Last year, I waited in line for about four hours to see Inward Scream. For The Rose Trims Again, I waited about six hours in the cold. While November is not as cold as February, it was still highly unpleasant to stand outside for so long in that weather. I did, however, take refuge in the Loblaws next door a few times. I even bought a key lime pie to share with my friends in line, at one point. You can’t really complain about life when you’re outside, hacking into a whole key lime pie with plastic spoons, waiting to see Dir en grey. That’s practically a life of privelege right there.

Other than that, those hours in the line were pretty boring. The whole way to the venue, my best friend Hiro and I were wishing that we didn’t have to go wait in that line, especially since we’ve waited in lines in unpleasant weather to see Diru before. But in the end, I know that we’d both feel crappy if we stayed home while Diru were playing a show here, so we’ll always go endure those lineups to see them. I just accepted it and dealt with it. The best moments spent in the line were probably when members of the band walked out of the bus and into the building, as they weren’t that far away from us. Before I got there, Die had actually come out and signed some autographs, including my friend’s guitar pick of his that she got at the end of last year’s show. It was her birthday that day, too, and Die is her favourite member. The autograph seemed to have mostly come off by the end of this year’s show, though. D: Ahh well, she still has the experience to remember. In any case, when we saw Shinya and Kaoru walk by, no one yelled at them or anything (I think a large number of the people at this show had seen Diru before), but when Toshiya came out, a few people yelled out “Toshiya-san!” and he waved to us as he walked inside. Since August 2006 I have loved Toshiya for how damn friendly he is, since the day he came right up to the group of us in the parking lot after Family Values and waved to us. He is the friendliest guy.

We waited a really long time for Kyo to walk by. Eventually he came out, but he was wearing a hoodie, so half of us who were far away couldn’t really tell that it was him. For all that waiting and watching Kaoru go into the bus and theorizing that he was put on “Wake up Kyo duty” (we were bored…) and bitching about Kyo staying in there for too long, his eventual appearance was rather anti-climactic. But no one really cared, anyway. Again, I think most of the people there had seen Diru members in person before.

When we finally got let into the venue (my friends and I were among the first people, as we were very close to the front of the line), the security guards were being really weird, and made everybody sit down in front of the stage. If you stood up there for even a few seconds, one of them would tell you to sit down. We were being treated like kindergarteners, and it was really weird. In any case, we tried to sit on the side in order to stay away from the moshers during the concert, but as the place filled up, people sat even more on the outside than we were, so we wound up on the inside, after all. In any case, as we waited, we heard that there was a sign by the merch stating that if you bought a copy of their album there, you could get it signed after the show. Not wanting to pass up on such an opportunity - there had never been signings or meet-and-greets when they’d played here in the past - a few of my friends and I bought copies of the album. I wound up having to hold onto my copy for the whole show, but somehow I managed not to get even the case cracked at all. That was a freaking miracle.

The opening band was Johnny Hollow, since The Human Abstract got stuck at the border. (I’m sorry, but lolol.) While Johnny Hollow’s music isn’t entirely my thing, it’s really good, and they played a good set. They seemed like cool people, too. Alas, it was a pretty chill opening, which was good for trying to save up one’s energy for Diru.

Now, if there’s one thing I find stupid, it’s people starting to mosh when there isn’t even a band on stage. And quite seriously, people were moshing from just after the opening band ended until…well, the end of the concert, I guess. Now, I will state it here and now that I do not get rock shows. I don’t get moshing. Why do people insist on beating the crap out of each other during concerts? I go to concerts for music, not for violence. Someone who was with us later said that moshing is the point of concerts, but I honestly think that’s really stupid. In any case, I have no real desire to die at a concert, so when the death pushing began, I was quite rather unhappy. It got to the point that I even tried yelling at the people around me to stop fucking pushing because not everybody there wanted to die. No one cared. I was near this one guy from our group at first, but eventually decided that it would be better to try and move more towards the side, so I did. I eventually made it to a spot beside this one girl who’d latched onto a rather large guy in front of us. She had no idea who he was, but he was like an unmoveable wall, so I held onto his back for the beginning of the concert, until I was being pushed side to side so much that it just became pointless. Eventually, after a few songs, I was able to sort of ride the crowd to a spot somewhat to the side and much farther back than I’d initially started out, but I could immediately feel it once I was in a spot where there was no pushing, and everyone was just enjoying the show. It was an instant relief. I later watched the encore from the area just outside the bathrooms, as my friend got pretty beaten up in the crowd and needed to sit down. I stood up beside him and would occasionally run a little bit closer to the crowd for parts of songs. I went crazy to The IIID Empire, as I always do, against the wall outside the bathrooms. I half kill myself to that song, always, as a rule…I can’t help myself. Doesn’t matter if people are watching me.

Anyway, the actual show. Stealing the setlist from this Batsu thread, which I just found through a Google search for the setlist.

Sa Bir
Obscure
Grief
Agitated Screams of Maggots
Disabled Complexes
Agitated Screams of Maggots-Unplugged-
Toguro
Conceived Sorrow
Glass Skin
Dozing Green
Merciless Cult
Spilled Milk
Repitition of Hatred
The Fatal Believer
Hydra-666-

Encore
Gaika, chinmoku ga nemuru koro
Saku
The IIID Empire
The Final
Clever Sleazoid

This person’s order isn’t entirely correct, but I just changed the parts that I remember. Like Conceived Sorrow -> Glass Skin. I will never forget that, because it was the most amazing thing in the world. During Conceived Sorrow, I was practically having a religious experience, or I at least looked like I did; I had one hand on my chest and the look on my face was probably…ridiculous. I’m quite sure the guy beside me gave me a funny look. But it was amazing. For one thing, I love that song and it easily brings me to tears, so hearing it live was a big enough deal for me, anyway. But when he took away the mic just before the last chorus and sang those two lines without the mic, and an octave higher than those lines are in the recorded version, and everyone shut up and I heard his voice singing out into the room, it just felt real, and it was one of the most completely amazing things I have ever witnessed. For the rest of the song, I was just dying. I was completely under Kyo’s spell. And then they went into Glass Skin, and it was the perfect song to follow that up. I was very, very satisfied.

