Brad Pete

Le Smitten Me

2012-01-29T00:18:00.000+08:00

Lisa Mitchell - Romeo and Juliet

Producer VS Director

2012-01-27T01:28:00.001+08:00

I've learnt a few things creating our amazingly thrashy, but incredibly hilarious ORD video.

1. It's harder being a director than producer. Of course there isn't any hard or fuss rules about the job-scope of a director or producer, but conventionally, doing this budget video, it made me realize it is harder to be on the set inspiring people with your artistic vision of the film than doing the administrative matters.

2. You need to be convicted about your filming before any execution. There is no point filming if everyone is not convinced that the film is going to work out perfectly. In fact for this film, we had a few people brainstorming for scenes to film. We had our little disputes about which scene might be a little try-too-hard-wannabe, or easy-to-say-but-hard-to-film, but I am really glad we came up with a common consensus of the scenes and did whatever we plan (or at least we are half-way there).

It was useful that we had charismatic members in our team who could convince others about the hilarity and epic-ness of our scenes. People who could make mountains out of molehills, and lead people to the promise land of '33 is a hilarious bunch of sluts'.

3. You should never have a mentality of 'aiyah never mind lah, later you can always edit the video'. Such mentality always leads to lousy filming.

4. I actually enjoy doing motion graphics. I mean I have never realized that. I have always thought motion graphics is an art that is too difficult to master. And me being me, I am too lazy to learn that.

Not like I am any better now, but watching myself creating amateur motion graphics (and some borrowed presets from video copilot lol) gives me a sense of achievement. I am not trying to be humble here (hahahahaha), but I really enjoy learning this. And on my free time nowadays, I usually open After Effects on my computer to work on the ORD videos like how anyone will log into Garena for a game of DOTA. Geek I know.

5. People who can act, and direct and freaking awesome. My little experience being in one of the scenes just made me realize how I hate knowing that someone is filming my every action. I can't really be myself, but yet I have to act natural? How is that even possible?

And so I respect people like Tom Hanks who are directing, and acting awesomely. I would have include Jack Neo, but let's just say his already forgotten scandal is the cause of his lack of talent hahaha.

6. I know our video might turn out a little amateurish, but I am actually assured it will work out fine on 29 February 2012. People will still laugh and comment that it is epic because this is 33rd Batch. We dig the thrashy stuff. All we have to do is to jeep (aka humiliate by insulting) and everyone will burst into fits of laughter.

I know we will try our best -- to not be overly thrashy, but yet not boring and long winded.

CNY 2012

2012-01-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

Cafe Iguana @ Clarke Quay

So because my new resolution for 2012 is to never go to Chinatown/River Ang Bao during the whole Chinese New Year, our yearly affair on the eve was shifted to a very humble Mexican Bar called Cafe Iguana at Clarke Quay. We were there at happy hour (after 11pm) and order a-lot-cheaper Strawberry Margarita - which interestingly was blended with ice, and tacos that was able to fill sufficiently for 6. We talked about our recent ambitions, and drinking boo-boos stories (hahahahaha).

I'll definitely be back there after 11pm!

Mundane Updates

2012-01-25T11:50:00.002+08:00

Now you said, 'Oh Romeo, yeah I used to have a scene with him.'

It's a Wednesday, and I am quite glad I am home listening to Dire Straits. Chinese New Year holiday was just yesterday and it treated me quite well. I walked home yesterday hoping this holiday ambience will hang in the air a little longer.

So that's that. Life goes on normal and I have a video to complete. (Argh, hate updating about my life like a journal hahahahahahaha)

Beings in Solitude Cont.

2012-01-23T14:12:00.000+08:00

'Many people say we experience
infancy twice in our lifetime.'

Life moves in a cycle. And as much as I hate to admit it, it moves in a vicious cycle - consuming us and catching us at our most vulnerable moments. I know there are optimistic viewpoints to aging (like how we can age beautifully), but sometimes I feel that optimism could be an unspoken escapism some choose to employ in their life.

As I watch my aunt hook my grandma's arms to display assurance of someone close and familiar, I can't help but see a visual juxtaposition of infancy. In my visual imagery, there are two videos playing simultaneously. On the left side, it shows my grandmother looking after the younger version of my aunt when she was sick. And on the right side, I see the current state of my grandma and aunt. At the intersection of the two videos, I will place the word 'Infancy' in white, and lower the opacity a little.

