Toastmasters International has, over the years, come up with a very effective formula for helping its members get better at oral communication. Unfortunately, there is some evidence that they haven’t quite figured out online communication yet.

For example, there’s an email I received from the head office. Here’s the whole thing:

The pitch, in its entirety: “Please click here to view a special message from International President Michael Notaro.”

What did the message say? I have no idea — I didn’t click on it. And neither, I’ll wager, did many of the 270,000 members who received it. Whoever wrote the email did not offer me a compelling reason to click on the link.

Any time you attempt to communicate with a client or prospect, you are in the “attention-rental” business. You offer information to the recipient, who “pays” for that information with a very scarce resource: his or her attention.

What would prompt your target to open a message from you? Here are three examples:

•A discount on a product or service
•A free e-book or information kit
•An invitation to an exclusive members-only event

Make sure that when you ask for a prospect’s attention, you are offering true value in return.

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Email Phil Bernstein here.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more! Sign up for Phil Bernstein’s free advertising and marketing e-newsletter here. As a bonus, I’ll send you a copy of my newly-revised and expanded e-book, The Seven Deadly Mistakes of Advertising and How to Fix Them when you subscribe.

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We discussed the seven deadly advertising mistakes that businesses make, and how they can fix them. Topics ranged from copywriting to media buying to how long it takes for a campaign to work.

Click here to listen to the full interview.

And if you want a free copy of my e-book The Seven Deadly Advertising Mistakes and How to Fix Them, all you need to do is subscribe to my e-newsletter. Here’s the link to subscribe.

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Email Phil Bernstein here.

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The newsletter is free, it comes out by email twice a month, and you can unsubscribe any time you want to.

Here’s the long version:

There are seven common mistakes that companies make when they advertise. If you’re making any of them – and many businesses make more than one – the odds of success plummet, and your marketing dollars are wasted.

Correct these mistakes and your advertising could become 30 to 60 percent more effective – in many cases, without spending any more money.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars of my own money, and tens of thousands of hours, studying the work of the smartest and most successful copywriters, marketing gurus, and salespeople. Claude Hopkins, Dan O’Day, John Carlton, Perry Marshall, Dan Kennedy, Jim Doyle… I’ve bought their books, listened to their CD’s, and attended their seminars.

For the past eighteen years, I’ve put their theories and methods to work on behalf of hundreds of local businesses. From car dealers and real estate agents to window retailers to a school for troubled adolescents, I’ve designed campaigns to bring them new customers.

Has every campaign been a huge success? No. Some had just okay results, and a few were outright bombs.

But I discovered that the bombs had elements in common, and so did the home runs. And that it was possible to take a floundering campaign and make it successful by fixing some very simple and common mistakes.

Among them:

• Too much information
• No call-to-action
• Flunking the “So What” test

If you want the whole list, plus actionable advice about what to do, here’s a free way to get it:

I’ve written a white paper called The Seven Deadly Advertising Mistakes and How to Fix Them. If you want it, I’ll send it to you at no charge. All you need to do is subscribe to the Phil Bernstein on Advertising eNewsletter, which is also free.

Click this link to subscribe, and I’ll send you the white paper. The link will take you to something that looks like this:

You’ll automatically get a copy of the current newsletter, and as soon as I see your name in the subscriber list I’ll email you a copy of the report.

__________________________________________________________________________

Email Phil Bernstein here.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more! Sign up for Phil Bernstein’s free advertising and marketing e-newsletter here.

Become a Facebook Fan of “Doctor” Phil Bernstein, Portland’s Advertising Expert  here.

If you like this post, share it — click the “Share” button below.

On Thursday, January 12, I’ll be appearing on Susan Rich’s internet radio show, Your Marketing Plan. I’ll discuss the seven most common mistakes companies make when they advertise, why those mistakes will hurt your results, and ways to fix them.

I’ll also tell you how you can get a free copy of my newly-revised-and-expanded report, The Seven Deadly Advertising Mistakes and How to Fix Them.

• The Show: Susan Rich Talks — Your Marketing Plan
• Date: Thursday, January 12
• Time: 11am Eastern/ 8am Pacific
• How to find it: Go here and  hit the play button at the top.

__________________________________________________________________________

Email Phil Bernstein here.

