Luckily, being funny about Halloween requires considerably fewer supplies.

These Halloween tweets have the right idea, and none of them require me to spend $60 on something I’ll store in a grocery bag for the next eleven years.

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The post 40 Funny Halloween Tweets That Deserve A Full-Size Candy Bar appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

As a comedian, I respect it. As someone who occasionally thinks of a good comeback three days after a conversation, I’d appreciate a little more time to compete.

That’s what makes these comment sections so good. Someone spots a detail everyone else missed, asks exactly the right question, or gives a very confident person something to think about. The post gets your attention, but the replies are why you end up taking a screenshot.

These comments knocked it out of the park.

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The post 35 Funny Times The Original Post Was Just A Setup For The Comment Section appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Still, I understand the temptation. Sometimes you’re tired. Sometimes you just want a free pen and somehow end up discussing your future in nursing.

These people shared the little lies they told that did everything BUT stay little. A few led to good outcomes, but plenty became a problem their younger selves had generously left for them to deal with later.

1. One Comment About Expensive Jam Turned Into An Academic Career

“During my undergrad I took a number of business courses. During one of these courses we were learning about a small company that produced high end jam. The prof asked the class what we thought of high end jam as a business. I said that it was a stupid idea, why would I pay $20 for a bottle of jam when I could make it myself. I meant that as a rhetorical question but apparently my prof took my literally. When I was packing up at the end of class the prof came over to me and started asking me all sorts of questions about jam making. So I rolled with it. I lied and told him how my grandmother taught me how to make jam, when the right time to pick the berries was to ensure optimal jam, etc. I don’t know how to make jam. I had no idea what I was saying but the prof bought it. We became buds. After every class we would chat, mostly about jam. He wrote my reference letter to get into my competitive undergrad program and again when I applied for my masters. I owe most of my academic career to jam.

quilles

2. All They Wanted Was A Free Pen

“I was at a job fair against my will. Was trying to steal a pen so I could retire to a dark corner and doodle while everyone else did their thing. The lady caught me taking a pen, and I had to act interested in her sales pitch. Then a news reporter showed up. Before I knew it, I was in national papers as a general human interest story as a turnaround miracle story, of how I’d come all the way from the barren plains of another country far away while kicking mental illness and addiction, and now wanted to become a nurse. I don’t, nor have I ever, wanted to be a nurse, but that interview sure snowballed all out of proportion. All I wanted was a free pen. Its been ten years and people are still asking how the nursing career is going.

GreenGlassDrgn

3. Buying Less Milk Created A Breakup That Never Happened

“My girlfriend and I used to buy milk at the 7-11 across the street from our apt, because for whatever reason their gallons of 1% were always a dollar cheaper than the grocery store. Reza, The young middle eastern guy who managed the store got to know us fairly well, in that we would always greet eachother and occasionally if he saw their stocks of 1% gallons running low he would store one in the back for us because he knew we would always come in at like 2 pm every Sunday for milk. Really nice guy. The week before we took a vacation, the girlfriend was studying her a*s off for her exam, so I did the grocery shopping alone. Because we were leaving mid week for our trip, I only bought a half gallon of milk. Of f*****g course Reza assumes the worst. He assumes that we’ve broken up. He asked where she was and I just kind of grumbled, ready to launch into explaining how her test was tomorrow and whatnot, but before I could he just launched into this whole big apology like he didn’t realize and how he just got divorced and how he misses her every day….I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was just busy today, and that we were leaving for the week so I just went with it. I didn’t want my gf to think I was a s**tbird, so I neglected to tell her when I got home. Two weeks later, (coincidentally the gf is busy working a weekend shift to make up for our week off) I go back in, grab a gallon of 1%, and quickly realize that looks bad, so I turn around, put the gallon back, and grabbed the half gallon. The whole time Reza is watching me, dejectedly. He starts telling me it gets better, hang in there, we can grab coffee if I want to talk. I politely decline, and quickly realize this lie is going to spiral out of control real fast. I think I told the gf that they were out of gallons and Reza didn’t save us one this week. In the ensuing weeks, I proceeded to make all efforts to buy milk when the gf wasn’t around. She still didn’t know. I “decided to start working out”, so I was able to justify to Reza the purchase of a gallon of 1%. We would normally chat for a few minutes and we would ask each other how things were and We would both give vague answers and wish each other well and be on our way. Eventually, one day the gf goes to 7-11 on her own when I wasn’t around. I guess Reza helped her, made small talk, but was definitely weird towards her. She texts me about it and at this point I knew the jig was up and I had to come clean. When I get home I explain everything to her, and she laughs, calls me an idiot, but at the same time thought it was cute for me to keep up the facade and commiserate with Reza, who was clearly dealing with some of his own issues. She decided that we needed to stage a reunion. So the following Sunday, we waltzed in, arm in arm, looking cheery. We could feel his eyes following us around the room, I made eye contact with him once or twice, he was trying desperately and failing to hold back the biggest knowing grin I’ve ever seen. Finally we go to check out and he starts wringing his hands and finally bursts out about he was rooting for us and how happy he was that we worked it out. The look of excitement and happiness on Reza’s face was probably one of the most uplifting moments I’ve ever had. He told us repeatedly how we give him hope and how not the whole world is evil… holy c**p. Glad we could help you Reza, sorry I lied about the milk.

Chahles88

4. Blaming The Dog For Missing Chocolate Set Off An Entire Chain Reaction

“Once when I was around 6 or 7, my mom brought home some delicious chocolate, and gave some to me. I loved the stuff and stole the bar that she had saved for my step-dad. He comes home and my mom can’t find the chocolate. She asks me what happened to it, I blame the Duncan (our dog) knowing that he often eats things off the counter (I didn’t know at the time that chocolate was toxic for dogs), My mom goes terribly pale and rushes Duncan to the vet, and he has to throw up. I felt terrible about this as I thought it was because he stole the chocolate and was some form of punishment. The next day she brings home more chocolate. Nobody told me that it was for Duncan’s own good that he was taken to the vet. So feeling bad for doing this to Duncan, I give him my chocolate this time thinking he deserved it after taking one for the team last time. Later that night my mom asks me how the chocolate was, this time I decided to tell the full truth and explained that I gave the chocolate to Duncan this time as I felt bad for getting him in trouble the first time. So another late night trip to the vet, and I finally was told that chocolate is toxic for dogs. Duncan was fine in the end, and for the rest of his life I snuck him meat and other things that would not kill him. Now the twist is that the very expensive vets trips cost a lot of money, which prompted my mom to take a look at our expenses. She found that the then step-dad was hiding an affair, and then got a divorce. TL;DR: I lied about our dog almost dying, then almost killed him on accident, causing my mom to get divorced.

BriceWithRice

5. The Kids Immediately Broke The First Rule Of Fight Club

“Back when I was 16 I was a camp counselor for a group of kinder gardeners. A few of them wouldn’t stop shoving each other, so I told them (jokingly) to save it for fight club which was at the end of the day… being kids they thought fight club was real and told their parents about fight club which resulted in me having to explain to the administration and all the parents that no… there was no fight club. I wasn’t hired the following year. They broke the first rule of fight club.

puckislife_24

6. Their Excuse For Skipping A Concert Came With Birthday Presents

“In college, the girls in the apartment downstairs asked my roommate and I if we’d like to join them at a concert a month away. Neither of us wanted to, and my quick thinking roommate said that date is my birthday (it wasn’t) and we have other plans. They ended up not going to the concert, and we had forgotten about it—but on that date they called me downstairs to help them move something. I walked in the door, and “Surprise!!” A birthday party for me with about 15 people there. My roommate was just as surprised. I couldn’t tell them the truth and just went with it. Even got a couple small gifts. I always felt guilty about it.

Scrappy_Larue

7. The Family Piano Prodigy Had One Small Technical Advantage

“Oh man. When I was 7 I had been learning how to play the keyboard for two years. It was one of those Casio keyboards that had light up keys to learn how to play a song. If you put the easy setting on you could literally hit 1 or 2 keys over and over again and it would play the entire song through. So at the age of 7 my grandparents thought I was a prodigy. I could ‘play’ Fur Elise, Canon in D and Moonlight Sonata. Family and friends would come over to listen/watch me play and were astounded. 2 years or so go by like this. For my 10th birthday my grandparents bought me a real piano and signed me up for a summer camp where ‘prodigies’ of different instruments went to compete. VERY expensive. My entire family, friends from school and a priest family friend was there for my birthday party and wanted to hear me play on my new piano. I broke down crying and ran to my room and confessed to my grand-mom what I had been doing for years and it broke her heart AND trust for me. It sucked. I still cringe when I think about it. I’ve been playing for over 20 years now though and can play all of the songs I listed and probably hundreds more now.

melapot8

8. Trying To Skip School Took A Very Unexpected Turn

“When I was like 11, I wanted to get out of school the next day, so on the way home from a super bowl party with my mom I started acting like my stomach hurt, she said she’d give me something at home for my stomachache. Knowing this wouldn’t get me out of school, I started fake crying and said it really really hurts. By this time we were already in the driveway of our apartment, she looked at me and said I’m gonna take you to the hospital but if your faking, I’m gonna beat your a*s! (Mexican household), so I stuck to my story and continued sobbing and saying it hurts. We get to the hospital and they don’t know what’s wrong with me so they wanna do a cat scan of me, my mom agrees and off I go, after the scan the doctor told us he thinks my appendix looked a little inflamed and that was probably the reason for the pain (I literally had no pain or discomfort anywhere) and that they wanted to remove it which means surgery, my heart sank at the news, but I knew I couldn’t confess now I was to deep. So they schedule the surgery for the next morning , the morning comes and about half my family is there for support and prayer. I’m super f*****g nervous at this point so when the nurse gave me a shot on my butt cheek I accidentally tensed up and felt one of the worst pains of my life, they take me into surgery and everything thing went fine, the surgeon even came to recovery and showed me my appendix which was awesome! I stayed in the hospital for about a day then I went home but before that the doc told my mom I couldn’t go back to school for about two weeks while cuts healed which was also awesome! Even better my church royal ranger group visited me at my house and brought me this big basket filled with snacks and candy. It was the best two weeks of my life, my mom made my brother get me what I wanted cuz she didn’t want me moving around, I just played video games the entire two weeks, then I had to go back to school. I’m 23 now and have not told a soul I was faking being sick, I like to think of it as one of my greatest achievements. The end….sorry ma. TL;DR: faked being sick and went into surgery just to get out of school.

Anonymous

9. A Broken Game Boy Somehow Became A Court Case

“When I was in elementary school, so probably like 10 years old at the time, I had this friend C. C was that small, pale, frail kid with glasses, I think everyone knows the type. No matter what physical activity this kid did, he would inevitably end up injured in some “horrific” way (i.e. twisted ankle, bruised leg) and would wind up on the ground writhing in pain. If his mother was in eyesight when this happened, which was basically any time we weren’t at school, she would rush over to scoop him up and drive him to the closest hospital without hesitation. We will call this helicopter woman Ms. M. Now me and C were good friends, and had been since the first grade. I’d often go over to his house, and he to mine. One thing to note was that looking back, I’m pretty sure Ms. M was a hoarder. Just loads of c**p piled up everywhere, could barely see the floor in her bedroom, it was nuts. Anyway, one year C had a birthday party at his house, and he invited myself and a few other close friends to a sleepover. I guess this must have taken place in 2003 or 2004, because for his birthday, Ms. M bought C a Gameboy SP. He quickly opened it and we spent the next 3 hours huddled around C as he played whatever game came with the system. But eventually, we decided to take advantage of the last few hours of daylight outside, and went to play in the backyard. All except T, a mutual friend of C and I’s. He insisted on staying inside and playing, which we let him do for a while. Eventually we needed another player for football, so we went inside to grab T. After a few minutes of arguing, I managed to snatch the Gameboy from T, and told him I was going to hide it, so he might as well go outside. He did, and I put the Gameboy under a recliner in the living room. Well, at some point that night, somebody sat in the recliner, and the frame of the chair ended up cracking the screen of the Gameboy. Well, T knew I hid it somewhere, so the blame inevitably shifted onto me. But I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I adopted the Bill Clinton defense; deny, deny, deny. Ms. M ended up calling my mother to pick me up, and they had a huge argument while I was sitting in the car. My mom told me not to talk to C or Ms. M anymore, and that was that. I saw C at school every day, but we just sort of avoided each other. Any time I saw Ms. M, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. Which sucked, because she seemed to be at school **CONSTANTLY** after that. Whatever, life goes on. **BUT WAIT!! THERE’S MORE** Fast forward a few years, and Ms. M ends up bringing my family to court, claiming 75 cents a day in damages for the broken Gameboy SP. She had waited as long as she possibly could before the statute of limitations prevented a lawsuit. I think in total she was asking for close to $1000 USD. This was so far into the future, I hadn’t seen C for probably 4 or 5 years (he transferred schools not long after the incident) but he looked exactly the same at the trial as he did back then. Anyway, we have our day in court and we wait in the courtroom for hours until our case is called. We walk up to the bench, the judge takes a look at the case, and tells C and I to stand right in front of her. She leans over the bench and said something to the effect of “I’m glad that your parents have brought you in today, because I’m about to teach you both a lesson. Turning to the court to resolve an issue about a broken toy, is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in weeks. Deciding to brood on an issue for years in order to profit as much as possible from a fellow man is not a decision worthy of you young men. I hope that after today, you will have a greater understanding of what the judicial system is here for, and that it isn’t a tool to get back at someone. Case dismissed.” She also had a few choice words for both of our parents, but I don’t remember exactly what they were. Sorry folks! Thanks for reading. TL;DR: Accidentally had a part in breaking a friends Gameboy SP, made like Bill Clinton and denied that s**t, got sued ~6 years later. 2/10 wouldn’t do again.

gameboythrowaway28

10. Their Siblings Gave The Fire Drill A Much Scarier Backstory

“Being the youngest sibling I was always getting razzed, so one time they told me as I was starting school to look out for the firey drill, I had never been in school so I asked what it was. “You will hear a loud bell that warns children when this man comes to the school and attacks with a drill thats on fire and tries to drill into the kids brains!” So a few weeks into school there is a fire drill, so I take off screaming like crazy hoping to survive running as far away from the school as I could. My Mom was not too happy with my siblings when she got the call from our school telling her I was gone.

ComptonUnicorn

11. A Birthday Dinner Exposed A Lie That Had Lasted Three Years

“Not my lie but was told to me by my college roommate, and has pretty much upended everything I ever thought I knew about the world or the human condition: On the first day of college me and my 3 roommates (randomly assigned, never met) move in to our apartment. It happens to be roommate X’s birthday on the day we move in. He casually mentions that he just turned 18, we wish him a happy birthday, nothing out of the ordinary, right? WRONG. Fast forward to 3 years later, exactly 3 years to the day. We take roommate X out for dinner on what should be his 21st birthday, obviously intending to pour drinks down his throat until he can’t remember his name. We’re at the table telling the waitress to “take care of him” “its all on us” “he just turned 21 break out the beer bong!” etc. She cards him kind of as a joke, looks at his ID, and goes, “uhhhh… you just turned 22? Not 21?”. We all assume she made a math error, but he sheepishly just nods his head and grabs for his ID back. At this point we can’t just pretend like nothing happened and ask him how old he had turned on that day. He looks around like he’s looking for an escape route and eventually says “21…”. I’m skeptical at this point, so I ask to see his ID. He hesitates but realizes there’s no way out and hands it to me. Sure as the sunrise this kid is 22 years old. At this point the waitress has been standing around awkwardly for a few minutes and eventually just peaces out. Now you may be thinking that this was one casual lie/mistake that he made on the very first day and just never had reason to correct. But think back to college. Think of all of the subtle lies this kid must have told me, our other roommates, hell almost everyone he ever met over the course of that 3 year period, to never, *ever* let it slip that he’s actually a year older than we all think. We even went through basically an entire year of “not being able to buy alcohol” thinking he was 20 like the rest of us, when he was actually 21. I can’t even count how many parties we had where we had to hustle hard just to get a couple of cases of Natty Ice, and this guy could have solved them all by just admitting his lie. But he never did. This hit me really hard, and for the life of me I can still not explain why I am so confused or upset or offended or IDONTKNOWWHAT about this. For weeks afterward the only conversation we would have is me asking him why he would lie about something like that, how many times he must have almost slipped up and told us the truth, and JUST WHY on earth he would go so all in on such an inconsequential lie. He never had an answer at all. Not even “I was trolling” or “I thought it would be funny.” Just kinda shrugged and went “idunno”. And that’s got to be what gets me the most. The possibility that there really was no reason for this lie, and that I just got trolled for 3 years because this guy accidentally said 18 instead of 19 and was too embarrassed or lazy or whatever to ever correct himself. It’s now 6 years later and this thought train still keeps me up at night sometimes. *I just want to know why*

Anonymous

12. A Fake Emergency Revealed Who Their Real Friend Was

“Once when I was a kid I invited a kid that I bullied horribly over to my house for a sleepover because I was told I had to do something nice for someone I hurt by our priest during confession (I went to a catholic school). The next day after a pretty boring night we were playing in the snow banks and I lied telling him my foot was stuck and I couldn’t get it out, he ran well over a mile back to my house to get my mom to “save” me… well that kind of woke me up and made me realize “this kid isn’t that bad.” After that day I never bullied anyone again, and 20 years later that turd that I bullied so terribly is still my best friend, was the best man at my wedding, and the godfather of my first child.

Alk3PrivateEye

13. Teaching A Toddler The Wrong Word Created A Nursery Emergency

“Not sure if this counts as a lie, but I convinced my sister that the word “dead” meant “gone”. My little sister is 16 years younger than me. When she started talking, every time someone would leave the room, I’d say “X dead”, like “Mummy dead”. Eventually, she believed that the word “dead” meant “gone”, and she started to use it herself. Needless to say, my mother wasn’t very happy, but we all found it kind of funny to be honest, and when you laugh at something a child does, they do it again and again. She got to about 2 and a half years old, and my mum dropped her off at nursery. Up until this point, for whatever reason, she’d never said it outside the house. So in the middle of the day, when she said “Mummy dead”, the care workers at the nursery freaked the f**k out. They tried to ring my mum, but she is notoriously terrible with phones and so didn’t answer. She’s also quite often late. The workers at the nursery were apparently just about to ring the police when my mum finally showed up. She had to explain what her big brother had done. I was practically crying with laughter when I was told what happened. TL;DR: Convinced my young sister that “dead” meant “gone”, she scared some nursery workers with what they thought was a premonition of some kind.

