This is the lowest of the low. The worst game I have ever played.

I have long wanted to do this for games that nobody plays anymore, probably the very first game I wanted to do. Now is the right time. In our giant industry of great communities branching together to make nice handshakes, Conflict Denied Ops is the type of game which spurs no community. It’s hard to believe that a studio executive somewhere, full of absolute control, commissioned this to be published. In fact I believe that the publishers, Eidos, have this to thank for their downfall. Kane and Lynch not so much (it had some good ideas), this just butchered everything I’ve come to expect from videogames. It comes to butcher ever ounce of coherence, every bit of rational, nothing is left. If this was the face of videogames, I would stop. Right there. If this was hailed as a good game, if one or two websites gave it any substantial reward, if my friends ever mentioned it; I would flip. Maybe it’s because I’m both passionate and crazy and sad about videogames, because I do care about the potential we have, but this is an absolute mockery of potential.

To begin to describe Conflict Denied Ops would be to point at a drab teenager with ‘Violence is Awesome’  on his t-shirt. If you ask him what his favourite game is he’ll say “Halo 3″ or “Call of Duty 4″, if you ask him what he thinks about videogames as an artistic expression and further as a means of message to tell a story involving deep characters and massive pacing within all qualities he will likely pull a quizzical look. This is why videogames suck. Our primary audience is, apparently, 12 year olds. We stuff games full of violence and incoherent themes, we don’t think about the consequences. Gears of War, Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, BioShock (yeah I went there), Madworld and thousands more all explore the same connective theme. Violence. Sometimes it’s used for actual effect (I’d say that BioShock would be a hallow game without seeing the blood stained bodies of civilians and listening to audio logs including them being strangled) but most of the time it is not used to explore any artistic merit. Violence should only be used when it satirizes something or only when necessary. This is where Denied Ops fails. Massively.

For starters, the opening cutscene includes a suggestion that one of the main protagonists shot John F. Kennedy. Nice. Clever joke gone wrong. I usually don’t ever critique a game with a bad story, as that isn’t it’s full intention, I will rip apart Heavy Rain but not Just Cause 2 because that makes it a comparison. You can’t compare Heavy Rain and Just Cause 2 at all in any sense. But here, I have to critique it, I have to call them out on their god-awful cutscenes, I have to rant, I have to shout from the heavens. While I was watching the promotional material and interviews for this game, before my friend and I played through it, all of them had a developer mention a ”complex story” and ”great characters”.

I am insulted.

More as a person than a gamer, that the developer thinks that I see upon these two indistinguishable characters (one of them is black, that’s really the only difference, seriously) a dash of greatness. That I see a complex story in an incoherent mess, that the plot is nothing more than a shell to drive the derivative shooting. I’ve written fiction for quite a while, I started when I was around 6, I have learned from past mistakes. I have developed ideas, changed my characters to suit their own purpose and not the direct narrative, through this I have made good stories. According to others opinion, my writing has potential, I have potential. I can tell you with absolute confidence that ten years ago, when I only begun writing, I could have written a better story than Conflict Denied Ops.

I have hundreds of ideas on pen and paper and iPod touch notepad apps, some of them are drab Tom Clancy inspired military style. Probably stuff I’ll never write. Some of it, however, has won me awards. I hate writing military fiction, but sometimes it can be quite juicy reflection unconventional themes. I told a whole story, for an hour, about the Iraq War from a child’s perspective. The last half was improvised (I’m a lazy writer), but it had taken me weeks to research. Two months even, I can’t fully remember.

Just imagine for one second the absolute effort that went into Conflict Denied Ops. Lets imagine the brainstorm sessions.

“Okay we’ll have it change perspectives!”

“Okay good idea.”

“Yeah lets have one guy have an semi-assault rifle which can fire at long distance.”

“Okay and the other guy?”

“Lets have him be a black man and have a light machine gun that HAS ZERO RECOIL (NO JOKE)”

“Okay.”

