I think we’ve lost something by spending so much time at home these days. But the older I get, the more I notice all the little things about adulthood that are ridiculous and, frankly, pretty funny. Things like getting excited about a good cardboard box or realizing that staying home on a Friday night is actually the plan you’ve been looking forward to all week.

And judging by these funny tweets, I’m not the only one noticing.

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The post 30 Funny Tweets About The Parts Of Adulthood Nobody Warned Us About appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Employees on Reddit shared some of the most ridiculous workplace rules they’ve encountered, and some of these sound like they were invented just to see how much nonsense people would tolerate before quitting. These stories prove that common sense isn’t always part of the employee handbook.

1. The Trash Can With A Disciplinary Record

“When I started working in an open office, each desk had a little trash can. On the first day, I moved the trash can out from under the desk to have more room for my legs. The next day, the trash can was gone. I filed a ticket to find out why, and they said it was the third infraction of that trash can being found in the walking space, so now it had been taken away.

I said the previous times hadn’t been me because I had just started, and I was told that the infractions stay with the trash can, not the person.”

— u/wangologist

2. Coffee That Only Benefits The Company

“I worked in an office where we were not allowed to drink the free coffee/K-cups after 2 p.m. because the caffeine would still be in our system after we clocked out at 5 p.m., and therefore, it wasn’t solely benefiting the business. So crazy!!!”

— u/RestingBitchFacee

3. The Conference Room Sword-Fighting Ban

“There was a rule that we were not allowed to fight with swords in the large conference room. It mainly applied to me, though. And it wouldn’t have been a rule, but someone snitched.”

— u/inkseep1

4. The Boss Who Banned The Word “Absurd”

“My boss made a rule that we couldn’t use the word ‘absurd’ because someone (OK, it was me) used that word about something he said in the workplace, and it hurt his feelings. So he had his sycophantic deputy put out a memo saying that word is banned from our workplace.”

— u/Agondonter

5. Charging Your Phone Is Apparently Theft

“Not being allowed to charge a phone in the lunchroom while on lunch. The owner put a sign in the lunchroom saying that they considered it theft of electricity…”

— u/r64fd

6. The Scientist Who Had To Handle Hand Sanitizer

“During COVID, my workplace could only find hand sanitizer to buy in gallon-sized jugs. So they had to ask a scientist (me) to aliquot it into smaller squeeze bottles for distribution around the offices because I had the training to handle ‘chemicals.’

AND it had to be done in a fume hood while wearing gloves, a lab coat, and safety glasses because…it’s a chemical, and policy says we must wear PPE to avoid getting chemicals on our skin.”

— u/leftluc

7. The Office Where You Couldn’t Say “But”

“I worked in an office where we were not allowed to say ‘but’ and had to instead say ‘and also.’

‘I’d love to help you with that project, and also, I am very busy with my own work.’

Literally had meetings about it. Meetings. Plural.”

— u/skizem

8. Mandatory Birthday Celebrations

“I worked at a company where the HR director was a dictatorial psychopath. Each month, we had to meet in the break room. All the people with birthdays that month had to stand at the front of the room, and everyone else had to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to them.

We are adults. And when I say, ‘had to,’ I mean HAD to. She wrote it into policy. You were not allowed to miss it. She took a roll call to ensure everyone was there.

A few clever people would schedule vendor meetings, etc., to avoid having to do it… Then she forbade that too, putting a block on the Outlook calendars so nobody could schedule over it.

It was the cringiest corporate death march I had ever known. Just…insane.”

— u/ImprovementFar5054

9. Find Your Own Coverage, Even From The Hospital

“When I was 14, I worked at a grocery store where you couldn’t call out sick or get time off unless you arranged the coverage yourself.

I called them from the hospital with a broken ankle, and they STILL wanted me to arrange coverage, or they’d expect me to show up. Lol.”

— u/sherbertspinach

10. The Energy Auditor Who Cost More Than He Saved

“Several years ago, they went hard on energy saving at work. Not only did we have to shut off all electrical devices, but we had to unplug everything. All the internal window shades had to be angled so they pointed outward.

Randomly, in the middle of the night, the ‘energy auditor’ would go through our rooms and offices looking for violations. If violations were found, we got a ‘pink note.’ Three notes and we got a talking-to by HR.

The whole thing lasted a couple of years, until they figured out that the energy auditor was costing more than they were saving.”

— u/GrandPriapus

11. A Doctor’s Note To Drink Water

“I used to work at a major retail store as a cashier. I tried to bring a Hydro Flask of water for my shift, and they told me I needed a doctor’s note to have my water bottle.”

— u/AdLife1700

12. Assigned Bathrooms By Floor

“‘Staff who work on this floor MUST use the restrooms on this floor. Do not use another restroom on any other floor unless you work on that floor.’

Um, most of us HAD to be on multiple floors to respond to requests there. It therefore made zero sense, with 12 floors, to expect people to pee/poo on their base floor.

WTAF. This was caused by a single Karen who insisted the entire medical center was defecating in her personally adopted restroom.”

— u/Bennington_Booyah

13. No Sitting, So Employees Got Creative

“‘No sitting’ in a job where you just look at products go by on a conveyor belt.

OK, then, we sit on overturned garbage cans. Oh, the higher-ups on a visit did not care for that.

Now we have stools, lol.”

— u/FroggyTrix

14. Reporters Forbidden From Eating Lunch Together

“I was working at a small newspaper with a horrible editor. She decided that she didn’t want the reporters to eat lunch together, so we were assigned separate lunch breaks.

If we were going out, we’d have to write down where we were going so we wouldn’t overlap at the diner. I couldn’t even take the intern out for pep talks.”

— u/reporterbabe

15. The Boss Who Sent Spies To Parties

“In college, I had a job where our boss told us that ’employees are not allowed to fraternize outside of the workplace.’

There were about 30 employees, all of whom were college students, so of course we hung out and partied together all the time. A few times, he even had the assistant manager show up at parties to spy on us and see who was there… so we just offered him beers, and he ‘didn’t see anything.’

It was absurd. Someone once talked to him, and his logic was that he was worried that us partying together outside of work would lead to hookups or arguments/drama that would then bleed into the workplace.

But, like, you’ve got 30 people aged 18-24 working for you…that’s gonna happen anyway. Anyway, the rule was very important to him, but we just ignored it.”

— u/mejok

16. Desk Decorations Had To Match The Company Logo

“A company I worked at once made a rule that we could only decorate our desks with the colors of the new company logo.

Anything that wasn’t those two colors had to be taken down. It was so silly!”

— u/CinnamonRetriever

17. A Physician Who Had To Justify Their Job Every Week

“Well, there was a period of time when I, a physician, had to write an email to my boss every week listing five things I did that week, justifying my employment, because of a tweet Elon Musk wrote.”

— u/casapantalones

18. Restaurant Employees Told To Dip Their Fingers In Boiling Water

“My first job in a restaurant: I was 15, and every night the owner had all employees dip their fingers in boiling water to build up heat resistance.

Back then, my parents told me good employees listened to their bosses, so I just assumed that was normal.

Now that I think about it, it was completely insane.”

— u/Bombadil3456

19. No Long Sleeves While Working Outside In Winter

“We weren’t allowed to wear long-sleeved tops or cardigans because it apparently looked bad in front of the customers.

It was winter, and we were working outdoors.”

— u/Authpousougamaei

20. Mandatory Office Days With Nobody Else There

“My previous job mandated two days a week in the office, even though I was the only person on my team at my site.

I’d come in, sit by myself, and have 100% of my meetings on Zoom. Just pointless.”

— u/RaggamuffinTW8

21. Coming Into The Office To Collaborate With Nobody

“I have to go into the office to collaborate. I work on a team of five.

One is 250 miles away and doesn’t come in; two are in different countries, so they don’t come in; and the other guy has different office days than I do.”

— u/Juan_in_a_meeeelion

22. Ten Minutes Late After Working Until 2 A.M.

“Being called on the carpet for showing up ten minutes late for work, even though I worked until 2 a.m. the previous morning. And had worked late several of the other previous nights. And over the weekend.

We didn’t have a meeting scheduled or anything. I just needed a little extra time to heave myself out of bed.

Never, ever work for a family-owned business. After that episode, I started looking for the exits.”

— u/AnybodySeeMyKeys

23. No Bandanas In A 100-Degree Warehouse

“I wasn’t allowed to wear a bandana or sweatband in an un-air-conditioned warehouse in a hundred-degree (37.7 C) weather because it could be gang-affiliated.”

— u/chaosperfect

24. Sent Home For Wearing The Wrong Socks

“I was in the military, but this grocery store somehow has them beat.

I got sent home at once for wearing the wrong socks. They were just black ankle socks.

They also make you throw away everything from the deli/bakery and will charge you with theft if you eat any.”

— u/Swagsspear69

25. The Impossible One-Minute Drive-Thru Rule

“You have to get every car through the drive-thru in under one minute, and you also have to cook everything to order.

The thing is, the average customer doesn’t want to be out of the drive-thru in one minute. They might think they do, but in reality, they want to check what’s in their bag, open their drink and take a sip, get it situated in the cupholder, put their wallet away, adjust their music, and then pull away from the window.”

— u/HuckleberryHuman5926

26. Only Bible Recordings Allowed At Work

“I worked at a restaurant where the owner was a born-again Christian ex-Marine. He lived in a house behind the restaurant and worked there most days.

The only thing we were allowed to listen to was the Bible on tape. No music.

Of course, when he wasn’t there, we would put on regular stuff.”

— u/jasenzero1

The post 26 Workplace Rules So Ridiculous They Sound Completely Made Up appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

That’s the beauty of Twitter.

Anyway, I spent some time digging through the internet today. Hopefully, these will make your day a little better, or at least give you something to look at while you’re supposed to be doing something else.

If that’s not enough, catch up on yesterday’s funniest tweets for another round of internet nonsense.

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The post 25 Of The Funniest Tweets We Found On The Internet Today appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I’ve been married long enough to realize that a surprising amount of it involves discussing things neither of us ever imagined we’d have strong opinions about.

And somehow, despite all of that, it’s still pretty great.

These funny marriage tweets capture the little arguments, weird habits, and everyday moments that make having a spouse both wonderful and occasionally exhausting. If you’re married, at least a few of these are going to sound familiar.

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The post 35 Funny Marriage Tweets That Prove Love Is Mostly Just Annoying Each Other appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Apparently, that’s a position a lot of companies could use. Because some of the advertising out there makes you wonder whether anyone actually looked at the finished product before sending it into the world.

The Facebook group ‘Ridiculous Marketing Nonsense’ is dedicated to collecting exactly this kind of stuff. We’re talking unfortunate business names, confusing signs, packaging that sends the wrong message, and promotional ideas that probably sounded a lot better in someone’s head.

Here are some examples from the group that might make you feel a little better about your own mistakes at work.

