to infinity

Wordless Wednesday #18

2012-02-22T20:17:00.001+08:00

I do. I just haven't figure it out yet.

The art of pleasing everybody.

2012-02-21T09:29:00.001+08:00

There's no such thing.

I agree, you have the right to be treated nicely. But do not abuse that, for I also have the right to slap you in the face with a chair if you treat me like a doormat when I have treated you well.

Since there is no death penalty for people who treat other people like shit, the best thing to do is to ditch such people.

Or you can always use chairs, but that comes with consequences too.

So leave.

All the negative energy is not good for your health.

Kita sibuk jaga hati orang. Hati kita?

One of my New Year's resolutions is to blog regularly.

2012-02-20T22:48:00.001+08:00

Apparently that's not working. I've been trying to blog something since, I don't know, Wednesday? I keep staring at my Live Writer and ends up closing the application, because I don't know what to blog about.

I still haven't receive any offer for internship placement, and I'm freaking out a bit right now. But not as freaked out as my dad is, I think. He keeps asking me on regular intervals, "Have you gotten any offers yet? How about this company? How about that company? You want to try applying?" and I'll be, "Honestly, Pa, I don't know…".

I think it's beginning to dawn on him that I'd probably be having a hard time finding jobs later on because of the "biotechnology" prejudice thingy. The course I'm taking right now is obviously not as "grand" as Mechatronics, or Aerospace, or (insert other mechanical engineering courses here *rolls eyes*), and I've heard a lot of people saying Biotechnology engineers are not really in demand. Throughout my study period, I had people questioning me "Bio? Why Bio? Why not take pure Biotech if you love Bio so much?", and every time I say "Oh, I'm taking Biotech engineering," some people would have this certain look, like, the course I'm taking is easy because it's not friggin mechanical. #engineeringissues.

All I'm saying is, shut your face. If I hear one more saying "Kalau nak senang, kalau nak rilek, amek lah Bio!" I swear I'll turn violent.

Rezeki Allah ada dekat mana-mana, and since I'm already on this path, I trust Him on deciding what's best for me.

On a different note, I finished Son of Neptune last weekend. I nearly screamed when I hit the last page. THE MASSIVE CLIFFHANGER IN MY FACE DAMN IT RIORDAN WHY U NO HAVE MERCY ON MY POOR SOUL?

I died a bit more inside when I realized that Mark of Athena is coming out in the fall.

When I thought about it, my reading style (peh siap ada style sia) has changed over the past, I don't know, months maybe? I used to not have any strategy when it comes to buying books. I'll just go into a bookstore, search around and pick up random books (usually those with nice covers), read the back covers, read the first couple of pages and if they are intriguing I'll take them.

Nowadays I strategize (ececeh). Usually I'll go on Goodreads, do a bit of research (read synopsis, read reviews, check prices) on the books and list them down. Then I'll rearrange them and prioritize, save up a little, and then only I'll go attack Kinokuniya. Hahaha.

Goodreads is really a blessed boon. I first heard of the site when I joined a writing seminar last semester, and one of the guest authors mentioned Goodreads. So I checked it out and signed up.

Profile. If you have Goodreads, add me here :)

It's really convenient; you can mark the books you've read or you want to read, keep track of your reading activities, join groups and discussions, take trivia quizzes about books you've read and stuff. It's fun. I really recommend this site to you if you're an avid reader.

The tracking thing I mentioned.

Okay, it's almost 11pm and I really need to get started on my notes. Until later!

Ps.

My goal for this year.

V-day pet peeve.

2012-02-14T23:00:00.001+08:00

Today is Valentine's Day, the day of expressing love, or so they say. Personally speaking, why celebrate love on this particular day when you can celebrate it everyday but I'm not going to go into that.

There are a lot of love-related quotes being RT-ed around. I don't mind that one bit. You can RT anything you want. What I want to say is ( and I don't know if it's just me being crappy tonight, I am exhausted therefore little things tick me off, but) I am really sick of people associating being single with loneliness and shit. I'm really sick of people associating single people with being unwanted. I'm really sick of people giving ideas that when you're single, it means there's something wrong with you.

Just. Stop.