“Now lets have the level design to be a maze on the magnitude of having the players run around an environment for a WHOLE hour without a minimap to guide them.”

“Okay, what about the plot?”

“VENEZUELAN CONFLICT WITH DEEP MORALS AND DEEP CHOICES AND COOL CHARACTERS.”

“Sorry, what? Where you just reading the Mercenaries 2 Wikipedia page?”

“No.”

Lets just think for a second that this was considered to be a comedy, that the developers weren’t bothering for a second. Why would they advertise this to the press, maybe the guy being interviewed was put on the spot and just using buzzwords. Instead of using buzzwords how about you explain something that you game ATTEMPTS to do, go in depth about the shooting. Talk about co-operative player, talk about anything other than the story. Please, it’s an insult.

That’s not to even say the shooting gameplay can be considered an ‘attempt’, the light machine gun (basically a M60) has ZERO recoil. You can fire grenades whenever you want. Enemies take two hits, blah blah blah blah game is awful.

I’m giving up right here, this game is impossible to ‘Games That Nobody Plays Anymore’. It is an insult to the gaming industry, it is an insult to gamers everywhere, it is an insult to 12 year olds everywhere. The worst game ever made, including E.T and Superman 64. I even finished Sonic the Hedgehog. It was not an insult to my intelligence or even the gaming side of me.

Want to know what makes me feel better?

The developers had to close their studio. I’m not insulting the great men and women who worked in a creatively claustrophobic environment, I am insulting the few in the studio who attempted to craft a story. Do not sell me a story, sell me what you do best. Do not bother writing any dialogue, funnel me along a path and let me make my own choices.

Do you know what, just repackage it in the Heavy Rain box. Sell it as a story driven game, let’s just see what a massacre that gaming forum boards would become.

At least that would be more fun than playing Denied Ops

Game Review: Final Fantasy XIII
Release: March 9th, 2010
Genre: Role Playing Game
Developer: Square Enix
Available Platforms: PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360
Players: One
MSRP: $59.99
ESRB: Rating: Teen
Website: www.finalfantasy13game.com

Prologue

Cocoon – a utopia in the sky.

It’s inhabitants believed their world a paradise. Under the Sanctum’s rule, Cocoon had long known peace and prosperity.

Mankind was blessed by it’s protectors, the benevolent fal’Cie, and believed that tranquil days would continue forever

Their tranquillity was shattered with the discovery of one hostile fal’Cie.

The moment that fal’Cie from pulce – the feared and detested lowerworld – awoke from it’s slumber, peace on Cocoon came to an end.

Fal’Cie curse humans, turning them into magic-wielding servants.

They become l’Cie – chosen of the fal’Cie.

Those branded with the mark of a l’Cie carry the burden of either fulfilling their Focus or facing a fate harsher than death itself.

A prayer for redemption. A wish to protect the world. A promise to challenge destiny.

After thirteen days of fates interwined, the battle begins.

(Taken from the in-game booklet.)

I have to admit, taking this on after reading some pre-release reviews had me a bit worried. I had heard that some Final Fantasy series lovers would hate this game.  I had decided to take this game on as an unbiased reviewer, not a Final Fantasy lover, in case they were right.

But after a few hours in, I realized that this was another game that some reviewers had completely wrong.

Though it has both it’s ups and downs, it is an amazing game. If you haven’t decided on getting it or not, let me help you make up your mind.

The first thing you’re going to notice when starting FFXIII is the graphics. Absolutely fantastic! That’s all you can really say. Once again Square Enix is raising the bar on video games. Battle scenes take on the same look as their ‘movie’ scenes which makes the entire game flow so smoothly.

I think the story is excellent and I love the way all of the characters intertwine back and forth and meet up throughout the game. Also, you don’t play the same main character throughout the entire game, you switch between them so you can see what each group is up to at all times.

