Adopted by the King

Lent—Day One

2012-02-22T14:12:00.001-06:00

A post about Lent! On the first day of the season! Can you believe it?

This is our first time observing Lent with the kids, and it’s the first year that I’m planning to observe this season of repentance with anything other than a fast. Here’s the plan:

I am fasting from skimming my facebook feed and watching internet tv other than the few shows I follow. I’m always moaning about the lack of time in my day—it will be interesting to see how much time I find away from internet distractions. I’m intending to use the found time for prayer, reading quality books, and gaining a better sense of how I can structure my day to the glory of God and the service of my family.
PJ is fasting from caffeine (brave man!). I, too, am cutting way back on caffeine, though for different reasons. My daily Coke (or two, or three) has turned into a full-blown physiological addiction which I would like to get rid of.
PJ and I are reading a chapter of Piper’s Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die each night.
As a family, we are going to do a short daily devotional. There are candles involved. Hopefully Emma will refrain from eating them as “cakee”.
We are planning to add Noel Piper’s Lenten Lights devotional during Holy Week, along with some kid-friendly activities.

I’m eager to spend these weeks intentionally preparing for Easter. Every year, Easter Sunday sneaks up on me, and the celebration of the single greatest event in history passes me by while I’m bogged down in the trappings of this life. As I write this, I’m reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote:

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

When Easter comes on April 8th, I want to be ready to fully worship my God and King for the miraculous, glorious work He has done through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. What pleasure of this world can compare to the joy of worshiping a risen, death-conquering Savior, in whom forgiveness and eternal life are freely given to all who believe?

I plan to update throughout Lent about our family’s experience. I hope you’ll join me in prayer that it doesn’t involve a trip to the hospital for a certain fire-eating, cake-loving, almost-two-year old.

A great post on Lent resources can be found here.

Brooklyn Sees, Emma Pees

2012-02-05T12:38:00.001-06:00

We’ve had two big events recently: Brooklyn got glasses, and Emma started potty training!

After PJ figured out that Brooklyn was having a hard time reading clocks, we took her to the eye doctor. Her need for glasses was confirmed when she gleefully announced to the doctor during the exam, “I can’t read the letters on the wall! There aren’t any there! You’re silly!” (They were there, several inches tall). She also confidently identified an animal picture as a duck (cat). We headed straight to pick out pink glasses, which Brooklyn absolutely adores.

I had been putting off starting potty training for weeks, but two weeks ago Emma dragged me into it. One night I let her try on her “big girl panties” and made a big fuss about her. That night, she took off her diaper in bed, wet the bed, and greeted me the next morning by saying, “Mama, I panties.” Ok. Can’t get any clearer than that! We said “bye-bye” to the diapers and haven’t looked back.

She’s doing an awesome job! This is probably aided slightly by our potty reward of M&Ms. She loves those things. I haven’t figured out how to break it to her that there comes a day in life when you don’t get a piece of chocolate for using the toilet instead of pants. Until then, though, she’s rather enjoying her “em-ees”

Because PJ and I have no idea what we’re doing, we decided that it would be a good idea to move Emma to a toddler bed at the same time as potty training. It’s been..interesting. We’ve had the usual walk-back-to-bed nights ( I think it took us an hour to finish a “Parks and Recreation” episode due to frequent visits from a little someone). Harley has also had a visitor to his room in the wee hours of the morning several times this week. Naptime now ends when Emma says it does, not when Mommy thinks it should. I’m glad to be through these changes, although I’ve shed a few tears about how fast my baby is growing up. She’ll be two next month!

I said “say cheese” and this is what I got :-)

Four of us have been fighting a nasty cold this week, so I’m very thankful for this day of rest. Naps for everyone!

How to Cry Your Way to Awesome Christmas Presents

2012-01-18T17:03:00.001-06:00

For the first three-and-a-half weeks of December, I had a cold that loved my body so much it decided to turn into a stubborn sinus infection. Awesome. After two weeks of being ignored, this lovely virus decided to fight dirty—aches, chills, headaches, etc. Of course, I did the sensible thing and took plenty of time to rest.

HA!

As every mom in the world knows, there is really no such thing as a sick day for mommies. The kids still want to eat. And we were out of important groceries. And Harley wanted me to frost a Tom and Jerry scene on a homemade cake for Cub Scouts. For the next day.

I did the mature thing and stormed out of the house to the store, spending the next hour grumbling about how NOBODY CARES THAT I’M SICK. On the way home, I broke down into a sobbing mess and called my friend Jaimie.