So, let’s see. I was a bit disappointed when I found out while waiting in line outside that they’ve been opening with Sa Bir these days instead of the usual G.D.S., because I’d only heard G.D.S. as a show opener once before (during Inward Scream, as they skipped it on the Toronto Family Values stop in ‘06) and hearing it as they walk out onto the stage in front of you, after only having seen that show opening on Youtube before, is really something. But oh well, the music playing as they walk onto the stage isn’t half as important as the first song they actually play. And of all of the songs they could have chosen to open with, they chose Obscure. Julia is a happy Julia, indeed! Aside from Obscure being such a classic, getting to hear anything from Vulgar live makes me absolutely giddy. (I’m pretty jealous of Montreal getting Audience Killer Loop - Audience Killer freaking Loop!!! - but I can’t really complain.) That was a damn great song to start the show with, because who doesn’t love Obscure? And next was Grief. I’ve always loved the guitars in Grief. Moreover, it’s fun singing along to the “fuck you fuck you” parts (….well, I guess that says something about me), and even better, the misheard lyric still sounds like “AC/DC fuck you” live! I love that.

Now, when I heard the beginning of Disabled Complexes, I think I shouted out the song title or something. The song featuring the misheard lyric I named this blog after, yo! I know it’s stupid of me to get so excited over misheard lyrics, but…let me have my moments. I waited the entire song to hear “WHAT IS PILLOW FIGHT!” screamed out live…and it didn’t happen. He totally wimped out of that part and saved his voice for the next part or whatever. BLAH! I forgive him, and all, but that was a tiny bit disappointing. XD

Agitated Screams of Maggots kind of went by in a blur, since it’s never been a favourite (except for a few times when I was really mad and just wanted something…loud). I don’t know about this “unplugged” thing on the Batsu user’s setlist, but I don’t have many memories of the assorted random Kyo vocalizing moments. They happen. They’re fun. I think I liked Toguro, though it was kind of a blur for me, too, since I wasn’t too familiar with the song yet. (I’d only listened to Uroboros the day before the show, and I was half asleep on the way to Japanese class for much of the time that I listened to it.) Conceived Sorrow -> Glass Skin was, as I said, amazing, and Glass Skin was fucking awesome live. I remember green lights and headbanging a lot to Dozing Green. Merciless Cult, I remember headbanging and singing along to the “aishite kudasai” parts, like I have every time I’ve heard that song live. Seriously, I’ve heard that song live three times, and that just makes me like it that much more, though I tend to forget it exists these days. I’ve always liked Spilled Milk more than most of my friends who I’ve discussed the song with, and hearing it live just heightened my appreciation for it. I really enjoyed it.

And OH, REPETITION OF HATRED! I fucking spent that entire song trying to figure out what the fuck it was, because I knew it was a song from The Marrow of a Bone but I could not for the life of me remember what song it was. Been awhile since I’ve listened to much of that album, aside from The Pledge. Thank you, setlist, for giving me my answer. I remember them playing The Fatal Believer, but don’t remember much about the performance itself, except I think that I laughed in my head at mishearing some line in it as “your boyfriend” live, just like I mishear it in recordings. Pretty sure The Fatal Believer is another song I’ve heard all three times I’ve seen the band live, and that makes me biased towards it, as well. Hydra-666- was another misheard lyrics moment for me (I’ll stop someday, I swear…), as I only figured out what song it was when I heard “FLOOF. FLOOF FLOOF.” That was actually in my personal message on MSN once. I think I got it from a Youtube comment on an upload of the song. Yeah.

So after that, they went off stage and I found my friend after getting a text message, and settled myself at the back of the place with him, outside of the bathrooms. Then the encore began. I’ve zero memory of Gaika, because a) I didn’t really know the song yet, and b) I spent most of that song sitting down with my friend and not actually watching the show. Saku, it took me a minute to realize that it was Saku, but then I recognized it and ran a little bit closer to the crowd to headbang or watch a little. I think the order after that was The Final and then The IIID Empire, but I could be mistaken. In any case, I spent parts of The Final talking to my friend, parts of it over near the crowd headbanging and singing along, and parts of it running over to my friend and singing it to him. xD It’s pretty much a staple in our karaoke repertoires, to the point that all of our friends who’ve been to Korean karaoke places with us at some point know the words to the chorus. In a weird way, it didn’t feel like such a crime talking during the verses, just because…well, that song is like home to me. I sound stupid, but it makes me think of my friends, and good times with friends and Jrock and Diru shows, and in that way it kind of makes me feel safe. So I felt like I could talk through those verses all I wanted, to my best friend, and it was okay…until the choruses and the ending came, and then there was no way I could stay sitting down. No way. As for The IIID Empire, I headbanged like crazy to it, like I always do, as I mentioned earlier. Having a wall to support me made it a lot easier than in the past. I fucking love hearing that song live. And then, they ended with Clever Sleazoid, which I believe they did last year as well. Despite Clever Sleazoid being…well, Clever Sleazoid, I’ve kind of developed a fondness for it (beyond the parody lyrics, yes), and that makes me enjoy hearing it close a show.

Alas, the show was over, but the night wasn’t quite done yet. We still had to get our CDs signed. Unfortunately, this part of the night became one HUGE frustration, due to the security guards being COMPLETE ASSHOLES. They were all giving everybody different information about which lineups were for what, they kept touching me when I wasn’t doing anything to anybody, and they didn’t really care about us wanting to meet our favourite band and just wanted us to get the fuck out of there. I found myself waiting in the coat check line, despite a friend having all of our group’s coat check tickets and already waiting in the line to get all of them. I felt intimidated by the security guards yelling at me, and didn’t know what else to do. When we got to the end of that line and got our coats, we turned back to go in and get our CDs signed, and a security guard tried to stop us but the “fake Kyo”, as we’d dubbed him (a guy who’d basically styled himself to look just like Kyo, except significantly taller) talked to the guard and he eventually let the three of us (my friend, fake Kyo and I) in. I said something like “You’re cool, fake Kyo” and he turned around and just looked at me, and I looked back at my best friend and we laughed. Of course, fake Kyo had to maintain that “cool” exterior, in order to pull off the whole Kyo thing. You know how it is.