Blaizeranger

14. The Easter Bunny Got A Deeply Unsettling New Entrance

“When my sister and I were kids, I told her the Easter Bunny came through the drain. I thought it was cute, and since Santa came through the chimney I couldn’t think of any other routes into the house. She cried for HOURS. Easter became the most miserable holiday for years until we grew up and she realized what an idiot I am.

VelvetTush

15. The Homework Excuse Fell Apart In The Dairy Aisle

“Not me but my my brother. When he was in 1st or 2nd grade he felt like not doing his homework for a solid week. When confronted by his teacher about this, he decided to tell her that we had a death in the family and lost an aunt. My mom is one of nine and I guess he figured the teacher wouldn’t ask too many questions. He was almost scotch free until he went grocery shopping with my mom the next week and ran into the teacher in dairy. My mom was very confused when the teacher was apologizing for her loss. Both heads turn to my little bro and he has to sit there and explain it to both of them. He got grounded and my mom and I still laugh about it.

EricSequeira

16. Changing A Few Details Online Accidentally Pointed To A Real Person

“When telling stories [online] I change up a few details. Like if I’m 18 I’ll say I’m 17 or 19, I’ll say I live in a town one town over, stuff like that. The point is, if someone gets [mad] at me (which happens pretty regularly) they won’t be able to doxx me. Well someone tried to doxx me anyway, and they somehow came to the conclusion that I was this kid a year below me in the same high school as I was at at the time. So I had to both try and convince the doxx guy that that wasn’t me, and I had to go to this kid and explain that I’d somehow accidentally stolen his identity and he should watch out for a crazy dude on the internet. I must have put enough doubt in the doxxer’s mind cause nothing really happened after that.

BlatantConservative

17. A Stolen School Story Led To A Lifetime Of Writing Their Own

“When I was a boy, I plagiarized an Encyclopedia Brown story for a creative writing project. My mom was so proud of me and was parroting “my” story to her friends for days. I’d never felt so guilty in my life. So ashamed. Even though I didn’t know what plagiarism was, I knew I had stolen those words, paraphrased them as my own. I vowed I would never do it again… and would write my own stories to overcome the theft. Twenty-five years later and I’ve written three novels and tons of short stories… as far as I know, none of them are cribbed. I wake up in cold sweats sometimes worried that something I’ve read has somehow permeated my subconsciousness and made it onto the page.

mokti

18. Pretending To Care About A Turtle Turned Into Something Much Bigger

“Fourteen years ago I was at a party of a friend of a friend and kinda lied to be super interested in a turtle or tortoise or whatever it was that he had in a terrarium. I just wanted to pretend to have a valid reason to be in this corner of the room in order to get a better view of a girl standing there who was apparently not wearing a bra. But she started to talk to me and it turned out she had just moved in next door and didn’t know anybody there. We are now married for almost 10 years and have a girl and a boy.

x4u

19. Their Toddler Took One Joke As Gospel

“I told my 3 year old son I was God just to be funny. No matter how many times I tell him I am not God, he still thinks I am to this day.

BasedRocker

20. An Interview Background Came With A Whole Invented Backstory

“I had a skype interview for my first job. I was in my roommates room in college because I shared a very small room with no desk. At one point in the interview, my future boss asked me if I was home, to which I answered: Yes. But then somehow he got confused and thought I was at my “home” home, not my college house, and I didn’t want to correct or explain it to him because the interview was going well. After that he noticed my roommate’s Mardi Gras street sign behind me and asked me a bunch of questions like, where I got it, how fun was it, etc. For example, I told him I got it near the main street, and he started describing the streets and the stores. I just said I don’t really remember. Since I was too awkward to properly explain everything to him, I just started saying yes to everything he asked. He ended believing I was some crazy party animal [partaking in illegal substances atop the backs of lovely individuals and having crazy “pillow fights” in the streets]. I did get the job and worked there for 1.5 years before changing jobs. He still does not know.

kingkongy

21. One Attempt To Fit In Created A Ballet Career That Never Happened

“In middle school I became good friends with the girl whose locker was next to mine. One day at lunch she casually mentioned that she did ballet for a while in elementary school. Stupid me wanting to fit in says “oh, me too! I did ballet.” Well somehow she interprets this to mean I’m some experienced prima ballerina and to this day I’m still keeping up the lie. Truth be told, I can’t dance at all.

Anonymous

22. Staying Loyal Over A Dropped Brownie Came At A Price

“Back in 3rd grade my friend dropped his brownie on the floor in the cafeteria because he said he didn’t want it. When the lunch aid came over she asked me who’s brownie it was and I said it was there when we got there because this was my best friend and I couldn’t snitch on him. Later that day I was called into the principles office and was questioned vigorously on this brownie like it was a big deal. I held my ground and denied everything but then for the rest of time I spent in elementary school I was never allowed any treats/snacks/drinks in any classroom throughout the school. Tough love if you ask me.

Dylancana

23. The Engineering Degree On Their Resume Was Doing A Lot Of Work

“I lied on my resume about an engineering degree. Been at the job for about 18 months. They taught me enough in training… been faking it ever since.

Anonymous

24. A Cover Story For Birthday Shopping Uncovered A Different Secret

“Told my GF at the time I was at a buddy’s hanging out. I was out shopping for her birthday. She called him to ask if I was there. I wasn’t. Caught her cheating that weekend. – I did catch her in the act with 2 guys (yes, at the same time). – We had only been going out about 9 months at the time. – I did keep the receipt and returned the gift and got a full refund. – After I caught her I went home, packed her stuff dropped it off, said goodbye to her parents and her dog. – Spitroast. – I did not barge in, I left immediately. – We were not living together, she lived at her parent’s house when I caught her. – Gift was a necklace that 19 year old me probably thought was top cheddar at the time. – Bro at the time didn’t think anything of it, more of a “nah haven’t seen him today”. – The only thing that bothers me from time to time is the dog. I don’t even think of have a picture of him!

CanadianPucker

25. An Invented Stranger-Danger Story Became A Much Bigger Deal

“Once when I was really young (maybe 6 or 7), my family was out for pizza and I told them when I was off alone that a man had asked me to come out to his van for candy. I have no idea why I did it, I’m sure I was just parroting something I heard in one of those Stranger Danger videos, but I threw it out there thinking people would be impressed I said no or something. Well all of a sudden there are police everywhere, the whole pizza place is basically evacuated, the police are grilling me about what he looked like and I’m making up a description on the spot (something like blonde hair, green plaid shirt, etc.). Well a few minutes later the police come out with a guy who looks *exactly* like the description I gave, and I quickly told them that it wasn’t him (thank god I didn’t ruin that poor man’s life). After all that, I thought it was done, but I got SO many cards, and balloons and toys from relatives, family friends, teachers, there was a write-up in the local newspaper, etc. It blew up into this HUGE deal. For a really long time I never told anyone, and for some reason a few years ago (in my late teens, early 20’s) I remembered this incident and felt super guilty about it, so I called my mom out of the blue to explain that I made it all up. I’ll still never forget her reaction: “Huh. That’s a weird thing to lie about.”

mrkushie

26. Their Excuse For Being Late Changed The Whole School

“My first year walking to school alone was the 7th grade and I was late a lot. It got to a point that the teacher told me I would have to do all the days chores (putting chairs down in the morning, wiping boards clean, cleaning after lunch, etc.), if I was late again. Well the next day I was running late as usual. Being a lazy sob, I knew I had to do something to get out of doing the daily chores. So when the teacher asked me why I was late, I thought back on the assembly we had a few weeks prior on school safety. So I told the teacher that a strange man pulled up to me when I was coming into school grounds and asked me to come with him to see some puppies. I honestly thought that would be a good enough excuse and it would be the end of it. F*****g, nope. School was suspended for the rest of the day, police were called, my parents were called in. And I was interviewed for the entire day. Had to describe the man, the car, everything. They ended up hiring a security officer for the grounds because of that incident and put in a few new cameras. We had monthly school assemblies because of it too. And it was all for nothing. Because less than a week later I was late again and had to do all the daily chores.

Yoinkie2013

27. A Second Grader Tried Out A New Name And An Entire Backstory

“In the second grade I told the substitute that my real name wasn’t Aicire. It was Sarah, and the family that was keeping me made me change my name. I missed being Sarah. Fast Forward a couple hours. CPS is at our house and my parents were LIVID.

Aicire

28. Pretending To Have Heard The Phone Call Put Them In An Unexpected Position

“I walked in on my friend finishing a conversation on her phone. She looked at me, petrified, and asked if I heard everything. I told her with a defeated face “yes”. She starts crying and leans on me, telling me she is so afraid and doesn’t know that to do. I did this initially as a joke, but obviously I’m in deep water now so I just tell her everything will be fine and to call me whenever she needed me. Turns out she got pregnant and asked me to go to an abortion clinic with her. Her boyfriend scrammed. We are best of friends now.

leftoverrice54

29. Agreeing To Cover For A Classmate Sent Them Straight To The Office

“Oh my god… this event just hit me like a sack of bricks. Gather around folks, it’s story time. So it was my senior year of high school, and I was in the forensic science class. We were getting closer to the midterms and one kid, his name was Nathan, was trying to steal a triple beam balance so he can measure his drugs. He was able to fit this f****r into his backpack. The end of class, the teacher notices there is one of these scales missing. In a classroom environment, these are okay to have. Apparently, outside of a classroom, they are considered drug paraphernalia. “I’m going to leave the room for two minutes. If it appears, then we will just call it a day and everyone can leave.” my teacher says. She leaves, and everyone turns to Nathan because it was obvious that he did it. Instead of putting it back to where it was supposed to be, he puts it under my chair. “Can you just say you found it here?” I agree. **Big mistake.** The teacher comes in and states that she doesn’t see it. The principal is with her too. “Where is it?” she asks. The entire room looks at me now. “I found it here, under my chair.” The teacher looks astonished, because for my metal head looks back in the day, I was a pretty well behaved kid. So I’m taken out to the hallway and the principal, before she even said a word I go “I didn’t do it. Nathan did.” I was quickly escorted to the principal’s office. *Now I am going to hold you here for a quick second. Because this detail is pretty important. I went camping several days before and got my arms stuck in a thorn bush, causing scrapes and small cuts all over my arm.* So I am sitting in the office waiting to be talked to, and that is when Nathan is also escorted in as well. Except he is taken right to the office and I am brought into another. There is the principal, and the school psych counselor. The principal asks if I had any issues at home, and the psych started to jump in. I sat there for several hours wondering what it was all about. That’s when they asked why I had a small package of safety razor blades in my locker. They were for tech class I was taking at the time, and the school thought I was cutting myself or something. This big whole thing happens, and the principal realizes that this was all just a huge mistake. There was nothing more or less to the situation. He ended up getting me lunch that day. It also turns out that Nathan got suspended for a week, and my entire class came down to the office and backed me up saying how it wasn’t my fault. It was a good time. Also, Nathan, it’s been 10 years. You don’t have to be weird when you see me.

StrikeAnywherePanda

30. A Missing School Project Turned Into A Medical Story They Had To Maintain

“I forgot to do my school project, freaked out at the last second, and told my teacher I have stomach cancer (WTH is wrong with me?) She told me not to worry about it, and that she’s gonna give me a couple extra days. Yay, sounds good! Except for she called my mom that night. Thank god my mom has an accent so I don’t think my teacher understood her too well, but my mom did tell her I have stomach issues and they don’t know what it is. My teacher decided to accompany me to my next two doctors appointment. It was so weird, I had to pretend I had a tummy ache in her class… All day long. 🙁

bdha17

31. One Denial Ended Their Mom’s Friendship

“When I was about 13, I called a little boy ugly. At the time, my mom’s best friend was driving me home from school. Of course she told my mother what I said, and my mom asked me to not say things like that. I told her I didn’t call anyone ugly. It was a little lie (at first I didn’t know what she was talking about), and it became this big whole ordeal about “my kid would never lie to me” and “why would I lie about this.” They were best friends and they no longer speak because of this. All three of us were dumb and immature.

bean220

32. A Made-Up Story About A Mean Classmate Brought Everyone To The Office

“I remember back in kindergarten, there was this girl in my class that really hated me and would just be overall mean. One day, I got fetched from school drenched in sweat and out of nowhere I told my mom *mean girl’s name* dropped water over my head. That led to me, my mom, her and her mom in the principal’s office with everyone mad at her whilst she cried. I think she apologized… But anyway, what with two angry moms and a principal I think I would too.

2d4b5l69

33. An Invented Culprit Turned Out To Match A Real Student

“My friends and I accidentally got a kid suspended. We finished the last class of our day before lunch on a Friday, and we were feeling pretty good, so we picked up a handful of rocks and tried to see who could throw them the furthest. Turns out one hit our teacher. She brought us into the office and made us tell the VP our story. Since she wasn’t in the room, we lied through our teeth and made up a description of a kid we’d never seen before. A week later, the guidance teacher approaches us and tells us she’s glad we didn’t take the blame for the kid who threw rocks because the principle found out who it was and he’s be getting a 3 day suspension from school.

Anonymous

34. A Misread Locker-Room Sign Became A Much More Serious Problem

“So when I was in college I played on one of the Universities athletic teams. Some background for those that haven’t been around college athletics: on away trips you are given a visiting team locker room to change and shower in after your practices and the game. Most of the time they try and put the visiting team some distance away from the opposing (home) team. It keeps the players from fraternizing or having pre or post-game conflicts or whatever else may arise I guess. Sometimes there aren’t any other locker rooms available though so you will occasionally see the opposition before you hit the field. As I was walking by the locker room I saw that one of the signs had the name of one of our players on it with “$10” written under her name. So of course when I came back to the locker room I had to share this gossip, I figured them having out a bounty on injuring one of our players would get us all fired up ya know. Well me and another player decided to do a second walk by of the other teams locker room to take another gander at the sign. When we walked by I realized that I had misread it, it didn’t say the girls name $10, it said “Girls name, has BO” and had a drawing of some testicles. “Has” was written really small so I hadn’t seen that part, and the BO was kind of sloppy so I guess I had misread it as $10. Well anyway me and my teammate decided to not tell the rest of the team that I had misread it, because we didn’t want to hurt the girls feelings (yes I know, I’m an idiot). Well turns out that the player the sign was about did end up getting somewhat seriously injured in the game. Her parents got a lawyer and wanted to sue even after I told everyone that the sign didn’t really have a bounty on her, just an insult. I felt terrible about it, and it [upset] my coaches, as well as my teammate off. I should have just ducking told the truth to begin with.

Chibler1964

35. They Let Their Grandpa Think He Was Talking To Someone Else

“My step grandpa would call after my grandma died once in a while “about his car” and then turn it into a chat. He always thought I was my brother over the phone and most of the time I corrected him. Ever since my grandma died, he literally started drinking himself to death. I saw him a few months after her death and he was REALLY skinny and barely still with it. I remember holding back tears as he tried to tell me a joke. This sad, incredibly weak old man who was a few weeks from dying was mustering all the strength he had to tell me a joke. It was actually pretty funny too. He was always kind of an a*****e, which for some reason made me so much more sad to see him like this. I sometimes wonder why that is. Fast forward a few weeks. He called our house to speak to my brother, who is a mechanic, to ask him a question, “about his car” I answered, and again, he thought I was my brother. I tried probably about 10 times to correct him but he kept talking without much of a chance for me to say, “let me go get my brother” Anyway, the “small lie” is that I had a 20 minute conversation with my step grandpa who thought I was my brother the whole time. He asked me a lot of personal questions and I did my best to answer them the way I thought my brother would. Idky, but for some reason when I remember this it makes me feel horrible. Also this was likely the last time he talked to anybody before he went to the hospital and died.

ioncehads*xinapool (username censored in source)

36. A Lie About A Bird’s Nest Still Weighs On Them Years Later

“When I was seven or eight my friend and I were playing underneath her deck. They had a rickety pool ladder that was meant to let you get into their above-ground pool. We were just chilling, playing with invisible dogs or some s**t, when we looked up and noticed some twigs sticking out from the rafters on the underside of the deck. The big red “animal” light started flashing in our heads, and she held the ladder still while I climbed up it. We found a robin’s nest with four eggs in it and I can still remember to this day what they looked like. I’ve always liked the color. Being little and stupid, we pulled the nest down and went to go show my mom. My mom opened the door, saw the nest, and immediately said, “where did you guys get this?” Being little and stupid, I immediately said, “we found it on the ground near the pool.” My mom was angry, but I didn’t understand why. She said something about the momma bird not wanting the eggs anymore and called my dad down. He looked annoyed, but took the nest from us and walked down the driveway, across the street, and stood under the deck asking us where we found it. Sticking to our story, we showed him the ground underneath the rafters. There. So he grabs the pool ladder and starts to climb up, and I don’t really remember this part at all. But what I do know is the ladder broke, he fell, and everything else that happened is just kind of gone from my head. What I do know is this: he absolutely shattered his ankle. He had to be out of work for a long time, had surgeries, and on top of it all, the accident forced him to leave the rescue squad he had been a part of since like, college. The rescue squad that is the only reason he ever met my mother. He says he left because of my little brother being a year or two before but I am like, 90% sure that was not it. Three of the eggs broke, and I can still see them shattered on the patio ground. Maybe it’s not a big deal to anyone else here, but I literally still feel guilty about it and it was close to two decades ago. I made my dad give up his literally life-saving past time, caused him recurring pain for the rest of his life, all because I couldn’t keep my hands off of a damn bird’s nest.

Alocasia_Fruit

37. Trying To Get A Better Phone Led To Lasting Guilt

“Told my parents I had lost my crappy phone on a bike ride (C.2010) when I had actually put it under my bed so I could get a new touchscreen phone over my crappy Alcatel phone. Mum went to phone shop and tripped on ledge outside shattered her left elbow narrowly missed out on having the joint replaced with surgery. To this day she can’t bend her left arm past 150 degrees and can’t kneel as tripping f****d her knees up big style and caused a hernia in her stomach that the NHS refuse to operate on unless it becomes life threatening. Crappiest son over here.

makinwar_uk

38. An Imaginary Club Had Very Real Consequences

“When I was little, maybe 6 or 7 years old, and I was playing with my cousin. He was/is my best friend, even if we have grown apart in the last few years. Anyway, I told him if he jumps out of the tree onto the trampoline, he can get into the club. He jumped and jarred his knee. He screamed blue murder. There was no club. There was no entry test. The injury plays up till this day. It affected him when he was playing gridiron (he had to give it up), it affected him when he joined the army and again when he become a cop. I’m worried one day he dies because of that knee and I’ll blame myself for it. [FYI:] Gridiron = American football. I’ll never make that mistake again. When I said I’m afraid he’ll die because of his knee, I meant in some kind of job related incident. I know where he works as a police officer there are a lot of violent bogans (the worst kind of bogan).

girraween

39. A Made-Up Friendship Breakup Left A Classmate In Tears

“When I was in the third grade, right after the recess bell rang, I told a random girl that her best friend did not want to be friends with her anymore. She stayed outside crying in the field and it wasn’t until 45min later that they found her. She didn’t come back to school until the next week.