I know I’ve got a great friend when she answers the phone and lets me sob for five minutes before asking “do you want to talk about anything?” (a good question considering that I called her). I howled “noooooooooo!” into the phone and proceeded to cry louder before launching into my well-rehearsed self-pity monologue. Jaimie sweetly soothed my distraught self, half-jokingly promising to make me a t-shirt to wear in times of dire exhaustion that reads “I’m going to bed now!” I told her that I expected to receive just such a shirt at Christmas and promptly forgot about it.

But then Christmas came. And I opened THIS!

Yeah, that’s right. I have an incredible friend. And now, a shirt to wear that is a loud and clear signal to my family that I’m going to bed. Now. I can hardly wait for that next cold…or maybe I could just use the shirt to snag some time to tackle my sky-high reading pile.

Advent Rookies

2012-01-12T07:05:00.001-06:00

Advent is all about waiting in expectation, so it’s only fitting that I promise an Advent article and wait forever to post, right?! Well, wait no more.

For anyone who may not be familiar with this topic: Advent is a four-week season leading up to Christmas in which Christians celebrate the coming of Christ. We look back to the first Christmas when Christ was born to be the savior of the world, and we look ahead to His return.

PJ and I want to lead our children well in our celebration of Christmas. We are committed to making Christ’s birth the focus of Christmas, because without His birth, we would be devoid of hope and joy. This requires a sustained, intentional effort in the midst of hyper-commercialization and a busy time of year. It turned out to be so much harder than I anticipated!

Being the OCD planner that I am, coupled with my intense desire to do everything “the right way” as we form our family traditions, I started planning for Advent in September. I began here at this awesome blog, which became my main source of ideas. I also re-read Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper. Armed with these resources, I formed The Perfect Advent Celebration Master Plan.

How our family would celebrate Advent (in my mind, far from reality):

From the beautifully wrapped pile adorning the coffee table, we select a Christmas book to unwrap and read each day.
We spend time together as a family every day, doing a fun Advent-themed activity.
Each night before bed, we have a lovely, peaceful time of family devotions in which we sing carols, memorize Luke 2, and discuss the mystery of the Incarnation.
PJ and I read Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, a wonderful Advent devotional. While reading the thoughts of great Christians, we deepen our relationship with the Lord and each other.

How our family actually celebrated Advent:

I got Christmas books, but neither wrapped them nor read them with the kids. (WRAP twenty books? Who am I kidding??)
I made a calendar of fun activities. Then I remembered how crazy-busy our days were. I think we did two activities?
We had a few family devotions. Emma tried to eat the Advent candles. Multiple times. While they were lit. She’s certain they are cake. Today, Brooklyn said she had no idea what we celebrate at Christmas. Sooo…there’s always next year?
PJ and I made it halfway through the devotional. I may have fallen asleep in the middle of half of the readings that we actually did.
The kids and I memorized about half of the Luke 2 passage. Harley recited it at a family Christmas, and he did a great job! Minor success! YES!

What I learned from our first year:

Advent is an essential celebration. It is absolutely worth the effort to celebrate well. I really want to pass on a love for this special season to our kids.
December is a really busy time. We will always be too busy to focus on Advent unless we properly prioritize it. To address this, I’ve scheduled for our family to take a vacation from school from Thanksgiving through the New Year. (Year-round school—another post, another time!)
I’m really looking forward to next year!

So that’s it. Thoughts? Do you celebrate Advent? Do you have any ideas to share?

I Love My Brooklyn

2011-12-15T13:23:00.001-06:00

Brooklyn drew this last night, and I thought it was pretty precious. I particularly like that she calls her siblings “my Emma” and “my Harley”.

December, So Far

2011-12-13T14:21:00.001-06:00

Thanks to all of you who have asked how we’re doing. We’re doing…really well. I’m so thankful for this calm season in our lives after all the stress and craziness of the past seven months. The kids settled down almost immediately after the adoption, which has helped our day-to-day routine immensely.

Post-CPS:

I don’t freak out when Emma bumps her forehead after jumping out of her high chair. She’s one! She’s going to have some bumps! Now it doesn’t result in a multi-county paperwork and phone call frenzy.
No one comes to my house to privately question my kids about their opinion of my parenting.
Goodbye therapy! After much internal debate, I realized that I could decide what’s best for my family…which definitely isn’t a weekly three hour trip with a toddler to let my kids run around being rude egomaniacs.
We can now go to our Dallas psychiatrist four times per year instead of monthly!!! Again, anything to avoid a no-nap toddler, long car trips, and kids who turn rude and crazy in the presence of a mental health professional.
My inbox fills up with messages from friends and family instead of demands for (more) paperwork.
I’ve been able to read books to my kids, have friends over for dinner, wrap Christmas presents, and do many other things that didn’t make it into my crazy days before the adoption.
I was able to support PJ working more than a week of 12-hour days and taking an overnight trip without going crazy. This would NOT have been possible before the adoption when the kids were almost unmanageable and I was a wreck by 5 pm.
I stayed up all night with Brooklyn during a stomach bug and was less tired after two hours of sleep than I was every single day before the adoption.