1. “Souperstar”

2. “Take My Money”

3. “Ouch”

4. “Sounds Like Am Interesting Community Event”

5. “Discover A New Hobby”

6. “I Had One Of Those Earlier”

7. “Surely You’d… Oh Never Mind”

8. “Finally, A Sandwich Just For Me”

9. “Thanks For The Explanation”

10. “Major Confusion”

11. “Ok”

12. “Come On Back”

13. “America Flavored”

14. “I’m Probably Not Gonna Book This Place”

15. “Hmm”

16. “Is That Why They’re Called Nap Pies?”

17. “I Won’t”

18. “The Healthy Option”

19. “A Royal Flush”

20. “Dunno”

21. “Hmmm”

22. “Who Knew?”

23. “Can I Have It Without The Poopy?”

24. “Mmmm”

25. “Deal Of The Day”

26. “I Guess T Stands For Sweet Flying Jump Kick”

27. “When You Get A Genius In Your Marketing Department”

28. “One Careful Owner”

29. “Move Over Heston”

30. “Soylent Green In Indian Rebranding Effort To Escape Detection”

The post 30 Funny Marketing Fails Shared By People Who’ve Had Enough Of Ridiculous Advertising appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I respect the written approach, though. It gives everyone time to choose their words and decide how many exclamation points are enough.

These funny neighbor notes cover the full experience of living near other people. There are kind ones, and there are some that suggest the author stared through their window for a while. Regardless, these neighbors had something to say, and the rest of us get to read it.

1. My Friend Posted This On Facebook, And I Thought It Belonged Here

2. I’m Not In Love With You (Sorry)

3. Cute Note For Our Cats. We Live On The First Floor And Our Cats Love To Sit In The Window That Faces The Parking Lot

4. Friendly Neighbor. Our Cat Got Out And Ran Straight Into Our Neighbor’s Apartment

5. The Ending To This Note On The Little Library In My Neighborhood Definitely Takes A Turn

6. Got Invited To A Wedding By The Neighbor’s Kid

7. My Neighbor Is Horrible At Parking, So I Left A Note. This Is Their Response. I Completely Understand

8. My Neighbor Received This Note

9. My Neighbor Left Some Notes For The Maintenance Guy

10. A Friend Left A Note For His Neighbor

11. Left This On My Neighbor’s Door. Making Your Dog Use The Bathroom On The Balcony Is Diabolical

12. The New Neighbor Keeps Leaving Notes On Our Car

“The morning of June 3rd, the first note was on our car. Both my partner and I were a bit annoyed, mostly because of the tone of the note. I get that it is immensely frustrating when non-permit-holders take parking spots from residents, but it was literally the 3rd day of the month (and mind you, there were TONS of U Hauls in the area over the weekend and on Monday), so I don’t quite understand jumping to the conclusion that we are entitled people from out of town. I imagine most residents had to wait for their stickers at some point when they moved in – why not give us the benefit of the doubt? Maybe I’m just sensitive, but I really feel like that note could have communicated concern without being so extremely rude and presumptuous.

So, we left the printed-out notes in the second and third pictures in our car last night. I wanted to make sure he understood our situation (so he wouldn’t call a tow truck on us) and also call him out a bit for being a bad neighbor. Maybe I should’ve been friendlier, or just not responded at all, but I was honestly so annoyed at his first note – once again, we’ve literally JUST moved and are thus pretty stressed out and tired and just not in the mood to be dealing with this.

Honestly, my partner and I both got a good laugh out of this last note. I’m thinking we should probably stop responding at this point since this guy is clearly out of his gourd, but it is pretty annoying. I’m thinking, based on his syntax and writing skills, maybe he uses this website (no offense to myself or anyone else here), so perhaps he’ll see this and feel some type of shame?”

13. Put A Towel Or Something Under The Fan

14. My Neighbor Left A Note To Reject Her Secret Admirer

15. Hostile/Helpful Neighbor. Posted On The Shared Dumpster At My Son’s Apartment Complex

16. Neighbors Are Funny. To Be Clear, This Is Not For My Dog (Don’t Have Any Furry Friends Right Now, Sadly). Just Saw This Note In The Height

“Thought it might make others laugh too.”

17. Parking Infringement With A Neighbor

“So my neighbor is a little annoying sometimes. I parked my small SUV about 1 inch on his property by mistake. I know it’s my fault this time, but she more often than not takes the liberty to park on my property, but I turn the other way. Here’s the note I got.”

18. Someone Stole An Amazon Package From Me; I Left This Note By The Elevator, And They Gave It Back

19. Passive-Aggressive Neighbor

20. The Neighbor Kid Put This Letter In My Mailbox. I’m Tempted To Do It

“Hello, dear stranger,

Would you supply me with your Wifi password?
My parents will not let me use any wifi the whole summer. Just leave the passcode here and stick this note near your mailbox.

Simple!

Sincerely,

The person who got dared to do this (money is on the line here). I play Hearthstone and can coach you for free – highest rank: rank 68, decayed to maybe 69. Thanks for your cooperation in this endeavor.”

21. This Is What I Found In My Mailbox This Morning. My Neighbor, The Lady Whom I Don’t Know Or Care About, Gave This To Me

22. Found This Note My Neighbor Left In Response To Our Management

23. Please Keep The Noise Down

24. Got Pulled Into Our Neighbor’s Note War

“Saw this note this morning and thought it was funny that we were the assumed note-leavers in the building. There’s been a constant note war going on for a year now where notes have been put up asking people to stop smoking in their apartments. Of course, these don’t deter the smokers, and the complex doesn’t have a no-smoking policy. We are the only dog owners and know this is what apartment living is like with the smoking. This is our response to being dragged into this fight. Pic of stinky dogs in question.”

25. Person Using A Blender

26. For Taping This Note To My Neighbor’s Door?

“I drop things around 1-2 times a week (typically small stuff like utensils, my phone, my AirPods case), and nearly every time I do, my neighbor will pound her ceiling at least 5 times over the span of a minute. To give my neighbor the benefit of the doubt, my apartment is pretty run-down and has super-thin walls, so I assume dropping stuff is a lot louder than usual.

Admittedly, I’ve already had 2 stomping tantrums in response to her pounding, but they only seem to escalate her pounding as she tries to find ways to make more noise. The craziest part for me is that we live 2 blocks from a train station, so it’s not like she isn’t used to noise.

This morning, I got fed up and taped the note to her window before leaving for work. I showed it to a couple of friends and family, thinking that they’d see it as a funny but relatively harmless form of retaliation, but the consensus seems to be that I’m overreacting and I should’ve complained to my apartment manager or had some sympathy for her situation (she’s around 70 years old in a wheelchair).”

27. “Couple Energy”. My Neighbors Left This On My Car Yesterday

28. Saw This Note On My Neighbor’s Door This Morning

29. So My Friend Moved Into Her University Flat This Week. Her New Neighbor Left This Note On Her Door

30. Stinky Food

“Sunday morning, I cooked chicken fried rice… The ingredients were garlic, onion, sambal, egg, chicken, kecap manis, and leftover rice. The next morning, it was egg fried rice (we love fried rice) and spam, less-sodium egg, garlic, leftover fried rice, and soy sauce.

If these are stinky for them… What else can I cook? I have never cooked food with a strong smell since moving in here. (Shrimp paste or dried fish, which I believe would really smell, NEVER) will be sending an email to the management today and see what happens.

Even knowing this neighbor’s behavior, I’m still going ahead with the portable air hood I ordered from Amazon, and I’ll also be getting an air purifier (something I’ve been planning to buy anyway, now with an extra reason).

She mentioned that I have been cooking stinky food for months. I usually cook a mix of Asian and Western dishes and love trying new recipes. Since I also work in a café kitchen, I’ve been cooking eggs and bacon for years. Honestly, even the food some people call ‘stinky’ in the comments, I don’t find stinky at all! I actually love kimchi and curry.”

The post 30 Funny Neighbor Notes That Make Living Next To Other People More Interesting appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The people sharing these confessions have considerably more discipline. Some have spent decades maintaining a completely unnecessary lie. Then there are the wholesome-ish ones who’ve quietly done something wonderful for someone they love and never asked for credit. 

That’s what makes this list such a good mix. You’ll laugh at the lengths people go to avoid an awkward conversation, then find yourself unexpectedly moved by what someone did when nobody was watching.

1. His Daughter Knows Exactly What She’s Doing

I once told a girl I was dating that I loved the dish she cooked for me. In reality, it was terrible. Twenty-five years later, my wife is still cooking it at least once a month because it’s my “favorite.”

I’ve never been able to tell her, but now I’ve let my 8-year-old daughter in on it. She’ll prance up to my wife and say, “Let’s cook Daddy’s favorite tonight!” Then she turns around and looks me dead in the eye with a mischievous grin on her face.

u/Rescuepoet

2. A Thoughtful Gift Became A Lifetime Of Band Merchandise

My friend is a major fan of the band Death Cab for Cutie. They came to our city a couple of years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the tickets. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated by it.

I bought tickets. Two days before the show, I told her that the friend I had originally planned to take couldn’t go and asked if she would please come with me. There was no other friend. I told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She, of course, accepted and had the time of her life.

She’s doing much better now, but every couple of Christmases or birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because “she knows how much I love the band.”

I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now it’s gone too far where I can’t tell her.

u/chernygal

3. Dad Had A Secret Cheese Stash

My mum wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was a kid. When I was in my mid-20s, I bought a unit, and my dad was helping me fix stuff up, so I provided lunch.

I said to him, “Bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches.”

It was then that he told me his deepest secret: he had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty. And my mum still doesn’t.

Poor Dad has been retired for years, though, so I’m not sure on the current cheese consumption status.

u/rumblemumbles

4. The Family’s Favorite Thanksgiving Pies Have A Secret

Every Thanksgiving in San Luis Obispo, my best friend and I are in charge of pies. We go to the Madonna Inn, a gloriously outlandish hotel/restaurant/bakery/resort, and ask for two of their pie boxes.

We then go to Safeway, buy two much cheaper pies, and put them in the boxes. We bring them to our large family gathering, and everyone compliments the wonderful pies because of how amazing the Madonna Inn’s reputation is for baked desserts.

u/gueuse_geuse

5. The Cat Is Still Taking The Blame

I ate the crumble off the top of my mom’s apple crisp and blamed it on the cat. Years after the cat passed, my parents tell the story of how she ate the crumble as a cute anecdote.

u/hedder84

6. An Entire Class Had To Relocate

I farted in a physics tutoring class consisting of 6–10 people, including the tutor. A friend started yelling about the air conditioner having a bad smell. He suspected that a bird or a mouse died there.

Finally, we all had to move to continue the class in another room. Until this day, no one in this group knows that I farted.

u/No301_Illumi_Zoldyck

7. The Revenge Chili Was Actually An Improvement

I can’t remember why, but I was mad at my dad for something. As revenge, I added extra chili powder and hot sauce to our family chili.

