“Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The fast pace and busyness of our day to day life have buried our passion for living. Most people live without a sense of meaning that makes them come alive!

It is very sad to find that the worst moment of your day is when the alarm rings in the morning for you to wake up and go waste your precious life at a meaningless work.

This post is a wake up call for you to start listening to your heart and find your passion for life.

Here are 4 ways to revitalize your passion for living:

1. Read Fairy Tales

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want your children to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” ~ Albert Einstein

For years, my reading was only focused on non-fiction books. I only read personal development and business books. Then one day, I decided to expand my horizon by reading a fiction book.

That was an amazing decision. I was introduced to a fantastic writing style and a whole new world of imagination.

Tales are not only for children. They are useful for adults as well. They can help you find your heart, your identity and what you’re meant to be.

Most of fairy tales teach that a rewarding, good life is within one’s reach despite adversity.

By reading fiction or fairy tales, you’ll open a pathway into an experience of unbelievable depths and richness.

2. Do Something Scary

“Taking action in spite of any fear is the best way to feel more capable and confident in your daily life.” – Logan Marshall

Experience something that you’ve never done before.

The first time I camped in the dessert was a scary, yet so exciting experience. You can’t imagine how it felt having dinner around fire and watching foxes playing around you.

By doing something new, scary and exciting for the first time, you’ll broaden your perspective and experience. You’ll see life from a whole new angel and you’ll recharge your passion for living.

If you can do what you’ve thought to be impossible, you’ll break the limits and fly high in the sky of possibilities.

3. Start a Gratitude Journal

“Many people take for granted the fact that they live in a country where they have rights, freedom and opportunities. Or the simple comfort of having a hot shower and a warm bed to go home to each night.” – Logan Marshall

We lose a lot by taking things for granted. We need to have fresh eyes; the eyes of a child who sees things for the first time.

If we failed to be grateful and notice the simple pleasures of life, we are going to miss out a lot of what life has to offer.

Start a gratitude journal and develop the habit of writing one thing you’re grateful for every day before you go to sleep.

4. Travel Constantly

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

I’m a big fan of traveling. I believe that it is the best life recharger of all time. You can solve all of your problems by traveling to a new place. You can grow ten times each time you travel. Traveling enriches your experiences and increases your joy.

Read this article by Derek Earl Baron who has managed to travel/live/work abroad non-stop for 12 years straight and counting! You’re going to learn how he could afford a life of constant travel.

His case might be a bit unique, but you will be inspired to use traveling as a life changing experience. As Derek says, “All you need is the courage to take the first step and a mind that is open to trying new experiences!” We are shaped by our surroundings. So, if you change scenery, you can change your life. Every time I travel to a new place, I return home with a boost of confidence and a lift up in my attitude towards life.

Now, it’s your turn…

What one thing can you do today to revitalize your passion for living?

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Mohamed Tohami is a bestselling author and the creator of “The P.A.S. Technique: The World’s Easiest Way To Find Your Passion and Purpose In Life”. Visit his Transformational Motivation blog now to grab a free copy of his special report “4 Steps to a Life of Passion” and join his free life purpose coaching online classes.

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There have always been people who have believed that lifelong learning is a worthwhile process. Increasingly, scientific research is proving them correct and technology is making it easier – adults can now take online college classes for the rest of their lives. For example, a recent article in The Atlantic reported that when individuals learn new tasks, they strengthen the part of their brain used in learning the task. Even better, this process makes the neighboring areas of the brain more resilient as well. This means that learning can make what you already know stronger, too.

So, without further ado, here are ten more reasons why you should always keep learning:

1. Fight Boredom. Most people feel bored when they aren’t challenged and boredom is the number one cause of bad decisions. If you’re constantly learning new things, you’ll be less prone to disinterest. And, in today’s world, with TED conferences and the Khan Academy, there are plenty of opportunities to enrich yourself.

2. Keep Your Brain Healthy. A 2010 study out of the University of California at Irvine revealed that learning keeps your brain functioning at a high level. Just like you need to exercise your body’s muscles and cardiovascular system, you need to exercise your brain to keep it in tip-top shape.

3. Grow Your Career. If you learn new work-related skills, you’ll be more likely to get a promotion or raise. And, with the rise of online education, you can even enroll in certified programs that allow you to learn and improve your career during your off-hours.

4. Model Positive Behavior for Your Kids. If you expect your children to focus in school and take the time to learn their lessons, you should exhibit the same commitment to self-improvement in your daily life.

5. Fight Alzheimer’s Disease. According to Science Daily, continued learning can slow the physical process of Alzheimer’s Disease. You’ll be healthier longer.

