Here is my post from two summers ago — I believe this post gets more search engine hits than any other I’ve ever written. It seems there are lots of people who want to know what “twisted box stitch” looks like, and even more who apparently are looking for material for their own “how I spent my summer vacation” essay.

So we’re in a frenzy of laundry and packing and organizing and of course the biggest decision of all, what books to bring. Oh my gosh you won’t believe this. I was already excited enough about all my recent BookMooch acquisitions, and then what should happen but my sister-in-law, known to you as Aunt Sara, came to town because she is part of the clan going up north. And what should she bring along but a copy of the childhood favorite that I’ve been pining for: Lotte’s Locket by Virginia Sorensen. She found a beautiful used copy with library binding and card pocket intact (the book was last checked out in 1993), with pages slightly yellow and oh-so-soft around the edges and that delicious library book smell… oh! Thank you Sara!!!

Then of course I will bring The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas. And what else? I have In Praise of Lies by Patricia Melo, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Prep, another serial killer book, and a few others that are upstairs and I can’t remember the titles. I think Capt. Corelli would be appropriate now that I am the proud owner and plucker of a real mandolin but I am open to suggestions.

I’ll be back next week, and I look forward to catching up when I return. Happy reading, everyone!

I happen to have a book right here next to me that just arrived via BookMooch this morning. It’s The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, which I mooched only because my book group (not me) picked it for next month. I have never read it (obviously) and I know almost nothing about it. Like, why is it called an autobiography if it’s not written by Alice B. Toklas? I have no idea.

So, let’s take a look at page 69… Oh my word… heh heh… !!!

Luckily this is a small paperback and there isn’t a lot on page 69. It’s the beginning of a chapter, and it ends in a complete paragraph, so I will give it to you here in its entirety, with original typography and punctuation intact.

Chapter 4. GERTRUDE STEIN BEFORE SHE CAME TO PARIS

Once more I have come to Paris and now I am one of the habitués of the rue de Fleurus. Gertrude Stein was writing The Making of Americans and she had just commenced correcting the proofs of Three Lives. I helped her correct them.

Gertrude Stein was born in Allegheny, Pennsylvania. As I am an ardent californian and as she spent her youth there I have often begged her to be born in California but she has always remained firmly born in Allegheny, Pennsylvania. She left it when she was six months old and has never seen it again and now it no longer exists being all of it Pittsburgh. She used however to delight in being born in Allegheny, Pennsylvania when during the war, in connection with war work, we used to have papers made out and they always immediately wanted to know one’s birth-place. She used to say if she had been really born in California as I wanted her to have been she would never have had the pleasure of seeing the various french officials try to write, Allegheny, Pennsylvania.

Well, hey, if Marshall McLuhan is right, I’m in for a ride on this one! I can hardly wait!

* * *

Anyone else want to test The Page 69 Theory?

* * *

So, anyway. I read Geek Love this week. This is one of those books that’s been on my mental TBR list for years. Chartroose’s terrific post about conformity and alienation prompted me to finally read it.

Whoa! This was an amazing book. I can’t say I liked it, exactly, but it was amazing. Not an easy read, but worth the effort.

If you aren’t a fan of Traveling Show Lit, you may not be aware that the word geek has its origin in seedy carnival sideshows. Geeks were people who would bite the heads off of live chickens or snakes and drink the blood, for the public’s viewing pleasure. How the word ever came to have its current meaning I can’t imagine.

In Geek Love, the owner of the traveling show marries a geek and they decide to create a family of sideshow freaks. The wife takes drugs, exposes herself to radiation, etc., while pregnant, with the hope that her babies will have marketable deformities. And they do. One has flippers instead of arms and legs; two are conjoined twins, another is a bald albino hunchback, and the last appears normal… but isn’t.

The novel is about this family — how they relate with each other, how they relate to “norms,” how they get along in the world. There is much grotesquerie; I found it almost impossible to eat while reading. Chartroose is absolutely right that this book is about conformity and alienation, but not in the way you might expect. It’s not the freaks that are alienated, it’s the norms. No, scratch that. It’s the whole world that’s alienated. Freaks and norms alike. And people will go to horrifying (and futile) extremes trying to conform and find happiness.