The kids aren’t perfect. They’re still testing boundaries like crazy, but they are met with firm resistance that makes them uncomfortable enough to think before being disobedient and disrespectful. Our days are so much happier now that constant, drawn-out discipline is not the norm. We’ve had some really enjoyable times, and we’re loving celebrating Advent and focusing on our family.

Seriously, pictures are forthcoming along with a post about our first Advent season. Stick around!

Videos!

2011-12-06T19:57:00.001-06:00

Through Foster Parenting Podcast (can you tell I LOVE them?!), I came across a fairly new organization called ReGenesis Rising. They seek to provide support and community to foster kids who turn eighteen and age out of foster care.

The plight of these older kids is something that absolutely breaks my heart. For several years now, God has been growing an intense discontentment in me about this tragedy that is happening throughout our nation. I feel that He is not done using PJ and me in ministry to orphans—perhaps even to these older youth.

Will you go watch these two short videos? Does God want to use you to be a blessing to these almost-adults?

Part One

Part Two

This is How We Do It

2011-11-28T20:20:00.001-06:00

So, as previously mentioned, Emma is quite the eater. You can imagine that Thanksgiving was a wonderful event for her…

And when one hand isn’t enough, go for two.

She’s moving right along into speaking three word phrases. Tonight’s was “Mama, I cakee!” (I want cake. Now.) She also was quite proud to tell PJ, “Dada, I poo poo.”

Not to leave the other two out…

Aren’t they cute?!

Adoption Day

2011-11-26T11:08:00.001-06:00

For LOTS of pictures from Adoption Day, check out this slideshow!

Adopted!

2011-11-18T18:36:00.000-06:00

Praise Him from whom all blessings flow! We are a family of five Kings!

Introducing…

Boy… Vernon Ray King, IV (a.k.a. Harley)

Girl… Brooklyn Leigh King

Baby… Emma Grace King

We made it, y’all! Because God is so good.

Please join me in saying “GOODBYE CPS!!!” I cannot overstate the relief and joy that come with this sweet freedom.

Many more pictures to follow (we’ve had a lot happen in the last 7 months!). For now, we’re off on our first family vacation and looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving, as we have so much to be thankful to God for.

Tomorrow!

2011-11-17T21:11:00.001-06:00

We are EIGHTEEN hours away from finalizing the adoption! We are looking forward to 3:15 p.m. with great joy and anticipation!

Can I just say how excited I am…I’ve been preparing for our trip without packing one travel notification form, one medication log, or one locked toolbox for meds. Goodbye, paperwork! Goodbye, insane regulations! Goodbye, mandated appointments! I won’t miss you one bit!

Check back tomorrow evening for pictures of Boy, Girl, and Baby, along with an announcement of their names!

Homeschool Q&A

2011-11-14T13:31:00.001-06:00

And now…frequently asked questions!

Don’t you need a break from the kids?

Enhanced mental sanity is the single biggest temptation I face to send my kids off to school, along with the prospect of a real nap! But I really believe that homeschooling is best for our family at this point in time. The Lord uses all the challenges of homeschooling to sanctify me and bring me closer to Him. I have absolute faith that our family will be better off in spite of any sacrifices or challenges that homeschooling brings. Also, my husband is awesome at giving me breaks, which are needed quite often these days!

How long are you planning to homeschool?

Until it’s not best for our family.

How do you expect to socialize your kids? You don’t want your kids to be weird…do you?

Our kids are already weird. Sorry. True statement. I have a great post-adoption blog involving my kids, shiny objects, and high voltage fences. Seriously, though…they learn to interact with the world by practicing social skills within the safety of the family. We go to church. We play with friends. We go out in public when I am feeling particularly brave.
A fantastic point I picked up from The Well-Trained Mind (source of all things homeschooling/classical education) is that socializing kids almost exclusively with their same-age peers (as happens in traditional schooling) does not actually prepare them for real life. Once high school graduation happens, kids are suddenly expected to socialize with people of all ages and backgrounds in the context of higher education, business, and adult responsibilities. Why not start early on training our kids to interact with all ages in a variety of everyday settings?
Also, picking up most social cues from the just-as-confused peers…not always a stellar social education

What has been the hardest thing about homeschooling?