Anonymous

40. A Lie About A Quarter Became Something They Couldn’t Stop Thinking About

“When I was younger at a birthday party, a girl asked me for a quarter to call home for her dad to come get her. I told her that I didn’t have one and she got a ride home from another parent. Later, I heard that when she got home, she found ambulances around her house because her father had died falling out of a tree doing yard work. I kept imagining that if I had given her the quarter, her dad would have come to get her instead of continuing yard work. If I had given her a quarter, maybe she would still have a father.

zero

The post 40 People Share The Small Lies They Told That Had Surprisingly Big Consequences appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Apparently, Airbnb agrees. The company announced new rules this week limiting checkout chores like stripping beds and washing dishes for reservations booked on or after November 20. A promising development for anyone who’s ever paid a cleaning fee and then been assigned homework.

That makes the tweet in today’s batch about being asked to bake bread for the next guest especially funny. If someone’s breakfast depends on my ability to bake bread, we’re all getting a bad review.

There’s plenty more in today’s funniest tweets, including other people doing their best to get through ordinary situations without being given additional responsibilities. I support them.

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The post 25 Funniest Tweets Of The Day, Because We Were Already On Our Phones Anyway appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I get excited when I find something on clearance. Finding it for zero dollars would become a story I tell too often. You’d barely get your coat off before I started explaining where I got the chair you’re sitting in.

That’s part of the appeal of these dumpster diving finds. Getting something useful is great. Getting it for free, saving it from the landfill, and having a mildly unbelievable story to go with it? I can see how that becomes a hobby.

1. Found A 150-Year-Old Book

2. Pulled Out Of Hoarder House Dumpster, The Cat Likes It

3. Guess Someone Decided They Wanted To Only Stream Movies From Here On Out. Hit The Motherload Of DVDs!

4. A Small Heart Shaped Display Table, Found Amidst Trash On The Side Of The Road

5. Wild Find Next To Dumpster

6. Dumpster God’s Want Me To Garden

7. A Facebook Random Sent Me Here,here’s My Lucky Dive

8. 50 State Quarter Book With Quarters Still Inside

9. My Wife Tried Her Hand At Reupholstering Some Dumpster Furniture. It Smelled And Had Tons Of Stains And Scratches, She Painted It And Used Old Curtains. I Think It Turned Out Pretty Cool!

10. Finally Got Something To Share! Trash Picked A Sewing Machine!

11. Found In The Trash

12. Rescued This Little Fella!

13. Found This Lamp During My Walk

14. At The Apartment Down The Street. Had To Carry It Home

15. Big Day For Senior Dog With Arthritis

16. Someone Tossed Two Quarter Operated Washing Machines. This Is Just From One

17. Today’s Finds

18. Found 234 Rolls Of Duct Tape

19. Did A Second Dumpster Dive Run… They Threw Out Even More Hotwheels And Toys. Major Difference In Amount This Time

20. I Am Stunned

21. Today’s Vacant Walk Yeilded Some Things

22. Got Lucky With This One

23. Found This Today 10 Karat Gold Got 300 Bucks For It

24. Lunchtime Dumpster Diving

25. Someone Threw Out A Whole Gaming PC

26. Found This Thing Just Tossed In A Dumpster! And It Works!

27. Folks Were Throwing This Away At Work, Now It’s Mine :p

28. I Should Just Quit Now. 16.9g Of 14k

29. Found A Never Used Wii Fit Plus Kit In A Dumpster. It Still Has Wrapping Paper From When It Was Given As A Present, And Batteries That “Expired” In 2014

30. Found On Side Of Road

31. It’s Crazy How Much This Local Store Always Throws Out

32. Found This In Dumpster

33. University Move Out

34. First Night Of College Diving

35. As I Found It Againt The Dumpster Wall

36. Found These In A Tote In A Dumpster. Worth Anything?

37. Crazy Huge Beauty Haul

38. My First Dive!

39. I Love Filling The Little Free Pantry

40. You Just Never Know

The post 40 Dumpster Diving Finds That Had No Business Being In The Trash appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Usually, the mystery stays in the box. These people actually went looking for answers, posting their strange finds online in r/WhatIsThisThing and hoping somebody would recognize them. And somebody usually did, sometimes with a level of detail that makes you wonder how many years they’d been waiting for this exact question.

These mystery objects include old tools, unusual household items, and discoveries that prompted a much more urgent response than “Oh, my grandma had one of those.”

See how many you can identify before reading the replies.

1. These fancy metal fixtures look ready to defend the doorway

“Often made of stone, they pushed cart wheels in if a carriage gets too close to the wall.”

— u/ScottinBurg

“There is a blog about Paris that describes those, called chasse-roues or bouteroue, and they were designed to keep wheels away from the door.”

— u/Chemical_Aardvark_46

2. These tiny metal tongs seem to be missing something

“It’s the handle to an old razor blade sharpener, missing the glass balls.”

— u/jackrats

3. Someone found this rusty contraption abandoned in the woods

“Looks to me like what could be left from a VERY old toaster.”

— u/hardboiledeggfarts

“A toaster such as this.”

— u/STAFF_of_Twocats

“Looks like a vintage toaster without the flaps. The type where you had to take out the bread and turn it over manually for the other side to be toasted. Something like this.”

— u/HamsterTowel

4. This shiny sphere arrived by parachute, which raises a few questions

“That is certainly a radar calibration sphere. Since it’s a sphere, it has the same radar cross section from every angle, pretty important for calibration. The parachute will be made from a non-conductive material, so it would have no radar cross section.”

— u/RadarLove82

“This is almost certainly a radar calibration sphere.”

— u/ex0e

“It’s just a hollow aluminium sphere, nothing dangerous about it. You can throw it out with other recyclable metals.”

— u/Pinky135

5. A landscaping project uncovered this underground surprise

“Utility guy here: That is the transformer providing electrical service to your house, and it is deadly; those hoses are high-voltage wires.

Don’t even mess around trying to reinstall the cover. Call the power company and tell them one of their transformer vaults is uncovered; they’ll send somebody out who can reinstall that grate safely. Until then, stay out of there.”

— u/JohnProof

6. This numbered brass cone looks like something you shouldn’t guess about

“WWI artillery shell bomb nose timer.”

— u/DC3TX

“Yep, that’s what it is. I can’t find the exact diagram, but it looks like it still has the detonator explosive intact, so I’d be careful with it, or better yet, get an expert opinion.”

— u/Main-Chard-2104

7. An unsettling metal discovery in the Swiss Alps

“You need to contact the local bomb squad/EOD [Explosive Ordnance Disposal] organization. It’s anti-tank ordnance. Similar-ish model linked here.”

— u/jackrats

“Former EOD tech here. If that is actually a M344, the fuze is NOT gone. The fuze is at the base, where the fins are mounted. The tip is just a piezoelectric impact element to generate an electric charge when it hits something. The cone on the front is a hollow shroud for aerodynamics. This means the UXO [unexploded ordnance] can still be sensitive to electric shocks (which is a real concern, a static spark can trigger it).

DO NOT ASSUME UXOs ARE SAFE TO HANDLE. DON’T TOUCH THEM, MOVE THEM, OR EVEN THINK ABOUT KEEPING A NEW SHELF ORNAMENT. (I wish the shelf ornament was a joke.)”

— u/Chaotic_Lemming

8. This pocket-sized metal tube comes apart in several ways

“It’s a dog whistle. I have almost the exact same one.”

— u/bushie5

9. Removing a concrete stoop revealed this rusty round object

“It’s a headlight.”

— u/Ok-Visual-8062

“I recognize it immediately as the metal reflector off an old parabolic aluminized reflector lamp. Often used for headlamps and aircraft landing lights. Take a look at the second image in this link. Older models used metal instead of reflective glass.”

— u/Roman2250

10. This little green piece clearly belongs to something

“That’s the treetop from a wooden train set.”

— u/nespron

11. A wedding gift that arrived with some explaining to do

“It’s a gong bell/wind chime. It might be this one.”

— u/cyclejones

12. A wooden thrift-store find with a very specific arrangement of holes

“It’s an aid to tying fishing flies. In a post from ‘Cover Fly Tying’ on Facebook on August 28, 2016, the text translates as: ‘Tyers’ Butler: The butler of the striker! The best way to keep your tying tools organized, within reach, and out of the way! No more wasted time looking for tools, gaining effectiveness when we do those 30 minutes to tie some flies!! Cover Fly Tying – Tying Tools and Materials. Inbox for inquiries!’”

— u/gefloible

“Yep, that’s a fly-tying tool holder. The magnet is for holding hooks. The larger hole is for a bobbin, and the two smaller holes are for scissors. You keep your best one for the thread and one for the materials. The small holes are for whip finishers, dubbing needles, hitch tools, and the like. It’s a useful thing; I’m forever losing my smaller tools.”

— u/RareBrit

13. A tiny metal feather turned up outside

“It’s a silver toothpick; it came from a set. They were tail feathers in a swan.”

— u/Andisaurus

14. This little wooden stand comes with its own cloth bag

“Costa Rican pour-over coffee rig.”

— u/Bytowneboy2

“This is 100% correct. I might add that these have clearly never been used and are on the small side, so probably picked up as gifts or something. My wife is Tica, and we use these all the time, but they are taller to accommodate a little pitcher/carafe type vessel.”

— u/Alchisme

15. This charity-shop donation looks like a very old ticket

“It’s a coupon for the welfare office. To find out how old this is, you could reach out to the municipality; maybe they have a municipal archivist who can help you. It’s probably from a time when 0.05 old French francs had a value to buy something, as its conversion comes to only €0.0076 or $0.009. I’m sure they’ll know Alfred Capitaine, as there is a road with that name in Walincourt, I would guess named after him.”

— u/InterviewGlum9263

16. Someone designed all these little grooves for a reason

“I believe it’s for making necklaces. The measured curves are for measuring the hemp/string, and the other indentations are for beads, etc.”

— u/eDreadz

“It’s a necklace template for beads. You put the beads or jewelry in the trays. The trenches help to keep the necklace together while working. My wife used to use one when making jewelry. Like this.”

— u/WCartistDad

17. This restaurant has a wall-mounted wheel full of information

“It’s a tide calculator.”

— u/lawnoptions

“For the sake of trivia night, these slide or wheel charts are called volvelles. There’s a small exhibit on them at The Computer Museum in Maryland.”

— u/TheKlaxon

18. An Airbnb supplied this wooden mystery with no instructions

“It’s a puzzle.”

— u/jackrats

19. This metal tag has a particularly concerning label

“It’s a tag that would have gone on a piece of equipment that contained radioactive material. As the model and serial number have never been etched on, it would appear to have never been used. Research Specialties Co. used to be in Berkeley and Richmond.”

— u/jackrats

20. This souvenir ruler has an unexpected opening

“Comb holder with ruler for measuring uniforms, hair length, etc.”

— u/[deleted]

“Here’s an auction for an RMS Queen Elizabeth one, with comb.”

— u/hyperdream

21. An antique-store tool kit for someone who knows what they’re doing

“I have this exact tool, a Blake coaxial indicator. It’s a quality product, very useful. Cheap clones killed the Blake company, and now you can only find the low-quality knock-offs.”

— u/bobeson

“A Blake tool. Great piece of kit to have.”

— u/COL_Anggus

22. Even with a banana for scale, this metal object needs explaining

“Looks like the latch for a rear-loading sanitation truck.”

— u/Ok_Ordinary6694

The original poster replied with a photo:

“It’s a perfect match.”

— u/ChrisWithWings

23. This adjustable contraption has a mirror and a tiny viewing hole

“It’s a camera lucida. Used for drawing images onto paper. It’s a pretty neat find.”

— u/sergemeister

“They’re like a heads-up display, or a red dot sight; they don’t project anything onto the paper, but when you look through them, you can see a partly transparent image of the subject superimposed onto your sketch. By looking through it while you draw, you can effectively trace the outlines of the thing you’re looking at. Kinda like this.”

— u/PregnantGoku1312

24. A miniature brass hammer with more parts than expected

“Mekuginuki. ‘A great little tool that helps remove mekugi pegs from your Japanese sword.’ Mekugi pegs are used to attach the bamboo handle to the blade.”

— u/jackrats

25. A pottery cup with four holes that seem pretty deliberate

“Looks like an herb stripper.”

— u/shockzone

“I just bought this exact one and it’s awesome! Find the appropriately-sized hole for the herb you’re stripping and pull through. Rosemary, basil, and mint all worked on the first or second attempt, which is way easier than doing it by hand.”

— u/thewolfman2010

26. A kitchen utensil that looks almost familiar

“Seems to be a cookie dough dropper, like this.”

— u/Helpful-Fruit-1404

“Here’s a video.”

— u/49orth

27. This little metal piece has a strap, a hook, and no obvious purpose

“This is what it’s from: a bar bell.”

— u/Brockise

28. There’s an unfamiliar piece of hardware hiding beneath this sink

“You must be in NYC. Standing waste valve. It’s the stopper for the tub. They often don’t work anymore.”

— u/jackrats

“I found a diagram on Google. It’s a giant lever to open and close the bathtub drain. I’ve never seen one of this style, but I’ve seen others where there’s a wheel covering the overflow port that connects down to the plughole and raises the plug to drain the tub. It’s a different mechanism, but it’s solving the same problem, letting you remove the plug from the bath without getting your arm wet.”

— u/Simon_Drake

29. Grandpa’s belongings included this spring-loaded mystery

“It is a tiny gun. It’s a Kaninchentöter, which means ‘rabbit killer.’ It’s a spring-loaded device used for killing or stunning rabbits, particularly in the context of farming.”

— u/b1-bi

30. This 1937 badge has a dial that still spins

“Little Orphan Annie Secret Society decoder badge.”

— u/nitro479

31. An old school bus seat came with this curious attachment

“It’s an ashtray, my child — a relic of better, freer days.”

— u/lvm__

32. A marble-handled object with a surprisingly curved underside

“It’s an ink blotter. Like these.”

— u/jackrats

“Here’s one in action, in case its purpose is not clear.”

— u/Herbie555

33. A carved wooden paddle with a hook hiding on the back

“This is a distaff, a tool used to hold wool while hand spinning yarns.”

— u/Leed-Vermaak

“100% this! I used to have one just like it. This video demonstrates it pretty well.”

— u/chicken-tendor

34. This wooden setup has handles and an intimidating collection of spikes

“Prosciutto holder.”

— u/SlippingAbout

35. This rusty disc has a very particular pattern

“Disc from a disc machine grain sorter.”

— u/jackrats

36. These stacked plastic shells were spotted behind a funeral home

“It’s a vault that goes around the casket to protect it from the dirt and water. They used to be concrete, but are now plastic.”

— u/GitEmSteveDave

“The vault is for the cemetery, not for the body. Protects the ground from being uneven and having sinkholes. Plus, in massive floods, the coffins can actually rise out of the ground without a vault.”

— u/Bertensgrad

37. This unusual glass piece looks like it broke away from something bigger

“This is a piece of a Murano chandelier or another type of Murano lighting. The metal part goes into a hole in the main body of the chandelier. It is very recognisable. Something like this.”

— u/roanmartigan

38. Someone left this mysterious metal object in a public restroom

“It appears to be a male chastity device. I hope you didn’t touch it. He’ll probably be back for it.”

— u/reijasunshine

39. These beach “noodles” probably aren’t going on anyone’s dinner plate

“Sea hare, a type of sea slug, lays their eggs in spaghetti-like strings.”

— u/jollysquirrel

40. A parking-lot find with two canisters and a connecting chain

“It’s a military-issue oil bottle for a Swedish Mauser rifle. One side would hold a solvent for cleaning the gun, the other oil for lubrication.”

— u/discardedlife1845

41. This tiny hexagon appeared on a kitchen counter without explanation

“It looks like a Mynthon Zip Mint. Although highly unlikely, as they are not sold directly in the US.”

— u/Yeonati

The original poster replied:

“Reddit, you’re the best. We definitely had some of these mints among a general stash of candy and other licorice things we brought home from a trip to Helsinki last year; all that stuff is long gone but it was on the counter at one point so I have to assume one of the mints fell out of the container and was just inside or stuck to something that was moved or cleaned today.

Thank you!! I would never have remembered these mints ever existed, let alone that we had some in the house at one point. This was gonna drive me nuts.”

— u/hardtosay42

42. A tiny metal trinket featuring a Pegasus and some mysterious numbers

“Reader’s Digest sweepstakes token. They liked giving trinkets in the envelopes for their sweepstakes to get you to open them. I think usually coin-shaped, but other shapes as well (apparently in the US, they had dollar bill shapes as well as coins). You could use them to scratch the sweepstakes ticket. All the examples I have seen have the same numbers on them, so I am not sure if there is any significance to them.

Apparently, they are collectible (under $10), but since this one is from the ’90s, I would assume it wouldn’t be worth anything due to the condition.”

— u/catapultmonkey

The post 42 People Asked “What Is This Thing?” And The Internet Had Surprisingly Specific Answers appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

There’s no question that not everyone is doing the same. Think of the scenarios people are going through the drive-thru for. At best, it’s to get their kids a Happy Meal and a toy or something. Everything else is a hasty decision to just get something quick, which means most people don’t have time to hide what’s in the back seat.

Drive-thru workers get a brief look inside hundreds of cars, which is probably more access to the general public than anyone needs. You’re handing someone their fries, you glance past their shoulder, and now you have a story you’ll be telling at every job you have after this one.

These workers took to Reddit to share the weirdest things they’ve seen customers pull up with. I’ll be thinking about them the next time I frantically clear old coffee cups off my seat before reaching for a new one.

1. “Oh Honey, Those Aren’t Eggs”

“I worked at a Tim Hortons and once saw an old lady with like 50 cartons of eggs in her car. I made a joke saying, ‘Looks like you could make your own breakfast,’ and she got real straight-faced and said, ‘Oh honey, those aren’t eggs.’ Still have zero clue what else you would store in egg cartons…”

— BoltzTV

2. Ordered No Ice, Then Added Some Car Ice

“I was working the drive-thru at Burger King in a snowstorm. The driver orders a Coke with no ice. When I hand them the Coke, they empty it a bit, break off a couple of icicles hanging from the car, put them in the Coke, and drive off without saying a word.”