When you say "single people", you're being general. You're saying EVERY person who is single commits to doing that specific act. Single people are lonely. Single people are sad. Single people are jealous of other non-single people. Single people are single because nobody wants them. Single people crave for relationships. Single people are set to ruin relationships. Single people feel unloved.

Well, fuck you.

Has it ever occur to you that some people are single by choice? Has it ever occur to you that some people are just happy with their lives, that having a relationship is not a top priority? Has it ever occur to you that being single does not mean you are pathetic, unwanted and unloved?

Don't sell sick ideas, because some people might buy it. And here I saw girls RT-ing shit and feeling sorry for themselves when they shouldn't be. It's completely pathetic.

You don't have to be in a relationship to feel special, to feel loved. You're worth more than that.

Excuse my language. And I love you.

FINALLY. Lisa had a normal Saturday!

2012-02-12T02:46:00.001+08:00

By normal, I mean your typical teenagers-go-out-on-weekends kind of normal. MY definition of Saturday is going online, laze around, eat eat eat, and going online some more but not yesterday, because…

I went out! I'm very proud of myself.

Anyways, I met up with Farha, Jem, and Saffa at KLCC. We planned to see a movie and eat afterwards.

At first we were debating between seeing Chronicle or Underworld and couldn't make up our minds until someone (I forgot who exactly; was it Jem? Or was it me? LOL) said "Guys, Safe House. Ryan Reynolds." and the case is closed, hahahahaha.

Man, Safe House was awesomeeeeeeeeee. It's action-packed, with a lot of unexpected twists and okay-I-did-NOT-see-that-coming moments. Everything explodes in your face and keeps you at the edge of your seat.

Well, at least it kept me at the edge of mine.

Denzel Washington's character is creepy as hell. Wise, but creepy. I think Ryan Reynolds really fit the rookie agent character. I never really picture him as a spy or anything fancy like that, so it's really nice to see him kick some bad guys' asses (and getting his kicked too; his character gets beaten up a lot in this).

Afterwards, we ate at Nando's, and talked and talked and took photos and talked until "Eh, dah pukul enam?!".

The awesome people and myself

The awesome sidelines

The awesome chicken

Saffa's (left) and Farha's (right)

Polaroidssssss

Thank you girls for a lovely day out!

Ps. Disebabkan terlalu banyak gambar muka saya control senyum maka haruslah diletakkan gambar sememeh satu.

Tuuuuu dia muka jakun pegang kamera Instax dah keluar jyeah.

First week of school.

2012-02-09T17:32:00.001+08:00

First day of school

Waking up in the morning:

When the lecturer didn't show up for 8.30AM class:

Having three hours to kill before the next class:

Cafeteria food:

Molecular Biology & Biochemical Techniques (11.30AM):

Realizing you had two free hours before the final class:

When the lecturer didn't show up for the final class (3.30PM):

Realizing you still have classes tomorrow:

Second day of school

Waking up in the morning:

Reaction Engineering (10 AM):

Math 5; Partial Differential Equations (11.30AM):

Nasi Ayam KAED for lunch:

Seeing your old crush:

Biotechnology Lab 3 briefing (2.00PM):

Receiving the news that you will be having lab twice a week:

End of lab briefing:

Realizing that you have no classes on Friday (hence the end of school week):

Yeah that's basically it.

Being a wallflower (or sort of).

2012-02-09T00:34:00.000+08:00

When I was younger (man I sound old!), I thought of myself as a friendly person. Most people kept choosing the word 'friendly' whenever they described me. My friends used to view me as someone who had a "wide social network", because I knew so many people, both in real and virtual life.

I am 21 now, and I'm discovering a lot about myself, and sometimes the things that I found out surprised me.

I remembered during high school I didn't limit myself to just being friends with my own classmates. Instead I made effort to befriend everybody regardless of who they were. Seniors, juniors, kelas depan, kelas belakang, prefects, troublemakers… To be honest, I was a bit of an attention whore. I liked people knowing who I was. I wanted everyone to know my name. But that was high school. I think I changed a lot now that I'm a college student, about making friends, about putting myself out there.

I found out that I am actually socially awkward. Haha. Really. I find less fun in making new acquaintances, because fitting in and opening up to new people require a lot of work. I don't hit off with people the first time, and it pains me. So I stop trying, and merely opt to surround myself with people I know.