At this time, Boy is at home while Girl is in public school. This means we’re making all the sacrifices that come with two types of school, which leaves little time to enjoy the benefits of either! Our day is dictated by Girl’s schedule: getting up very early, rushed morning, Baby’s nap has to end by a certain time, spending an hour picking Girl up, filling our afternoon with homework and prep for the next day, and going to bed so early! And in between all of those time demands…homeschool, housework, and CPS requirements. My schedule is exhausting right now, but I’m looking forward to that changing soon.

During our hard times, it is extremely difficult to teach Boy. There are days when his behavior is so difficult to manage that I cannot teach him. There are some days when teaching him absolutely wears me out. It can be really difficult to persevere instead of running for my closet with a bag of candy and Netflix. But committing to teaching him at home means I actually have to teach him at home.

What has been easier than you expected?

I had no idea how many resources exist for homeschoolers! I didn’t know that you can buy curriculum that has each day laid out in an easy-to-teach format. Setting up a school at home has been much easier than I expected. A few minutes on Amazon, and all I need to teach my kids will show up at my doorstep. Our library is a fantastic resource as well.

Feel more informed? Still have burning, unanswered questions? Let me know!

9

2011-11-09T08:52:00.001-06:00

NINE days, y’all! We are in the single digits! Praise the Lord!

Because our God still works miracles, we should be completing our last big requirement before the adoption at 4:00 this afternoon. At this point, we will be in limbo between foster and adoptive status, but this meeting should bring about a reduction in paperwork and other CPS requirements. Woo!

Trusting in Him and counting the days!

Why We Homeschool

2011-11-07T20:51:00.001-06:00

We’ve been doing the homeschool thing for two months now, and it has been…interesting. Also challenging, time consuming, wildly frustrating at times, and overwhelmingly beneficial for our family.

We did not enter into parenting intent on homeschooling. We considered it to be one of several options, depending on the particular needs of our kids and of the whole family. At this point in our lives, it is the best option because it provides Boy with the structure, attention, academics, and bonding opportunities that he needs.

Boy did not really attend kindergarten or first grade, which means he didn’t understand second grade. During the time that he attended public school while living with us, he struggled significantly with the academic work and was constantly in trouble at school, not to mention his emotional difficulties that prevented him (and us) from making it through the school day unscathed.

After a lengthy appeal process this summer, CPS granted a very rare exception that allows us to homeschool Boy before the adoption is finalized. Our motivation for this was two-fold: first, Boy needed significant academic intervention that a classroom teacher could not (and should not be expected to) provide. Second, we missed the first eight years of his life—very formative years. We have a lot of bad parenting to override, a lot of training to provide, and a lot of bonding to do.

Why does homeschooling work for our family?

My awesome husband provides so well for our family, allowing me to stay at home to constantly nurture and train our kids.
We get to be part of a fantastic co-op, which provides both social opportunities and instruction in the subjects that are harder to prepare and teach to one child.
I get to adjust my kids’ education to fit their unique needs.
Our kids get to learn how to thrive in a functional (ha!) family all day long. Because they spent the first years of their life in a very toxic family environment, it is crucial that they now get every opportunity to learn about living in an intact family—their time is limited to learn this concept.
Putting forth the daily effort to homeschool helps the kids to trust us. When they see me make plans and follow through, they learn in small ways every day that they can trust as as their parents. Which is HUGE in our kids with their attachment/trust issues. (Parents haven’t always been trustworthy figures in their lives.)
In attending school at home, we know our kids are exposed to the same set of expectations all day, every day. There isn’t “school behavior” and “home behavior”. They get to practice one way of doing things.
We get to disciple them in the ways of the Lord all day. "Hear, O Israel:The LORD our God, the LORD is one.You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6: 4-7)

We are thankful for the freedom to teach our children at home, especially before they are truly “ours”!

Up next…a “frequently asked questions” post about homeschooling. So leave your questions!!

Listen.

2011-11-02T21:03:00.002-05:00

Through Foster Parenting Podcast, I came across a wonderful two-part interview of a couple who has adopted four kids from foster care. Have a free hour while you’re skimming facebook or driving to work? Go listen!

Part One (30 minutes)

Part Two (30 minutes)

Some take-away points:

Adoption is the gospel made visible. By saying “I love you and you are mine…forever” to a child, you are reflecting the glorious adoption we can have into God’s family through the precious sacrifice of Jesus. I once was lost but now am found in Him. I hope and pray that this message will resonate in the hearts of my children in spite of my many failures and imperfections through the grace of God.
There are 100,000ish kids in the United States’ foster system waiting for an adoptive home. There are over 300,000 churches—not Christians—not families—churches in our country. Christians, is the Lord asking you to follow Him in faith and obedience by opening your home to a child in need? Or by coming alongside an adoptive family through prayer and practical support? Don’t say “no” without really asking Him! (And thanks to the many who love and support our family!!)
Adopting a troubled child is hard. So hard. But our God prevails! He does not leave us or forsake us. He triumphs over sin and brokenness. Praise Him!
As usual, I started bawling when they talked of 17-year-olds being adopted…finally having a family…being able to know someone as Mom or Dad...being able to join their family for the holidays. Seriously! Can you imagine turning eighteen and being completely on your own? Do you have room for one more at your table before this tragedy happens?

