I’ll never forget the conversation I had with my OB-GYN when I wanted to start a family.  She pulled out the dreaded BMI chart and advised me to drop a ridiculous amount of weight before trying to conceive (TTC).  In return I tried yet another crash diet and gained even more weight.

I firmly believe a woman’s BMI should not be the only indication of whether or not she is ready to start TTC.  Her overall health (physical and mental) is far more important.

A woman, regardless of her size, can be healthy and ready to start a family.  Watch the video below to hear my story and learn more…

**Don’t forget to subscribe to the Plus Size Birth YouTube Channel!**

The post TTC and the BMI Myth appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

Today is a special day for moms.  We’re overworked, underpaid, and yet completely in love with our role as “mom.”  This post is all about moms supporting moms!  Take a moment to review our sponsors, by clicking on the images below, and consider them when making your next purchase.  Happy Mother’s Day!

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Part of my work with Plus Size Birth is encouraging women to photograph and embrace their bump!  ”When will I look pregnant?” is one of the most commonly asked questions on the Plus Size Mommy Memoirs Facebook page.  Women often complain of having a B shaped belly rather than a D shaped belly.  The truth of the matter is whether your belly is perfectly round or never pops - you are pregnant.  You are growing life within you and your body is amazing! 

The act of taking maternity photos (from the comfort of your living room or with a professional photographer) is part of embracing your bump and pregnancy.  If not only for yourself, but also for your children who will want to see these images.

If you’re looking for some inspiration you can read this article with tips on how to take a perfect picture, checkout a gallery of over 200 plus size bump photos, or stop by the Plus Size Mommy Memoirs Facebook page where thousands of women will cheer you on!  Below you’ll hear from some lovely mamas about their journey to embracing their bump.

My second pregnancy and my last. I was 36 wks with my son!!! He is now 9 weeks and I already miss being pregnant but I love this picture of my bump because he was my true surprise baby we were not supposed to be able to get pregnant with out help and it happened… And we were not trying! We tried for 4 years for our daughter and only conceived after the use of meds 2nd time around!!

This is me and my husband when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with our beautiful son. I was extremely miserable taking these pictures it was so hot, and I was huge! Looking back I’m so grateful my sister pushed me to take them. I think being pregnant opened my eyes to how amazing my body really is.

This is me 37 weeks pregnant with my twins boys back in 2011. 3 days after this picture was taken I delivered them by c section bc of baby b being breech. I loved how I looked and felt…I was in so much pain but loved feeling my babies move and kick.

Hi, I am Kiesha and this pic was taken during my first pregnancy, I was 7 months/30 weeks pregnant. I started my pregnancy at a size 22….and my b-shaped belly eventually rounded out and rode high!

Hi! My name is Bethany and I am 30 weeks pregnant here with baby #4. Baby is now 3 weeks old and after 3 boys (ages 7, 5 and 3) I have a daughter. Her name is Jovie. While I was pregnant with her, I felt beautiful. I loved my growing body and how I felt while carrying her. I had an amazing home/water/HypnoBirth and want plus size women to know to trust their bodies. Know that they are not flawed! Our bodies are just as amazing as smaller bodies!

Hello, this is me at 37 weeks. I remember feeling more beautiful than I have ever felt in my life. I welcomed every new tiger stripe that formed on my bump because they are a big part of my journey to motherhood <3
Thank-you
Angela Brandon

24 w 5 days due June 6 th with my first girl. I have 3 living boys. And 1 boy in heaven.

This is me at 40 weeks. Bella is set to be born on thursday!! Our 1st child and we are very happy our miracle after 4 years of marriage.

I was so ashamed of the B-shape of my belly that I attempted to become an expert in camouflage. Loved my pregnancy though, and tried to spend more time focusing on the little boy I was growing instead of my non-standard belly.