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For nearly a decade, my biggest Portland radio advertising client was a car dealer who appeared in his own commercials. I wrote the copy — more than 500 separate scripts over that time. And whenever he gave me the copy points, “Make it funny” was one of them.

He wanted the commercials to sell cars. But more important to him, I learned over time, he wanted his employees, customers, and friends to tell him what a funny guy he was.

In the interest of getting the copy approved, and preserving my commission, my first objective became to make him laugh when he read the script. My second objective for the script was to make it sell cars.

I’m not necessarily proud that my objectives were in that order, but there you go.

I’m reminded of that struggle every time I see the Volkswagen “The Force” commercial. This ad debuted on the Super Bowl, and two things happened:

1. Everybody loved it. Loved it. LOVED it.

2. When it was over, nobody could remember what car was featured in the ad.

It entertained, but it forgot to sell.

Pretty much everyone who owns a TV has seen it, but if you haven’t, here it is:

It was Radio Copywriting Guru Dan O’Day, at a seminar in Los Angeles, who taught me how to do both. His rule: the sales message must be part of the comedy.

On Dan’s blog, he’s begun an extended discussion of why humor, used properly, works in advertising. Here’s a short excerpt:

When an advertisement comes on the radio, the listener’s guard is up. Even though my saying this will offend a few radio sales chauvinists, people do not turn on the radio for the commercials….

If the commercial makes you laugh, however, then while you’re laughing your guard is down. Your filter is in the “pause” mode.

The full discussion is well worth reading, and there’s more to come. You’ll find the full post here.

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So it’s only fair to salute three companies — two national, one local — who did some small things that made things just a little bit nicer. In December alone:

• The folks at the Lloyd Center Mens Wearhouse in my hometown of Portland called me last week to remind me that I had a $150 credit that would expire at the end of the year. Yesterday I went to the store and burned $149.49 of it.
  -
• ZipCar sent me an email reminding me that my drivers license was about to expire. I’d received a notice from the Oregon Department of Motor Vehicles about a month ago, and had forgotten about it. Since I’m a ZipCar member, they had my license info on file. Somebody was smart enough to realize that this kind of reminder would be quite valuable, and made it part of their automated database program. My license is now up to date.
  -
• And finally, a thank you goes out to Phil Schlaadt, who runs the Portland MyDoor Dry Cleaning franchise. MyDoor does dry-cleaning pickup and delivery, one of the great time-saving inventions of modern life.
  -
  Phil Schlaadt had given his customers plenty of warning that there would be no pickup or delivery the week after Christmas. At least one of his customers (umm… Phil Bernstein) had forgotten this until late last week. I emailed him asking for a recommendation for a cleaner who’d be open.
  -
  He had one, and went me one better — he picked up my bag of laundry last Friday and dropped it off for me at a local shop he uses. Yesterday I went by that shop and picked my laundry up. Crisis averted.

Yes, Virginia, there are people out there doing it right, and they don’t get nearly enough credit. Thank you, and Happy New Year — see you in 2012.

__________________________________________________________________________

Email Phil Bernstein here.

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Even if it starts out private, it can be made public. Extremely public.

The short version: in November, a guy named Dave orders a pair of PS3 controllers from an outfit called Ocean Marketing. The controllers don’t arrive. In mid-December, Dave writes to the company asking what’s going on.

He hears back from a guy named Paul Christoforo. Paul’s initial reply is not particularly helpful. Dave gets irritated, and Paul gets insulting. My favorite:

…put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else.

At some point, Dave forwards the email chain to Penny Arcade — a website/webcomic devoted to the gaming industry that has, according to Wikipedia, about 3.5 million readers

Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade enters the conversation, and Paul insults Mike. Mike then publishes the whole exchange on Penny Arcade (did I mention that they have 3. 5 million readers?)  and the real fun begins.

I am not a gamer, and was familiar with neither Penny Arcade or Ocean Marketing until reading the story. But a quick look at Ocean Marketing’s website reveals that their primary business is… social media marketing!

So here, in three parts, is the lesson I hope Ocean Marketing has learned today:

1. If you accept money for an order, ship the product on time.

2. If the product gets delayed for reasons beyond your control, be pro-active and notify the customer.

3. Apologize.

4. “Put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else” is not an apology.