I'm in my third year of university now, and I still don't know that many people. I mean, I'm still sticking with the same group of girls I befriended when I was 18, and I like that.

Familiarity is comforting.

The thing is now, when I don't fit in I never bother to try. My 16 year old self would have, but my 21 year old self wouldn't. I just don't see the point of trying to fit in where I don't belong. My 16 year old self would have tried to stand out either way, but my 21 year old self just want to blend in.

Into the walls.

No, I'm not depressed.

Wordless Wednesday #17

2012-02-08T14:35:00.001+08:00

Ps. please press play –> no real love (in you).

Incognito.

2012-02-04T23:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I feel like moving to some place where people don't know my name and start anew.

But I can't, obviously. Not right now anyway.

As I was walking aimlessly around in Kinokuniya today, I suddenly thought of the things I used to do but not anymore. I don't know why I stopped, and I think I want to start doing them again.

1. Draw. Now I'm not a skilled artist or something, but I remembered that I used to draw a lot during my school years, especially during my 2-year stint in boarding school (because I was always so depressed).

2. Collect chunky bracelets. A hobby I had during matriculation. I used to wear them a lot. Now they are just sitting there in my jewellery box. Alright, my bracelets are making a comeback next semester. Hahaha.

3. Take photos. Random photos, like those of trees, birds, traffic or something. Now I'm just too lazy. I don't even carry my camera around like I used to anymore.

4. Write poetry. Not that I'm good at it (I suck at it), but at least I did write something! Sappy ones, I used to write all the time during my time in boarding school (again, because I hated it there). I should have kept them, could have turned them into songs or something now that I know a few basic chords.

5. Write stories (or fics, as people call it). I remembered writing my first short story in primary school and asking my classmate Jen to correct my grammar. I used to have these thick school log books I used to write all my stories. I threw them away when we moved to KL. That action bit me in the arse apparently, because I cannot write anymore. I did try writing something, but I don't know, it doesn't really flow as easily as it used to. Most of the time I discard the whole thing.

My school years were kind of like a big emotional roller coaster ride, which probably explained why I was so inspired to write stuff albeit poorly. Now my life is so dull and boring and uninspiring so I have nothing to write about. Ha.

College years are supposed to be fun.

One of these days I'm going to change my tweethandle.

The Game Plan.

2012-02-02T19:28:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it's February already. 4 more days to Semester 2, and I'm not looking forward to it at all.

Anyways, I always set resolutions and goals before every semester starts. Okay that's a downright lie. I usually make something up in the middle of the semester, sort of like oh-God-I-don't-want-to-fail! last minute plan. But that's what the old Lisa would do. This new Lisa creates a battle strategy beforehand.

Ok puke now.

Since I have a knack of conveniently forgetting every promise I made to myself, I'll put this in writing. Or typing.

So now this is the plan:

1. To avoid skipping classes unless it's an emergency, like a really bad migraine.

I was a very, very lazy girl last semester. Malas sikit, ponteng. Malas sikit, ponteng. And since attendance are not taken, lagi lah seronok nak ponteng kelas. Teehee.

And I have to restrain myself from oversleeping on purpose. Have you ever woke up at 8 am for an 8.30 class, and you're like "five more minutes, mom", and the next thing you realize it's 8.20am and you're super late but you're like "ah, well" and go back to sleep?

This girl, always.

(Sorry that I missed a lot of classes, Madam Z, and thank you for the A-)

2. To reduce my online activities.

Check Tumblr once a day or maybe once in two days instead of 2875389 times a day. I already cancelled my Twitter txt subscription, so no more Twitter on the go. So far, I'm good with not having to tweet every five minutes.

3. To do revision consistently.

I'm very bad at this. Have to work harder on it. Tak guna bila nak exam baru nak buat nota cantik-cantik macam Azah buat.

Jemmie suggested that if I break one promise I should punish myself, like if I skip one class I should let my roomie change my Tumblr/Twitter password for a week or better yet just let them take away my broadband.

*shudders*

Having no Internet access is pure torture. Therefore, I solemnly swear that I will stick to my battle plan.

Wordless Wednesday #16

2012-02-01T22:48:00.001+08:00

(via)

Behave yourself.