The one in pink shirt I was 34wks. This was my second pregnancy, first girl and was giving this baby to my twin sister who was not able to conceive with her husband. 2nd pic, same pregnancy, day before delivery. ..This is back in July 08. Wasnt plus size before but am now..had one more, my daughter Street this pregnancy and wish I had had more confidence to have done pictures. This was first summer pregnancy. ..in Houston, Tx lol.

And here I was, 200lbs pre pregnancy thinking I would never have a bump! Boy did I ever have one! And a picture of me just under 4 months post-partum. Every stretch mark is a blessing!

This photo was taken on the 10th Feb 13 and I’m 39w + 5d. I didn’t take any pregnancy photos with my first son and up until seeing a few ‘bump’ photos on your page, I had no intentions of taking any this time around either. I never fell in love with my B shaped bump and always thought I just looked fatter, not pregnant! I’m so glad hubby took this photo of my son giving his ‘baby brother’ a kiss. We are all very excited to meet him in the next few days!

I never felt so beautiful as I did when I was pregnant!

This was at 41 weeks (the day before I had my son). I had a B belly my entire pregnancy…but I still loved being pregnant because I never felt like I had to “suck it in”, etc

Here are two pregnancy photos of me. I’ve been blessed with being able to carry children. I don’t want to forget just how big I got even though I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum throughout, I need a reminder of how much I’ve accomplished to help me to look at myself in a more loving light after being pregnant.I may not love how my body looks, but I love what it can do! Creating a life is important work.  Thanks!  T.Marie

I am 30 weeks in the photo. I love how my daughter is photo bombing down the hallway. The picture makes me feel strong and beautiful. Honestly I feel so much prettier when pregnant. It rounds out my rolls and allowed me to wear stretchy pants and more form fitting tops.

I took very little pictures with my son, and those I did I love and he loves to see them. So I vowed to take more with this one, I’m even doing a photo shoot later with this pregnancy. Very excited!

The post Embrace Your Bump appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

We’re super excited to announce the launch of the Plus Size Birth YouTube Channel! This provides us with an opportunity to connect with you like never before. We’ll cover fun topics like plus size maternity clothes and serious issues like women of size being treated poorly by their care providers. If you have any tips or suggestions we’d love to hear from you. You can contact us at plussizebirth@gmail.com.  Watch the video below to learn more and subscribe today.

http://www.youtube.com/plussizebirth

The post Plus Size Birth YouTube Channel appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

Lesson #1 – Have fun with the camera! While I’ve always been photogenic, I didn’t realize how beautiful I am until a friend took the perfect picture of me below.  We were having an adult slumber party (margaritas in hand) and she somehow convinced me to do a little photo shoot.

I shared the photo on my Myspace page (boy did I just date myself) and received a bunch of comments.  People called me a word I wasn’t used to hearing – gorgeous.  This photo boosted my confidence and helped me to see a side of myself I never embraced before.  The unexpected bonus was that it also helped me to feel even more confident having my picture taken!  Since that experience I’ve been known to do fun impromptu photo shoots with friends and even my husband.

Lesson #2 – Hire a photographer who makes you feel comfortable. Flash forward to the summer of 2008 when I was meeting with my wedding photographer, Andrea Akins, two months before the big day.  I felt compelled to tell her I am plus size (I like to state the obvious) and how I preferred to be photographed, “downward angles and try not to get too many photos where I have more than one chin.”  She smiled and said she’d take good care of me.

I trusted her and the photos turned out amazing.  I looked perfect and learned the importance of hiring a photographer who makes me feel comfortable.

#3 - The way you see yourself in photos isn’t the same way others see you. By motherhood I had joined everyone, including my mother, on Facebook.  My sister was stunned to see photos I was posting that weren’t just downward angles.  I looked like “me” on Facebook and even had the occasional double chin.

Speaking of that chin, my friend James is a photographer and I asked him to take a few photos of my newborn and I.  When I first saw the photo below I immediately focused on my face but then I looked down and saw my son.  When I was able to overlook my perceived flaw, I saw a photograph that beautifully captures the love between a mother and child.