So we walked back into the main area of the venue, and we saw Die and Shinya seated, signing people’s CDs. It was just them, but I didn’t mind. The line was quite short, so we didn’t wait for long. During the first songs of the concert, I’d been planning out Japanese sentences to say to all the members in my head, but when I got into that line I knew that I wouldn’t be able to say anything but 「ありがとうございます」 - “Thank you very much.” I wasn’t even going to bother trying. I was right behind fake Kyo, and my best friend behind me. At first we had a frantic scramble to get our CDs open, because the plastic wrap was ridiculous and there were sticker barcodes holding the cases closed and the security guards were bitching at us to have the liner notes already out by the time we got to the table. I was literally afraid that they would make me leave if I didn’t get it open fast enough. A random girl in front of us in line helped me open mine. I watched fake Kyo go through, shaking Die and Shinya’s hands, and I decided that I would shake their hands, too. And so, it happened. I got up to die, held out my liner notes to him, he signed them, I took them back, said 「ありがとうございます」, bowed, and reached out to shake his hand. And he shook my hand. Same deal with Shinya. Neither of them said anything back to me, from what I remember (unless I was just so fucked out of my head from meeting them, at the moment, that I didn’t even notice), but they both smiled back at me as they shook my hands. I felt like they were kind of looking at me in a curious way; later I decided that it might have been because they hadn’t expected the random young girl to go to shake their hands, as well. But dammit, I got to touch two members of Dir en grey. I’m a happy girl. My best friend said 「ありがとうございます」 to both of them, as well, though they apparently said thank you back to him and reached to shake his hand, first. I obsessed over this at first, but I’m over it now. I’m just really…OCD. Apparently the girl who was there translating things for them then said something like “Haha, they’re all saying thank you” and Die laughed, and my best friend looked over and laughed too. PWNAGE, WE ARE THE FOREIGNERS WHO UNDERSTAND THE JAPANESE! But I was out of the room by then.

Ah, speaking of that girl, the fake Kyo had been saying he’d driven from Montreal to see this show, and the girl translated it to Japanese for Die, and Die was like “Montreal? Wow.” Oh man, that’s the first time I’ve remembered that moment since it happened. That was great. Meeting Die and Shinya like that at all was great. It’s funny, they’re these cool band members and grown men, but sitting in front of us then, they were smiling and completely adorable. God, I love you Dir en grey.

That’s really all of the night that’s worth noting. I did manage to only lose two of my fake nails during the show, and I saved one of them in my pocket to glue back on later. That and not getting my CD cracked at all was pretty damn impressive, considering how close I came to being shoved into the mosh pit and fucking killed. When we all went outside after that, I was having trouble processing the fact that I’d just met two of them at all - it took me until later in the week to start feeling really excited and happy over it, once I’d finally processed just how awesome it was - and we stayed in the parking lot for a little while, talking to people, trying to buy a drink from the hot dog stand (they were sold out), and watching a member or two go back into the bus, before my best friend and I decided that it was a little ridiculous to stay waiting to watch them go into the bus after all that, and we left with that guy from our group who I’d been near at the beginning of the show. We stopped at a convenience store on our way back to the subway station, went home, went to sleep, goodnight.

Ah, the beginning of the show before Diru came out was funny, actually. This girl just behind and beside me had a shoulder bag and it was pressing against me a lot, so finally after the opening band ended I turned around and told the girl “Yeah, your bag is kind of assraping me,” but in a joking way, not pissed off or anything. She then proceeded to grope that one guy’s ass, pretending it had been my arm (though he knew it wasn’t), for the next TWENTY MINUTES OR SO. It got a little over the top, seriously. Like that woman holding a boom mic who kept sticking it in Ben Kowalewicz’s crotch during that interview in Billy Talent’s MTV Diary. (If you have any idea what I’m talking about.) But once the pushing started, I found myself pushed up against three Asian guys - the guy from our group, and two guys I didn’t know - and I realized, “Wow, I’ve only dreamed of moments like this.” I’m just saying. It was really, REALLY amusing to realize that I was pushed up against three cute Asian guys and they didn’t mind. I mean, lawl. Then, as the guy I know tried to help me get to a place in front of him which I thought looked safer, I at one point wound up stuck against him in a freaking COUPLE POSE. It was absolutely hilarious. And nobody cares about this story, but…it’s fun for me to recall it. And it has nothing to do with Jrock anymore, so nevermind.

Ways the night could have been better for me? Aside from the cold and the asshole security guards and the idiot moshing kids and all of that bullshit, of course. It might have been nice if I’d not been too lazy to bother getting other merch, since the posters actually had the band on them, this time. (The poster I got at Family Values was the one with an explosion happening on it, and I had that on the wall beside my bed for a long time but would look at it and think, “This really has nothing to do with Dir en grey except for their name.”) As for the setlist, I was really hoping that they would play The Pledge, as I am so. completely. in love. with that song. but I wasn’t too disappointed, because the setlist was pretty damn good, and Conceived Sorrow more than made up for The Pledge’s absence. Still, I would love to hear that song live one day.

Dir en grey are always going to be worth it for me. I’ve seen them live three times now, and I intend to see them live as many more times as possible. And the next time I meet any of them, I will say something more than just thank you. I will say an actual sentence. I hope. But yeah, I love Diru. With every show, I only love them more.

Fuck, I haven’t even talked about the members’ performances. I’ve already typed it out on my LiveJournal and said it in a vlog, so let me just copypaste from my LJ entry:

“The show was great, anyway. I mean, Kyo, goddamn, I fall in love with him a little more every fucking show. I don’t know how he does it. He keeps going despite fucking himself up and needing surgery on his vocal chords or throat or whatever…and he keeps going and sounding amazing, and being amazing. And he did the sexy dancing, a lot more than I’d ever seen him do it live before. It was awesome. Toshiya was the other one who really worked the crowd; he was damn into the crowd interactions. Shinya’s drum set was so high he was practically up on a pedestal, but I could barely see him past the symbals…but I love him. Die’s hair is longer now, and he had the wind machine on him again. Near the end I saw Kaoru standing up on a speaker or whatever headbanging, and it was pretty hardcore. And then at the end, Shinya was frisbee-ing out drum pads to the audience, LOL. Didn’t catch anything, but whatever. My copy of the new album is signed by Die and Shinya. Julia does not have the right to complain.”