— SanchezGeorge1

3. Starbucks Was Not Prepared For This Presentation

“At Starbucks, I had a woman order nothing, pull up to the window, pick up a stack of papers from her passenger seat, and in a pissed-off voice yell, ‘THESE ARE WHAT YOU CALL BILLS!’ She then drove away without saying another word…”

— B-ML-WDW

4. Six Kids Carried A Sofa Through The Drive-Thru

“Was working the drive-thru at Hardee’s as my first job. It’s about 10 p.m. on a Friday night and someone comes into the drive-thru. They order a strawberry malt. As part of my ‘scripting,’ I ask if they want to add two apple turnovers for $.99. They gleefully agree! Cool!

‘Your total is $3.14, pull to the next window.’

And they didn’t. They were laughing. And there was lots of noise. And the noise continued and there was more laughing.

Tentatively, I poked my head out of the window and saw six high school kids carrying a sofa. They hauled the sofa to the window and asked me to dump the milkshake all over the sofa. Whatever, they paid for it so I enjoyed it!

When I gave them the pies they proceeded to smash them and smear them all over the sofa. Then they carried it to the parking lot and loaded it onto a truck and drove away.”

— Plahblo

5. Her Business Took Off, And Apparently So Did All The Dogs

“This girl used to come through with like three dogs. I finally asked her, ‘Do you have to feed these beasts?’ And she explained that she just walks and grooms them.

Well, one day she came through the drive-through with like 15 dogs and she screams through the intercom, ‘MY BUSINESS FINALLY TOOK OFF,’ and got a bunch of chicken tacos for them.

Come to think of it… I think she may have been trying to flirt with me. Damn.”

— hondac55

6. Just A Quick Coffee Run With A Replica Bomb

“Not a worker but as a customer. One time I had to transport this huge replica military bomb last minute for a work thing and my car was full of decorations and sound equipment so I strapped it in the passenger seat.

The boss called and asked for coffee too so I stopped through a Starbucks forgetting I had this bomb in the front seat lol.”

— Unchainedmelodica

7. The Grandfather Clock Made This A Walk-Thru

“Had a customer come through with a giant grandfather clock in the back seat. The thing was so huge it was sticking out the side window, which just so happened to be on the left side of the car.

Which meant dude couldn’t get close enough to the window to reach his food and had to step out, cursing the whole time.”

— Reddit user

8. No Order, Just A Drive-By Fish Attack

“Someone threw a fish at me once. Didn’t order anything, just a drive-by fish attack.”

— PsyPup

“What sort of fish? Like a rancid sardine, or a full salmon that went straight to the BBQ?”

— BrightFadedDog

“Just a little tiny bait fish. I think they’d been fishing and wanted to show off the biggest fish they’d ever seen.”

— PsyPup

9. The Alpaca Would Like Some Apple Slices

“Only worked drive-through for a year but the weirdest thing I saw was an alpaca in a minivan. They asked at the window if they could order some apple slices for the alpaca. I just gave them two packs on the house.”

— MomoPeachBear

10. A Goat. In A Sweater. No Further Questions.

“A goat. In a sweater.”

— skinvalker

11. The Pony Was Just Along For The Ride

“One lady came through the McDonald’s drive-thru and instead of a golden retriever or Lab poking its head up from the back seat of the minivan, there was a pony just chilling, munching on carrots or something. It was a bright spot in my day.”

— ShimmeringIce

12. A Dog, A Coyote, And A Deer Walk Into A Car

“Either the guy sitting with a dog in his passenger seat and a coyote and a deer chilling in the back, or the woman wearing just a bra, but that one is more traumatizing.”

— L_Rayquaza

“Were the coyote and deer alive?”

— throwaway61369

“Yeah, from what he said he raised them from when they were young together.”

— L_Rayquaza

13. An Entire Flock, Apparently

“No joke, like 400 birds. Not in cages, but just sitting around. They were all flying around and st and he had this plastic thing that kept them inside. S**t was bonkers.”

— QBertZipFile

14. Ten Dogs, One Tiny Car

“Someone in a tiny car had three Great Danes and about seven Chihuahuas with them.”

— spiryn

15. The Monkey Also Expected A Toy

“These people came through and asked for a separate toy for their monkey. And sure enough, a monkey hopped up on the driver’s shoulder.”

— FishTanksAreCatTVs

16. The Duck Had Already Called Dibs On The Fries

“A guy drove through with a live duck riding with him. The duck immediately went for the bag of fries!”

— union_mechanic

17. A Raw Chicken Riding Without A Seat Belt

“A raw chicken in the passenger seat. No tray or anything wrapping it. Just a baked chicken ready to be cooked.”

— Puzzleheaded-Ad-6531

18. The Pizza Had Its Own Blanket

“I worked at Domino’s and one lady used a hand-crocheted blanket to keep her pizzas warm. Kept the blanket in the front seat and draped it over the boxes. I crochet, so I know how much work went into that blanket…”

— intothepizzaverse

19. His Passenger Had Been Waiting A While

“As a driver, I like to keep a skeleton in my car, buckled up. I like getting the employees to laugh since I can’t really decorate the outside of my home.”

— NetBelleAnie

“I have a skeleton that has been my passenger for a couple of years. Most of the jokes are about forgetting to feed him…”

— charlie_ritchie

20. The Mannequin Was There To Beat Traffic

“I used to see someone come through with a lifelike mannequin in their passenger seat. I asked about it and turns out they did it to use the commuter lanes on the highway. You must have more than one person in the car or cop a fine.”

— Junkstapose

21. A Wolf Was One Of The Regulars

“I had a regular who would come through and he had a full wolf in the back of his truck. Not like a dog that was wolf-like, but a full-blown fresh-out-of-the-wild wolf. She was really sweet though.

She apparently had a brain condition where she didn’t really know she was a wolf that had to be aggressive to survive, so he found her and took care of her.

I think about her regularly. We would feed her plain Timbits. The best part of working at Tim Hortons in high school.”

— Skippy7890

22. Fourth Of July Came Early That Year

“I worked at a Taco Bell back in high school and this obviously very rich guy came by weekly in his convertible, Hawaiian shirt, and a blow-up doll in the passenger seat.

One time he had the usual passenger seat one and two in the back, and I asked him what the occasion was.

He said, ‘Fourth of July, duh!’

It was May??”

— savannah0719

23. That Was An Awkward Next Day At School

“My gym teacher, he was drunk. He started eating the tacos at the drive-through window. He was there for over five minutes, just eating. I saw him the next day in school, and we both acted as if nothing happened.”

— penndawg84

24. The Agent Had An Imaginary Passenger

“I worked a drive-through at Arby’s and a DEA agent came through in his squad car. When he pulled up to the window and I handed him his food and he thanked me, he turned around into the criminal holding area and screamed, ‘SHUT UP BEFORE I BREAK YOUR NOSE!’

I was clearly mortified.

Then he turned back to me and said, ‘Just kidding, there’s nobody back there,’ laughed, and drove off.”

— FingyDingus

25. A Prison Van Full Of People Committed To The Bit

“Many years ago, as a 16-year-old girl, I worked the drive-thru at McDonald’s. A white van with black curtains on the windows pulls up and two men in uniform pay for their order. I see that it’s marked as a prison van from our local penitentiary.

The line is stalled up ahead and not moving. During the wait, I am casually peeking behind the driver to see who or what may be onboard.

Suddenly, a prisoner in the back moves the black curtain aside and proceeds to shake his head from side to side, screaming and wagging his tongue and just genuinely acting crazy, all while in cuffs.

I about jumped out of my skin, scared the c**p out of me! The guard who was driving could not stop laughing. I could hear the roaring laughter of the whole van.

They pulled forward and got their fries, and I tried to never be so nosy again!”

— Desertbloomaz

26. The Parrot Did Not Approve Of The Transaction

“Guy had his parrot on his shoulder. It tried to bite me when I handed him his change.”

— Reddit user

“If the bird’s name was Jaques and had laser eyes, I know the guy.”

— Leash_Me_Blue

27. The Bearded Dragons Were Also Getting In-N-Out

“The couple pulled up to the In-N-Out window and the only thing in the car aside from them were five or six bearded dragons ranging in size from fully grown to maybe three inches long.”

— MasterFan40

28. The Snake Was Apparently None Of Their Business

“A snake. Just chilling with the passenger. Nice little ball python.

They got their food and I wasn’t the person at the window but no one mentioned the snake and they just drove off.

We all laughed about it after they left though.”

— Casiorollo

29. Sometimes You Have To Take The Sheep With You

“I admit I have gone through the drive-thru with sheep in my backseat.”

— Mag_the_Magnificent

30. The Card Got A Bleach Bath After Every Purchase

“A lady, who was a daily regular at a drive-thru Starbucks, kept a one-gallon bottle of bleach in the car.

Every time after handing back her card she would hold it outside her car window and dump bleach all over it before putting it back in her wallet.

She also always wore a face mask and disposable gloves. This was in like 2004 too, making her completely stand out.”

— Frhetorick

31. A Glass Eye Keeping Watch On The Dashboard

“A glass eye on the dashboard. Sixteen-year-old me nearly fainted.”

— Reddit user

32. His Passenger Had A Fedora And A Backstory

“I have a monkey lizard from Star Wars, wearing a fedora and tinted glasses, sitting on top of my passenger seat. Definitely got a lot of funny looks at the drive-through.”

— CaptainCipher

33. Exact Change, Handled With His Toes

“NGL the damnedest thing I ever did see working Taco Bell drive-through was a dude with no arms, who gave me exact change with his toes, took his bag between them, and drove away with his feet. Northern WV.”

— cowman3456

34. A Christmas Eve Conversation That Took A Turn

“On Christmas Eve this guy comes through and I’m taking his money when he asks if I want to see his stump. I wasn’t really thinking and said sure.

The guy opens his car door and reveals that his left leg was amputated from the knee down. Again, without thinking I asked him if he was alright.

He said he was, and while closing his door he mentioned that he needed to be careful when getting out because he has fallen on his face before.”

— youwillruinyou

35. Every Seat Was Taken By A Plushie

“Just today I saw a man with easily 60 plushies in his back and front seat. He was very sweet, very obviously had some mental disability, but was an absolute pleasure to help.”

— bigballsblues

36. The Passenger Was Buckled In And Ready To Go

“I worked at Taco Bell a while back, and the most memorable/strangest thing I saw come through the drive-through was an elderly man, probably late 50s or early 60s.

He had a large, loaded glass bong buckled in the passenger seat. Told him it smelled good in there and he responded, ‘It always smells good where I am.’

What a badass, I’ll never forget that.”

— PCT49

37. They Offered More Than Exact Change

“Two guys were hotboxing and decided to come to the drive-thru. They did not stop smoking even when they pulled up to the window.

I swear a cloud of smoke rolled out the window when they lowered it to pay. They offered me a hit and I politely declined.”

— partofbreakfast

38. A Four-Foot Hookah Was Ready For The Road

“Four-foot hookah prepped and ready to go.”

— 187-MDK

39. A Full Car And Absolutely No Dress Code

“A car pulls up, and all four people are just completely naked, just casually chilling.”

— balancedroses

40. Apparently This Was A Multi-Restaurant Trip

“Does a naked man with bags from Burger King and Taco Bell already count as a ‘thing’?”

— thekoonbear

“That is the most thing thing to ever be considered a thing.”

— TVStatic417

41. There Was Barely Room For The Next Food Bag

“The entire car was filled with trash. Like legitimately up to the ceiling in the back seat and up to shoulder height in the passenger seat. I was so stunned I nearly forgot to give them their food.”

— Voiceisaweapon

42. The Wrong-Side Window Was Somehow The Employee’s Fault

“It was either the 12-year-old driving or the lady in a right-hand drive car. The fact she had the audacity to get mad at me because I couldn’t reach her money…”

— 2007_RX-8

43. The Minivan Had An Unfortunate Custom Paint Job

“A woman came through with ‘B***H’ carved into the side of her minivan. My coworker asked her about it and the lady said her teenage son did it.”

— poophead112

44. That Explanation Raised Several More Questions

“I saw a drunk person ordering, and he asked for two large fries, a chicken sandwich, four large salads, and two small lemonades. I asked why he needed that much food, and he said it was for the kids in his basement.”

— alreadytakensike

45. One Memorable Shift, Two Very Different Customers

“I worked at McDonald’s and saw some pretty odd stuff to be fair.

One dude had dyed his mohawk blue, had a parrot, and ordered like it was nothing.

Had some other woman just sat there drinking a bottle of vodka at the wheel, at like 11 p.m. I couldn’t do anything about it so I just sent her down to the next window.”

— MontgomeryWeiner

46. Making Room In The Cup Holder The Worst Possible Way

“Had a guy come through Tim Hortons in the morning. Go to give him his coffee and he asks me to wait a second.

Grabs the beer from his cup holder and chugs the rest of it. Throws it out the open passenger window, takes coffee from my hand, says thank you, and drives away.”

— JabTomcat

47. That Is One Way To Make Sure The Order Gets Checked

“When I was working at DQ in high school I remember a woman coming through the drive-thru with a shotgun sitting in the passenger seat, riding shotgun if you will.

She had three teardrop tattoos. Naturally, we made sure her order was correct.”

— Minty_beard

48. The Salsa Was Already Free

“Someone pulled a gun on my brother because the salsa containers weren’t completely full. You can get as many as you want for no extra charge.”

— NetDork

49. Nobody Wanted To Get This Order Wrong

“Saw a car riddled with bullet holes. The occupants were actively messing with handguns as they came through. We did not mess up their order.”

— itsJussaMe

50. The Cash Came With Some Unwanted Moisture

“Not a thing, but I worked a Pizza Hut drive-thru and saw a lady pick her kid’s nose before reaching into her bra to extract some crumpled, moist money for her food. I hated that job.”

— OtterLiberationFront

51. A First Shift That Was A Lot To Take In

“Used to work at McDonald’s back in the day. I was training a new girl and told her to hand the man at the window his drink.

The window opens, and I notice the adult man driving is wearing a bib… Weird, but to each their own.

As the new girl reaches out her hand to pass the man his drink, he just starts vomiting on himself, violently so… There was splatter.

The new girl stood there in shock, so I grabbed her and pulled her back. The window automatically closed and the man eventually drove away.”

— rah-kooc

The post 51 Drive-Thru Workers Share The Weirdest Things They’ve Seen In Customers’ Cars appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

There’s something almost comforting about it. Somewhere in the world right now, someone is making a mistake far more permanent than a typo in your emails.

These funny design fails are a nice reminder that finishing a project and thinking it through are two separate accomplishments.

1. ” Cannot See Anything Other Than ‘Pumpkon'”

2. “Toyota Proace Does Not Have Its Drivers Seat Centered To The Steering Wheel And Dashboard”

3. “I Love My Local Pizza Place But Dang If This Don’t Look Like Vomit”

4. “How On Earth Am I Supposed To Read The Label On This Bottle. (Yes! There Is Actually A Label In The Picture!)”

5. “Uneven Surface, Bad Slope And Locked Down Wheelchair Access”

6. “A Locking Drawer That Can Be Bypassed By Removing The Upper Drawers”

7. “I’m Not Sure How To Hold This Coffee Mug”

8. “A Token Of Appreciation From My Boss. Only Points Down When Read Correctly”

9. “The Headwacker 3000 At The Hotel I’m Staying”

10. “These Signs Are Giving Me Confusion”

11. “Perforation Fail! Never Seen One Of These That Actually Works”

12. “These New Peugeots Are Great, They Blind You With Glare On The Metallic Finish”

13. “Highly Accessible Sink I Found In A Japanese Restroom”

14. “… Toilet Paper?”

15. “The Tiles At The Hotel I’m Staying At. The Only Way I Know It’s Not Mold Is Because The Pattern Repeats In Other Parts Of The Bathroom”

16. “This Bath Foam Packaging Looks So Much Like Food That They Had To Put Up A Warning Sign Behind It”

17. “Poison Coffee (It’s Supposed To Read As ‘Up Tension’)”

18. “Only Other Bathroom Aside From Primary Suite In Home W/ 2 Adults, 2 Young Kids. Where To Put Toothbrush, Hair (& Makeup) Stuff, Handsoap?! Terrible Children’s Bathroom Reno By Kim Wolfe On Hbo / Hgtv”

19. “Oh, Sorry, Did You Want To Watch The Tennis Match?”

20. “Stairs At My Psychologist, I Tripped And Almost Fell Face First When I Opened The Door The First Time”

21. “There’s A Special Place In Hell For Whoever Designed This Tape Measure With A Rounded Bottom So It Falls Over When You Put It Down To Mark Something”

22. “Good Luck Blind People!”

23. “This Pretty Much Unusable Chessboard Setup The City Built On My Street”

24. “Parking Bays, Nightmare To See As A Colorblind Person And Near Impossible To Park Within The Lines At Night. Should Have Been Solid White Lines”

25. “Magnet Can’t Lay Flat Bc Of The Curve”

26. “Hospital Bathroom Light Switch That Looks Just Like The Emergency Buzzer”

27. “Found The Carpeted Sauna Again”

28. “Reflective Tile In My Office Bathroom”

29. “Every Lamp On The Street Is Like This. It’s Hasn’t Rained In A Week”

30. “Couldn’t Find My Hotel Light Switch”

31. “This Panda Plushie With, Apparently, Two Faces, I Found At A Claw Machine I Took My Baby Cousin To See In An Ice Cream Shop”

32. “Accessibility Is Key.. So Let’s Block It”

33. “These Stickers On The Escalator That Appear To Be Encouraging Children To Slide Down Outside The Railing”

34. “This Chicken Tender At KFC Looks Like A Rat At First Glance”

35. “24/7 Help Line. But No Number Anywhere To Be Found”

The post 35 Funny Design Fails That Really Could’ve Used A Second Opinion appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I’m generally in favor of keeping the peace at family gatherings, but after reading these mother-in-law stories, I’d have a hard time sitting quietly at the dinner table as if nothing happened.

These women over on Reddit shared the petty comments, outrageous behavior, and crossed boundaries they’ve dealt with from their mothers-in-law. Some are almost impressively passive-aggressive. Others make skipping the next family gathering seem like a pretty reasonable decision.

1. She Rewrapped Her Son’s Gift To His Girlfriend And Opened It Herself

She took the clothes my husband (my boyfriend at the time, who was living with her) had bought me for Christmas, wrapped them up and put them under the Christmas tree with “From: [my husband]” and “To: Mom” on the gift tag. Then she proceeded to open the gift on Christmas Day as if he’d bought it for her.

— Equivalent-Might-439

2. Apparently, The Baby’s Name Was Just A Suggestion

My MIL is condescending. For several months, she called my daughter by the name SHE wanted us to give her granddaughter until I finally snapped at my husband and told him to tell her to knock it the f*** off.