When I shared this photo on Facebook people were blown away.  No one said anything about that darn chin.  I’m so thankful I looked down and saw what others saw – a perfect photo!

#4 – Don’t attempt to do anything you don’t normally do before a photo shoot. I hired my friend Jenna, from Jenna Rice Photography, to take family photos for my son’s first birthday.  I knew she’d make me feel comfortable but I had recently put on weight and wasn’t feeling so pretty. I had the “brilliant” idea that fake eyelashes would make me look amazing. Upon applying the eyelashes I realized they were too long and needed a trim.  I’m sure you can guess where this story is headed.  As I was cutting my hand slipped and I cut off a chunk of my own eyelashes!  Then my husband witnessed a complete and utter meltdown.  I called Jenna in a panic and she was so sweet.  We rescheduled the shoot due to my accident and some pending weather.  I was lucky!  If the session hadn’t been rescheduled I would’ve taken horrible photos because I didn’t feel confident in the least.

I now avoid doing any major or minor cosmetic alterations (from getting my hair cut to doing my own eyelashes) before photo shoots.  I also pick out my outfit well in advance.  All I need to look perfect is a smile and my secret weapon…Spanks!

Lesson #5 – Let go!  By now I was confident being in front of the lens.  I only hired photographers who I was comfortable with. Photos of the “real me” were all over Facebook and framed within my home.  I also only hired professionals to apply fake eyelashes before photos shoots.  So of course the next logical step was to strip down for the camera!

Okay that’s not really what I had in mind but when a few of my friends were signing up for a boudoir photo shoot, with Acoma Street Photography, I did too.  I thought it would just be a sexy Valentine’s Day gift for my husband, but what it ended up being was a transformative experience for me.  I had to completely let go and put all of my trust in the photographer’s hands.  The act of letting go and feeling like a model was so empowering!  The photos are stunning but the perfect experience is what stands out.

Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  Looking perfect in a picture is all about embracing the experience and hiring a photographer you feel comfortable with.  Stop focusing on your perceived flaws and let go (with or without taking your clothes off)!

Be sure to checkout the Mom In Front project on Facebook that encourages moms to come out from behind the camera.

The post How To Look Perfect In A Picture appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

Kelli was one of the first people to interview me and share my story on her incredible show Birth Stories on Demand.  We’ve even connected to help grow one of the largest collections of Plus Size Birth Stories.  Kelli spends so much of her time helping other moms-to-be and mothers.  She has such positive energy that you’d never imagine her personal struggle.  The struggle to support one of her children who has a form of autism that causes her to be physically and emotionally abusive.

I remember, during my interview with Kelli, she had to stop the call in the beginning and made a loving comment about having an autistic daughter.  She, like all mothers, helped her child out and then rejoined our call.  Following the interview we connected as Facebook friends and I enjoyed seeing many hilarious status updates.  Kelli’s bubbly personality sure comes out strong on Facebook and her show.  After two years of giggles I started to see a lot of heartache.  Her sweet daughter, Issy, really needed some help.  Kelli had been hospitalized on more than one occasion with head injuries her daughter had inflicted upon her.  I can’t imaging loving your child so much and yet fearing their next outburst.  Fearing being hit and doing everything within your power to protect your other children.  Heartbreaking!

Then there was hope.  Kelli and her family found a wonderful facility that would help Issy with her behavioral issues.  She was admitted and started to finally receive the medical care she so desperately needs.  Unfortunately, it’s very expensive, $765 a day, and insurance won’t cover it.  Kelli started writing her story within her blog, The Status Woe, and reaching out to local media outlets.  Donations started to come in.  Money that helped Issy’s stay go from days to weeks.  Though it’s still not enough and that’s one of the main reasons why I’m sharing Issy’s story.

YOU can make a difference and there are many different ways to help!