Status: Pass

2012-01-31T14:14:00.001+08:00

My Twitter timeline was on fire last night. Everyone was anxiously counting down the minutes to the result being released at midnight. And when it was 11.58pm everyone was like:

Man, I should have print-screened something. It was epic.

My result was okay, I guess, I had .03 increment in my CGPA so I'm not complaining. So…I'm officially a third year student! First semester, bring it on!

Which reminds me, I still haven't sent two more internship applications.

Eek.

Ps.

"Please be informed that effective Semester 1, 2011/2012, all students may receive and view their results through the official UNIVERSITY email." eh, IIUM?

If I could go back in time.

2012-01-30T23:11:00.002+08:00

I am now convinced that my 18-year-old self was the most psychotic person I have ever known. She was crazy. I read the 2008-09 posts and was like,

I felt like going back in time and gave her a slap or two.

I know better than to wear my heart on my sleeve nowadays. You cannot trust everything you feel.

So there I was, cringing at the embarrassing stuff I CANNOT BELIEVE I wrote, and I was like, ugh I wish all these things could go away. And then it hit me: I can actually make it go away. So I selected all and clicked on Delete muahahahahaha goodbye embarrassing old self 5-ever!

(It means goodbye more than forever, ya geddit? Geddit? K never mind.)

So now all that's left is the cool bits of my old self, hahahahaha.

Anyways, result's coming out in an hour and I'm munching on Oreos because I'm freaking out a bit.

Maybe I'll make a gif-reaction post about it. I have nothing better to do anyway.

Page 29 of 366.

2012-01-29T16:55:00.001+08:00

I wonder who started this "pages" trend on Twitter. Page 1, 2, 3, and so on. It's kind of annoying but since I don't know what title to put for this entry, so yeah.

If you haven't noticed, I changed my background, haha. Now it looks more cheerful than my previous choice of black. And I've changed the header to something lyrical, Ed-Sheeran inspired.

Change.

I'm thinking of changing a lot of things: my blog name, my blog url, my tweethandle, mainly because I'm bored. But the thing about change is that it is hard to execute. You get attached to it, so it's hard to just change and move on to something new.

I guess that's why people don't change much.

Result's coming out midnight, 31st. I'm hungry. What's new with you?

Little brat turns eight.

2012-01-28T17:36:00.001+08:00

Still acts like she's five but I guess that's okay because I still act like a twelve year old. Speaking of, I found out that they're releasing Beauty and The Beast in 3D! Guess who squealed like a little kid?

Hint: It's me, obviously.

CHILDHOOOOOOOOOOOD YAW.

The older I get, the more I hold on to this stuff. It's like I never want to grow up, you know? I mean, who wants to be an adult anyway? You have to make tough choices, you have a lot of responsibilities, you have to make decisions…

boo.

Cried a bit.

Damn right I'm immature.

Embracing my creative side.

2012-01-27T17:23:00.001+08:00

Because I was bored to oblivion and Sarah suggested that I should do something creative, I drew a house today.

Kthx.

Being a book geek.

2012-01-23T14:02:00.001+08:00

I still have a lot to learn about myself, but if there is one thing that I'm completely sure of about this Lisa Farhana person, it's that she is a book enthusiast.

I think I have more books than wearable clothes in my closet.

I need more clothes.

I need to go shopping.

I need more money.

Maybe if I didn't spend so much on books…

Ah never mind, who needs clothes anyway? My old ones are still wearable, and if bad comes to worse, I can always wear my baju kurung out. Ha!

Two new purchases yesterday:

- The Son of Neptune, book 2 in Heroes of Olympus series, and

- The Red Pyramid, book 1 in The Kane Chronicles series.

Thank you, Rick Riordan, for sparking my interest in mythology, haha.

The Kane Chronicles is about Egyptian mythology, by the way. I checked it out on Wikipedia last night (man, what are we to do without Wikipedia, eh?) and it was okay. I mean, I like Greek more, probably because I'm more exposed to it, but Egyptian one is cool too. The only significant difference between the two myths is that in Egyptian one, the sky is referred to as the mother while earth is the father.

Geek mode: on. Excuse me.

Ps.