* * *

Aaaaaand I’m in the middle of The Eyre Affair. Also not an easy read, but for very different reasons. See, in order for alternate history to make sense, you have to know actual history. I keep scratching my head going “wait, is that right?” It took me a while (I’m sorry to say) to catch on that this story is taking place in an alternate universe. I mean, I’m pretty sure the Crimean War was over long ago, and I’m almost positive Napoleon lost at Waterloo. And I am nearly certain that at the end of the book Jane Eyre does hook up with Mr. Rochester.

Speaking of which, I’ve been racking my brain to dredge up what I can remember of Jane Eyre, which I haven’t read since I was a teenager. Let’s see… Jane starts out in an orphanage where she makes friends with a girl who dies of tuberculosis, excuse me I mean consumption, then she goes to be a governess. Somehow she ends up living in Mr. Rochester’s house, employed in some capacity which I can’t recall. Then what? She discovers his wife in the attic, right? And she leaves? And I don’t know what happens next but eventually she ends up with Mr. Rochester again — she does, doesn’t she? — and now his wife is dead and his house is burned down. Oh, and I think he is blind now, but he recognizes her voice because he loved her all along. Did I get it right? Please, if you can fill in the gaps, let me know in the comments.

Although I keep worrying that I’m missing out on clever humorous details (e.g. I read the name Millon DeFloss about five times before I saw the joke) I do like the way the plot is unfolding. I don’t like a book that makes me feel dumb, as this one does, but on the other hand the idea of fictional characters coming to life is too good to resist.

* * *

It looks like it’s going to be a gorgeous day here in southeastern Michigan. I hope to spend a good portion of it in the hammock with my book. What does your day have in store for you?

Plot summary: Hugo Pepper is 11. He is an orphan and he doesn’t know where his home is. His parents crashed in the Frozen North, in a Crane & Sons Aeronautical Snow Chariot, Mark II. Apparently snow giants brought him to some reindeer herders (Harvi and Sarvi Runter-Tun-Tun) who brought him up. When Hugo finds the Crane & Sons, etc., Harvi and Sarvi tell him about his past. Then Hugo flies in the Crane & Sons, etc., to Firefly Square, crashing into a tree because the engine sputtered out. He meets his grandfather, who is trapped in the basement of the Firefly Quarterly Institute, which is where they make, edit, and print newspapers. And now Hugo has to figure out how to save his grandfather.

My favorite things about the book: One of my favorite things about the book was a detail: cloud sheep wool blankets and carpets. I liked it because of the description they give of the cloud sheep. Hugo’s parents’ friend was a carpet weaver, and her husband was a cloud sheep shepherd. Instead of carrying a crook, he carried a net, because apparently cloud sheep have buoyant wool. Because cloud sheep are about the size of guinea pigs, they look like little puffy clouds. Every once in a while a gust of wind will come and blow some cloud sheep off the mountainside. The net is to make sure they don’t fly away! In fact, there aren’t any left in the world, because a giant gust of wind blew them all off the mountainside! A 50% cloud sheep wool carpet is rare. It hovers a few inches off the ground. A 100% cloud sheep wool carpet is extremely rare. There’s only one in the entire world. You have to make sure you keep a tight grip on it! If you don’t, you’ll end up 100% cloud sheep wool carpet-less! The illustrations are great, too.

Would you recommend this book to other kids? Yes! If you liked The Edge Chronicles, you’re bound to like this! It doesn’t have as many made-up creatures, but there are snow giants and mermaids. Plus, it’s by the same author.

The nice thing about Akismet is that it works completely in the background. It simply checks each comment for spam characteristics, like multiple links, certain *ahem* keywords, and so forth. It’s very accurate and it obviates the need to use CAPTCHAs — you know, those things where you have to type in the distorted letters to prove you’re not a spambot. It’s so accurate, in fact, that I don’t even need to moderate comments. Which I prefer, because isn’t it fun to see your comment pop up on the screen as soon as you hit the post button? Plus I would rather give you the benefit of the doubt than assume you’re a spambot!

Lately a lot of spam has been falling though the trap, though, and when I did some experimenting I got weird error messages. I don’t know if it’s just not playing nice with the WP 2.6 upgrade or what. In any case, I sent a message to the guys at Akismet. Haven’t heard back yet, but I’m still hopeful. In the meantime I regretfully enabled comment moderation for first-time commenters. Believe me, your comments are very welcome, and as soon as this thing gets fixed, I’ll turn moderation back off.

Anyone else having problems with Akismet? Any other issues or questions about comment moderation or CAPTCHAs?