6. Keep in Touch With The World. If you don’t know the latest fashion, comedy and news trends, you’ll sound outdated and out-of-touch. By trying new things and learning new ideas, you’ll better be able to relate to those around you.

7. Find and Increase Your Pleasure. Learning isn’t necessarily a chore. If you’re interested in a hobby such as cooking, learning new recipes and cooking processes can be enjoyable. It can make you appreciate your hobby even more.

8. Look at the World with Fresh Eyes. Scientists believe that much of what is called creativity is simply the ability to apply skills learned in one setting to problems in another setting. If you’re always learning, this means that when you face a familiar problem, you may be able to come at it with an unorthodox solution, based on your new knowledge.

9. Keep Abreast of Technology. Computers become obsolete within a few years. If you’re not constantly learning new things about technology, you’re falling behind. Which means you’ll miss out on social, business and technological opportunities, simply because you didn’t keep up.

10. All the Greats are Doing It. Think of anyone, in any field, who is truly brilliant at what they do. They got where they are through constant self-improvement. Truly talented people are constantly learning and implementing new skills. It’s worth joining them in this passion.

There are plenty of fabulous reasons to keep learning new things, regardless of what they are. Forming new connections in your brain doesn’t have to be difficult, though it would certainly be a good idea to make sure it was some of the time. Now, it’s time to go out there and just do it.

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Personal development. Type the term into Google and you get 115 million results, give or take a blog or two. That’s not surprising. The personal development industry is worth billions of dollars. And that number will keep growing now that the global economic downturn has left millions out of work, reconsidering what they want to do with their lives and looking for new ways to get ahead.

But there’s a problem. With hundreds of programs, thousands of books, and what sometimes seems like millions of blogs, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. And, much like Barry Schwartz discussed in the paradox of choice, “with so many options to choose from, people find it very difficult to choose at all”.

Analysis paralysis

And it gets worse. “Even if we manage to overcome the paralysis and make a choice,” Schwartz continues, “we end up less satisfied with the result of the choice than we would be if we had fewer options to choose from.” In other words, we end up blaming ourselves because we feel we could have done better.

Oh, and it gets EVEN worse! Finding a good self-help book or personal development program isn’t enough. In many cases, being exposed to useful information won’t make much difference if you don’t apply what you learn.

Breaking through the noise

Fortunately, there’s a way for us to solve these problems:

• We need to focus on timeless principles. After reading dozens of books for my research on The Monumental Life, I noticed that the same basic ideas came up over and over again. That’s why I don’t get the big deal with EFT, NLP, LOA, or other self-help flavours of the month. We don’t have to chase the latest and greatest just like those silly magazines that come out with the “best ever” ab routine every single month. Instead, we should focus on what’s been shown to work over the long-term.

• We need to focus on taking action. Be honest: How many times have you read a great self-help book or gone through a brilliant personal development program only to soon forget all the principles you learned? I’ve lost track of how many times this has happened to me! It all turns into a waste of time because what we learn doesn’t make a difference in our lives or in the lives of anyone else. And isn’t that the point? That’s why we need to focus on applying what we learn. Unless what you’re taking in isn’t going to be applied in some way, you might as well not even bother.

Great expectations

Schwartz concluded his TED Talk by saying that the key to happiness is lower expectations. What do you think? Should we expect less from personal development? Or should we simply make better choices when it comes to our inner growth? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Eugene Yiga is a writer, consultant, and coach based in Cape Town, South Africa. He is the creator of The Monumental Life, a brand new virtual coaching course to help you live your best life. You can contact Eugene by emailing hello@eugeneyiga.com or by following @eugeneyiga on Twitter. Do it. Do it now.

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Digging is hard work. I’ve dug lots of irrigation ditches and post holes while growing up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming. It’s dirty work because the only way to clear a clogged ditch is to get in the muck and shovel out heavy, sodden clumps of debris so the water can run smoothly on down the ditch.

Often, the stuff clogging the system is not visible from the top because irrigation water tends to be muddy. It’s only after you start that your shovel finds more mass to the blockage. I hate digging out irrigation ditches because there’s always something more to be dug out.

Whether it’s shoveling out the crap from an irrigation ditch or from our life experiences, nothing moves forward until the deed is done. Tamping it down may take care of the clutter, but only for a while, and it will eventually clog the entire system.

Digging down in our own lives means more than skimming the surface. Our society would lead us to believe that peeling back the surface layers is all that is needed to understand ourselves. Not true, but I suspect you already know this deep down.