I write this post asking you to seriously consider adopting a child while acknowledging that I hid from my own three in my closet this afternoon, eating Milky Ways as fast as I could unwrap them. Yep. My kids drive me crazy sometimes. As mentioned many times before, working with CPS is the guaranteed fastest way to insanity. I’ve wanted to quit so many times. But God said “follow Me”, and there is no place I would rather be than walking the path He has set before me.

Still not convinced? Check out this episode of Foster Parenting Podcast.

Laugh Because It’s Crazy

2011-10-30T16:54:00.001-05:00

Therapy on Thursday made the day very much a Thursday. It created a great need for therapy of my own in the form of chocolate and tequila, both of which my wise husband had waiting when I walked in the door with our little darlings. Sigh. Three more times?? However, the Lord graciously brought us funny stories to counteract the crazy, so enjoy!

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On Thursday night, I had a dream that I received the following email from our CPS adoption worker:

Dear Ms. King,

The crazy monkeys have told me that your adoption date has been delayed. I don’t know why. Sorry.

The thing is…I actually wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest to receive this email or to find out that (crazy) monkeys are in charge of CPS. Maybe things would be more organized if they were.

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We are dealing with defiance at every turn from Boy and Girl right now. Last week after dinner, as Girl was turning the table into a jungle gym, I said, “Ok, it’s time for the girls’ bath time! Girl, you need to come upstairs for a bath.” So of course, she didn’t come. And didn’t come. I gave Baby a nice long bath, trying to allow Girl time to make the right decision. But she didn’t. So I brought a clean Baby back downstairs, at which time Girl looked at me in shock.

“I want a bath now!”

“Sorry, honey. You chose not to come take a bath. You can try again tomorrow.”

“WHAT?!? But last time you gave me grace! I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME GRACE RIGHT NOW!!!” she screamed.

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it! Later in the evening, Girl and I had a brief chat about how much we need grace, that grace is always undeserved, and that screaming at someone is probably not a great way to encourage grace giving.

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Less than three weeks until the adoption! Praise the Lord!

October Happenings

2011-10-25T08:18:00.001-05:00

Thank y’all for praying! We are doing…better. We’ve actually had some sweet moments with the kids over the last few days--something that had become all too rare. Still counting the days until we’re a non-CPS governed family--24!

Here are some pictures from October. In less than one month I can post real pictures!

We took family pictures dressed in red and black.

We visited a pumpkin patch.

This weekend will be full of fun Halloween celebrations! Bring on the candy for my hyper kids with already rotten teeth

Crash Boom Bang.

2011-10-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

Sooo that light at the end of the tunnel? Turns out it was a freight train. Followed by a bus. And a semi.

Boy and Girl are deep in the midst of a season of regression. Hello ugly tantrums, toileting issues, lying, beating the dog, breaking things, and constant defiance and disrespect. We cannot determine any rhyme or reason…except for the fact that we are likely 30 days away from finalizing the adoption. 30 days from saying “yes” forever to all the craziness and brokenness that they bring mixed in with their sweetness. 30 days from forever raising them in a home where we are seeking to follow the Lord.

I’m guessing Satan is not ok with these kids being plucked from a broken pit and placed in a family where they can be exposed to the redemptive grace of the gospel daily. Not that PJ and I are awesome representatives of God…because we’re not…but we’re willing to be used by Him, hopefully to see these kids redeemed.

I know that so many of you pray for us. Thank you. Will you consider praying for us in these specific ways?

That no matter what the kids are doing, PJ and I would remember our calling to live a life worthy of the gospel and would respond in obedience to the Lord.
That Boy’s and Girl’s hearts would quickly be growing tender and open to the call of Christ. And that the truth of our love for them and of God’s love for them will penetrate their hearts and minds…so that they don’t feel the need to push us away with their insanity.
For protection of our family from spiritual attacks.

In other news…I’m in love with my borrowed steam cleaner. I plan to steam clean every surface in our house this week.

Alert! Mommy Resting!

2011-10-15T18:07:00.002-05:00

Last night, I got to sleep from 10 pm to 9 am!!! Thanks to my thoughtful husband and a wonderful little sleep-aid, I’m feeling so much more rested.

Sleeping for an extended time is something that has completely eluded me since becoming a mom. All three of our kids absolutely panic whenever they see me become horizontal or *gasp* close my eyes.

