Philpin Phun

Bob and The Blonde

fractals — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:48:21 +0000

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked [...]

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

fractals — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 03:02:06 +0000

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES? 4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. 5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE [...]

A Modern Parable

fractals — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:00:36 +0000

A farmer named Sid was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire, England, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, [...]

Letters To and From The Editor

fractals — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:23:28 +0000

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance. Particularly are the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then [...]

A TOUCHING Christmas Story

fractals — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 01:49:02 +0000

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had “disappeared”. The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded, “Where the hell are you?” Husband, ”Darling, do you remember that Jewelery shop where you saw the Diamond Necklace and totally [...]

Another Take

fractals — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:32:29 +0000

Enjoy – and I look forward to posting the male equivalent PREGNANCY Q & A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q : I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q : What is the [...]

The Reality Sets In

fractals — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:53:21 +0000

A man and a woman who had never met before and who were both married to other people found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she [...]

Children Writing About the Ocean

fractals — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:48:26 +0000

The next time you takean oceanography course, you will be totally prepared … 1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. ( Kelly , age 6) 2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you [...]

The Secrets To A Long And Happy Marriage

fractals — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:55:18 +0000

Oxymorons

fractals — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 16:23:56 +0000

Top 45 Oxymorons for you to consider:- 45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline Food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd [...]