— LowkeyPony

3. She Tried To Borrow Grandma’s Wheelchair For Her Wedding Performance

My mother-in-law tried to ruin our wedding by faking an ankle injury and attempting to steal my 80-year-old grandmother’s wheelchair just so she could show the guests how “hurt” she was.

I have several mental health issues and had to stop taking my regular medication to get pregnant. My husband emailed his parents about my illnesses and my psychiatrist’s recommendations to explain what was going on and keep them in the loop. They printed out that private email and started showing it to all their friends in an attempt to make me look crazy and portray me as a s***ty person for being mentally ill.

— vettech87

4. Nothing Says “Welcome To The Family” Like “Go Away” Socks

Gave me socks that said “Go Away” for Christmas, two months after we got engaged. Put glitter in my gift bag at my bridal shower so that it went everywhere when I opened the gift. Also, went to dinner and a concert with my husband’s ex-girlfriend the night before our wedding instead of helping set up the venue.

— Some-Rub7952

5. She Sent An Invoice For A Vacation That Never Happened

She sent me a bill for plane tickets for herself and her granddaughter (my ex-sister-in-law’s child) to come visit me in Hawaii. No plane tickets had ever been purchased, and they never came to visit me.

My personal favorite, though, was when she went into detail about which sexual positions her son and I needed to use to ensure she would get a granddaughter.

— Restless_Dragon

6. The Wedding Gift Apparently Came With A Return Policy

The pettiest thing she’s done? Stolen the wedding gift she gave us. It was a glass sculpture. We have a house full of kids, dogs, and a cat, so I kept it in its box in the guest room for safekeeping until our master bedroom renovation was finished.

She stayed in our guest room for a little while, and I noticed the sculpture was gone the night she was leaving our house. She said she hadn’t seen it. Weeks later, I brought it up again, and she tried to gaslight us by claiming she’d told my husband it was at her house and that he’d never come to get it back.

— Itshouldbeeasier9585

7. She Found A Loophole In The “No Hospital Visitors” Rule

We told my in-laws that we didn’t want anyone coming to see our firstborn in the hospital because I had a pretty traumatic birth. So, my MIL faked a UTI, said she was in the emergency room, and asked to be allowed up to our room after she was discharged. My husband caved because she guilt-tripped him.

Before we had our child, she would leave self-help books on his business doorstep after hours. These were books about divorce. Inside the books, she would write cryptic messages claiming they were from a local therapist who knew about me, saying I was a dangerous person and that my child should be taken away from me. It was literally her handwriting. She completely denied it later.

— GreenTop885

8. Two Years Of Silence Because The Welcome Wasn’t Enthusiastic Enough

She hasn’t spoken to me in over two years because she didn’t think I acted excited enough when she came to visit us. She did me a favor, really.

— canadiancitizeninfo

9. She Counted The Thanksgiving Silverware Before Anyone Could Leave

Mine’s a peach. First, she counted all the silverware after Thanksgiving to make sure I hadn’t stolen any.

Second, she tried to get my husband (then boyfriend)’s grandmother, who had dementia, to belittle me for where I worked. I was working at a nonprofit hospital at the time, and Grandma was a major donor at a different hospital in the city. So MIL tried to bait Grandma into embarrassing me, but her dementia must have been worse than MIL had hoped because Grams just kept eating her Easter brunch and didn’t give two s***s, lol.

She told hubs (then boyfriend) that he shouldn’t move in with me just because I was poor and needed a roommate. (I wasn’t poor, didn’t NEED a roommate, and we’d been together for a year at that point. We WANTED to live together.)

She threw a fit when we got engaged and had FIL call to ask us not to have an engagement party because it would “steal the spotlight” from SIL graduating from college for the second time. She wanted the family to prioritize SIL’s graduation party and felt they’d be less likely to attend if they came to our engagement party a month earlier.

— StrengthPositive513

10. Every Visit Comes With Another Very Convenient “Accident”

She purposely ruins things in our house when she comes to visit, but it’s always an “accident.” Here are just a few of the many “accidents”:

Accidentally scratched our glass stovetop. Accidentally spilled red wine on one of my favorite quilts. Accidentally put one of my cashmere sweaters in the dryer. Accidentally dropped the Diet Coke I’d been looking forward to from the drive-through, which she’d insisted on bringing in to help me.

She wanted to make her own coffee using our espresso machine but then “forgot” how to use it and broke it (by accident, of course). She never apologizes for these “accidents” but just laughs sheepishly when they happen. Who knew someone could be so clumsy and dim-witted?!

— Anonymous

11. She Invented A Feud With A Three-Year-Old

My MIL was out to dinner with my husband and told him a made-up story about our daughter, claiming that our daughter had said she hated her the previous day when the three of us were together, and my husband was at work.

It never happened. Our daughter was three years old and had never used that word, plus I was there the entire time. When my husband questioned her about it, she threw $200 on the table and stormed out of the restaurant.

— miicchheelleee

12. She Took Credit For A Party She Brought Soda To

I threw a surprise birthday party for my husband. My MIL barely made the guest list. She didn’t help with the party in any way other than bringing over a couple of cases of soda.

I had the schedule meticulously planned to make sure it would be a surprise. On the day of the party, my MIL tried to show up early, while my husband was still home, which would have ruined the surprise. When I didn’t give her permission to show up early, she had a huge attitude when she finally arrived.

Anyway, the next day, she posted on Facebook thanking people for coming and thanking my husband’s friend, who had helped me with the party, for helping and cooking. She didn’t mention me at all. I planned, organized, and paid for the party! She made it look like she’d thrown the party and was thanking everyone for attending. It was crazy.

— blankblankblankety

13. She Ordered A DNA Test After Her Son Was The One Who Cheated

Mine DNA-tested our daughter while we were separated because of HIS cheating. She said, in front of my 9-year-old, “You’re giving that selfish b**** too much money for a kid who isn’t even yours!” Surprise, she is. I was livid when I found out.

— Loftyjojo

14. She Was Already Recruiting A Replacement Girlfriend

So many things, but aside from what I’ve forgotten (or rather, repressed), I’ll NEVER forget when she sent him an email with a link to the Facebook profile of a random woman around our age whom she’d met while hiking or climbing.

Her message was something along the lines of, “She speaks five languages and loves [all the outdoor activities MILFH likes to do],” with the implication that she was single, and he should meet her. We’d been together for well over a year at that point!

— skihare

15. Mother’s Day Lunch Came With An Insult Nobody Ordered

On Mother’s Day this year, my SIL and I grabbed lunch at the café my MIL manages. She came up to me while I was holding my niece and said, “Don’t you feel worthless today?” because we don’t have kids.

She also refuses to eat anything I make because she wants to believe she’s a better cook and baker.

— Daniela0312

16. She Hired A Private Investigator To Look Into Her Daughter-In-Law

My mother-in-law hired a PI and stalked me to the point that I left my home state and my husband.

They put together a binder full of false information from those “people finder” sites because they never asked me for any information themselves. They just went digging in s*** or asked their son, who, at the time, wasn’t listening to me.

They literally have no idea that I’d already been preyed on, yet they still feel entitled to information about me that I’ve deliberately kept private.

— GlowingPlasties

17. She Wanted To Speak To The Manager Of The Maternity Ward

We couldn’t have visitors at the hospital because of COVID, and my mother-in-law accused us of lying. They even called the maternity ward to confirm it.

— naturenerd09

18. The Brisket Apparently Needed A New Supervisor

I had made my first brisket, and when I started cutting it, she pushed me out of the way and took over because she didn’t like the way I was cutting it.

— MikeA1185

19. She Was Upset Her Son Took His Girlfriend On Vacation

My husband goes out of state every year for a work conference, so we treat it as part of our vacation, and the kids and I go with him.

The year we started dating, she kept saying, “Well, I KNEW that was gonna happen… You were gonna go off and get a girlfriend, and I wasn’t going to get to go!” She sounded like a child.

She said it so often that I finally told him to just take his mother and I would stay behind. He said, “But I don’t want to take my mother.” He must have reamed her out because she stopped bringing it up. We had the best time… without her.

— Jennabear82

20. She Forgot A Birthday, Then Somehow Made It Worse

Last year, my MIL planned a birthday celebration for my FIL, SIL, and BIL and said it made sense to celebrate all three together because their birthdays are all in September. My birthday is also in September, and I was upset that I’d been excluded.

My MIL said she’d forgotten that my birthday was in September, too. My husband and I had been together for 14 years and married for 8½ years at that point.

As we were discussing everyone’s birthdays, she proceeded to tell us that she found it kind of funny that my daughter’s birthday and mine were both on the 20th, so she should have remembered. (Mine is in September, and my daughter’s is in November.)

My jaw dropped, and my husband asked his mother if she was serious. Our daughter’s birthday is November 7, and she was six at the time.

— Haysmom117

21. She Started Showing Up At Classes And Dating The Boss

She followed me EVERYWHERE. She showed up at my classes and started dating my boss. I think she was looking for any ammunition she could use against me with my husband.

She tried to take over parenting, but only when it came to my daughter. A real nutbag. We’ve been together for 22 years, and she knows I’m here to stay. Now she whines to my husband that I hate her.

— Comfortable_Ask7752

22. She Helped Herself To The Camera And The Facebook Uploads

We were staying at my mother-in-law’s house years ago, and while we were out, she went into our room, took the camera off the table, downloaded all the photos onto her computer and then posted them on Facebook.

— GlitteringHouse8983

23. Grandma Kept Referring To Herself As “Mama”

My MIL sneakily came up with an excuse to lift my shirt and sneak a peek at my tummy to check whether I had stretch marks because I’d mentioned that I didn’t think creams worked.

My MIL regularly calls herself “Mama” in front of my kid and once told him quietly (thinking I wasn’t listening), “I’m going to buy a car seat for my car, and you and I can go on looong drives all alone, with no one else.”

She also gets upset when she says she’s taking him for a walk and I say, “I’ll join you.”

— Proud_House4494

24. Meeting The Baby Apparently Required Bringing Weight-Loss Tea

My MIL brought me weight-loss tea and workout gear when she came to visit her granddaughter. I’m only 3 kg heavier than I was before pregnancy…

— Manulipator

25. She Spent $2,000 On Baby Gifts And Expected Wardrobe Approval

My mother-in-law bought over $2,000 worth of stuff for my baby before he was even born. Most of it I can’t even use (wrong size for the season, unsafe, etc.). She gets mad every time she sees him wearing something she didn’t buy. (Um, I have parents and grandparents who also like to buy him outfits?) Not to mention, none of the things she bought are cute.

My husband tried to kindly tell her that we didn’t need any more “stuff.” My MIL doesn’t work, and my FIL is older and probably should retire, but they have no savings because of her ridiculous spending.

She got mad and made up all kinds of lies about me to the rest of the family. She has told anyone who will listen (my sister-in-law called me to confirm this) that I’m the world’s worst daughter-in-law, that I refused to let her come over, and that I’m trying to keep her from seeing her grandson. Somebody make it make sense because I can’t.

— hbkw

26. The Baby’s Name Was Fine Until She Learned Where It Came From

My husband and I have different last names. When we decided to share our little one’s first name with everyone, MIL was over the moon until she asked where the name came from and learned that it was from my side of the family. She had a very obvious negative reaction.

From that point on, every item she sent for LO was addressed to “Baby [insert their last name],” despite knowing that my husband and I have different last names and that we’d already chosen a name for the little one.

— LabFar6076

27. She Had A Very Dramatic Way Of “Letting Him Go”

On our wedding day, she told me she was so sad that she finally had to “let him go,” then kissed him.

— Mundane-Wall7220

28. Leaving The Church Turned Into A Marriage Discussion

One year into our marriage, my husband and I left the church we’d both grown up in. We’re now both agnostic/atheist. When my in-laws found out, they flipped their s***.

My MIL told me I should divorce my husband (her son). She also told my husband that she hoped we’d never have kids because she couldn’t bear to see her grandchildren without the “light of Christ in their eyes.”

— ginger_wife

29. Her Idea Of A Thoughtful Gift Needed Some Serious Work

She gave me a book about perimenopause that she got from a woman she worked with who was “just about [my] age, around 45.” I was THIRTY.

She also mailed me a heavily used children’s book featuring a nursery rhyme that had briefly come up in conversation over lunch… two weeks after we had to terminate my first pregnancy at 20 weeks for medical reasons.

She practically overnighted it to me because it was apparently that important for her to send. She had no clue why this would upset me. Her “apology” after my husband chewed her out was also insanely cruel.

— NailingIt

30. She Made An Already Painful Loss Even Harder

When she found out my dad was terminally ill, she called me oversensitive because her mom had died, too, and “everyone dies.”

The situations were completely different. Her mom was well into her 80s, and MIL had no relationship with her own mother. I was incredibly close to my dad, and he was only 58 when he died.

She also convinced her father that I was abusive and made him write a letter to my partner telling him he needed to kick me out, just five days after my dad’s funeral.

— sad-and-unsure

31. A Visit To Celebrate Their Progress Went In The Opposite Direction

When my husband and I started our venture into real estate investing, we wanted to share the results of our hard work with my in-laws.

We paid for them to come out and see what we’d accomplished, but my mother-in-law spent the entire visit trying to get my husband back on drugs, just as he’d been his whole life with her. Heaven forbid her son become a better person with a better woman by his side.

— kiddo2dwg

32. She Dismissed A High-Risk Pregnancy She Wasn’t Qualified To Assess

My MIL said she’d talked to her doctors about my pregnancy and that I wasn’t really high-risk. I should just suck it up and carry on as usual. I was just making a big deal out of it.

My baby was born 18 weeks too early…

— ParentTales

33. Even The Answering Machine Couldn’t Catch A Break

My first MIL was an abusive alcoholic. Back in the days of answering machines, she would leave nasty messages that took up the entire tape.

When I was in the hospital having my daughter, she decided to show up at our house and refuse to leave. She found our sex toys and displayed them at the very front of the linen closet, so they were the first things you saw when you opened the door.

She said horrible, horrific, homophobic things to my gay teenager over the phone, then threw a massive tantrum in front of the rest of the family when said teenager refused to talk to her.

— tattoovamp

34. A Conversation About Her Illness Became Another Family Argument

She literally told my fiancé that I’d accused her of giving herself cancer when I suggested that mold or smoking could possibly have contributed to her bone cancer.

This came after listening to her rant about how fabric had given her cancer. She’s been a smoker for over 30 years and drinks Coke almost daily. Her cancer was first found in her breast and lung, then later metastasized to her bones.

When I told her how she’d made me feel by gaslighting me about the mold, she told people I’d been yelling at her. I never once raised my voice.

— Garlicqueen1991

35. The Wedding Dance Was Only The Beginning

At my wedding, she danced with hubby during the father-daughter dance, AND she was PLASTERED, so she was all over HER OWN SON while they danced. It was gross. Hubby felt disgusted afterward.

She had rum in her Diet Coke in my delivery room at 10 a.m. while I was delivering my son, who had known birth defects.

She took the electricity account out of my BIL and SIL’s names for our trailer (we bought it from them) and had the $800+ deposit sent to her while telling BIL and SIL she had no idea what happened to the money. BIL came to our house threatening us over it.

Oh, and she brought her “partner” up here to visit us. HE WAS HER UNCLE, and he was just a nasty person. I didn’t want my kids around him.

— VexedVixen69

The post 35 Women Share The Pettiest And Most Outrageous Things Their Mothers-In-Law Have Said Or Done, And “She Means Well” Isn’t Cutting It appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

The folks in r/insanefbmarketplace collected these listings, and I appreciate their effort. I’d also appreciate an update on who paid actual money for this stuff.

1. I Really Wanted To Get This And Hang It Above My Bed. My Husband Wasn’t Quite Sure About That

2. A Painfully Accurate Description

3. Cookie Monster Bike ($1,234)

4. I Joined To Share This

5. Was The Demo Necessary

6. “He’s Hispanic”

7. Stick It To Your Ex For 20 Bucks

8. Where Did They Even Get This?

9. Just What I Need

10. Remotely Insane Listing

11. Can Someone Lend Me £7,500 Please?

12. Corn Mask

13. Local Facebook Marketplace

14. Seems Like A Steal

15. Crematorium

16. Is This Insane Enough?

17. I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Listing I Saw On Fb Marketplace

18. Marketplace Blunder

19. Found In Marketplace

20. The First Thing I See When I Open Facebook

21. Chainsaw Carved Ninja Turtles

22. She Had A Few Pictures Of The Actual Couch, Too, But This Was Her Main Picture

23. Horse Coffee Mug

24. “Religious Art”

25. Found Gold On Facebook Marketplace And Had To Share. A Lot To Process But I’m Obsessed. They’re Slaying Hard

26. Good Old Suitcase Full Of Mangos

27. Beagle Holder

28. Hey, If It Works It Works

29. This Person Near Me Crochets Hats For Chickens

30. Seen On Facebook Marketplace, Listed For $100

31. Vintage Salt And Pepper Shakers Japan ($25)

32. Foot Stool

33. Should I Adopt Him?

34. Kermit The Frog Rotary Phone $120

35. Should I……

36. Found This Gem Today

37. At Least They Dug It Out

38. I Happened Upon This Seller On Fb

39. Walter White Bust/Headphone Stand ($80)

40. “Completely Average Size”

41. Batman Cat Mask

42. Goat Pipes Anyone?

43. If This Doesn’t Belong Here Idk What Does

44. Did I Find One?

45. Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

The post 45 Unhinged Facebook Marketplace Listings With Very Optimistic Sellers appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Eventually, you have to call it. Whatever didn’t get done can get pushed to tomorrow’s list, where it will enjoy the company of several other tasks.

If you’ve reached that point today, here are some funny tweets to read while you officially become unavailable. And if you’re still getting things done, I admire your dedication. These will be here when you remember you’ve been reheating the same cup of coffee since breakfast.

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The post 35 Funny Tweets For Anyone Who’s Done Being Productive Today appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Would I trust every DIY repair in this list? I’d have to see how much weight we’re putting on it. But I can appreciate the thinking behind a questionable fix, especially when the proper replacement part costs more than the thing you’re fixing.

These DIY workarounds fall somewhere between clever engineering and something you should probably mention before letting a guest use it. For now, though, it works. Let’s give them that.

