor and help me help other moms?  Use all of your new-found knowledge to “buy” a copy or send Milk Diaries to a friend today.  Just visit http://www.amazon.com/Milk-Diaries-ebook/dp/B0094O9JO6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1350873231&sr=8-2&keywords=milk+diaries to begin.  It’s free, it helps me spread the word, and it literally takes a minute.

Thanks!

* FREE Kindle e-book of Milk Diaries is available from Tuesday, October 23 through Saturday, October 27.

PS. Thank you, Amazon, for the use of your screenshots & 23 Lines Blogspot for the cute comic.

Linked up with Leslie at Simply Better today.

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

But there’s one aspect to the cooking process that gets me every time; and I can see that it has become a stumbling block to my writing and publishing process as well.

I’ll be following the directions—frolicking about the kitchen as I dice this and add that—when suddenly (dun dun dunnnnn) the term “meanwhile” rears its ugly head and abruptly stops me in my tracks. Meanwhile. Meanwhile? Meh? You’re telling me that while I’m dicing this and adding that I’m also supposed to be sautéing and mincing?
So much for my 30-minute recipe.

I’m afraid my first “whack” at the writing and publishing process has suffered a similar fate. My fingers will be frolicking across the keyboard as I edit this and social media that—when suddenly I am reminded of the host of other tasks I should be doing at the same time. I suppose if it were as easy as just writing, there would be far less manuscripts collecting dust in drawers (or moldering on hard drives, as one fellow writer put it) and more completed works on shelves.

So what’s a writer to do with all of the “meanwhiles?”  I have concocted the following plan for success:

Step 1, Assemble Your Ingredients

Creating a plan for your journey can be a process in and of itself. Before you begin making your “meal,” you need to assemble all of the “ingredients” you will need. The attached Plan, Publish, Promote Writing & Publishing Checklist from Cathy Davis, founder of Davis Creative and co-creator of the Plan, Publish, Promote Program, helped me determine—

• What ingredients I planned to use (the tasks that still needed to be done).
• What ingredients I had on hand (the tasks from the list I could complete myself).
• What ingredients I still needed to “buy” (the tasks or services I outsourced).

And for heaven’s sake, please make sure an editor is on your list of ingredients!

Step 2, Find a Cooking Partner

I suggest finding a good mentor or friend to keep you on track throughout the writing and publishing process. If it weren’t for my husband and a few good friends constantly asking me how the actual BOOK was coming, it may have been another five years before Milk Diaries found its way into print. My “cooking partners” were supportive, constructive, and fun to have along.

Step 3, Set the Timer

Nail down a realistic date that you would like to see your book in print. Doing this seemingly small yet significant step provides the perfect catalyst for action.  Better yet, set a book launch/signing party date if you really want to get your pen to paper in a hurry!

Step 4, Make a Meal Plan

Now that you have a date, you can plan the meal in detail to ensure you have accounted for all of the “meanwhiles” that may come your way. There is a FREE, easy-to-use program called Open Project that is much like Microsoft’s Project program that allows you to enter tasks you identified from Step 1 above and see how they all relate to one another. You can plug in recurring tasks such as blogging or checking a preferred social media site; long-term tasks such as actually writing the book (fancy that); as well as everything that you have to juggle in between. This allows you to visually map out your “meal” and take into consideration each and every “ingredient” involved.

Step 5, Enjoy Your Meal!

Having thoroughly prepared your “meal”—allowing it to simmer to perfection—you can now sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor—knowing you have done everything in your power to make your book both significant and successful.

Bon appétit!

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

During our younger (simpler) married days, Andy competed in criterium bike races. It was an exciting competition to watch as cyclists missed each other by mere inches while rounding tight street corners and racing their hearts out.  It was also exciting to watch cyclists succeed in moving their way up from Category 5 (novice or a bit rusty) to Category 1 (elite).  There was no question as to where competitors fit in the herd.  You earned your way up fair and square through passion, practice, and a great deal of perseverance.

Publishing a book seems to have a lot in common with crit racing—involving a great deal of passion, practice, and perseverance as well.  The analogy is only missing one rather important detail: crit racing has five categories of success, whereas writing only has one.  And of the 41,600,000+ books setting on Amazon’s virtual bookshelf, the possibility of reaching even a highly-coveted top 100 spot is fairly unrealistic.  In fact, you have a much better chance of getting struck by lightning…several times.  Sorry to burst your bubble.