Because deep down is where our true nature emerges. It’s a journey to get there; it can even be an adventure if we let it. The further down we go, the more transparent we become, and more importantly, the more authentic we become.

Once we regain touch with our authentic self—sometimes called our inner voice—we can begin to dream about how things might be different and take the first steps toward doing what is fulfilling. We are not afraid to dream as children; as adults, however, we grow timid. We let our need for success supplant the need to follow our bliss, calling, passion, or dream.

As our practical side takes over, we stop dreaming. Instead, we settle. We get stuck in a rut. Unfortunately, the only difference between a rut and a coffin are the dimensions.

If we are to live fully, we need to get back in touch with our dreams. Never worry that they are too grand or beyond our capacity to achieve. At the beginning of this adventurous journey, the important thing is to find your vision.

Here are 3 recommendations on how to live fully:

1. Ask Great Questions – You have a life story and your story can be powerful if you let it. Questions can be catalysts that get you to think about your own experiences. Ask specific questions that bring a smile to your face as you tell your story:

• Who is the happiest person you know?
• Who are the people you like and respect the most? Why?
• What are you curious about?
• When does time seem to fly?
• What bores you?
• What makes you different from other people or members of your family?
• How do you want to be remembered?
• What excites you?
• What is in your bucket list of things to do in life?

Questions are effective because they help us remember the things that are important to us, things we might have forgotten. Things that are buried . . . this is what digging down is about.

If you want a great life, ask this great question: “What would create excitement and life for me?”

2. Start Now – If you don’t start living your dream now, you’re on the deferred life plan—postponing life until retirement or until you’ve made enough money to do what you want.

If you’re honest, isn’t that the real reason you want to be a millionaire? Not so much as to buy more stuff but to have the time and freedom to pursue the things that create excitement and life for you.

• Name the things that you look forward to in your day or week.
• Recognize that your dream is a calling and that you may have more than one.
• Stop being a slave to the life or job that is not fulfilling.
• Minimize time spent on meaningless work.
• Create time to pursue projects that do create excitement and life.

3. Blaze a Trail – The 4-Hour Workweek is a fantasy, not a dream. Most of us will never find the perfect job that brings unending fulfillment; if we need to make house payments and send our kids through school, we’re going to have to put our shoulder into it. But there are ways we can follow our dream regardless of our circumstances.

• Align your strengths with a career you feel passionate about.
• Evaluate the job prospects in this field over the next five, ten, or twenty years.
• Ask people who have succeeded for input.
• Look for like-minded people and begin telling them about what you want to do.
• Listen to their stories and learn from them.
• Roll up your shirtsleeves and produce something that is aligned to your dream.
• Network and join organizations in your field that can create opportunities for you.

Digging down to expose your true nature can be hard work, but it’s worth the effort. In a world where you can be anything, sometimes the greatest thing is to be yourself.

LaRae Quy was an FBI agent, both a counterintelligence and undercover agent, for 25 years. She exposed foreign spies and recruited them to work for the U.S. Government. Now she writes and speaks about empowering others to seek deeper meaning in life and work via her blog Empower the Leader in You. You can find her on Twitter as @LaRaeQuy

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Humans are social beings. We enjoy being understood and accepted; feeling that we belong. Maybe that’s why our friends, family and romantic partners are so important to us.

Unfortunately, Western culture values individual achievement over personal relationships. We’re good at finding career success but less than stellar at connecting with other people. As a result, our relationships often suffer.

But wouldn’t you love to rekindle the spark you once had with your significant other? Be respected and understood by your friends? Admired for who you are by your family?

If you want to make all these things happen, this post is for you.

Here are 5 ways to build better relationships with everyone.

1.    Learn To Listen and Understand

“You never listen.” “You just don’t get me.” 

Children say it to parents; wives to husbands; friends to each other. And they’re probably right – people are always too busy thinking about themselves to listen.

Everyone wants to share the newest story; the great idea they just had; their thoughts and advice. Most of us are either talking or waiting for our turn to talk. This doesn’t make for good conversation – or strong relationships.

The solution is simple: connect with people by listening and understanding.

When talking to someone, hear them out without judgment or interruption. Focus on what’s being said and do your best to understand. Your attention and empathy will be appreciated by others.

2.      Trust Other People

We often find it hard to trust because we’ve been hurt in the past. People coming out of romantic relationships are especially wary of opening their hearts again. But the truth is, ALL relationships – family, business, platonic – require trust.

Having no trust means worrying about what others are doing, thinking and saying when you’re not around. It means monitoring and controlling someone instead of enjoying them. Doesn’t sound fun, right?