While I’m at it, here’s my morning after vlog:

I’m done now. So, anyone else who’s seen one of the Rose Trims Again tour stops, care to share your experiences?

Getting to New York City is entirely possible for me. Friends of mine will definitely be wanting to go to this, so I can likely go along with someone who’s driving, instead of having to take a Greyhound. (My best friend had to Greyhound to LA for SKIN’s debut and he really hated the traveling, so we’re probably going to want to go in a car.) The whole thing will be absolutely huge and amazing and something that I’d really hate to miss. I mean, did I ever think I’d get to see X Japan live? No way. It’s amazing news! I’d be an absolute fool to let an opportunity like this pass me by. So, I’ve got to do whatever I can to go to that concert.

…Ahhhhhh. =D

Fall To U - The first song I heard by them is still a favourite. This song is a great example of something that the band does a lot: balancing parts with fairly “happy” melodies with heavier parts. I’ve always had a difficult time getting into rock songs that sound too “happy,” because they kind of just bore me to some extent (An Cafe songs being an exception, possibly because they’re just so good and they actually make me happy when I’m listening to them, as opposed to bored), but

[riot] - One of their first songs, according to the discography, and I’ve been listening to it a lot. A bit heavier than Fall To U, but still not a dark song; it seems like even when the music is heavy, it’s usually fairly…upbeat, for lack of a better word, though not the boring kind of happy. They transition really well between the “riot” parts, the singing right after, and the guitar right after that. That whole part is just a great time. And there’s a lot of other stuff going on in this song too, like when there’s suddenly a…vocoder, or some such thing, putting effects on the vocals at one point. A really cool song overall.

limpid - At the beginning, it could almost pass for some kind of Jpop song, what with the piano and the vocalist’s voice being less gruff than a lot of other Jrock vocalists’ voices. Then the song really gets going, and it has a great feel to it. I don’t have a lot to say about it except that I love the feelings the music inspires and it’s a great song.

rhymeLoud - The intro reminds me of a song by a local Jrock-inspired band I’ve seen live a couple of times and grabs my interest right away. The music’s pretty heavy at first (I really need to find another word, but “hardcore” sounds stupid and I really don’t know what word to use), and then gets a bit more upbeat, but the song doesn’t let up, and the chorus is terrific.

honey… - Another definite favourite that I’ve been listening to a lot. This isn’t a particularly happy song, and has a more emotional vibe to it than a lot of their others. The intro starts off sounding a lot like some other songs, but it becomes more unique as it picks up, and I fall for it every time I listen to it. It’s just SUCH a good song, and I highly recommend it.

PUNKxNoTxDEAD - More punk than usual, it would seem. Worth checking out.

Hakuchuumu - Sounds like they’re sampling part of The Immigrant Song here? Whoa. o.o Well, that’s cool. Pretty good song overall, as well.

clever noise - I like the electronic sounds at the beginning. Pretty.

PokerFace - I listened to this a bit yesterday, and I’m finding that I like it a fair bit. I don’t have a lot to say about it, but it’s a bit heavier than some of their other songs, and less happy.

Ameiro Drop - (At least, I think that’s the romanization. Correct me if I’m wrong on the title.) This is pretty recent, to my knowledge. Loving the instrumentation, and it’s a good enough happy song that it doesn’t bore me, but actually makes me happy. Very good quality.

Sakurairo - On the same single as the previous song, Haruiro Plastic, so it’s also a recent song worth noting. Fairly feel-good, but it has a different vibe than Ameiro, so it’s worth listening to as well.

I haven’t seen a PV by this band yet, and I’m not even positive that they have any, but I think they might and I just haven’t found them yet. If you know where I can watch any, please point me in that direction! I know very little about this band’s history and where they’re headed, but I’m really enjoying their music, and I hope to see and hear more from them in the future.

Okay, one last thing: I promise I will start blogging more here. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I’m doing with this blog, but I need to actually write in order to figure that out. I will write here more often from now on!

So naturally, being able to see them live twice within the space of a year was a pretty big deal to me.

The first time was when they went on the Family Values Tour, in August ‘06. When I found out that they were on this tour and it was coming to my city, I was quite possibly more surprised and excited than I had ever been before. My friends and I secured our tickets as quickly as we could, and I managed to convince my parents to end one of our summer vacations a day early so we’d be back in time for me to go to the show. All that was left to do after that was wait. The day of the show was amazing: hours before they actually played, we got to see the entire band up close, as they walked from their bus in the parking lot to the building where they’d be preparing for the show, while we were allowed to stand very nearby. At the time, I’ll admit, I was mostly into their music and I didn’t know much about the members themselves, so I was the most excited to see Kyo up close, since he was the one I was the most familiar with. Actually being mere feet away from him was just amazing to me. And there they were, Dir en grey, actually right here in Toronto. When I’d been starting to get into Jrock, I never would have imagined that this would happen.

Random highlight of the Diru sightings was when we could see Die a ways away from us, and he was smoking, so one fan yelled “DIE STOP SMOKING!” I don’t know if it was loud enough for him to hear, but it was pretty funny for all of us waiting there. xD

Their set was terrific. I was pretty far away from them (far enough that it took me a minute to figure out that Kyo had fallen, when that happened…I had to look it up on Youtube later to see what exactly had happened; god, he WIPED OUT), but I was still blown away. I tend to not really absorb what I’m seeing and hearing at a concert for awhile, and then be suddenly hit by the weight of what I’m experiencing. The moment when it hit me was when they started to play Dead Tree. My first Diru song. I just couldn’t believe that I was hearing it live, and that was when I really came alive and got into it. It was an amazing feeling. After the show, some fans stayed until midnight to catch another glimpse of the whole band, but my friends and I decided to leave much earlier. We did, however, get to see Toshiya very up close, when he stopped to wave and say hi to the group of us standing there waiting by the parking lot. I’ve had a soft spot for Toshiya ever since then. The thing I generally have for bassists also helps.