The one thing I highly recommend doing is reading all of the Datalog and keeping up with it. Your first chance to get into your menu is the best time to start. It goes through a lot of details they leave out at the beginning of the game and really gets you caught up to speed as to why they’re doing what they’re doing.

Your main characters are all in the fight for different reasons. Lightning and Snow are out to save Serah (Lightning’s sister and Snow’s fiance) who has been taken by the fal’Cie. Hope was pushed into the entire situation and blames Snow for everything that has happened to him. Sazh’s intentions remain unknown for quite some time, but he sticks it out and fights with these people he’s only just met.

Then you have Vanille. Cute at first, but I promise you, her odd voice, constant moaning and “Ah!” “Oh!” “Yeah!” “Mmmm” comments will get to you after a while. She plays a good part in the game and is a strong character, but sometimes I wish she would just shut up.

The battle system is easy to learn if you go through the tutorials. It progresses well throughout the beginning of the game so you’re not bombarded all at once. They also keep the tutorials in your Datalog so you can check up on them if needed.

Now you can only battle with one character in the beginning (you get the ability to switch about 20-25 hours in). The other characters fight by themselves and you have no control over what they do. The only thing you can change is their “role” in battles. You have 6 different Paradigm’s which allow you to change the characters abilities as well as their behavior in combat.

For example, for more damage-dealing, you would want to use Commando or Ravager. If you need healing more, you can switch a character to a Medic. The best thing about this is that you can switch in the middle of a battle to what you need.

There are things that I really like about the battle system. If you use a potion, it goes to everyone, not just a single character. That helps during the fights more than you can imagine!

Two features that make it feel like your cheating is the Auto-battle command. Instead of going through and picking what you want to do, it will automatically choose what is best for that specific fight. Cheating, I know. Also you have a retry feature. If you die, you can start again right before the battle started, or you can use a combination of buttons to stop the current fight and retry again, if you started out badly.

There are SO many more features to the battle system, but you’re going to have to get the game to test them yourself!

Your character advances through a process known as crystogenesis. You obtain crystogen points in battle and you spend them in the Crystarium to unlock new abilities. Reminds me exactly of the Sphere Grid in FFX, which I was a big fan of. A great feature of the crystogenesis is that even if your characters do not participate in that battle (or even if they are not part of the party you are currently with) they still get crystogen points.

Music in the Final Fantasy series games has always been very good, and very important to fans. You can clearly tell that the music is not Uematsu, but it is still very good and fits the game very well.

There are a few things I’m not fond of (besides Vanille’s voice…). There are NO towns to shop in and explore (I know, right?!?). You do have a “shop” option at save points, but there are not a lot of options… Weapon choices suck, though you do have the ability a bit further into the game to upgrade them, which doesn’t make up for the lack of choices, but it helps.

Overall, I am very happy with what Square Enix has done. Though it is not my favorite Final Fantasy, it makes a great addition to the series. I would recommend it to anyone!

A big thanks to Greg Knefel & John Knefel (family members and amazing gamers!) and all the rest of my gaming family for their input!

A lot of gamers had the same question when they downloaded the newest DLC for BioShock 2 why is this download only a 108 KB?  Is it already on the disc?  Well gamers you where right what you just paid for was on the disc and you basically paid to open it up on the disc for the game you already own.

Here is what Elizabeth the 2K Community Manager had to say on the 2K forums:

Hey guys,

I noticed there was a bit of confusion about our Sinclair Solutions Tester Pack file size, and I wanted to clear things up for you. The way our engine and game structure works is that people need to have the exact same content for people to play together. One of the challenges with post launch content for MP is that it can split the player base, and we want to avoid that whenever possible. For this content, creating the DLC package the way we did allowed for us to not split the player base – so whether you purchase the new content or not, you can still play with your friends.

I know some of you have strong beliefs about DLC, and I’m not here to sway your opinion or convince you to buy our stuff – if you like what we’re offering, I hope you get it and enjoy it. If it’s not your speed, enjoy BioShock 2 as we released it.