#3 in my 2012 resolutions: Expand horizons. Read different genres.

But it's hard to get out of one's comfort zone. YA genre is currently the zone.

Being musical.

2012-01-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

I envy those who can channel their emotions and thoughts into songs. Like Taylor Swift, Gabe Bondoc, Kina Grannis…

That is all.

Bar chords will be the death of me.

If the Internet does not exist.

2012-01-20T21:30:00.001+08:00

What would happen to me if someday I were to wake up and found out that the Internet did no longer existed? I would go on to Chrome, and there would be a huge notice on what it used to be my Yahoo! homepage, like,

It is unfortunate that we must inform you that the Internet has died last night while you were sleeping. Sorry for your loss, and we wish you lots of luck in your future endeavours.

Yours truly, We who killed the Internet, he he he.

Hmm. I would be utterly devastated. Heartbroken. I would cry for hours, or days. Or weeks, it depends. There would be a mourning period, to grieve over the death of the Internet, and my life as well. While grieving I would force myself to think of the changes I need to make in my daily routine now that I don't have the Internet.

One thing for sure, I would most definitely guard my cell phone with my life. My phone is the only connection, the only link that I have to other people. I would write down all the phone numbers and store it in my journal, so that if the worst scenario happens and some bastard gets away with my phone or somehow the SIM card stops working, I still have the important numbers in writing. Maybe it won't kill me to start memorizing some numbers too.

But Lisa, what if you lost your journal? Well…oh, just shut up, you.

It would require a really great effort to stay in touch with friends from all phases of my life: childhood, school, college. No more Oh, I lost his number. That's okay, I still have his Facebook! attitude. Therefore I would start asking for addresses so that I could send the annual Raya and birthday cards, or the occasional How are you? I hope you're doing great letters. Oh, note to self: buy lots of papers, envelopes and stamps. And pens. Maybe I'd become a better friend after all.

Aha, since the option of uploading one on Facebook and tagging everybody is gone, people would have to start sending those wedding invites again. Anyway I think it's kind of rude to upload and tag. I don't care if it's just a piece of scented paper, I want that damn card! It shows effort, you know, like you really want this person to come and celebrate your special day. Either you send it or you don't. Uploading it and tagging people on it don't count.

College would just be hell. No Wikipedia, no Google, hello really thick, dusty books from IIUM library. Just shoot me. Come to think of it, the term Google it! would fade away with time. Sad, very sad. And people would have to actually read, like go to the library, borrow books and read kind of read.

Since I could no longer go and read The Star online, I would have to start buying real newspapers to know what's going on in the world. I would have to watch Buletin Utama every night (gasp!). Or maybe not; with or without Internet, Buletin Utama is still crap and I will not watch it. I'd go and watch the news on TV9, or CNN, or whatever. Damn, we really don't have a choice when it comes to media, do we?

Speaking of news, anak-anak seni in this country would probably hold kenduri everywhere because no Internet means no gossip blogs means no image-damaging rumours. Bad news to those among them who rely on gossip to sell their names. Even more good news for editors of Mangga, URTV etc because no Internet means no gossip blogs means less competition. I wonder what Abang Nara would do without his blog.

Speaking of gossip, Gossip Girl would be a really, really irrelevant show, wouldn't it?

Speaking of shows, UGH NO MORE TORRENTS DOWNLOADS! Goodbye Big Bang Theory, goodbye Once Upon A Time, goodbye PLL, goodbye New Girl, goodbye HIMYM, goodbye (insert all TV show titles here). Korean drama addicts would have serious mental breakdowns. ASTRO would have a field day, with more subscriptions and upgrades to friggin Be.yond just for more TV shows.

Sigh. I would forever live my days reminiscing all the fun times I have illegally downloading music, TV shows and movies, making virtual friends and fan-girling on Tumblr, watching (and mentally marrying) Gabe Bondoc (and other musicians) on Youtube.

I would someday get over it, of course. Move on, get married, have kids. They would teach about the creation and death of Internet at school, and one day my kids would come home and ask me Mommy mommy, what is the Internet? And tears would well up in my eyes as I sit them down and tell them stories about how the Internet once changed my life.

End of essay.