At the end of the day, you can never know whether someone’s going to hurt you or not. There are no guarantees in life. You can try to protect yourself – but unless you make it a full-time job, you’re more likely to drive yourself crazy.

3.         Be Honest About Your Wants

Have you ever felt disappointed because someone didn’t act as expected? Maybe your parents said something hurtful; maybe your boyfriend didn’t realize you were mad at him. You probably felt let down at the time.

But if you think about it, we set ourselves up for disappointment so often. We fail to tell others what we want and then blame them for not reading our minds.

When you want something – or want to share something – be honest about it. Expressing your desires might feel uncomfortable, but it gives the other person a fighting chance to give you what you really want.

4. Be A Giver

We’re always looking to gain something from other people: positive emotions, knowledge, gifts. This is fine: humans are selfish by nature. “What’s in it for me?” is the first question we subconsciously ask ourselves.

The problem is, you can’t just take and take in relationships. If you don’t give back something of equal or greater value, there’s no reason for other people to stay around you.

That’s why investing yourself into relationships works so well. Make people feel good; gift them your undivided attention; make time for those who really matter. Giving value is the best way to be appreciated by the people around you.

5. Let Go Of The Need To Be Right

If we disagree with a person, we get angry. If we disapprove of something, we judge. If we feel we know best, we give unsolicited advice. In short, being right feels good; being wrong feels bad.

But when you think about it, nobody likes being told what to do. Unless a person explicitly asks for advice, they want to be understood – not lectured. When dealing with other people, let go of the need to be right.

That means you don’t force your opinion on other people. Don’t be pushy, self-righteous and judgmental– no matter how you might feel. Even when you think you’re right, understand that different people have different opinions!

Accept other people for what they are, right or wrong, and they’ll love you for it.

Conclusion

In today’s world, it’s always about “me, me, me.” This is why our relationships with friends, family and romantic partners are weak. You can’t connect with other people if you’re thinking about yourself all the time!

The best way to build better relationships with everyone is through positivity. From listening to other people to letting go of the temptation to judge, the tips in this post are all based on being a good person.

Now apply these techniques to your life and build better relationships with everyone.

Did you find any of these tips useful? Do you have more ideas on building better relationships with people? Leave a comment; I’d love to hear from you!

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George P.H. helps people figure out relationships, find confidence and turbocharge their lives with awesomeness. If you liked this post, check out The Man-Up Blog or tweet George anytime.

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While being Human is never easy, there are three functions we need to stay aware of to make our lives more effective and thereby happy. While life will always be hard work, keeping each function in mind goes a long way to empowering effectiveness. It is not as simple as it seems.

THOUGHTS: An effective life requires effective use of thoughts. Wherever thoughts come from, and this is not the place to debate biology and psychology, it is most useful to be aware as possible that you are both in control of your thoughts and not in control of them. No matter how sophisticated, or even enlightened you become, you will always have a steady stream of negative, what are really garbage thoughts, that need to be treated as such, and positive thoughts you want to hold onto, treasure and use.

FEELINGS: In general while feelings often seem, or can be a reaction to the external world, they ordinarily and most frequently follow thoughts. Effective use of feelings as our central source of available energy strengthens self-esteem, self-confidence and effective living. All feelings are incredible sources of energy, even paradoxically that, the more negative and painful they are the more energy they have locked up in them for use. But feelings come and and go, and you must feel them all, listen to what they are telling you, and then positive or negative, let them do their work and pass in order to access their energy.

BEHAVIOR: Lastly, whether our lives are effective or not depends ultimately on our behavioral choices. Making effective behavioral choices however highly depends on our awareness and choice of thoughts and how we cope and adapt to the resultant feelings or feelings precipitated by external events. In all cases it deeply depends on the ultimate security we feel within ourself which comes from situations not fully in our control like physiology, external events, and most importantly the nature of our early experiences; but most important to know is that we can change the nature of our ongoing experiences.

This may all sound obvious or simple, but it is not. As you try to balance your life, it is important to remain aware that it is the looping between any two functions that causes most distress.This looping will put up massive resistance to adding awareness and use of a third function. This may be part of the etymology of the expression, “he’s loopy.” It may also be seen in the idea two’s company three’s a crowd; or expressed in the ‘oedipal conflict’, the pressure in a child competing with or trying to get between parents; or a parent colluding with a child consciously or unconsciously making a spouse the third; or a child out of control when they are metaphorically allowed to stand on the shoulders of one parent and thereby feel bigger than the other parent.