1.  “Like” Team Issy on Facebook

2.  Share Kelli’s blog article - The Status Woe

3.  Send Issy some mail to brighten her mood (more info below)

Issy Stapleton
Care of the Great Lakes Center for Autism Treatment and Research
9616 Portage Rd.
Portage, Michigan 49002

4. Make a financial donation to help keep Issy in treatment.

As mothers we need to come together and support one another!  Kelli has done so much for others that it’s time we do something for her.

Message from Kelli on how you can send Issy some cheer:  Several of you have asked, so if you would like to write to Issy Stapleton, she would love to get mail. Please write about the instruments you play, the names of your family members (seriously, she’ll remember all of them), the names of your pets, include pictures (it doesn’t matter if she knows you or not). That would make her day! If you want to send her something, she likes coloring books, nail polish, Her favorite color is pink and she wears an adult size large. She loves VHS dora or sesame street videos (check your basement or Good Will. She has all of them on DVD but… well, it’s an autism thing!)—> Issy Stapleton Care of the Great Lakes Center for Autism Treatment and Research 9616 Portage Rd. Portage, Michigan 49002

The post A Mother’s Love: Kelli Stapleton’s Story appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

I’m thrilled to announce I’m working towards becoming certified as a CAPPA childbirth educator.  I plan to build a childbirth curriculum specifically for plus size pregnancy and birth.

Click here to hear my interview with CAPPA.

The post Plus Size Pregnancy & Birth – CAPPA Interview appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

The photo below has popped up all over social media and the blogosphere.  I spent awhile trying to find where it originated from.  The nearest I can tell it’s from the website Stop Hating Your Body and the model’s name is Natalie.  I wonder if Natalie knows how inspirational she is?  She has encouraged many women to stop the self-hatred and start embracing who they are!  A group of women from the Plus Size Mommy Memoirs community decided to create their own versions of Natalie’s photo.  I was so moved by their courage I also stripped down and participated.  I hope these photos serve as a reminder that a clothing size should never dictate beauty or self-worth.  We are all glorious!

The post Cardboard Courage appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

Oxytocin, the love hormone, is most often talked about during childbirth, but it’s also present when you get a bunch of women together.  I recently experienced an oxytocin overload at a comedy show created just for moms called The Pump and Dump.  Shayna Ferm, one of the creators and performers, had me laughing harder than I had in years.  It was an important reminder that I need to get out with my mommy friends more often.  Below you’ll see a photo of my friends and I at the show and an interview with Shayna.

Shayna you’re hilarious!  I’d love to hear what got you into comedy and performing. I went to a conservatory acting program in Chicago for college and moved to New York soon after.  I started writing and performing sketch comedy as a way to be seen and to keep working.  The music and stand-up developed from writing songs for our sketch shows.  I never really saw myself doing what I do.  It just kind of happened.

What inspired you and your friends to create The Pump and Dump and how did you come up with the name?  I was in the shower and started thinking about what I wanted to produce here in Denver, since I was new to the city and saw that there are such great venue opportunities.  I had just given birth to my son and was in the trenches of parenthood so incorporating that side of my life seemed obvious.  I had also had a great conversation with my friend Karen about how large and involved the mom community is here in the Highlands and so I think all those thoughts stewed together and I proposed we host a “Pump and Dump.”  The name can mean a few different things – literally to pump and then dump because you are drinking (I don’t even think that works, by the way) or to gab and dump on motherhood with your friends.  I think we just want people to have a sense of humor about being parents and have a place and time to lighten up a bit.  If you can’t laugh at yourself as a parent and at your kids for all the ridiculous things they do, then you really do need a drink.

How do you balance being a mama of two little ones and being a career woman?  Not well. Ha. As well as continuing to produce and perform, I launched a new design business last year with my partner who is still in NY, I freelance as a graphic designer as well, and I’m at home with my kids – although we did start sending my older one to daycare twice a week.  It’s funny how having one kid is extremely difficult, but once you have two, having one is like a vacation.  Anyway, I work from home and I don’t recommend it. When I’m with my kids I want to be present with them, not juggling emails and work. The grass is always greener, I suppose.  Boy – I’m not being funny AT ALL.

