For those of you who sat at home on Saturday night watching X Factor… firstly, what were you thinking? It's Saturday night for shit sake! but secondly, you're about to re-live an hilarious jaw dropping moment when two young girls walked on stage as seemingly sweet but left as full blown chav bitches…

Now lets just make one thing clear, I'm not a fan of X Factor, only the first few auditions where you see all the freakshows and remind yourself just how lucky you are to be of a sound mind.

Meet Abyssmal Ablisa, comprising of what now seems to be two ex-BFF's, Abbey Johnston and Lisa Parker. These two clowns walked on stage giggling together in a rather annoying kind of way saying stuff like "We just, like, wanna live the dream," 18-year old Abbey said. "We just wanna get on the stage, be ourselves, show our personalities." and ja, it wasn't before long that they really did show those personalities… in full force of course…

Have a look see

Howz that for a chick punch hey! haha

Well my friends, there you have it, no matter how well you disguise a chav, they will always shine through

For some strange reason, I'm actually glad their mother's were there to see the disgraces they'd raised, they must be so proud  

I couldn't agree with Simon more…

Now that's entertainment, X Factor with a Jerry Springer "touch"

Simon!!! Simon!!! Simon!!!, does it have the same ring to it? 

- Marky Mark

When days are stressful there is no better cure than to have a little squizz and see what our dear friend Whackhead Simpson has been up to lately… and this one along with all the rest deserves a post on PharSide…

Now in this fresh prank, Whackhead has touched on a subject that I'm all too familiar with… working in a call center…

When I first came over to the UK, I worked on a technical support helpdesk for a company called Evesham Technologies in Evesham, which built computers for the general british public and I shit you not, I can tell you some stories. People say I have the patience of a saint, well it was because of this job that you either mastered the art of patience or you would soon enough be hanging yourself with your telephone chord. To give you an idea, I once had to talk an elderly couple through a two hour reload of Windows with full driver install, over the phone… now did I mention that the elderly man was deaf and the elderly lady was blind, no lies, I'm sure you can now feel my pain. There was one thing that all us geeks learnt very quickly when we were there, and that was the golden rule of ALWAYS making sure the dumbass customer was properly on hold before launching into your very vocal tyrade of insanity… too let off some steam ofcourse, and never put your finger over the mic, they will still hear you! Many a techie has failed with this… not me of course, because I'm that good  

Now this is what this prank entales… not checking that the DFU (Dumb Fucking User) on the other end is in fact on hold…

Enjoy!

Whackhead… as long as you have a phone and a mic… you will always make my day!

Check out for Friday's Time Bandits this week for more of Whackhead's ingenious pranks

Did I mention he's a Pinetown boy just like your's truly… no wonder he's awesome!

- Marky Mark

"Can I get two fur burgers with extra burger sauce, two super size titties and a little cream pie on the side please?" Yip, thats kinda what its gonna be like in Zurich, Switzerland with new brand spanking new Drive-In Sex-Boxes…

You know we have our "Only In SA" stuff… well Europe has its "Only In Europe" stuff too, and it usually involves sex.
Those of you that have spent a weekend in Amsterdam will know full well what I'm talking about, and I ain't talking about Coffee Shops either.

Residents in neighbourhoods surrounding Zurich's red light district have pretty much had enough of the free live sex shows that they usually get to see in broad daylight in cars on the side of the road etc, that they have called on the government to do something about…

There's no chance the government would ban prostitution, no way! this is Europe for crying out loud so the they thought they'd try and control it, somewhat. Now who do you think they asked for help? c'mon, when you think of this country you instantly think Porn… yip, they asked zee Germans… and this is what zee Germans recommended since they have a few of their own that apparently work quite well…

Voila! zee Sex Box!

It's like a hourly rate motel where you don't even need to step out of your car!

A Police spokesman Reto Casanova (yes thats he's real name, people in those parts are actually born with porn star names) said: 'We can't get rid of prostitution, so have to learn how to control it.'

They need to set up a couple of these down on Point Road in Durban that's for sure…

Now we know why Wayne Rooney couldn't give two shits about jetting off to Switzerland in the middle of his fresh new sex scandal… he's going to try out zee Sex Box!