For instance, say you feel stuck and are not getting on with doing (behaving) what you need to do to live effectively like earning extra money. Your thoughts and feelings will loop and seem like a jungle you have to push through to get on with effective behavior. This may be called laziness by you or others, or take the forms of obsession, compulsion, or hoarding.

Or, if you are looping between thoughts and behavior cut off from your feelings except craving, the temptation to keep ‘doing’, including ‘doing nothing’, to become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being’, can seem like an overwhelming challenge to control. You think up your latest plan while rushing from ‘doing’ part of one thing, to ‘doing’ part of another. This is where addiction hides.

Or, lastly, if you are looping between feelings and behavior, the rush of feelings driving you to act ineffectively, or even insanely, can make it feel like you don’t even have a mind to think with. In the same way your out of control behavior scares you silly, floods your mind with feelings and completes the fixed loop. That is why this loop is often central to the saying: ‘he’s lost his mind.’

THE THREE FUNCTIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS: ‘ME’ and ‘NOT ME’.

In working to become highly aware of your own three functions you must assess how much of your functions are the ‘me’ that you want, and how much are really past patterns with parent(s), or parental patterns, or other authority figures you are automatically carrying on. This complexity of thoughts, feelings, and behavior make it difficult to know just what is ‘me’ and ‘not me’.

EXAMPLE of  ‘NOT ME’:

Your parent(s) dies or abandons you, therefore everyone is a jerk and will abandon you, you can never trust anyone, you’re scared, you’ll abandon your friends before you get hurt, even if your friend is by and large a thoughtful, loving person you feel you must be missing something, you’re getting out of there, you’re being smothered, you’re losing yourself, you don’t want to be the bad one so you set the scene so you’re abandoned like you know was going to happen anyway, no one really loves you, you’re just an add on, they’re big and powerful, you’re tiny and weak, they’re knowledgable, you’re stupid, and yet you must search for them endlessly and you find yourself automatically attracted to older or younger others, and so on.

The point here is to see how these thoughts, feelings and behavior that you mistakenly think of as ‘me’, are actually loops based on repeating and trying to complete transactions from your past. As long as you don’t work everyday to at least try and see where your functions are coming from, you will mistakenly think and feel that you have no chance of owning ‘me’, creating necessary internal security yourself and thereby making your own effective functional choices in relationships, and EQUALLY important, but often neglected, in your interests.

EXAMPLE OF ‘ME’:

Everyday things and people happen that hurt you and help you. Everyday you help or hurt yourself through what you do or don’t do. You watch the thoughts that continuously pass through your mind of criticism, judgment of self or other, of non-forgiveness, of craving, of greed, of superiority, of inferiority, of past traumas and loss, of situations that seem out of control, of every little thing that gets in your way and frustrates you, of violence, of sadness, of anger: and you LET THESE THOUGHTS GO. You watch carefully, observing your own mind, and you choose the thoughts that support and validate you. You put them in your personal bank account so you can see that they are there. They grow and create necessary internal security by earning interest everyday.

Feelings rush in and out of your body and mind and one minute you are in deep despair, the next minute you are panicking, and then for long periods you may feel at peace. You remind yourself repeatedly that whether its source is internal in your thoughts, or external in that someone didn’t hold the elevator door for you, feelings come and go. It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. THEY WILL PASS.

You remind yourself in everything you do that I AM ME. It is my decision what I do regardless of what I, or others, think or feel; but as ‘ME’, I WILL BEHAVE EFFECTIVELY IN MY OWN, AND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE OTHERS’, BEST INTEREST. And WHEN I, OR OTHERS, MAKE MISTAKES, AS I AND THEY WILL, I WILL FORGIVE AND START AGAIN. MISTAKES YOU REMIND YOURSELF ARE ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS FOR THE EFFECTIVE GROWTH OF THE STRENGTH OF ‘ME.’

Dr. Clark Falconer is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is a practicing Psychiatrist from Vancouver, Canada and the author of the new, critically acclaimed book The Three Word Truth About Love And Being Well.

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“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be” – Joseph Campbell

If you can do it anyone else can do it too. Do you know that to be true? We all have the ability to stretch beyond our believed capacity and reach for the stars. But many of us have self-imposed beliefs that prevent us from getting to the next level.

Do you know who Roger Bannister is? He was the first person to run a mile in under four minutes.. The four-minute mile was believed to be impossible to reach until Roger did it in 1952. The motivating factor for Bannister was to prove that running a mile in under four minutes was not a myth and completely possible to do. In other words, he crushed a limiting belief that had been long-held by sportswriters and fellow runners in his time.