The rumors that Diru were going to have their own North American tour in February started soon after that, but it was almost unbelievable that they proved to be true. And their show in Toronto was on my friend’s birthday, no less! (She even wound up getting Die’s pick, and he’s her favourite member too - WHAT A PRESENT!) Once again, we got our tickets as quickly as possible. A lot of friends were there, but I travelled with just one friend who also had to go to school for the morning. We left school at lunch to head to the venue, where we then waited in line for four hours in the freezing cold. I had seen one of my other favourite bands, Billy Talent (a Canadian band), live just a week before (and the day after my 16th birthday!), and I’d gotten a pretty bad cold after that. I wasn’t feeling great, and you’d think standing in the cold would’ve only made me sicker. But I was mostly just bored.

When we finally got to go in, we still had to endure the opening bands, who none of us really enjoyed. But after that, the opening started, that song that Diru always have playing while they come out onto the stage at the beginning of their shows (which I can’t remember or find the title of right now, though I used to know it). They hadn’t played it at Family Values; I had only seen show openings like that on Youtube before. It may have been my second time seeing Diru live, but it was my first time at a headlining Diru show. That’s a whole different event. The excitement built so much with that song, and then they came on stage. And it was a fucking amazing show.

After maybe two songs, I felt physically dead. My body was just too worn out from having gone to a concert the week before, and from being sick. I don’t even know how I managed to keep moving throughout the concert, and how I avoided being pushed into the mosh pit. But somehow, I survived. At times, I felt really out of it, and it was almost like my brain wasn’t even there. I distinctly remember a moment when my eyes were on Die, but all I was thinking about was how thirsty I was and how much I wanted Sprite, and how nice the bubbles would feel…and how jealous I was that there was a wind machine or something blowing on Die, because it was way too hot in there. And when Kyo became Bucket Man, I felt like I was watching a cartoon, and I just totally spaced. It didn’t feel real at all. But for most of the show, I was paying attention. The moment when everything really hit me this time around was when Kyo started singing acapella. His beautiful voice filling the room was…for lack of an adjective I haven’t yet used ten times, amazing. (Okay, I really ought to find another word.) The whole show was everything I’d hoped it to be.

A few of my friends and I had brought presents for the band members. Advised by a friend who said that Toshiya likes Doraemon, I’d bought him a Doraemon plushie in Chinatown the week before. I didn’t think to leave my plastic bag of stuff I’d felt I needed to bring in the coat check, for some reason, so when the bag broke, I wound up desperately clutching its most important contents - the Doraemon and a shirt a friend had given me as a late birthday present, this being the first time she’d seen me since my birthday - under my arm for the rest of the show. (The other contents of the bag had been ibuprofen, tissue packs, and pens, mostly. They wound up in various places on the floor of the place, and someone told me they had seen the ibuprofen bottle somewhere at some point. I think I eventually saw one of the pens but didn’t care enough to pick it up. xD) After the show, we gave our gifts to an English-speaking roadie we’d had a conversation with after the Family Values show, and he said he’d give them to the band. I really do hope that Toshiya got that Doraemon, and that he still has it today. …xD

And miraculously, the next morning, my cold was gone and I felt better than I had in a week. Diru’s magic healing powers? I think so.

Ever since the success Diru has had here, I’ve been saying that other Jrock bands would surely note this success and try their hands at coming here, too. Even when Diru toured with the Deftones and didn’t return to Canada that time, I figured that some Jrock band would come around eventually, so we wouldn’t have to wait forever. I thought that it was finally happening when Taste of Chaos was announced to have D’espairsRay and MUCC in its lineup. We were under the impression that the tour would be coming to Toronto, and we were excited. Then we found out it was coming here at all. And hell, Taste of Chaos has come to Toronto before! Why the hell wouldn’t it come here? It doesn’t even make sense.

When Diru headlined in Toronto, they drew in a huge crowd. A ton of other Jrock bands could do the same. So why haven’t any of them tried coming here yet? The Inward Scream tour was over a year ago, already. It’s time that someone else gives this a shot. More Jrock bands need to play North American tours, not just go to California and New York City. There are so many other fans over here who would go to Jrock shows that the tours would definitely bring profits. And we deserve to see more of our favourite bands!

Awhile back, there was a staff blog entry asking where fans would like to see the GazettE play. My friends and I tried our hardest to promote Toronto, but the band still hasn’t come to North America. Then came the poll asking if people would go to see Miyavi in New York. If he was playing there, I would do whatever it takes to get there - after all, it’s maybe a 10 hour drive away. That’s not a huge distance. My best friend travelled by bus all the way down to LA to see S.K.I.N.’s debut, but I still haven’t seen Miyavi live, and it would mean so much to me to be able to. Then, Toronto was added to the list of potential cities on a new poll. It was getting a whole lot of votes, including mine. And yet, tour dates have been announced for the North American leg of Miyavi’s world tour, and all three of them are in California. I’m still holding out hope that there are going to be more shows than that, because I’ll be mad if he’s only playing in California. Not mad at him, but at whoever had that idea. I mean, that’s RIDICULOUS! How are we supposed to feel about that? That hardly counts as a North American leg of a tour. It’s the Californian leg. I know the tour never even had Canada on the list of countries, but come on. Toronto deserves a show. At least New York, for the love of god! I know all Torontonian fans wouldn’t be able to go to that…but I would.

Still, I want to promote the idea of Jrock bands coming to my city as much as possible, because there is a huge demand for them here. I know that Maximum the Hormone was here recently, although I didn’t find out about it until after it had already happened, and it was a 19+ show anyway. That’s another thing that should be addressed: these Jrock shows should be all ages. I know that Miyavi played a show (in LA last year, I think) that wasn’t all ages, and I think he apologized to his younger fans who live there on his blog, but still. It shouldn’t happen. A lot of the Jrock fanbase here is made up of underage fans. Alienating those fans only makes the band’s audience smaller, so we’d all benefit from all ages shows.

But Maximum the Hormone coming here at all is a good step. Someone is taking notice of this city. The question is, who will be next? More Jrock bands playing shows over here is something that should have started long ago; it’s high time that this happens. Miyavi’s and the GazettE’s fans have showed their support of this idea online, and Hyde’s latest album releases (and Laruku’s, too?) have had US releases, so they’d all seem like good ideas. Maybe Diru’s success here wasn’t enough to prove that it’ll work, but perhaps one more band being successful here will be enough to inspire other bands to try it. Someone has to start, though. Come on, can’t someone take the chance? We’ll make it worth their while.