So how does an author (not to mention an indie author) define success? How does an author know it was worth all the time and effort to write a book—even if it never attains bestseller status?

Mark Barrett says it well in his blog about The Successful Author. ”[The]…antidote to all this, of course, is defining success for yourself. And I don’t mean that as a trite observation. Rather, I mean you should have an actual conversation with yourself about this issue and define why you’re writing and what it is you hope to give and gain by linking words together.”

As I read between the lines of Barrett’s quote, the dissonance between success (change in my pocket) and significance (changing lives) becomes even more evident.  Of course I would love for Milk Diaries to be a success so I can feel like I’ve contributed to our family’s income (not to mention a little pet to my ego).  But ultimately, I hope that it has lasting significance—impacting moms who need help, guidance, and an extra dose of encouragement. Having known I helped someone is far more important.

Using the criterion bike racing model, I thought I would go out on a limb and share with you my own set of significance and success goals, (pipe) dreams, and aspirations in the hopes that it helps you develop your own. It’s important to develop goals and remind yourself of them constantly—especially when you’re riding the post-published book roller coaster!

Category 5 – My significance goal is to have at least two 4+ star reviews on Amazon or positive responses on Facebook or Twitter from people I do not know.  This would provide an objective confirmation that moms appreciate the information and encouragement enough to share their opinion with others—even if they do not know me personally.  My success goal is to sell 100 books through a combination of e-book and paperback sales.  This is the typical amount of books indie authors can expect to sell, and I certainly fit the description of “beginner” within the indie author category!

Category 4 – My significance goal is to receive at least five positive reviews or responses from people I do not know.  My success goal is to sell 200 books through a combination of e-book and paperback sales.

Category 3 – Receive 10 positive reviews or responses from people I do not know; sell 300 books.

Category 2 – Receive 15 positive reviews or responses from people I do not know; and inch my way to the top 20 on the pregnancy & childbirth book list.

Category 1 – Top 100 Bestseller list, baby!

What are your success goals?

What are your significance goals?

May the race be with you.

Success is not final; failure is not fatal.  It is the courage to continue that counts.

~ Winston Churchill

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

Why, you ask?  Because he delivered a box of dreams today.  He delivered 175 copies of a dream that has lasted well over three years now.  He delivered 175 copies of a dream that took over 30 voices to create. He delivered 175 copies of a dream that will hopefully reach millions of moms.  Specifically, he delivered 175 copies of Milk Diaries to my doorstep; and that is why I almost kissed him!  He was gone too quickly for any formal intros, let alone a big smooch, but I certainly was thankful he came with “the box” today.

For those of you who may not know, I made a little book for a friend who was becoming a lactation consultant a few years back.  It was filled with stories of several mutual friends’ breastfeeding trials, triumphs, encouraging words, and tons of good advice.  I thought it might help moms she would meet who were struggling in some way.  The more great stories I received, the more I thought that they would be a terrific encouragement to any mom who made the decision to breastfeed.  Over thirty stories later, that gift has evolved into the Milk Diaries: A compilation of practical, encouraging advice from the “real” breastfeeding experts.  I cannot thank my friends enough!

Here’s a little excerpt to get a taste for what it’s like: (Skim) Milk Diaries.

If you’re searching for the shower gift for an expecting mum, look no further. Milk Diaries is now available on Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle.  You can also visit Facebook or Twitter for more information.

Enjoy!

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

I cannot contain my excitement any longer!  For quite a few years now (seven to be exact) I have been compiling information for a book called Milk Diaries. You read that right… SEVEN years in the making. It all began when our very colicky first born baby* entered our lives. After a series of food trials, too many sleepless nights to remember, and a bout with low milk supply, I began chiding with Andy that, some day I was gonna write a book.  At the time I had no idea how true those words were. Nor did I realize how much raw data I had been collecting all the while.