1. For Rainy Season

2. We Saw The Top Half Of This When We Drove By In Alaska Yesterday

3. This Is The Way Boys!!!

4. 6 People Have Their Own Lock And Each Person Can Open The Gate With Their Own

5. New Yacht, Having Trouble Naming Her Any Thoughts?

6. When You Want A Riding Mower But Only Got $8 And A Dream

7. When Everything Is Covered In Ice And Your Boots Have No Grip, But You Need To Go Outside

8. Didn’t Have A Jack, So I Used Children. Children Work Just Fine.

9. No Comment Necessary

10. I Found This In The Elevator At The Hotel I’m Staying At

11. I Made This A Little While Back

12. Wheelchairs In Bosnian Hospitals

13. Went To Visit My Cousin And Was Very Amused

14. Pretty Sure This Is What This Sub Was Created For

15. It Would Appear Someone In My Neighbourhood Is Attempting To Create A Budget Lawn Mower Tractor

16. 3-Row Ford F-350. Owner Built It Himself Over The Course Of 3 Years

17. Rubber Mallet

18. Found A Rather Brilliant Homemade Adjustable Welding Table On Fb This Morning

19. Used Truck At Dealership Has ‘Fixed’ Seat Recliner Handle

20. Honestly Kind Of Impressed

21. Anyone Else Mount Their Air Compressor On A Lawn Mower Body So It’s Easier To Push Around?

22. Authentic Redneck Expertise

23. When Some Guys In A Rural Maine Machine Shop Have Too Much Time On Their Hands, They Produce Greatness

24. The Setup vs. The Outcome

25. I’m Impressed, Disgusted, And Tempted All At The Same Time

26. I Bolted A Predator Generator To My Kid’s ATV And Now It’s Basically A Hybrid Tank—

27. Jim Bob Just Gave An OSHA Inspector A Stroke

28. DIY Audio Cable Adapter

29. Cooling Condenser Fan Stopped Working. Problem Solved!!! Client Says It’s Cooling Well Now

30. Am I Using This Properly?

The post 30 Questionable DIY Fixes That Make A Surprisingly Good Case For “If It Works, It Works” appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

Some people have considerably more follow-through and determination, though. They’ll spend actual money or commit to a bit for several months just to get revenge. I can barely remember to take chicken out of the freezer for dinner tonight.

These petty revenge stories cover noisy neighbors, difficult coworkers, cheating partners, and other people who pushed people’s patience to the edge. A few definitely took things further than I would, but the creativity deserves some acknowledgment.

1. The Customer Who Refused To Give His Name Got Exactly That On His Coffee

“I used to manage a Starbucks, and when one of my baristas asked a guy his name, he just flipped out, belittled her, called her stupid, etc., and didn’t give a name. I took over the hand-off drinks and placed his drink just on the hand-off with no words. (I’ll add, it was a busy store with a lot of people waiting.)

“I just kept putting drinks out for about 10–15 minutes, and the douchebag walked up and picked up his drink (which was now lukewarm) and went, ‘Is this mine?’ I just responded with, ‘I don’t know, it doesn’t have a name on it.’”

via u/Thejustinset

2. The Restaurant Charged For The Tablecloth, So It Came Home With Them

“Went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill, I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving, I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter asked, ‘What are you doing?’ I said, ‘I paid for it; I’m taking it home.’ And I did.”

via u/pierced7

3. Her Husband Kept Gaming Instead Of Helping, So His Phone Developed Internet Problems

“My husband plays games on his phone instead of helping around the house and with his kids. This is after YEARS of me asking nicely/begging. We now use a router that I bought. I throttled the speed for his phone only.”

via missusmelonpan

4. The Noisy Students Next Door Were Successfully Sleep-Trained

“I lived on a quiet street with my children, but then the house next door was converted into a student house. I was pregnant with two young children when they moved in. The late-night partying was immediate: screaming, swearing, laughing, loud music, running about until 6 a.m. EVERY night, and my little son was crying every night because he was frightened and couldn’t sleep. Talking to them made no difference. So, I decided to sleep train them.

“Every day at 7 a.m., I put the TV against the wall and played Tweenies at full blast all day until evening. After three days, the students were successfully sleep-trained and the nighttime noise stopped.”

via jborrett793

5. She Removed Every Canned Food Label And Let Dinner Become A Surprise

“My brother did something to annoy his then-girlfriend. So she took all the labels off of his canned food in the cupboards. Are you opening a tin of beans? Or a tin of tomato sauce? Or cat food? Kinda hilarious.”

via u/WhoriaEstafan

6. The Cheating Ex’s DVR Suddenly Had A Very Specific Theme

“My ex cheated on me with a married man. He now lives with her, and I still have the login for her DVR. So, I logged in, erased all her shows, then only recorded the show Cheaters. Petty, but it makes me laugh.”

via u/redman2532

7. She Bought The Personalized License Plate Her Coworker Wanted

“My coworker had been bad-mouthing me and trying to get me fired from my job, so when she told my friend that she was getting a personalized plate for her car, I bought what she was trying to put on it just so she couldn’t have the license plate.”

via silverelf64

8. The Sunscreen Sprayer Went Home One Flip-Flop Short

“We were sitting by a pool, and a woman stood over my wife and started spraying sunscreen all over herself, and my wife. We asked her nicely to please move, and she ignored us and kept spraying. When we left, I took one of her flip-flops with me.”

via u/whereyouatdesmondo

9. The Office Egg Thief Found Out They Weren’t Hard-Boiled Anymore

“I used to bring a couple of hard-boiled eggs to work for a snack, and someone kept stealing them. Their thievery came to an abrupt halt the day I replaced them with two raw eggs.”

via censusprincess

10. The Rude Shopper Accidentally Inspired A Coconut Milk Buyout

“A few years ago, I was grocery shopping and needed coconut milk. When I got there, a young couple was standing in front of the area, arguing about whether their recipe needed coconut milk or cream. After waiting for a minute for them to resolve the issue, I realized I would be waiting for a long time, so I politely asked if I could just squeeze past.

“The woman turned around and told me to, ‘Just f***ing wait.’ Thankfully, her boyfriend had some manners and stepped back from the shelves, and his girlfriend, who continued to loudly complain that the world didn’t revolve around her, moved with him.

“Well, I don’t like being sworn at by strangers, so I decided to buy the entire store’s worth of coconut milk and cream, about £30 worth of pure pettiness. I have no regrets.”

via kayleighh46dc7e3cb

11. The Boxers Finally Found Their Way Off The Bathroom Floor

“When I first got married, my husband would leave his boxers on the bathroom floor EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. After asking, begging, and threatening violence to get him to put his boxers in the laundry basket, I just got sick of it and started wrapping his dirty drawers around his pillow every time he left them on the floor. I haven’t seen boxers on the floor for 19 years now ;)”

via ninacarlson

12. Her Roommates Found Out She Was Moving When The Fridge Left Too

“I used to share a house with three other girls who would constantly have parties on school days, even letting their friends go inside my bedroom. I was also the only one who cleaned the house, and they were, simply put, horrible.

“I tried to be as amicable as possible, since I’m bad with conflicts, but one day, two of my friends were with me (in my room, watching movies in silence), and they called my parents to complain about it (because my friends weren’t ‘good enough’ to be at the house). Since I have a close relationship with them, they were also pretty pissed about the situation and immediately helped me find a new place. Here’s my petty revenge…

“I had bought the fridge for the house, so I didn’t let them know I was moving out until the day of the move. I came home early (when no one would be at the house), took all their food out of the fridge, put it on the counter, grabbed my things, and moved out. I texted them to let them know about the situation only when I was fully settled in the new house.”

via samanthatapiaa

13. The Boss Banned Popcorn, But The Smell Stayed For Six Months

“I had a boss seven to eight years ago whom I hated; she was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she decided that she didn’t like the smell of microwave popcorn, so she waved her magic office wand and had it banned.

“Fast-forward a month or so. I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emit a smell when plugged in, the smell of buttered popcorn. I bought it and plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had the sweet smell of Pop Secret in her office for six months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted.”

via u/weshric

14. He Stole A Water Bottle And Got Every Drop Of It

“This kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.”

via u/spartan-44

15. The Cheating Husband’s Shirts Developed A Mysterious Button Problem

“I know someone whose husband had an affair with the neighbor, so she kicked him out. His stuff was still in the house for a few months while they were going through divorce proceedings, so she took a pair of scissors and cut a button off every single one of his shirts. He got suspicious after a while, but she insisted it must be something with the washing machine…”

via novindalf

16. The Dirty Dishes Were Waiting In Their Roommate’s Bed

“Had a roommate who would cook huge meals but never washed the dishes. We were a house of six, so the five of us would constantly get on her about at least using the dishwasher.

“One day, she cooked a huge meal and then left for the weekend, LEAVING THE LEFTOVERS OUT ON THE STOVE AND TWO SINKS FULL OF DISHES. One of my roommates called me at work to warn me about the situation at home.

“When I got home, I took every pot, pan, dish, and fork and piled them on her bed. She came back two days later. Never had a problem again.”

via google_111288789788060830592

17. The Tea Bags Found A New Home In Her Wallet

“My missus leaves tea bags in the sink, so I put them in her wallet.”

via [deleted user]

18. The Test Copier Didn’t Know The Answers Were In Code

“Back when I was in high school, there was a kid in my math class who decided to…cheat off my tests. I was in a huge class, the teacher was oblivious, and this kid was aggressive AF.

“So, for our next test, I made a little key for myself: A=D, C=B, etc. I filled out the test, waited for him to turn his in and leave, then quickly changed the answers back. …

“A few days later the dude came up to me in the hall and asked how I did on the math test. ‘Oh, terrible. I think I failed. I’m not really very good at math.’ Last time he ever tried to cheat off me.”

via tamio2

19. The Chair Adjuster Finally Got A Surprise Of Her Own

“I had a coworker who used to constantly adjust my desk chair if she ever needed to use my computer, no matter how many times I asked her to either roll her own chair over or just stand for the brief time she used my computer.

“I have a hip full of arthritis, so it would always send a jolt of pain down my leg and up my back whenever I’d slam into my suddenly readjusted seat.

“One morning, before she came in, she changed my seat again, so I sat in hers, lowered it as low as it would go, then enjoyed the look of shock on her face as she fell an extra 6 inches or so into her chair when she went to sit.

“I said something dumb like, ‘Oh wow, did someone change your chair? So weird. I wonder who did that.’ And she never adjusted my chair again.”

via beaglerock

20. The Bad Parker Spent A While Looking For Damage That Didn’t Exist

“I put a note on my friend’s car while he was parked in a parking lot that said: ‘Sorry for the damage. Don’t park like an idiot next time!’

“No one did anything to his car, but he was freaking out, looking over his entire car multiple times to figure out where the damage was…I want to add that he constantly parked over the lines and sometimes in handicapped spaces. He did not have a disability. I’m not friends with him anymore.”

via mimi777

21. The Mother’s Day Flowers Had A Very Short Assignment

“My mother-in-law tried to break up my marriage, she had always been mean to me. My hubby asked me to buy her a bouquet of flowers for Mother’s Day. I phoned in the order with a request to use only the flowers that had the shortest life span in her bouquet. They didn’t last two days. Petty? Yes, but oh so satisfying.”

via sandyra

22. Every Pair Of Black Socks Became Slightly Wrong

“One time, my husband pissed me off over something that I can’t even remember now, so my petty revenge was to take all of his black socks (the only color he wears) and intentionally mismatch every single pair when I folded them. Crew socks with knee-high, ankles with dress socks, etc. It was the gift that kept on giving. 😆”

via staciet4e7ad0e39

23. The TV Was “Broken” In Three Different Ways

“My brother-in-law did something to irritate my wife back when they were in high school. My wife turned off the TV, wrote ‘broken’ on a piece of paper taped to the TV, shut off the power strip, and flipped the batteries around in the remote. Took my brother-in-law several days to figure it out.”

via u/SteevyT

24. The Flatmate’s Car Became A Popular Bird Destination

“I caught my flatmate telling lies about me to some mutual friends. I made plans to move out the next month. In the meantime, she went out of town for a week and left her car parked in its usual spot in the parking lot. I threw birdseed on it every morning and evening, so when she came home, the birds wouldn’t leave her car alone.”

via u/otefl

25. A Hidden Mouse Made This Coworker’s Computer Seem Possessed

“I once had a colleague I hated (he was very condescending and really arrogant), so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess him right up. Kept it going for like two months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.”

via [deleted user]

26. The Roommate Came Home To Several Hours Of Enya

“I had a roommate in college who would blare their TV and talk loudly on speakerphone well into the night. I was young and scared to confront them about it, but after a semester, I had had enough.

“One time, before going out, I put my speakers up against our shared wall and blasted Enya’s ‘Only Time’ on endless repeat. I also locked my door so they couldn’t come in to turn it off. I got back around 3 a.m.”

via [deleted user]

27. The Classmate Who Never Helped Got Some Very Unhelpful Notes

“I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade, and he did zero work. …

“So, instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions. I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight-up write stuff that makes no sense.

“An example of the crap I would put in: ‘To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).’

“If he had even once bothered to crack the text, he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him. He retook that class.”

via u/failing_forwards

28. One Laundry Day Left Him Sparkling For Months

“I put glitter in my friend’s laundry in university. He had pranked me the week before, and a week later, he was doing all his laundry at once. I got some glitter from the craft store and put half a vial into each of his loads of laundry. He was fabulous for months afterward.”

via u/MenudoMenudo

29. The Cookie Thieves Had Some Questions About The New Recipe

“I used to buy small treat bags of gourmet cookies from a local bakery a few years ago. I would eat maybe one a day, but they were a treat for me.

“Back then, my husband and I had a retail store and a few friends that would hang out at the store…and they would just help themselves; they had no self-control and wouldn’t even ask. I would buy the bag of cookies for me, and they’d be gone. I’d try to hide them but couldn’t.

“So, I bagged up a bunch of dog treats from the local pet food store that looked like cookies for people and were about the same size as the ones I bought from the bakery. I placed them where all the guys could see them, waited, and yep, they tried them.

“They asked if they were a bad batch or maybe the bakery missed an ingredient or two in the dough. I waited until they tried to eat more than three each…then told them they were dog treats. They never touched my cookies again.”

via [deleted user]

30. The Moviegoer Who Didn’t Need His Ticket Suddenly Needed His Ticket

“I used to work in a theater. During the last showing of the night, I checked a guy’s ticket, tore it, and went to give it back. He said, ‘I don’t need it.’ I said, ‘You do if you want to see your movie.’ He said, ‘Nope!’ and walked to his theater.

“I did the rest of the line, went into the theater, and asked for his ticket; he didn’t have one, so out the door he went.”

via kzich84

31. The Bulky Lunch Box Got A Taste Of Its Own Medicine

“Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

“So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetables, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car.

“I carefully packed it back in, and put it back. He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.”

via u/AR3Leatherworks

32. A Childhood Magic Trick Became A Delayed Rat Scare

“When I was a kid, I got the Sabrina, the Teenage Witch Magic Handbook, it was full of kiddie experiments and pretty fun.

“My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book: You fill a cup with water and corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, and then the kernels eventually pop, and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

“I put it under her bed, and it took a few days to ‘work,’ so I completely forgot about it, until one night, I woke up to my two sisters whispering. It had popped in the middle of the night, and she thought there was a rat under her bed.”

via u/caca_milis_

33. The Third Grader Who Was Denied Cinnamon Bread Took Everyone Down With Them

“In third grade, I was falsely accused by the hall monitor of talking during quiet time. Even after my dad came in and spoke to the teacher, she still punished me by keeping me from watching a movie and eating cinnamon bread with everyone else.

“The day before the class watched the movie and ate snacks, I unplugged the bread makers before we left school so no one would get any. I figured if I can’t have it, no one can.”

via u/firedrafter

34. His Double-Click Suddenly Required A Little More Commitment

“Speeding up a coworker’s double-click speed and watching him squirm when his normal double-clicking speed isn’t working.”

via u/reloadingnow

35. The Toilet Paper Stash Left With His Wife

“My ex-brother-in-law was emotionally and mentally abusive to my sister. He had irritable bowel disease and spent a lot of time on the toilet doing his business, and he had stocked up on toilet paper when everyone was buying them at the start of the pandemic.

“So, when she decided to leave him, I helped her move out, and we took the whole stash of toilet paper. Now, whenever she needs a laugh, I send her a picture of toilet paper.”

via sgroove91

36. The Coworker Spent The Day Fielding Calls About Two Free Goats

“A guy at work pissed me off, so I placed this Craigslist ad with his phone number: ‘Two free goats. Hablas español.’ He spent the rest of the day getting calls every 15 minutes or so.”

via u/JoeySalamander

37. The Former Roommate Suddenly Had Plenty Of Gym And Zillow Updates

“I had a terrible roommate who was once my best friend (long story). When she finally moved out, I used her email to sign up for all the gym email newsletters/notifications and Zillow listings.”

via SurfSummer

38. The Salad Dressing Thief Got A Whole New Blend

“In seventh grade, I used to take a homemade lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil, etc.), and one kid decided to steal it and drink it before lunchtime.

“I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it and started doing so in one gulp, so I couldn’t stop him. So, instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings. One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom’s kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it. He never stole my salad dressing again.”

via u/pipenho

39. She Found A Way To Get The Divorce Paperwork Filed

“Dealing with a cheating husband who claimed that he would file for divorce, but he totally didn’t want to until I threatened to do it. Then, he dragged on taking the paperwork to court to file.

“So I decided that I would celebrate his mistress’s birthday by pissing him off all day. I deliberately texted him about little things I knew would piss him off (especially if I included the mistress’s name, lol), and when he was good and mad, I sent him the TikTok video I found of them together.

“He sent another vague apology for cheating on me for 14 years, so I laughed that off. It pissed him off so much, HE TOOK THE DIVORCE PAPERWORK TO COURT AND FILED!

“He then gave me a sob story about how he ‘mourns his marriage ending,’ which I laughed off again and said that it was his own doing and to also thank the mistress for her help. He then blocked my phone. It was the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but well worth the effort!”

via doza75

40. The Family Scolding Came With Some Surprise Underwear At Work

“When I was a kid, I used to put underwear in my parent’s pockets and work bag whenever I was scolded. Petty delight, but now I feel bad for involving her work stuff because I know that all the hard work was for me.”

via limag

41. The Ex’s White Car Got An Oreo Coating In The Middle Of Winter

“I had an ex-boyfriend in high school who came up to me at lunch and accused me of making up a rumor about him (I didn’t and still to this day have no idea what he was talking about) and then screamed/humiliated me in front of the entire cafeteria.

“A few weeks later, in the middle of winter, my friends went outside during lunch and spit chewed-up Oreos all over his white Neon. By the time he found it, they were frozen to the car. That’s friendship right there.”

via hugsandkisses74

42. The Husband Who Kept Forgetting Got A Very Smelly Reminder

“My husband was being a king-size ass one day, and every time I asked him to help me do something, he wouldn’t do it and would claim he ‘forgot’ while playing Call of Duty all night.