Before I take a look at their new single, which I have not yet listened to, I want to take a look at the An Cafe releases that I neglected to pay attention to before. I only watched the PV for their first post-Bou single once, and it took quite awhile before I remembered to look up the single after that (and I only watched that once, too). Neither of those are the worst part: I still haven’t listened to the band’s last album with Bou. At the time, I was waiting to buy it before I listened to it, but then I never got around to buying it. I think this is highly overdue.

I was pretty upset when Bou announced that he was leaving the band, but it was his decision, so I was able to come to terms with it. At least the band wasn’t disbanding! I was surprised when both a new guitarist and a keyboardist were added to the band, but I hoped that they would do well and I was willing to give them a fair chance. I still haven’t seen much of them today, so it would probably be best for me to look up live clips in order to get a better feel for who they are and how they play and perform. For now, though, I’m just going to watch their last couple of PVs and catch up on what I’ve missed with the band.

I’m just finishing listening to Magnya Carta now. It actually isn’t all that impressive to me. The songs are typical fun Antikku, but not much more than that. I think I was expecting a bit more, but by no means is it bad. Maybe I would have liked it more at the time it came out. I’ve fallen so far out of An Cafe mode since then. I need to get back into it now, especially with their new album coming out soon. But yeah, my favourites of this album are definitely the album tracks. “Maple Gunman” is probably my favourite track of the album, and I think it was one of my first An Cafe songs, too.

So, the first release with Yuuki and takuya was the single “Kakusei Heroism ~THE HERO WITHOUT A “NAME”~”, released last August. “Kakusei heroism” means “awakening heroism,” according to the wiki. (Excuse the poor quality of my screencaps in this entry; the videos came from Youtube.)

The song brought me some relief when it first came out: Antikku still sounded like Antikku. That was what really mattered to me. Yes, a band needs to grow and evolve over time, and this includes their sound. But as a fan, I was still dealing with the change of the band’s lineup, and a new sound really wouldn’t have made me feel too great about the way the band was going. I felt better once I heard the typical Antikku sound of the song. That said, it’s not the most exciting song they’ve made. It’s catchy and good, but almost any of their previous singles that you can name blow it out of the water. Others may disagree with me, though. That’s only my opinion on this song and previous ones.

The PV is pretty boring by An Cafe standards. They’ve had all kinds of crazy and awesome PVs where they run around, fool around, dress up, and act out funny scenes. The PV doesn’t have much of anything going on in it, so it’s not very noteworthy. The only shots other than the band shot are of the members in a mirrored room, looking around. Miku’s “curious” look is adorable, of course, because he’s always adorable, and Kanon’s is downright hilarious. takuya’s isn’t too interesting, Yuuki makes a hand gesture, and Teruki appears to look back at himself in one of the mirrors, and doesn’t seem too happy. Teruki’s shot actually interests me the most, since to me, the fact that he’s the oldest member of the group really comes across in that shot. He seems grown up. But he’s a cool adult, of course. The rest of Antikku? Children, all of them. Well, maybe not Yuuki, but I haven’t quite been able to figure him out yet. Bou is closer in age to Teruki than Miku and Kanon, and I kind of looked at him as Teruki’s wife while he was in the band. (I’m an awful fangirl, I know. Hopefully you’ll continue reading even if you aren’t like me.) They were like the more grown-up married couple while Miku and Kanon were the kids. But Bou was like a giggling high school girl sometimes. Teruki is the only one who’s always seemed like an adult. Well, except for when he did a nose-picking pose in that one photoshoot. Okay, whatever, his hobbies are “liquor and nature appreciation,” he’s the old man and that’s settled.

An interesting moment is when Miku appears in the front and the rest of the band is CG’d in behind him, and there’s a CG breaking glass effect. Is this to signify that they’re breaking away from the old Antikku and emerging as a new band? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the J-music blogosphere, it’s that reading too much into music videos is essential for ultimate enjoyment of them. And such symbolism would be appropriate, since this was their first release with this new lineup.

Next up is the single “Ryuusei Rocket”, which the wiki tells us means “Falling Star Rocket”.

I like this song much more than Kakusei Heroism. While the previous single seemed a bit boring and maybe even a tad unpolished in certain aspects (the melody of the chorus, in particular, stands out as not being up to the same standard as other Antikku singles) to me, this song doesn’t have that problem. While it’s still not one of their most compelling A-sides, it’s unique enough to distinguish itself from other songs with a sound of its own, while still maintaining the An Cafe goodness. But it’s the keyboard and guitar solos that totally win me over, which is a GOOD thing, since I want to like Yuuki and takuya. The keyboard solo is nice and pretty, leading into the guitar solo that starts out fairly typically and then becomes really good, to the point that I start going “Wow!” in my head as I listen to it. The keyboard is proving to be a great addition in this song. I really like the whole song overall, and while I don’t really care enough to download Kakusei Heroism, I’ve actually taken the time to find an mp3 of and download Ryuusei Rocket, because I like it enough that I want to listen to it and have it on my iPod. I’d expect that of an An Cafe single, but it’s important to note that I just didn’t really feel that way about Heroism. I’ll admit that Ryuusei didn’t grab my attention a whole lot the first time I listened to it, but I must have been distracted at the time, since I quite like it now!

The PV is also a marked improvement from Heroism’s. This is one of those An Cafe PVs that features Emo!Miku and his daydreaming. Similar PVs include “Escapism”, in which the others attempted to cheer up Emo!Miku, and “Snow Scene”, in which Emo!Miku sat in a bathtub and daydreamed about sharing coffee with the person who we can assume left him. In this PV, Emo!Miku is actually surrounded by his band members, but he is still emoing as they stare at the starry sky. I’d say the fake stars are a metaphor for something, but I think it’s really just typical An Cafe PV cuteness. To be more interesting, though, I could say that they symbolize the way that everything beautiful that makes Emo!Miku happy is ultimately fake, and this realization, and the realization of this is what has caused him to go into Emo!Miku form. That’s a bit too emo for an An Cafe PV, though. The rest of the band members don’t look particularly unhappy.