One day last week I was completely exhausted by the time PJ got home, though for no particular reason. He was checking his email on our bed, with Baby sitting beside him. I went into the room, crashed on the bed, and closed my eyes. Baby immediately started yelling “MA MA MA MA” and poking me in the eyes. When I ignored her, she proceeded to stand up, leap in the air, and plop all 30 pounds of herself down on my back. Ok. Fine. I’ll go cook dinner. Napping mommy crisis averted.

Last Saturday, my family was visiting and we all watched the OU-Texas game (BOOMER!). A few minutes into the game I got sleepy and decided to lie down on the couch (what?). Seriously, within two seconds both Boy and Girl were at my head, yelling, “Mommy are you trying to nap??” Then they announced to the room that I was napping. Then they patted my head. Then they argued over which blanket I would prefer. Then they checked every 30 seconds to see if I was sleeping (no). Then they announced my status to the room. When I headed to the bedroom, Boy and Girl decided that it would be an excellent time to start a 45 minute tickle fight, shrieking continuously at frequencies only dogs and napping mommies can hear. Then I grumpily stormed out of the bedroom, pouted on the couch, and chugged a Mountain Dew.

But oh today…PJ appeased Baby with cornflakes and Sesame Street and sequestered Boy and Girl upstairs. I awoke to a dressed Baby and breakfast cooking. I married a great man, y’all.

Baby is now banging on my door, furious that we installed doorknobs that thwart her. I think I’ll spend some time with her…

Don’t Adopt?

2011-10-13T13:13:00.001-05:00

Russell Moore, author of Adopted for Life (read it!), posted a great article with an accurate perspective on adoption.

“We need a battalion of Christians ready to adopt, foster, and minister to orphans. But that means we need Christians ready to care for real orphans, with all the brokenness and risk that comes with it. We need Christians who can reflect the adopting power of the gospel, which didn’t seek out a boutique nursery but a household of ex-orphans who were found wallowing in our own blood, with Satan’s genes in our bloodstreams.
If what you like is the idea of a baby who fulfills your needs and meets your expectations, just buy a cat. Decorate the nursery, if you’d like. Dress it up in pink or blue, and take pictures. And be sure to have it declawed.”

Read the rest of “Don’t Adopt!” here.

I’ve Spent 20 Minutes Trying to Think of a Title

2011-10-11T20:04:00.001-05:00

An update!

A neurology team evaluated Baby last week and cleared us to resume life as normal. After thorough testing and examinations, they feel that her seizure-like activity was almost definitely a one-time event. There is a slim chance of repeat seizures but no particular cause for concern! I don’t yet understand why the Lord threw us this curveball, but we’re so thankful to Him that our precious Baby is ok. Maybe she was just jealous that Boy and Girl get all the attention.
We are back on track for a November court date! Assuming CPS is now telling the truth, we should be headed to court to finalize the adoption in the first two weeks of November. I was able to secure a lawyer today to represent PJ and me. Bless that office—the wonderfully cheery assistant returned my call within hours, apologizing for the delay (what?). She then told me, “honey, I know you’re so ready to be done with this process. We’re going to do everything we can to finish up as soon as possible.” Oh, what sweet words to my tired ears.
We have had zero (yes, ZERO!) appointments for an entire week! Amazing…we managed to host family and friends, watch a great football game (Boomer Sooner!), take family pictures (they’re super cute!), take naps, go to the zoo, and go out to eat with friends. What a sweet taste of what life can be like post-CPS.
We ordered Halloween costumes on Sunday. Why are almost all the kids’ costumes slutty and/or scary evil?? I gave the kids two guidelines: the costumes must glorify God, and they must cost less than $20.

“Can I be the Grim Reaper?” Noooo. “Please?” Noooo.
“Can I be the Dark Child Bride?” No. Goodness no.
We ended up with one Superman, one rainbow princess, and one pumpkin. It is debatable as to whether Baby’s belly will fit inside the pumpkin suit. We shall see. Now if only I can stay out of the Halloween candy until then.

I’m beginning to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I had time to reorganize our pantry today (why yes, I am a bit OCD). I’m tentatively making plans to begin volunteering at a pregnancy center. My counter, clear of paperwork and to-do lists, is inhabited by birthday flowers and a pumpkin candle. The Lord has been merciful to provide a time of more rest and less exhaustion. Speaking of which, it is quickly approaching my new bedtime of 8:30.
And yes, last Thursday was definitely NOT a Thursday. It was a most excellent birthday and a definite encouragement to keep up with the no-more-Thursday changes. This Thursday does include therapy and foster licensing training, but it also includes my mom coming to spend the crazy afternoon with us.