Turns out my family never really added enough seasoning to the chili as it was, and the food actually tasted a lot better as a result of my revenge tactic.

I’ve overcorrected as an adult on seasoning food at times, but I do make a mean chili.

u/tacobelmont

8. Pretending To Be Sick Got Out Of Hand Fast

I was pretending to be sick. This was the 1980s, so the old-school, mercury-filled thermometers were still a thing. I knew it would read 98.6, and this was my only shot to avoid school.

Both of my parents stepped out of the room, and I looked over and saw my dad’s piping-hot cup of coffee. I dipped the thermometer into the hot java. It shattered, emptying the toxic mercury into the coffee along with tiny shards of glass.

I panicked. In my mind, there were only a couple of possible outcomes: My dad dies of heavy metal poisoning and a lacerated esophagus, or I ’fess up to what I did.

At the last second, I swatted my dad’s mug off the kitchen counter, smashing it onto the floor and creating a coffee explosion in my mom’s freshly cleaned kitchen.

In the chaos, everyone forgot about my claims of illness. I slipped the remainder of the broken thermometer into the trash and went to the bus stop, saving my father from a horrible death, at least in my mind at the time.

u/from_the_interwebz

9. That’s A Lot Of Commitment To A Crush

I’m Canadian, and in high school, I had a crush on this girl who was originally born in the US. To try and impress her, I pretended I was an American who immigrated to Canada too.

I was so committed that I even gave her the address of my old home, but it was really just a hotel I had stayed in while on vacation in Florida with my family. Since it was the early 2000s, she never verified.

We didn’t end up dating, but to this day, I haven’t come clean. I wonder if she still thinks I’m an American.

u/taalleerling

10. The Stargazing Excuse Is Still Going Strong

My mom, dad, and other people in our community kept spotting me driving to this back parking lot at a local government complex. They asked me what I was doing, and I told them it was a great place to stargaze because it was kind of off the main road.

Even 20 years later, I still get comments about whether I’m going to go stargazing!

Nope, that was my hookup spot in high school. I think they know.

u/ooo-ooo-oooyea

11. The Black Ice Was Innocent

When I had just gotten my license, I was kind of an idiot, as are most 16-year-old boys. It was snowing, and I thought I would try to drift my car into a McDonald’s parking lot from the road.

I failed, obviously, and went down an embankment into another parking lot. Thankfully, my car was mostly OK.

I told my parents I was avoiding a head-on collision and hit black ice. I have never told them the truth, even though it has been 20 years since that incident. I could tell them, and they wouldn’t care, really, but I just haven’t and probably never will.

This is the first time I have ever told anyone the truth about that day.

u/FluxKraken

12. The Heroic Rescue Story Leaves Out One Detail

I came home late at night, drunk, and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house, my dog attacked a raccoon hanging around the area. I ended up wrestling my Malamute and freed the raccoon from his jaws.

Here’s the thing. I was drunk, the raccoon kinda just stared at me, so I decided to try and pet it. I got maybe one pet in before it took a chunk out of my finger.

Everyone asked me what happened, and I just told them that while I heroically wrestled my dog to save the raccoon, I got bitten in the process.

They still don’t know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years later.

u/August-thecow

13. The Joyride Was Surprisingly Wholesome

When I was dating my now-wife, her son took my car for a joyride while we were out of town. When we got back from our trip, I noticed something was amiss with my car.

When I got in it, I noticed the sunshade was installed backwards; I would never do that by accident. I then pulled the dashcam footage.

He took it around the neighborhood. He didn’t do any donuts or burn any tires, just a nice slow stroll through the neighborhood with the music playing, and he waved at some people.

I ended up just handling it, man-to-man. He was like 17–18 at the time. I never told his mom about it.

u/landob

14. A Hotel Room Mix-Up Became A Permanent Sleep Upgrade

If anyone was at the Hyatt Regency in Columbus, Ohio right before the Origins Game Fair in 2018, I have your white noise machine. You left it in the hotel room.

I didn’t even realize it for half my stay. I was like, “Oh, this is actually really convenient!” figuring it was just a new thing the hotel was doing. That is, until I visited my friends’ room, where they didn’t have one.

I told the front desk about it, but they insisted it didn’t need to be moved to the lost and found. I told them to tell me if anyone called looking for it, but no one did.

So, thank you, forgetful stranger; it has actually helped immensely with my sleep.

u/Jovian12

15. Papa Had A Special “X-Ray Machine”

My dad is a doctor. When my daughter was little, she was terrified of hurting her ankle. Like, anytime she got the slightest twinge or rolled it, she was convinced it was broken.

My dad would take her to the office and run a fetal heart Doppler over her little ankle and tell her it was an X-ray machine and her ankle was fine.

She’s 13 and still convinced that Papa took actual X-rays of her ankle. I’m never going to tell her otherwise.

u/YourMothersButtox

16. The Missing Earring Had A Little Help Turning Up

My wife lost one of her favorite gold earrings her parents gave her. She could not find the other after weeks of trying. It had sentimental value as it was a 16th birthday gift, so I knew she’d never want another set.

So I took the one she had around our big city to jewelers and shops until I found a matching one. Eventually, I found one, bought the pair, dirtied it up at home, and let her “find it” in her sock drawer.

Still have the other hidden in my desk in case she loses the other.

u/Plastic_Cranberry711

17. A Rigged Giveaway For A Very Good Reason

I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway, and I won a coupon, but she won the grand prize: a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant.

My sister was a size 16 and desperately needed new clothes, but would spend money on her baby grandkids and thin adult daughters.

This was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself.

u/Remarkable_Story9843

18. The Stuffed Animal Quietly Got Replaced

When my brother was 4, he won a stuffed animal from a claw machine, and it was his favorite thing ever. He slept with it every night for weeks until he fell asleep on the couch and was carried to bed.

He left his stuffed animal on the floor, and the dog tore it to pieces during the night.

I spent $40 trying to win another one and put it under his bed for him to find.

u/minimegs2023

19. The Nanny Has Seen A Few “Firsts” Before The Parents

As a previous nanny, I’ve seen many first steps and heard many first words, but I never share that.

When I leave, I say something like, “I think little one is soooo close to walking/talking!” It’s a special moment parents deserve. Who am I to take that from them?

One baby was walking with me for a full two weeks before he showed his new trick to his parents.

u/griddles96

20. Two Best Men And A Jeweler Saved The Wedding Day

On the day of my wedding to my late wife, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out.

My two best men went into overdrive, took a picture of the ring I had, and went to I don’t even know how many jewelry stores, explaining what had happened and whether they had a similar ring.

They went to this really great jewelry maker who said, “I have something that is really close. Give me a bit, and I can make it perfect.” He worked incredibly hard and got it done with about an hour to spare.

The three of us are the only ones who know. I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed, and I haven’t stopped yet.

He ended up telling my best men not to worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. I did, and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He retired during COVID.

u/[deleted]

21. The Birthday Party Nobody Knew About

Only my immediate family knows that I threw a birthday party when I was 13 and no one came. I remember sitting at the window, crying, looking out for any cars to come.

I never told anyone else about this, because I didn’t want to seem like a massive loser; I still don’t.

Even for the kids who didn’t turn up, I told them my neighbors and friends from extracurriculars came, so even they don’t know.

u/Extension_Branch_371

22. The Free Tune-Up Wasn’t Free

In 1998, I had a friend who was stuck in a very toxic situation at her home. She had an opportunity for a new start across the country in Oregon.

She had a Dodge Neon that was hanging on for dear life and decided to pass on the opportunity for fear the car wouldn’t make the trip.

I told her I had a friend, a mechanic, who owed me a favor and would give the car a tune-up for free. I didn’t really have a friend that was a mechanic.

We were both 18 and didn’t have much money, but I used all my savings to have her car made roadworthy for the trip.

She’s a mother of four now, with a great job and thriving in Oregon.

u/04Z51Vette

23. An 11-Year-Old Made Christmas Happen

My mom was a meth addict, so my siblings and I grew up with very little. By the time I was 11, she was so far gone, we could go weeks without seeing her.

I entered a drawing contest at my school around this time. I won a $100 gift certificate to our local mall.

One day, after making sure my siblings had made it to school, I played hooky and walked to the mall, about 3.5 miles away. I bought my three siblings some presents and almost forgot to get myself something; I ended up buying some discounted body wash. Then I had them wrapped at the mall before trekking home.

I hid the presents in the crawl space until the 24th. I was right, our mom did nothing.

When my siblings were distracted by a movie, I snuck out and put the box of presents on the front porch before knocking and running away.

I snuck back in the back door by the bathroom and heard my siblings yelling, “Someone left a box on the porch that says Merry Christmas.”

u/Beautiful_Ad1219

24. He Made Sure His Wife’s Letters Reached All Three Kids

When my wife died, she had been working on “special occasion” letters for all of our kids. She slipped into a coma and died after only getting through a handful of letters for our eldest child, leaving addressed envelopes only for our other two kids.

I knew this would be devastating for the three kids and possibly create conflict, so I paid a woman who specialized in calligraphy to literally duplicate my wife’s handwriting.

I gave her the content, channeling my wife’s comments to me about what I thought would be meaningful words for our three kids when I had helped her dictate a few.

And, as she wanted, I have passed them out on special occasions, such as wedding dates, the birth of the first child, and the first day of college.

My kids don’t know. I’ll take it to my grave.

I consider it harmless, as it was her intent, but cancer robs so much from people afflicted with it, including their best, most sincere attempts at helping others cope with the loss themselves.

u/[deleted]

25. The Tummy Ache Was Just An Excuse To See Dad

Dad, I lied that day in kindergarten when I said I had a tummy ache and needed to go home. I was totally fine; I was just super bored and wanted to spend time with you.

u/[deleted]

The post 25 People Confess Secrets That Range From Ridiculously Petty To Surprisingly Heartwarming appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

We’re still a couple of weeks out, which gives everyone plenty of time to ask what time we’re eating and receive several different answers. Personally, I think the holiday preparations should begin with finding pants I can comfortably sit in. Everything else goes on the back burner.

For now, we’re kicking things off with our first batch of funny Thanksgiving tweets of the season. Something to scroll through while mentally checking whether your largest serving spoon is still at someone else’s house.

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The post 25 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets For Everyone Already Thinking About Their Plate appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

That’s how we end up here, reading a stranger’s very specific complaint and thinking, “Finally. Somebody said it.” Or wondering what sequence of events led them to say it at all. Both are good reasons to keep scrolling.

If you’ve still got a little scrolling left in you, yesterday’s funniest tweets had a few things to say, too.

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The post 25 Funny Tweets From People Who Had A Few Things To Say Today appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

On November 10, 1975, the Edmund Fitzgerald sank in Lake Superior, and all 29 crew members died. Fifty-one years later, the anniversary still means something around the Great Lakes.