- Marky Mark

Now don't these pics spark off a few fond memories of the old days where us 20-30 somethings didn't have to worry about things like "responsibilty" and pretty much everything else for that matter… Life wasn't about getting wasted and hooking up with chicks… chicks were the enemy and smoking cigarettes was hardcore…

These should take you back… waaaay back…

And to think two of those R1 coins used to last me a week at the tuck shop when I was at hostel

This separated the winners from the losers at primary school, and I don't mean because they had an advantage in Maths either…

Ja, cassette tapes is to us as 8 Track is to our ballies… Ryan Morris has one on him 24/7

I think even in our time, if you had one of these you were definately from Brakpan 

Now we'll all remember the top two, but I've only ever seen a R1 note once

I don't even wanna know what one stamp costs these days

Those colours were quickly changed in 1994 for obvious reasons

For most this is what you saw late at night in the days before MNET rocked up on the scene, but if you were lucky enough to spent most of your childhood in the Berg like myself, this was late night TV

[Thanks Carl]

- Marky Mark

Check it this Friday's dose of time bandits to kill your longest hour on a Friday afternoon, that one right before the bell…

- Marky Mark

The Top 10 Finalists in each category of the 2010 SA Blog Awards have been nominated thanks to all you loved ones.
Now before I get right into the guts of this whole thing, let me just tell you that I was completely shocked and surprised at the outcome… do read on…

Now since Friday evening I've been anxiously checking out the SA Blog Awards website for a glimpse of the results. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday., nails virtually bitten down to the cuticles, I hate being kept in suspense, what were the judges putting me through, yeah it's my first time I know but then on Wednesday at around lunch time I checked the website expecting to get the usual "Nominations are now closed" ne ne ne babble that I'd seen for days, but then, caught totally off guard, there was a change on the page, there they were in all their glory, the Top 10 Finalists in each category… instantly I scurried down the page scanning it like a frickin bar code reader for the 'The Best Overseas South African Blog' finalists, and there it was PharSide.co.uk with a nice little vote button next to it, an uncontrollable smile appeared on my face, kinda like the face Ewan McGregor pulls when he has a hit of a very bad substance in the movie Trainspotting. I had my fix and damn it felt good So after my little moment I scrolled down to check if I made it into the "Best New Blog" category just incase, sadly not but at least I'd made it into the one I'd been gunning for which was awesome! I then started scrolling up to see who had made it into what, and that's when I arrived at the 'The Exclus1ves Best Entertainment Blog' category… Now let me tell you that, eyes like saucers and falling off the back of my chair is an extreme understatement in its purest form of what it was really like, because there it was, another PharSide.co.uk with a nice little vote button next to it. I think I muttered the words for this abbreviation, WTF in extreme slow motion at that moment. I couldn't believe it, this was totally unexpected, this was the category I chose because I couldn't find another suitable category and selected it "just for shits 'n giggles", not because I think PharSide is shit, but purely because I'm a bit of a realist and knew fully well that this would be a bit out of my league due to the awesome well established blogs that have stood the test of time I'd seen out there, who'd pat my puppy head if I'd ever met their owners in person.  This was insane, it dawned on me that I am now up head to head with two of my favourite blogs, namely Bangers and Nash and 2OceansVibe, the latter being the inspiration that kickstarted this whole thing I call, PharSide. To say I feel slightly honoured is an absolute joke…

So the voting round is now in play which runs until the 17th September, and I don't think I need to remind you who to vote for by clicking this link…

Here's my take on how I reckon the final rankings are going to unfold and why… you need to vote for these mkay!

-The Exclus1ves Best Entertainment Blog -

1st Place: 2OceansVibe – Like I said I'm a realist, Seth is well established, he works frickin hard at it, has an awesome vibe and he does have the best blog in SA as far as I'm concerned, as long as he's in the tub, from 2nd place and down is its own compo.

2nd Place: Bangers and Nash – because he's awesome, very different, very original and also has an awesome vibe… not mention he wants to live up to his bedroom mantra by always coming second as seen here.

3rd Place: PharSide.co.uk – Because you know it has to happen, 3rd place is even better than 1st or 2nd, I'm like the guy that walks in on two hot blonde lesbians in a porno… he ALWAYS comes 3rd and has the most fun …and just for the record, no I am not referring to Seth and Nash as two hot blonde lesbians… geez c'mon people!

- The Best Overseas South African Blog - 

1st Place: PharSide.co.uk - Because thats life and thats the way things are, plus as an added extra, since the Republic of Cape Town dominates the Blog Awards, being a Durban boi is pretty much classified as being Overseas anyway… so I'm not just doing this for my London crowd, but all my rocking Durban crowd aswell! 

- The Best Indigenous Language Blog - 

1st Place: WatKykJy – because Griff and co are everything that the new generation Afrikaaner stands for and I like it.

Sadly I don't see my boys from Woelag in there but in all fairness, they blerrie well should be!