“I will extol you, my God andKing, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.” Psalm 145: 1-3

I Refuse to Have Another Thursday

2011-10-05T20:58:00.001-05:00

Since school started in August, every Thursday has been a terrible day. Every. Single. One. Thursday is grocery store day, when my kids turn into monkeys, hell-bent on being anywhere but beside the basket. Thursday is the day after laundry day, which means my bed is piled six feet high with unsorted laundry. Thursday is the day before our homeschool co-op, which should mean I prepare my science lesson. (Because I would never procrastinate to the point of assembling science crafts at 6 AM on Friday mornings.)

And most of all, Thursday is therapy day. I. Hate. Therapy day.

So a few weeks ago when I realized that my birthday would fall on a Thursday, I immediately set about making October 6th distinctly not a Thursday. Which led me to making all my Thursdays from now on not Thursdays.

I have been meaning to try out a new grocery store and shop on a different day…done. Monday is now grocery store day at HEB, which many Texans know is a wonderful thing.

Two weeks ago, I stopped teaching Boy on Thursdays. I now teach four days of lessons in three days. On Thursdays, he does worksheets to review the week’s lessons, and we take library trips and do piano lessons as time allows.

I cancelled therapy for tomorrow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Seriously, all I wanted for my birthday was to not take the kids to therapy.

I refused to make any appointments for tomorrow. A weekday without appointments? Crazy.

PJ and I are going to a pregnancy center banquet tomorrow night! I get to have a meal with adults! There will be no hot dogs or spaghetti-os. No one will scream “MO MO MO MO” in an effort to get seconds. And I’m guessing no one will crawl under the table during dinner.

My sweet husband has already been working to make tomorrow a wonderful day for me. He arrived home tonight bearing a beautiful bouquet of pink roses. My gift, an iPod dock for the kitchen, arrived today and is now plugged in on the counter, ready to be enjoyed.

So as I turn 25 tomorrow, I will have the immense pleasure of knowing that this Thursday will not be a dreaded Thursday. I’m even pondering a nap…like a real nap in which my eyes are closed and I actually sleep. Don’t tell Baby. She can sense when my eyes are closing and feels a strong need to practice her banshee shrieks.

On any of my past birthdays, I could not have guessed that at 25 I would be a mom of three. Crazy. Weird. Wonderful.

Links, Because Nothing Else I Have to Say is Appropriate

2011-10-03T14:20:00.001-05:00

So, obviously, life is still crazy. September found us either in waiting rooms or hosting social workers. The first two weeks of October are much the same, though the end of the month is strangely empty. Due to a lack of integrity and diligence by CPS, our adoption process is in limbo. We were told we were on track to go to court in November and leave all this bureaucratic craziness behind…nope. Maybe before the kids turn 18??

While I’m on hold with multiple doctor’s offices, here are two links for y’all to enjoy.

The first was passed on to me by a sweet friend. By the time I finished reading the article, I was curled up on my bed, sobbing. The words of encouragement and the utter honesty from a fellow adoptive mom were such a blessing to me, and I hope they are to you, as well. Enjoy After the Airport.

The second article is one I found hilarious, so much so that I dragged it into the bathroom for PJ to read at 6:30 am while he was dressing for work. Ever taught a kid to read? Ever had it go like this?

Oh, Hello September

2011-09-10T21:55:00.001-05:00

Hello again! I feel like we’ve been even busier than usual over the last month (how is that possible?!?), so blogging hasn’t made it very high up on the priority list.

