tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-196160052012-01-27T00:32:11.974-08:00A collection of Pinoy 's funniest jokes and picturesAlfiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15708189894439073667noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-66111813517020161712008-03-24T10:05:00.000-07:002008-03-24T10:06:06.897-07:002008-03-24T10:06:06.897-07:00

kung nag GA-Y LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM! GMA: hallow gracia!GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva eke k.GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!GARCI: anufi ate.GMA:

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-10206858594493842512008-03-12T05:48:00.000-07:002008-03-12T05:50:00.653-07:002008-03-12T05:50:00.653-07:00

a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:BOSS: If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, b-ra, pan-ty!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-20712945277321522892008-03-03T16:39:00.000-08:002008-03-03T16:47:58.412-08:002008-03-03T16:47:58.412-08:00

Se - xy girl nagkukumpisal:PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?SE - XY: father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya mags - ex!PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga?

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-33010927353724335492008-02-28T16:25:00.000-08:002008-02-28T16:26:24.188-08:002008-02-28T16:26:24.188-08:00

GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-61375145601722691542008-02-17T14:59:00.000-08:002008-02-17T15:02:33.147-08:002008-02-17T15:02:33.147-08:00

BOY: is this your first time?GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me the same question. Paulit-ulit. Hmp!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-45303725712850217632008-02-14T16:48:00.000-08:002008-02-14T16:59:17.902-08:002008-02-14T16:59:17.902-08:00

imagine if all straight guys are talking in ga - y lingo.STUDENT: bakit di mo chinuva yung girlalu? Malaki naman ang susey ng lola mo ah.HUNK: Winnie cordero nga dude sa susey, Melanie marquez naman sa brainwaves. Wit na.Jaworski while coaching: keber sa kalaban! Just focus! We cannot afford to luz valdez ! Getlakin niyo yung last freethrow! Windangin yung mga julaban! Ok! Go for the gold to the

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-17286101133134186482008-02-13T16:53:00.000-08:002008-02-13T16:54:34.586-08:002008-02-13T16:54:34.586-08:00

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-81572807869584054982008-02-12T17:01:00.000-08:002008-02-12T17:02:45.264-08:002008-02-12T17:02:45.264-08:00

INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.[pagkatapos tawagan.]ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi?ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-51608235642856381522008-02-10T15:22:00.000-08:002008-02-10T15:23:37.419-08:002008-02-10T15:23:37.419-08:00

Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman gave birth.BISITA: pwedeng makita ang baby mo?MOM: mamaya na.30 minutes after...BISITA: pwede na bang makita?MOM: oo, pero hintay muna tayo na umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung saan ko linagay.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-20267079317087010182008-02-07T16:40:00.000-08:002008-02-07T16:41:27.187-08:002008-02-07T16:41:27.187-08:00

DOC: umubo ka!PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!DOC: ubo pa!PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!DOC: okay.PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?DOC: may ubo ka.

alfienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-12904118776599605202008-02-06T16:46:00.000-08:002008-02-06T16:48:14.587-08:002008-02-06T16:48:14.587-08:00

BOY: I know we are also matter we can't occupy the same space at the same time. Kaya aalis na lang ako.GIRL: bakit ganun para tayong mga parallel lines, why can't we meet at the same point?BOY: your verbs and actions are not correct that's why all of the subjects are affected.GIRL: ayoko na. you've reached my boiling point. And now my heart is getting to its freezing point!

alfienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-53078236513766513602008-02-06T00:15:00.000-08:002008-02-06T00:17:09.653-08:002008-02-06T00:17:09.653-08:00

-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-2114007302897040362008-02-04T16:33:00.000-08:002008-02-04T16:34:15.787-08:002008-02-04T16:34:15.787-08:00

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?DR: alin, yung bakla?NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-73189152479339270052008-02-03T15:38:00.000-08:002008-02-03T15:39:09.554-08:002008-02-03T15:39:09.554-08:00

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?ERAP: . (di nagsasalita)JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-39661795119401585782008-02-02T16:19:00.001-08:002008-02-02T16:19:55.114-08:002008-02-02T16:19:55.114-08:00

Sa loob ng Mall....GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-29145889670853127872008-01-31T16:51:00.000-08:002008-01-31T17:03:00.965-08:002008-01-31T17:03:00.965-08:00

Magsyota naglalakad sa park: GF: Hon, ihi muna akoBF: Dyan ka nalang sa damuhan...Habang umiihi, kinapkap ni BF ang legs ni GF nang may mahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna nito...BF: Anak ng?! Bading ka ba o nagpalit na ng kasarian??GF: Sira! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon. Tumatae na ako.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-71322145286240878002008-01-30T18:37:00.000-08:002008-01-30T18:38:56.223-08:002008-01-30T18:38:56.223-08:00

BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.GROOM: Kaya mo ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas? BRIDE: Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-81002980453991101392008-01-29T16:29:00.000-08:002008-01-29T16:30:35.328-08:002008-01-29T16:30:35.328-08:00

ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.TATAY: ano ung danktrak?ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin.TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-4128046477110422702008-01-28T21:49:00.000-08:002008-01-28T21:50:42.439-08:002008-01-28T21:50:42.439-08:00

SALESGIRL: sir, you can't smoke here.CUSTOMER: but I bought these cigars from your store.SALESGIRL: we also sell con-doms, but it doesn't mean you can f*ck here.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-61926641413966546342008-01-27T19:26:00.000-08:002008-01-27T19:27:37.377-08:002008-01-27T19:27:37.377-08:00

AMO: inday, kunin mo nga yung VOGUE magazine!INDAY: mam, vogyu hindi vog.AMO: inday, vog ang tamang pagbigkas.INDAY: o sige na nga mam VOG na, there's no need to ARG.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-37559575635525708342008-01-26T22:21:00.000-08:002008-12-11T23:00:27.378-08:002008-12-11T23:00:27.378-08:00

To participate is very easy: just view the attached photo, correctly answer the following questions & send your answers to:The International Olympic CommitteePrivate BagLa us anne, Switzerland Questions:1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?2. Which ones are male twins?3. Which ones are the female twins?4. How many women are in the group?5. Which one is the teacher?Good Luck!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-9051618557978120182008-01-26T16:25:00.000-08:002008-01-26T16:26:39.457-08:002008-01-26T16:26:39.457-08:00

what's worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating? >>>pag nakita mong kalahati na lang ang worm.

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-72767808964099685602008-01-26T05:43:00.000-08:002008-01-26T05:45:25.752-08:002008-01-26T05:45:25.752-08:00

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa museum, yung attendant nataranta.ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago!

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-44780900237499527902008-01-24T21:44:00.000-08:002008-01-24T21:47:22.004-08:002008-01-24T21:47:22.004-08:00

Overheard from a girl na galit sa kararating na boyfriend sa starbucks: GIRL: my God, you're so late. Where did you . . . where have you. . . where do you. . . san ka ba galing?

alfienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19616005.post-14647740735949140362008-01-12T18:07:00.000-08:002008-01-24T21:08:31.746-08:002008-01-24T21:08:31.746-08:00

Ito nga ba ang alamat kung bakit nagsi-sinungaling ang mga lalaki...???? Karpintero itong si Jojo at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isangbahay satabi ng ilog. Sa lakas ng pagma-martilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyoniya sa ilog. Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian angel niya, "Tutulungan kita,Jojo"...sabay lundag sa ilog. Lumabas ito na me hawak na gold hammer, "Ito ba angmartilyomo?".

alfienoreply@blogger.com2