Guess what happened as a result of Bannister running a mile in under four minutes? You guessed it, the ‘four minute barrier’ has since been broken by many male athletes, and is now the standard of all male professional middle distance runners.

The point of this post is not to discuss your running abilities. But rather to show you that anything is possible if you believe it to be. Witnessing Bannister run the mile in under four minutes allowed for other runners to not only know it is possible to do, but to actually do it themselves.

You see, whatever anyone has done can be replicated by you. What was once believed to be impossible is now very possible.

We are living in very special times. What once took a lifetime to carry out can now become real in almost no time at all. Just look at technology for example. We can do things now like have a Skype call face to face in “real time” on a monitor with someone on the other side of the World.

This was just a neat idea when I was a kid. Now it is real and I have experienced it first hand. We are also in a time where our thoughts are manifesting much quicker into reality. I won’t go into the whole LOA thing here but our thoughts are things, and every thought we have sends a signal from our brain out into the physical world. Similar to a radio or cell phone signal.

Now, more people than ever are having psychic experiences, and even more amazing, they are willing to talk about them openly without fear of ridicule. How many times have you thought of someone and you receive a call, email or they just sent you a message through social media? It’s happening, and it’s happening at a very deep level for many.

What about your dreams. Have they been “uber” real lately? Mine have. Very rich and vivid dreams as if they are really happening, well, that is without this heavy, dense suit that I call my body.

Many are realizing that they are conscious beings that actually have more control over their lives than they once believed they had. Human beings are remembering that they are beings and that their being is more important than titles, degrees, social status and so on.

We are in an age of transformation or as many of you know it as the “New Age” of humanity. We are at the place where “old ways” are being removed for “new ways.” We are leaving a place of great darkness and heading to a place of light and awareness.

Many of you are being called forward to step up to the plate and to take your place in this new world of creation. Nothing is impossible in this new time because if I can do it, so can you. If you can do it, so can I.

Are you ready for your new responsibility?

Many of you are in a profession that you are not cut out to be in. Perhaps your parents thought you should be a teacher so you went to school, got your degree, and now you are one. The experience of teaching turned out to not be the best career choice for you, but it has a great retirement plan. Right?

Wrong! Your spirit, the real you is nudging you in a new direction in life but you feel afraid to make the change. I get it, I feel fear too, but I Overcome it and move on in spite of it. This is the only way to real happiness, to real contentment with your life.

How many times can you get up every morning excited about a life that you are not excited about? For me, I’d rather stay in bed than to live a life that isn’t fun and exciting for me. So how do you make the change without losing something? Everything has temporary sacrifices but they will pass. You may need to take a step back in order to take five steps forward. Are you willing to do it?

Perhaps you just need courage to change. Fear of the unknown is the most common of all fears. Most of you have faced your fears in life yet you still have a fear of what lies ahead for you. What if you could learn to transform fear into curiosity? Would you be more likely to take a step into the unknown then?

The only way to truly be free is to not fear your fear, but to transform it into curiosity like; “I wonder what would happen if I went this direction with my life?” What would happen? You won’t ever know unless you move towards it with curiosity instead of fear.

Justin Mazza is the owner and author of the award-winning personal growth blog Mazzastick.com. He invites you to have a look at his latest eBook and audio program: Overcoming Fear: Sticking it to What’s Holding You Back.

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As the cold Pacific storms crossed the skies above my Northern California home, I found myself deep in a rot. This condition caught me off guard because I had no particular reason to feel this way. I’m usually a pretty happy guy. As a result, I began questioning the whole origin of happiness, down to what makes us happy?

This quest of mine wasn’t going very well. Ah, sitting around trying to figure out the timeless questions! As a matter a fact, it was making me feel even worse. What if I’ll never be able to figure it out, I wondered. Clearly I just needed more time to contemplate.

At that very moment, my thoughts were interrupted by a doorbell. My next door neighbor stopped by to ask me for a hand in his yard. I reluctantly agreed. After all, what could be more important than pondering life’s greatest mysteries? Lazily, I assisted him with his work in hope of quickly returning back to my thoughts.

However the work gradually drew me in, and I found myself actually starting to enjoy it. The thoughts which clouded my mind most of the day dissipated. My attention was now entirely in the moment. As my mind became clear of thoughts, I found myself at peace and happy!

A few hours later, as work came to an end, my body cried with fatigue, while my heart celebrated the satisfaction of the accomplishment. Suddenly I broke out in laughter, realizing that once again life taught me a valuable lesson!