On Midwest Twitter, it also means that for one day, you can know an unusual amount about iron ore and be among friends.

Here’s how the timeline marked the day.

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The post 30 Funny Tweets About How The Midwest Remembers The Edmund Fitzgerald appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I always wonder how many of these moments the other person even remembers. The person working that night probably forgot about me before he even went home. My brain will bring it up while I’m brushing my teeth before bed.

People on Reddit shared the most embarrassing things that ever happened to them, and some of these are so funny I’m glad somebody had the nerve to tell the story. I’d have moved to a different time zone.

1. The airport pickup had a third wheel.

I went to fetch my ex at the airport. She didn’t know I was coming. There were only two people left waiting, me and another guy, so we started chatting. We laughed at how slow the luggage was coming out.

My ex came through the automatic doors and saw me, a big smile on her face. When she walked toward me, she saw the guy I’d been talking to. It was her new boyfriend. It was straight out of a movie.

Via u/MurrayleoSMG

2. The dad uniform worked a little too well.

My brother and I planned to meet up with my dad at a high school basketball game. I saw him in his familiar spot along the railing, looking down on the court. Even facing away, he’s easy to pick out on account of his signature olive green winter coat, faded blue jeans, and Air Monarchs.

I thought I’d mess with him by standing uncomfortably close until he noticed me. He didn’t acknowledge me at first, so I got even closer. He finally turned around. It wasn’t my dad.

I looked 15 feet to my left, where my dad and brother looked on, bemused, befuddled, and disappointed. I couldn’t string words together, so I just began pointing at the stranger and then at my dad and then back. The stranger graciously acknowledged that he and my father were wearing the same dad uniform, which only made things slightly less embarrassing.

Via u/rake2204

3. She finally got the ball in the championship game.

I was a 12-year-old awkward girl, all arms and legs with zero athletic ability. I played basketball and naturally, no one ever passed me the ball because I was so bad at it.

We were so close to beating the other team in the last game of the tournament and then, lo and behold, someone passes me the ball. I’m elated and go running for the basket. People are cheering for me. This is my moment!

Except they weren’t cheering for me. They were screaming at me to stop because I was running toward the wrong basket. I shot the winning basket…for the other team. I still die inside thinking about it, and I’m 41 years old.

Via u/octoberelectrocute

4. They found a way to make accepting an award awkward twice.

I was in high school, and we had a prize-giving ceremony during assembly. My name gets unexpectedly called out, so I make my way to the front to collect my prize. I’m almost there when I have a sudden crisis of confidence and think I must have misheard them, so I turn around, walk back to my chair, and sit down.

My friends are looking at me, asking me what I’m doing and telling me to get back up there. So I get back up, walk all the way to the front, and have ANOTHER crisis of confidence. I think my friends must have been messing with me. So I turn around and walk back to my chair and sit down.

The hall is silent, and the teachers are onstage looking at me like I just landed from another planet.

Via u/cat_b*stard

5. The apology was somehow worse than walking into the pole.

I walked into a pole, hard, with my whole school nearby. I was by myself and felt awkward already and felt the need to say, “Sorry” to the pole. Then I realized and proceeded to say, “Wait, you’re a pole.” Just kept my head down and walked swiftly on after that.

Via u/Hollyse

6. The love letter was still in her pocket.

I’d liked this senior for three years, and one day I finally got up the courage to smile, slip the letter into his shirt pocket, and leave in a hurry. When I got back, I realized that the letter to him was still in my pocket, and the tampon was gone!

Via u/Agreeable_Storm9400

7. It took 60 years to forget absolutely none of this.

I was reading Shakespeare out loud in high school English class. The line was, “If these be motives weak, break off betimes.” I read, “If these be motives weak, beat off bedtimes.”

This was 60 years ago, and I can still see the face of the blushing young male teacher and hear the snickers from some of the boys in the classroom.

Via u/Rough-Transition-954

8. All that for 50 cents.

Where I live, you have to put a coin in a shopping cart to use it. As a kid, whenever I went shopping with my mom, I would return stray carts and keep the coin.

One day at a huge hardware store, I saw a cart filled with all kinds of stuff. My kid logic told me it was probably from an employee restocking. So I emptied the cart, planks, cans, the whole lot, returned it, collected the 50 cents, and went to the kid corner to watch TV.

Here comes an employee with a VERY displeased older lady. She starts screaming at me, borderline crying, about how mean I am. I didn’t dare go into that store for years in case she or the employee recognized me.

Via u/Fooking_Yungblud

9. The teacher got the math final back on track with one word.

I was taking a math final after eating cheese sticks and protein bars all day. I’d been sneaking out silent farts all class. I thought I knew which ones would be silent. Thirty minutes in, I made the fatal error.

On a hard plastic chair, I let out the loudest fart of my young adult life. It breaks the silence, and every single head turns. My teacher just stands up and goes, “Alright,” and like a swarm of bees being dispersed, everyone turns back to their tests. I finished the test and BOOKED it.

Via u/Greta_Thrnbg_Stepdad

10. The skating rink DJ had one signature move.

I was working at a skating rink as a DJ and used to throw on my skates to mingle with customers. One of my moves was to drop into the splits and pull myself back up, like Michael Jackson. One evening, a kid who was a regular asked me to do the splits. I dropped into position. This time, I didn’t come back up.

The EMTs cut my pants off and gave me morphine on the skate floor while customers continued to skate. I’d dislocated my kneecap. At the hospital, my manager came to check on me. I thought it was odd that he took the longest possible route around the bed, nearly knocking over equipment to stand by my head.

I was too doped up to realize my hospital gown had fallen open.

Via u/HuckIeberry

11. The wrong person rang the doorbell.

I was waiting for a friend who had a bad cold. When the doorbell rang, I ran to open the door and jokingly pulled my shirt up over my nose and mouth so I wouldn’t catch it. I pulled it a little too high.

And that’s how I accidentally flashed a baffled salesman. He blushed. I blushed. We stared at each other for a second before I closed the door and hid in the darkest corner of my house.

Via u/onesmilematters

12. There’s a pretty good reason bathroom stalls lock from the inside.

I was around 13 when I went to the bathroom at school and found a stall locked. A normal person would say someone is in there. But my first thought was, “How do you lock a bathroom stall behind you? That’s not possible.”

So I crawled under the stall, and boom, there was someone in there. A piece of me still cringes when I think about it.

Via u/SummerDarlingg

13. The family has been spelling that one out for 21 years.

When I was like five, I shouted at my sister, “YOU’RE AN IDIOT. I-D-O-T.” Twenty-one years later, I’ve yet to live it down.

Via u/HipsterGalt

14. Somebody else’s microwave mistake became her birthday plans.

On my 19th birthday, there was a fire in my freshman dorm. I was in the shower when the alarm went off. I jumped out just as an RA ran in yelling that we needed to evacuate. I grabbed the closest towel and barely covered myself in time.

I stood outside in nothing but a towel for over two hours while the fire was put out and the building was cleared. Somebody had microwaved tin foil. It was the first week of school, so I hadn’t made any friends with a car who could come get me. It was…mildly frustrating.

Via u/Whacking_Material

15. A pocketknife came in handy at the bonfire.

I was at a party in the woods and had to pee, so I went to the tree line. I was wearing a long skirt, and somehow it got tangled in briars and evergreen branches. The more I tried to free myself, the worse it got. Before long, the skirt was almost over my head, my arms were tangled up, and I was exposed.

I finally called for help. Was it my friends who came to my rescue? Of course not. It had to be an Adonis of a man, quite possibly a model. He ended up using his pocketknife to cut my skirt out of the briars. Now I find it hilarious, but at 20 I thought it was the end of my existence.

Via u/Awesome_Possum22

16. It was a warm-up, which makes the commitment even funnier.

We were warming up for a track meet in seventh grade. I was running the final 200 meters of a relay, and I had an upset stomach. The third runner is about to reach me. I feel a rumble. I extend my arm, and the baton hits my hand.

I am speed incarnate. My breathing is measured. My limbs are working in perfect harmony. Calm as still water, I am a tranquil pool of glass. That is, until I have an accident.

I was less than a dozen steps into a 200-meter sprint. I could have ducked out to the locker room. We were hosting, after all. Instead, I ran as fast as I could in front of everybody.

Via an anonymous Reddit user

17. The name mix-up had an audience.

I was arrested in front of most of my coworkers and several hundred airline passengers because the Boone County, Kentucky, court system confused my last name with a similar last name.

Via an anonymous Reddit user

18. The headcount was off by one.

I thought I was the only one at work early one morning. There was zero chance any other worker would be there for hours. I was listening to loud music on my headphones. I had to fart, and I did. Loudly.

I turned around in my chair to see the overnight cleaning lady standing right behind me. She looked quite ill.

Via u/paulvs88

19. The rest of the class had some news for the lefty.

As a kid, I was left-handed. So I tried to make fun of this kid who was right-handed by saying, “No one writes with their right hand. You’re so weird.” Turns out, the whole class was right-handed. It was so embarrassing.

Via u/Mr_Terris

20. He found out how the flirting was going in the bathroom mirror.

When I was 18, I was at a party flirting with two girls. They said something funny, and I smirked and let a little air out through my nose. Their expressions changed completely. I could tell something was awkward, but I didn’t know what.

I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was a thin string of snot hanging from my nose down to my mouth. It was so thin I hadn’t noticed it and just kept talking.

Via an anonymous Reddit user

21. The seat belt would have come in handy about two seconds earlier.

I got on a crowded bus in Norway and headed for the only open seat, which faced an older woman. Before I could put on my seat belt, the bus started moving and came to a sudden stop. I lurched forward and accidentally face-planted into the poor woman’s chest.

Via an AskReddit commenter

22. The buffet oysters had a connecting flight.

I had the Bacchanal buffet at Caesars on my last day in Las Vegas. I was fine until I got on the plane. Then I really needed the bathroom.

We were racing a storm, so the flight attendants asked everyone to stay seated. After 25 minutes, they announced we’d have to taxi back and take off in the opposite direction. That was another 30 minutes. Then we flew right into the storm.

The seat belt sign was still on, but I couldn’t wait anymore. Everyone in the back of the plane could smell it when I opened the bathroom door. One guy even called me out on it. My fault for eating oysters at a buffet.

Via u/scott60561

23. The splits went exactly as planned. The pants had other ideas.

In sixth grade, I tried to do the splits at recess and tore my pants. Not just a small tear. The entire center of my pants blew out. I had to walk around the rest of the school day like that, with people in my class teasing me every chance they got.

Via u/DeathSpiral321

24. The teacher kept Febreze on standby.

In eighth grade, I had a teacher who kept bottles and bottles of Febreze in his classroom. Whenever he smelled something, he’d walk the aisles, sniffing, and spray a cloud of mist over whichever kid he thought it was. I’d forgotten to wear deodorant one day, and I was lucky enough to be rained in the freshness.