But as I construct this video in my mind, I realized this imagery is as real as it gets. It isn't a documentary that attempts to capture real life situations -- this is life.

One day, I will lose every single fragment of my memory. And the only memories that I will be able to keep are those that are closely knitted to my heart. I wonder what will I remember then. But what I'd really wish happen is that there'd be someone to hold my hand to assure me that I am not alone

Identity Crisis

2012-01-22T04:16:00.000+08:00

{one}

At 21, I face a great revelation: we are all beings in solitude.

One day we find a group of close-bonded friends, and the next we are caught off guard with the passing life. We can never be 'in the moment', freezing time as we have wished. We're just people moving forward in time-lapse and slowing down at random moments. It's like as if a motion-graphic artist intends to insert an artist impression of life, so he puts in all the time-lapse and then artistically slows down at random moments -- but what he doesn't know is that he is also a flawed individual and can never paint such a picture perfectly.

It's liberating to know that ultimately, we're soul mates to our own beings.

{two}

We behave differently in different social settings. In one place, we might be Pete the awkward but in another Pete the joker and in another, Pete the friend-zoned. Yet the fact is we mirror others, and at the same time allow others to mirror us. We form group identities instinctively and we immediately embrace our identities. The Slut batch, Hardcore Clubbers, IMMA-Social-Smoker, Twilight Gang etc. But really, what exactly is our identity? Who are we fundamentally without any social settings, and when we are #foveralone at home?

Chao Geng

2012-01-21T12:39:00.000+08:00

It's always an irony how I try to chao geng, and then end up with the exact same sickness I lied about. It is indeed God's way of telling me to stop lying and attend to the most mundane matters of life like how a real man would lol.

I slept for 20 hours yesterday straight (except for one hour in between spent on dinner and doctor's consultation) and only ate 1 meal in 24 hours. This diarrhea of some sorts isn't exactly the kindest one.

And for the record, the blandness of taste buds never fails to bring me back to the decision I made 2 years back.

Never Good At Such Belligerence

2012-01-17T17:39:00.000+08:00

Collecting music like it is my hobby. It is similar to childish stamp collection. I lie on my bed, go onto Indieshuffle and play folk, ambient, and indie-rock playlists, try to find out new uprising artistes and feel highly accomplished.

I want to catch a film -- maybe that weird French movie called Artist where the whole film is set in the 1950s with no conversations. The smell of the theatre, with a tinge of burnt caramel scent (the same smell when I drink Yeo's Wintermelon Tea and smell my lips) will surely put me to great ease. The darkness and forged solitutde in a theatre also helps. I had a sudden revelation and amazement for the forged solitude a theatre can create. Isn't it weird and amazing that a hundred people can sit through silently through a movie without actually having to communicate with one another?

At age 21, I still struggle at belligerence - and particularly those that creates 9gag 'that awkward moment when...' posts.

Friday Morning

2012-01-13T10:54:00.001+08:00

Friday morning and I was lost in a sea of crowd. People rushing for nothingness. Nonchalance and a sense of normalcy when you knock onto someone accidentally, as if it was already expected on a weekday in Raffles Place.

Friday morning and I was lost despite iPhone's Googlemaps. Good job Pete.

Friday morning and I wads lost in bewilderment of branding companies, Ogilvy and Mather, and The Brand Union. The reception area was highly mysterious -- a dark and cozy ambient filled with mirrors and reflections. Reality vs Virtual. Although I have been highly against design powerhouses like these, I am thinking of changing my mind lol. I don't know if I should choose Kilo or Brand Union -- but who knows because I didn't get a positive reply from Brand Union yet.

Friday morning and the day seems to be blossoming in a most beautiful fashion because it will be a fruitful day.

Comfort Food

2012-01-09T10:37:00.001+08:00

I think it takes great comfort to know that when you speak huge design jargons and people actually do understand. When you speak about Ee Shaun and controversial Loo Zi Han, recognizing typefaces from Bebas to Century Gothic, and having weird verbal experiments of recognizing Arial when you use Helvetica as the typeface -- it is great you don't have to get awkward stares reminding you are a geek in that way lol.

Sorry for Vagueness

2012-01-07T09:30:00.001+08:00

I had a meet up with my pre-college classmates and it was an awkwardly good time. It was the usual routine like old times -- speaking about college life, and gossiping about school mates. Yet somehow, I have idealized for something better. We spoke about the superficiality of our current lives for an hour, and then rushed for another appointment with companions we are more comfortable with.