“I was cleaning his car out after a trip and found my daughter’s dirty diaper on the floor in the backseat. I ‘forgot’ it out there. Brand-new car smelled like a dumpster. 😈”

via boomcginty

43. The Threatening Client Acquired A Whole Lot Of Unwanted Email

“A client sent a super nasty and borderline death-threat email in response to my job informing all clients that we required vaccines/masks a few years ago. He was banned, and now he’s also signed up for 100+ junk emails every 30 seconds for the rest of his life.”

via shelbyhoughton

44. The Cookie Thief Got A Batch With A Little Extra Heat

“Decades ago, when my father was in high school, the school bully kept stealing his cookies from his lunch. After this happened a few times, my dad and grandma got together and made a special batch of cookies, basic sugar cookies with glorious red frosting. The red in the frosting was from cayenne pepper.”

via caircair

45. The Sandwich Thief Had To Wait His Turn For The Hall Pass

“This happened a while back, during study hall in eighth grade. I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall, since our teacher let us eat in that class.

“One day, I was about to eat my sandwich, but I left to use the bathroom. As I walk back in the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I was pretty annoyed, but it was nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely, and he denies it. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is.

“On the third day, I came up with a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce, it was everywhere, but luckily, it didn’t smell spicy.

“I get to study hall…leave my trap sandwich on my desk, and get up to use the restroom. This time, I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because…only one person was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water.

“After about 10 minutes, I come back to class to be greeted by the sandwich thief, crying hysterically with a bright red face, waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.”

via u/iwmcguy

46. The Cheating Ex Lost Every Pocket In His Wardrobe

“My ex had been cheating on me the entire five years we were together. I was young and dumb and thought he would clean up his act. The final straw was one night when he came home and fell asleep on the couch.

“One of his stores had caught fire recently, and another had been robbed, so he was working 16-plus-hour days. His phone went off, and I checked it, just to make sure it wasn’t important, to know if he could sleep or if I should wake him up. Nudes.

“Dumped a bucket of ice-cold water on him, kicked him out into a snowstorm, and proceeded to cut out all the pockets of all the pants in his wardrobe. All the utility pockets, all the back pockets, all of them were cut out. IDGAF.”

via bbvonpinkbunz

47. The Pumpkin Display Was Much Sturdier This Year

“Every year, the neighborhood jerk would run over my friend’s pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway. My friend decided to put a stop to it. He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikrete. Filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.

“The guy broke the axle of his shotty car when he hit that pumpkin, couldn’t even drive away. My friend had his car towed away, too.”

via u/cuddlenazifuckmonstr

48. The Lunch Thief Got Three Days Of Increasingly Bad Lunches

“For people who steal others’ lunches, you deserve what you get. Some bum at my job was doing it for weeks before I started paying them back. A couple of berry (prune) smoothies, ghost pepper curry, and tasty tuna fish (cat food) sandwiches. Meanwhile, I’m eating McDonald’s in my car. The food stealing stopped after three days. 😑”

via Arihat

49. Grandma Made A Special Batch Of Brownies For The Lunch Thief

“Back when my mom was in school, she said someone would always steal both her brothers’ lunches. So, one day, my grandma made brownies and put laxatives in them. Their lunch never got stolen again.”

via mayork13

50. His Father’s Hair Products Had Been Working Against Each Other For Years

“My brother was manipulated at a young age (maybe 8 or 9) into keeping my father’s affair a secret after he found condoms in my dad’s gym bag. My dad basically told my brother it would be his fault and the family would be destroyed if anyone found out.

“Fast-forward six or seven years when everyone found out because he got caught with his mistress in his classroom after school (he’s a high school teacher).

“My mom decided to leave him, and my brother wrote my dad a scathing letter about how horrible a father and husband he was, and ended it by letting my dad know he’d been putting Nair (hair removal) in his Rogaine (hair-growth treatment) for the last two or three years.”

via rbrynielson

51. The Tailgater Could Have Just Passed

“This guy in an El Camino was aggressively tailgating me in the slow lane, on the highway. Traffic was light, so he could have passed easily. I was in an SUV. I saw metal debris in the road ahead of me; I knew I could clear it, and did. He wasn’t so lucky.”

via [deleted user]

52. His Toothbrush Got Reassigned To Bathroom Cleaning

“My now-ex-husband told me that he wanted a divorce and I wasn’t worth fighting for. This was right before he left me penniless and borrowing money for food. He didn’t leave for two weeks and got pissed when I wasn’t still doing his laundry. I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush.”

via Sixthtryatadamnusername

53. The Cheating Husband’s Aftershave Got An Unwelcome New Ingredient

“My husband of 28 years suddenly had new clothes and aftershave at Christmas. I asked him where they came from, and he hedged on his answer. Shortly after, I found out he was having an affair, and I told him to leave.

“When he was packing, I went in the bathroom, took the aftershave, peed in it, and then put it back in his bag. I know it’s petty, but after 30 years, my friends and I still laugh! He never found out. I hope his girlfriend enjoyed my scent!”

via stollgramj

54. The Younger Brother Suddenly Had A Bed-Wetting Problem Too

“When I was a kid, I had a bed-wetting problem. I’m not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems, at the time, however, this was humiliating.

“My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified. Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So, I decided to level the playing field. …

“I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother. ‘I don’t know what to do, now BOTH of them are pissing the bed,’ she explained, clearly frustrated.

“After a few more times of ‘framing’ my brother as a bed-wetter, he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.”

via u/hardybe

55. The Loud Neighbors Received A Frozen Delivery Under Their Door

“I lived in an apartment with a roommate. We had neighbors who would throw wild parties pretty frequently and often during the week.

“One day my roommate, who had to be awake early, had had enough and decided to piss on a metal pizza pan and stick it in the freezer. After a wild party, he pulled the pan out, flipped it upside down, giving him a frozen disk of piss, and then slid that disk under their door where it would melt on their fully carpeted entryway.

“Woke up to them shouting at the people who crashed at their place about who pissed on the floor and WTF was wrong with them.

“Wish I could say they toned down their parties, but they didn’t, and they eventually got evicted.”

via u/Sharcbait

The post 55 Petty Revenge Stories From People Who Had Enough And Got Creative appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

This is her one chance to have a built-in costume accessory that a lot of people don’t have, and I think she should take advantage of it. There are so many funny ways to work a baby bump into a Halloween costume, and I’ve made it my mission to convince her.

So, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite pregnancy Halloween costumes that women have shared online, mostly so I can send it to my wife for inspiration. Personally, I get a kick out of the avocado costume, but I think she’d look great in just about any of these.

1. Wonder Woman Pregnant With Superman

2. Bb-8 (Baby-8) Pregnant Costume

3. Ripe Avocado

4. Elliott And E.T.

5. Pearl

6. Mr. Potato Head

7. Cow

8. This Scarecrow Picked The Most Precious Pumpkin In The Patch

9. My Pregnant Friend Won For Best Costume This Year

10. Juno (& Paulie)

11. My Partner Is 8 Months Pregnant, Here Is Our Halloween Costume

12. Prego Jar

13. Cutest Pregnant For Halloween Costume

14. Krang And Shredder Have Captured Master Splinter

15. Fat Thor from Avengers: Endgame

16. Best Pregnant Halloween Costume Ever

17. Octopus

18. Didn’t Have To Many Options…

19. Bun In The Oven

20. Cat With Fishbowl

21. Beach Time

22. Bop-It

23. Deviled Eggs

24. Road Worker

25. Gumball Machine

26. Pokeball

27. Cat In The Hat-inspired Things Costumes.

28. Jailbreak

29. Violet From Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

30. Magic 8 Ball

31. Mike Wazowski

32. Deviled Egg

33. Snowman

34. Tennis Ball

35. Costume Part I

The post 35 Funny And Clever Pregnancy Halloween Costumes That Put The Baby Bump To Work appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

But there comes a point where you gotta accept the reality that you sent it. Following up with “wrong person” only works so many times.

These embarrassing text messages include some legitimate mistakes and some attempted recoveries that probably should have stayed in the drafts. A few are innocent enough. Others make a pretty compelling case for handing your phone to a trusted adult before continuing.

Unfortunately, we are the trusted adults now, which explains a lot.

1. Sliding Into The DMs With A Running Start And Immediately Tripping

2. When You Start Suspecting You’re Dating Someone’s ChatGPT Account

3. When Movie Night Leads To A Very Awkward Text From Dad

4. Possibly The Worst Day To Send This Particular Message

5. The Ride Ended. Unfortunately, The Messages Didn’t.

6. Grandma Has A Question For Google. Unfortunately, This Isn’t Google.

7. An “Accidental” Text From An Ex That Probably Didn’t Need A Follow-Up

8. Nothing Says “Personal Opportunity” Like An Unedited Recruiting Template

9. An “Accidental” Text From The Married Neighbor

10. Picking A Fight With An Auto-Reply And Still Losing

11. Happy Birthday! Have You Considered Refinancing?

12. Apparently, We’re Sending Bank Statements As Pickup Lines Now

13. Two Very Different Interpretations Of The Word “Sick”

14. Getting Someone’s Name Wrong Is Always A Strong Start

15. Getting Rejected And Immediately Declaring Victory

16. One Date, Two Years Ago, And A Conversation He’s Still Having By Himself

17. Just Casually Calling Your Coworker “Gorgeous” By “Accident”

18. Dad Would Like You To Know He Will Pick You Up

19. A Message That Was Definitely Not Meant For The Manager

20. The Group Chat Apparently Has A Strict Popularity Policy

21. A Year Later, That “Wrong Number” Suddenly Needs Help With A Group Project

22. When Your Opening Message Comes With Its Own Apology

23. A Terrible Moment To Commit To The Bit

24. That’s A Very Convenient Time To Blame Speech-To-Text

25. Denying You Sent A Message While It’s Still Right There In The Conversation

26. Niagara And Nigeria Are Two Very Different Answers

27. Autocorrect Just Made This Introduction Much Worse

28. A Personal Update His Stepson Really Didn’t Need

29. “Don’t Open That” Quickly Became “You Can Open It If You Want”

30. An Opening Line With An “Oops, Wrong Person” Already Built In

31. Asking Your Crush For Advice About Your Crush On Them

32. Nothing Says “Just Joking” Like Bringing It Up Again Two Days Later

33. A Coworker Took This Conversation On A Very Unnecessary Detour

34. Getting Rejected Was All Part Of The YouTube Prank

The post 34 Awkward Text Messages That Are Painful To Read And Impossible To Look Away From appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

So I appreciate the people in these Tumblr posts. They’re willing to give a ridiculous thought the time it needs. They’ll consider the possibilities.

It’s nice to see other people doing this publicly. Makes me feel better about the arguments I’ve won in my head while waiting for the microwave.

1. Mama Feed Me!

2. I’d Read A 500-Page Novel Based On This

3. I Love My Veggies, But There Are Way Too Many Meat Dishes I Love To Let Go Of Or Eat Less Of

4. Everyone Will Not Just _____

5. Fish Networking

6. I Can’t Stand It When People Say “There’s No Way You Could Do Blank Without Chatgpt”

7. Get The Screen Out Of My Appliances

8. Iykyk, Qed

9. On Automation

10. I Don’t Think We Appreciate Daniel Radcliffe Enough

11. The Internet Was A Mistake

12. What’s Something That Can Easily Be Improved But Won’t

13. Humans Have Always Been Petty

14. Novel Depression Treatment

15. Oh How The Times Have Changed

16. Oral Tradition And Pandering

17. Pink Panther

18. Reading For Everyone

19. Everyday I Push Through Despair With The Power Of Hope

20. I’m Actually Mean

21. On Ads

22. On Hats And Wealth Inequality

23. On The Value Of Mystery

24. Mask Off And On Again 2

25. Well

26. Technically Not Against The Rules

27. Philomena Cunk

28. Real Gamers Know

29. Blood

30. Dont Forget To Pee On The Poor Today

31. Samwise, The Untemptable

32. Dolly

33. Tarot

34. The Existential Dread Of Chalk

35. Task Failed Successfully

h/t: r/CuratedTumblr

The post 35 Funny Tumblr Posts That Took A Weird Turn And Kept Going appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

That tweet made us laugh today, along with someone accidentally downloading the Zoom logo instead of joining a meeting. A perfectly reasonable stopping point for the workday, if you ask me. The effort was there.

Here are today’s funniest tweets, collected while I was supposed to be doing something else. Fortunately, collecting them eventually became the thing I was supposed to be doing.

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The post 26 Funniest Tweets Of The Day, Because You Were Going To Keep Scrolling Anyway appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I don’t do it. I bottle it up and wait for an opportunity to rant about it. Like right now.

Airport and travel behavior is probably what I judge most harshly. We’re all crammed in here. You’re not the only person who would like to stop being on this plane.

Of course, that came up when people shared the everyday habits and behaviors they silently judge others for. I felt very understood.

1. Treating The Whole Restaurant To Your Kid’s YouTube Videos

“Parents who go out to eat with their young children and totally ignore them. I’ve seen parents out with their children, and as soon as they are seated, they hand a phone to the child so they can watch cartoons on YouTube. Then they play it at high volume without earbuds, so if you are seated anywhere close to them, you have to hear that child’s cartoons the entire time you are trying to enjoy your meal and have conversations with your spouse.”

— Anonymous, 67, female, southeastern US

2. Crowding Someone In An Otherwise Empty Line

“It’s a little thing, but I hate it when people stand too close to me in line. Especially when there’s no reason. I understand it if everyone’s jammed into a tight area, but I hate being at the grocery store and having someone up my [butt], coughing, blowing their nose, and asking personal/political questions. Especially when there’s no one else in line with us. Back [up].”

— vibrantdolphin59

3. Turning The Gym Into Your Personal Film Set

“People who livestream their workouts and/or set up their own personal thirst trap photoshoots in public gyms. Get over yourself. Also, people who FaceTime in public locker rooms. Have some respect for other people’s privacy. No one wants to be in the background of your call or post when they are trying to work out or get changed. Seriously.”

— Anonymous

4. Trying To Skip The Entire Plane On The Way Out

“The people that stand up and walk toward the front of the plane the second the seatbelt sign goes off. There is a clear row-by-row departure process, and some people couldn’t care less.”

— Anonymous, 49, male, Cleveland area

5. Deciding Your Dog Needs A Seat At Taco Bell

“People who bring their dog into every store/restaurant when they’re obviously not a service dog! I’m sorry, but NO! Your dog belongs at home…not inside the Taco Bell. I’ve seen, on more than one occasion, the owner put their tiny dog on the dang table while they were eating, and I wanted to scream! That is such a health code violation and disgusting!”

— sweetminion291

6. Blocking The Elevator Before Anyone Can Get Out

“People waiting for the elevator standing in the front of the door making it hard to get out.”

— messycookie557

7. Leaving Unwanted Groceries On Whatever Shelf Is Closest

“In a store, when people decide they no longer want to purchase an item, rather than return it to the original location, they simply shove it onto the nearest shelf, making it someone else’s problem to clean up.”

— Anonymous, 56, male, Delaware

8. Being Late Without Sending A Single Text

“I hate it when people are late to things. Fifteen minutes is fine; any more than that and I’m leaving. If you’re going to be late, TELL ME first, as soon as you realize you’re going to be late. It’s really not that hard.”

— ruchav

9. Singing Over The People Everyone Paid To Hear

“Stop singing all the songs when you go into a movie or show!! Literally NOBODY there paid to hear you sing all the words! I am not impressed that you know every lyric and beat! Shut up and let the professionals do it! That’s what I paid to hear! Not you!”

— Anonymous

10. Acting Like Turn Signals Are An Optional Upgrade

“Drivers that don’t use their blinkers when making turns or changing lanes. Lazy and ridiculous!”

— Anonymous, 54, male, Maryland

11. Forgetting Basic Door-Holding Courtesy

“People that do not hold the door open behind them when they know someone is there. Or don’t say thank you when you hold the door for them.”

— awkwardflower917

12. Being Rude To The People Closest To You

“How they talk to their parents or spouses. I can’t stand hearing some naggy wife or disrespectful ‘the old ball and chain’ husband. Also, I’ve heard teenagers talk to their parents in ways I’d have gotten smacked for.”

— cyranoscw

13. Knowing Everything And Learning Absolutely Nothing

“Know-it-alls. They immediately draw my hyper focus, and I start to scrutinize everything about them as a human being. Nothing more frustrating than dealing with someone that thinks knowledge begins and ends with them. You can’t teach them anything; they don’t grasp new concepts, and they are so narrow-minded. Not to mention a lot of them are undeservingly arrogant and pretentious.”

— maskedgem90

14. Protecting Yourself From A Dirty Bathroom By Making It Dirtier

“Some women obsess about the cleanliness of public restrooms and insist on lining the toilet seat with sheets of toilet paper before they will sit down. But then, when they’re finished, they discard the paper on the floor of the stall, essentially making the bathroom dirtier than it was for the next user. How hard is it to flush the seat-lining toilet paper?”

— Anonymous, 71, female, Maryland

15. Parking In The Fire Lane For “Just One Or Two Things”

“Leaving your car in front of a grocery store in the fire lane while you go in for ‘just one or two things.’”

— Anonymous, 65, male, Florida

16. Making Sure Every Table Can Hear Your Conversation

“Loud, rude people. Like groups in a restaurant, who are ridiculously loud…laughing, animated, shouting over each other with no regard to anyone else in the room. Also, the people who walk through a store talking out loud and wearing earbuds. Have respect for people around you.”

— Anonymous, 63, female, Charlotte, North Carolina

17. Bringing Small Children To R-Rated Movies

“People who bring their small children to R-rated movies. Just because you can’t hire a babysitter doesn’t mean we all have to suffer.”

— Anonymous

18. Leaving Your Gum On The Sidewalk

“People spitting out their gum on the sidewalk. How would you like it if I did that on your driveway?”

— Anonymous, 35, female, Washington

19. Holding Up The Checkout Because You’re Busy Chatting

“People not being prepared to transact their business at the checkout, the bank teller, etc., and especially so if you can’t tap your card successfully on your own or are unable to type in your debit pin correctly or don’t know how to insert your chipped card into the ATM terminal, then maybe you should just focus on the business transaction and less on the silly chitchat with the cashier, ’cause you’re holding up the line by being unprepared on your turn. Oh yeah, I’m judging [you].”

— Anonymous, 54, male, Sacramento

20. Riding On Sidewalks And Blowing Through Stop Signs

“People who ride bicycles, scooters, and e-bikes on sidewalks and blow past stop signs.”

— Anonymous

21. Walking Ahead While Your Small Child Trails Behind

“People who walk ahead of their small children, leaving the kid behind them out of their line of sight.”

— Anonymous, 41, female, Ohio

22. Sharing Every Last Detail On Social Media

“People who overshare or share too much on social media. Not everything needs to be shared, and not everyone needs to know certain things about your personal life!”