Since our ER visit…

Boy and Girl started school on August 22. Regression/crazy behavior ensued. Multiple people, including our therapist, asked me in a very concerned manner, “are you doing ok? Because your kids are…kind of crazy…and they must be really hard to take care of.”
We received CPS approval to homeschool Boy on August 26: a rare event in the foster world, but one we are so thankful for. I started the appeal process in early July. Our case manager and adoption social worker were both very supportive and worked to get the appeal moving quickly. I wrote hundreds of words regarding Boy’s need for individualized education and my plans to provide it, spoke to many CPS officials, begged God for a miracle, and waited. The appeal went through somewhere between five and ten levels of approval, up to the assistant commissioner of CPS in Austin. For us to receive permission to homeschool a foster child (CPS is not typically homeschool-friendly) speaks to Boy’s need for significant educational intervention. It was really a great encouragement to me as I take on the task of educating our son who missed kindergarten and first grade and didn’t grasp second grade. CPS really thinks that I’m the best person to do the job. Awesome, because that’s what I happen to think, too!
We got a call on August 27th from a local charter school saying that a spot for Girl had opened! We have been on the waiting list since receiving the kids in April, so we were really excited to be able to send Girl to a school with smaller classes, more individualized attention, and many staff members who have experience with foster and adoption issues. God’s hand over our kids’ education was so evident: we were only able to accept the charter school invitation because we found out the day before that Boy could be homeschooled. Without homeschool, I wouldn’t be able to have two kids in two different elementary schools on similar schedules.
Upon receiving homeschool permission, I frantically ordered curriculum materials, wrote lesson plans, and finished household projects and errands that I had started in my extra free time while Boy and Girl were at school.
On September 6th, Girl started her new school, Boy started homeschool, and Baby had an EEG as part of the follow-up for her seizures. Oh, what a crazy day! Baby had to wake up at 6 AM and stay awake until 2 PM (NO NAP!!!). It was my first day as teacher/mom, and my baby had to have 25 wires glued to her head so that we can figure out if something’s wrong with her brain. The day had all the makings of a disaster, but it was really a wonderful day. I know we were prayed for and shown kindness by many and given abundant grace by One.
We attended a foster care/adoption conference today. Left the house before 7 AM. Yikes! We got some good information, particularly about homeschooling older adopted children (very timely!), and were encouraged to hear from families who have survived similar or even rougher challenges with their adopted kiddos.
Oh, and we have a doctor/dentist appointment (almost all CPS-mandated) or social worker visit almost every weekday in September. Plus a three hour therapy trip every Thursday. And we’re starting Cub Scouts because Boy is required to be in a weekly structured activity because he’s hard to take care of (so we add more?).
I’m teetering on the brink of insanity due to the aforementioned schedule. Come adoption day, there will be no appointments unless I darn well feel like it or a child is bleeding in 7+ places. I can dream, right?
Last Sunday, we had to break into our own house. Yes, that’s right. I thought PJ had the keys. He thought I had the keys. We were both wrong. The van and house keys were locked inside. Not to be deterred from delivering three cakes to church and taking advantage of the hour in which wonderful people take care of and teach our children, my super awesome husband hammered the doorknob off the garage door, allowing us to retrieve the keys and be on our way.

I hope to blog about our homeschool experience as well as other things going on that deserve more than a bullet point. Don’t hold your breath, but don’t give up on me yet!

Untold Stories of the ER

2011-08-19T21:45:00.001-05:00

As you might be able to tell from my ability to post TWO book reviews, life has been ticking along (relatively) smoothly. We have plenty of ups and downs, and I’m more than ready to be done with CPS, but by God’s grace we’re doing pretty well. So, of course, we had to have some crazy random event to spice things up…

This morning I was in the kitchen helping the older two with breakfast when I heard PJ say, “Baby. BABY.” I turned around to see her staring blankly, unable to be aroused from her trance. We found her to be unresponsive to our voices, touch, and waving in front of her face. Her eyes were widely dilated. Yikes. Not normal. After 30 loooonnngg seconds, she came out of it and resumed eating and babbling.*

PJ and I discussed in the incident, debating whether to call the doctor immediately or watch her for awhile. And then she had another episode. And another. Ok, I guess we’ll call now. I called to let them know about Baby’s possible seizure activity, and they referred us straight to the ER. Awesome. I thanked them, hung up the phone, and burst into tears. I don’t do so well with change-of-plan medical emergencies. Yes, I worked in an ICU.

Thankfully, today was our homeschool co-op day, so we were able to drop Boy and Girl off for our regularly planned school day. It was such a blessing to leave them with sweet friends for a structured day instead of trying to corral THREE kids in a tiny ER room.

Long story short, we spent six hours in the ER, first ruling out meningitis with blood work, a CT scan, and spinal tap, then waiting four hours for the neurology team to give us a plan. Baby was a trooper, although she put up a mighty fight during the spinal tap. Her screaming tired her to the point of a two hour nap, thank the Lord!

We were sent home to resume life as normal until we can schedule an appointment with a neurologist. Baby has more testing, appointments, and medications in her future. We were told that the type of seizure that she had is “the best kind of seizure to have”, although it is very unusual for a child so young to have these type of seizures.

Today completely blindsided us, but even in the midst of the craziness we were able to see how gracious God was. We witnessed the seizures instead of completely missing them. The older kids had a place to stay. We live in a town with a wonderful children’s hospital, where we waited less than five minutes to get treatment started. Our family and church supported us throughout the day—we received so many offers of help, so many prayers, and so many words of encouragement. I knew that we would lack for nothing, no matter how the day turned out. We got to bring our baby home, where she has resumed stuffing her face, tearing the house apart, and shrieking at the top of her lungs in valiant attempts to get her way!

We will continue on this journey in the manner we started this morning—by faith—knowing that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

*PJ noticed the beginning of Baby’s seizure because he noticed her stop eating in the middle of a meal—an unheard of event for our kid who loves to eat!