Via u/GoodFellaGotEm

25. Drama class got a little too physical.

Easily the time when I was breakdancing in drama class in grade 11 and kicked a girl in the face.

Via an anonymous Reddit user

The post 25 Funny Embarrassing Stories People Still Think About Years Later appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The part of feeding myself I’m best at is buying the ingredients. At the store, I’m a guy who’s going to make a sauce on Wednesday. By Wednesday, I’m eating shredded cheese out of the bag while I wait for the oven to preheat. By the time it’s preheated, I’m a little less hungry and a lot less interested in doing dishes. This is my daily struggle.

These funny tweets are for anyone who’s ever had a snack while deciding what to make for dinner.

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The post 23 Funny Tweets About The Daily Struggle Of Feeding Yourself appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

So I like that millennials on Reddit are finally taking credit for a few things we actually wanted gone. Some of these were rules we grew up assuming we’d have to follow forever. Others were just weird little inconveniences nobody ever bothered to question. My favorite answers are the ones that make you remember something you used to deal with every day and realize you haven’t thought about it in 20 years.

1. The Office Tattoo Taboo

“I remember in high school thinking I’d never be able to get a good job if I had any visible tattoos, and now here I am with arm and hand tattoos in a corporate job, thinking about what to get tattooed on the back of my head.”

u/FenwayFranklin

2. The Communal Bathroom Towel

“Those dispensers in public and school bathrooms were just one disgusting, continuous loop of a communal towel. I like to think we millennials were responsible for its long-overdue demise. More often than not, that towel was already damp from someone else using it when it was your turn to dry your hands. All that nasty towel did for me was force me to dry my hands on my pants. Sometimes, I still wonder if that towel ever got washed.”

u/Nebulous_Sundae4186

3. Jokes About Hating Your Spouse

“The ‘old ball-and-chain’ type jokes. My husband is my best friend. I don’t make jokes about hating my spouse. I think now people actually like their spouses.”

u/AB_7361

4. Dressing “Your Age”

“We killed looking old and frumpy. In my 30s and 40s, I’m just getting started on my hotness. I will be wearing bikinis and cute gym fits until I die.”

u/BadgerSecure2546

5. Suits As The Default Office Uniform

“Business formal as standard office wear. I hear some of the youngest entering the workforce are trying to bring it back. I suggest all millennial managers fire them.”

u/LurkerBurkeria

6. Changing Out Of Your “School Clothes”

“Electric can openers and fabric softener, but mostly ‘school clothes.’ My kids just have clothes, and I don’t freak out if they don’t change when they get home because they will get the good clothes dirty.”

u/punkass_book_jockey8

7. Being On The Hook For An Entire Wedding Season

“Ironing [is the worst]. Physical punishment is abhorrent. Reusable cloth napkins and hand towels are better than paper ones. No formal wear unless explicitly stated, no gemstones, and no elaborate weddings, for that matter. I’ll be there for your special day, but all the bridal showers, gift registries, weekend-long bachelor and bachelorette parties, and wedding-party expectations in general are absolutely soul- and wallet-sucking!”

u/Pizza-Kurwa

8. Styrofoam Plates At Holiday Dinner

“Disposable and single-use everything. It’s bull****. We use cloth napkins, towels for spills, handkerchiefs, storage containers instead of baggies, and durable clothing instead of cheap things. If any of these things get stained, life goes on. For example, we have plates and a dishwasher, but we’re gonna eat holiday dinner on f***ing Styrofoam? [No thanks.]”

u/ZookeepergameUpset62

9. Treating Perfect Attendance Like A Family Accomplishment

“I don’t make my kids function past their ability. My parents both worked, so school for us was daycare, complete with a before- and after-school program (11-plus hours a day). If we were sick or struggling, we had to do it anyway. There was no version where anyone took a day off. Fevers were dosed and ignored. My mom bragged that we were really healthy and didn’t miss a day of school from kindergarten to eighth grade. That’s nine years of perfect attendance! I believe my kids have shaped my life in a way that I can step away from work to let them be home when needed.”

u/purpleWord_spudger

10. Skinny Jeans

“Skinny jeans. I’d say you have no idea how happy I am that baggy women’s jeans are back in fashion, but you all understand perfectly.”

u/LudicrousSpeed-Go

11. Thank-You Cards For Everyone

“We just got married and sent them only to my older family members who would be offended if they didn’t get one. My friends and cousins have a general understanding that we know we are all grateful. No need to spend money on a stamp.”

u/orc123456

12. “Children Should Be Seen, Not Heard”

“I speak to my kids like they’re actual people with feelings and opinions, and I hear them out when they defend themselves. There’s no such thing as ‘talking back’ to me. They’re just talking. They’re allowed to get a little loud when they’re excited or upset. They can choose not to eat what I made for dinner. I’m not making anything else, but I’m not forcing them to eat it either. Little things like that.”

u/Round_Warthog1990

13. Calling Lab-Grown Diamonds “Fake”

“I have boomer family members who scoffed at lab-grown diamonds as being ‘fake.’ I said, ‘Do you want some American in a white coat in a laboratory to make a diamond that’s 100% the same chemical compound and structure as a natural one that you can’t tell the difference between, or do you want some slave in a third-world country to dig up a natural one so you can wear it?’ Also, you save thousands of dollars for something that looks and handles EXACTLY the same, if not better. They all said, ‘OK, good point.’”

u/Da_Spooky_Ghost

14. Getting Married And Having Kids On A Deadline

“Generational trauma, and marrying and having kids at a young age. I remember celebrating even more when I turned 37 and was not married or having children, while my mom was four kids deep and had two husbands. I am so happy with my life choices and prioritizing my mental health and not being a martyr when it comes to everything that goes wrong in my life, like the rest of my family.”

u/Epiffany84

15. Settling For Bad Chain Restaurant Wings

“A couple of years ago, I stopped at a popular restaurant chain to wait out a severe thunderstorm. Those were probably the worst chicken wings I’ve ever had in my entire life, literally all bread and no chicken. On a semi-related note, it never really sat well with me how some people treated eating at local restaurants vs. chains like some sort of pretentious hipster thing. What’s wrong with trying something new and different?”

u/out-went-the-light

16. Expecting Grad Students To Work Endlessly

“I am the millennial manager in my lab, and I refuse to continue the toxic bull**** and outrageous expectations of working endlessly that I was subjected to in my early years in science. I care about my grad students’ mental health and well-being.”

u/brokesciencenerd

17. Having Kids So Someone Will Take Care Of You Later

“Bringing children into the world to have someone care for you in old age, and then acting as if you did them a huge favor.”

u/BitterExercise91

18. “The Wife Does The Cooking”

“We ended the ‘wife does the cooking’ notion. Not a single millennial couple I know has a sole cook. Both people in heterosexual millennial marriages can and do cook for their spouse and families.”

u/redditsunrise

19. Treating Your Own Bedroom Like A Luxury

“Shared bedrooms with siblings. I remember when having your own room meant you were either an only child or rich. Today, a kid not having his own room borders on child abuse by our standards.”

u/Avp182

20. Refusing To Consider Mental Health Medication

“My father refused to allow my brother to take medication for his ADHD because he didn’t want his kid ‘all drugged up.’ He didn’t even tell my brother he had ADHD until he was about to enter college. My brother spent 18 years thinking he was just a bad kid because he couldn’t concentrate in class, especially if the topic didn’t interest him. I made an offhand comment a few years ago about how I’m sure I have anxiety. I proposed that being on medication for it might help me be able to go out, do things in crowds, and just not feel like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My dad immediately said, ‘That’s the problem with people. They think that being all drugged up is going to help them with everything.’”

u/CrimsonRaven712

21. Constantly Criticizing Your Own Appearance

“We’ve stopped being so self-deprecating about our appearances. All I ever heard from my mother and grandmother was how fat and ugly they thought they were.”

u/macarbrecadabre

22. Embarrassing Your Kids In Front Of Other Adults

“Actually wanting to engage with your kids and be excited by what they want to do, instead of humiliating your kids to impress or not be embarrassed in front of other adults.”

u/matrixplaydoh

23. Acting Like Therapy Is Something To Hide

“Refusing therapy! I think we have been successful in normalizing therapy and being open about mental health. I can’t imagine how helpful it will be to younger generations.”

u/Al_Tilly_the_Bum

24. Using Physical Punishment As Discipline

“I ended the trend of talking down to your kids and beating them with anything you can reach when they act up or do something wrong. Instead, we talk about the problem at hand and find ways to help them fix the problem. My kids have much higher self-esteem than I ever did and still don’t have. They also know where they can go if they need help with anything at all, and they use us the way we are intended to be used.”

u/Dthruwgfugirjsnf6

25. Brushing Off Gaslighting As A Family Misunderstanding

“Casual family abusive behaviors have previously been normalized. For me, the big one is pointing out gaslighting. I love that my generation has refused to buy into being told that we are the problem when we are not. I love that we point out when someone is being gaslit, whether it’s ourselves or others. I think this is partly because previous generations didn’t have a word to describe what was happening to them, but also because they just sucked it up and went on, calling it family affection, misunderstandings, or whatever. No, gaslighting is abuse, and millennials are quick to call out abusive behaviors. This goes along with that willingness to go to therapy, I think. Future generations, you’re welcome.”

u/mariposa34221

26. Needlessly Lying To Kids

“I have actually thought a lot about children and lying. I’d never tell a child, ‘Honesty is the best policy.’ That’s neither realistic nor true. I’d tell them that lying is a powerful skill that they need to learn to wield in life, but it is dangerous, too. Like learning to use a knife or the stove, you are going to hurt yourself, but that is better than hurting others. Also, lying is fundamentally a form of disrespect to whomever you are lying to. Likewise, I’d ditch the idea that everyone deserves respect by default.

“Everyone deserves dignity, courtesy, and tolerance from the start, but not respect. If you love and care about someone, you should avoid lying to them, especially needless lies. I always get grossed out when I hear someone is a ‘prankster.’ Pranks are lying for selfish sport. It’s narcissistic. It’s not even like I was pranked growing up or anything. It is just a foul concept.”

u/Riccma02

The post 26 Things Millennials Got Rid Of That Younger Generations Should Appreciate appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The folks featured on r/DelusionalArtists have no such problem. The subreddit collects art listings where the asking price is often the funniest part. I like to look at the piece first and guess the price before reading the listing. It’s like playing The Price Is Right in a room where nobody agrees on what they’re looking at.

1. Met A Guy At A Bar Who Told Me He Was An Artist And Then Said He Wanted To Draw Me

2. What A Steal

3. Hell Yeah Brother

4. I Am Batman?

5. I’m Hoping These Are A Joke But They Jumpscared Me When I Was Checking Marketplace

6. Stop Slow Children?

7. Apparently Trisha Paytas Has A Poshmark Store — Only $400!

8. Finally Found One

9. “Mona De Lisa”

10. Found On Mercari

11. These Are *Paid* Commissions

12. Only One Triad Left!

13. Pay Me $30 For A Poorly Traced Picture

I mean, the price isn’t terrible, but it’s delusional to think anyone is paying for a traced drawing.