Within your comedy sketch you allow mothers to poke fun at themselves  with a “mother of the year” bit.  Do you have a mother of the year  moment you could share with us?  I was stoked to watch Beyonce during the Superbowl and could not get my daughter to watch.  I kept saying – “Look – dancing!  Watch, Georgia!  It’s Beyonce and they are dancing!  Isn’t that cool?!” but she didn’t care and was jumping around making a lot of noise and so I got pretty frustrated and yelled meanly and loudly in front of a room full of people “Georgia Mae, you are not my daughter! I disown you!”  Mother of year?

The post The Pump and Dump – An Interview with Shayna Ferm appeared first on Plus Size Birth.

In the United States 30% of births are via c-section and that percentage goes all the way up to 50% for morbidly obese women.  I recently asked the following question on the Plus Size Mommy Memoirs Facebook page, “C-section mamas – what’s something you wish you would’ve known beforehand? What advice would you give to a woman who is scheduled to have one?”  That thread received over 130 responses.  I divided the advice and some research I did in the following way: preparing for surgery, operating room, immediately following surgery, hospital recovery and home recovery.

This article, C-section for Plus Size Women, is all about providing support! It is my greatest hope it will help women to feel less afraid and more knowledgeable about what they might experience.  After learning a lot about the procedure I have this to say, women who experience a c-section are amazing.  They did not fail and are not any less of a woman.  If anything they’re even stronger than they think they are!

WARNING – some of the photos below are graphic and may not be suitable for everyone. 

Preparing for Surgery

• Needing a c-section is in no way a failure, it’s an understanding that you need a little help to safely bring your baby into this world.
• If you had desired a vaginal birth know that many women can go onto have a vaginal birth after cesarean with future births.
• Consider writing a birth plan for your c-section.
• Watch this c-section video to have a better understanding of what the experience will be like.
• Consider hiring a doula to support you and your partner through this experience.
• Make lots of freezer meals and plan to have people lined up to offer you support once you’re home.

Operating Room

• The anesthesiologist, not your OB-GYN, decides who can join you in the operating room.  Usually they will only allow one person to join you, however, it never hurts to ask. Request to have your partner and another support person, like a doula or family member, by your side.  One support person can stay with the baby and the other with you.
• Blow out when they are inserting the spinal block.
• It might take them multiple times to get the needle in, just breathe through it if it happens to you.
• The spinal block can make you really cold and weak.  Don’t be concerned if you’re shaking, it can be a normal side effect.
• The operating room is very cold.  Ask for warm towels and blankets to be put over your arms, chest, and around your head.
• It’s common procedure to have your arms strapped down.  If this bothers you have a conversation with the OB-GYN about what your options are.
• Some women appreciated having two small holes on either side if their incision to help with draining.  Or even having a drain placed.  Ask your care provider about this.
• Ask for comforting music to be played rather than hearing the doctors talk about their weekend plans.
• Consider the use of aromatherapy.
• If you feel anything from the waist down speak up and your pain meds will be increased.
• A catheter will be inserted since you will be unable to walk right away.
• If given the choice between staples or stitches, many women of size preferred stitches.
• You may feel tugging as the baby is gently removed from your uterus and cramping as your baby is born.
• Have your partner take pictures of your first moments meeting your little love.  Consider asking a nurse to snap your first family picture.

Immediately Following Surgery

• While a few hospitals provide natural cesareans it’s still a very new concept.  You can request immediate skin-to-skin following the birth of your child but they may not grant it.
• If you’re unable to do skin-to-skin, ask to have the baby’s first blankets placed upon your chest. This will help to release hormones within your body to contract your uterus and let your body know it’s time to produce milk.
• Have your partner provide your baby with some much needed skin-to-skin if you are unable to. Most often there’s a 45 – 60 minute waiting period before you’ll be able to hold your baby in the recovery room.  Often you will be able to touch your baby and be cheek-to-cheek before they are taken to the nursery while you’re being stitched up.