Then, Miku puts his head down and daydreams about sitting at a kitchen table with his bandmates, all of them dressed as rabbits and mixing bowls of what looks like frosting. The PV basically becomes crack at this point. YAY CRACK! A little crack is exactly what this PV needs! They all seem quite content as they mix their frosting in their rabbit outfits. All hell breaks loose when Yuuki decides to fling some frosting at Teruki. Teruki makes a very cute face before he counterattacks, and them some of it hits Kanon and Kanon throws some at takuya and a full-on frosting fight begins! I give props to them for the food fight idea; that’s a good one that I’m almost surprised they didn’t come up with sooner. Teruki’s peace sign flashed at the camera at one point kind of breaks the fourth wall, but that’s okay. They’re Jrockers. Breaking actual walls in a PV would be normal for them, too.

At the end, Emo!Miku wakes up from his daydream and looks back up at the sky…only it appears that this was actually a dream that the bunny suit Miku was having after falling asleep at the kitchen table! Sleepy bunny Miku is very cute, may I add. Interesting twist, though! Since the kitchen table is clean in this last shot, it must be that Miku has fallen asleep waiting for the rest of his bandmates to come over for their…baking session. And then he has a dream within a dream that’ll just confuse him a little when he wakes up. He must not have slept long enough the night before. Perhaps he was out buying frosting mix.

I definitely like Ryuusei a fair bit. The PV even has some of those unexplainable moments that just make me fall in love with whatever person I’m watching a little bit more, something I love to see in PVs; one particular Miku moment comes to mind. He’s not doing anything in particular that’s different from the rest of his performance, but for some reason, when he sings that one syllable, I love it.

As for Yuuki and takuya, I think we’re seeing a lot more personality so far from Yuuki than takuya. Yuuki’s the one who immediately sticks out because of his rather odd look, but he also gestures more in the PVs, which shows confidence in his performance. Also, starting the frosting fight gives him some points. takuya hasn’t done a whole lot that’s very interesting in the PVs yet, but I’ve noticed that during the band shots, he seems to be really focused on playing his guitar, and he’s putting all of his efforts into it. He’s concentrating on it, but he’s also getting really into it, and you can tell that turning out a good performance is something that really matters to him. It’s obviously working; I was very impressed by his guitar solo in Ryuusei. I’d like to see more charisma from him in future releases, but he’s doing well enough so far. And Yuuki’s keyboarding sounds good, too, so he’s also doing well.

Oh and hey, Miku legs. Excuse me for lapsing into fangirliness, but he looks hot in this video.

When there’s a change in a musical group’s lineup, the group members need to adapt to their new lineup and find their way again, so the new lineup can be just as successful as the old one. An Cafe have a history of great music and fun PVs, and now they have to figure out how to keep it going with this lineup. Kakusei Heroism was very easy and safe - they didn’t take many risks or do much of anything in the PV - and Ryuusei Rocket was a lot better, but still not as immediately exciting as past Antikku releases. They’re obviously adjusting, though, and I’m hoping that the third time will be the charm with their third single with this lineup, which I am going to check out now that I’ve finished this review. I believe that these guys can do it, and I look forward to seeing what their latest single is like, and what the upcoming album will sound like. Expect a review of the new single soon! And more regular updates.

Miyavi is one of those performers who I just have an unconditional love for. His talents are amazing, and he’s a pretty amazing person, too. He often acts like he’s about 10 years younger than he is, and for some reason it’s not annoying with him, but incredibly endearing. While I’m okay with never meeting a lot of musicians I listen to, he’s one of the ones I really want to meet, because just being able to talk to him would be amazing to me. I could listen to him sing and play guitar all day, and his lyrics and blog entries alike have often made me smile.

When I first started listening to Miyavi, MYV Pops hadn’t yet been released. I fell in love with his indie albums and his first major album immediately. Today, most of my favourite songs of his are still from those albums, though he’s released some wonderful songs since then. But after “Kimi ni negai wo,” which was gorgeous, I found that I had trouble getting into a lot of his new releases. I’ve had mixed feelings about the neo visualizm style he’s been doing since the fall; some songs, like “Sakihokoru hana no you ni” and the covers of his own songs on 7 Samurai Sessions, were pretty nice, but others just didn’t do it for me.

But here we have it: his best release since Kimi ni negai wo.

“Hi no hikari sae todokanai kono basho de” means “In this place that even the sun’s light can’t reach” (or maybe “doesn’t reach,” but either way probably works). The title alone tells you that this is going to be a very different song from his last single, “Subarashiki kana, kono sekai -WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD-”. When Miyavi gets into moodier lyrical content, the results tend to be brilliant, and this is no exception.

The tone of the song is set right off the bat with the acoustic guitar. The music has a feeling to it that invokes thoughts of a kind of lonely, longing sadness; I’ve heard Jrock songs with this kind of feeling before, but I’m not sure I’ve heard it in a Miyavi song. Everyone feels this way at some point, so it’s important that there’s music like this to express these feelings and help us work through them. The guitar and vocals are both very calm at first, and Miyavi’s voice is lovely when he sings quietly like this. A bit of the DJ scratching Miyavi fans have become used to in his neo visualizm era comes in after awhile, but it only adds to the song nicely. There’s a lovely calm balance going on at the beginning that reflects a quiet, contemplative stage of loneliness.

Then the chorus comes, and the song gets louder. The electric guitar comes in, the rapper guy starts talking/rapping/whatever you want to call it in the background, and Miyavi’s voice grows louder, less calm. The build-up to the chorus is great, and the melody of the chorus is really nice, especially the longer notes that Miyavi holds. He starts some of his more emotional singing here. The rapper guy’s voice is quiet and not overpowering, so I don’t mind him here, and he actually adds to the song positively (I don’t care for him much in other songs), adding another element to the chorus instead of stealing the spotlight. In certain parts he kind of sounds like a seagull in the background to me, which you’d think would be weird, but I actually like it. He’s mostly yelling in the background, but it’s been made very quiet, so it sounds kind of like a yell in the distance, which adds to the emotional feel of the song (like he’s is out there alone, yelling, hoping their voice will reach someone). And I especially like what the guitar does around 1:48.