I want to let you know that DLC is not interfering with our patching capabilities, which are a top priority and are still being actively worked on. We’re committed to supporting you and making BioShock 2 the best experience possible.

I hope this clears up a lot of the questions and confusion in this thread!

Thanks,

-Elizabeth

She does make it sound like it is best for the BioShock 2 community as she should, but why are we shelling out more money on a game that already has the DLC on the disc?  I for one have not bought the DLC for the game and as a matter of fact I haven’t even played the multiplayer aspect of BioShock 2 as of yet.

So for the gamers out there scratching their heads, you where right the DLC you just bought was already there, it just needed a few more dollars to open it up.

A few weeks ago while playing Battlefield Heroes, I decided to purchase some in-game currency known as Battlefunds. Except this time instead of using a credit card I used a different payment option ‘Paymo’ this service allows the gamer to pay for Battlefunds using a mobile phone. At first I thought that will this would never catch-on, however looking through the BF Heroes forums it became apparent that quite a few players do use it and because of this easy payment method gamers are actually spending more money in the virtual store buying clothing, weapons and emotes. Its a win-win situation and it is so simple to use it works a little like this: First enter your mobile phone number, the service then sends you a text with detailed instructions showing what to do next, you then reply with a single word and boom! You have you battle funds.

Payment options currently offered by Battlefield Heroes

Now this got me thinking, what if this payment model would be used with other systems for example the Xbox 360. This type of payment method could be very useful when buying Microsoft points instead of having to purchase a redeemable code or use a credit card. Connivance would be the main aim for the payment method by offering an easier way to purchase content either on the internet or via a gaming console. I think in the future when I need to purchase more Battlefunds, I will just use my mobile phone instead of a credit card.

*Please note this was just an idea nothing more*

Congratulations to Torchlight for not only winning the Game Industry News’ RPG Game of the Year Award but also the Game Developer’s Conference Choice Award for Best Debut.

Two great awards for a great game. Torchlight is a diablo-like RPG that takes RPG’s to the next level, and because of this and the popularity for the game, they have won two awards!

“To win both of these awards is absolutely incredible, and means so much coming from our peers, our fans and friends,” said CEO Max Schaefer. “We could not be more proud of Torchlight and of our team. Our heartfelt thanks to everyone who voted and supported us.”

Torchlight definitely deserves these awards and the developers couldn’t be happier. Pick up your copy of this great game today!

Peter Molyneux recently talked about Fable 3 using your Twitter stats to influence your follower count in the game. (Microsoft has since reversed this, stating Molyneux was simply inspired by Twitter.) I still think that we may see Twitter integrated into Fable 3, Molyneux was probably just not supposed to talk about it yet.

Tweet Defense on the iPhone does actually use your stats to give you bonuses for your defenses. The game doesn’t actually send tweets into your feed, but that feature is coming with the next update according to Chris Paladino. Given the game’s popularity in our gaming community, there will undoubtedly be no shortage of tweets coming from that game once that update hits iTunes.

So, where does it go from here? I can guarantee more games will integrate Twitter in new and creative ways. I would like to see something like what Blur is doing, but with more variety in what is sent out. I would like to see the PSN launch a Twitter app much like the Facebook app they launched last year. It would be very interesting to see the sequel to Borderlands use your stats to generate a unique weapon in the game. Or how about being able to take a screen shot in Gears of War 3 and sending it to Twitpic.com automatically? The possibilities are very interesting to me.

Do you love the idea of Twitter digging deeper into your gaming world, or do you just see it as spam of the highest order? Whether you like it or not, it’s coming.

What are you doing?

True Achievements

This week we welcome Rich Stone, founder of www.trueachievements.com

For the uninitiated it’s a site that takes the 1000 point achievements of every existing Xbox 360 game and through the use of a clever metric and analasys of the achievements of its many thousand members works out what that achievement is really worth.