14. Found These Gems A Few Months Ago

15. Found This Today…

16. Always Adding The Extra 0

Who is John Pork?

17. The Best Painting In His Collection

Description:
A historically accurate depiction of the man known as our lord and savior.
1 of 1 limited edition.
The best painting in my collection.

18. This Artist Is Onto Something $50 For Recycled Fan

19. I Paid 20$ To See This

20. How Much?!?

Came across this artist on IG and went to their Etsy wanting to buy these pieces for my clown-obsessed friend but uh…

21. 310$ Is Definitely The Right Price

22. This Cat Tree, Which Is Actually A Piece Of Drift Wood, Could Be Yours For The Low Low Price Of 3k!!!

23. “Gilgalad Gives Galadriel The Last Of The Mallorn Seeds”

Not sure whether to choose the Bad, Deluded or High Price flair with this one…

24. A Dinomite Bargain!

25. One For Royal Fans

26. Exquisite

Description:
Art is not appreciated enough these days, purchase this hand drawn pencil portrait of Zendaya as a hat…

27. I’m In Shock

I dont know if it count because she’s selling someone’s art that she bought but I’m in awe that she said it’s worth more than what she’s selling it for.

28. I Hate To Be Mean But…

29. They’re Original And She’s Given Up Her Day Job To Pursue It Full Time

30. Unhinged Penguin Sculpture

The post 30 Works Of Art Made With Far More Confidence Than Skill appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

That’s my favorite thing about a good tweet. Somebody will put more thought into a bag of chips than I put into buying a car, and then the next thing you know, I’m writing about it in a post.

Here are the funniest tweets I saw today. A pretty good way to call it a Monday, if you ask me.

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The post 30 Funniest Tweets Of The Day To End Your Monday On A High Note appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

My favorite part of Wong’s photos is that the people in them probably have no idea they were funny that day. They’re running errands or checking their phones. Then, for half a second, a sign or a reflection lines up just right, and Wong is there to catch it. I’d walk right past the same scene and only look up when I realized I’d missed my turn.

Follow Edas Wong Photography: Instagram | Facebook

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The post 40 Perfectly Timed Street Photos That Make Ordinary Life Look Staged appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The longer you hang out at somebody’s house, though, the more you learn about how their kitchen works. Sometimes it’s something harmless, like finding out they keep the mugs in a drawer. Other times you’re halfway through dinner when you see something that makes you wish you brought your own food.

People on Reddit shared the weirdest kitchen habits they’ve witnessed in other people’s homes. I’d have questions about many of these, but I’d probably save them for the car ride home. Or Reddit.

1. The fridge that was ready for exactly one thing

I opened a friend’s fridge and it contained 30–40 cans of whipped cream and NOTHING ELSE. Family of three.

u/Vampilton

2. The party hosts who took “wine blend” literally

I had an acquaintance whose place I went to a couple of times for parties. On both occasions, they brought out a blender to blend wine. I think one time I just saw them blend a single bottle, but another time they blended two bottles together. I think they fundamentally misunderstood what it meant to “blend wines” and thought that it involved the appliance. I was absolutely gobsmacked but didn’t know them well enough to feel comfortable asking them why they did it.

u/wickerfolk

3. The guy who skipped the knife block

Knew a guy who kept his chef’s knives stabbed into the wall.

u/daggomit

4. The dinner where everyone’s leftovers went to the same place

A friend of mine when I was growing up had me over for family dinner. We were served spaghetti. When everyone (five or six of us) was done, the mom scraped all of the uneaten spaghetti on everyone’s plate back into the big pot.

u/54sharks40

5. The dad with an entire wall of Coke and a separate policy for guests

The dad of a guy I went out with in high school had, I swear, an entire wall stacked with Coca-Cola 12-packs. Must have been 8 by 8 feet. No one was allowed to drink any of the cans except for him. If we wanted Coke, we had to drink from the stale 2-liter bottle in the fridge.

u/[deleted]

6. The roommate with a yogurt drawer and no interest in explaining it

I had a roommate I didn’t know well. We kind of ignored each other, and I didn’t want to ask too many questions. She kept six peach yogurt cups in a drawer in the kitchen (not in the fridge). I never saw her use any of them. One day, her boyfriend came over and found them. He asked why she had yogurt in a drawer, and she got kind of upset and told him to just put them back and leave them alone. After that, I was even more curious but even more afraid to ask.

u/TemperatureDizzy3257

7. The potatoes that got a little too clean

I watched my coworker wash his potatoes with dish soap. He squirted the soap straight onto the potato, rubbed it all over with his bare hands, rinsed it, and started chopping it. Then he threw the chopped, unpeeled, and soapy potatoes into a pot. He boiled them, mashed them without adding anything to them, then, for some reason, picked the skin out of the pot of mashed potatoes with his bare hands. No milk, cream, butter, salt, or anything. Tasted like a sad, soapy pile of compost.

u/ninesandaces

8. The family that treated ice like a luxury item

Growing up, I used to go to this one friend’s house almost every day after school. This was a middle-class family who made a decent amount of money. Her parents let us have however much soda we wanted, but it was always the off-brand cola ONLY that was stored in the garage. I live in the desert, so imagine walking home in 110 degrees in the summer and cracking a 90-degree cola. YUCK.

Finally I was like, “Yo, you have an ice machine in your fridge. Can we please have some ice?” For the longest time she’d tell me, “No, my parents told me ice is too expensive.”

Eventually she let me use their precious ice, but I had to drink from their red Solo cups, which the entire family REUSED. Once, they even flipped out on their maids because they threw away the dirty Solo cups. That house was so weird.

u/serialchillin

9. The husband who put the freezer in charge of doing dishes

My husband has a habit of just putting used utensils in the freezer. Not washed, just licked clean (sometimes). He says the freezer “kills” the bacteria and he can reuse them as many times as he wants.

u/BashfulBastian

10. The cook with a very specific dress code

I worked with someone who told me that if she ever cooks and bakes for other people, she will strip down to her underwear to avoid cross-contamination of dog hair or other linty bits from her clothes.

u/MapleGoose

11. The dad who reached into the silverware drawer for cleanup duty

My childhood dog would poop inside, and if it was…not solid, my dad would use a spoon to clean it up. Not a designated spoon that was the dog-poop spoon, just a regular spoon from the cutlery drawer. I did not discover this until he had been doing this for years. I was HORRIFIED and furious. When I told him it was disgusting, he got so defensive and said, “Well, how would you like me to clean it up?” I then listed many different ways to clean dog poop. My mom also didn’t seem too concerned with it.

I refused to use their cutlery until they no longer had any dogs and they had bought a new set. And quite frankly, I try to avoid eating there as much as possible because I have no idea what else my parents think is normal.

u/adoptdontshop1

12. The uncooked chicken that already had visitors

My uncle left raw chicken out on the counter for who knows how long, and it was covered in ants. I let him know. He rinsed the ants off and put the chicken back in the fridge.

u/MasterBallsCK

13. The woman who took a shortcut with the flour

Taking raw chicken and putting it directly in her flour canister to cover with flour to fry. I am still horrified years later.

u/Birdy304

14. The guy who found out how long a wooden spoon can last

I knew a guy who thought you were meant to throw out wooden spoons after each use. He’d spend so much money on them. When we told him you could reuse them, his mind was blown.

u/SkyMortar65

15. The neighbors whose dessert came with a little bit of dinner

My neighbors had to finish their plates completely, and I mean licked clean, because the dessert yogurt would be poured onto the used plates. It was so gross having yogurt with a bite of potato. It is still a running gag with my family.

u/Bigkoala14

16. The spaghetti sauce that was apparently too spicy

My ex-father-in-law thought traditional spaghetti with meat sauce was too “spicy,” so he would make noodles and top them with ground beef and ketchup.

u/Dottegirl67

17. The roommate who gave yesterday’s coffee another shot

My old roommate would take a coffee cup from the night before with old coffee and milk in it and make a new one in the morning without dumping the old coffee out first.

u/symbolicshambolic

18. The family where a glass of milk was mandatory

I was friends with a family who had six kids. The parents made everyone drink a full glass of milk with every meal, including guests. They would set out a gallon of milk on the table at each meal, and it would just sit there until it was all gone, even if it took longer than one meal. I’ve always hated drinking milk, but those experiences really finished it off for me.

u/Emergency_Peach6155

19. The missing dishes that were all in one room

My husband’s old roommate used to take a new dish every time he ate something and then leave it behind in his room instead of putting it in the dishwasher. One day, it occurred to my husband that there were like five dishes left in the kitchen, and the rest were nowhere to be found until he looked in said roommate’s room and found his moldy hoard.

u/GadgetRho

20. The friend who drew the line at dish soap

I have this friend, a grown adult male, who doesn’t wash his dishes with soap. I realized this after I had already eaten at his house several times. We were talking in his kitchen one day, and I watched him start washing a pan. He rinsed the food off with water and just put it up to dry?? Then, later on, he was at my house and yelled at me for washing a pan he had given me with soap. He was apparently scared I was going to take off the finish or something.

u/dee62383

21. The roommate who was in no hurry to boil water

After college, I had a roommate who said the best way to boil water was a “slow boil.” He insisted on using low heat.

u/Sunnyday-777

22. The meal prep invitation that was easy to turn down

She cut up raw meat using her bare hands, then opened drawers, cabinets, and the fridge before washing her hands. When she asked if I wanted to do weekly meal prep with her, I politely declined.

u/0nlyhalfjewish

23. The host who always had an old lemon to offer

I know someone who throws away almost nothing. This wouldn’t be a terrible habit if it didn’t mean offering you the moldy lemon that has been sitting on the counter for who knows how long because she refuses to just cut a new lemon. Also tomatoes, peppers, anything. I try not to eat there. She is very well off but has this hoarder mindset, especially around food. Also, she refuses to use chef’s knives and cooks exclusively with steak knives.

u/missanthropy09

24. The family with two kitchens that still washed everything by hand

I knew a family who had two full kitchens, yet they used the dishwasher to store bakeware. Everyone had to wash dishes by hand instead. I get it if you’re short on storage or don’t have a dishwasher, but space was not an issue here.

u/up_your_alli

25. The dishcloth that worked exactly one shift

Their dishcloth was used only once. They did the dishes, wiped down the stove top, counters, and cupboard fronts, then threw it in the bin and got a new one. Must cost a lot.

u/PsychologicalBit5422

26. The cabinets that had to stay open whenever the microwave ran

My mother-in-law insists on keeping cabinet doors above the microwave open. Why, you ask? So the heat doesn’t build up in the cabinet and start a fire.

u/HelpMySonIsARedditor

The post 26 Kitchen Habits People Witnessed At Someone Else’s House And Never Forgot appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

These everyday objects all got clever design upgrades. The best ones are the kind you understand in a second, especially if you’ve spent years doing some ridiculous little maneuver to get the regular version to work.