After the chorus fades out, the song picks up speed. First the acoustic guitar comes in faster-paced than before, and then comes the electric guitar and everything else, more aggressive than before. The song changes from having a calm, sorrowful feel to a more angrily upset one. The mental image I have of a person walking alone sadly turns into one of them yelling, crying, and thrashing around, letting out all of their feelings. It’s like the next stage of the loneliness that the song is expressing. Miyavi’s voice is fairly calm in the next verse, but louder than in the first one, to match the instrumental. The energy and emotion in his vocals picks up a bit in the pre-chorus, leading us into a more aggressive chorus than the first one, which is even more satisfying to listen to. It goes into a new part after the chorus, where he’s holding and hitting some great notes that add even more emotion to the song. At the end of this part, he holds this wonderful higher note over some acoustic guitar that leads into the next instrumental part, full of loud electric guitar that sounds amazing. Even the drums leading into the louder part sound perfect to me. Every little detail of this song is terrific and fits perfectly with the rest of it.

Miyavi comes back in sounding angrier than he has yet in this song. From the time the song first picks up the pace, the passionate, angrier emotion builds up, becoming more and more powerful as the song continues. By the time it gets to the last chorus, everything is powerful and aggressive and amazing. Miyavi’s vocals and the electric guitar both take my breath away. The note he hits in the part that starts at 4:50 has a really good emotional effect, and the last note he hits in that part, at 5:03, is just perfect, turning into a yell as the whole song reaches a passionate peak. I can’t help but call this perfect, and I haven’t felt this inspired by a Miyavi song in quite awhile. Everything from this point until the ending is so brilliant it leaves me in awe. The song ends with the first line of the first verse, his vocals quiet again over a louder instrumental to bring yet another emotional effect, and then the whole song ends on the last syllable, all at once.

This is exactly what I’ve been waiting for in terms of Miyavi’s releases. I looked up the “WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD” single just before I looked up this one as I began catching up on Jrock singles I’d missed, and it didn’t do much for me at all. I felt a bit discouraged by it. But then I listened to this, and it blew me away. I don’t even believe that this review can do the song justice, but I figured I’d try to describe what the song makes me feel, anyway. You really need to listen to the song for yourself and see how it makes you feel. But god, I’m just so, so impressed by it. Thank you Miyavi, Sugizo, rapper guy, and everyone else playing on it, for bringing us this amazing song. (I haven’t really mentioned Sugizo in this because I just don’t know a lot about him - don’t worry, of course I know who he is, I just haven’t been exposed to much of him - but I certainly appreciate his contributions to the song.)

The PV fits the feeling of the song very well. When I first listened to the song, I fell in love with Miyavi and his music all over again, but now I find that there are multiple moments in the PV (which I was distracted from, when I first watched it, by the amazing song) that also make me fall in love with him again - and again, and again. The moment at 0:50 is a good example, but after that I lose count pretty quickly, because there are just so many terrific Meev moments in this PV. He’s smirking and singing and gesturing like he always has, but I sense this newer maturity and a higher level of confidence that comes with it, and it’s wonderful to behold. The band shot is the best example of this, but throughout the PV he is amazing. (I’ve been using the word “amazing” a lot in this review, but that’s what this single is, so I can’t help myself.) The shots of Miyavi walking (with his guitar, of course) and the place where he is in these shots perfectly fit the song. I like the dancing person draped in black fabric, and the little girl is no surprise in a Jrock video, but doesn’t seem like an annoying Jrock PV cliche or anything. The best moment with her is near the end, right before the best part of the song, when Miyavi sings a line that means something like “Will you let go of this hand?” (I’m not totally sure; I’m only in my second year of Japanese school) and he’s in the shot with the girl, taking her hand and staying beside her. A bit after this there’s a shot of a helicopter, which makes me wonder if Miyavi and the girl are going to be rescued from this place they’re in. This is probably a metaphor for someone coming along and rescuing another from loneliness (I do get a bit of a sense of hopefulness in the music towards the very end of the song, too), making the rest of the PV a metaphor for that loneliness and the way it feels. Again, the PV fits the song perfectly. Not seeing Sugizo there, but oh well. His contributions to the song itself are what matters.

Add to all of this a nice, simple acoustic B-side (”My name iz Oresama.com”, a title deserving of an lol) and this is probably going to be my first purchased Miyavi single. (I’ve only bought albums of his before.) I’m going to have to get the version that comes with a DVD, since I love the PV so much too. This has become one of my favourite Miyavi songs, not just my favourite of his recent stuff, and now that I’ve seen how good he can make this neo visualizm style, I hope that future neo visualizm releases are also this good. I was surprised by how (one more time) amazing this song is, but I probably shouldn’t have been. After all, this is Miyavi we’re talking about. I can always trust him to do a damn good job of what he does, even if there’s a single here or there that isn’t brilliant. I am, without a doubt, one happy Miyavi fan right now. =)

The name of this blog comes from a misheard Dir en grey lyric. That concept might seem completely tiresome to some of you, but being the hyper person that I am, I’m all for the amusement. In the song “Disabled Complexes” on Diru’s most recent album, The Marrow of a Bone, the line “The world is full of psychos” sounded like “WHAT IS PILLOW FIGHT!” to me when I first heard it, and I’m still entertained by that. Dir en grey are important enough to me that the line seemed good for the blog’s name. Diru are also the only Jrock band I’ve seen live (so far). Meanwhile, the current header picture features Miyavi, another of my first Jrock loves. Aside from them, I also listen to a lot of Gackt, L’Arc-en-Ciel, HYDE, An Cafe, the Gazette, and alice nine. I tend to get really into certain bands/artists and listen to a lot of them and not much of anyone else, but there are always a few songs here and there that I like by a lot of different bands; a few bands that I want to listen to more of are MUCC, Kra, and Kragrra,. In some ways I’m still a bit of a Jrock n00b, I guess, despite having listened to the genre for a little over two years now, but I mostly just know what I like and stick to that. I think that’s okay.

As for those of you who don’t know me as a blogger already, hi, my name’s Julia, nice to meet you! I’m 17 years old and Canadian, and writing is one of my passions, along with singing, music, and performing. Aside from music blogging, I also write a lot of stories, and basically whatever a person can write. Allow me to plug my Youtube channel, where you can check out some of my singing (though it’s mostly Jpop that much of the audience I’m hoping this blog will reach probably doesn’t care about). I’m really excited to be starting this blog - I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile - and I hope that you’ll enjoy what I’ve got to say here!