It made me ponder. We used to hang around in school in the past. Although we weren't like bees and honey, but in a mere span of 3 years lives move on, and we were forced to forsake old ties that were forged and made new friends. And after college graduation, the whole cycle repeats. #firstworldwoes.

I hold firm to my belief of justice. And if justice fails to prevail, sometimes my pride and selfishness do surface a little more obviously. But a certain incident in the recent made me realize that stepping up on the losing end could be actually the right thing to do.

I admire individuals who stepped up, but somehow to me, if I did volunteer but isn't willing fundamentally, it could be an act of self righteousness.

Maybe I do think too much lol.

Normalcy

2012-01-04T22:44:00.002+08:00

I like Sigur Ros, and they have become increasingly commercial with their collaboration with We Bought a Zoo. Hahaha, would like to be the indie music person who listens to them when they weren't popular.
*
It is good that I am lying in bunk right now doing absolutely nothing because it brings me back to normalcy. Normalcy is good. Yeah it is.
*
Today, I walked around Toa Payoh Central in search for Popiah. I googled 'Toa Payoh Popiah' and got a contact to one store in central and called in a desperate attempt only to realize it was someone else's number. However, the google link had a pathetic picture of the shop so, Sandy and I went on a treasure hunt in search of one roll of Popiah. It was a good Tuesday afternoon.
*
I haven't slept till my muscles relax to the point where it feels uncomfortable for a while now. It feels like I just had double dosage of cough mixture mismatched with shots of liquor.
*
It is good I am lying in bunk.

Bundung Imagery

2011-12-30T12:27:00.003+08:00

This is a visual imagery.

A cup of iced rose syrup and an individual pours condensed milk over it. The milk dances through the rose syrup elegantly, but it plagues the original rose color of the water. There is no turning back, and the water forever remains that color, and exudes a different fragrance.

I'm back from Hatyai, Thailand. And I did enjoy myself.

Things to do today includes:

1. ~~Absolutely nothing, but unfortunately I can't.~~

2. Write Christmas cards hahahahahaha.

3. Go for a run of a lifetime because my stamina is as non existence as North Korea's capitalist economy.

4. Watch movies #likeaboss (gosh the hashtag syndrome is hitting me hahahahaha)

History is an Unreliable Certainty Produced

2011-12-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

I recalled an episode during my trip when a roll of film tore while I was unrolling it. And because I wasn't aware of that, I opened the film box and exposed the film. There goes the two most eventful day of my trip lol. I was devastated initially, because those were the tangible memories encapsulated into a stop-motion picture.

But I realized what makes trip wasn't exactly the pictures, but the memories every individual handpicks to remember. And these memories might not be the most objective ones that features every single hurt and joy accurately, but they are handpicked by each individuals to remember. We hold the destinies of our memories.

Coincidentally, I was reading Booker Prize The Sense of an Ending, and he was speaking about memories. Julian Barnes puts it so aptly,

"When you are young, you think you can predict the likely pains and bleakness that age might bring. You imagine yourself being lonely, divorced, widowed; children growing away from you, friends dying. You imagine the loss of status, the loss of desire -- and desirability. You may go further and consider your own approaching of death, which, despite what company you may muster, can only be faced alone. But all this is looking ahead. What you fail to do is look ahead, and then imagine yourself looking back from that future point. Learning the new emotions that time brings. Discovering, for example, that as the witnesses to less certainty, as to what you are or have been. Even if you have assiduously kept records -- in words, sound, pictures -- you may find that you have attended to the wrong kind of record-keeping. What was the line Adrian used to quote? 'History is that certainty produced at the point where the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation.'"

We humans are so manipulative -- even to ourselves. Self-denial and forgetfulness is just instinct.

*

I have many idealistic plans for other trips but as for now, I have another trip to Hatyai, Thailand, in about 6 hours. I do miss lazing at home doing absolutely nothing but eat. But I guess I will have to kick my ass for this trip (hahahaha, omg totally sounds like I am asked to do assignments or something) because I know I will enjoy it at its finale with such an awesome company. It's just I would like to have some alone time for movies, food, exercise. Haha!