1. Clock Made Using Books With Numbers On The Cover Page. The Book Lounge In Kirkby Lonsdale

2. The Barcode On This Can Of Hairspray

3. This Guy’s Socks At The Gym

4. The Lines In This Parking Lot Extend Up Unto The Barrier

5. This Ceramic Coffee Mug That Looks Like It’s Made Of Cardboard

6. Anyone Know Where To Find And Buy This Cat Pot?

7. The Water Fountain Repair Guy Left Behind A Tiny Water Fountain Calling Card

8. This Train Has An Information Screen Which Shows How Full Each Carriage Is

9. Measuring Cups Designed To Visually Depict The Fractions They Represent

10. Honda Del Sol With A Trailer That Also Looks Like The Back Of A Del Sol

11. These Egg Chairs

12. USB Power Bank Disguised As A Mini Generator

13. My Fish Oil Capsules Are Shaped Like Fish

14. Can’t Believe A Tanker Has A Better Vibe Than Me

15. My Gardening Tool Kit Came With A Claw Glove

16. My Friend’s House Key Is Shaped Like A Sword

17. My Bucket Has A Flat Side To Put Against Walls

18. Keyhole On A Side Door Of The Bourdeux Cathedral, France

19. My Childhood Doctors Office Has A Mini Door Installed For Younger Patients

20. This Elevator Shows How Close To Capacity It Is Based On The Weight Of The Riders

21. This Microwave Has A Beeper Volume Control

22. The Plastic Utensils At This Tacqueria Have Wrappers Only Around The Mouth-End To Save Plastic

23. These Glow In The Dark Stair Stickers At My Work

24. This Pen Can Act As A Mobile Holder

25. This Cruise Ship I Went On Gave Me A USB Drive In The Shape Of The Ship

26. This DIY Rocket Lamp

27. This Boat You Can Sit Underneath The Water In

28. University Printer Rotates Each Separate Document To Avoid Confusing Multiple Students Work

29. This Tie Design

30. Mom’s New Apartment Has A Glow In The Dark Toilet

The post 30 Ordinary Objects That Got Surprisingly Clever Design Upgrades appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I would do the same thing, though. If I opened a coffee shop in an old bank, I’d keep the drive-thru tube. I don’t know how I’d get a latte through it, but that feels like a problem for whoever works there after I sell it.

My favorite way to look through these is to guess what each building used to be before reading the caption. Some of them give it away so fast you’ll feel like you used to work there.

1. Señior Colonel

2. This Trader Joe’s In Media, Pennsylvania, Used To Be An Armoury For The Pennsylvania National Guard

3. Walgreens That Used To Be A Historic Bank. Chicago, IL

4. A Former Cricket Wireless Is Now A Chicken Restaurant

5. This Sports Bar Used To Be A Hollywood Video Store. They Reused Parts Of The Original Sign

6. Taco Bell Turned Into Law Offices

7. Planet Fitness In A Former Circuit City. Phoenix, AZ

8. My College Used To Be A Shopping Mall

9. Former Taco Bell, Louisville, KY

10. Yes, You Were Always A Wireless Store

11. This Thrift Store Used To Be A Bowling Alley

12. A Bank Converted To Mcdonalds

13. Domino’s Used To Be A KFC, Albert Lea, Minnesota

14. Apple Store In An Old Theatre, Los Angeles

15. This Former Pizza Hut Got Turned Into A Home! The Owners Even Added A Garage And Lawn!

16. Former Bank, Now KFC. Owners Call It The Crystal Bucket. (Corning, NY Area)

17. Former Target Turned Into A Walmart, They Painted The Target Orbs Yellow Instead Of Removing Them

18. This Medical Facility Totally Used To Be A Pizza Hut

19. Little Caesar’s Pizza In A Former Sonic Drive-In; Location Unknown

20. KFC Turned Into A Jamba Juice

21. This “Starbucks” With Extra Pickup Lanes. So Convenient

22. The Owners Ended Their Quiznos Franchise But Wanted To Run A Sandwich Shop Still

23. The Subway I Went To Today Used To Be A Bank. Instead Of Removing The Vault They Just Added More Seating Inside

24. Gas Station Turned Into A Boost Mobile – North Carolina

25. Jay’s Liquor In Lakeland, FL (Former Blockbuster)

26. Gay Bar In Cedar Rapids Used To Be A McDonald’s

27. CVS Pharmacy Used To Be A Theatre, East Los Angeles, CA

28. Former Pizza Hut – Now La Piñata Mexican Grill, Childersburg Alabama

29. Former Pizza Hut Now An Asian Vegan Restaurant (Pinellas Park, FL)

30. Former Arby’s In Norfolk, Virginia

31. Value Village, Edmonton, Ab

32. Old Hollister Now A Bookstore

33. Former KFC, Broken Arrow, Ok

34. Spirit Halloween – Was Fraser Health Covid-19 Vaccination Clinic Until Last Week, Formerly Best Buy – Surrey, Bc

35. Last Year This Was A Jack In The Box

36. Ihop Now An International House Of Prayer

37. Former Walgreens Is Now A Planet Fitness

38. Old Taco Bell (Hamilton, Ontario)

39. Former CVS Now An Uber

40. Gresham, Or – This Was Once A Gas Station And Then A Used Car Lot Before Becoming A Jimmy John’s

The post 40 Buildings That Aren’t Fooling Anyone About What They Used To Be appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The people in these funny stories have a level of confidence I can only dream of. Some of them get all the way to the counter, hear that they’re in the wrong place, and ask to speak to somebody else. Imagine being the manager who has to come out of the back and confirm what store you’re all standing in.

My favorite stories are the ones people told on themselves. It’s nice to know some of us make it out to the parking lot and think, “You know what? That one was on me.”

1. “Indeed it is. Can I get a Big Mac?”

I was working at McDonald’s, and this lady said, “Can I get the Wendy’s 4 for 4?” I said, “Ma’am, this is a McDonald’s,” and without a moment’s hesitation, she replied, “Indeed it is. Can I get a Big Mac?”

u/lukemercer

2. He brought two cups of evidence to the Starbucks drive-thru.

Had a guy INSIST that I made his sweet teas wrong yesterday. He said he had the cups from the day before to prove it. I work at Starbucks. This man pulls up to my window and confidently sets down two half-full McDonald’s sweet teas. Sir, this is a Starbucks.

u/siouxxsiee

3. “This is an apple store. Like… crunch crunch?”

When I was about 12 or 13, I saved up my allowance and neighborhood yard work money to finally afford the newest iPod, the one that could play videos as well. I wanted to make sure they had it at the store before I got my parents to drive me there, so I opened the phone book, found the Apple Store, and called them.

Guy at Apple Store: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, do you have the iPod Video in stock?”

Guy: “Uh… this is an apple store. Like… crunch crunch?”

I had called the gift shop at an apple orchard.

u/GroggyWanderer

4. She was convinced the museum was hiding its fried chicken.

I work at a museum gift shop. I once had a lady come in asking to be seated for four people, thinking we were a restaurant famous for chicken dinners. I explained what we were, and that she was looking for the place four doors down. She immediately got mad at me, saying I was hiding the chicken from her and that she was positive she ate here last year when they were in town (even though our museum had existed for about 40 years at this point, so that was not possible).

It took her several minutes to leave, and even then, she still didn’t believe that we weren’t a chicken restaurant, despite having the word “museum” on our building and not a dead fried bird in sight.

u/thegassygoose

5. “You’re the same store!”

I worked at Best Buy. I was part of Geek Squad, with a counter adjoining Customer Service, and I heard this whole thing go down. A lady comes in irate about her laptop being slow (it’s a netbook, so yeah, it’s slow). Our customer service manager is there, and she’s going through the wringer trying to find this lady’s receipt. She checked every card, every name, every phone number.

Finally, the manager is like, “If you know the day you bought it, I can search the cash receipts, but it would have to be from this store.”

The lady goes, “Oh, I didn’t buy it here.”

The manager says, “OK, which Best Buy did you get it from?”

The lady says, “I got it at Walmart.”

“You can’t return something you bought at Walmart to Best Buy.”

The lady goes, “What do you mean? You’re the same store!”

u/venkmanphd

6. The pottery studio got a one-star review for running out of bread it never sold.

I used to work at a well-established paint-your-own-pottery studio with the word “bakers” in the name. Think “The Pottery Bakers.” Our windows were FILLED with pottery for sale, and the walls were lined with white bisque to be painted.

A woman came in and asked, “Do you have any baguettes?”

Me: “Baguettes?”

Her: “What else do you have?”

I looked around at the full room of people in smocks painting pottery, then looked back at her.

Her, with bizarre urgency: “Do you have any bread available?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are a pottery studio. We bake pottery. I do not have any bread.”

The next day, she left us a one-star review claiming that our store name was deliberately misleading so that we could lure people in to visit under the “false pretenses” of being a bakery of breads.

u/causa_sui

7. “Well, unlike you, I actually have a job!”

Had a guy come into my place of work, ticked off because he missed his payment date and had to pay extra to turn his phone back on. He said something along the lines of, “It was due at midnight, and y’all aren’t open at midnight, so how was I supposed to pay?”

I calmly explained that we are open until 7:00 p.m. every day but Sunday, and he screamed, “Well, unlike you, I actually have a job!”

At my job. Whilst doing my job.

u/lordgabe92again

8. He made it through his whole Volkswagen rant at the Nissan dealership.

I was sitting in the waiting lounge of the service department at my car dealership getting an oil change when a red-faced man THREW the door open and stormed up to the service desk. He immediately started shouting and swearing about how he was sick and tired of the dealership and how they did business. He said, “If I had known what a terrible business this was, I would’ve never bought a Volkswagen. I’m sorry I ever bought it.”

The service advisor looked at him and said, “The VW dealership is next door. This is a NISSAN dealership.”

The man stood there for a second, processing. Then, he just let out a ROAR and ran out the door. Everyone looked at each other with wide eyes.

u/Javaman1960

9. She wanted a refund because her hot fudge sundae was melting.

I worked in an ice cream shop when I was 16 or 17, and I had a lady scream at us, demanding a refund because her ice cream was melting too fast. She had ordered hot fudge on it.

u/fuzzbeebs

10. The gas station actually knew how to get a library card.

I worked at a gas station when I was 19. People called to ask about the lottery, gas prices, etc. I always said the same thing when I answered, to make sure they knew which of our locations they had called, because there were quite a few nearby, and people got them mixed up.

“Thank you for calling [gas station] in [town]. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

The phone rings. I recite my lines. The person asked, “What do I need to get a library card?”