In other words you deserve more than just 15 points for finishing Story mode on Beatles Rock Band in less than a da. Using True Achievements you get 21 points. Find out why and how at the start of this show.

After that, for the main body of the show, we discuss with Rich the subject of Trophies and Achievements in general. We’ve got a lot of feedback from our forums on this and a lot of your opinions get voiced. Clearly they effect how many people play games now, so we explore that. If you don’t give a monkeys about achievements… well that gets voiced too.

Many many thanks to Rich for coming on the show and especially for donating £100 to our Doctors Without Borders charity gamerscore marathon. You can still donate for a little longer.

http://www.justgiving.com/Digital-Cowboys-Haiti-Relief-Challenge

It’s always interesting to see how people get on with new consoles for the first time so I’ve seized this opportunity to write the story from the opposite side of the coin.

Last Friday I purchased with my hard earned money a lovely shiny black PlayStation 3 80 GB. Not a slim, I’m not cool enough for that.

A few weeks ago when Heavy Rain caught my eye I felt a strange burning desire to have a PS3 sitting comfortably on my desk ready to be played. I can’t describe why, maybe it’s the recent spat of amazing exclusive titles that seem to be storming through the floodgates. Maybe it’s because I already have an Xbox 360 and a Wii that’s made me want more, more as in MOAR! Or it could just be because I’m addicted to gaming.

PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 Elite : BFF's FO LYFE

I arrived home that fateful afternoon with the beast caged inside it’s huge box. I could practically hear it roaring to come out. In a matter of minutes it was connected and switched on and the first thing I noticed was how quiet it was.

Here’s a re-enactment:

Cameron: Shhhh!

…..

Mum: What?

Cameron: You hear that?!

..

Mum: No..

Cameron: Nothing. Just nothing. It’s almost silent.

OK, so maybe it wasn’t that dramatic and the PS3 isn’t a silent assassin. It’s more of a friendly hum in the background. rather than when you turn on an Xbox 360 and welcomed back by an almighty SHOOOOOOM! You could compare it to an annoying dog that leaps on you in a fit hyper-activity because it’s so happy to see you. But you can’t blame the dog, you love it. Going off point now… So to summarize, the PlayStation 3 is much more quiet.

I entered the details for the time and date and blah blah blah. By this point I was just too excited to get stuck into the wonderful worlds of Little Big Planet, Uncharted and Heavy Rain. But to my utter dismay there appeared an update screen.

The sign of a long wait to come...

I was thinking at this point; “Oh well, I’m sure Sackboy, Nathan Drake and the Origami Killer can wait a few minutes more.”.

But oh boy was I wrong. It wasn’t just a few minutes. No. It was a few hours. The wait almost killed me. By the time the PlayStation had updated and I was connected to the PlayStation Network night was fast approaching. I hurriedly put in the Little Big Planet disc in, wanting to get as much play time out of it as I could possibly squeeze into one night.

Then my heart sunk more. Another update; another two hours.

Finally when it was complete I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sackboy, adorable and happy as ever, was there waiting for me.

After I had finished meeting the Curator Creator of the first level and played through the chuckle inducing tutorial by Stephen Fry I happily ejected the disc.

Awww! Ain

The next day I enjoyed browsing through the Playstation Store and seeing what goodies it had ready for me. The answer? Quite a fair bit. I downloaded PAIN, Warhawk, Flow, Crash Bandicoot 1 & 3 before I could stop myself.

And the winner for the most sexual innuendos in game? PAIN!

While they were downloading I took a trip to Home. PlayStation’s hub of activity full of user customized avatars and adverts screaming for attention left, right and center. Home is a great place to meet new friends with a common interest in the games you like, hobbies and general interests. I enjoyed playing bowling with my new found friends, having a chilled game of pool and then joining them in a frantic (and for me hopeless) game on Warhawk.

I love the simple and accessible cross-media bar of the PlayStation 3 dashboard, although it’s less visually dynamic and exciting it still does the job and the dynamic themes can spice it up a little.

