release the old so the new may begin

It’s all about protection.

Remember: yearning is not a problem to solve; it’s something to surrender to.

Just accept that you’re longing for something. Just accept.

I often tell myself when I am in that frame of mind, “I know you want that…I know you are longing for it.” Just by acknowledging the depth of that feeling I am more able to then move my physical body into a new activity and get back into daily life.

life is to be lived

It is really, really hard some days. Things I do to surrender to the yearning and the longing is that I focus on each day’s “simple pleasures.” At the end of the each day I make a brief list of the day’s simple pleasures, what I’m grateful for, things I might have normally taken for granted, everyday common things and experiences. I also started making self-care like good nutrition and restful sleep a huge priority, not turning down any social invitations, and, most importantly, to train myself that whenever I first become aware that I’m in that “longing” frame of mind, to get up, move around, and shift my physical energy.

Some days are harder than others but I’ve learned that I can’t spend my life sitting or laying about focusing on the yearning and longing for something. Neither can you.

If you’re yearning, you must surrender.

This is really hard for women. We’re taught all our lives to fit in. And when we feel like we don’t fit in, we aren’t comfortable enough with who we really are and letting that show. This is something that takes a lot of practice, ample doses of courage, and just doing it over and over again until we feel comfortable with standing out.

stand out

I have found that the very moment we feel most vulnerable and “different” is actually the most critical time to stand out and share our uniqueness.

I learned this lesson about a year ago at a book fair. I had arrived somewhat late and only had a few minutes to get my small booth and book display assembled before the book fair opened. Because I was in a hurry, I was very focused and just stuck to the task at hand. No talking, no wandering about the exhibit hall to check things out, no comparing and contrasting booths. When I finished, just in time, the doors to the book fair opened, and then, looking around, I panicked.

I noticed instantly that my book display and booth didn’t look anything at all like what the other book vendors had put together. Because this was my very first book fair, I felt instantly that I didn’t fit in, that I did it wrong, and that I was showing my naievete about the book business. I confided to a friend of mine who had joined me that I felt foolish for how my display looked compared to the others. I felt very uncomfortable.

be yourself

All the other tables simply had a stack of books on them and order forms. I wanted to change my display immediately! I wanted to fit in. I wanted to put the shiny, glitzy pinwheels I had brought to decorate the display with under the table along with the press kits, framed photos, Pinwheel Girl magnets and totebags! And many other “different” things I had used. Unfortunately for my own set of nerves, there wasn’t any time left for me to re-do what I had created. But, fortunately, this situation would create a learning opportunity for me.

For the first hour I worried that I was doing this all wrong, that I didn’t get it, that I didn’t know how to do a “proper” book fair. I was very concerned about how I was coming off in front of the other vendors. But as more and more traffic came to my booth and more and more positive interactions occurred, I began to relax, enjoy myself, and realize that both I and the booth were doing just fine. With each minute, I grew more and more comfortable, and felt more and more like myself. Because I was being myself and doing what rang true for me, by being different and unique, I was authentic with each person who came to my booth. The result was a stand out feeling, book sales, and a pitch to a major US publisher.

fitting in is overrated

Looking back, I am glad that I didn’t have the chance to change my display. If there had been more time, I might have. I might have given in to the enculturation of being like everyone else and finding comfort in that. But I learned on that day that it is best to stand out, even when you feel vulnerable, nervous and scared to do so.

When you stand out, you are being you.

You are being your true self. That’s the only way to be.

It’s essential to learn how. On top of being enculturated to always say yes, put other’s needs ahead of our own, & feel ashamed when we put ourselves first, we’re also overextended in today’s modern world.

slow down ~ say no

Without taking care of yourself, you’re no good to anyone else. It is NOT selfish to put yourself first. It is self-preservation.

Learn how to say NO.

Saying “no” includes everything from doing things for other people that they can do for themselves, over-committing yourself professionally, over-committing yourself socially by attending events and social functions you really do not want to attend, spending time with people I really didn’t want to be with, as well as saying no to poor sleep & rest routines, poor nutrition, and other poor self-care routines. When I got all of these things in order, my life balance and my physical and emotional energy sky-rocketed.

Say no to things that don’t resonate or ring true for you so you can say yes more often to things that do.

Say no to say yes.