2011-12-17T19:25:00.001+08:00

There's something within that compels me to realign certain priorities I've altered selfishly. It's not that I am not enjoying my holiday, but immersing myself in economies that isn't as fortunate as mine just brings about an age old question I used to ponder daily. I have initially remained in a state of stagnancy, and then a transiting state of nonchalance for this stagnancy, and finally numbness. Maybe there really is something more worthy to be praised.

Blend tastebuds once, again. And it just reminds me of nothingness caused by self-centeredness.

When I go through my life without any purpose, I feel like I am merely a dead log floating in open seas -- aimless. I can't seem to adjust back to normalcy.

Whispered subconscious words to wrong parties -- but those were yesterdays. And now I see a little clearer, and I am thankful.

Vietnam Day Minus One

2011-12-15T20:06:00.002+08:00

I am honestly fat-boy-eats-epic-meal-time's-meal kinda excited. I don't know why this excitement -- because honestly I did have my doubts about this trip. I had initially idealized this trip as an epic one with a company of at least five. Yet, when it was finalized it was only a conservative company of 3 (including myself) from #02-10 lol! We need some spontaneous party freaks hahahahaahaha.

But after looking through itineraries and planning the trip, I have painted another idealized trip of trekking through fields of autumn hues, experiencing cultures (that might be tainted by tourism lol), and canoeing through hugeass rocks and caves. And not forgetting incredible weather of average 20 degree celsius.

Block Leave Day 2

2011-12-14T11:16:00.001+08:00

Things to do today:

1. Storyboard for publicity

2. Publicity

3. Plan for Sa Pa

4. Pack bag for Vietnam

5. Watch One Day

#firstworldwoes

2011-12-13T13:56:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of being in my own self-absorbed world.

I hate always wanting things to be on the go -- I can't wait, and I am silently screaming at the top of my mental lungs for things to move quicker. I hate how I log into Facebook when I need to fill that gap of nothingness and view pictures of people in Zouk drinking shots of tequila in their own self-absorbed world. I hate how everything around me tells me to be self-absorbed -- the advert on every bus to lure me into their products so I can feel better about myself.

And this reminds me of an episode between Phoebe and Joey from Friends. They were having a typical nonsensical conversation about selfless deeds. And Joey was like, "There is no such thing as a selfless good deed." because when you do something good, you feel good about yourself. Hahahaha, as much as this sounds nonsensical, there are some truths in it.

And because of that, I do believe we can never forge sympathy, nor empathy. Selfless is probably an extreme we cannot reach, but we should attempt to.

Kairos Camp

2011-12-09T18:13:00.001+08:00

Be gone 9th-11th December 2o11, if anyone really cares hahahahaha!

Trololol

2011-12-08T15:45:00.003+08:00

1. Boredom at its max. Lying in bed the whole day and doing particularly nothing but trying to fall asleep.

2. Writing in point form because (if you use an iPhone you will know) it requires a lot more effort and time to put your text alignment as center.

3. I am sick of my iPod music, I am literally listenin to non Jay Chou's chinese music.

4. I wanna play Craft Mine mainly because it is in pixels, and because it is such an indie game lol.

5. Guilt catches you at the most unexpected fashion. It's a very queer emotion because nothing can deter it from affecting your very being. While denial helps in the short-term, Guilt will continue to hunt you in deliberate waves, and questioning your flawed character. At every wave that you choose to indulge in denial, Guilt will hit you harder the next wave. So the best is to conceit defeat, and humble yourselves before the almight Guilt.

6. I can't wait for Hanoi and Hatyai in a few weeks.

7. I hope I will be accepted into design internship.

8. Blah.

These Legs Are Not Mine

2011-12-04T21:22:00.004+08:00

I actually have no intentions what-so-ever to write anything about Standard Chartered Marathon, because honestly there is nothing much to talk about except how insanely miserable it was. I sure wouldn't join a full marathon again...

Despite how much I do enjoy long distance leisure running, 42 km is just blah and a self-psycho game. "These legs are not mine". And I shall continue my leisure 16km run and remain eternally contented in it hahahaha.

I should go back lying in bed, listening to good chill music and play Sentinel 2 on my iPhone.

(Premature) ORD LO!

2011-12-02T14:47:00.006+08:00

The long awaited end to our (more than successful) Final Mission Profile is somewhat a premature liberation from military life. This means our imbal 14 days leave will come very soon, and then Christmas, New Year, Lunar New Year, and eventually the official ORD in February we have looked forward to since April 2010.