The one major disappointment for me and something that I feel the Xbox 360 does far better is the length of time it takes for games to update. Granted my games need to be updated from the first to the newest but it still takes it’s dear sweet time. PAIN stands out as being the most ridiculous update time I’ve ever had to endure. From 4PM right the way through to 12PM the next day it was constantly churning away. With an Xbox 360 I’m used to updates taking a maximum of 10 minutes. I’m guessing some of you reading this might be thinking:

“N00b, internetz r slow that’s all.”

My answer to that is I know many people who have this problem with the PlayStation 3. BUT! With all the moaning I’ve done about the updates, apart from that everything is peachy. Like the new commercials say; “It only does everything.”.

It’s so good to watch The Dark Knight in glorious 1080p HD. Nothing beats that.

Now that I’m officially a PSWII60 or whatever, I can with all honesty say that each console has it’s merits and it’s downfalls. I’m glad I bought my PlayStation cause it’s allowed me to play a whole host of new games and has also given me the opportunity to get excited for God Of War 3.

The transition from Xbox 360 to PlayStation 3 was pretty revealing. Yeah the updates are slow but I have all the time in the world to enjoy these amazing machines of fun and their own individual advantages.

****Editors note due to a technical error the Author’s post was not shown in it’s entirety when first posted.****

The wait is over for BioShock 2 Multiplayer fans, the new Sinclair Solutions Test Pack DLC is available now. The Sinclair Solutions Test Pack is available on Xbox LIVE Marketplace for Xbox 360 and Games for Windows–LIVE for 400 Microsoft Points and from the PlayStation®Network for £3.19.

The Pack Includes;

• Rank Increase to level 50 with Rank Rewards
• New playable characters Louie McGraff and Oscar Calraca
• 20 new trials*
• A third weapon upgrade for each weapon
• Five additional masks*

One of the greatest fictional worlds ever created just got better. Sinclair Solutions Test Pack, the first of several planned downloadable packages, contains a number of customization features that allow you to further your character’s development in BioShock 2’s multiplayer modes and provide a deeper experience.

If your not a huge fan of the single player don’t worry 2K games have more future expansions for the world of BioShock 2 which are slated to arrive over the coming months and will continue to expand on the stories of the denizens of Rapture and extend the lore and fiction of the failed Utopia under the sea.

This weeks hosts are, Steven Artlip (Steve519), Scott diMonda (WCC5723), and with special guest, Jeremiah Hill

Our primary objective this week:
- Emerald City ComiCon

Our rapid fire topics this week are:
- Xbox 360 HDD Transfer Kit Now Available To Buy, by Chad Bonin
- Marcus Jones Coming To UFC Undisputed 2010, by Steven Artlip
- New 360 Bundle Includes Forza 3, ODST, by Jordan Silverthorne
- Battlefield Bad Company 2 Connection Issues, by Vincent Lynch
- Scribblenauts Conjures Sequel This Fall, by Wyatt Fossett
- Rock Band 3 This Holiday, by Rane Pollock
- OnLive Going Online June 17, by Tim Poon
- Sony wants to make your “Home” better, by Delano Townsend
- The PlayStation Move, by Adam Jagger
- Contest: Get Dismembered in Dead Space 2, by Mark Withers

To contact us, email us at feedback@platformnation.com, or you can call us at 484-99-GAMER

Thanks for listening to this weeks show, please do us a favor and leave us your feedback about what you thought of the show and don’t forget, we will have a fresh new show for you NEXT FRIDAY!

To subscribe to this podcast, click the AWESOME Animator below and then click Subscribe with iTunes or whatever your podcast downloader is.

iPhone/iPod Touch/Android users, be sure to check out our newest app in the Apple iTunes Store or the Android Store. It is free and it will allow you to do everything you can do from your computer but from your phone, even listen to the latest and greatest P*N podcasts!