The final Blog Of The Year Award is open game

So gang, thats may take whats what, so get those clicky fingers ready and vote away, you can start right here

btw…On the 17th September, PharSide will be one year old (seriously, what a coincidence, check back when the first post was), votes and cash donations are accepted as birthday presents

Just want to say a huge thanks to every single one of you for getting PharSide this far in the game, you are all absolutely AWESOME! Your continued support is what drives this whole thing and very much appreciated! Now give yourself a nice little pat on the back

Laters

- Marky Mark

It's been a quiet week yes I know, but I have been quite the busy bee of late… offline that is, the fruits of which you all shall reap in the not to distant future… but just to get you back into the vibe, how better to do that with a little taster of what's to come from our little extraordinaire's… GOLDFISH!

If you follow the Fishies on Twitter you will no doubt know that GoldFish are on the brink of unleashing awesomeness yet again with their 3rd album, Get Busy Living…

Now just to get you all a little moist, check out this sample of the first single of the same name, Get Busy Living

Get busy living featuring Emily Bruce (Radio edit) webclip by Goldfishlive

Awesome stuff!

On a bit of a sad note, GoldFish were supposed to headline on the Friday for the this years Toast Festival in Clapham Common… sadly the entire festival has now been postponed until June 2011 which is a bit of a bummer since I know loads of us were looking forward to seeing the Fishies live… but who knows, maybe they could make a plan for a one off London show for their fans… just saying

P.S. if you wanna listen to the whole track, have a little listen to 2OceansVibe Radio with my boy Seth at http://www.2ov.fm/

- Marky Mark

Check out this week's Friday Time Bandits to help pass that final hour before all hell breaks loose!

Trevor Noah – comedian – 3min clip for those who miss Cape Town

Helen Zille (Democratic Alliance) gets pranked by Leon Schuster

Whackhead phones a very observant man

Letterman – Stupid Pet Tricks: Playing Dead

Dogs Home Alone

Jim Jefferies: I Swear To God – Studs/S**ts

Email Videos for Friday Time Bandits to informer@pharside.co.uk 

- Marky Mark

There's an imposter about posing as Danger Boy… girls beware, he's a fake, he's not "the real deal"

The other day I was checking out Facebook and I noticed Danger Boy had been tagged in a photo, only on closer inspection, it wasn't in fact Danger Boy… it was an imposter, posing and trying to be our beloved Danger Boy!

The REAL Danger Boy… looking ever so dangerous… thats the real deal "Danger Stare" aka "The Panty Dropper Stare" that many a girl has fallen victim of right there!… some say, he has the ability to remove panties with just a thought!

The imposter! otherwise known as Anthony Hutton. Rumour has it that in a desperate attempt to be as cool as Danger Boy he won some UK TV show called Big Brother in 2005… notice how he tries to pull off the "Danger Stare" but fails miserably… so fake!

If you see the imposter, let us know!

Sadly many girls are only realising the imposter is a fake after climbing into bed with him, due to the imposter's weenie being a good 5 inches shorter than Danger Boy's Anaconda

- Marky Mark

A lot of love has been shown to PharSide over the last week, from interviews in The South African Newspaper to Cape Town blog, Bangers and Nash giving you his blessing to nominate PharSide in the SA Blog Awards… 

If you picked up your copy of The South African newspaper here in London last week Tuesday, you may have seen something a little familiar on page 11… yip, The PharSide logo and my ugly mug sprawled out across the page with a nice little interview to go with it where we spoke about how PharSide came about, all the way through to the SA Blog Awards. If you missed it, have a little read

Now the awesomeness doesn't stop there, because from now on you'll get a shot glass worth of PharSide in every weekly edition of the South African Newspaper where I have my own little column titled, "Marky Mark's Hot Box" spicing up the jol, how wicked is that! So make sure you blerrie get your copy every Tuesday mkay!

By the way, if you haven't check it out yet, The South African Newspaper are giving away huge hampers of SA stuff that you'd find in your local SA Shop, so if you want to get your mincy paws on it, then check this out!

Around the same time last week, Bangers And Nash, who also just happens to be one of my favourite blogs that I read everyday, gave a list of the blogs that he would like everyone to nominate… and guess who just happened to be on that there list… need I say it I would like to return the favour, so my little loved ones, go ahead and touch him on his nominate button… I believe he's got a little something planned if he pulls in second place, so go have a look see.

Right gang, the nominations for the SA Blog Awards closes on 27th August which is in just two days time!!! I don't have any nails left as it is so if you haven't nominated PharSide, now would be a good time to do it, just click the image below and follow the instructions carefully, each and every nomination counts… so do it.. do it!

Just wanna say a massive amount of thanks for the kindness from The South African Newspaper and Bangers and Nash

- Marky Mark