— Anonymous

23. Running The Faucet Like Water Is Unlimited

“Water is a gift that should not be wasted. So many clear the table and rinse their dishes with the faucet wide open the entire time. Use a large bowl in the sink to rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Also, be conservative when brushing your teeth by wetting the brush and using water to rinse. It’s not the price but the indiscriminate waste of a resource we all need so badly. Water shortages are real. Be a good steward.”

— Anonymous

24. Turning Public Farting Into A Reaction Video

“Farting in public, especially if you have a friend with a camera to get reactions. When did this become funny? My parents raised me better! I cannot resist a confrontation when this happens anywhere close to me.”

— Anonymous, 64, male, North Carolina

25. Taking Your Time Leaving A Busy Parking Garage

“When people in a crowded parking garage take their own sweet time to pull out of the space, when they know people are trying to park.”

— awkwardflower917

26. Building A Grocery Mountain On The Conveyor Belt

“In the grocery store, I judge people who carelessly pile all their items on the conveyor belt and don’t even attempt to turn them so the barcode is facing the scanner. Some people build mountains of items, and it just makes it take more time for the cashier to scan them, not to mention increasing the risk of repetitive motion injuries. The cashier is scanning items for hours every day; you’re not, so you can take the couple of seconds to make their jobs a little bit easier.”

— wardenfelix

27. Treating The Recycling Bin Like A Garbage Can

“I judge people who don’t recycle properly, if they don’t clean their recyclables, or just plain put their garbage in the recycling. If any of the recyclables are contaminated with food, the WHOLE BAG goes in the landfill. No one at the recycling plant is going to clean up your mess for you. You’re literally defeating the whole point of recycling, you lazy, nasty [people].”

— pamelaehn

28. Jogging Through Rush-Hour Foot Traffic And Getting Annoyed By It

“I work in the busiest commercial district of downtown Chicago, and my pet peeve is people who get dressed in their skimpiest workout gear and go jogging through the Loop at rush hour. Very few people actually live in the Loop, so at rush hour, sidewalks are full of people walking to catch the train or bus or otherwise commuting. These people suit up to go for a jog right at 9 or 5 p.m., then act huffy and annoyed that there are a bunch of people on the sidewalk in the way of their workout or commuting. It feels both clueless and very, ‘Hey, everyone, look how fit I am in my teeny tiny workout attire!’ If you do live in the Loop, I guarantee you that the expensive building you live in has a gym. So go use it. No commuters in the way of your workout, but alas, less of an audience for you, I suppose.”

— lawyerlady1

29. Living In Constant “Flex” Mode

“Bragging. I have a neighbor who is in constant ‘flex’ mode. He has tons of expensive toys, works out, and constantly posts about his lavish lifestyle, money, ‘gym fit’ body, and fancy car collection. But he’s never actually accomplished much else in his life besides accumulating stuff. Sure, he owns a Hummer, but he never served in the military; he owns fancy assault rifles, but he was never trained to fight or know the camaraderie one earns as part of a fighting unit. He takes expensive peptide therapy to build his movie star body. He’s never actually had to work for anything in his life without finding an ‘easy’ way to do it. He thinks everyone envies him. But he’s nothing but a caricature of an Americanized joke. I kind of pity him.”

— Anonymous, 56, male, Kansas City, Missouri

30. Smoking, Especially In Public

“Smoking…at all, but especially in public. It’s 2026. We’ve known about the health risks and cancer for DECADES. Yet some idiots still smoke. At this point, there is no excuse.”

— heroicshark374

31. Participating In Street Racing

“Street racing. I think anyone who participates is a callous, evil idiot.”

— Anonymous, 59, female, Los Angeles

32. Using Baby Talk, Even With Actual Babies

“Baby talk. Yeah, I get it, a 3-month-old can’t talk yet, but you’re already imprinting bad grammar and pronunciation on them. Plus, people sound like idiots when they do it. Even worse when an adult talks to another adult that way. This isn’t a gender thing either; I’ve heard men do this and seen the eye rolls the other person makes.”

— Anonymous, 64, NY

33. Judging Someone’s Entire Vocabulary By Their Swearing

“Cussing and foul language. You can be the smartest rocket scientist in the world, and as soon as I hear that, my first thought is that you are the dumbest person alive.”

— Anonymous

34. Assuming Dirty Shoes Mean Everything Else Is Dirty

“Dirty shoes/unpolished shoes. If those are dirty, they don’t think much about other cleanliness.”

— Anonymous, 80, female, Canada

35. Having Strong Feelings About Artificial Fruit

“When people decorate with fake flowers and fruit.”

— Anonymous

h/t: Buzzfeed

The post 35 Everyday Habits People Admit They’re Silently Judging You For appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I understand it’s prone to human error, but could we at least program this thing to warn you when you’ve captured something that shouldn’t be seen by mortal eyes? Maybe automatically order some holy water through Uber Eats? My phone knows when there’s moisture in the charging port, but apparently an unidentified creature in the family vacation photo is my problem.

These funny panorama fails are a good reminder to check the picture before you tell everyone, “Okay, got it!”

1. Tried To Take A Panoramic Picture Of The Eiffel Tower Today, It Went Surprisingly Well!

2. The Mountain Giant

3. I Think I Captured Another Dimension

4. Panoramic Shot Gone Right

5. Wheely Strange Tour Bus

6. My Mom Moved During A Panorama. Troll Face Ensued

7. Wanna Pet My Dog?

8. Messing Around With Panorama In Class A Couple Weeks Ago

9. My Kid Took A Panorama Photo Of Me That Went Horribly Right

10. We Were Told Radio Was A Husky/Shepherd/Heeler Mix, But We Suspect Caterpillars Or Centipedes May Be Somewhere In The Family Tree…

11. Camera Malfunctioned As We Motored Away From The Dock

12. Thanksgiving With The Family + Panoramic Photos = Picasso Paintings In Real Life

13. Taking A Panorama Of The Yard When The Dog Walked By. The Result

14. To Make A Cute Panorama Picture

15. A Well Timed Panoramic Photo

16. Friend Tried To Take A Panorama Of Her Dachshund

17. Vive La Révolution

18. My Wife’s Hawaiian Panorama Shot Of Her Dad Didn’t Turn Out As Expected

19. Saw The Eiffel Tower Pic So I Thought I Would Drop My Panoramic Art Of A Castle Tower

20. I Don’t Know What Happened But I Like It!

21. New Model Of Microcar!

22. Seeing Triple

23. So Apparently, You Can Unwrap Your Face Using Your Phone’s Panoramic Mode

24. This Is What Happens When You Take A Panoramic Shot Of A Horse In Motion

25. Panorama Shot Transformed My Father In Law

26. Picatso

27. Lil Plane

28. My Friend Stood Up During A Panoramic Shot And All That I Got Were His Disembodied Floating Legs

29. Failed Panoramic

30. Panoramic Shot Gone Wrong

The post 30 Funny Panorama Fails That Turned Normal Photos Into Something Much Weirder appeared first on Pleated Jeans.

I’m not sure I’d believe them if they told me something creepy happened. But I would be entertained.

That being said, these people on Reddit DID see something weird during their night shift, and now I’m wishing I asked the old night shift more questions when we worked together. 

1. The Radio Call Sent Them Into An Unused Part Of The Hospital

I used to work armed security for a hospital network and would work a lot of nights at our oldest hospital that’s been around since the mid-1800s. One night, I was doing my rounds when I got a call over the radio to go check the old dorms because we had a report that someone was up there.

These are no longer used, very old dormitories that were used by the nuns who stayed at the hospital way back when. No one was supposed to be up there. I acknowledged it and went to check it out. There was no power in this section, so it was flashlight time. I was checking all the rooms, but there was nothing.

As I was about to head back and say I found nothing, I heard a bang in the next room. I called out, “Security, please come out; you’re not supposed to be here,” but there was no answer. There was a bang again, and it sounded like someone had started running. I sprinted into the next room, but no one was there.

I looked all over and found nothing and no one. What’s even crazier is that dispatch told me they never called me and didn’t hear me when I said I’d go check it out.

— FlannelLegend1

2. Someone Was Still Typing At 2 A.M.

I used to work night shifts as a janitor at a small office building. One night, around 2 a.m., I was mopping the hallway when I heard someone typing on a keyboard. It was weird because I was the only one there.

I checked the office where the sound was coming from, and all the lights were off. I walked in, and it stopped. But the chair at the desk was slowly spinning, like someone had just been sitting there.

I left my mop and didn’t go back in. I finished my shift in the lobby.

— External-Raisin-6258

3. The Classroom Wasn’t As Empty As It Looked

I used to work the late shift as classroom IT support for a college. Since night classes rarely had urgent issues, we spent most of our time handling repairs and maintenance that couldn’t be done during the day.

I’m fine with the dark, so I usually didn’t bother turning on the lights if I just needed to do something quick on a computer. One night, around 10 p.m., I had a ticket to install software on the instructor’s PC in a classroom I hadn’t been to before.

I headed in, and the room was dimly lit by the faint glow of hallway light spilling through the door. About halfway across the room, I stopped dead in my tracks.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and this overwhelming feeling hit me: I was being watched. No, not just watched. I felt surrounded.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, and that’s when I saw them. Hospital beds. Dozens of them line the walls. And in each bed, there was a figure sitting up, staring straight at me.

HOLY SHIT.

“OH, I’M SORRY!” I blurted out instinctively, heart pounding in my chest.

Then, it freaking hit me that they weren’t real. They were all just plastic dummies. I had wandered into a nursing classroom.

— Melbel53

4. A Guest Called To Complain About The Piano

I worked as the night shift auditor/front desk alone all night, five nights a week at the Green Park Inn in Blowing Rock, North Carolina.

So it’s 3 a.m., and I’m sitting at the desk, bored out of my mind and ready to go home, when the front door opens slowly and then closes back. No one is there. I already knew the stories from the hotel and its history, so I’m a little uneasy, but I guess it could have been the wind.

About 20 minutes go by, and I get a call from a guest asking why someone is playing the piano in the reception room directly below her room at this hour of the night.

So I had to go to the reception room to see what was going on, and as I got closer, I could clearly hear the piano playing. I’m thinking maybe we have an intoxicated guest or maybe an older guest with dementia.

Right as I get ready to open the door to the reception room, the music stops. No one was in there. The last two hours of my shift seemed to go on forever.

— babywitch828

5. The Footsteps Started Running, Too

I worked the night shift for most of my adolescence. I was on the third and fourth floors of a mall, and one of my jobs was to walk through the back stairwell that was made for fire escape. I was really overweight at the time and had to take breaks on the stairs.

As I walked, I suddenly heard something that sounded like footsteps. I called out, “Hello, security. Is someone there?” Dead silence.

I kept walking and heard the footsteps again. This time I shouted, “SECURITY! WHO’S THERE?” Nothing. The footsteps started again, and I started hustling.

Now, there’s no way out of the stairs once you’re on them. They go all the way down to the first floor and exit outside. I was on the fourth floor. I heard the footsteps coming, and they were getting louder and closer.

I started running, and so did the other steps. I raced down the stairs and frantically got my key to disarm the fire door. If you don’t disarm it and go through it, the fire alarm will go off.

I was trying to get the key in and heard the footsteps loudly coming RIGHT at me. I slammed the door open, setting off the alarm. I ran outside and turned around with my mace, ready to spray whoever came out. Nothing. Dead silence. Nobody was there.

I lied to my boss and fire department and said I accidentally tripped into the door.

— Royalchariot

6. Closing Time Came With An Unexpected Customer

I was closing up a restaurant at midnight. I was mopping the dining area, turned around to rinse the mop, and looked out the window to see a 9 to 10-foot moose looking in the window back at me.

I swear my heart stopped for a few seconds. Then it just walked off across the road.

— LanceSniper

7. They Could Hear The Cleaning Crew On The Other Side Of The Door

I’m not a night shift worker, but I was working late one night at my office alone and I heard the cleaning crew come in and start doing their usual routine.

About 10 minutes later, I closed up and I could still hear them, so I decided to go tell them I was heading out so that way they weren’t surprised.

The office is divided into two sections by secure doors, one side for the main teams and the other for admin teams. The exit for the building is on the main team side, so I had to leave the admin side to go to my car. I packed my bags, walked to the dividing door, and could still hear the cleaning crew rolling their large trash cans around, vacuuming, etc.

However, as soon as I opened the dividing door, it became deathly quiet. Like the void of space quiet. But I had just heard them, so I knew they had to still be there; maybe they just all paused at the same time. Dumb thought.

I kept calling out to them, saying I was leaving, but I didn’t hear any responses, so I decided to walk around and look for them. There was no one there. It spooked me, so I made a beeline for the exit. There were no cars besides mine in the parking lot either.

I hopped in my car, drove home, and never worked that late again.

— arty8803

8. “Are You All Alone Back There?”

I was in college working at a coffee shop. My shift was set to end at midnight, and I could leave when the baker arrived. My crappy manager wanted to leave early, so he locked the doors and left me alone to hold down the fort.

Typically, it’s not a problem. Very few people go to the drive-through in the middle of the night. After he left, I heard a door open. It was a man who I assume was hiding in the bathroom.

I told him the lobby was closed. He asked, “Are you all alone back there?” I obviously lied and said, “No, I’m here with the baker and stock boy. You need to leave and go through the drive-through for your order.”

He just stood there. I pressed a button on my headset and said, “John, will you please call for assistance? There’s a man here who will not leave.”

Thankfully, the real baker arrived while I retreated to the back room, and when we returned to the front, the man wasn’t there anymore.

That was the last time I ever worked there alone. My coworker walked me out to my car, and I was shaking the whole way home.

— Nuggslette

9. The Residents Kept Asking About A Little Boy

As a night shift nurse, I’ve seen lots of spooky things, but the one that always creeped me out was at the nursing home I used to work at.

It had been an old mansion before being turned into a facility, so it already had creepy Addams Family vibes. But it was just a thing where residents would see a little boy playing in their room before they died.

I’d be giving meds or whatnot, and they would look past me and point to nothing (“Is that little boy yours?” “Why is that boy up so late?”).

All of them would die within days of seeing him. Also, it’s pretty neat in a way.

— PrincessConsuela46

10. They Checked Both Wings And Found No One

When I was 22, I interned in a nursing home to get credits for school. I couldn’t find any nursing home nearby that would accept me except this one, but it included night shifts.

One night, the two other nurses and I were right about done with our shift around 11 p.m. The rule was that we had to wait for the night shift to relieve us. We waited in the break room/conference room since there were cameras there, and we could see if any resident got out of their room.

As we were chatting, my colleague stopped, stared at the camera, and said, “Uhh, I think I saw someone on the first-floor corridor. Let’s go and check it out.” The other nurse couldn’t be bothered, so I tagged along.

So, we took the stairs to check it out, but as soon as when we got there, I got this feeling like it was cold, but not really. Something felt wrong.

We checked the left wing, but there was no one. We checked the right wing. No one. Alright, cool, no emergencies. Let’s go back to the break room.

We called the elevator, got on, and pressed the button to the ground floor. As the doors closed, we both saw an old lady standing in front of the door, smiling at us.

We rushed to the break room, terrified, and checked the cameras. Nothing. The night shift arrived maybe two minutes later, but it felt like an hour.

— Lordmak

11. The Figure In The Road Was A Sign To Stop Driving

Driving an 18-wheeler at night, I’ve had a couple of things happen. One night around midnight, after driving most of the day in heavy traffic near Murfreesboro, Tennessee, I saw a lady in between lanes with a lacy white dress just blowing in the wind.

I slammed on the brakes and missed a broken bag of concrete with the dust all in the air.

I immediately found a place to park and went to bed.

— George_Parr

12. Someone In The House Started Laughing

I was working the third shift as an EMT and was called to do a welfare check with the police department.

We could see the guy’s legs hanging over his bed through the bedroom window. We knocked, and there was no movement at all, so it was obviously a dead body.

We forced the garage door into the kitchen open, and as soon as we did, we were hit with the “death” smell. All of a sudden, we heard hysterical laughing, which chilled me to the bone. Who could be in this house with a body that smells that bad?

Police drew their guns and started clearing the house, giving commands while the laughing continued.

It turns out it was the guy’s pet bird.

— Freshnow48

13. The Customer Announced His Plan Over The Phone

I worked at a 7-Eleven years ago and was filling in for someone on the overnight shift. This guy pulls up in a taxi, hammered. Only he and I were in the store.

As he was looking over the beer options, he said to his friend on the other end of his flip phone, “I gotta rob this 7-Eleven now; I don’t even have any money to pay for the cab. I don’t really have a choice.”

I started weighing my options in the eternity it took him to browse. I was looking for a stick or pipe to hit him with (he was quite drunk), then I thought to smash a glass coffee pot over his head.

Then I remembered I had the cell number of a cop who worked in that area and texted him. He said he was working and on his way.

It was the longest wait ever as I left him inside and pretended to sweep up/mop/anything but be near the counter.

The cop came in, grabbed the guy, and he had a loaded revolver on him. Bullet(s) dodged successfully.

— Jellyeleven

14. Watching A Horror Movie Before This Shift Was A Mistake

Woman’s prison guard here. I had just watched Smile, and the next night, while I was in the mental health pod, an inmate was standing in a weird ballerina position with her right hand holding a water cup out from her body perfectly straight and with her head tilted, all while she had the biggest, creepiest smile on her face.

She was standing in the exact center of her cell, staring out. In 15 minutes, when I walked by her again, she was just standing still, smiling at the door.

In 15 more minutes, she was asleep in her bed, 15 more minutes and she was standing and saying over and over again that she wanted to hurt me and that I should let her out.

I had a blank, serious face for every encounter with her, but inside, I was screaming and trying to not be a bitch. She has never done anything like that before or after with me.

— herbertcluas

15. A Stranger Emerged From The Fog With A Question

I used to work alone late at night at a warehouse near a port (for safety, that shit wouldn’t fly these days).

There was this one cold, very foggy night I was on the forklift. It was like 1 a.m. or something. I looked out, and there was this silhouette of a person just standing there under the streetlight, shrouded by fog.

It scared the shit out of me, as I was so used to being the only person in that area after 7 p.m. The outline of the person got larger and larger through the dense fog, and finally, a guy emerged, yelling, “Hey!”

I got off the forklift and went over to him, not knowing if he was a threat. The dude coped a huge toothless smile as he just asked, “Where are the lot lizards at!?”

I sent him on the way to the truck stop a few blocks down. I hope he found true love that night.

— loztriforce

The post 15 Night-Shift Workers Share The Creepiest Thing They Saw After Everyone Else Went Home appeared first on Pleated Jeans.