I was standing in the yard covered in sweat and dirt, with a grin on my face. I saw that happiness cannot be the direct goal in itself. Happiness can only be achieved as the result of other actions. One does not wake up in the morning claiming happiness as the day’s goal. Happiness and joy are born from love, compassion and benevolence.

Happiness Through Giving

There is a beautiful energy emanating from offering service and giving. This energy is expansive. It stimulates others to continue the gift of giving. Offer selfless service and giving, without any expectation of a reward. The rewards is in the act of giving itself.

Giving, does not have to be limited to material objects in nature. It can be through giving of your time and attention. Offering comfort, listening and supporting, are all gifts that are much needed and appreciated. It is only when we offer ourselves to others, can we experience true happiness and satisfaction.

Happiness Through Acceptance

In terms of happiness, acceptance plays two roles. The first, is the general acceptance of your life for what it is. It’s having what the Buddhism refers to as “the beginners mind”. It’s the practice of acceptance that is devoid of judgement and criticism. In order to be happy, let go of the control, and trust in the Higher Power to guide you to your destiny.

The second role is to practice acceptance of the gifts that are offered to you. It’s to understand the cycle of giving and receiving. Giving is a form of energy. If the gift is denied, the energy associated with the spirit of that gift is also blocked. For it to be fully effective, the gift must be received and reciprocated.

Happiness Through Detachment

Detachment has been practiced in ancient cultures for a millennia, and it leads us to freedom from ourselves. Attaching our emotions to an outcome of an event, will only lead to disappointment. Practice healthy detachment. Keep in mind that letting go, is much more rewarding than accumulating. This includes detachment from objects, outcomes and emotions.

Happiness Through Peace

The state of happiness is undoubtedly a powerful, uplifting emotion. It is however of impermanent nature, as are all strong emotions. I would much rather live a lifetime in a state of peace, than experience moments of intense happiness alternated with sorrow. Engage in activities such as meditation to calm down the mind and develop a peaceful state of being.

In Conclusion

I find that love, acceptance and giving, are the paths that lead to happiness. Happiness is the culmination of these qualities, and not their cause. If you’re looking for happiness, then you need to engage in creating the environment that will lead you to it. To summarize it, put happy in, get happy out!

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Vlad is a blogger, dreamer and a minimalist. As a spiritual counselor, he encourages people to live a life of self discovery. To experience purpose. You can find him on his blog at Simpler Life Today and on Google +.

Photo credit: ‘Sunrise‘ by Big Stock

Everybody talks about motivation and goal setting. It’s timeless. Everyone is also trying to make it look very complicated, like it’s a secret. They even came up with a DVD called “The Secret.” Really? Since when did all of this “motivational” stuff became a secret. When did taking care of yourself and taking responsibility for your own actions become a novelty? Nowadays, people need to actually read a book in order to treat themselves with respect and love. Personally, I don’t believe that you can buy motivation. You either have it or you don’t. I’m not trying to motivate you with this article; instead, I will provide you with the tools to make better decisions and as results live the life you always wanted.

I’m going to talk a little about something we make every day: decisions.

I hope you understand that everything about and around you is a result of your own decisions. Your whole life is a result of your own decisions.  “Decision” is the bridge between your thoughts and your actions.

We make decisions every day. From simple decisions as brushing your teeth to deciding “with or without crème in your coffee.” Everything you do is a result of a decision.

But what is the definition of a “decision” and why is it so important for you to understand this?

When making any decision, whether you like it or not, you are okay with the consequences. We are instantly and subconsciously validating the outcome of our decisions as we are making them.  If you think about it, it only makes sense to make those decisions that will eventually make us happy and achieve our goals; however, that’s not always the case.  For example, when we decide to stay up all night drinking, we are immediately accepting the fact that tomorrow we are going to have a hangover. Why would you complain about being sick after consciously and deliberately make the decision to drink all night? Because we also made a decision to ignore the consequences. It’s almost a state of denial.  As you take responsibility for the consequences of your decisions, you are also deciding to stay in control, therefore, you cannot complain about the outcome. Remember? You accepted the consequences.  By taking responsibility you have the power to change the outcome. If you don’t like or agree with the results of your decisions, change them.  For example, when you decide to go for a swim, you understand and accept the fact you are not going to drown. Bottom line, when making any decision we are accepting the consequences. When people fail to understand this, they will complain about the consequences and will not be happy with the results.

There are two types of decisions: conscious decisions and subconscious decisions.