***

No Internet means no more downloads. No more cyber-stalking. No more Tumblr. No more Twitter. No more Youtube. No more Wikipedia. No more everything that makes my life interesting, no more everything that makes me happy.

I would be forced to exercise. I would be forced to go out and mingle with people. I would be forced to have a real social life!

Let me die.

Convinced.

2012-01-16T22:15:00.001+08:00

If I ever need reassurance about the path I am taking now, today's visit to the hospital gave me just that.

Remember those days when I was torn between accepting the offer to pursue Medicine or continue studying Engineering in UIA? Maybe you don't but I do. Sometimes. In the middle of the night. When I have nothing to do. Or when I feel stressed out. Or during exam week. But yeah I do sometimes think of all the what ifs in my life. Not healthy, but yeah I can't help it. I'll try not to make it a habit, though.

There's something about hospitals that I don't like. Government hospitals, to be specific. Maybe it's the patients. Maybe it's the antiseptic smell. Maybe it's the crowd. Maybe it's the colour of the walls. Maybe it's the hospital itself. I can't pinpoint the exact thing, but I don't like it. So yeah, can't imagine myself working at a hospital. I simply cannot.

Ps. I was at the Intensive Care Unit, by the way. While I was waiting outside, one Malay auntie burst out of the door sobbing and telling me "Dia dah bukak mata dah!", one Indian auntie patted me on the shoulder and said, "Jom pergi makan!", and one Chinese auntie smiled and asked me who I was visiting.

Rasa 1Malaysia.

The last fight.

2012-01-11T10:46:00.001+08:00

Bring it on.

The art of letting go.

2012-01-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

Letting go of all the dreams I spent forever building.

Letting go of all the what ifs I ask myself every night.

Letting go of all the wants I keep telling myself I need.

Letting go of all the chances of us.

Letting go of all the possibilities of you.

Letting go of you.

I'm still learning.

I'm still trying.

Come back again in a few more years.

A random weekend update.

2012-01-07T16:29:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I messed up my exam dates; I thought my next paper is on 12th but it's actually on 10th! So, no spending the whole weekend at home, I'm afraid. Have to chain myself to my desk, that's the only way I'm going to make through it.

Anyway, because I was bored (kenapa laptop tak detect unifi kenapa), I watched two movies last night.

1) The Good Guy

I think the poster and the synopsis was a bit misleading; I thought the movie was going to be about Beth (Alexis Bledel's character) but it wasn't. I think Beth is just a minor character in this movie. Anyway it's a nice, not exceptionally great, but nice. I think it's clever too, because at first I'm not sure who I should root for, but then you learned more about the characters, and it's pretty much clearer from that point on.

And I love, love, love Bryan Greenberg's character Daniel in this movie. He's just so honest and adorable, he reads, he doesn't like to go out much, he's not really good at dressing up, he's awkward around girls…he's just so adorable. Where can I get one?

2) The Art of Getting By

Freddie Highmore is all grown up! Puberty did you good, eh? When he showed up on screen I was like, "Charlie!". His character George kind of reminds me of Charlie from The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I think he's brilliant, Emma Roberts is brilliant, everything about this movie is brilliant. Not sure why it gets a lot of flack, though.

And I watched The Help today.

You is kind, you is smart, you is important. Friggin tears. Such an amazing, inspiring movie.

So yeah, random weekend update ends here. Man, I'm such a boring person. I don't have a social life.

Birthday boy.

2012-01-02T14:18:00.001+08:00

Happy 15th birthday, Achik!

Tahun ni dah PMR, tak boleh main-main dah. Belajar rajin-rajin!

I love you.

(Hadiah tak ada, mintak dengan Papa hohoho)

On another note,

Still have four more papers to study for. I'm starting to feel so overwhelmed, yet so ~~lazy~~ unmotivated to do anything about it.

"Here's to another year pretending that I like you people."

2012-01-01T12:02:00.001+08:00

Kidding. I like everyone. Well, almost everyone, but best not to get into that now. Hi, it's a brand new day in a brand new year, and I think the sky is in a good mood today.

Ugh can you see why I hate my room? The view sucks, and people keep on passing by, so privacy equals to nada. Anyways, here's how my last night of 2011 went down:

My roomies had plans of their own, so they went out and I was room alone. Feeling all loser-ish and sorry for myself, I went and bought early dinner, and resorted to watching The Powerpuff Girls on my laptop.