And so this mini liberation manifested into many late nights partying, watching Victor rocking to synthetic syncs, mahjung, steamboat-that-had-better-attendance-than-zouk, and ORD briefing.

I don't know if I echo similar sentiments, but it isn't exactly ORD that I look forward to, but it is the tangible liberation from doing shit sai kang and just lepaking in bunk doing absolutely nothing, and have endless canteen breaks until it shows on our waistlines.

Yet, I know when the day ORD comes, there will be this bittersweet sentiment lingering. I sure will miss having 5 people squeezing in my single sized bed listening to music and just talking cock. And I think I will feel a little lost initially, like a part of my life was forcefully removed. There will sure be days I muse over the absurd nonsense we accomplish and smile sillily to myself lol.

And I understand that this is life, so I sure will treasure the last three months of shit from 33 Batch lol. Seriously, ORD is overrated.

Weakness VS Strength

2011-11-24T01:11:00.002+08:00

I almost forgot how much I hate arrogance and elitist mindset.

It kept me silent for hours. Why silence? Sadly, the very reason was because I didn't want to be judge as incompetent, or plain blur by the leader. And despite how much I detested the leader, I somehow yearned for somewhat an acceptance to be zai, or competent in my responsibilities. Maybe because I looked up to the leader in other ways. Was it his charisma? Or his ability to solve problems confidently, and efficiently? I can't really recall lol.

And because I couldn't keep up with the chart of expection the leader sets, I chose to remain silent. I exert my strength in a negative light to show that I am capable in other ways. I refuse to do the works the leader commands to, and even if I am obliged to, I never give my best. The weakness in my work displays the strength of my character.

Mundane, but Realistic

2011-11-20T13:12:00.004+08:00

It's Sunday, and on my hands I have a few things to accomplish:

1. NDU Corporate Video
2. Kairos Camp Games design
3. Apply for internship

And there are other ambitious things I also want to achieve:

1. Zheng my portfolio -- especially in the ambiguous copywriting about my capabilities lol.
2. Run 16km today at least.
3. Christmas gift(s)

4. Watch Griff the Invisible

5. Music download spree

6. First World Woe

Since we are on the topic of accomplishments and design, I have started looking for internship and have sent out probably at least 40 emails to companies pleading for internship opportunities. Hahahaha, unfortunately, I failed quite horribly. No one's fault really. Because I was blinding shooting arrows to companies without knowing their job scope, style, and vision etc. And in fact, I wasn't really sure I want to do during a few of internship -- editorial, branding, advertising or what? And of course, there were some companies like Lomography (sadly, no need for a design team locally), Asylum, Kult, and Juice Magazine that I wanted to embark an internship on. But haven't received any response as yet. The other companies that I sent to includes powerhouses like Saatchi & Saatchi, DDB, and in fact, I actually considered emailing Pixar and Dreamworks lol!

This whole saga just brought a load whole confusion into my mind. I started out designing as a hobby -- it's like my weekend alibi to slacken off academic obligations. I never thought then that I could use this skill as my rice bowl. Design was like my Counterstrike, my DOTA and Sims over the weekend. Yet now, I am desperately branding myself, displaying a myriad of works to employers so that they deemed I am acceptable and profitable for their cause. I never wanted that to happen to my hobby.

But I guess I've gotta move on, try to find a meaning in this because honestly, there is not much room to turn back time lol. I will try to find some sort of liberation in this corporate, manipulative, commercial world where everything is about capitalism, and yet be able to create something beautiful.

And right about now, I should take a bath and start work. Hello Sunday!

Romeo and Juliet

2011-11-12T20:41:00.005+08:00

You are the Forsaken I tossed into the attic months back. Why? I couldn't remember. Probably because I was bored, and thought life should be less than this. It should have been conventional, mundane and not like a pack of fluffy clouds. It should be practical, self-centered and emotional. Stupid I know, but I don't know, it is more fashionable to live that way somehow. It's how the norm should be -- it's how warm blooded real life homosapians live.

I was on top of the world. And there was an absurd thought that engulfed my mind. But that pathetic remnant of consciousness was the only gel to sanity, and I thank God for that. The Killers was the playlist for the night, and I was singing 'oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him'. I was assertive that night. I spoke with authority and made sure everyone heard what I spoke.

Oh, I made a Bangalah whale too.