A few years and two kids later, I had a friend in my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group who was studying to be a lactation consultant. I thought it would be a nice gesture to compile several moms’ breastfeeding stories into a booklet for her. I was overwhelmed by the response from my friends AND by the variety of stories I received.  Some stories were heart-breaking; others gave me a much-needed chuckle; still others provided wisdom I only wish I had known before my kiddos were born.  Combined, these stories, these voices, these hearts on paper made me realize just how much nursing moms need support and encouragement—regardless of how long they plan to nurse and regardless of what type of parenting choices they make regarding co-sleeping or crib sleeping; on-demand feeding or scheduled feeding (after the newborn phase is over); or anti-vaccination vs. pro-vaccination just to name a few.

After such a great turnout, I realized that if I could add a few more stories and expound on the experiences I encountered with my three favorite “test subjects,” I could actually help more than just one lactation consultant.  I could help moms all over!

And ”just” like that, a book was born.

I will leave the publishing process for future blogs.  I just wanted to start with how the book idea and writing process all began as well as encourage you to overcome your fears if you have a book in you crying to be born. There’s never been a better time.  And if you need an editor for your next endeavor, you know where to find me.

Oh, and if this subject appeals to you, just follow this Milk Diaries link to get more information (or visit my virtual bookstore when the book is in print or available on Kindle this summer)!

* I wanted you to know that there was a happy ending to our first-born’s colic (which, thankfully, was not repeated with our subsequent children).  It all but cleared up in four month’s time, and she is now one of the sweetest, most contented kids I know.

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

Last week, I began my blog with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, challenging you and I to do something every day that scares you.  And believe me, I am not usually that kind of girl.  Leading a cautious life where no one is offended and I don’t find myself on the fringe is much safer (albeit boring).

But in the spirit of practicing what I preach, I decided to get a little bold.  In my case, that meant contacting Mary DeMuth, an industry leader in writing and publishing, to see if she wanted to read some of my humbly draw-together words.  She had recently posted a blog about overcoming the fear of failure that lended itself well to a piece I had written but not yet posted; and I wondered if she might take a look.

Butterflies were dancing a jig (nah… more like headbanging) in my stomach as I sent the message.  Speaking of fear of failure!  I was certain she would pass it off to her e-mail slush pile with little more than a “that’s nice” response you give someone when you’re far from interested in anything they’re saying.

I eagerly awaited her reply nonetheless. And after hitting the “refresh” button in my inbox nearly 30 times, it finally arrived.  Hey Mikey, she liked it!  She actually liked it so much that she  asked if I wanted to be a guest blogger for the Bestseller Society blog (a new place for writers to gain valuable tips, get reviews, and gain wisdom from industry leaders).

Well, twist my wrist.

Here you can read my guest blog “appearance” I call Writer’s Remorse.  Ever feel that way?

A small step?  Absolutely.  But sometimes the smallest of steps, when woven together, become your biggest accomplishments.  I guess I should get out of my comfort zone more often.  It was certainly good practice in anticipation of publishing my debut book, Milk Diaries, this summer… the sort of experience I can look back on and remember when fear of failure rears its ugly head.

(And, by the way, if getting out of your comfort zone ever requires a second set of eyes, you know where to find me.)

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.

I really like this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, who was no stranger to anxiety and overcoming fears.    I’ve been taking her advice to heart lately through chasing my dream of “writing a book some day.”

You may notice my blog taking a detour of sorts soon, a detour I hope will encourage aspiring writers and expectant mommies alike.  You haven’t seen the last of some teachable moments I’ve learned from my kiddos; but in addition to those I’m honing in on some other business I’ve been working on behind the scenes, namely, my writing and publishing adventures.

I am amazed at the number of friends who have recently come out of the woodwork—wanting to write or publish a book but not knowing where to begin.  Having freshly poured over so many aspects of the publishing world, I hope to help others forge their path.  It is no accident that expert follows closely after experience in the dictionary, and I hope that by sharing my experiences we can all become experts in the process.

And if you know of any new or expectant mommies, they’ll be in for a treat through gleaning a little sneak peek into my debut book, Milk Diaries, full of advice and encouragement I could have certainly used before my first bundle arrived.  (Facebook Fan Page coming soon!)

If you’ve ever dreamed of writing a book, here’s the opportunity to follow your dreams!

(And if your dreams include tracking down an editor, you’ve come to the right place.  I’d love to hear more about your upcoming project and how I can help.)

Perspectives Writing & Editing - Professional writing, editing, & proofreading service blog.