And I actually enjoyed it, watching Powerpuff Girls, I mean. Funny how I'm turning 22 this year (OH. MY. GOODNESS!) and I still appreciate Powerpuff Girls. I doubt Elena knows who The Powerpuff Girls are. I pity her and her childhood filled with TV shows like Hagemaru, Klik and God knows what else she watches religiously on Astro Ceria.

The amount of hatred I have for Astro Ceria and its stupid shows is immense. Ok I digress. Where was I?

Oh, I was talking about The Powerpuff Girls. I watched like two episodes or so from the third season (I have four seasons worth of PPG in my external hard disk, he he he) before I switched to Mulan and proceeded to sing along to the Prep The Bride song. I might have gone on an animated-movie marathon or do something along this line

if Amaleena hadn't proposed that we watched Ombak Rindu.

Ombak Rindu. How do I even --

Ok firstly, I read the novel. It might have been one of my favourite Malay novels once upon a time. Obviously you cannot expect things in the movie to be 100% according to the book. I get that. I'm fine with it. I don't even remember how the story goes in the book.

Second, I may have some preconceived notions about the movie, because I saw the trailer and immediately disliked it. But I kept an open mind and crossed my fingers before we started the movie because it's not fair to judge something when you don't know anything about it.

I hated it.

I hated it so much I screamed curses half of the time. The other half I just cringed and buried my face into Amaleena's comforter. I hated the music. I hated the way the screen faded to black and faded in again like some shitty video. I hated the sex scenes, ESPECIALLY the sex scenes. The only thing I liked about it is maybe the cinematography and stuff, and Lisa Surihani's character, that was very spot-on. But the rest, ugh.

To quickly summarize the whole movie, the first half of the movie went something like this:

The heroine's uncle sells her to a pimp. The hero rapes the heroine. The heroine begs the hero to rescue her from the pimp's club. The hero buys her from the pimp. The hero keeps her in a safe house away from public. The hero forces himself on the heroine. The heroine wards off hero's attacks by muttering prayers. The hero pushes the heroine away in disgust. The heroine begs the hero to marry her. They get married in Siam. The hero seduces the heroine into bed, and BAM! They fall in love.

Insert random visits to hero's mom's gigantic house in between, and complications when second heroine (the hero's supposed fiancée) comes home from the States right after that. And there you have it.

I'm not being biased nor am I an anti local-movie person or something. Hey, I watched Lagenda Budak Setan, and I think I might have half-liked the movie if I had watch it alone without my friends.

I did not just said that.

Forget that I said that.

My point is, there are so many things about this movie that are wrong and I don't want to further explain because I don't intend to make this post about Ombak Rindu, but that one thing that bothered me the most is the fact that the heroine, Izzah appeared to possess no self-worth at all. Nada. Zero, zip, zilch.

Where is your dignity, lady?!, I screamed as I watched Izzah took Haris's shoes off. WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY, LADY?!, I screamed as I watched Izzah put her head on Haris's chest.

She's not even married to him and yet she takes his damn shoes off for him.

I was like, BUT HE IS YOUR RAPIST.

HE. IS. YOUR. FRIGGIN. RAPIST.

God.

Why did they have to make the heroine so…spineless? She can't even stand up for herself, she cried all the time, she takes him back oh so easily when he comes to her and apologizes. HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO BEG. He called her names and accused her of cheating and pushed her away, AND SHE TOOK HIM BACK.

SHE TOOK HIM BACK THAT FRIGGIN INSTANT.

Please, Izzah, do enlighten me. Why would you do that? Don't give me shit talk about how love can conquer all and stuff. No woman in her right mind would take a man back that easily. Not after he calls you names, not after he treats you like crap. The guy at the very least deserves a hard kick in the crotch for being such a douche.

Sigh.

Ok so maybe this post is about Ombak Rindu, after all. Demmit. I planned to talk about New Year's resolutions.

Ps. I wish I had some kind of time machine so that I could go back in time, give my younger self a hard slap and tell her, "Do not read these. You will regret it when you're older.", find the nearest incinerator and chuck all those novels into it.

People do stupid things when they're young.