5. If you’re going to insult your customers, remember that emails can be forwarded.

For further reading, Google “Penny Arcade Ocean Marketing”. It just keeps getting better.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Email Phil Bernstein here.

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What advice would you give them? Comment below.

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Email Phil Bernstein here.

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Hello, my name is Ophelia  and I am an Internet Rankings Engineer. I performed a Google search for the keyword pedicure portland oregon and upon perusing past the first page, i ran across your website philbernstein.wordpress.com. I see that your website is currently not listed on the first page for this keyword search.

The fact is that your ranking and search engine positioning is easily correctable. There is no reason that your website cannot be ranked in the top three positions for the keyword pedicure portland oregon based on your website’s very quality content and solid structure. You have a very good website that is built to convert when it can be found.

I was baffled as to why an advertising and marketing blog would want to be ranked well in the pedicure category… until I remembered that in 2008, I’d written a facetious  post about the short-lived phenomenon of fish pedicures.

My new friend Ophelia — or more likely, her automated system — had searched for the word “pedicure”, found my post, scraped my email address, and offered me a service I neither wanted nor needed.

Had she bothered to look at my website, she would have realized that I write about advertising and marketing — quite well, I might add.

I don’t mind a well-directed piece of direct mail, whether it’s via the postal service or a digital channel such as email. But online or offline, you need to at least attempt to match the message to the market.

If you don’t, you’re not a savvy online marketer — you’re a spammer.

*I’ve redacted her last name and will not name her firm here, since it would either embarrass her, give her firm a link it doesn’t deserve, or both.

___________________________________________________________________________________

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People in the customer-service advice-giving business love to tell the story of United Airlines and Dave Carroll. It’s a very entertaining tale of a customer who, having felt mistreated, used the power of the internet to do an enormous amount of damage to a large company’s reputation.

It’s an article of faith to many of us that in the age of the internet, poor customer service will result us a huge loss of good will, and money. As Mike Frichol of Marketance put it,

Companies that don’t pay attention to what their customers are saying about their business/brands/products/services/solutions via social media sites pay a serious penalty in bad publicity and lost revenues.

Your business/brands/products/services/solutions reputation is open to positive and negative social media discussion online. This is your reputation – you need to be engaged – you need to monitor what’s going on – you need to respond appropriately.

But then, there’s SuperBookDeals, an online book dealer who sells books  via their own site, along with partners such as Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. In 2008, I had an extremely bad experience with SuperBookDeals and wrote about it here. I wondered whether SuperBookDeals would see the post — and whether their concern for their online reputation would cause them to reach out to me.

They didn’t.

Nearly four years later, a Google search for SuperBookDeals returns this:

The top listing is the company site, which is fair. But the Number Two listing when you look up the company is a consumer review site, Reseller Ratings. There are 80 reviews on the site, and almost all of them are extremely negative. A quick sampling:

“I will NEVER EVER order from here again!!!!! I order a book for school and was advised i would recv it in 14 days which would have been on the 16th of sept. Did i get it ?? ummmmm.NO!”

“Horrible, horrible horrible.”

“Do not order from this company.”

It goes on for page after page — dozens of angry consumers complaining bitterly about the books they ordered and did not receive… and the complete disdain they did receive when they tried to find out what happened to their merchandise.

More important, perhaps, than the stories themselves is this notation at the top of the review site:

Superbookdeals does NOT actively participate at Reseller Ratings to monitor feedback and resolve your issues. Are you this merchant? Help your customers!

In spite of 82 separate reviews — 81 of them extremely negative… in spite of the fact that this is the second listing on the page when someone Googles the company name… SuperBookDeals ignores it.

Meanwhile, my nearly four-year-old blog posts appear at #3 and #6 on the page. Although both posts get regular traffic and occasional comments, SuperBookDeals has not bothered to contact me, either.

So, this appears to be a case study in a company — an online seller, at that — completely ignoring its online reputation. Anyone wondering whether to do business with them can look them up and easily determine that they should not. Has this cost them anything?

As of this morning, SuperBookDeals still in business, still angering customers on a daily basis, and laughing all the way to the bank.

So the question for the group is this: how important is your online reputation? Leave a comment below.

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Email Phil Bernstein here.

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