Hospital Recovery

• Attempt to breastfeed as quickly as possible.  Expect your milk to take up to five days to come in but your baby will receive colostrum right away.  Ask to see a lactation consultant.
• Skin-to-skin with your baby is the best pain medication there is!
• You will be unable to stand or walk until the medication has worn off.  As soon as you’re able to move your lower half the medical staff will encourage you to stand and take a few steps.
• Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and lower/raise yourself while exhaling.
• Get up and walk as early as you can.  This will help with blood circulation and reduce gas pain.
• Compression stockings are a must following major surgery.
• Drink lots of water.
• Press a pillow against your stomach when you sneeze, cough, or even laugh.
• Also it might be comforting to press a pillow against your stomach while going to the bathroom.
• Request stool softeners and make sure you have enough on hand for your recovery at home as well.
• Gas pain can be very unpleasant.
• Request an ice pack.
• The area of your incision will be numb for an undetermined amount of time.
• Make sure someone helps support you while you take your first shower.
• Keep your incision area clean and dry.  Tuck sterile gauze pads over the incision to help prevent infection.
• Some women find it helpful to dry their incision with a hair dryer on a low setting after a shower.
• You will still bleed vaginally.  The hospital will provide you with sanitary pads during your stay.

Home Recovery

• Accept help!  Recovery time varies for each woman but most can’t return to doing normal activities for at least 6 – 12 weeks.
• Keep the incision dry and clean.
• Do not lift anything heavier than your baby.
• Do your best to sleep when the baby sleeps or at least rest when your baby is sleeping.
• Get up and walk often but don’t over do it.
• Wear loose fitting sweats/yoga pants
• Sanitary pads can be placed against your incision during the healing process.
• Overnight pads are advisable for this use and vaginal bleeding.
• Take home some extra mesh panties from the hospital.
• Vitamin E oil can reduce the appearance of your scar.
• Eat foods that are high in fiber, like green veggies, to help with constipation.
• Keep a water bottle near you at all times and drink it!
• Some women find it really comforting to wear a belly band.
• Have someone with you for a least two weeks to help with shower breaks, cooking, other children, pets, household chores, etc.
• If possible make your bed as high as possible so it’s easier for you to get in and out of it.  Some women even prefer sleeping in a recliner since laying flat will be extremely uncomfortable for quite sometime.
• Tell visitors you just had major surgery.  You are not expected to be a hostess!  Unless they are coming to help clean or bring a meal, ask them to politely stay away until you feel up to it.
• Consider having a list of things you need so when people call you can let them know how the can be of assistance.
• Stay on top of your pain medication.
• Ice packs will help with pain and swelling.
• If you’re having any difficulty breastfeeding contact a lactation specialist or your local La Leche League.
• Consider hiring a postpartum doula.
• Keep the peri bottle from the hospital.  You can use it to help keep your incision clean.
• Wait to drive until you feel ready to do so.  It will take more energy out of you than you can imagine.
• If you have negative feelings about your birth, contact your local ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) group for support.
• Keep the list of warning signs your doctor will provide you with handy.  If you have any concerns call your care provider right away.

For anyone looking for tips to avoid a c-section I highly recommend this article, Women of Size and Cesarean Sections: Tips for Avoiding Unnecessary Surgery, written by Pamela Vireday of Well-Rounded Mama.

Thank you to all of the mothers who contributed to this article by sharing their experiences and powerful photos.  If you’d like more support on having a c-section as a plus size woman the Plus Size Mommy Memoirs community is here for you.   

The post C-Section for Plus Size Women appeared first on Plus Size Birth.