I was perplexed, but I had literally just gotten one a week earlier, so technically, I did know.

“Um, I mean, when I got mine, I needed to show ID, but then I also needed a current piece of mail to reflect my current address.”

A pause, as she recognized my confusion. “Is this not the library in [town 45 MINUTES AWAY]?”

“No, this is a gas station.”

u/ghcstxbcy

11. “What is this place? Walmart?”

I worked at Walmart for a long time in the hardware department. I once had a customer call asking if we sold toilets. I said, “Like, toilet seats?”

He said, “No, like actual toilets.”

So I said, “Sorry, we just sell the seats and replacement parts. No porcelain.”

He got all huffy and said, “What is this place? Walmart?”

I paused momentarily and said, “Yes, sir, it is.”

Silence for a long moment. Then, he said, in a little voice, “This isn’t Home Depot?”

“No, sir, you called Walmart.”

“Oh, I am so sorry!”

He hung up. I laughed my butt off.

u/StarBabyEleven

12. She called the fire station to get her pool filled.

I had someone call my fire station and ask us to come fill up her pool.

Her: “I need you to come and fill up my pool, please.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, we do not do that. We are a fire department.”

Her: “Well, who am I supposed to call to have my pool filled up? You guys have the water trucks.”

Me: “I am not totally sure, ma’am, but once again, we are a fire department. Our fire engines use their water for emergencies, not to fill pools.”

Her: “Well, my taxes pay for your salary and vehicles, so you need to come fill up my pool!”

Me: “I am sorry, but we cannot do that. Have a good day, ma’am.”

It was ridiculous and hilarious. I could not believe the entitlement!

AskReddit

13. “When do you turn the geysers on?”

I worked in a national park. I was asked when we turn the geysers on. I was also asked when we let the bears out for viewing. Ma’am, this isn’t an amusement park.

u/IntoTheMystic8

14. The rotisserie chicken guy got pulled into an underwear emergency.

I worked at Sam’s Club during the height of the pandemic. The toilet paper wars were raging, and every beef and pork product had been out of stock for days. I was the rotisserie chicken guy, so basically the only money-maker in the meat department.

I was performing the never-ending grease cleaning routine that took up my time while the chickens cooked, and a dude in his 50s or 60s frantically came up to me and asked, “WHAT SIZE UNDERWEAR AM I WEARING?!”

Before I could respond, he turned around and flipped the elastic band of his tighty-whities at me. He was a medium. He thanked me and speed-walked toward the clothing section. I guess men’s underwear was in danger of disappearing that day.

u/tuckerx78

15. He figured the barber chairs were behind all the stained glass lamps.

This barbershop in my local mall closed down and was replaced with a place that sold stained glass lamps and figurines and mini fountains. My husband did not realize this and still insisted on entering the shop and asking for a haircut, even though you could clearly see it was no longer a barbershop, and I told him as much.

He thought the barber chairs must just be in the back, and the front of the store was just a gift shop, for some reason. I refused to enter the store with him on this quest, out of embarrassment, and now, 10 years later, it’s still something we laugh about. He’s never done anything like that before or since, so I don’t know what switch turned off in his brain in that moment.

u/jainelaine

16. “You need to be willing to negotiate. That’s how flea markets work.”

I was an associate working in the Cracker Barrel store, and a woman came in and was interested in one of our lamps. It was $100. She offered me $30 for it, and I told her I could only sell it at the ticketed price. She offered to go up to $50. I told her again that I could only sell it at the ticketed price.

Her response: “You need to be willing to negotiate. That’s how flea markets work.”

And then I had to explain, politely because she was a customer, that we were a regular retail store and not, in fact, a flea market. It took more explaining than it should have. She did not buy the lamp.

u/MidnighyAmethyst23

17. “I can get steak at Taco Bell!”

When I worked at McDonald’s, someone came in and demanded steak. It was a McDonald’s. He demanded to see a manager, who helpfully informed him this was a McDonald’s.

“I can get steak at Taco Bell!” he claimed.

Then go to Taco Bell?

u/joy3111

18. A phone scammer accidentally called a judge’s chambers.

I work as a law clerk for a judge, and a scammer called my chambers, doing the classic “I’m trying to reach the property owner for blah blah blah because you might be entitled to a government tax rebate.”

I responded, “This is the 15th Division of the First Circuit Court. You know that, right?”

He hung up immediately.

u/Rodby

19. “Carrots, like for cooking.”

A woman came into our store and asked where the carrots were. We thought maybe it was a new brand we hadn’t heard of yet, so we asked her to clarify.

“Carrots, like for cooking,” she said.

I wonder what part of walking into an electronics store and seeing computers everywhere made her go, “Yeah, this store definitely has produce somewhere.”

u/s317sv17vnv

20. The liquor store got an angry review over a flat tire.

A guy came into my liquor store and asked if we could help change his tire. We didn’t change his tire, and he left one real angry online review.

u/Bog2ElectricBoogaloo

21. He waited 10 minutes at Ulta for a pair of shoes.

While working at Ulta, there was a guy in the store for, like, 10 minutes waiting while I tried to find something his girlfriend had put on hold, only to realize he meant to go to the shoe store next door. Until I asked him what his girlfriend had wanted and he said, “Shoes,” he never once stopped to think about the fact that there was nothing even remotely resembling a shoe for sale in the entire store.

u/TarMiriel

22. One guy had the wrong restaurant. The other had the wrong state.

I worked to-go at Ruby Tuesday, and countless people came in yelling about their food. These were my favorite two.

A man was furious we didn’t have his food ready and just immediately started yelling at me. I politely asked what he ordered and said I’d get it ready ASAP. He started listing menu items we don’t have, and on a hunch, I said, “Did you mean to go to Applebee’s?”

He said, “Yeah. Where am I?”

“Not Applebee’s,” I said.

A guest was mad about their order, which we didn’t have any record of, and swore up and down that they spoke to someone on the phone to confirm. I asked for the phone number he called to confirm. He called a city in Colorado with the same name. We were in Maryland. Neither one apologized.

google_118227220763140986694

23. The office breakfast came to more than $100.

A lady I used to work with was sent to go get breakfast for the office. She was told to go to McDonald’s and get a bunch of sausage biscuits or something. She goes through the drive-thru and orders. The price was over $100, and she didn’t think that was quite right, so she finally put it together that she was not, in fact, at McDonald’s. She was at Starbucks. She never goes to Starbucks as it is, but they were also pretty far apart and don’t look even remotely similar. It was pretty funny.

u/jelyselauren

24. The pharmacy got a visit from someone who needed an exterminator.

Many years ago, I worked as a pharmacy tech for a big chain. One day, this lady came up to the counter and asked me if I could help her. She reached into her purse, grabbed a bag, and opened it for me to see. I looked in and saw a bag full of bugs. Many were dead, but a few were moving.

She goes on to tell me that she “found” these bugs in her car, home, food, hair, and inside her (whatever that means). I quickly realized this was above my pay grade, so I called my pharmacist for a consultation. I hid and eavesdropped on their conversation. My pharmacist told her we’re a pharmacy, and she needed to call an exterminator.

u/TenLate

25. She wanted someone at Lowe’s to start building her deck that morning.

I was in Lowe’s one morning right after they opened. A woman at the service desk was having a complete meltdown, yelling and screaming because Lowe’s didn’t have a licensed contractor there at the store for her to hire.

She apparently woke up that morning and decided she needed a deck that same day, and she thought she could just go to Lowe’s and have someone start building a deck immediately. It was dead, so I stood with the cashier listening to the show. They had to call the police to get her to leave.

u/DasGoat

26. She wanted Chick-fil-A to make an exception for one Whopper.

My brother was working at Chick-fil-A in the drive-thru. A guest asked for a Whopper with cheese. My brother said, “Ma’am, this isn’t a Burger King. We only have chicken sandwiches.”

She started screaming at him and asked why he couldn’t just make it. He told her they didn’t have beef anywhere in the store. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and the manager had to come out.

u/Accomplished_Cow_662

27. The tax office was the first door he tried.

I work for a CPA office in an office park with a couple of doctors’ offices. One day, a guy came in, only speaking Spanish, so I grabbed my Spanish-speaking colleague to translate. He talked to the guy in the lobby for a few minutes, then the guy left, and my coworker came back and asked if that was a joke or if we put someone up to that.

Apparently, the guy explained that his testicles were extremely swollen and painful. He was looking for one of the doctors’ offices and just walked into the first building in the complex. Sir, we do taxes here, not testicles.

u/AlternativeAcademia

28. She was convinced Ulta was holding out on the Sephora gift cards.

I used to work at Ulta, and I had someone get super upset that I couldn’t sell them a Sephora gift card. Even after explaining in multiple ways that we were two different companies, they were convinced I was just refusing them because I could. It was bizarre.

u/TarMiriel

29. He called Verizon about a downed power line.

When I worked for a Verizon call center, I used to have so many of these stories. The only one I can remember is when it took me over five minutes to convince a man that I could do nothing about power lines being down near his house. He apparently even had a separate landline service that did actually run lines in his neighborhood, but no, he was adamant that his cellphone carrier could just get that fixed. People also somehow believed that all tech support lines are the same, and seemed disappointed that we couldn’t help them fix major appliances.

The weirdest things I get now are the occasional people convinced that a pharmacy located in a grocery store can sell them mobility power chairs or just give them antibiotics without a prescription. Maybe somewhere in the world, my guy, but that’s literally never been a thing in the US medical system.

u/jeffg4c54ea76d

30. He blamed Kmart’s downfall on the pet aisle.

I used to work for Kmart. Someone came into the store and wanted to know where the pet department was located. We only had one aisle of pet items, and it was mostly items for dogs and cats (food, litter, toys, etc.). I took the customer to the aisle, and they said, “This is it? This is all you have for pet supplies? You don’t have an actual department, like other stores?”

I said, “Yes, sir. We just carry the basics. If you need a bigger selection, there is a Pet Supplies Plus located at the other end of the plaza.”

The customer got upset and said, “But if I wanted to go to Pet Supplies Plus, I would have gone there. But I wanted to go to Kmart. So, I’m guessing you don’t have fish food or anything like that?”

I showed him the same selection of fish food, and he got upset.

He then started asking for advice on fish tanks, and again, I directed him to the Pet Supplies Plus that was located just a couple of storefronts down from Kmart. When he insisted on not going to that store, I gave him directions to two other pet stores in the area.

Eventually, he left, but not before saying, “This is why Kmart is going out of business!” Sure, buddy, the lack of a pet department is the sole reason Kmart is going out of business.

u/DannyC990

31. He orders a Whopper at Whataburger every time.

My husband asks for a Whopper every time we go to Whataburger, and it never fails to crack me up. 💀 I just let him do it too because it is so genuine and I love hearing them say they don’t do Whoppers there, LOL.

u/kimbabe20

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