A conscious decision can also be associated with setting goals. When we set a goal, we consciously agree to follow a set of actions that are required to make that goal become reality.  Everyone has a goal, from trying to lose weight to wanting to become successful or any other goal. When you set a goal to lose weight, you agree to exercise and eat healthy, right? That is because it is a conscious goal; however, lots of people have a hard time accomplishing this goal. You’re probably asking why? When making a decision to eat poorly, subconsciously, you are immediately accepting the consequences. Subconsciously, you are accepting to look and feel poorly.  Somehow, it serves a purpose for you to feel that way. You have probably heard the saying “everything you do is for a reason”. Let me tell you… It is! Your subconscious goal will sabotage your conscious goal. Most of the time, your subconscious goal will prevail. Why? Because it has been there for a long time and it has become part of who you are. You are a walking billboard of your subconscious mind.  If you are like me, you’ll find it foolish to set a goal to become successful but somehow allow your actions to lead you in the complete opposite direction. Why? Because somehow being a victim serves a purpose for you.

Once you understand that making a decision means agreeing and accepting the consequences, you’re going to gain more clarity in making decisions and your success rate will increase.  It’s going to help you “predict” the future. If you’re aware of the consequences, it will only make sense to make the right decisions that support your goals.  My advice to you:  “Don’t make decisions based on how you feel. Make decisions based on what your goals are.”

Thank you and good luck.

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World Wrestling Champion and successful entrepreneur, Leo came to the US 10 years ago with $10 on his pocket and 4 words of English.  Combining his work ethic, knowledge, and adherence to discipline, Leo found a way to share his passion for athleticism and personal growth with people of all ages and walks of life. RESULTS STUDIO and LeoFrincu.com became the embodiment of Leo’s burning desire to contribute to the community by enabling people to overcome personal adversity and reach their best potential.

Photo credit: ‘Two Paths‘ by Big Stock

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.” – Charles C. Noble.

Committing to exercise is always a difficult thing.  We throw ourselves at the task only to quit a few months later because we just don’t have the time for it.  Over the years I’ve come to realize that exercise isn’t something we find time for, but rather it’s a behavior we need to build up so that it carves a space for itself in our daily routine.  Just like how brushing our teeth is something we just do in the morning, exercise can be just something we do on a daily basis without having to think about it.  So how can we make exercise as automatic as brushing our teeth? By approaching it with the intent to build a habit.

Here are the 4 steps you can take to build the exercise habit:

1. Shrink the change – If you have ever pledged to work out everyday for an hour only to end up back where you started, it may be because the change was too big.  Make your new exercise habit small and make it so easy to do that you can’t find an excuse not to do it.  For example instead of working out for an hour just exercise for 15 minutes, or get very specific and very small and start with just 10 pushups a day. Shrinking the change helps you get some quick wins, which in turn remove the dread of the task and get the progress rolling toward your new exercise habit.
2. Create a trigger and place your behavior immediately behind it - A trigger is a reminder, physical or not, that spurs you to do a particular action.  For example putting your running shoes right in front of your door might remind you to run for 10 minutes in the morning, or an afternoon text message from a friend might remind you to drop and do 10 pushups.  The best type of triggers are things you already do without thinking, things like going to the bathroom in the morning, or brushing your teeth work well as triggers.  When designing for behavior change place your new exercise habit behind a trigger and do the action immediately after it.
3. Train the cycle and escalate – Habits take time to form.  Some experts say a month, others say less or more than that, really it doesn’t matter how long it takes, just continue to do the action everyday until you don’t have to think about it anymore.  Once you hit this zone, start escalating the habit, for example adding an extra mile, or 20 more pushups. The idea is that now that the habit has carved its own space in your routine you can start adding more things to your workout and feel confident that you’ll keep it up.
4. Shape your environment – This is about assessing your environment and redesigning it in ways that nudge you to exercise.   For example you could redesign your social circle by surrounding yourself with people who exercise daily, or you could redesign your physical space by purchasing a pullup bar to trigger you to do your 5 daily pullups.  You could also add an incentive or reward and connect it to your new habit, like treating yourself to a massage at the end of the week.  Either way it’s important to shape the environment around you to make getting up and moving around as mindless as possible.

Changing any behavior into a habit requires thoughtful design and patience, but on the other side of all that is a sense of control over the habits that that can keep you on a path to health and happiness. So remember, keep the change small, create a trigger, train the cycle and shape the path and you’ll be on your way to a healthier and fit you.

Kevin Asuncion is a NASM certified personal trainer and Founder of Movemo, a health and fitness company that teaches and empowers those who move our world forward to live healthier so that they can increase the positive change they make in the world.

Photo credit: Mike Baird