Today my house is surrounded by “little birds” and I love it. I continue to be inspired by and spoken to by little birds on a regular basis. When I arrived home late this afternoon after watching my son’s double header in baseball, I saw five different kinds of birds gathering around my front door.

First I saw the chickadee feeding its babies in the box nailed to the porch post. It’s always a pure joy to see an adult bird feed grubs, worms, and insects right into the gaping mouths of baby birds. Out of the hole of the birdhouse a little open beak would appear.  Immediately an adult chickadee arrived to meet its need. In and out, up and down — this little scenario of nurturance repeated itself over and over again.

The chickadee encourages us to be truthful and cheerful in our expression

Then, I saw the bright yellow iridescent goldfinches feasting at my new thistle feeder just next to the colorful pinwheel under the living room window. Brilliant flickers of yellow flashing to and fro. Such beauty!

My eyes lifted upwards to see two mourning doves sitting on the top of the roofline — quietly observing everything. How I love to see the doves! My heart rises and then rests when they appear.

There was a robin pecking about in the front lawn. And then I noticed another chickadee perched on the brick pavers.

Finally, there were swallows flying about from roof to tree, from tree to windowsill, from windowsill to tree, and then from tree back to roof — like flight pattern practice.

I couldn’t help but watch from my car window, parked in my driveway, for a good long while soaking it all in.

When I got to my kitchen I heard the now familiar sound of robins through the open windows. So I stepped out onto the back deck to take a peek. Not only did I find robins perched at the very tips of the evergreen branches way out in back watching their nest of young in my shagbark tree, but they were also perching on my fence posts. And, there were two more mourning doves cooing together under the yew and four cowbirds pecking about in the back yard.

The mourning dove says release the past and embrace the future

So many little birds!  I was feeling very blissed out! 

I decided to find out what these little birds had come to tell me — and this is what I discovered.

Chickadee — This black-capped little sweetie of a bird stands for cheerful and truthful expression. While some people say that “the truth hurts” this little bird reminds us that when truth is spoken with kindness and compassion, it can offer healing and balance instead of wounds and pain.

Goldfinch — This beautiful little bird helps us connect to nature spirits and to keep remembering that, because goldfinches are rarely silent, nature is constantly speaking to us.

Robin — Robins are the traditional bird of Spring and as such they symbolize new growth. So, when robins appear you can expect new growth as well. They sing a cheery trill for their song which serves as a reminder to us to sing our own song and to sing it loudly!  The powder blue robin’s egg is also a symbol for creativity and bringing forth the new.

The robin encourages us to sing our own song

Swallow — The swallow represents protection and warmth for the home.

Mourning Dove — These beautiful, gentle birds are symbols of the “in-between times” because they appear most obviously at dawn and dusk, when we are neither in light or dark, day or night, but in-between. Because of this, mourning doves symbolize letting go of the past and embracing the promise of the future.

Cowbird — The cowbird is the smallest member of the blackbird family though it is not entirely black. It has a brown head. This bird symbolizes parent-child relationships. Because they usually deposit their eggs in the nests of other birds and then depart leaving the egg to be reared and raised by surrogate parents, cowbirds remind us to resolve old childhood issues of abandonment. They also make us pause to reflect on our own style of parenting.  Are we giving the right kind of attention to our own children?  Too much attention, or not enough?

These are all powerful messages from my little winged friends.

It is said that birds are the messengers between heaven and earth.

I believe that.

how often do you refill?

In addition to maintaining healthy habits regarding sleep, nutrition, and exercise, we also have to make sure we are making room in our lives for what gives us spiritual energy and emotional fuel.

Where do you go and what do you do to refill your tank?

It means we trust and believe in Life.

out with the old ~ in with the new

Holding on often means we value the past more than the new gifts Life wants to bring us.

Letting go creates new opportunities.

Nurse your way back. Hold your own hand.

nurture the breeze in your own heart

There is an internal mother who cares for you. She resides deep inside you.

She’s that Light that won’t go out no matter what.

look for the openings

Openings are regularly available to us.

Cultivate your courage and walk through them to the other side.

embrace the good ~ don't push it away

From now on, when the Universe sends you something good (a new person, an opportunity, gift, job, etc) embrace it, say thank you.

Bask in the idea that you deserve this goodness.